a space filled with:
𖹭 BTS + Jungkook
𖹭 storytelling & original writings
𖹭 Tyriq Withers
𖹭 Michael Jackson
𖹭 sports/lifestyle moments
𖹭 late-night thoughts, playlists & aesthetics
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this blog is basically a mix of:
clean visuals, gym energy, k-pop obsession, emotionally attached fictional characters, and me screaming internally over edits and being truly british
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expect:
✦ imagines/fics
✦ moodboards
✦ soft + chaotic reposts
✦ music
✦ random thoughts
✦ pretty people with devastating energy
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currently surviving on:
energy drinks, Jungkook edits, Michael Jackson performances, and delusion ♡
↳ feel free to interact, message, or cry over fictional men with me!!
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) uppercase intended!! short ass chap cos im experiencing like minor writer's block rn :((
Ledger sent the invitation to you. And poor man, he instantly regretted it, so he puts his phone down face flat on the counter surface.
Ledger's inner voice has somehow become louder than any of his thoughts that are trying to convince him that you won't come - because: you might be busy; you have a life and friends and so many other people you'd rather spend a Saturday with; he also is realising that inviting you...may or may not have crossed an invisible line (that was a very visible line to everyone but the two of you).
Ledger is halfway through helping D find her second matching trainer when his phone buzzes. Your contact name lights his phone up with a message saying:
hey yk what? i'd love to come
coincidentally my plans had been cancelled too LOL
and like i have been meaning to go there anyway so... win-win :))
Diem notices the look on her father's face. And for a seven year old, she'd been utterly observant these days. And the look on his face isn't one to miss at all, and says, "She said yes didn't she?"
Ledger stares at her incredulously. "H-how did you know?"
Diem simply shrugs. "'Cause. You do that thing where you smile with your eyebwows!"
Ledger immediately disputes the observation and starts getting into a heated debate with her (you can imagine how that went down).
As the brawl continues, Diem is babbling away as to how Ledger's face changes when it comes in regard to you, but he stopped listening ages ago. He was now standing in her bedroom, in front of her closet, trying to pick her a jumper because the weather had dropped a bit unexpectedly.
Diem's babbles halted as soon as Ledger asks what hair she wants and if she wants any accessories. And as any seven year old girl would do, she spends about ten minutes trying to decide between her two favourite hair clips - her rainbow puppy hair clip, or her sunshine happy face hair clip.
She asked whether she should wear the bow from her dance recital because "Miss Y/N liked it~".
And Ledger laughs.
Because he had also noticed he's paying a little more attention to what shirt he himself puts on than he normally would ('cos he rotates the same couple of tees each week).
He changes once.
Then again - wasn't right for a market, dude. - his inner voice remarked.
He then tells himself it's because the first tee had coffee on it from earlier on in the week at his shift at Ward's.
Through The Waves - Tyriq Withers x Amira Blake (oc)
⤷ Amira Blake is in the final stretch of her pregnancy with her first child. After months of preparing, planning, and dreaming, early labour sets in. At home with her loving husband Tyriq, and surrounded by her doula, midwives, and mother, Amira begins the long and emotional journey of a home water birth. The story follows through her hours of contractions, moments of fear, waves of hope, and the unshakeable support of the people she loves most.
warnings: fluff, british OC (but can be read in any accent u want), set in London, emotional mess, ty being a girl dad asf <33 (ty took her last name btdubs) - also the editing is doing my head in so apologies if it looks really scruffy <33
Our Little World.
The first thing Amira noticed was how different the world felt.
It hadn't changed.
The pavements were still lined with neat rows of brick houses draped in climbing ivy, the little independent cafés still carried the comforting smell of freshly baked bread and roasted coffee beans into the morning air, and the nearby park still echoed with the distant laughter of children chasing footballs across the grass.
Everything was exactly as it had been before.
Yet somehow...
Nothing was the same. Because for the first time, they weren't stepping out of the house as just Amira and Tyriq.
They were stepping out as Mum and Dad. The thought settled warmly in her chest as she walked slowly beside him, one hand tucked securely into the crook of his arm while the other absentmindedly rested on the edge of the pram.
Tyriq, meanwhile, looked like he was transporting a priceless museum artefact.
His hands gripped the handlebar with almost comical concentration, his pace noticeably slower than usual as he carefully navigated every crack in the pavement. Every dropped kerb. Every tiny bump.
Every uneven paving stone became an obstacle requiring intense strategic planning.
Amira watched him for nearly two whole minutes before finally smiling to herself.
"Bunny?"
"Hm?"
"You know prams have wheels, right?"
He didn't look away from the pavement.
"I know."
"So..."
"They're doing their job."
She bit back another laugh.
"I don't think you need to avoid every single leaf."
"I don't know if it's slippery."
"It's a leaf."
"It could be deceptive."
She burst into laughter. A proper laugh this time. The kind that doubled her over slightly.
Tyriq finally looked at her.
"What?"
"You've officially become impossible."
"I've become cautious."
"You walked around a dandelion."
"It looked suspicious."
She reached up and pinched his arm affectionately.
"Oh, sweetheart."
His serious expression cracked almost instantly into a grin.
"I just don't want her first outing to involve unnecessary turbulence."
Amira glanced into the pram.
Zaliyah, completely unaware of her father's painstaking efforts, was fast asleep beneath a soft cream blanket, her tiny nose barely visible above the edge.
"I don't think she's noticed."
Tyriq's shoulders relaxed just enough for him to glance down too.
The sight made his entire face soften.
"There she is."
Amira had noticed that happened a lot.
Every single time he looked at their daughter, the rest of the world disappeared. His eyes lost that playful spark and instead filled with something quieter.
Something deeper. Pure devotion. It made her heart ache in the best way.
They continued walking at an unhurried pace until they reached the little high street they visited almost every weekend before Zaliyah had been born.
The flower shop owner smiled the second she saw them.
"Oh!"
Her face brightened immediately.
"You had your baby!"
Amira smiled warmly.
"We did."
The woman stepped out from behind buckets overflowing with sunflowers and lavender, her expression softening as she peeked carefully into the pram.
"Oh, goodness."
Her hand flew gently to her chest.
"She's absolutely beautiful."
Tyriq couldn't help himself. A smile stretched across his face so wide his cheeks began to ache.
"Thank you."
"How old?"
"Just over a week."
The florist looked back and forth between them before grinning knowingly.
"You've both got that look."
Amira laughed.
"What look?"
"The exhausted one."
Tyriq snorted.
"Fair."
"The completely besotted one."
That made both of them glance down at Zaliyah simultaneously.
Without even thinking, their hands found each other over the pram handle. The florist noticed. Her smile somehow softened even more.
"She's a lucky little girl."
As they continued on, Amira slipped her fingers through his.
"You hear that?"
He squeezed gently.
"I think we're the lucky ones."
A few streets later they stopped outside their favourite little café.
The owner, Mr Patel, looked up from wiping down one of the outdoor tables and immediately broke into the biggest smile.
"Tyriq!!"
He came around the counter before stopping himself a respectful distance away.
"So this is who you've both been hiding away with."
Tyriq laughed. "Our daughter."
Mr Patel bent carefully to look inside the pram.
"Oh..."
His eyes lit up.
"Welcome to the neighbourhood, little one."
He straightened with a smile.
"Your usual order?" Amira nodded.
"If that's okay."
"For you two?"
He waved a hand dismissively.
"Always."
While Mr Patel disappeared inside, Amira noticed a little girl standing with her mother a few metres away.
She couldn't have been older than five. She kept peeking shyly toward the pram. Eventually, encouraged by her mum, she toddled over.
"Excuse me?"
Amira crouched slightly.
"Hi."
The little girl pointed toward Zaliyah.
"Is that your baby?"
"It is."
"She's very little."
Amira smiled.
"She is."
The child thought for a moment before giving a tiny wave toward the sleeping newborn.
"Hi, baby."
Tyriq's heart nearly exploded. He looked at Amira. She was already tearing up. The little girl beamed proudly.
"I've got a baby brother."
"Have you?"
She nodded enthusiastically.
"He cries lots."
He laughed.
"They do that."
"But then Mummy cuddles him."
Amira's chest tightened.
"I bet he likes those cuddles."
The little girl looked thoughtfully at Zaliyah one last time before whispering, as though sharing a very important secret, "I think she's going to like cuddles too."
Then she skipped back to her mum. For a long moment, neither Amira nor Tyriq spoke. They simply stood there looking into the pram. At their tiny daughter sleeping peacefully through every conversation.
Through every smile. Through every new face. Amira rested her head lightly against his shoulder.
"You know what?"
"Hm?"
"I used to think becoming parents meant our world would get smaller."
He frowned slightly.
"But it doesn't." She smiled as another passer-by glanced into the pram and smiled before continuing on.
"It gets bigger."
Ty looked around. At the familiar streets. The café they'd visited dozens of times. The florist. The little girl. The neighbours waving as they passed.
Then finally...
He looked down at Zaliyah. His lips curved into the softest smile.
"It does."
He leaned over the pram.
"So many people already love you, princess."
Amira wrapped an arm around his waist.
"And you've only just got here."
Just then, as if she knew she was being talked about, Zaliyah stirred. Her tiny eyelids fluttered open. She blinked once...
Twice...
Then looked straight up at the two faces smiling down at her.
Tyriq's breath caught.
"There she is."
Amira leaned down too, brushing one finger gently across Zaliyah's impossibly soft cheek.
"Hi, sweetheart."
For one brief, perfect moment, their daughter simply looked back at them.
Safe beneath the shade of the pram.
Wrapped in blankets.
Surrounded by sunshine.
And completely unaware that she had become the centre of two entire universes.
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
a/n: im so sorry for these late and unscheduled and unorganised posts, im not feeling the best these days but i promise that i will get better onto updating every other day for you guys!!
things worked because they were simple.
didn't they? the thought should have honestly settled the matter. instead, disappointment arrived first.
not relief. disappointment. it settled low in his chest with surprising weight, forcing him acknowledge something he'd been carefully, like, avoiding for weeks on end now.
he didn't want things to stay exactly as they were anymore. the admission, quite frankly, scared him. not because it was wrong - hell no - but because it had felt right.
and right was infinitely more dangerous. before he could lose his nerve again, he unlocked his phone again for what felt like the hundredth time that morning.
his fingers moved before his mind had the chance to overthink them.
hi.
diem's campaigning very hard for an "adventure" this afternoon now that dance had been cancelled.
we were thinking of havin a wonder round the market in town for a couple of hours
no pressure at all, but if ur still yk unexpectedly free...she'd love it if you joined us.
then again. his thumb hovered over the send button for so long that the screen began to dim.
"daddy?" he looked up. diem stood halfway down the stairs wearing two completely socks, one trainer, and what appeared to be a pirate hat she'd found in her dress-up box.
"you've got your thinking face on."
"my what now?"
"the one where your eyebrows do that." she demonstrated by scrunching her forehead until she looked deeply and utterly concerned about something entirely imaginary.
ledger laughed despite himself. "i do not have a thinking face."
"you do."
"i don't."
"you definitely do!"
she wandered closer, peering suspiciously at the phone in his hand before looking back up at him with a smile so goddamn knowing it bordered on alarming and slightly psychotic.
"is it because you're asking Miss Y/N to come?"
ledger froze. children. children should not have instincts this good.
"...maybe."
her grin softened into something surprisingly gentle. "i think she'll say yes."
Summary: Naru’s a preschooler now and of course, that comes with a whole new world of parenting challenges, but neither of you expected just how many issues would arise throughout her first year of school.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Parents AU, Established Relationship, Angst, Smut, Fluff, Crack
Author's Note: OMG I’m so excited to finally be posting this!! I still can’t believe it’s been a year since cradle robbers, the fic that really started it all! you guys know how much I love these two so it was such a pleasure returning to their world. this is fairly different from the other cradle robbers fics and a lot more angsty than I anticipated, but it’s the good kind that just makes them come back together stronger than ever 🥹 I truly hope you all enjoy this and as always, let me know what you think! happy first anniversary to all my beautiful readers :)
-> Cradle Robbers Masterpost, Cradle Robbers x Two Masterpost
Abundant tears are shed the morning of Naru’s first day of preschool. But ironically, only a quarter of them are from her own eyes. Another quarter fall from yours, while the remaining half all stem from her loving father.
In fact, once Naru’s little legs carry her through the school’s front doors, Jungkook literally coils himself around a tree and refuses to take a single step towards the car. Leaving you to desperately tug at his waist in hopes of forcing him to let go.
“Jeon Jungkook!” You scold him between harsh yanks that require your entire body weight. “You are a grown man! Release the tree!”
“No!” Jungkook sulks. “I have to be here when she gets out!”
You groan so loud you’re positive he can feel it against his back.
“That isn’t for another four hours, honey.”
“I don’t care.”
Another pull, at which point he plants his feet so he won’t budge an inch. Jungkook’s usually the pinnacle of a good husband, but right now he feels like a fourth child.
“You’re being ridiculous,” you remark.
It’s clear any further effort on your part will be useless, so you step away while crossing your arms over your chest. When Jungkook realizes you’re relenting, he glances back at you over his shoulder.
“You know what I think is ridiculous? A four year old going to school. She’s practically a baby!”
You chuckle in disbelief.
“Funny how that baby is acting more mature than her father.”
Jungkook pouts, but your comment seems to do the trick because he lets go a second later before turning to face you.
“I just… what if she needs us?” He poses. “What if the other kids are mean to her or she gets scared and wants to come home early?”
A part of you wants to be mad, but Jungkook’s love for your daughter is so damn sweet you can’t help but smile.
“Then it’s a good thing we live right up the street and can come back to get her ASAP.” His lips curve down even more as you close the gap between you to cup his face. “I know it’s hard, baby, but we should be proud and excited for her rather than moping about her growing up.”
He shakes his head as best he can with it trapped by your hands.
“I don’t have it in me.”
It’s your turn to pout while deciding how to best approach this; both so you can actually get him to leave and make him feel better.
“What if we go on a little shopping spree and surprise her with some first day of school gifts?”
Although your husband hates spending money unnecessarily, he adores buying stuff for you and the kids. Plus, there’s no reason to rush home since your one-year-old twins are currently with their grandparents.
As expected, Jungkook’s face lights up at the idea and his arms suddenly wrap around your waist so he can pull you in for a smooch. You giggle into the kiss until he breaks it to steal your hand and lead you towards the car.
You hit multiple different places, including a toy store, book store, and clothing store. Jungkook also shoves you into a jewelry store as an apology for his erratic behavior earlier. Which you and him both know is just an excuse to spoil you.
Since you’re equal opportunists, you purchase some items for the twins, but not nearly as much because it isn’t their special occasion.
Naru deserves to be ravished after being so brave this morning. She was pretty nervous leading up to today, but she only cried for about a minute after hugging you both goodbye before the teacher guided her into the classroom.
It’s your sincere hope she enjoys herself at school. Not only because it’s unavoidable and she has to go whether she likes it or not, but also because she doesn’t have too many friends her age.
Taehyung and Mina’s son, Leo, is just over a year and a half old, so he’s still too young for playdates with her, as are her own brothers. There are a couple neighborhood kids in the right age range, but you don’t see them around very often.
When school lets out, you and Jungkook are the first parents outside for pick up, and your husband spends every second practically vibrating with excitement about seeing his little girl. Meanwhile, you anxiously gnaw on your thumbnail in fear she’ll look miserable when she finally emerges.
As the doors swing open and a hoard of toddlers come scurrying out, you two gasp and bend down so Naru can run straight into your arms.
“Mommy! Daddy!”
She weaves through the tiny crowd before barreling into you by throwing one arm around each of your necks. You both cradle her impossibly close while she nuzzles her head between your faces.
“Oh, we missed you so much, pretty girl,” you tell her.
“I missed you, too, Mommy,” she chirps.
All three of you separate and you feel instant relief over how happy her expression is. She looks positively radiant, with flush cheeks, a toothy grin, and those big eyes you fell in love with while she was still in your womb.
“Was it okay, princess? Nobody was mean? The teacher was nice? You understood everything?” Jungkook asks.
“Mmhm!” She enthusiastically nods, causing you and him to chuckle. “I made a bunch of friends and my teacher was super nice! She even explained stuff again whenever I had a question.”
While you beam over the good news, a slight frown distorts Jungkook’s features. That’s when you realize he was secretly hoping she’d hate it and beg to never go back. Not because he wants her to dislike school, but to protect his own ego. No father wants to hear that their child enjoys being away from home; from them.
“Are you sure? You know, your mom can always homeschool yo — ow!”
Normally, you would refrain from affectionately abusing him in front of your kids, but this calls for drastic measures. Hence Jungkook having to massage his bicep.
“No, I loved it, Daddy,” Naru responds after giggling over his predicament. “I can’t wait to go back tomorrow!”
Your poor husband nearly falls backwards in defeat. If it were up to him, she’d skip going to school altogether and tag along at work with him. In fact, he’d probably prefer all four of you staying by his side twenty four hours a day.
Naru opens her many gifts in the car before all three of you drive to your parents’ house to pick up the twins.
She’s rightfully ecstatic about her new clothes, books, and toys, which she immediately shows off to both her grandmothers once you arrive.
The three of them are in the living room as Naru performs a mini fashion show and raves about her first day of school. In the meantime, you and Jungkook greet your twins after missing them like crazy all day.
Jungkook has Ken high above his head while he makes ridiculous baby noises and funny faces so your son will giggle. On the contrary, Kai’s resting on your shoulder where his arms are tightly wrapped around your neck.
“I missed you, sweet boy,” you tell him with a kiss to his head.
“Missie,” he responds in the most adorable voice imaginable.
Both him and Ken can only parrot short words at this point, but you’re still able to interpret their thoughts after knowing them for over a year.
“That’s right.” You delicately pry him off so he can rest on your hip instead as you comb through his soft, black hair. “That’s what we say when we’ve been away from someone we love for a while.”
His massive obsidian eyes peer up at you with such adoration you almost believe he understands. Although your theory’s instantly disproven when he ignores you in lieu of slapping his hand on the apple of your cheek.
“Mama.”
You giggle and brush your noses together.
“That’s right, too.”
Behind you, the sound of Jungkook and Ken goofing around together echoes throughout the kitchen. You turn to face them and find your husband playfully nibbling on one of Ken’s chubby cheeks.
“Mama!” The little boy cheers and begins reaching for you.
Jungkook passes him to you while you do the same with Kai. You were both initially terrified of having two infants to care for at once, but now you're a well-oiled machine. It’s effortless to swap children or even carry them on one hip each.
“Dada,” Kai coos as soon as he’s safe in Jungkook’s arms. “Dada, Dada, Dada.”
Your husband blushes and smiles so brightly both rows of bunny teeth appear. The twins may have a soft spot for you, but all three of your boys absolutely adore each other. You’re even eager for Kai and Ken to get older so you can watch them interact more.
“Me? I’m Dada?” The baby boy in Jungkook’s arms starts rapidly nodding. “Uh huh. And Dada loves you so, so much!”
Kai squeals when Jungkook pulls him close for an affectionate nuzzle that sends their hair flying in all different directions. Ken’s clearly tuckered out in comparison, since his head falls to your shoulder with his tiny hand resting on your collarbone.
“You wanna go home, little man?” You ask while tickling his tummy.
He giggles and buries his face in your neck, which you accept as an affirmative reply.
All three kids are fast asleep by the time you pull into your driveway, so you carry the twins upstairs while Jungkook scoops Naru up to bring her to her room next door.
After everyone’s tucked in for the night, you two meet in your own bedroom which now resides in what was once the basement. You’re both obviously exhausted, considering you unceremoniously flop onto the mattress together.
On instinct, Jungkook’s arm loops around your waist to pull you closer and you follow his lead by curling into his chest. His lips meet your temple where he places a few lazy smooches and you can’t help but contentedly hum at the sensation.
“We did it,” you quietly declare. “And no one even died.”
Jungkook scoffs.
“My heart did.”
His response makes you snicker as you lean back so you can look into his eyes.
“It’ll heal, my love. Everything’s new right now, but watching her grow up, make friends, and learn about the world will be so exciting.”
“I know, but every time I look at her I still see that baby girl you handed me after she was born,” he laments.
The memory produces a warm grin and watery eyes, both belonging to you. No matter what, her birthday will always be the best day of your life. Nothing could ever compare to holding Naru for the first time with Jungkook by your side.
“She’ll always be our baby girl, Koo. Her age doesn’t change that.”
He sighs and cradles your cheek, letting his thumb gently brush back and forth across your skin.
“But I can’t protect her out there. Here, at home with us, at least I know she’s happy and safe.” His eyes look to be holding all his emotions, and you can’t help but frown. “I’ve heard so many horror stories, Bams. If something were to happen to her…” He shakes his head. “I don’t just mean physically, but to her heart.”
“Things will happen. That’s just part of life. But even though we can’t prevent them, we’ll be here to help her through anything and everything.”
You’re pretty good at talking Jungkook down from ledges and he soon concedes his position with a gracious kiss. But unfortunately for you and your assurances, his fears are quickly proven right.
One issue every child faces when they start school is getting sick far more often. Being around all the new people, places, and things just breeds bacteria and germs no matter how often they wash their hands. The problem is, you and Jungkook aren’t as good at producing healthy babies as you once thought.
It turns out Naru has a weak immune system. Your poor daughter spends the first three to four months of preschool fighting off a variety of coughs, stuffy noses, and mild fevers. Thankfully, it’s treatable with daily vitamins and medicines to keep her white blood cell count in range. But you guys don’t figure out she has a medical issue beyond her recurring common cold until it puts her in the hospital.
Every weekday, Jungkook leaves for work around 7 am after kissing you and the kids goodbye. You usually rise about an hour later to wake said kids, get them and yourself ready, and feed everyone breakfast, all to ensure Naru gets to school on time. Since they can’t be at home alone, the twins always accompany you for drop off and pick up. Which Naru loves because it means spending more time with her little brothers.
This morning begins like any other, with the ghost of Jungkook’s lips on your forehead and his familiar, honey voice whispering that he loves you. Your alarm goes off not long after and you quickly get dressed before heading to the twin’s room. Once they’re secure in their high chairs at the kitchen table, you head back upstairs for Naru.
She’s been sick the last couple days, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary. When you and Jungkook tucked her into bed last night, her mild fever had just broken and she was only coughing once every hour or so.
Every time one of the kids isn’t feeling well, you leave a baby monitor in their room because your bedroom is two floors away. Nothing of note happened during the night, so you’re expecting her to be healthy enough for school.
Upon cracking her door open, the first thing you notice is the sound of heavy breathing. It doesn’t worry you too much considering she has to sleep with her mouth open due to all the nasal congestion. You then flip on the light and sit on the edge of her bed to wake her up.
Except as soon as you rest your hand on her forearm, you gasp at how scalding hot her skin feels. Up close, you see she’s covered in a thin sheen of sweat that’s matted down her hair and even darkened her pajama top.
“Naru?” You pull the covers away while using the back of your hand to gauge her temperature, but it’s hardly necessary when she’s burning up so badly. With the sheets gone, you can tell she’s shivering and suddenly all you feel is sheer, unadulterated panic. “Naru, sweetie, wake up.”
Gently shaking her shoulders, you wait with your lip between your teeth for her eyes to open, but even when you push a little harder, she doesn’t budge.
“Naru, can you hear me?” She’s obviously breathing, and when you peel her eyelids back, her pupils respond to the influx of light, but it doesn’t relieve any of your terror. “Baby, it’s Mommy. You gotta wake up, okay?”
When she still doesn’t reply, you swear your lungs collapse and your chest cavity concaves around your heart.
“Naru.” Your hands try once again to wake her by force. “C’mon, baby.” At this point you’re practically hyperventilating and you feel the pressure of fresh tears in your eyes. “Naru!”
After your final attempt fails, you fish your phone from your pocket to call an ambulance. You’re a total wreck as you weep to the paramedic about her condition before they assure you they’ll be there soon. You call your mom next to ask if she can stay with the twins and your waterworks continue relentlessly while you explain the situation all over again.
Notably, you don’t call Jungkook. You know once he hears the fear in your voice and finds out something's wrong with your precious little girl, he’ll lose it. So, you decide to inform him after you reach the hospital and know more about her condition. You’re already a goddamn basket case and it won’t do Naru any good if you’re both in shambles.
You remain at her side while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, holding one of her clammy hands and brushing back the sweaty locks of black hair stuck to her forehead. You’re still hysterically sobbing, but do your best to whisper encouraging phrases about how she’ll be alright and that her mom’s right beside her.
It’s so hard without Jungkook beside you. Not only are you a team, but he’s your anchor. Whenever he’s near, you have the strength to face what you aren’t able to on your own.
The paramedics thankfully appear before you completely lose your mind and allow you to sit in the back so you can keep holding Naru’s hand.
They start by checking her vitals as well as giving her an oxygen mask and what they call an “ice jacket” to bring her temperature down. Besides her extremely high fever, her other vitals are fine, which gives you just enough peace of mind.
By the time you arrive at the hospital, she’s actually beginning to groan as her eyelids flutter a little. Everyone says they’re good signs, but you won’t be able to breathe freely until you’re certain she’s okay.
Once inside the emergency room, someone places a chair for you at her bedside while the team of doctors and nurses give her a new ice jacket, turn on some cooling fans, and retake all her vitals. Within five minutes, her voice lifts an indescribable weight off your shoulders.
“Mommy,” she weakly rasps.
Her big eyes blink open as her head turns in your direction. That one word alone sounds like a symphony from heaven and you immediately grab her hand again while leaning over to caress her cheek.
“Hi, my princess.”
“Where am I?”
“You’re in the hospital, but you’re gonna be okay,” you explain.
She looks scared despite your assurance, so you squeeze her hand and try distracting her by combing your fingers through her hair.
The doctors give her medicine to bring the fever down, but her temperature’s already astronomically lower than it was when they first checked in the ambulance. Not long after she swallows the cherry flavored syrup, she falls asleep again and you take it as your cue to finally call Jungkook.
Except only moments after stepping out into the hall, you hear rushing footsteps and someone frantically shouting your name. Not your actual name, though.
“Bambi!”
Your eyes widen, but you quickly piece together that one of your parents must’ve called him. The only issue is, Naru’s condition was far worse when your mom saw her being rushed into the ambulance.
Jungkook barrels into you with enough force to knock you both to the ground, but he thankfully has the foresight to slow his momentum before that happens.
“Where is she?”
His hands land your shoulders where you can feel them shaking, prompting you to cradle his flushed, panicked face in your own hands.
“She’s okay,” you profess.
“Your mom said —”
“I know, I know.” He looks so terrified his whole stature appears smaller. The drive from his office is at least thirty minutes and you’re positive he was in agony the entire time. “But she’s okay, Koo. I promise.”
“What happened?”
“She had a really high fever, but they brought it down and now she’s resting.”
“Your mom told me she wouldn’t wake up,” he states across shallow breaths; no doubt from all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. “And I… I was so scared, Bams.” Tears instantly well up in his already red eyes. “Please don’t ever scare me like that again.”
“I know. I’m so sorry, baby.”
“You can’t… you can’t scare me like that.” When his voice breaks and a few droplets roll down his cheek, your heart shatters. “Please don’t ever… you can’t do that to me. Please, baby, don’t ever do that to me again.”
He collapses into you when the silent tears turn into harsh cries, his arms wrapping around your torso so tight it almost hurts. Your own limbs circle his back so one hand can rest in his hair while the other softly traces his spine. His body’s trembling in your grasp, but you just pull him closer.
This is precisely what you were hoping to avoid by only relaying the situation to him once you knew more. You’re sure your mother meant well and thought she was being helpful, but it put Jungkook through an onslaught of unnecessary fear.
You continue apologizing and reassuring him of Naru’s condition, even though you know he doesn’t actually fault you for anything. He may be asking you to spare him from something like this in the future, but in reality he’s begging the universe itself.
Once Jungkook eventually calms down, he lifts his head and trails his hands up your back until he’s cupping your jaw.
“Can I see her?”
“Of course.”
He surprises you with a kiss rather than bolting right into the room. It isn’t just a peck, either, but a soft, reverent press of his lips to your own. Your foreheads meet once your mouths part, where you remain for a moment before he sighs and forces his head up.
Without another word, you take his hand to lead him into the room where Naru’s still sound asleep.
She looks perfectly peaceful as you two approach her bed, but Jungkook still drops straight into the chair and presses one of her hands to his lips.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, Naru,” he whispers.
You pull up another seat for yourself before placing your own hand on his lower back.
“You couldn’t have known, honey.”
Jungkook shakes his head and turns towards you while resting his cheek on his and Naru’s intertwined fingers.
“I should’ve.” His eyes flicker towards her again. “I was in a rush this morning, so I didn’t kiss the kids goodbye like I normally do. Instead I just peeked my head in to say I loved them. If I had, I would’ve known something was wrong, and we could’ve gotten her here faster or maybe even avoided it entirely.”
“Don’t do that to yourself,” you instruct. “She’s here now and she’s going to be just fine.”
When you tuck some hair behind his ear, a gentle smile appears as he twists his head to kiss your fingertips.
“I’m sorry to you, too. I haven’t even asked about you yet.”
“Me?”
“You must have been so terrified dealing with this all by yourself.”
The statement makes you recall how helpless and frightened you felt, but you didn’t focus on your emotions for a single second; Naru’s all that mattered.
“I, uh, I don’t even know how to describe it. On one hand, I remember being petrified, but my mom-brain was also running a million miles a minute.”
“That’s because you’re a goddamn superhero.”
You giggle at the familiar compliment before leaning on his shoulder.
“As long as you’re my sidekick.”
Jungkook chuckles and gives the top of your head a smooch.
“Always,” he promises. You both shift your attention to Naru to watch her chest gracefully rise and fall at a steady rhythm. Her little hand’s still locked with Jungkook’s as his thumb grazes her knuckles. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel more afraid than when I saw you pass out during the twin’s birth.”
It’s fairly difficult to forget the traumatic experience of bringing your boys into the world, and it was even worse for Jungkook.
“Then this morning happened?”
He nods.
“The whole drive over I just kept thinking about what I would do if… if the worst happened. Since the moment you told me you were pregnant, I’ve been Naru’s dad, and it was the first time in my life a title actually meant something to me.” His lip begins to quiver. “I don’t even know who I am, or who I’d be, if not her dad.”
Your mouth drops open in shock until a frown takes over.
“Koo,” you call to him while lifting his chin with your fingertips. “You will always be Naru’s dad, even after both you and her have left this earth. Which won’t be for a long, long time, by the way.”
A small smile accompanies Jungkook sniffling to prevent any more tears from falling. Just then, you hear a soft moan and Naru’s eyes slowly open, causing you both to gasp and eagerly stand so you’re closer to her.
She still appears a little disoriented, but once her sights set on Jungkook above her, she starts beaming.
“Daddy!”
His expression automatically mirrors her own as he bends down to kiss her forehead and brush some hair back.
“Hi, baby,” he coos. “How are you feeling?”
Her brow creases when she glances down, almost like she isn’t entirely sure.
“I had a weird dream,” she answers. “There were flashing lights, a loud ringing, and lots of strange voices. At first I was hot, but then I got really cold.”
You decide to move your chair to the opposite side so she can see you both, and unsurprisingly, her eyes light up once you’re in view. She stretches her hand out, which you gladly accept before pressing a couple kisses to her skin.
“That must’ve been scary,” Jungkook responds to her.
Naru nods.
“I could hear Mommy’s voice, too, but it sounded far away, like she was underwater or something.”
“Well, it’s all over now and the doctors will take great care of you until we go home,” you explain. “Does that sound good, pretty girl?”
Her smile grows and she nods again while sitting up in bed. You click the call button so they can reexamine her now that she’s awake, but it isn’t a doctor who knocks on the door a few minutes later.
Instead, you hear the frantic padding of a very pregnant, very anxious Jihyo.
“Is she okay?” Your best friend pants while traveling as quickly as her swollen feet will allow.
Rather than responding to her yourself, Naru leans back until she’s no longer hidden behind Jungkook.
“Hi, auntie Ji!”
Jihyo stops in her tracks before her entire body visibly relaxes and she sighs in relief.
“Oh, thank God.” When she begins walking again, Jungkook stands to join you so she can sit. “I almost had a heart attack when I saw her name on the ambulance intake list.”
Naru excitedly stretches her arms wide for her beloved aunt, who gives her one of the tightest hugs she’s ever received. She also peppers Naru’s head with kisses until your daughter squeals in protest.
After plopping down in the empty seat, Jihyo’s hands immediately start massaging her baby bump in large circles, bringing a smile to your face because of how adorable she looks with a bun in the oven.
“I didn’t check anything in her file before running… well, waddling, over here. Is everything okay?”
You pet Naru’s hair as she settles back into the bed and pulls the sheets up to her chest. It’s obvious she’s still exhausted from everything her body’s been through, so you lull her to sleep before explaining the situation to Jihyo.
It was fairly soon after her and Namjoon’s wedding that they announced their pregnancy, and now she’s already in her third trimester.
“I can’t believe you’re working seven months pregnant,” you tell her.
She shrugs.
“I’d be too bored if I didn’t.”
Jungkook’s eyes instantly look in your direction and you reply with a warning glance, but he still chuckles under his breath.
“Funny. I don’t remember that being a problem at all for Bambi,” he teases.
Your elbow jabs his side, leaving him hunched over and overdramatically groaning despite your lack of force.
The three of you continue to chat until Jihyo has to return to work, at which point you and Jungkook meet with the doctors to discuss Naru’s condition. They explain the details of her condition and why she keeps getting sick before prescribing her a handful of medications and vitamins to take every day. But they assure you she should only need vitamins to keep her immune system healthy once she’s done with the regimen.
She’s kept overnight just to be safe, so your mom stays at your place with the twins. Thankfully, there’s a small couch in the room you and Jungkook are able to squeeze onto. Except only an hour into the night, Naru begs one of you to join her in the unfamiliar bed. You volunteer for the position and climb in beside her, but once Jungkook sees you two cozied up together, he pouts from across the room.
“So you guys get to snuggle all night while I’m over here by myself?”
Naru giggles and cuddles closer to you.
“It’s girls only, Daddy!”
Jungkook’s lips purse until he looks cartoonishly hurt, causing you and your daughter to laugh at his expense.
“Well, you know what? When we get home, the boys and I are going to have a sleepover and neither of you will be invited!”
“Please do. I’d love a night off from diaper duty,” you counter.
Your very mature husband sticks his tongue out, but you’re not much better when you simply blow raspberries right back.
Although you two love messing around, you genuinely hate sleeping without Jungkook. Of course, Naru’s a great substitute, but having her small frame curled up beside you just isn’t the same as feeling his arms around you or his heartbeat against your back.
With the knowledge of what’s been causing Naru to get sick, you’re able to prevent further illnesses. It’s honestly life changing because you’re finally able to find a rhythm as a family with her consistently going to school.
The only downside is how damn busy you are all the time. Being a stay at home mom with three kids was challenging enough, but it’s nothing compared to leaving the house twice a day to grab Naru. One might believe it can’t possibly be that complex, but dressing, feeding, and strapping two one-year-olds into car seats for both pick up and drop off while still remaining on time is a Herculean labor.
It’s also unexpectedly lonely, because while other parents get to mingle outside the school as they wait for their children, you have to stay in your car with the twins. You don’t mind too much considering you have plenty of friends, but it’s difficult planning play dates for Naru when you’re not familiar with any of the parents.
Which is what you’re currently explaining to Jungkook while moving in and out of the en-suite to complete your nightly routine.
“So then I feel terrible telling her no because I’m not comfortable sending her to someone’s house I don’t know, and since the other mom feels the same, it’s a wash. We could always do a public play date, I guess, but those are logistical nightmares,” you ramble in the middle of applying moisturizer.
“Can’t you just get to know this other mom over the phone or something?” Jungkook suggests from where he’s lounging in bed.
“No.” After setting down your last product, you return to your bedroom and lean against the doorframe. “I swear, parents are crazy these days. I would be perfectly fine with it, but everyone else is super strict.”
Your husband sighs and puts his phone down on the nightstand so he can give you his full attention. It’s obvious how distressed you are, which means it’s up to him to fix it.
“C’mere, babygirl.”
His hand stretches towards you and on instinct, you cross the room so he can guide you into bed. His opposite arm naturally loops around your waist as you straddle his thighs and relax in his lap. Feeling Jungkook’s fingers dance across your ribcage and up your back is mundane, but the familiarity doesn’t make it any less comforting.
“I feel like I’m failing,” you quietly confess.
Your fingertips are drawing nonsensical shapes along his collarbones, one of which is decorated with pretty ink that continues onto his shoulder.
“I know even if I tell you that you aren’t, you won’t believe me.” Can’t argue there. Your husband knows you a little too well on behalf of him spending the first part of his life as your best friend. “So is there anything else I can do to help? Maybe I can talk to my boss about working remotely in the evenings so you don’t have to lug the twins around. I could even pick Naru up from school myself depending on how busy I am.”
The suggestion makes your brow scrunch.
“No… no.”
“Why not?”
Jungkook’s staring at you with those big, chocolate eyes you can never resist. It’s impossible not to melt in them, including relenting to his idea despite feeling the need to prove yourself as a mom.
“Because your job’s outside the home, and mine’s in it. You shouldn’t have to pick up my slack when every other stay at home mom does just fine.”
He scoffs.
“Just because we decided to have you stay here with the kids doesn’t mean I’m absolved of my responsibilities,” he argues. “We have twin toddlers, Bams. I don’t give a damn what other moms can or can’t do. I only care about you. And if you’re driving yourself into the ground trying to balance everything, the least I can do is help.”
“I don’t —”
“Nuh uh. Look at me.” One of his hands slides up your back to grip your jaw and force your eyes to meet. You were purposely avoiding his gaze both for your resolve and so he wouldn’t see how watery your own are. Once he does, his entire expression softens as he leans in to slowly kiss across your cheeks and nose. “I promised to always take care of you, so please let me.”
Following a deep sigh, you fall forward until your foreheads press together.
“I shouldn’t need to be taken care of, Koo. I’m supposed to be the caretaker.”
Jungkook shakes his head.
“That’s not how it works, Bambi.” His thumb glides along your cheekbone, catching the stray tear that escaped from your waterline. “You’ve got me and I’ve got you.”
You can’t help but smile when his words are sweeter than candy. Nevertheless, it’s always been difficult accepting help from anyone, especially after becoming a mom. There’s a constant need deep inside to prove yourself, even though you aren’t sure to whom. With Naru in school, it’s easy to compare yourself to the other parents, and you have a suspicion you just don’t measure up.
But you can’t deny how much stress it’d relieve to have Jungkook around. Your pride’s still on the line, but you think you know how to trick your brain into accepting his help.
“Well, I would love to see you more often,” you state. “I miss you so much during the day.”
He knows precisely what you’re doing, because of course he does. Prompting a wide grin to appear.
“Exactly. How could you ever say no to more time together?”
You giggle and shrug your shoulders.
“And why would I?”
“Right!”
The two of you share a bright laugh until Jungkook muffles it by stealing a kiss. His hand on your face roams into your hair as the arm around your waist brings you closer. Your fingers follow his lead, sliding along his shoulders so you can play with the soft hair at his nape.
With how busy life’s been lately, you can’t remember the last time you kissed and touched one another without rushing. Being parents means most sexual encounters are quickies at best, and ever since Naru started school, even those happen sporadically.
Hence why Jungkook’s leisurely rolling his tongue into your mouth while your lips collide between quiet moans.
You miss the slow moments; chunks of time reserved solely for you two. This hectic period won’t last forever, and you both know that, but it’s still hard when you’re going through it.
“God, I missed the way you taste,” Jungkook mumbles before trailing kisses across your jaw. “Just missed you.”
The sensation of his warm, wet lips on your skin makes your head lull as you sigh and your fingers rake through his hair.
“Koo,” you whisper with a gentle tug.
He merely hums against your throat while continuing to paint you in saliva.
“I love you so damn much, baby.”
It’s his last remark before his face disappears in your cleavage, his tongue darting out to trace the curve of your chest. He eventually switches to sloppy kisses as his hand on your ribs moves to caress your neglected breast over your top.
“I —” A short giggle interrupts you. “I love you, too.”
If he hears you, he doesn’t make it known; far too busy gorging himself on your tits. The only problem is tomorrow’s an early morning because the twins have their final infant vaccine appointment. You’d love nothing more than to let Jungkook do whatever he wants with you for hours on end, but it just isn’t possible tonight.
“Honey, we shouldn’t.” Your husband growls his dissent into your chest. “Jungkook.”
“No,” he whines before shoving his face between your tits. It leaves you relentlessly giggling until he glances up with his infamous puppy eyes. “Please, baby.”
If only you could give in, especially considering you haven’t been able to do anything besides him bending you over a counter or pushing you up against a wall in a long time. Alas, parental duty calls.
“I promise the next time we get a chance, we’ll go all night. Okay?”
Jungkook groans while flopping onto the pillows and you hate the sudden loss of his hands on you.
“It’ll get easier soon, right?”
“Of course, it will,” you answer as your fingers comb through his hair. “Everything’s just so new right now, but once we get a hang of things, we’ll be back to normal in no time.”
He sighs, but he must believe you somewhat because he flashes you a warm smile that you echo right back.
“I can’t wait,” he declares.
You obviously feel the same, and convey your agreement via a chaste kiss.
The following Monday, Jungkook talks to his boss about the possibility of working remotely and they agree to discuss it after the current game launch.
As much as you hate to admit it, you’d be beyond grateful to have help. Even if Jungkook remains in his home office all day while you go about your normal routine, being able to leave the twins at home with him will lift a huge burden off your shoulders. You also can’t deny wanting to see him more often since you’ve both been so busy lately.
A couple weeks later, you and your pair of rambunctious boys are lying on a playmat in the living room as they match toys of different shapes and colors. They’re both so smart already, just like Naru was at their age, making it all too easy to cheer them on.
“Re!” Ken shouts while holding up a red cube.
“Red,” you softly correct him, emphasizing the last letter.
He simply giggles in response before slamming the cube down over the circle hole and moving onto the next one.
Kai, on the other hand, is much gentler in his approach. He rolls the shapes around under his palm to examine them and even gives them a nice bite just to see what information it’ll provide him. Once he’s done investigating, he places the shape into the corresponding hole.
“Good job, little man!”
Your son smiles as though it’s the biggest compliment in the world, his chubby cheeks rising like freshly baked dough.
Ken begins to crawl away from you after finishing his pairs, so you keep a close eye on him. He uses the couch to stand and guide himself towards the entrance of the room and you realize his actions have a purpose once you hear footsteps coming up the stairs.
The little boy laughs like a maniac, no doubt recognizing his dad’s familiar gait. He does his best to walk without holding onto any furniture, but he only lasts a couple steps before he’s on his knees again.
Thankfully, Jungkook waltzes in at the perfect moment, and Ken doesn’t even register the fall because he’s too excited.
“Da! Dada!”
Like always, a massive smile overtakes Jungkook’s face when he bends down to scoop up the toddler.
“There you are,” he cheers. “What’s my little buddy been up to, huh?”
Ken joyously squeals while kicking his feet in the air until your husband lowers him onto his hip and gives him plenty of kisses.
Clearly feeling left behind, Kai makes a break for the action by crawling at light speed towards his father. Jungkook notices immediately, prompting him to place Ken down so he can lift up Kai instead.
“Hey, you!” As soon as he’s able, Kai wraps his arms around Jungkook’s neck and burrows his face in his chest. “Were you having fun with Mommy?”
Your little boy nods without ever lifting his head and Jungkook snickers in adoration before pressing his lips to Kai’s hair.
After momentarily admiring them together, you stand to greet Jungkook as well. Ken reaches for you as you pass by, so you snatch him from the ground and rest him on your own hip.
“What are you doing here so early?”
Before replying, Jungkook leans in for a kiss that causes both boys to giggle.
“Boss gave me the rest of the day off to celebrate another successful launch. Which also means I get to work from home in the afternoons starting next week. All I have to do is come in an hour earlier,” he explains.
Your jaw drops open when you delightfully gasp.
“Really?”
“Yes, ma’am. I know mornings will still be tough, but I hope it’ll help, even just a little.”
“It will,” you assure him. “I can’t thank you enough.”
Jungkook scoffs.
“Are you kidding? More time at home with my wife and kids? Oh, the torture!”
You smack his bicep with your free hand, but he just laughs and swoops in for another smooch.
The babies in your arms begin getting fussy, clearly ready to be put down so they can play some more. You gently return Kai to the floor and he instantly takes off on his hands and knees towards the toys. Jungkook follows your lead by setting Kai down, who races after his brother to join the fun.
A moment later, you feel the familiar sensation of your husband's arms around your waist and you naturally melt into his embrace. His head falls to your neck where he places a few kisses while you trace the tattoos staining his right arm.
“When’s the last time this happened, hm?” Jungkook asks. “Just you, me, and the troublemakers.”
You snicker before resting your head on his shoulder to look at him.
“Maybe four months?”
“We should make the most of it, then.”
“Absolutely,” you concur with a peck.
Suddenly you and Jungkook are standing side by side behind the couch, where you’ve laid down multiple playmats and blankets to form a makeshift aisle. You’re both hunched over with a twin each dangling from your fingertips. The two boys joyously screech and cackle as they hover just above the ground, obviously enjoying being airborne.
Bam and Usagi watch with hesitant curiosity from their place on a nearby chair. Your loving Doberman’s slightly less relaxed than the cat curled up beside him because his protective nature always keeps him on high alert.
“On three?” Jungkook proposes.
“You better not cheat.”
Your eyes are already locked on the opposite side of the room, your target destination, but you still hear his lighthearted chuckle.
“I would never.” With a click of your tongue, you readjust your feet to be ready to run as Jungkook counts down beside you. “Three… two… one… go!”
The very second he shouts the order, you both place your respective child on the floor before taking off towards the end of the last playmat. It’s the finish line for today’s race and the sooner you reach it, the better your chances of victory.
There’s hardly any time between when you two drop to your knees so you can begin encouraging the boys to head in your direction. From the outside, you probably look like a pair of maniacs as you enthusiastically cheer and holler for them to keep crawling.
“That’s a good boy! C’mere, Ken,” you call while motioning at yourself.
“You got it, bubba, come to Daddy.” Jungkook adds motivation by clapping, which seems to grab Kai’s attention. “Yeah, there you go!”
Both twins eagerly follow your commands by crawling across the soft surfaces as fast as they can. They’re neck and neck, so the race will definitely be down to the wire.
You and Jungkook are already trying your best to guide your sons closer, but once they’re within arm’s reach, you really go all out.
“That’s it, Kai!”
“Go, go, go!”
“No mercy!”
“You can do it, baby!”
Their tiny hands are perfectly aligned with only a few steps to go, causing you both to hold your breath in anticipation.
In a surprise twist, Kai slows down just a hair when he glances up at his beloved dad. Once Jungkook realizes what’s about to happen, his eyes expand in horror and he begins frantically waving his hands.
“No, no, no,” he pleads in desperation.
It’s too late. Your son halts only a couple inches before the finish line to mirror Jungkook’s claps with a massive smile on his face. Meanwhile, Ken crawls right into your awaiting arms for a landslide victory. You let out a celebratory squeal as you stand and twirl the toddler high above your head.
“You did amazing, sweet boy!” You applaud him. “Who’s Mommy’s little champion?”
Ken coos and stretches his hands towards you. Because despite not realizing he just won you bragging rights for the foreseeable future, he understand his mom’s proud of him.
After returning Ken to your chest for a loving kiss attack, you notice Jungkook still on his knees with a completely dejected expression. Kai’s just ahead of him, rolling on his tummy while pulling at the playmat.
“Don't look so down, baby.” His gaze shifts to you with the fury of a thousand suns. “At least you lost because your son loves you so much.”
He tsks.
“There’s no place for love in competition, Bambi.”
Kai has impeccable timing when he finally crawls to Jungkook, which instantly wipes away his sour face. It’s impossible for him to resist one of his precious babies gesturing for him. Hence why Kai receives a consolation prize of being aggressively snuggled by his dad.
“What was that again?”
Jungkook shoots you another melodramatic glare that you respond to by blowing him some kisses. His face automatically burns bright pink, as though you don’t kiss him multiple times a day, but you still feel prideful regardless.
The twins are more than ready for their afternoon nap after all the fun, so you and Jungkook head upstairs together. Once they’re both tucked into their respective cribs, your husband takes your hand to lead back to the first floor.
It’s serene with the boys asleep, especially since you’re not alone like usual.
Maybe it’s weird, but you really love holding Jungkook’s hand. They’re much bigger than yours, but his fingers still fit perfectly in between your own somehow. His hands are always warm and soft, and he also has a habit of squeezing every few minutes as a reminder that he’s there.
You remember as kids, your parents would constantly tell you two to hold hands while crossing the street or among big crowds. Back then, Jungkook would envelope your entire hand in a firm grip so you wouldn’t lose each other.
He’s always been so protective of you and it wasn’t until you got older that you realized all the little things. If you were walking along a sidewalk together, he’d stand on the side closest to the road. In packed spaces, his hand would hover near your lower back. On a night out if you chose to separate, he’d ensure you’re at least still in his line of sight.
It’s just second nature to him, and although you’re not physically intimidating enough to return the favor, you like to think you’ve done the same for him emotionally over the years. Maybe you can’t protect him, but you’re able to protect his heart.
Your little reverie causes you to miss Jungkook guiding you across the room near the stereo beside your TV. It isn’t until you hear music floating through the air that your eyebrows perk up in a silent question.
“Don’t worry, I know Naru gets out of school soon.”
“Then…”
He smirks and commandeers your other hand before walking backwards to a spot with more space.
“You know, sometimes I feel sad we never got to be a couple before having kids,” Jungkook confesses. “There’s a lot of stuff we didn’t get the opportunity to do, so whenever we do have alone time together, I wanna make the most of it.”
“And how do you propose we do that?”
“I don’t know.” An obvious lie given the mischievous smile on his face. “Maybe by dancing around the living room?”
You two often grab your kids for a rhythmic twirl around the house, but it’s been quite a while since you did so by yourselves.
“You’re so cute when you’re being romantic, baby,” you tell him.
Since you aren’t protesting the idea, Jungkook pulls you close and secures your waist with one arm so you can dance together to the slow beat of the music. Your free hand moves to his shoulder as he lifts your intertwined fingers into the proper position.
“So I’m not cute all the time?”
He raises a challenging eyebrow, causing you to snicker.
“You’re everything all the time.” Your fingers resting on his shoulder slide into his hair and he immediately smiles at the familiar touch. “Cute, cool, charismatic, gorgeous, sexy. You name it.”
“Wow, you must really love me,” he remarks.
Similar to your wedding day, Jungkook lets go to spin you under his arm before guiding you back in place. You continue swaying along to the song, although you’re both much more focused on each other than dancing.
“I’m so in love with you it’s scary.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s so scary about it?”
Your fingertips scratch his scalp and elicit a low, content hum while he awaits your response.
“Because it’s overwhelming,” you admit. “And because I’d do anything for you without a second thought.”
Jungkook pensively nods.
“It’s like that for me, too.” As if to show you with actions instead of words, he tugs you closer until your chests brush and uses his arm to anchor you there. “Sometimes I think about you and I worry my heart will beat right out of my ribcage.” You giggle as a light blush spreads across your cheeks. “And I honestly feel a little crazy.”
“What? Why?”
His tongue hits the roof of his mouth.
“All the guys at work talk about their wives like marriage is a chore,” he explains. “Sure, they might not openly talk bad about them, but their feelings are clear based on their tone and word choice.” He shakes his head. “Then there’s me, who genuinely can’t shut up about you.” His candor makes you chuckle again. “I’m serious, Bams. I’m so fucking obsessed with you I think something might actually be wrong with me.”
You burst into a fit of giggles, but you also know he’s being completely honest.
“Koo, there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“But I don’t understand how I can be the only person who’s still just as in love after all these years, when other people’s ‘honeymoon’ phases don’t last this long.”
“Well, you’re not the only one,” you correct him.
All the tension in Jungkook’s features disappears as a brilliant smile takes it’s place.
“Of course. How could I forget?”
“I don’t know.” You flash him a playful grin. “But it better not happen again.”
Instead of replying, he releases you for another twirl, but rather than bringing you back into his arms, he dips you across his body after.
“Or what?”
Your eyes are stuck on each other, causing you to almost forget you’re in your living room and not somewhere only the two of you exist.
“Or I’ll have to remind you just how obsessed I am with you in return.”
Jungkook’s smile widens.
“Promise?”
In an instant, he effortlessly leads you back to your feet before giving your hand a gentle kiss and bowing as if it was a formal dance. Except the charade doesn’t last long because Jungkook seemingly gets an urge he can’t resist and surges forward for a kiss.
His hands cradle your face while yours sneak around his back to pull him closer. Despite this being at least your one billionth kiss, it always feels like the first because Jungkook kisses you with so much ardor and devotion it steals your breath. Even when the lip lock is short and sweet.
Which isn’t exactly how you’d describe this one.
As your lips mold into one, he gracefully walks you backwards until your spine meets a hard surface. The sound of you bumping into the wall makes you both snicker before your tongues wrap around each other inside your mouth.
Unfortunately, your alarm to pick up Naru goes off before you’re able to do anything else. Jungkook groans and presses his forehead against your own while you sigh in defeat.
“I’m sorry, my love,” you lament. “We can pick up where we left off later?”
He shakes his head and stands to his full height, letting his hands drag along your curves until he squeezes your hips and drops them.
“If we get a chance,” he counters. Your face falls, but Jungkook reaches out to caress your cheek. “I’m not upset, baby. I just miss taking my time with you. I can’t even remember the last time I ate you out or… kissed you for longer than a minute.”
Unlike when it was just Naru, you can’t call up your parents or friends to babysit for the evening or weekend. Looking after three kids, especially two under two, is nothing like watching one. Nowadays you can only ship them off to someone’s house during important events or emergencies.
Not to say your friends and family aren’t still extremely helpful. You genuinely don’t know what you’d do without them, but you aren’t the only couple with kids anymore so you have to handle a lot more on your own.
Besides Jihyo and Namjoon recently welcoming their beautiful little girl, Yoongi and Jimin adopted a two year old boy and are doubly busy planning their wedding. Seokjin just proposed to his girlfriend and both Tzuyu and Nayeon have moved in with their partners. Mina hasn’t told anyone besides you, but she found out she’s pregnant with her and Tae’s second child. Hoseok and Yujin are still going strong and although Chaewon started seeing someone a couple months ago, Eunchae’s still looking for the right person.
Unfortunately, no matter how crazy you and Jungkook still are about each other after all these years, life often moves faster than you want it to. It feels like just yesterday everyone in your friend group was single and now half of you have kids.
It’s like you told Jungkook a few weeks ago, everything’s new and you’re the first couple out of your friends to send their child to school. But you’re confident this dry spell won’t last forever and hopefully your return to normalcy happens sooner rather than later.
“I know.” You catch Jungkook’s hand on your cheek to lace your fingers together. “Maybe we can find some time this weekend?”
Even though he’s obviously skeptical, he smiles and nods.
It’s the first time you’re able to pick up Naru without the twins in tow, allowing you to finally meet some of the parents of the kids she always talks about in her class.
Your routine becomes a lot easier after that. Mornings are still a mad dash, but having Jungkook home in the afternoon relieves even more stress than originally anticipated. Not only does it mean you can leave without hauling the twins along, but he’s even able to start dinner and take care of some chores depending on his workload.
Now you’re finally acquainted with all the other parents and you’ve gotten fairly close with a few of them. Naru being friends with their children also helps. You don’t know what you’d do if she got close with kids whose parents you didn’t like.
The person you get along with the most is Seojun, the father of the little girl Naru calls her “BFF.” He’s chill like you and has a similar sense of humor, so you poke fun at the more uptight parents together. For the past month you’ve stood side by side to wait for your daughters to exit, along with some other easygoing moms and dads.
Today’s a special occasion because Jungkook and the twins are accompanying you to the school. You’re all heading to your parents’ house for dinner and you need to leave right away to avoid being late.
Jungkook stays in the car with the boys while you wait for Naru outside the classroom doors like normal. After giving him a quick kiss and crossing the street from the parking lot, you join your usual group on the sidewalk.
“Afternoon,” Seojun greets you.
“Howdy.”
“It looks like you’ve got an entourage today,” one of the moms comments.
Your eyes flit back to the car where you see Jungkook turned around playing with the twins.
“Yeah, we’ve got a fun night with the grandparents ahead of us,” you explain.
“Do they get along? Your in-laws and your folks?” Seojun asks.
The question almost makes you laugh.
“Oh, yeah. Our moms were college roommates and our dads were already friends when they met them. Not to mention, they’re neighbors.”
Everyone chuckles at the cute backstory, but Seojun clicks his tongue once the laughter dies down.
“You’re lucky. I’ve never even met my in-laws because the relationship’s so bad.”
You frown.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be,” he replies with a wave of his hand. “We don’t need anyone like them in our lives, anyway.”
It’s certainly a great mindset to have, even if you still can’t help but feel bad.
The conversation shifts to more small talk as you all wait for your kids. You and Seojun exchange your regular jokes and chitchat until Naru finally emerges from the double doors holding hands with none other than Seojun’s daughter, Jia.
“Hey, little bug,” you call to her.
Her already large smile widens to reveal the small space where her first tooth fell out not too long ago. The older she gets, the more she looks like Jungkook did at her age, down to the adorable dimple in her cheek. It makes denying her anything nearly impossible, just as it is with your husband.
“Hi, Mommy!” Naru replies.
“Dada!” Jia cheers.
They drop each other’s hand in order to run at you two and you both bend down at the same time to haul your girls into your arms.
“Did you have a good day at school today, little lady?” Seojun questions his daughter.
“Mmhm. We learned all about colors!”
“And about why everyone’s eyes see different ones,” Naru adds.
Jia vehemently nods in agreement.
“Wow,” you comment. “You know what might be fun later?” Your daughter’s eyes go wide while awaiting your explanation. “You can practice by pointing out all the colors in Daddy’s tattoos.”
Naru gasps before rapidly clapping her hands.
“Let’s do it, let’s do it!”
“Your daddy has tattoos?” Jia asks in wonder.
“Yup. A whole bunch of ‘em right here.”
She raises her right arm and slides her other hand up towards her shoulder to show Jia.
“Mine does, too, but his are all over.”
You and Seojun snicker at their conversation before informing the girls it’s time to go and wishing one another goodbye. He mentions he’ll text you about setting up a playdate soon and you holler an affirmative response over your shoulder as you cross the street with Naru.
By the time you reach the car, Jungkook’s leaning on the passenger side door to properly greet you both. Naru, who you put down once you’re in the parking lot, bolts straight into his awaiting arms.
“There’s my princess,” Jungkook remarks while lifting her onto his hip. She’s getting bigger everyday and you know sooner or later neither of you will be able to pick her up, so you’re trying to savor the time you have left. “How are you doing?”
“Good. Mommy said I can use your tattoos to practice learning about colors,” she tells him.
“Of course, you can. But only if you finish eating all your dinner tonight. You remember we’re going to grandma and grandpa’s, right?” She nods. “Good girl.”
Jungkook kisses her head before strapping her into the open car seat while you hop in the driver’s side. He joins you a second later, but unlike usual, he doesn’t take your hand or lean over to kiss your cheek.
You don’t pay it too much attention since you know it’s been a long week and you still have the entire evening ahead of you. The only issue is, his weird behavior doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t necessarily avoid your touch, but he isn’t welcoming it, either.
Before, during, and after dinner you notice multiple moments when he does something totally opposite from normal. When you ask him to grab a spoon so you can help taste test for your mom, he doesn’t kiss the top of your head as he so often does. Then at the table, his hand never lands on your thigh despite him always wanting to touch you.
By the time you’re done with the dishes, you’re spiraling too much to ignore it any longer and ask him to join you in your childhood bedroom while the kids play with your parents.
After shutting the door behind you, you wait with your arms crossed as Jungkook peruses the room.
“I can’t remember the last time I was in here,” he notes.
“What’s going on with you?”
He stops mapping the walls to face you, but his expression’s unreadable.
“Nothing.”
“Koo,” you flatly counter.
“I’m serious, Bambi.”
You step closer and the way he ever so slightly recoils reveals everything you need to know.
“I’m sorry, since when do we lie to each other?”
Jungkook shakes his head.
“That’s not what I’m doing,” he defends.
“Then what are you doing?”
His jaw ticks and he clears his throat as his eyes glance everywhere but at you. But after a lingering breath, he finally returns his gaze to your face.
“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?”
A single eyebrow flies up your forehead before you scoff.
“Wait, have you been giving me the cold shoulder because you’re jealous?”
“No!”
You know Jungkook well enough to see right through him, and even if you didn’t, the instant denial makes his feelings obvious.
“He’s Jia’s dad. You know, the one Naru really likes,” you answer. “And the parent I get along with the most. We talk everyday before pick up.”
“I can tell. You guys seemed pretty friendly with each other,” Jungkook declares while crossing his arms and turning his body away from you.
“Are you being serious right now?” When he doesn’t respond, you take matters into your own hands by stomping over until you’re face to face again. “You do realize this was the whole point of you working from home, right? So I could get to know the other parents.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t expect you to get close with some random man.”
Your eyes nearly roll right out of your head.
“Random man? He’s our daughter’s friend’s dad!”
“I don’t care, Bams!” For the first time since you came up here, Jungkook’s emotions are evident in his features. The hurt, longing, and even deep green envy. “I realized today you have a whole other world I’m not a part of. A different friend group, new inside jokes… and I’m just an outsider.”
All your defenses drop when you hear his explanation. It never occurred to you Jungkook might feel left out as the working parent and now your heart aches.
“Baby, you’re not an outsider, you just haven’t had a chance to meet everyone yet.”
He shakes his head again.
“You don’t get it.”
“Then explain it to me.”
You’re staring too intensely to shy away, even though that’s clearly his desire. Thankfully, his arms soon unravel before he pushes his hair back with both hands.
“I just miss you so fucking much, baby,” he confesses.
His answer causes your eyebrows to pinch together.
“Miss me? I know our sex life’s been a little dry, but I’m right here, Koo.”
“No, not like that.” You gesture for him to elaborate, but the tension in his face and rigidness of his posture tells you he doesn’t fully know how. “You may be here in front of me, but you feel so far away.” He sighs heavily and combs through his hair again. “Every night you tell me about your day, but your stories are full of names I don’t recognize and moments I can’t relate to. Even if I grabbed Naru from school instead, it’s not about knowing those people, it’s about knowing you.”
“You know me better than anyone,” you argue.
“Yeah, I do.” His hand grazes your arm, but he doesn’t actually grab you yet. “Which is why it broke my fucking heart to see you laughing with someone else. To have to sit in the car while you banter with a guy whose name I’ve never heard before.”
It’s still too difficult to piece together his feelings. You hear him, but you aren’t sure how to interpret what he’s saying.
“I wasn’t hiding anything from you, if that’s what you’re implying.”
Another head shake.
“I’m not accusing you of anything, Bams. I was jealous. I am jealous. Just not in the way you think.” His fingers finally coil around your arm and you release a deep sigh of relief you didn’t even know was being held hostage. “I know you as the mom who spends hours mixing different paints together to make the perfect shade of pink, who pauses and replays movie scenes a hundred times because they make her daughter laugh, and who wakes up early on weekends just to cook her kids’ favorite breakfast foods.”
“Right…”
He chuckles before continuing, unable to hide his endearment even in serious moments.
“But that guy knows you as the mom who cracks jokes about all the stupid shit other parents do, who drinks a fresh cup of coffee in the afternoon so she has enough energy for the evening, and who signs up for PTO bake sales without a lick of baking experience.”
Ohhh. Now you get it.
Jungkook isn’t jealous because he thinks you’ll cheat, which is good because that’s absolutely ludicrous. He’s jealous someone knows a side of you he’s yet to witness.
School and home are two entirely different realms and other than a couple exceptions, Jungkook’s never crossed the divide between them. It’s like you’re playing a video game together and you unlocked a new map, but he’s still a couple levels behind and isn’t able to explore it with you.
“That’s true,” you state. “The thing is, everyone sees a different side of me. I don’t act the same way with Jihyo and the girls as I do with our guy friends. My mom, dad, and even our kids all experience different versions. Everyone but you.” Your hands encompass his free one so you can pull him closer. “You’re the only person who knows every side, angle, and edge of who I am. No one else gets to see my puzzle pieces put together. You have all of me, Jungkook, and you always have.”
His eyes turn into miniature oasis, prettier than any night sky you’ve ever witnessed. You watch his mouth open and close a few times like a fish out of water, leading you to save him a reply by pressing your lips to his own.
He hums at the initial spark of affection; something that sounds like a mixture of pleasant surprise and immense relief. The hand on your arm glides upwards until he’s holding the side of your face as you wind yourself around his neck and force your chests together.
You’re both needy after months of never having enough time to worship each other like you want, but even so, neither of you turn the kiss into something more. It’s gentle and soft, albeit contrary to Jungkook’s fingertips on your skin. His mouth may be moving in leisurely harmony with yours, but his grip on both your head and waist feels desperate.
Once you have to break for air, his arm circles your back to keep you close as his lips move to your cheek and then your temple.
“Thank you,” he whispers. “I think I really need to hear that.”
A big smile causes your eyes to crinkle in the corners.
“So you’ll stop ignoring me now?”
Jungkook sighs before a matching grin forms on his lips.
“Yes. I don’t… I don’t know what I was thinking. I just felt so hurt and like… like I was losing you.”
“Koo, that’ll never happen,” you assure him.
“I know, Bambi. I don’t mean it in a literal sense.” He adjusts his hand to cradle your jaw so his thumb can run back and forth across your cheekbone. “I’m so selfish when it comes to you, and I always have been. It doesn’t help that Naru starting school makes time feel like it’s moving at the speed of light. I just can’t shake the feeling of losing control no matter how hard I try.”
You chuckle upon realizing where his brain’s at.
“You don’t like having to share us with other people.”
It’s clear you’re right on the money when his lips curl into a lopsided smirk.
“Not at all.”
His immediate affirmation makes you both giggle, which helps break the tension still lingering in the room.
“I would love to say something to make you feel better, but you’re going to have to share me, Naru, and the boys with plenty of people over the years. I mean, you’ll eventually have to give Naru away at her wedding.”
“Woah, hey! Why are you bringing that up? I’ve still got time to prepare myself for that.”
He’s so full of love you can nearly feel the excess seeping into your own skin. You’ve known Jungkook your whole life, so you understand his possessiveness isn’t from a place of control or ownership, but how huge his heart is.
“Would it help if I told you Naru still thinks boys are absolutely disgusting?”
Unsurprisingly, the light in his eyes flickers alive.
“She does?” You nod. “Well, what about you, huh? What’s your opinion on boys?”
It’s obvious he’s alluding to Seojun. Because even though he knows deep down there’s no reason to be jealous, hearing you reaffirm your loyalty always eases his mind.
“Can I show you something?”
Jungkook’s face scrunches in confusion, but he still nods and peers over your shoulder when you pull your phone from your pocket.
A minute later, you lift the device up so he can clearly see the photo on the screen.
“Who are they?” He asks while wagging his finger at the three people in the picture.
You quietly chuckle under your breath.
Just as Jia described earlier, the other man in the photo has visible tattoos on both arms, one of which is resting on Seojun’s shoulders.
“That is my new friend Seojun, his daughter Jia, and his husband Hyungsik.”
Poor Jungkook’s left sputtering as he searches for an adequate response, causing you to snicker.
“Well, he could be bi,” he poses.
All you have to do is send him a blank, vexed expression for him to smile and try pacifying you with loving pecks. As always, feeling his lips pepper your skin in warmth makes you squeal and melt into his embrace.
You two rarely have conversations like this and yet you navigate them like pros every time. It’s undoubtedly because of the many years of friendship between you, but you’re grateful nonetheless. You don’t even know what a relationship without all the trust, compassion, and understanding you and Jungkook have for each other would look like.
Thankfully, you’ll never have to find out.
After he’s done painting you in affection, you lead him back downstairs by the hand, where your kids and all four parents are waiting for you.
A Disney movie is already set up on the TV, so you and Jungkook slip between Naru and the twins, who are each sitting on your mothers’ laps. Once everyone’s comfortably cuddling on the couch, your dad presses play while Jungkook’s dad turns off the overhead lights.
You honestly don’t pay much attention to the film, too enamored by how warm and cozy the room feels with your entire family together. Naru’s head is resting on your lap as your fingers comb through her hair and your opposite hand is being cradled by Kai. Similarly, Jungkook’s playing with Ken’s short, black locks while giving Naru an absentminded foot rub. The scene is bookended by both sets of parents, who are curled up like teens in love.
At one point you turn towards Jungkook, triggering him to follow suit. As soon as you catch one another’s gaze, his head flops onto the backrest with sparkling eyes full of admiration. His reverence makes you blush, although he can’t see it in the dim light.
“I’m sorry,” he mouths to you.
An apology isn’t necessary, and you’re both aware of that, but you still appreciate the gesture.
“Me, too,” you mime in response.
His hand stretches across the back of the couch to reach you, momentarily leaving Naru without her massage. He doesn’t do anything special, merely brushes his knuckles along your cheek, and yet your heartbeat speeds up.
Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about Jungkook’s feelings regarding this new chapter of your lives, but you still do your best to show him nothing's changed besides a busy schedule. The easy answer would be alternating who picks up Naru from school, but even though he’s home in the afternoons, he still has to work.
Things return to their regular rhythm after that night. You become even more familiar with your fellow parents and set up multiple playdates for Naru, she makes plenty of friends who she always raves about in the evenings, and the twins learn and grow bigger everyday.
The only issue still at large is your sex life. You two do manage to find time amongst the chaos, but it’s either short and sweet or hard and fast.
You totally understand what Jungkook meant by missing you when you’re right here. It’s been over a month since the last time any foreplay was involved and even longer than that since you actually got naked to have sex.
Alas, you’re both on the same page about wanting to get your old routine back as soon as you have the chance.
Speaking of, it’s easy to fall into a comfortable candance when life’s going well. Hence why checking the calendar lately has totally slipped your mind. Not the one of events for Naru’s school or the twins’ doctor visits, but the very familiar, monthly period tracker on your phone.
As if history’s repeating itself, you don’t realize until you’re restocking the bathroom one evening. Your fingers glide down the cabinet to double check all the supplies and upon landing on a tampon box, you instantly freeze.
When was the last time you got your period?
You whip out your phone to search the tracking app you use, but when you look at last month, it’s blank.
Contrary to your insides coiling around each other, you start laughing to yourself. The volume’s low at first, but the longer your mind reels with all the possibilities, you cackle louder and louder until you sound like an insane person.
“No, no, no, no,” you chant under your breath. “This isn’t fucking happening. Not again.”
One child overpowering your birth control was already bad luck, so there’s no chance in hell another one managed to sneak past your impeccably placed IUD.
God, you knew you should’ve urged Jungkook to get snipped right after the twins were born instead of waiting.
No, it’s important to stay calm. A missed period doesn’t automatically mean you’re pregnant. All you need to do is run to the corner store for a few tests to find out.
Your legs feel unstable as you exit the bathroom and of course, Jungkook notices your strange demeanor when you pass him to reach the front door.
“Bams?”
The kids are all asleep already, so he’s just lounging with Bam and Usagi on the couch.
“I’m heading out for a few items, you need anything?”
Before you’re even able to slip your shoes on, Jungkook’s fingers stop you by grabbing ahold of your wrist.
“Woah there.” He turns you around and his suspicious expression tells you any attempts to sneak out will be useless. “What do you need from the store that’s so urgent?”
“Just some toiletries. It’s no big deal,” you answer as nonchalantly as possible.
Obviously your best friend of over thirty years doesn’t buy your little act. His head tilts and his tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek as he surveys your face for a proper explanation.
“Bullshit,” he accuses.
“Why would I lie, baby?”
“I don’t know. Why would you?”
You don’t want to freak him out before you know anything, but you’re also certain he won’t let go until you reveal your true intentions.
“Please, Koo, I’ll explain as soon as I’m home.”
He shakes his head.
“I’m not letting you out of the house looking like you’re on the run from a serial killer.”
Well, it was worth a shot. Without another choice, you inhale and stare into his eyes.
“My period’s late,” you announce.
A singular beat passes before Jungkook’s eyes expand and his mouth drops open. After another weighted moment, he releases your arm to run his fingers through his hair while a disbelieving chuckle escapes his parted lips.
“You think you’re pregnant?”
You shrug.
“I’m not sure. That’s why I have to go grab a test.”
“That’s… impossible. I was there when they stuck that birth control device in you, okay? It’s way up there.”
“I know. I was there, too,” you retort. “But if you remember, your magical dick just loves putting babies in me.”
Jungkook frowns and steps closer to rest his hands on your biceps.
“You’re not pregnant, Bambi,” he assures you.
“I better not be or I will fucking kill you, Jeon Jungkook.”
Even when you’re threatening his life, he still smiles at you like you’re all he sees.
“Then who will help you take care of our four kids?”
“Ahh, God.”
You feign a gagging sound, but the idea genuinely sets your nerves ablaze. There’s no way you can handle having another child right now, or ever. You’re both already struggling to keep up with everything as is.
“Listen.” He gently grasps your chin to bring your attention back. “Whatever happens, whatever the result is, we’ll be okay. I promise, baby.”
His finger swipes away a stray tear before you even register one falling.
Rather than wasting more time on “what-if,” you nod assuredly and give him a quick kiss before slipping out the door.
You spend the entire drive to and from the store praying this is all just some big, bodily misunderstanding. According to your calendar, you’re only about a week and half late, so it could easily be for another reason. Such as stress, something you’re certainly not lacking.
Upon your return, three heads rise to attention at the exact same time. Bam, who’s always on guard duty, Jungkook, looking as nervous as ever, and Usagi, who immediately relaxes once she realizes it’s you.
Jungkook offers to join you, but you order him to stay put until he hears the timer go off. It’s for his own safety, really, because if you are pregnant, you may strangle him.
Just like five years ago, you pee on a multitude of pregnancy tests and then wait with bated breath for three minutes to pass. You try not to agonize over the outcome, but you honestly might be more nervous this time than back then.
When your phone alarm finally rings, you inhale deeply before checking all the tests lined up along your counter. The results carry the weight of an entire elephant and your head drops forward as you slowly exhale. In the midst of your own mental processing, Jungkook throws the door open so he can find out as well.
“Bambi?” He nervously calls for you.
Following a loud sigh, you grab the three little fortune tellers and hold them up for him to see.
“Negative,” you declare with a relieved smile.
“Oh, thank fuck.” The next thing you know, Jungkook’s hoisting you in the air by your waist. “I’ve never been so happy to see a negative test in my life!”
Now that you know nothing’s cooking in your oven, you giggle as he swishes you back and forth in little semi-circles.
“I was so fucking terrified.”
Jungkook sighs and buries his face in your neck.
“Me, too.” Although your feet meet the floor again, you two stay wrapped up in one another. “I almost lost you last time. I can’t imagine ever watching you go through that again.”
Even more than a year later, you know how much that day still haunts him. It doesn’t matter that everything turned out fine; Jungkook’s so protective just the memory of you passing out sends chills down his spine.
When you eventually untangle from each other’s embrace, a sense of overwhelming relief is evident on both your faces. In a perfect world, you’d be more than willing to pop out kids until you can’t anymore, but unfortunately, three is all you’re able to handle.
“Koo.”
“Yes, my love?”
He’s always sporting the most doting, sweet expressions, which is why threats work wonders on him.
“If you don’t call your doctor on Monday, I’ll castrate you myself.”
Of course, he merely snickers before pecking your cheek.
“Consider it done.”
Besides you having to take care of Jungkook and force him to keep his hands to himself for a full six weeks to ensure the procedure actually works, that heart attack-inducing incident comes and goes like anything else.
Before you even realize, the end of the school year’s fast approaching and you couldn’t be happier. Summertime means going back to sleeping in and spending all day with your precious children. Not to mention the boys turn two soon.
Alas, there are still plenty of events to celebrate school coming to a close, like the year-end recital the kids put on for all the parents. It’s a talent show, for lack of a better term, and your daughter’s part of the group who’s chosen to do a ballet dance.
Naru’s actually pretty good, if what you’ve seen of her practicing is anything to go by. She’s also extremely excited about showing off her new skill to you, Jungkook, and her grandparents. And like the supportive mom you are, you obviously volunteered to help with the event.
Along with the actual performance, there’s a rehearsal the night before parents are encouraged to attend.
Unfortunately, Jungkook hasn’t been able to work from home for the last few weeks because of a new game launching soon, so the twins are at Chaewon’s house while you hand out snacks and water at the rehearsal. He mentioned he’ll try to make it tonight, but sometimes duty calls.
You’re currently passing out bags of trail mix and mini water bottles to students and parents alike. It’s boring, but you love seeing the kids in all their different costumes.
During a lull in customers at your station, you check your phone for an update from Chaewon, who just sent an adorable picture of her and the boys at a park.
In the middle of typing your reply, you hear a quiet gasp from the women at the other table, but you’re too focused to glance up. You quickly realize the sound is because they’re gawking at someone who just walked in, based on the conversation you overhear.
“Whose dad is that?” Someone whispers.
“I don’t know, I’ve never seen him before.”
“More importantly, is he a single dad?”
You chuckle at their gossip, but once you hear the man in question’s voice, your heart drops.
“Hi, is this where the preschool rehearsal is?”
That’s when you realize the person they’re talking about is your person. Which is the only downside to having a husband so handsome he’s probably a k-pop idol in another life.
“It is. Can we help you find a certain someone?”
Upon finally observing the interaction, you find the three women looking positively enamored with Jungkook, and the one who just spoke is literally twirling her hair like a schoolgirl. You’re also fairly certain one of them is married.
To make matters worse, he looks fucking delectable. He came straight from work so he’s in slacks and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. You’ll have to scold him afterwards because he knows those gorgeous, veiny forearms are for your eyes only.
Although, that’s a minimal betrayal compared to how he’s graciously smiling back at the women behind the table. You know he’s just being polite, but you can’t help how your feral lady-brain reacts whenever people encroach on what’s yours.
Which, unfortunately, happens often with a husband as good looking as Jungkook.
“Honey,” you call before he has a chance to respond to the question.
His head turns in your direction as his smile grows exponentially, satisfying the green demon in your chest.
“There you are, beautiful!”
With a pep in your step, you scurry out from behind the table to join him. His arm automatically opens wide for you and once you’re tucked perfectly by his side, he wraps the limb around your waist.
“I wasn’t expecting you to come.”
“I know. Thought I’d surprise my girls,” he responds with a kiss on your cheek.
“Y/N,” one of the women grabs your attention. “This is your husband?”
It might be a little petty for your age, but you’re absolutely riddled with pride when you examine the three surprised faces ahead of you.
“Yeah! Ladies, meet Naru’s dad, Jungkook.”
He waves with his free hand and all three of them mirror the gesture like they’re in a trance.
“Wait, your husband as in your childhood best friend turned husband?” Another one asks.
You nod.
“Oh,” the final woman chirps. “If only we were all lucky enough to have a built-in perfect match, huh?”
“I know, right?” Jungkook chimes in while admiring you beside him. “I am without a doubt the luckiest man alive.”
It’s obvious she was referring to you being lucky and you adore seeing all their eyes widen when Jungkook flips the script.
But at the same time, his ardent gaze is causing you to blush like a maniac, so you retaliate by lightly elbowing his side. He giggles at your faux annoyance before tightening his hold, which you certainly don’t mind. You’ll never complain about showing him and your affection for each other off, especially to women like them.
“Well, we should probably go find Naru before it’s her turn,” you announce. “Would one of you mind taking my place over there?”
One of them volunteers as you take Jungkook’s hand to lead him into the auditorium. Even while strolling away, you sense their eyes following you. It’s clear Jungkook can tell as well, based on how he snickers a moment later.
“You weren’t kidding about women and rolled up sleeves. What’s with that?”
You chuckle and glance back at him over your shoulder.
“It isn’t the sleeves, Koo. You’re fucking sex on legs.”
It’s his turn to glow bright as a tomato and he even hides his face in your shoulder while you head further into the room together. It isn’t often you get to make him blush in return, so you feel especially satisfied.
The rehearsal goes off without a hitch and it was helpful because now you’re fully aware what Naru needs for tomorrow. So just before tucking her into bed, you place her costume and other essentials on her dresser to ensure nothing’s forgotten.
Jungkook’s already sitting on the edge of her bed to kiss her goodnight and you join him once everything’s laid out.
“You excited about the recital, bug?” You ask her.
“Yes! I can’t wait for you guys to see it,” she exclaims. “I just wish all my aunts and uncles could come, too.”
The school only gave each family six tickets, not including other children, so none of your friends are able to attend.
“I know, but we’ll video your performance so they can watch it later.”
She giggles and enthusiastically kicks her feet, making you both smile from ear to ear.
“Alright, princess, you need lots of rest if you’re going to do a good job tomorrow, right?” Jungkook suggests.
Naru nods while shimmying under the blankets.
“Wait, are you sure you’ll be there, Daddy? You’ve been away at work a lot.”
He frowns at the question.
“Of course, I will. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He leans in to kiss her forehead. “And I promise to sit as close to the stage as possible.”
Your little girl beams and reaches up to hug him before doing the same to you and plopping back into bed. You and Jungkook leave after telling her you love her, which she parrots as you shut off the lights. The twins were tucked in hours ago, so you two sneak away to your bedroom downstairs once you’re sure they’re all set for the evening.
The next day’s a whirlwind, but thankfully your parents are there to help with the twins while you triple check that Naru has everything she needs.
Jungkook will have to meet you there because of work, so the eight of you head to the school together. After dropping Naru off with her teacher, you find seats in the auditorium and text him the row number. The problem is, his work’s at least forty five minutes away and when you check his location shortly before the recital’s supposed to start, it shows him still at the office.
His mom shoots you a worrying glance as the lights go down, but Naru’s group doesn’t perform until the end, so you’re hopeful he’ll make it in time.
You spend the entire show anxiously gnawing on your lip and surveying the entrances to see if he snuck in the back since you can’t check your phone. Jungkook doesn’t break promises, and he certainly doesn’t miss important moments like this. Even though he was at work, you’re worried something else is keeping him from being here.
Once it’s time for Naru’s performance, you attempt to focus on her, but when her face falls after realizing Jungkook isn’t sitting with the rest of you, it absolutely shatters your heart.
The lights come on at the end of the show and all five of you scope the auditorium just in case, but you’re certain he isn’t sitting anywhere else. Which is doubly verified when you look at your phone again to see his location hasn’t moved.
Both your mom’s send you hopeful expressions that maybe you’re all wrong, but after a single head shake, their eyes drop to the floor. Truthfully, your own disappointment doesn’t matter in the slightest. It’s the look on your daughter’s face you know is coming that terrifies you.
Everyone does their best to distract Naru when she first runs out from backstage to give you all hugs and accept the flower bouquets each of you brought. But it isn’t long before her eyes flicker between your faces and begin to water as she looks to you for an explanation.
You bend down to her height and pet her hair that’s slicked back in a ballerina bun to match her leotard and tutu. Even before you open your mouth, it’s clear she knows what’s coming, and it makes your own eyes misty as well.
“I’m sorry, baby, Daddy couldn’t get out of work in time,” you tell her.
“But… but he promised,” she quietly counters.
“I know.”
She initially tries to be strong by nodding her head, but then she chokes on a harsh cry and collapses into your arms. You scoop her up and cradle her head so she can let out all her emotions into your shoulder. It kills you to hear her helpless sobs and hiccups, and it’s even more difficult to refrain from crying yourself.
Your dad drives you back so you can continue consoling Naru, who cries ceaselessly until she’s able to bear hug Bam once you arrive at home.
After wishing your dad goodbye, you put the twins to bed while Naru cuddles with her beloved pets. As much as you want to let her hug Bam and Usagi all night long, you know sleep will be beneficial for her broken heart.
Even though you manage to get her upstairs, she refuses to change out of her costume aside from the tutu so she can perform for Jungkook when comes home. You don’t fight her on it, but your chest aches at the thought of her still wanting him to see her dance even after letting her down.
Once she’s sound asleep, you flop onto the couch and hold Usagi close for some cuddles of your own. You’ve been so busy looking after Naru you haven’t really processed your own emotions. Although, there isn’t much to decode or decipher. You’re fucking angry. Which isn’t an emotion you’ve ever felt towards Jungkook.
Sure, your pregnancy hormones may have caused you to act a little crazy and sometimes you pretend to be mad or annoyed with him, but you’ve never actually been. You’ve never had a reason to be before tonight. There hasn’t been a single moment in the last thirty-something years when he’s disappointed or betrayed you.
You hear the door unlock downstairs and inhale a huge gulp of air while returning Usagi to the ground. It’s clear from his footsteps alone he’s dreading whatever’s waiting for him, but that doesn’t make you any less furious.
He unceremoniously enters the living room and you actually see a large flower arrangement before you see him. His eyes land on you sitting on the couch and he looks relieved at first. Until he notices the fire in your irises.
“Bamb —”
“I am not the person you need to be apologizing to,” you state as you stand.
“Baby, listen to me.”
“No!” You drag your fingers through your hair while your mind decides where to begin. “You looked our daughter in the eye and promised her you would be there.”
“I know, okay?” He responds across an exasperated sigh. “But we had to finish the game tonight in order to meet the deadline. My boss wouldn’t let us leave.”
“Aren’t you a VP? They couldn’t make an exception for you?”
“Maybe, but it wouldn’t have looked very good if I’d asked, Bams.”
You scoff and cross your arms over your chest at the same time Jungkook places the flowers on the coffee table so he can come closer, but you immediately take a matching step back. And you’re far too upset to care about his lips tilting down in response.
“We only get one shot at this, Jungkook. Naru won’t ever have another ‘first recital.’ So forgive me for not caring if it might've made you look bad.”
“Do you think I wanted to miss it? You think it wasn’t the only fucking thing on my mind the whole night?”
“I don’t care if it was because that doesn’t change you not being there when she needed you!” Before you can stop yourself, your eyes begin to water and your lip trembles. “You should’ve seen her face when she realized you weren’t in the audience. She cried the entire drive home. We couldn’t even take pictures because she was fucking inconsolable.”
Jungkook’s expression crumbles after hearing your words and soon enough, you both have tears on your waterline.
“I never…” He sniffles as a single droplet rolls down his cheek. “Baby, you know I’d never let her down if I had another choice. I just couldn’t be in two places at once.”
“You could’ve chosen to put her first. To put our family first,” you argue.
“I put us first every single day! That’s why I get up every morning and go to work. To provide for this family.”
“And what happens when providing for us starts to take precedence over watching our kids grow up?”
A heavy second passes before Jungkook’s head shakes.
“It was one night.”
Cue another scoff.
“Until it isn’t.”
“Bambi, you’ve known me your entire life. You know this isn’t the norm,” he counters.
“Exactly!” He looks confused, but the situation’s as clear as day to you. “I know you better than anyone and not once in more than thirty years have you ever let me down. I remember when you almost lost out on a scholarship to your dream college just because I got dumped and needed a shoulder to cry on. That’s why I’m so fucking terrified about what this means, Koo. Because if after three decades of never breaking a single promise, you could do something like this to our daughter, then maybe I don’t know you like I thought anymore.” His mouth drops open in shock while you wipe away the fresh tears on your cheeks. “I mean, after everything that’s happened this year it just feels like our whole world’s falling apart. Naru was in the hospital, for Christ’s sake. And then everything with her school; me not being able to handle it all and you having to work from home. I understand if you resent me for that. I’m sure I would if you couldn’t uphold your end of the bargain. Not to mention the stuff with Seojun and our fucking sex life that’s practically nonexistent. Also those women the other day. I know you could have anyone you want and I just can’t help feeling like maybe this is all because of me. Maybe you’re falling out of love with me or —”
“No, no, no. Stop right there,” Jungkook commands as he closes the gap between you and cups your face in his hands. “Don’t you ever suggest something like that. Do you hear me?” Your eyes only water more. “Tonight happened because I can be a fucking idiot sometimes. It’s my fault and mine alone. And my mistake has absolutely nothing to do with you, and more importantly, it has nothing to do with how much I love you. Because I do, Bams. I fall more in love with you every morning when I wake up. And I’ll love you more tomorrow than I do at this very moment. Nothing in the world matters to me more than you and our family. I don’t care what happened this year. I don’t care how hard it was or all the bullshit we had to deal with. I wouldn’t care if we never had sex again. I’d still love you more than anyone’s ever loved another person. Do I make myself clear?” Even though his grip on your head’s practically a vice, you manage to nod. “You’re everything to me. And nothing will ever change that. Nothing.”
You would love to reply to his grandiose proclamation, but you’re crying too hard to speak just yet. Of course, Jungkook’s already working tirelessly to swipe away the cascade of droplets on your face.
“It feels like everything’s changing and I’m so scared. I’ve never been mad at you before. I hate it. I don’t wanna feel like this,” you confess.
“But you should be mad at me,” Jungkook declares. “I fucked up. I should’ve done everything in my power to be there and instead I broke our baby’s heart. And even worse, I left you all alone to pick up the pieces.”
As your waterworks begin to ebb, he drops one of his hands to pull you closer by the small of your back. You don’t stop him, because no matter how angry you might be, he’ll always be your safe space.
“This was only year one, Koo. What if we aren’t a strong enough couple to make it through the other thirteen?”
He inhales while tucking your hair behind your ear and cradling your cheek again, using his thumb to soothe your flush skin.
“You’re right that this is just the beginning, but the school year’s about to be over and this is only our first fight. You really think we can’t withstand whatever else life might throw at us?”
You sniffle as a hint of a smile pulls at your lips.
“Okay. That’s… fair.”
An actual smile appears on Jungkook’s face before he uses his fingers to tilt your head up.
“I am so fucking sorry, baby. I swear, I’ll never let you or our kids down ever again.”
After a deep sigh, you shake your head.
“Like I said, I’m not the person you need to be saying that to.”
His eyes flicker towards the stairs.
“Is she awake?”
“No, but she only went to sleep about an hour ago.”
“May I?”
You nod in approval, leading Jungkook to kiss your forehead before you walk upstairs together. As he quietly enters Naru’s bedroom, you flip the light on and lean against the doorframe.
Her eyes begin adjusting to the influx of light before he sits down at her bedside and once she notices him, her entire face shines with joy.
“Daddy, you’re home!” She cheers while throwing her arms around his neck.
Jungkook returns the affection tenfold, hugging her tight and resting his hand on her head to keep her close.
“I’m here, baby.” His lips press to her temple. “I’m so sorry it wasn’t sooner.”
After they pull away from one another, the excitement slowly fades from Naru’s expression.
“What took you so long?”
“I couldn’t leave work in time. But Naru, that isn’t an excuse for missing your recital,” he explains. “I promised you I would be there, so it doesn’t matter why I wasn’t.” He takes her hands and squeezes them, making her smile again. “The thing is, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, dads included. They’re inevitable even if we don’t intend to do anything wrong, so although preventing mistakes is good, what we do afterwards is even more important.” Naru hums in acknowledgment. “Apologizing is the first step, but an apology doesn’t mean anything unless it’s followed by action. I broke a promise, so now I have to earn your trust back so you know I mean what I say. And that’ll take time, but I’m going to do everything I can to make it up to you, bug. I swear, you’ll never look out and not see me there supporting you ever again. Okay?”
She nods, but it’s along with a sniffle as she wipes away a stray tear.
“I was really, really sad when I couldn’t find you in the audience,” she admits.
“I know, princess. I’m so, so sorry. It won’t happen again.” He gently dries her cheeks with his sleeve. “But it’s alright if you don’t believe me yet. That’s why I have to prove it to you, and I will.” After her cries subside, Jungkook smiles and playfully tilts his head. “Can you forgive me?”
Naru mirrors his grin.
“Of course, Daddy.”
“Yeah?”
With another enthusiastic nod, she hugs him again. It leaves you with a massive smile of your own as you watch them with utmost affection. You knew Naru wouldn’t hold his tardiness against him, but it still warms your heart.
Following their hug, your daughter looks incredibly eager and you already know why.
“Can I show you my dance now?”
“Huh?”
That’s when Jungkook finally notices her outfit and realizes she’s in a leotard instead of pajamas.
“She wouldn’t let me do anything but take her tutu off,” you add from behind them.
He glances at you over his shoulder where you shake the pink tulle skirt to show it off.
“So, can I?” Naru asks again.
Jungkook fondly giggles and gives her a big, wet smooch on the cheek before gesturing towards the door.
“Go on, Mommy and I will meet you down there.”
Naru practically leaps out of bed and grabs her tutu from you on the way out so she’ll be ready for her impromptu performance.
In the meantime, Jungkook stands to join you near the door. There’s still an unnamed, heavy tension between you, but neither of you mention it.
“That was a really good apology,” you compliment him.
Per usual, he smirks and proudly clicks his tongue.
“I may not mess up often, but I always know how to fix it.”
“Hmm. I suppose it’s easy when you’re the best dad in the world.”
He shakes his head.
“No, I don’t think I’ve earned that particular title back just yet,” he remarks. “But then again, I don’t know if I’ll ever measure up compared to you.”
“I’m not —”
“Yes, you are.” Jungkook brushes your cheek with his knuckles, eliciting another smile before you can stop it. “You’re the perfect mom, the perfect wife, and the perfect woman. Always have been.”
You’re unable to counter the statement because he grabs your hand to lug you downstairs where Naru’s waiting with the music already queued on the TV. Jungkook plops on the couch for a front row seat, bringing you down beside him as your pets jump up to watch as well.
Despite it being a solo performance this time, Naru does an amazing job and it’s just as entertaining. Obviously, Jungkook loves every second, and he’s sporting the widest grin imaginable as his eyes twinkle with adoration.
When she finishes with a theatrical curtsy, you both pick individual flowers from the bouquet he brought home to toss in her direction.
“Brava!” You shout.
“Amazing! We want an encore!” Jungkook cheers.
Naru continues bowing as you throw compliments and roses alike until she eventually b-lines for Jungkook instead. He stands and effortlessly lifts her high above his head, followed by them hysterically giggling together while he spins her around in the air.
“Did you like it, Daddy?” She asks once he cradles her to his chest.
“Are you kidding? You’re a star, pretty girl!” The compliment causes Naru to squeal in delight as she rests her head on his shoulder and squeezes his neck. “I can’t wait to see you perform on stage one day. I’m sure it’ll be even better.”
“Me, too, Daddy.”
She looks perfectly cozy in her Jungkook’s arms, as always, but you can also tell how tired she is. He notices just after you, triggering a silent conversation that he’ll tuck her in again while you turn down the house.
“Don’t forget the pretty flowers Daddy bought you,” you remind her while handing over the arrangement.
Her eyes crinkle in the corners as she takes them and holds them close to her chest before Jungkook carries her back upstairs.
By the time he joins you in your master bedroom, you’ve already completed the majority of your nighttime routine.
“Did it take her a while to fall asleep?”
Jungkook shakes his head while leaning back against the closed door.
“No, I just stayed with her for a bit,” he explains.
“Good. There are only a few days left of school so I’d hate to mess up her sleep schedule now.”
You hear a responsive hum.
“Are we okay, babygirl?”
The question gives you pause because your brain, heart, and body are all saying different things.
“I want to be,” you eventually answer.
It stings to see Jungkook’s crestfallen expression and you’ll truly do anything to fix it, except you don’t know how after your conversation earlier. Sure, it’s clear your love’s still as strong as it’s always been, but that doesn’t automatically clear away the emotional rubble between you.
“Then just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
You aren’t sure what words to use, so you cross the room to hold his hands instead. He visibly relaxes when your fingers touch and even pulls you closer until you’re chest to chest.
“I don’t know what I need, Koo. I’m not mad anymore, but I still feel a divide between us.”
“I feel it, too,” he admits. “And we could probably talk for hours to solve it, but I might have a better idea.”
If you didn’t know him so well, you’d have to question what he means. Alas, the gleam in his eye and his arm hooking around your waist reveals his intentions without any explanation.
“Baby…”
“C’mon, Bams. We’ve never had makeup sex before.”
“Because we’ve never needed to,” you retort.
He smirks while tugging your body into his own.
“There’s a first time for everything.”
You affectionately roll your eyes.
“Then let’s also make it the last. Deal?”
“Deal.”
It’s barely left Jungkook’s mouth when he tightens his hold and hoists you into the air. You’re already well aware it’s your cue to wrap your limbs around him, even though you can’t recall the last time he carried you to bed like this.
Months have passed with nothing but speedy rendezvous, so makeup sex or not, you’re thankful about having time to be together without any responsibilities on the horizon.
Your back meets the mattress as Jungkook gently lays you down in the center of the bed so he can crawl over you. He always looks so handsome above you, the overhead light creating a hazy glow around him. His honey skin, striking features, and obsidian hair are a perfect combination you swear only an artist could think of. Yet here he is. Gorgeous, breathtaking, and yours.
His elbows land on either side of your head when he dips down to kiss you and after all the stress this evening, it feels like being doused by cool water in the summertime.
As your lips meld together, Jungkook settles between your thighs. You can already feel his bulge pressing against your stomach and it causes all your pent up desire to flicker into a roaring flame. Suddenly all you want is for him to remain buried inside you until the sun comes up.
In a strange sense, the urge doesn’t feel all that sexual. You always crave him, but tonight it’s the connection itself that matters most. Maybe that’s the reason everyone loves makeup sex so much.
“I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” he whispers, pulling you from your devoted reverie. “I’m gonna make it up to you, okay? All night long.”
He kisses you again before you can respond, making you whimper around his tongue when it slides inside your mouth.
“If you want me to forgive you,” you interrupt the lip lock. “You have to make me come a few times.”
Jungkook snickers as his lips move to your neck.
“You’re lettin’ me off easy.”
You echo his laugh while raking your fingers through his hair and down his back. Your sharp nails catch on his shirt, prompting him to lift his head enough to pull the fabric completely off.
“Wait.”
Before he can return to your throat, you press a hand to his chest so you can admire him properly. It’s been far too long since you’ve seen him shirtless. So, you trail your fingers down his stomach, tracing all the pretty indents and curves.
“You’re gawking,” he teases.
“I’m inspecting what’s mine.”
He giggles and his nose scrunches.
“And is it all up to your standards, ma’am?”
“Hmm. I think I have to do a more thorough examination.”
In one smooth movement, you hook your legs around Jungkook’s waist to flip him over. The abrupt action leaves him relentlessly cackling while you get comfortable in his lap, but his hands still cradle your hips by muscle memory.
Once his laughter fades, he watches with lustful eyes as you descend his torso one kiss at a time. Your lips find his collarbones, then his pecs and sternum, before stalling at the first dip of his abs where your tongue darts out.
He hums in appreciation while you slowly map him with your mouth. It’s actually a little unfair how ripped he is, but then again, you’re the one who reaps the benefits of his diligent workout routine.
His fingers slink into your hair as you alternate between light smooches and long licks. He softly moans above you, and although he’s clearly enjoying himself, this is more for you than him. If you had enough time, you’d drag your lips across every inch of his body.
“Feels s’good, babygirl,” Jungkook quietly slurs. There’s a tug on your scalp that causes you to look up and after your eyes meet, he guides you back to his mouth. “But I need to taste you.”
Your lips crash into each other, but you’re well aware that’s not what he’s alluding to. Even still, his tongue chases your own while he peels your shirt off and starts unbuttoning your jeans. Once you’re entirely bare, he guides your body higher, leading you to pull back with raised eyebrows.
“What are you doing?”
“Want you up here.” He kisses you again for good measure. “Come ride my face.”
“Are you sure? I’m not as light as I —”
“Oh, shut up.”
Next thing you know, Jungkook’s shoving you towards his head before yanking you down by your hips. As soon as you feel his mouth on you, you keen and grab a fistfull of his hair. He groans over the pressure while forcing his face deeper into your cunt so he can begin avidly licking your slit.
You have no idea how long it’s been since the last time, but it’s always an unequivocal sensation. Especially in this position, where he can use his face’s every contour to bring you pleasure. Which he does joyfully every time, like right now as he slurps your arousal and bobs his head so his nose catches on your clit.
“Jesus, how do you always taste so good?” Jungkook asks during a brief reprieve. He glances up from between your legs, causing you to make eye contact because your face is buried in your elbow resting on the headboard. “You’re like fucking candy, Bams.”
The praise makes you giggle. It doesn’t help that he looks adorable from below with his big, doe eyes blinking up at you.
“I think you just love me too much.”
“Well, there’s that, too.”
His lips wrap around your clit in an instant, leaving you whimpering as your legs shake on either side of his head. He starts by gently sucking on the nerve endings before switching between swirling and flattening his tongue.
You’re certain you’re gushing all over the lower half of his face, but Jungkook never seems to mind. Rather, he enthusiastically moans into you while moving down to circle your hole with the tip of his tongue. As he begins pushing the muscle into your pussy, the intense pleasure leads you to grind against him.
There’s a slight fear you’ll crush or hurt him, but he merely tugs you closer with a muffled growl. His fingertips are digging into your hips and ass to keep you right where he wants you, but he also uses the grip to guide your body back and forth.
All your most sensitive parts are being dragged against his face and it’s sending you tumbling towards an orgasm faster than you can comprehend. Jungkook can obviously tell, since he ramps up the efforts of his mouth and tongue to make you fall over the edge.
Your climax hits you hard and without warning, at the same moment Jungkook teases your hole and forces his nose into your clit. A loud, desperate whine spills from your lips as you convulse above him, but he doesn’t stop pushing and pulling you so he can continue throughout your entire high.
“Koo,” you cry.
“I’m not stopping,” he warns you. “You can handle more, can’t you, baby?”
Your eyes meet again, although yours are filled with tears.
Instead of responding when your head’s so high in the clouds, you nod until he buries his face in your cunt once more.
Jungkook swallows every last drop of cum before soaking your pussy all over again. The second round’s much messier. He drags the flat of his tongue up and down your slit before spitting and slurping the filthy mixture of you and him into his mouth.
It feels heavenly despite being such a sinful act and you can’t resist grinding harder with every lick and lap.
“That’s it, babygirl. Use me.”
He only pauses for a second to speak; immediately diving back in so he can wet your clit before suckling on it.
You come almost as soon as his lips wrap around your pearl and Jungkook groans and grunts in pleasure when you drown his features in arousal.
“Baby, I can’t. It’s too much,” you whimper while he greedily eats your cum throughout your orgasm.
Even though the overstimulation’s setting your nerves on fire, your hips have a mind of their own and continue gyrating above him until he loudly inhales and leaves you alone with a final peck.
“How was that, huh?”
You sigh and flop onto you back beside him to catch your breath.
“Fucking amazing. You’re never going that long without eating me out again.”
“I sure hope not!” Jungkook shouts as he rests on one elbow. “It’s been like wading through the Sahara desert, Bambi. I was parched without the taste of your sweet, sweet nectar.”
His dramatics send your eyes rolling before you playfully shove him away from you.
“You’re so ridiculous.”
“But I’m serious.” He returns to his previous position and you naturally turn to face him as well. “I would’ve kept going if you didn’t tap out on me.”
“Hey, I need time to work up to our old routine. Okay? She’s not used to back to back orgasms anymore,” you explain.
Jungkook smirks while pulling you closer by your waist.
“Well, she better get reacclimated fast because I’m about to fuck you until you can’t feel your legs.”
In a single second, he tugs you beneath him and puts his weight on his opposite arm so he can hover above you. Even through his pants you can feel the large bulge rubbing against your core and your body naturally arcs towards his own despite having just come down from a high.
“Is that really your plan to make it up to me? By crippling me so I can’t get anything done?”
“Mmhm. Because then you can’t stop me from waiting on you hand and foot.”
You can’t stop the laughter bubbling in your chest due to his familiar antics. It’s been so long since you’ve had the chance to just banter in bed together and you’ve missed these moments dearly.
“What a coincidence. Suddenly there are a multitude of chores to do this week.”
He parrots your giggles.
“Good. The least I can do for letting you down is scrub some damn floors,” he professes.
That might be the sexiest thing he’s ever said. It’s no wonder your hands sneak down his back to help him out of his pants. Jungkook cackles upon realizing his words’ effect on you. Only a stay at home mom would get turned on by the idea of not having to clean.
“You know what, why don’t you do your worst, then? I think I’d like a nice, long break from housework.”
Jungkook’s responding smile is brilliant as always, and you mirror it as he goes in for another kiss.
“As you wish, my love.”
The sound of his pants hitting the floor echoes a mere second before he thrusts forward to spear you on his cock. He has to cover your mouth because of how loudly you wail in ecstasy, even though you’re multiple floors away from your children. Call it a force of habit from parenthood.
Your next moan is muffled behind Jungkook’s palm when he pulls back, only to return even deeper inside your cunt.
“Fuck,” you sob into his hand.
“Holy shit, babygirl.”
He begins at a steady, calm pace, but with each stroke he pushes himself farther into your warm walls. His face falls to your neck as his free hand captures one of your own to force it beside your head. Your other arm’s draped over his shoulder where your nails repeatedly dig into his muscular back.
“Koo.”
Jungkook softly groans against your skin while leaving lazy kisses all along your throat.
“You feel so fucking good. I missed you so much,” he tells you. “I’m sorry, Bams. For everything this year. I’m… so fucking sorry. I love you so damn much.”
His hand drops to the pillows to hold himself up, allowing him to find an even deeper angle. You want to reply to his reverence right away, but a whimper’s all you can manage initially.
“I love you.” You lift his head from the crook of your neck, cupping his jaw and staring into his starry, lovetruck eyes. “Please don’t ever make me mad at you again. I don’t ever want to feel like that, Jungkook.”
“I know.” A reassuring smile lights up his face. “You won’t have to, baby. I promise.”
He solidifies his vow with a sharp thrust and poignant kiss. One that leaves you moaning into his mouth as his hips pick up both speed and force.
By the time your lip’s part, he’s fucking you too good to continue speaking to each other. All either of you can accomplish is punctuated grunts that seem to whisper the other’s name.
Your fingers crawl into his hair once he returns to painting your neck purple. His soft lips encourage your head to tilt so he has more space to venerate you, which quickly sends your mind into a frenzy. Especially when in tandem with the deliberate rolls of his hips.
Jungkook’s bringing himself in and out of your pussy with ease. Of course, he is, your body’s practically his second home. Your velvet walls know him almost as well as you do and they always welcome him inside without any resistance.
He knows it, too. Not only is he completely in tune with your emotions, but he can feel your cunt clenching and pulsing around him.
Hence why he knows you’re going to come again soon. Similarly, you can tell how close he is. His heavy balls are slapping your ass with each thrust and whenever his moans start coming out airy and faint, it’s a tell tale sign.
“Fill me up, Koo.”
“No,” he rasps while glancing up again. “Not yet. Not after so long of not being able to fuck you exactly how I want.”
It’s hard to fully comprehend his next movements, but you recognize the sensation of him pulling out and flipping you over so you’re straddling him once again.
You certainly don’t need to be told what to do and Jungkook whines and claws at your hips as you sink onto his cock until he’s entirely sheathed inside you.
“Really? Make up sex and you’re putting me on top?”
Cue an eye roll.
“Oh, please. Like I won’t be doing all the work.”
After theatrically gawking, you smack his chest.
“Hey! That’s no way to talk to your wif —”
“Oh, just c‘mere.”
A gasp slices your word in half when Jungkook wraps his fingers around your throat and pulls you down for an erotic kiss. His tongue conquers your mouth without any mercy at the same moment he flattens his feet on the mattress. The extra leverage presses his dick into your g-spot and once he begins bouncing you on his thighs, you fear he’s buried so far he’ll get stuck.
Everything becomes a haphazard mixture of bodily fluids, panting, squelching, and breathless whines from then on. You can’t even continue arguing with Jungkook because he is putting in all the effort. Between him choking you and pounding into your pussy from below, you’re helpless to do anything but enjoy yourself.
Sex is always phenomenal in this position and having his large hand on your neck only makes it better. With every plunge inside you, his cock stretches you open and rubs against your tight walls. You two fit together like puzzle pieces and there’s nothing better than feeling his hot skin and thick veins moving in and out of you.
Your faces are still only millimeters apart, but rather than kissing, you're practically just breathing into each other’s mouths.
That changes when you push on Jungkook’s chest to sit upright. It creates an impeccable new angle and you enthusiastically cry his name. In response, he tightens his grasp on your throat and goes into overdrive.
The sudden influx of skin slapping against skin is deafening, yet it pales in comparison to you incoherently sobbing.
“That’s it. Take this big cock.”
“Baby,” you pant. “I need your cum. Please, I feel so empty without it.”
“Empty?” Jungkook squawks. “Do you even realize how many inches are inside you right now?”
As if to prove his point, he wraps his other arm around your waist so he can hold you in place and drive his dick even deeper. The uptick in force causes you to shriek as salty tears roll down your cheeks and neck until they’re stopped by his hand.
“Fucking hell, Koo.”
“That’s what I thought. I’ll fuck my cum into you when I’m good and ready.”
He squeezes the sides of your throat while continuing at the same monstrous pace. In the meantime, you clutch his pecs for support and let your head fall back.
Whether or not he’s going to finish soon, you’re already on the precipice of your third orgasm. Everything feels way too amazing to hold back any longer, but you still want to come together. Which means you have to bring him to the edge along with you.
“Jungkook.” You purposely make your voice sound airy and seductive while catching his eye again. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if we hadn’t made up.” He still seems entirely focused on fucking you, but you notice his eyebrows twitch just a hair. “I needed this so badly, baby. It’s all I’ve wanted for months. Just you and your perfect cock inside me.”
“Oh, fuck, Bams.” His eyes roll back as his rhythm momentarily falters. “Don’t stop. Your voice drives me crazy.”
“I was so angry with you, but as soon as I felt you stretching my pussy open, none of it mattered.”
“Shit.”
“C’mon, handsome, give me what I need to forgive you.” For good measure, you scrape your nails down his chest and lean over to whisper in his ear. “Put your cum right where it belongs.”
A loud, throaty groan rumbles through Jungkook’s chest before his hips stutter and you feel the familiar warmth of his seed coating your walls. His release sets off your own and you both wail and shake as your respective climaxes wash over you.
It takes a full thirty seconds for you two to completely return to earth, at which point you slump on top of Jungkook. He releases your throat so both his hands can roam your back, but you can only graciously hum in your weakened state.
“You alright, babygirl?”
“Mmhm.”
“Was the makeup sex worth it?”
You shake your head.
“Would much rather have sex without a fight first,” you answer.
He chuckles while kissing your hairline.
“I have to agree,” he replies.
You sigh as he delicately rolls you on your back and once you look comfortable enough, he leaves to find a rag. Per usual, you’re nearly half asleep as he wipes your thighs and pussy with a warm towel. But after he joins you under the covers and pulls you into his arms, you perk up again.
“Can I ask you something?”
Jungkook’s eyebrows rise.
“I’m sorry, do you even have to ask?”
Following a light laugh, you sit up so you aren’t lying flat on his chest.
“So, I know when you realized you were in love with me. But I wanna know when you started falling in love. Is there a moment or something that looking back you see was where it all began?”
Your inquiry clearly surprises him, but a smile begins to form as he debates on an answer.
“Honestly? No. Kinda how you can’t pinpoint exactly when you realized your feelings for me, I have no idea about the beginning of mine.” His grin turns nostalgic. “But if I have to guess, I think I was slowly falling in love with you throughout my entire life and you getting pregnant just accelerated the process.”
“Oh, yeah?”
The idea of Jungkook’s feelings being a calm waterfall that turned into fierce, whitewater rapids as soon as you got pregnant makes your heart soar.
“Yes. No matter what, you were always gonna be my girl, Bambi.”
A childish giggle leaves your lips as you bury your face in his neck.
“What about you, huh?” Jungkook’s fingers slide along your cheek to lift your head up. “If you asked, you must’ve considered your own answer.”
You’re already blushing like crazy and have to bite your bottom lip to suppress a shy smirk.
“You remember the night we conceived Naru?”
“Of course. It’s what I think about whenever I jack off.”
That earns him a melodramatic glare.
“Well, there was this moment after we reached my room when you were sitting on my bed and I’d just taken my pants off. You grabbed my hand to pull me between your legs, then leaned in and kissed my stomach while I ran my fingers through your hair. I obviously didn’t know at the time, but after thinking it over for a while, I’m sure that’s when I started falling for you.”
Jungkook sends you a show stopping smile before capturing your lips in a sultry, but romantic kiss. Your mouths move as one in order to convey any other thoughts words simply can’t. It ends all too soon, but you keep your foreheads together to pacify yourselves.
“I love you more than life itself. You know that, don’t you?” He asks.
“I know.”
“Then just… don’t ever forget again, okay? Above all else, the one thing I can never have questioned is my love for you and our kids.”
You sigh while moving away so you can actually look into his eyes. The same eyes he shares with the three beautiful children he’s talking about. The ones you’ve found solace in all throughout your life and always will.
“I promise, Koo,” you assure him. “I know exactly how you feel because I love you more.”
A single click of his tongue seals your fate; that you won’t be getting much sleep this evening.
“Is this really the game you wanna play, Bams?”
Between Jungkook playfully growling when he attacks you and your screech of fake terror, you aren’t sure which noise is louder.
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
a/n: im so sorry for these late and unscheduled and unorganised posts, im not feeling the best these days but i promise that i will get back onto updating every other day for you guys!! i really am sorry, but i love you all and remember every interaction is appreciated!! <33
there hadn't been a moment. no lightning strike. no dramatic realisation. you'd simply become part of his routine in the most natural, quietest way imaginable, until one day he realised the school day somehow felt a little brother if he'd managed to make you laugh before heading home.
"daddy."
ledger blinked, dragged abruptly back into the present by the unmistakeable sound of diem appearing in the doorway carrying three mismatched jumpers over one arm.
"hm?"
she looked at him with complete and utter seriousness. "if we're not dancing today..."
"we're not."
"...then we need an adventure."
he couldn't help but smile at her idea. "an adventure?"
"a proper one!"
"okay, what qualifies as a 'proper adventure'?"
she frowned thoughtfully, dropping the pile of jumpers onto the sofa before climbing up beside them. "somewhere with snacks?"
"right."
"ooh! and books!"
"okay..."
"and~ maybe duckies!"
ledger folded his arms. "i'm noticing these adventures be becomin' oddly specific, bug."
she shrugged one shoulder with exaggerated innocence. "i've been thinking."
"well...that worries me."
"it shouldn't!"
"it absolutely should, d."
she giggled, the sound filling the room so completely that for a moment it pushed everything else aside. there were days - more often than he cared to admit - when hearing her laugh still caught him unexpectedly. not because it was rare.
thankfully, it wasn't. but because there had been a time, after kenna, when he wondered if either of them would ever find their way back to sounds like that again.
grief has a way of making laughter feel almost disloyal at first, as though smiling somehow diminished the love you still carried for person you'd lost.
he knew better now. or at least, he tried to. "you know what," he said, ruffling her already impossible curls, "i think i know somewhere that has books."
"and snacks?"
"...probably."
"and ducks?"
"i make no promises."
diem gasped dramatically. "we'll risk it for the biscuit."
she disappeared from the room with all the urgency of someone preparing for an expedition, calling over her shoulder that she needed 'special socks' for adventures. ledger watched her go, shaking his head fondly before letting the quiet settle around him once more.
his gaze drifted back to his phone. the screen remained dark. he walked past it. made it halfway to the hallway, stopped, turned around and picked it up.
this was ridiculous. he was thirty-something years old. he had survived parenthood, grief, sleepless nights, broken boilers, teaching diem long division. surely sending one text message shouldn't feel harder than all of those things combined.
his thumb hovered over your conversation.
he typed.
we're heading into town if you--
deleted it. too abrupt.
he tried again.
diem wondered if--
deleted. absolutely not. that sounded suspiciously like he was hiding behind his daughter. which, if he was being entirely honest with himself, he probably was.
he sighed quietly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck before locking the phone and setting it down once more. maybe this was a bad idea. maybe there was an invisible line that had existed for good reason, and asking you to spend an afternoon together outside of school would blur it in ways neither of you needed.
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
ledger had paused just long enough to betray himself, whilst diem...she was grinning spread from ear to ear.
"i knew it~"
ledger let out a slow breath through his nose, somewhere between exasperation and reluctant amusement. "you a menace."
"hehe, i know." she looked entirely too pleased with herself. "and," she continued, scooping a dramatic spoonful of cereal into her mouth before speaking around it despite every lesson on table manners he'd ever attempted to teach her (they're in his bed), "Miss Y/N's plans got cancelled too."
he blinked. "...how do you know that...?"
"you jus' said."
"no..." he frowned. "i didn't..."
diem pointed triumphantly at the phone still resting in his hand. "you smiled twice, daddy."
she crawled towards him closer, proudly carrying her cereal into the living room as though she'd solved the greatest mystery of the century, his coffee growing cold, your conversation still open on his screen, and one increasingly dangerous thought settling quietly into the back of his mind.
you were both unexpectedly free. and for the first time since kenna...the possibility of asking someone to simply share an ordinary afternoon with didn't feel impossible.
it just felt terrifying.
*****
the thought followed ledger around the house with an irritating level of persistence.
it stayed with him while he cleared away breakfast dishes (he moved from his sanctuary of his bed), listening absent-mindedly to diem's running commentary about why cereal always tasted better on weekends than it did before school.
it lingered while he wiped down the kitchen counters, while he rescued a tea towel from the floor where diem had abandoned it halfway through "helping," and even while he stood in his utility room waiting for the washing machine to finish its cycle.
every task that would usually occupy his mind seemed to happen automatically, his body moving through familiar routines while the same goddamn sentence replayed itself over and over again somewhere behind his ribs.
you were both unexpectedly free.
objectively, though, it shouldn't have meant anything.
people had cancelled plans all the time right? children got sick, teachers caught the flu, dance rehearsals were postponed, storytelling sessions were rescheduled. it wasn't remarkable. it certainly weren't fate - he'd never been someone who believed in that sort of thing.
and yet...his eyes drifted, uninvited, towards his phone resting face-down on the kitchen island.
he'd known you for months now.
months of hurried conversations at classrooms doors while twenty other parents waited behind him. months of exchanging polite smiles over diem's latest masterpiece or discussing reading levels and spelling tests.
then somehow, somewhere between recital programmes and text messages about garlic bread, those conversations had become something else entirely. not dramatically, not overnight, they'd simply...lengthened.
five minutes instead of two. questions that had nothing to do with school. comfortable silences that neither of you seemed particularly eager to break.
he couldn't remember exactly when he'd started looking forward to seeing you.
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
his phone buzzed against the bedside table. he glanced down absently, expecting perhaps Roman or a reminder he'd forgotten to turn off.
instead, he saw your name. it still caught him off guard every time. not because you hadn't texted before. you had, several fuckin' times over the last week, and somehow those brief conversations had become one of the quiet highlights of his evenings.
it was simply the strange novelty of seeing your name appear in a part of his life that had, until recently, belonged almost exclusively to family. school had been one thing; the classroom belonged to both of you.
but this - saturday morning, coffee still warm in his hand, the house filled with the smell of toast - felt different somehow. softer. more personal. like you'd stepped across an invisible line neither of you had realised existed.
he unlocked the screen.
i regret to inform you that the universe appears determined to ruin seven-year-olds' weekends.
a laugh escaped him before he could stop it. another message followed almost immediately.
the storytelling event at Hawthorne Books has been cancelled.
apparently the storyteller's come down with the same thing half of North Carolina seems to have this week.
i'm beginning to think the children have offended someone.
ledger leaned back against his headboard, smiling down at the screen with a warmth that surprised him. it was such a you way of delivering bad news - not dwelling on disappointment, but wrapping it in gentle humour instead.
he could picture your expression as you typed it, eyebrows slightly raised, that small smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. the image arrived in his mind so naturally that it startled him.
his thumbs hovered over the keyboard.
diem has jusr informed me of the dance rehearsal cancellation with teh seriousness of someone announcing the end of civiilisation.
the typing bubble appeared almost instantly.
oh dear...has she recovred?
eh, it's touch and go. she's uh currently negotiating with cereal.
when your reply came, he actually laughed out aloud.
please do keep me updated. i'll light a candle ;))
"who are you talking to~?"
ledger looked up so quickly he nearly dropped his phone. diem had returned carrying a cereal bowl almost as large as her head, eyeing him with the unmistakable curiosity of a child who noticed everything.
"no one."
she gave him a look that could only have come from spending too much time around adults. "you smiled."
"i smile."
"not like that~"
ledger opened his mouth to argue, thought better of it, and reached for his mug again. "eat your breakfast."
Through The Waves - Tyriq Withers x Amira Blake (oc)
⤷ Amira Blake is in the final stretch of her pregnancy with her first child. After months of preparing, planning, and dreaming, early labour sets in. At home with her loving husband Tyriq, and surrounded by her doula, midwives, and mother, Amira begins the long and emotional journey of a home water birth. The story follows through her hours of contractions, moments of fear, waves of hope, and the unshakeable support of the people she loves most.
warnings: fluff, british OC (but can be read in any accent u want), set in London, emotional mess, ty being a girl dad asf <33 (ty took her last name btdubs)
The First Walk.
The morning arrived wrapped in pale sunshine.
It wasn't particularly warm—not by any stretch of the imagination—but after days spent almost entirely cocooned inside the house, the sunlight spilling through the kitchen windows felt like an invitation.
The kettle hummed softly on the counter while somewhere upstairs, Zaliyah let out one of her tiny squeaky stretches that had quickly become everyone's favourite sound.
Tyriq looked up from the mug he'd been making for Amira.
His entire face softened.
"She's awake."
Amira smiled from where she sat curled on one of the kitchen stools, one of his oversized hoodies practically swallowing her whole.
"You can tell from one stretch?"
He looked at her as though she'd asked whether the sky was blue.
"Of course."
"Baby."
"What?"
"That could've been anything."
"It was the sleepy stretch."
She laughed quietly.
"The sleepy stretch?"
He nodded confidently.
"Different noise."
She shook her head, unable to stop smiling.
"You've gone completely soft."
"I've gone completely dad, get it right."
The correction came proudly. Amira watched him pour hot water into her mug before carrying it over with the same gentle care he'd been showing her since the day Zaliyah was born. He placed it in front of her before leaning down to kiss her forehead.
"Careful, angel. It's hot."
She looked up at him with amused eyes.
"You made it."
"I know."
"So why are you warning me?"
"Because I love you."
Her heart melted.
Every single time.
"You really are impossible."
"And yet..."
He stole another quick kiss.
"...you married me."
Before she could answer, another tiny cry floated down from upstairs. Tyriq's head snapped toward the ceiling.
"I'll get her."
Amira stood at exactly the same time.
"I was already getting up."
"I know."
"So why are you running?"
"I'm not running."
"You absolutely are."
"I'm speed walking."
"You took the stairs two at a time."
"I have long legs, I'm 6'4, mama." He said, humorously.
She laughed so hard she had to grab the counter for support as he disappeared upstairs with all the urgency of someone responding to a national emergency rather than a newborn waking from a nap.
A few minutes later he reappeared.
Zaliyah was tucked securely against his chest, wrapped in a soft cream knitted cardigan over a pale sage-green sleepsuit with tiny embroidered daisies across the feet. Her little hat sat slightly crooked over her dark hair, and she blinked sleepily around the kitchen as though trying to understand why everyone insisted on waking up so early.
Tyriq looked impossibly proud.
"There she is."
He kissed the top of her tiny head before crossing the kitchen toward Amira.
"Mummy's waiting for you, princess."
The second Amira reached out, Zaliyah instinctively leaned toward her voice. It was such a small movement that anyone else might have missed it. Tyriq didn't. Neither did Amira.
"Oh..."
His voice came out barely above a whisper.
"Did you see that?"
Amira smiled, gathering their daughter carefully into her arms.
"I did."
"She knows you."
"You've been saying that since she was born."
"Because it's true."
He reached out to smooth one tiny curl peeking out from beneath her hat. "She always looks for you first."
Amira looked down at the little girl nestled against her chest.
"I think she looks for both of us."
As if on cue, Zaliyah turned her sleepy face toward Tyriq's voice.
He gasped.
"Angel."
Amira was already laughing.
"You've got to stop reacting to everything she does."
"I literally can't."
"I know."
He leaned down until he was eye level with their daughter.
"Good morning, princess."
Zaliyah blinked once. Twice. Then let out the tiniest little yawn. Tyriq's hand flew to his chest.
"Oh, come on."
Amira giggled.
"There it is."
"What?"
"The dramatic sigh."
"I'm not dramatic."
She raised one eyebrow.
"Honey."
"...Maybe a little."
Nearly an hour later, they still hadn't left. Because apparently taking a new-born for a ten-minute walk required enough preparation to survive a week in the wilderness.
The changing bag had been packed three separate times. Tyriq had checked the nappies twice. The wipes four times. The spare clothes five. He'd even packed an extra blanket despite Amira gently reminding him there were already three folded neatly beneath the pram.
"Sweetheart," she called from the hallway, slipping on her trainers while balancing Zaliyah against her shoulder. "If you put one more muslin cloth in that bag, it won't close."
"I just think six is a sensible number."
She laughed.
"For a twenty-minute walk?"
"You never know."
"What exactly do you think'll happen?"
He looked at her with complete sincerity.
"I don't know."
"And that's the problem."
She walked over, unable to resist cupping his face with one hand.
"Oh, bunny."
He immediately melted into her touch.
"You've thought about every possible disaster, haven't you?"
"...Maybe."
"You've imagined her getting cold."
"...Yes."
"Too warm?"
"...Yes."
"Hungry?"
"...Yes."
"Needing a nappy change?"
"...Obviously."
She smiled so fondly it almost hurt.
Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him softly.
"You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think she's got the best daddy in the whole world."
His ears immediately turned pink.
"Don't."
"I'm serious."
"You'll make me cry."
She grinned.
"Already?"
"We haven't even left the house."
"I know."
He looked down at Zaliyah sleeping peacefully against Amira's shoulder.
Then back at his wife.
"I just..."
His voice softened.
"I want everything to be perfect for her."
Amira reached for his hand.
"It won't be."
He frowned. She squeezed his fingers. "There'll be days we forget spare socks."
He smiled faintly. "There'll be days she cries for no reason."
"There'll be days we feel like we've got absolutely no idea what we're doing."
He nodded.
"But she'll never doubt she's loved."
His eyes filled instantly.
"Because that's the one thing we're already getting right."
For a moment, neither of them spoke. The hallway fell quiet. Morning sunlight streamed through the frosted glass of the front door, wrapping the three of them in a soft golden glow.
Tyriq stepped forward until his forehead rested against Amira's. His free hand came up to gently cup the back of Zaliyah's tiny head where she slept between them.
"My girls," he whispered.
The words were filled with so much love they almost seemed too small to hold it all.
"My whole world."
Amira closed her eyes for a moment, breathing him in.
Then she smiled.
"So..."
She tilted her head toward the front door.
"Fancy finally taking our daughter on her first adventure?"
Tyriq looked down at Zaliyah. Then at the pram waiting by the door. Then back at Amira.
A slow smile spread across his face.
"Our first family walk."
"Our first family walk," she echoed softly.
He reached for the door handle.
And together, hand in hand, with their tiny daughter nestled safely between them, they stepped out into the bright morning sunshine—three hearts discovering that even the simplest journey could feel like the beginning of something unforgettable.
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
saturday mornings had developed a rhythm of their own in the Ward household over the years, one that had never been spoken about aloud and yet somehow settled into place with the quiet certainty of habit.
ledger was always awake first, though not because he particularly enjoyed mornings, but because years of fatherhood had simply trained his body to wake before the rest of the house, and even on the rare occasions when diem granted him the luxury of sleeping past seven, he rarely managed it.
instead, he found comfort in the silence that existed before little feet padded across the hallway floor, in the ritual of grinding coffee beans while the kettle boiled, in opening the kitchen window just enough to let the cool morning air wander inside, and in standing at the sink with a mug warming his hands as he watched the sleepy little street slowly come to life (which he stopped doing once he realised he looked like a creep).
saturdays, especially, carried a different sort of peace and pace. there was nowhere to rush to, no packed lunches to be made, no school run, no hurried search for missing jumpers or water bottles (although he claims he's calm in the morning).
just him, a quiet house, and the comforting knowledge that for one morning at least, the world wasn't asking anything from him.
well. that peace lasted precisely eleven fuckin' minutes.
"daaaaadddyyyy!"
ledger closed his eyes before his bedroom door had even finished flying open. "mornin' to you too, i guess."
"I got bad newsssss..."
there was a very specific tone diem used whenever she'd announced she had brought bad news into a room. it wasn't frightened or upset. if anything, it sounded almost like she was...excited. as though catastrophe was simply another interesting part of the day waiting to be explored, and poor ledger; he learned through years of experience that this usually meant one of two things:
either something genuinely unfortunate had happened OR she'd decided something entirely ordinary qualified as a national emergency.
without turning around, he lifted his mug to his lips from his bedside table. "is the house on fire?"
"no.."
"have..aliens landed in the backyard?"
"no."
"did...the president...call asking if you could run the country?"
a dramatic sigh. "daddy."
"so it can't be that bad."
tiny sock-covered feet shuffled across his floor until she sat beside him on his bed, clutching a sheet of pink paper that had clearly been folded and unfolded enough times to soften around the edges. her curls still stuck out in every directions from sleep, and one sleeve of her oversized pyjama top had slipped halfway down her shoulder. god, i gotta get her new clothes ledger thought.
she looked impossibly small for a seven year old, impossibly serious and entirely goddamn determined to deliver whatever devastating news she'd brought with the gravity it deserved.
"Miss Claire's poorly."
ledger frowned, finally looking down at the note in her hands. it took him only a moment to realise what it was - the printed email from the dance school announcing that today's rehearsal had been cancelled because her instructor came down with a nasty flu.
diem held it between both hands as though it were a formal letter from the president himself.
"oh," he said gently, setting his mug aside. "i'm sorry, bug."
" i pwactised all week..."
"i know, baby."
"i even did my stwetches!"
"i know.."
"a-and now it's cancelled..."
there wasn't anger in her voice - God no, 'cos the little girl had a heart of gold towards other people - only disappointment. that uniquely childhood kind of disappointment that felt enormius because, for a seven year old, it genuinely was.
plans mattered. things to look forward to mattered. ledger reached over, brushing a hand over the top of her untidy curls before pulling her into his side, and she leaned against him immediately with the unquestioning trust only children seemed to be capable of.
"we'll think of somethin' else," he murmured. "the day ain't ruined yet."
she looked up at him with doe eyes. "promise?"
he smiled despite himself. "pinky promise."
for a long moment she considered him, clearly weighing whether to believe him. then, apparently satisfied, she nodded once, hopped down from his bed she'd climbed onto, and wandered off in search of cereal in the kitchen, already humming to herself as though the storm had passed.
ledger watched her disappear around the corner, with an amused shake of his head.
wondering - not for the first time -
how someone so small could feel everything so completely.
today’s update(s) will be a bit late cos i was watching the england v panama match last night and idk how long it’s gonna take for me to write all three updates - BUT it will come i promise <33
also the ledger ward mature fic is halfway done 🤭🤭
and i’m also at an event today but i genuinely promise it’s coming - life’s just been really freaking hectic right now 💞💞
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :)
Ledger didn't mean to stay awake waiting for another message. That was the thing he would later tell himself. The thing he'd cling to when he was lying in bed staring at his ceiling at nearly midnight, his phone resting face-down on the nightstand beside him.
He wasn't waiting. He was simply awake. There was a difference. A significant one, as far as he was concerned.
Unfortunately, the fact that he'd checked his phone four separate times in under ten minutes weakened that argument considerably.
The house had long since fallen quiet. Diem was asleep. The dishwasher hummed softly somewhere downstairs. Outside, a steady rain had begun tapping against the windows, turning the world beyond the glass into a blur of orange streetlights and shadows.
Sleep should have come easily. Instead, his thoughts kept circling back to a single text conversation. Not because anything particularly remarkable had been said. Quite the opposite.
The conversation itself had been painfully ordinary. A joke about spaghetti. An accusation regarding Diem's manipulation tactics. A brief discussion about whether garlic bread qualified as a personality trait.
Normal.
Entirely normal.
Yet somehow, it had lodged itself beneath his skin.
Because for the first time, you existed outside of school pickup times and parent-teacher conversations. For the first time, he wasn't waiting to see you in a classroom doorway or passing you in a crowded hallway. There was simply a phone number in his contacts and the dangerous realization that, if he wanted to, he could reach out.
The thought should not have felt as significant as it did.
Yet it sat heavily in his chest anyway. His phone buzzed. Ledger looked at it immediately. Then immediately hated himself for looking at it immediately.
The message made him smile before he could stop it.
i have important information.
His thumbs hovered above the screen.
this sounds serious.
Three dots appeared.
Disappeared.
Then reappeared.
For some reason, watching them made his stomach do something deeply unhelpful.
one of my students informed me today that garlic bread is "basically a vegetable."
Ledger stared at the screen. Then laughed aloud. A genuine laugh. The kind that escaped before permission could be granted.
lemme gues, was it Diem?
The reply arrived almost instantly.
how did you know?
He shook his head. Of course. Of course it had been Diem.
The child had apparently decided to dedicate herself fully to spreading misinformation.
For the next hour, the conversation drifted effortlessly between ridiculous topics. Students. Teaching. The increasingly bizarre logic children seemed to operate under. The fact that Diem had once attempted to convince an entire table of classmates that dolphins paid taxes.
Nothing important was discussed.
Nothing life-changing was said.
Yet by the time Ledger finally set his phone down, he realized something uncomfortable. He couldn't remember the last time talking to someone had felt easy.
Not polite.
Not manageable.
Easy.
There was no pressure to perform. No expectation hanging over every word. No careful calculation of what should or shouldn't be said.
Just conversation. Simple and uncomplicated.
The realization followed him into sleep.
The next morning, Y/N nearly poured orange juice into her tea. In her defence, she hadn't slept particularly well.
Not because of anything dramatic. Not because she'd spent hours staring at messages and smiling like an idiot every time her phone lit up.
Certainly not that. Her sister took one look at her expression over breakfast and immediately sighed.
"Oh no."
Y/N glanced up.
"What?"
"You're texting him."
The accusation landed with alarming accuracy. Y/N looked away. Her sister groaned dramatically.
"You're texting him."
"We had one conversation."
"One conversation that resulted in you smiling at your phone while brushing your teeth."
Heat flooded her face.
"You saw that?"
"I unfortunately have eyes."
Y/N buried her face in her mug. Across the table, her sister leaned back in her chair with the expression of someone watching a train derail in real time.
"You know you're gone, right?"
Y/N stared into her tea. The steam curled upwards between her hands.
Outside the kitchen window, the morning was grey and drizzly. Inside, everything felt strangely warm.
The terrifying thing was that she couldn't even deny it anymore. Not really. Because somewhere between recital programmes and classroom doorways and messages about garlic bread, something had shifted.
Not suddenly. Not dramatically. Quietly. The way seasons changed.
The way daylight lingered a little longer each evening until one day you realized winter had ended.
She thought about the way Ledger laughed. The way his eyes softened whenever Diem entered a room. The gentleness he carried beneath layers of grief and caution. The way he'd thanked her for coming to the recital as though she'd done something extraordinary.
And for perhaps the first time, she stopped trying to explain it away.
Maybe she was gone. Maybe she had been for a while.
By Thursday afternoon, texting had somehow become normal. That was perhaps the most dangerous part. Not the butterflies.
Not the anticipation.
The normality. The fact that she now expected little messages throughout the day. A photo of a drawing Diem had proudly presented at breakfast. A complaint about discovering glitter in places glitter should never exist. An update informing her that Diem had attempted to teach the family goldfish multiplication.
The messages arrived without expectation.
Without pressure.
Small glimpses into a life she'd somehow become part of.
And each one settled quietly into her day.
That afternoon, as the last students filtered out of the classroom and the familiar chaos of pickup began, Y/N found herself smiling before she even saw them.
Because she recognized Diem's laugh. Because she recognized Ledger's voice. Because she'd started looking for both.
The realization should have frightened her.
Instead, it felt strangely like coming home.
Then she looked up. Found Ledger standing in the doorway.
And for the briefest moment, before either of them spoke, before Diem launched into an explanation about playground politics and missing crayons and an entirely unrelated emergency involving stickers—
Their eyes met. And something passed between them.
Through The Waves - Tyriq Withers x Amira Blake (oc)
⤷ Amira Blake is in the final stretch of her pregnancy with her first child. After months of preparing, planning, and dreaming, early labour sets in. At home with her loving husband Tyriq, and surrounded by her doula, midwives, and mother, Amira begins the long and emotional journey of a home water birth. The story follows through her hours of contractions, moments of fear, waves of hope, and the unshakeable support of the people she loves most.
warnings: fluff, british OC (but can be read in any accent u want), set in London, emotional mess, ty being a girl dad asf <33 (ty took her last name btdubs)
Tiny Toes.
The thing about becoming parents was that nobody warned them how many ordinary moments would suddenly feel terrifying. And they can range from the most mundane, ordinary thing to something that crosses the line of being extraordinary.
It doesn't include labour, birth or even the first night home. Hell, not even the first nappy explosion that somehow ended with both parents needing a change of clothes.
No.
It was things that should've been simple. Things that would have seemed completely insignificant a week ago. Like giving a baby a bath.
Amira knew this because she was currently sitting on the closed toilet lid in their downstairs bathroom trying - and failing - not to laugh while Ty stared suspiciously at the tiny baby bathtub sitting in the middle of the room.
His arms were folded. His eyebrows were furrowed. And his expression was that of someone preparing for battle. "Love."
He didn't tear his eyes away from the tub. "Hm?"
"It's a bath..."
"I know."
"You're starin' at it..."
"I'm assessin' it."
Amira pressed her lips together. "Assessin' it."
"Yes." The reply was so completely serious. "Safety checks."
At that point she gave up. A laugh escaped her immediately. Tyriq looked genuinely offended. "I'm bein' responsible!"
"Baby."
"Angel."
"It's quite literally a plastic tub."
He pointed dramatically - as if she'd cracked the goddamn code. "Exactly!"
Neither of them noticed the tiny sleepy noise coming from the changing mat until Zaliyah stretched. Instantly. Immediately. Every ounce of Tyriq's attention snapped toward their daughter.
The tub forgotten. The danger assessment abandoned. The world reduced once again to one tiny person. "There's my princess." His entire voice changed.
Amira swore it happened every time. One second he was talking normally. The next he was speaking as though Zaliyah personally hung the moon. The tiny baby lying on the changing mat blinked up at him.
Completely unaware of her power. Her dark hair had become slightly fluffier over the last few days. Her cheeks seemed rounder too. Or perhaps they were simply becoming more obsessed.
Either way. Tyriq? He was done for. He crouched immediately beside her. "Did you have a nice nap, sweetheart?"
A tiny yawn answered him. His hand flew directly to his chest. "Oh no."
Amira groaned. "There he goes."
"Did you see that?"
"She yawned."
"Exactly."
Amira buried her face in her hands. Across the room, Zaliyah kicked one tiny foot into the air. Ty's expression softened immediately.
Then. His eyes widened.
"Oh."
"What?"
"Look."
Amira followed his gaze. Tiny toes. Ten perfect little toes. Nothing unusual. Yet somehow both parents stared at them as though they'd never seen feet before. Tyriq carefully touched one. His finger looked enormous beside hers (partly because he's fricken 6'4).
"How are they this small?"
Amira smiled softly.
"I grew them."
He looked up instantly. The fondness in his eyes nearly knocked the breath from her lungs.
"You did."
His voice quietened. The teasing vanished. Because sometimes it still hit him unexpectedly. The reality of what she'd done. What she'd endured. What she'd given them.
His daughter. Their daughter. His entire world. He leaned over and pressed a kiss against her forehead. Long. Lingering. Full of gratitude.
Amira's cheeks immediately warmed.
"Stop looking at me like that."
"I can't."
"Bunny."
"You made her."
She laughed softly.
"You helped."
"I did excellent moral support."
The look she gave him was unimpressed. He grinned. Then looked back down at Zaliyah.
His smile instantly softened.
"Ready for your first bath, princess?"
Unfortunately. Zaliyah was. Tyriq wasn't. The second they carefully lowered her into the warm water, panic entered the chat.
"Oh my God."
"She's fine."
"She's slippery."
"Babies are slippery."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"That's terrible design."
Amira laughed so hard her stomach hurt. Meanwhile Tyriq remained convinced disaster was seconds away. One hand supported Zaliyah carefully. The other hovered nearby. Just in case. His eyes never left her.
Not once. Then something unexpected happened. Zaliyah relaxed. Completely. The tiny tension left her body. Her little hands unclenched.
And slowly...
Sleepily...
She sighed.
The softest little sigh. The kind that sounded suspiciously like contentment. Silence filled the bathroom.
Tyriq froze. Amira froze. Both looked down. Then at each other. Then back at Zaliyah.
"Angel."
His voice cracked.
"I think she likes it."
Amira smiled.
"Looks like it."
Their daughter stretched lazily in the warm water. Perfectly happy. Perfectly calm. And for a moment neither parent moved. They simply watched. Memorising everything. The tiny eyelashes. The little nose. The round cheeks. The impossibly small fingers resting against the water.
Moments that would disappear far too quickly. Moments they'd miss one day. Tyriq swallowed hard.
"She's getting bigger."
The words slipped out before he could stop them. Amira's heart squeezed. Because she knew exactly what he meant. A week ago she'd been tucked safely beneath her ribs. Days ago she'd fit entirely against Amira's chest.
Already she felt different. More awake. More curious. More here. Their baby wasn't staying a new-born forever. And somehow that felt beautiful and heart-breaking all at once.
Amira reached for Ty's hand.
He intertwined their fingers immediately. Neither spoke. They didn't need to. Because between them sat a tiny baby with sleepy eyes and wrinkly little toes.
And together they watched their daughter enjoy her very first bath.
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) (short as hell im so sorry it's too fuckin hot here in the uk).
Later that night, after Diem had fallen asleep with one arm wrapped around a stuffed rabbit she'd outgrown years ago, Ledger stood alone in the kitchen rinsing dishes beneath warm water.
The house had settled into familiar quiet. He reached automatically for another plate. His phone buzzed against the counter. Unknown number. Frowning, he dried his hands and picked it up.
The message had read:
hi. i owe you an apology if diem asks about spaghetti tomorrow. i fear i may have accidentally encouraged her. oh btw it's Y/N :)).
Ledger just...stared. Read it again. Then a third time. Slowly, he looked toward the hallway leading to Diem's room. The tiny criminal mastermind. He should ignore. He should absolutely ignore it. Instead he typed:
yeah well, i think we both victims of a very determined seven year old. from ledger.
Then added a follow up message:
for the record and what it's worth, the garlic bread apparently isn't negotiable.
He hit send. Immediately regretting every life choice he'd ever made. Then, to put an end to his misery, his phone buzzed.
duly noted. i shall prepare accordingly.
Ledger looked down at the message then laughed softly into the quiet kitchen. Because grief still lived here. Love was still frightening. Tomorrow wasn't promised. Memories lurked in these four walls.
But for the first time in years, someone new had stepped into the silence. And instead of wanting them to leave...he found himself reaching for his phone again.
i’m so sorry but no updates today - cos the england v ghana match just ended here in the uk and i’m absolutely knackered 🥲 so three updates tmrw!! goodnight love yall <33 mwah 💋
⤷ Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :)
He swallowed carefully. Then looked at the little girl sitting across from him. At the daughter Kenna had loved with her whole heart. At the daughter who still asked questions about a mother who she'd never truly gotten enough time with. And softly he answered back.
"Yeah."
Diem looked up immediately. "Wait, really?!"
Ledger smiled. It wasn't exactly a happy smile. Nor was it entirely sad. It was simply honest. "Yeah, bug." His voice grew quieter. "I think they woulda been friends."
Diem's entire friends brightened. "I think so too."
And at that small but so meaningful revelation, something inside his chest cracked open. Not painfully. Not all at once, just enough. Enough to let the light in.
*****
Across town, you stood in your kitchen staring at a kettle.
"You're smiling at it."
"I'm not."
"You absolutely are."
You looked away from the boiling water. Your sister folded her arms across her chest. "You've been staring at the kettle for five minutes."
"I...I've had a long day."
"You have a certain 'teacher exhaustion face'."
"I always have teacher exhaustion face."
"You also have..." she paused, narrowing her eyes suspicious but knowingly. "...whatever this is." she gestured to your love-stricken face.
You blinked. "What is 'this'?"
"The freakin' smile."
"What smile?"
"The one people get before they tell me somethin' absolutely ridiculous."
Curse older sister intuition - you thought as heat climbed your neck. There was a long pause. Then it blurted out. "IthinkI'minlovewithsomeonewhoalphabetiseshisdaughter'slunchsnacks."
Silence. Pure, awkward silence. "...What? Come again?"
"I-I don't know when it happened, it just did."
"Oh my God..."
"I genuinely don't." You said, trying to justify what you were feeling.
"When the hell were you planning on mentioning this?"
"That's the thing...I wasn't..."
Your sister stared at you. Your hands couldn't stop twisting around each other out of nervousness. But to your surprise (and relief), she promptly burst into laughter. You covered your face with both hands.
"Ugh...it's not funny."
"It absolutely is!"
"He's just..." your voice softened. "...He's so himself, and just so...him."
The laughter faded. "What does that mean?"
You hesitated. Because how could you possibly explain it in mere words? How could you put something so quiet into words? The way he knelt to tie Diem's laces. The way he remembered every detail that mattered to his daughter. The gentleness hidden beneath dry humour. The love woven into ordinary things.
The grief he carried without letting it harden him. The promise he'd made before the recital.
You'll look for me and I'll wave.
Your eyes burned unexpectedly. "I don't know," you whispered. "I just..." your voice broke around the edges. "I think he loves people very carefully."
Your sister's expression softened. "Oh honey."
"What?"
"You're gone.
You looked down into your tea. Then smiled helplessly, despite the tears threatening to come out of your tear ducts. "Yeah..."
Through The Waves - Tyriq Withers x Amira Blake (oc)
⤷ Amira Blake is in the final stretch of her pregnancy with her first child. After months of preparing, planning, and dreaming, early labour sets in. At home with her loving husband Tyriq, and surrounded by her doula, midwives, and mother, Amira begins the long and emotional journey of a home water birth. The story follows through her hours of contractions, moments of fear, waves of hope, and the unshakeable support of the people she loves most.
warnings: fluff, british OC (but can be read in any accent u want), set in London, emotional mess, ty being a girl dad asf <33 (ty took her last name btdubs)
I Don't Think I'm Doing This Right.
The morning had arrived quietly. There were not dramatic contractions, no more frantic phone calls, no excited tears from visitors meeting Zaliyah for the first time, no more overwhelming firsts.
Instead, the London sunlight filtered gently through the curtains, painting golden streaks across the bedroom walls while somewhere downstairs the washing machine drummed softly.
Their house smelled faintly of coffee, and baby shampoo, and despite how peaceful it all looked...Amira felt like she was absolutely drowning. She stood in front of her bathroom mirror, one hand braced against the sink whilst the other absentmindedly adjusted the oversized tee hanging from her frame.
Her reflection looked unfamiliar to her. Her hair sat in a messy knot on top of her head. Dark circles settled beneath her eyes. There were faint traces of dried tears she'd forgotten to wipe away completely after Zaliyah's early morning feed...cos Tyriq had always wiped them before they even fell.
And now? Everything hurt. Her back ached like hell. Her body was still foreign. Heavy. She'd barely slept. Barely eaten. Barely remembered whether she'd brushed her teeth before or after changing Zaliyah's nappy.
She looked...tired. No. She looked exhausted. Not the type of exhaustion that a nap can easily fix. The kind that settled deep into your bones. The kind that came from being needed every hour of every day.
The kind that came from loving someone so fiercely that you forgot where you ended and motherhood began.
She stared at herself. Then tears blurred her vision. "Oh, God."
The sound escaped her before she could attempt to stop it. Her breathing hitched. She pressed a hand over her mouth. Then all of a sudden, she couldn't breathe around it anymore. The tears came hard and fast.
Because Zaliyah had struggled to latch during one of her feeds that morning. Because she'd cried during a nappy change. Because Amira had accidentally put one of Zaliyah's sleepsuits on backwards and hadn't realised until Tyriq gently pointed it out.
Because everyone kept telling her she was doing so amazing. But she didn't feel amazing, not at all. In fact, she felt scared, overwhelmed, guilty for even being overwhelmed when she'd wanted this baby so desperately.
A quiet sob escaped. "I'm not doin' this right."
The bathroom door opened slowly. "Angel?"
Amira froze for such a short second. Tyriq was stood there wearing grey joggers and one of his old hoodies. His hair was still messy from sleep. Zaliyah rested against his chest in the baby carrier he'd insisted on trying despite claiming it looked "too complicated".
One tiny hand peeked out from the blanket tucked around her. She was asleep. He took one look at his wife. And everything changed. The softness left his posture immediately. Concern flooded his face.
"Baby?"
Amira shook her head quickly. "I'm okay."
Ty didn't move. "Mama."
"I'm okay, I promise."
His voice dropped to an octave that was only used for her. "Amira."
The use of her actual name broke whatever fragile control she'd managed to hold onto. A sob escaped her. Then another. And another. Before she knew it, sobs were taking over her body. "I don't think I'm doin' this right."
Tyriq crossed the room instantly. "Hey."
"I'm tryin' so-so hard."
His heart shattered over the fact that his wife, his world, his love is doubting herself. "I know, mama, I know."
"What if...what if she deserved someone better?..."
He blinked. Then blinked again. Because he surely ain't misheard. "What?"
Fresh tears slipped down Amira's cheeks. "WhatifI'mnotenough?"
The words came our rushed, as Tyriq stared at her. Then very carefully, he shifted Zaliyah's carrier to where he could wrap both arms around his wife. Amira collapsed into him instantly, as soon as she felt his warm embrace.
"I can't stop cryin'."
"Oh, angel.."
"I'm so tired, Ty."
"I know, baby."
"But, God, I love her so much that it hurts."
"I know."
"What if I mess her up? Like what if she doesn't grow up the way she deserves, and-and she decides she hates my parenting o-or even me-"
Tyriq pulled back just enough to cup her face between his hands. His own eyes had become suspiciously shiny. "Look at me."
Amira hesitated.
"Please." he begged.
Slowly, she lifted her gaze. "You carried her for nine freakin' months."
His thumbs brushed away her tears beneath her eyes. "You brough her into this world. You feed her. You hold her. You know exactly what her cries mean before I even do." his voice cracked towards the end.
"You sing to her when you think nobody is listenin'." A watery laugh escaped Amira. "You kiss her little fingers, you tell her good morning every. single. day."
His forehead rested against hers. "You are her mother."
The tears spilling down her cheeks doubled. "And there ain't nobody in this world God could've chose who could do that better than you."
She shook her head. "You don't know that."
"I do."
His voice didn't waver. "Because she looks for you, she settled against you, she knows your heartbeat." He pressed a trembling kiss against her forehead.
"You...you are her whole world, sweetheart."
Amira finally broke. Completely and utterly broke. She buried her face against his neck and cried. Not because she didn't love motherhood, God no. But because she did. Because she loved it enough to be terrified of getting it wrong.
Tyriq held her through every wave of fresh tears. Never once asking her stop. Eventually, a tiny squeak interrupted them. Both heads lowered. Zaliyah blinked up sleepily from the carrier.
Her tiny face scrunched. Then relaxed. As though sensing her mum's distress, one tiny hand escaped the blanked. Amira sniffled. "Oh, bub.."
Tyriq carefully lifted her out of the carrier and into Amira's arms. Immediately, instinctively, Zaliyah tucked herself against her mother's chest. Content, safe. Amira looked down.
Fresh tears slipped free. "I love you so so so much."
Tiny fingers wrapped around one of hers. Tyriq's strong-macho-man composure finally cracked. "Oh c'mon."
Amira looked up, and saw that his eyes were glistening.
"You two gotta stop doing that."
Despite everything, she laughed. Albeit softly and weakly, but genuinely. Ty leaned down, kissing the top of her head before kissing Zaliyah's tiny forehead. "My girls."
Amira leaned into him. "What if tomorrow I don't know what I'm doin' again?"
He smiled sadly. "Then we'll figure it out."
"And the day after?"
"We'll figure that out too."
"And after that?"
He pressed another kiss into her hair. "We've survived contractions. Wait no, you literally pushed an entire human being into this world. I'm sure we can survive figuring out nappies."
A breathless laugh escaped her. "I love you."
Tyriq's eyes softened instantly. "I know."
Amira narrowed hers. "You were supposed to say it back."
A grin tugged at his lips. "I love you more, ma."
He tucked her beneath his arms. "I always will."
Outside the bathroom window, the morning carried on. Birds sang. Cars passed. The washing machine continued its endless cycle downstairs.
Ordinary sounds. Ordinary moments. And nestled between her parents, Zaliyah yawned sleepily before drifting back to sleep, unaware that she'd just taught them one of the biggest lessons of parenthood:
You don't have to do it perfectly. You just have to keep showing up. Again. And again. And again.
