man i love vampires

✴ emma ✴ 25 ✴ vampire in training/lover/apologist ✴

[pudgy-planets]

Everyone has goth sex hormones it came free with your fucking existence.

[pudgy-planets]

BOTH I MEANT

BOTH

[lourainwoods-in-the-woods]

[assiraphales]

westley in the princess bride was so funny for being like ‘talk about this dead guy you loved lol’ and getting the tea about himself

[assiraphales]

oh he was ur true love? you thought he was hot n strong? rate him 1-10 and why

[xalatath]

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

[aropride]

[sprinkledsalt]

Some women will never want children in their life in any meaningful capacity. They don't want to give birth. They don't want to adopt. They don't want to be the fun auntie. They don't want to be a godmother. They don't want to work in a field with children. They will never change a child's diaper and don't believe their lack of childcare skills is a problem that needs fixing, because childcare is not a crucial part of the human experience, with billions of people on the planet. They go about their day while only seeing kids out at the grocery store or at the park, and nothing is missing from their lives.

The refusal to accept this is driving a global right-wing backlash movement.

[mysticmistral]

[smilepuppydotjpeg]

this is fucking hilarious

[dorkish98]

Warframe is so funny to me. Sometimes a family is a robot pretendeding to be your adopted mother who then splinters into three separate but conjoined identities, her child she rescued from a shipwreck who got magic space powers from a god that made them kill their own biological parents for its amusement, an alternate timeline copy of the kid who never got rescued and instead was trapped in a magical fairytale world where they got executed and brought back to life on repeat for years before usurping the fictional king and claiming his power over time, their uncle/fighting instructor who hates their adoptive robot mother, a former mass murderer that regreted being a mass murderer and was turned into a glorifed virtual assistant for crime of not wanting to be a mass murderer anymore, a family of former royalty that got infected with a space virus that made them ten times larger and also meat flowers, the gay grandpa of that family who *isn't* infected but *is* haunted by the same god that made the kid kill their parents and is also the reason the god exists in the first place,-

(deep breathe)

-his butler/lover, their cat, three sapient talking animals, the alternate timeline copy's time-traveling polycule, the robot mom's giant robot dad, his estranged son that joined a cult, a single-minded killer that the robot dad also adopted(NOT a robot), his dead wife, AND their child that (as of writing this) seems to have somehow split into two alter egos that are locked in a deathmatch together that it causing mayhem across Venus.

[packetdancer]

For anyone who doesn't play Warframe and thinks this is ridiculous: literally all of this is accurate.

It also leaves out the fact that somehow the developers got Werner Herzog to voice the aforementioned eldritch space god for an advertisement, among other equally absurd things.

Come join us. Embrace the insanity.

[rookinthecrownest]

being a new warframe player is a crazy experience because you will realize you need a frumple gun to do better damage but you can only get it after farming a specific bleeblorp from Mars, and it can only be unlocked on the 3rd new moon of the year. But in order to get the purgle to process the bleeblorp u must first gain enough street cred with the local Crimbus syndicate. You will need to do 5 million missions for them to be able to rank yourself up enough to buy the purgle. Congrats you’ve ranked up enough to buy the purgle. Except you’ve only bought the blue print. You now need to farm even more components. You do all this and the frumple gun is mastery locked.

[noodlebuoy1]

it is fun

with the sole exceptions of solo interception and defection in general

harrow farm is hard

[theterribletenno]

[stellarseph]

Okay but like how do we know the person asking isn't also trans and a lesbian

[lastpositivist]

[onlytiktoks]

[kienava]

[floridensis]

in my last botany lab the professor had a prepared slide of diatoms set up for us to look at and i was not prepared for how delightful the slide looked

[glubshit]

[eroscestlavie]

normally I would not just screenshot myself and post it here but it’s Friday and I’m feeling lazy

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[kaylmao]

[kaylmao]