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[vanessa239]

Hope

Little Green light of you being Active Now on a platform that is supposed to bring people together

I hope beyond hope that you message me first My heart races faster as time goes on

And in the end, you just go out

Now I feel like how Gatsby felt with Daisy and her dock light

[vanessa239]

Music & Memories

Neutral Milk Hotel still makes me think of someone. It makes me feel safe and I can hear his funny sounds and see his mismatched eyebrows.

Ed Sheeran still makes me think of someone. It makes me feel nauseous and like everything is fake and it sows so much doubt and anger. 

Lee Brice still makes me smile. The country dancing, the long nights at the library and driving someone home. That feeling that I could do this forever.

EDEN still makes my soul quiver. It fluctuates between fear and recklessness and soaring. It makes me think of the time we got into a car crash

Broadway still makes me think of people who are idealists. I still feel disillusionment...with whom I am not sure. 

ZZ Top still makes me think of someone who doesn’t listen and can’t focus. I still feel frustration and need to pause. 

Blue October still makes me think of a time when I didn’t have too much homework and it was raining. This one will always be my own.

[vanessa239]

More

He wasn’t patient enough

He wasn’t ambitious enough

He was too tall, too short, not funny, too funny, 

He comes from a bad family. 

...

I wasn’t patient enough

I was too ambitious.

I was too tall to be cute. too short to be graceful. too awkward to be funny.

I come from a difficult family. 

...

At least I knew it wasn’t going to work this time.  

[vanessa239]

I’m here

I’ve texted you with no reply

Happy Birthday

I’ve emailed you with no reply

I’m sorry. Again. I’m going to therapy.

I don’t know if you see my posts.

I found someone! we are so happy. 

I’m alone again but working on me.

I still miss your moon boots and talking to you. 

Just know that I’m here if you ever need me. 

[vanessa239]

Fall back into my arms or fall out of my life. None of this in between shiz

Some badass bish

[vanessa239]

Paddle slowly now

Time passes quickly now that I have the opportunity for absolution, to destroy this loneliness inside me that has eaten me from the inside out. I pray that my grandiose gesture will be received and that it may be a beginning to normalcy.

[simplypoems]

paddle slowly now with purpose for the stormy winds still blow and the wild sea still churns and the bearings have been lost momentarily but I’ve stopped drilling holes in the damn hull

[vanessa239]

Am I pretty enough?

Cute guy? Gay or sexually ambiguous

Nice guy? Too old and awkward demeanor

Handsome man? Has no interest in me but definitely got the blonde’s number

Boyfriend? He asked five girls for nudes and then took a girl to a party without asking or telling me

Ex? Oh yea he fell for another girl

[vanessa239]

Run on -i

I don’t want to scroll anymore I don’t want to click anymore I hate coming up for a distraction and  Instead I see your pain I keep wondering if these almost  Iambic pentameters are about her Illusive and perfect her even though I have never met her I imagine she definitely treats you better than I did

I don’t want to get up anymore I don’t want to wake up anymore with Icy tears and a hole in my bed and a hole In my heart but I know I should be grateful for such an Inspirational opportunity Instead I drink to sleep and I wake up in the middle of the night  Imagining a body next to mine that In spite of everything still loves me Irrevocably and unconditionally  I didn’t know betrayal when we started I didn’t know how good we had it In the greenness or greediness I left you with yourself again Isolated myself from the one person who Irrationally kept coming back to my abuse I am truly sorry and if  I could go back in time to the beginning If I could still be with you I would  

[vanessa239]

Los Angeles

There is something about LA in the summer. The smell of gardenias in the afternoon and going to outdoor amphitheater concerts. Hollywood Bowl, Ford Amphitheater, Plaza de Cultura. The smell of tacos and wine bottles. The warm buzz and fuzzy feelings of nostalgia and all of unassuming beauty around me. There is something about it. 

[vanessa239]

Had to type the word Salad a lot. It felt weird cause my muscle memory always corrected it to Salsa

VV

[vanessa239]

Be still, my heart, thou hast known worse than this, on that day when the Cyclops, unrestrained in fury, devoured the mighty men of my company...

Odysseus

[vanessa239]

Poor yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together.

Anna Kendrick

[vanessa239]

When Guys Talk About Women

When boys describe the "perfect woman" a girl can feel a whole lot less perfect

[vanessa239]

Adult things

Symptoms of allergy to furniture assembly include miraculously becoming illiterate or spontaneously falling asleep when it's time to build the furniture.

...

My favorite symptom is the sudden illiteracy.

-KC

[vanessa239]

I just finished dancing fusion and walking home. All I got are good vibes

VV

[vanessa239]

Encounters #1

Got complimented on my collar bones. 

Me: Oh thank you! I forgot that I had those!