Vanessa

i'm here to share my thought

[vanessahporter]

YOUR NAME ENGRAVED HEREIN

My most favorite scene in ‘Your name engraved herein’ is when Jia Han and Birdy took a walk together in Canada. At that time, Birdy confessed his love to Jia Han. All emotion nearly exploded. It seems like loads of burdens were all put down. I can see Jia Han’s feeling through his face. He is thoroughly disappointed because why Birdy told him this when they closely turned 50. Why didn’t he say it before? Jia Han wanted to cry profoundly, but he tried to control himself for not being a person who is likely suffering such fierce grief. At that moment, I also could answer all my suspicions. I used to confuse Birdy’s feelings, whether he truly loved Jia Han or not. After all, I acknowledge that Birdy hid his love perfectly. I know he had some feelings for Jia Han, but I’m not sure if he was serious. However, when Birdy met Jia Han in Canada, according to their conversation, I admit that Birdy loved Jia Han so much. When it comes to Jia Han, it is undoubtedly that Jia Han unconditionally and completely loved Birdy. His love for Birdy was the only concern of himself, and he was willing to fight for his love, specifically for Birdy. He dared to fight against this world. In a contrary manner, Birdy knew how severe it was when they were together. He had seen how much tragedy the LBGT community had overcome. He understood how abominable it was when you were gay in the 80s. There were so many obstacles that a gay couple had to accomplish at the current time. Therefore, Birdy wanted to set Jia Han apart from his world by dating Ban Ban and hurting him. It was prominent in the scene Jia Han’s friends chasing Birdy. Jia Han tried to protect Birdy, but Birdy left Jia Han back and ran away. That spot proved that he wanted Jia Han to have an untroubled life. Birdy sacrificed his life to protect Jia Han, I guessed. 

When Jia Han called Birdy after entering university, they both were crying. Jia Han was conclusively deep in pain. Birdy was torture also or perhaps even more than Jia Han. Jia Han was sad because they couldn’t be together. Birdy had the same pain as Jia Han, and he felt guilty, too. Birdy felt sorry for having hurt Jia Han. Although he didn’t want it, he forced himself to do it. Eventually, when they were old and had more freedom, Birdy confessed his love for Jia Han. At least, to me, it’s a happy ending. I especially love the scenes when Birdy said ‘wan an’ to Jia Han in front of the hotel where Jia Han stayed. As far as is known, ‘wan an’ in English means good night, but in the movie, it means Wo ai ni, ai ni. It denotes I love you, love you. Jia Han said it twice while Birdy spoke it three times. Maybe three times here means the 30-year-untold love. However, the spot is Birdy also did and still does love Jia Han. I believe that they will keep loving each other. Perhaps the feeling could not be as excruciating as when they were young; notwithstanding, the love flame is still on fire in secret. I think they will be together after coming back to China and spend the rest of their beside each other. Right now, there is no fence between them anymore.

In addition, everybody is wondering why Jia Han did not find Birdy when they were in college. I guess Jia Han wanted to, but Birdy avoided meeting him. You all know Birdy had to redo the entrance exam to enter the university. He was aware of his vague future, especially that he did not want to bother Jia Han. Then, they all graduated and had a job. Jia Han stopped finding Birdy because Birdy was married. Although many years passed, Jia Han still missed Birdy so much. He decided to find Birdy one more time to know how he was then. The situation after that happened in the movie. 

To wrap up, from my point of view, Your name engraved herein is not the best movie, but it is still meaningful. It did leave a favorable impression on me. The acting of the two main actors and their chemistry are charismatic. They are good-looking, too. It is worth watching, honestly! 

By the way, I love calling Birdy instead of calling his real name. Maybe because the name Birdy describes precisely his disposition. He is insane, a boy loving freedom. He is abstracted but aware of this bitter reality.

[vanessahporter]

LOVE OF SIAM 

(my main opinion - main point of the movie)

I believe “Love of Siam” didn’t have a bad or sad ending, it’s OE. It’s just about the time. As can be seen from the movie, we can see that at the first time, Tong’s mother didn’t allow Tong to remain the relationship with Mew.  However, when Christmas came, his mother asked him that what he would choose and Tong chose the male doll, which means he loves a man. His mother replied to him that he should choose what made him feel happy. Because of that answer, I believe that the fence stopping his relationship with Mew was broken. Nevertheless, why he said to Mew that he couldn’t be Mew's boyfriend but it didn’t mean he didn’t love Mew. In my opinion, he had to choose his family first. His father has a serious disease, his mom is the only economic pillar in the family. His responsibility at the moment is to take care of his parents. He can’t put all of his mind into love business now. Especially, even though Tong has permission from his mom, but she still needs time to get used to it. Let’s imagine if he and Mew were lovers, then his mom could feel uncomfortable, combining his father’s problem, she could be very stressful. Tong just don’t want his mother to suffer the hardness alone. 

In conclusion, I have an extremely strong belief that in the future, they will be together again. At that time, Tong’s family already get through their tough time. Mew and his band become successful. 

They were just high school students at that time (2007), they’re learning to grow up. Now is 2020, which means 13 years later, perhaps, they’re together

[vanessahporter]

“No matter who you are, love is still to love without any reason. Because love starts from your heart, it is your feeling”.

That is my conclusion for “Dew let’s go together” or “Dew The movie”. Dew the movie is the story about two boys whose names Pop and Dew. Their love began in the late 90s. At that time, Thailand was not a paradise for LGBT people. Almost all of them thought that being gay or lesbian was an illness. Pop knew he had fallen for Dew, so did Dew. However, Pop did know what would happen if he and Dew had come out. Because of that situation, Dew and Pop did not talk to each other anymore. Dew was opposed to Pop. He was not afraid of this world that much. He just wanted to be with Pop. The more Pop denied his feeling, the stronger and angrier Dew’s feeling became. When students knew that Dew is gay, they keep bullying him. The school council decided to send Dew to the military to “re-educate” Dew. Pop did not want Dew to suffer those painful activities; therefore, he enters the military instead of Dew. After that, Pop’s family found out what he had done. They discharged him out of his house. Pop could not stand this matter any longer. Then, he decided to move to Bangkok. He wanted to go with Dew, so he asked Dew if he wanted to go with him. Unfortunately, Dew refused that invitation because he did not want to left his mother alone. Yet, he quickly changed his mind. When Pop got on the train, Dew came in front of the train station and got into an accident. Dew passed away. Because of this tragedy, Pop has been in sorrow for 23 years. 

After two decades, he came back to Pang Noi, where he met Dew. Pop presently becomes a teacher at his old high school. He meets a girl named Lew. Coincidentally, the characteristic of Lew is strangely similar to that of Dew. Lew is suffering a tough time at school. She is an isolated girl who could not get used to the culture of Pang Noi. Pop does not want Lew will become the second Dew. He tries to help Lew as much as he can. Gradually, he realizes that Lew is the reincarnation of Dew. Lew struggles with herself, whether she is Dew or Lew. All the memories between Dew and Pop get back to her mind. Eventually, she identifies that she is Dew. They declare their love for each other. When everybody knows their story, Pop decides to resign. Lew also quits school. They get on the train to somewhere they can be happy truthfully. Eventually, Pop completes their promise that they will go to New Zealand to play Bungee. At the Bungee station, they killed themselves. Because they do know that is the only way to be together. They do not want to grow up.

8.4/10

Here are some of my opinions about the story //

- Why do both Lew and Pop decide to suicide?

When Pop came back to Pang Noi and met Lew, the feeling he has hidden for 23 years exploded. Pop understands that if he still keeps this guilty feeling, he will suffer more pain, but he doesn’t want to throw it away. Because if he threw those pains away, he would have to forget everything about Dew. However, he can’t do that because Dew is the most beautiful memory in his life. I could see that he loves Dew a lot. After 23 years, that love does not change even just a little. 

He has held his pain for 23 years, he dug it in the bottom of his heart, but Lew “wakes” it up. Pop can not stand any longer. He misses Dew so bad that he nearly has thought he would suicide to meet Dew. I believe that without Lew’s appearance, Pop still intends to kill himself. He has lived a world without Dew for 23 years, which is beyond his limit. Therefore, Lew’s appearance is just a gift for him. Because when they die together, they can hold each other’s hands to move to another happier world.

The fact is that Pop is old now. He will leave Lew (Dew) alone when he passed away. Lew has nothing but Pop. She will kill herself after Pop’s death or maintain a hurtful life. It sounds terrible, doesn't it? Subsequently, they decided to leave this world. If they can be reincarnated, they can be Dew and Pop like before. They can grow up and get old together again.

[vanessahporter]

Love, Simon: Meaningful, touching, glad and Proud!

t’s quite late to watch this movie now, but I promised myself that I would complete the novel first. Thank God, finally, I did it. Recently, I’ve done the movie, too. I love this film so much, it’s not very painful or grievous but it’s touching and meaningful.

[ SPOILED ]

Because I read the novel before thus there’re something in the movie that I don’t satisfy, anyway I have to say that I love this movie. The first thing I don’t like about the film is Blue. I like the actor who played the role, Bram. I just dislike the way the director built this character on the screen. In my view, the novel Blue is romantic and sweet, unfortunately, Blue on the cinema didn’t show up those points. I just want people who didn’t read the novel before can understand more about Blue, because he’s interesting and very attractive. I wish that Bram had more time on-screen and there’re more moments between Simon and Bram. I want to see more aspects of Bram and Blue. But of course, I think Keiynan is very suitable to play Bram. I will say this, though it’s kinda stupid, but to be honest I like Lyle is Blue more. I don’t know I just see that their eyes when they looked at each other is so sweet and warm like even Lyle is not Blue but he has feeling with Simon, over a friend. When Lyle asked Simon about Abby, I think it’s just his excuse to find a subject to talk to Simon. The scene in which everybody read Simon’s post on Tumblr, I saw Cal and Lyle smiled slightly, I don’t know why but it’s like they’re proud of him (or because they liked him XD They’re both bisexual). It just my feeling, perhaps the director wants to distract everyone and keep Blue’s identity still a secret!

Another thing I don’t like about the movie is Blue again. His behavior when he knew everything is so awkward and quite cruel. Even though I can understand why, but I want Blue to be braver. However, while I’m typing those words, I think, yes Blue is just like Simon. They’re both afraid of this world, people might not like them. It’s pretty terrifying. I sympathize with Blue. Simon in the novel and movie is braver than Blue. I’m proud of him so much like Blue said Simon inspired him, undoubtedly. Despite my dislike, I still love this detail. Because it’s more real, nothing can be hidden forever. In the novel, Blue didn’t see the Tumblr post but the movie. Seemingly, the director wants the characters to face their fears. It can be understood, easily and it’s creative.

When I think more carefully about this movie, specifically the characters. In my opinion, the director succeeded in building them on the screen, I know it might pretty opposite with the view above, but if I look closer, I see that both novel and movie Blue has the same behavior. Because Blue in the novel didn’t know about the post, therefore he didn’t freak out, but it took a very long time for Simon and Blue to meet each other in person. At that time, Simon used to mad at Blue too. Just nearly like the movie, Simon had been waiting for Blue for a very long time. Because Blue is a little bit hesitant. 

There are a bunch of other things that make me fall in love with Love, Simon. I love the scene when Ms. Albright shouted at those assholes (it’s even stronger and ruder than in the novel) and Ethan, such a cool bitch. I know he’s scared sometimes but he’s strong, very strong. I love Ethan’s friends too, they’re friendly and always protect him. It’s pretty bad that the scene Abby and Taylor protect Simon didn’t occur on the screen. The actors are successful in transmitting the situation, they helped me to feel more about the circumstance. How Simon felt when his best friends left and Blue blocked him, he’s just alone… facing the fucking troubles alone. It’s pretty horrible but he still has family beside and I’m happy for him. When his father said ‘sorry’ to Simon, I did cry. I can see and understand completely why Simon’s dad cried. He felt guilty because of his old jokes and why he didn’t know anything. However, it’s hard to know, that is Simon’s huge secret. It’s not his father’s fault. His father should proud of himself because he’s a great dad, not a lot of man can accept it easily like him, even felt guilty. I love Simon’s family a lot, they’re so open-minded and friendly. I’m sure that I like the movie dad than the novel one because he’s kinda more thoughtful (one of the reasons is he’s sort of hot XD). By the way, Martin again used to make me feel sick about him (sorry I’m too negative) but eventually he became cute again. It’s fucking funny when he admitted that he’s Blue, kidding me. Then, he paid those tickets to let Simon can keep waiting for Blue. The most touching moment is when people including Simon’s friends stood by him while he’s waiting for Blue. They all hoped for Simon that Blue will come and didn’t stopping saying something to support Simon. That scene is super elegant and meaningful. It’s like the director wants to send a message that there’re lots of people supporting the LBGT community. I know Blue is extremely afraid of those coming out thing and it needs time to adjust, anyway finally he came, it means he has already got through this challenge. That’s the point. Congratulations Blue!

Transforming a movie from the novel is not easy but Love, Simon is over successful. Every scene and spotlight had been brought into this movie in a very elegant way. You can’t require a transform movie to be precise the main novel; however Love, Simon brought not only the best of this novel but also the personality of each character, even the smallest detail. Like Simon said Blue had carefully chosen every single word while texting him, that’s a unique point of Blue in the novel. Because in the novel, Blue is a grammar nerd. Hence you can see how much effort which the director put in this amazing movie. 

Subsequently, I love this movie and it slowly and slightly touches everybody’s heart. It takes my tears and my heart. I love Nick Robinson, he’s a perfect selection for this main role, Simon Spier. Leah is the most attractive girl in my mind, she’s kind and generous. I love Abby who is so cute and energetic but thoughtful and Nick is such a funny guy. Once I thought that Garret might be Blue (who knows). Bram is a cute guy and not brave but strong and knows how to get through those hard times, Simon inspired him. Lyle looks like Andrew Garfield and sweet, too. He’s too soft with Simon. Cal is the most handsome guy. Nora is an adorable girl, she’s maturer than her age. Mr. and Mrs. Spier are the most tolerant parents ever!

Thanks this movie for inspiring me and everyone else <3

[vanessahporter]

Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda

[SPOILED SLIGHTY]

I bought this book in February of 2019 but up until now, I’ve had time to read it completely. Because my studying work took all my time. After a few times, I’ve done this book. I have to say that this novel is worth buying and worth reading a lot, I’m sure with you guys. If you’re interested, I would recommend this book. I will extract a comment of Entertainment Weekly about Simon vs The homo sapiens agenda, “Worthy of Fault in Our Stars-level obsession”.  I’ve obsessed with this novel because of its cuteness.

General circumstance of the novel

“Simon Spier is 16 and trying to work out who he is and what he’s looking for. But when one of his emails to the very distracting Blue falls into the wrong hands, things get all kinds of complicated. Because, for Simon, falling for Blue is a big deal…

And Blue is his pen pal. They contact by emailing each other”

I have to say that Simon is such a cute guy, especially when he’s talking or thinking about Blue. My conclusion is that Simon’s mine is full of the boy named Blue ^^ My first impression on Blue that he’s a kind and good boy. Then, things get different when I read the novel. I can see that Blue is so naughty and ‘dirty romantic’, like “Reese is better than sex” (one of their email subject). I remember a phrase from Blue “Dick Weather”, omg, the kind Blue is now replaced by the naughty Blue!! But anyway, I think that his cuteness. I love reading their emails so much. It’s over romantic and too sweet, but it’s a unique point in their relationship. Simon and Blue became friends and then lovers. That’s a long process. They’ve get through a lot of moments and everything started when one of their emails was being blackmailed by Martin Addison. Martin had a crush on Abby, Simon’s friend. Simon had to help him to get closer to Abby. It’s hard and very uncomfortable for Simon. He was really scared that this problem will destroy his good relationship with Blue and Abby, because seemingly

Blue is a private guy and he doesn’t want to show up his identity.

For the first time, I extremely didn’t like Martin, because he brought Simon so many troubles. I felt so sad for him. Simon had been in such a hard time, dealing with those things wasn’t easy at all. Especially when Martin misunderstood Simon and he told everyone that Simon is gay, which is Simon’s private thing and Simon is supposed to come out himself. But then, I think again, well Martin is not bad at all. He apologized sincerely to Simon, I think he’s just too childish and too mad. Martin deserves forgiveness from Simon, but it’s hard to become a friend. I remember a sentence from Martin’s apologized letter that if he had had another chance, he would have blackmailed Simon but for making friends with Simon not Abby thing.

At least in Simon’s toughest time, he had his parents and his best friends beside and support him.

This story taught me not only friendship but also the meaning of family. I can understand my parents more. They’re kinda like Simon’s parents. Simon hated being noticed all the time, even the smallest change of him. Then, his mom explained that because he’s too precious to them, and even it’s a tiny change of him, but it still attracted them strongly and they love him very much. Thus, when my parents act like Simon’s family, I now understand and don’t get mad or uncomfortable like before. I like their attitude when Simon came out to his family. Simon’s father tried to make a joke, though it’s silly and not hilarious, but seemingly he’s trying to make Simon feel comfortable and know that he’s ok with it. I remember Simon’s father said that Simon had been pregnant lol.

Back to Simon and Blue’s relationship, my favorite point of this novel. Well, in the middle of this story, I don’t like Blue, even though I understand that maybe he was not ready for meeting Simon in person. Both of them were afraid that meeting face to face might destroy their great relationship. But I see that Simon was braver than Blue. He’s trying to find Blue by every single clue which he had, though sometimes it’s wrong. Because he fell in love with Blue and he appreciated Blue a lot. However, I can see his effort. Because Blue’s identity is so mysterious, hence it’s difficult to understand what Blue is thinking or feeling. After some slight argument between Blue and Simon, Blue did something, which was honest and so sweet. For instance, he sent his gift to Simon which was a T-shirt that had Elliott Smith’s photo on it (Simon’s idol). This gift was secretly enclosed with a note inside it. Blue wrote his phone number and told Simon that he likes him. It’s so romantic. I know that he wanted to ease and say sorry to Simon. Because Simon wanted to meet Blue in person but Blue didn’t want that maybe Blue is just like Simon, afraid of changing when they come out to this world and Blue had known who Simon is already, it’s very unfair. That made Simon is very sad, also mad.

[ i won’t say who is blue XD ]

I extremely love, the time Simon and Blue met each other in person, it’s sort of sweet. While they’re in love with each other, it’s fucking amazing. I can see another side of Blue, the softest Blue. On their first dating day, Blue took Simon out to have lunch. They had miniature Oreo and milk for lunch, strangely that they used spoons to eat Oreo, gosh, so adorable. Because Blue knew clearly that Simon is fucking in love with Oreo, he even had an Oreo diet. Then, they kissed each other. I love them so so much *crying*.

Generally, I think if you guys love reading or have so much free time, you should read this novel. It’s not gonna waste your time, I’m sure. Not only does it bring slight entertainment, but also many meanings about life, including family, friendship, love, and the LBGT community. They’re all so touching.