♪~Yearning
Featuring: Sebek Zigvolt
A/N: wait it was his MOM that was human right? Or was it his dad?? I forgot PLEASE DONT SUE ME
sebek falls in love with you and immediately decides it is a terrible idea. not because of you—never because of you. the problem, as far as he is concerned, is himself. at first, the feelings are easy enough to ignore. you are someone he admires deeply. someone courageous, kind, and stubborn enough to throw yourself into danger for the sake of others despite lacking the magical abilities everyone else at nrc takes for granted. so of course he respects you, of course he enjoys your company, of course he finds himself seeking you out more often than before. that means nothing. at least, that's what he insists.
unfortunately, his heart has other plans. slowly, your presence begins working its way into every corner of his life. his eyes search for you automatically in crowded rooms. his mood improves whenever you approach him. he remembers details about you without trying. your favorite foods, the expressions you make when you're concentrating, the way your smile changes depending on whether you're amused, embarrassed, or genuinely happy. before long, thoughts of you become so common that he barely notices them anymore.
then one day lilia teases him about it, and suddenly he's forced to confront a truth he has been avoiding for months. he loves you. completely and hopelessly. and the realization terrifies him. most people assume sebek's greatest insecurity comes from his temper or his tendency to be overly intense. they're wrong. the insecurity runs much deeper than that. sebek has spent most of his life trying to prove himself. trying to prove he is worthy of standing beside malleus. trying to prove he is worthy of carrying the zigvolt name. trying to prove that his human blood does not make him lesser.
no matter how fiercely he loves his family, no matter how proudly he speaks of his mother, there is still a small part of him that remembers every sneer, every dismissive comment, every subtle reminder that he is not fully fae. he remembers being looked down upon. being questioned. being treated as though part of him is something to overcome rather than embrace. most days, he buries those feelings beneath hard work and determination. then he falls in love with you, and suddenly all those old wounds begin reopening. because once sebek allows himself to imagine a future with you, he cannot stop comparing himself to others.
full-blooded fae. powerful mages. people who seem completely comfortable with who they are. people who don't spend every day trying to prove they belong. no matter how irrational it is, a part of him begins wondering if you would be happier with someone else. someone stronger. someone simpler. someone who isn't caught between two worlds. the thought eats away at him slowly. every time you smile at him, he feels warmth bloom in his chest, followed almost immediately by guilt. every time you seek him out, hope begins to rise before he forces it back down again. because what right does he have to hope for something like this? what right does he have to want you when there are surely better choices standing all around him?
the worst part is that you never seem to notice any of this. you treat him exactly the same as always. you smile when you see him. you listen when he speaks. you seek out his company without hesitation. there is no judgment in your eyes, no discomfort, no indication that you view him as anything less than exactly who he is. somehow, that only makes things harder. because if you hated him, this would be easy. if you found him annoying or unbearable, he could simply move on. instead, you are kind to him. kind enough that he starts wondering. kind enough that he starts hoping.
one afternoon, the two of you are sitting together beneath a tree after classes, talking aimlessly about home and family. the conversation drifts toward his mother, and before he can stop himself, sebek finds himself speaking about her more openly than usual. the moment the words leave his mouth, embarrassment settles heavily in his stomach.binstinctively, he braces himself. some old reflex tells him to expect awkwardness. hesitation. judgment.binstead, you simply smile and say, "she sounds wonderful." that's it. no pause. no strange look. no reminder that she is human. just genuine warmth and affection.
in that moment, something inside him cracks. because while he has spent years fearing that people would see his humanity as a flaw, you accepted it without a second thought. as if there was never anything wrong with it to begin with. as if there was never anything wrong with him. suddenly, all those fears he has been carrying feel unbearably heavy. all this time, he has been convinced that loving you was foolish because surely, eventually, you would see him the way he sometimes sees himself. incomplete. lesser. not enough. yet here you are, looking at him with the same fondness you've always shown. looking at him as though he is simply sebek. not half-human nor half-fae. just sebek.
and for the first time, he finds himself wondering whether maybe—just maybe—that could be enough. the thought is terrifying. hope always is. but as he watches you smile at him, he realizes something important. he loves you far too much to keep letting fear decide everything for him. and if you can accept every part of who he is so effortlessly, then perhaps it is finally time he learns how to do the same.
