venn/cherry/nil. 29. ey/he/they. system host. this is a kink blog run by a kink alter. i am here to be sexy and insane. read my carrd before following. https://vanillachaiwhiskey.carrd.co/ blinkie collection
(translation: this is my kink and autonecro blog!)
i post about the following things as kinks:
petplay
murder/(auto)necrophilia
feedism
dumbification
weed/alcohol/etc.
and more! those are just the big ones
i make moodboards and text posts about these things!
i am an autonecrophile! which means i am a paraphile! i do not want anti-para interaction thank you very much but i am also strictly anti-contact and do not fucking want pro-contact interaction either
please check out my carrd especially if you want to know what other kinks to expect here, need to blacklist certain things and want to know how it's tagged, and/or want to engage with me in a kink capacity (which i'm open to!)
i am ace-spec and none of my kinks other than deathplay are sexual, and the way i prefer to talk about the sexual aspect of that kink is not very (sexually) graphic, so depending on how you prefer your kink, this may or may not be the blog for you! depending on how sexually graphic your blog is and your tagging contentions, i might not be able to follow back.
i am in a system and my alters make kink posts on here too! it's tagged as "alterposting: [name]". one of our alters has faer own blog at @bigcatbutch!
alternatively i could just turn this into my self-ship blog since i really haven't been doing much kinkposting lately but the kinks i talk about on here are the ones from the self-ship mostly
okay once i figure out more things about my self-ship i'm going to make a blog about it, and i think i might end up talking about the real stuff i'm using the blog to cope with on there, too. anyone reading this who wants it can have it, i honestly just might make a link to it on this blog since i don't mind anyone from here seeing it.
How do you define paraphilia recovery? People have differing views and I am curious on learning varying views.
That's a good question! I've done a lot of research in this area and am probably more cynical than most, but I'm definitely happy to give my view.
Long ass post below the cut.
Firstly, not all paraphilias require recovery (think objectum, urophilia, coprophilia, dacryphilia, etc.), unless they cause psychological distress. In which case, the recovery portion would be learning to accept those feelings. Whether that ends in acting on the paraphilia in some sort of kink scenario or simply accepting that it's there depends on the person.
For paraphilias that would infringe upon consent (think the big 3, somnophilia, biastophilia, exhibitionism, etc.), it also really depends on the specific person and their goals. I'm a firm believer in the fact that a paraphilia can't be "erased," so there's entirely no point in trying to*. I will always be attracted to what I'm attracted to, whether I want to be or not.
For paraphilias such as those, the most important thing is harm reduction. Learning that your attractions don't make you an inherently bad person or more "dangerous" than the general population. Whether someone fully accepts their paraphilia or not also depends on the person, but I believe it's extremely important to teach people with those paraphilias that their attraction is not synonymous with predation. It does not make them a predator. Otherwise, you're contributing to a self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e. "if everyone thinks I'm a monster even though I've never acted on it, what's the point in fighting it?"), which is harmful to the paraphile and the people around them.
If they need to learn it, teaching impulse control tactics can be very helpful, even if just teaching them to divert it to something else (i.e. reading or writing instead of acting. Journaling can be GREAT. Even if it's erotic journaling). I, myself, have a lot of problems with maladaptive daydreaming which has been taken over by my paraphilias, and I'm still working with my therapist on how to stop it from being maladaptive, so I can't say I have much on the topic of intrusive thoughts or fantasies. If mindfulness works for them, that's awesome. It does not work for me, it does not work for everyone. I do find that journaling them helps, though. Not a whole lot, but sometimes getting the thoughts out of my head helps me let go of them (with the added fear of someone finding those writings, but at this point I'm just happy for them to be gone for more than an hour).
I also believe that fiction and kink are great outlets. Fiction is rather obvious, but with kink, this can include things such as CNC, nonhuman toys, ageplay (though that likely won't work for everyone), bloodplay, roleplay, consensual somno kinks... the list goes on. I have complicated thoughts on fictional visual depictions, so I won't get into that particular thing unless you'd like me to. But other than my thoughts on that, I fully believe fiction and kink are very healthy outlets for paraphilic desires, despite what some like to claim. Fantasy does not equal desire to act. I have more to say on that, but this post is long enough already.
Not engaging with your paraphilia in some way or another if you truly feel the need to can result in even worse internal stigma and shame. This is actually one of the largest predictors of offending (along with ASPD but I'm not a particular fan of demonizing personality disorders. Especially one that I literally have). Feeling like you've been ostracized from society for something that you can't control can break a person. No matter whether it's for a paraphilia or not. It's an extremely dehumanizing feeling, and feeling dehumanized can cause a lot of aggression.
I guess, all that to say, I don't believe eradication of paraphilia is possible. But I do believe that they can be healthily controlled. Recovery, for me, is being able to accept one's paraphilia without shame, though I don't believe pride is required (and believe it can be harmful in some instances, as well). As long as someone can control themselves (which most of us are actually pretty damn good at. You get good at it yourself when you're scared of seeking help) and has a healthy outlet for their desires if they need one, I believe that's a "recovered" paraphile.
I hope this helps! If you have any further questions or desire elaboration on any points, don't hesitate to ask!
* There is nuance here! Sometimes intrusive thoughts and fantasies can be mistaken for attractions (they aren't always synonymous). Sometimes trauma responses can result in pseudo-paraphilic thoughts. POCD is also just... a thing (which I thought I had for a while! But I do not, much to my chagrin). All of these things can be treated, and while the paraphilic thoughts may not always disappear entirely, they can be minimized. In these cases, it's more important to treat the underlying cause than the paraphilic thoughts, unless they're at risk of acting on them. Then harm reduction comes first and treatment of the underlying cause comes second.
i am about to create a self-ship that has both incest and necrophilia in it but not at the same time and it also isn't encouraging the incest but it is encouraging the necrophilia but only through deathplay/kink that can be done with alive people but it *is* encouraging that.
and my self-insert is an alien who's a system with alters including a non-spiritual spiritual alter, a gay lovecore succubus who's also an autonecro, a factive of the cousin he has incest feelings for and has an in-sys relationship with, and marwood from withnail and i.
i am about to create a self-ship that has both incest and necrophilia in it but not at the same time and it also isn't encouraging the incest but it is encouraging the necrophilia but only through deathplay/kink that can be done with alive people but it *is* encouraging that.
dream a dream of sweetness and filth. there is a heaven that exists outside the of restriction of our own worlds— the leashes wound around us by society, religion, politics, and cultural; the indifferent sludge of the everyday which pummels our bodies and tries to swallow us whole. i dream a dream where our lust pierced through it, a violent thrust of affection that has been sharpened by our needs and our perversions. we burst through, an arrow with a fetal point, and reach a heaven of our own: a garden of impurity that would make bosch blush, a space as lush and disturbed as the wild tangle of nerves which swell through our bodies and minds. there is a sun, hot and pure white, the cataract of a deceased god, falling away along the horizon beyond our bodies. there is a valley, open and lush. there is nothing but freedom, for us, for our desires, for our love.
If and when I start gaining weight, the clothes-outgrowing situation is gonna be a little odd but I'm looking forward to it.
Before I became more comfortable with my tits (I'm transmasc with large breasts who used to feel more of a need to pass than I do now), I wore shirts like a size too big to hide them, but everything else is the "right" size, and these are the clothes I currently have (don't have the money currently to replace an entire set of tops that technically fit and that I do like enough to want to wear until they don't fit)
So when I gain enough weight to have to replace my pants and shorts, my shirts will be finally fitting "properly", but with my breasts more noticeable. Which, let's be honest, they're already very big and noticeable unless I have a heavy jacket on, but they'll be even MORESO by that point (this is a good thing to me) <3
I think I'll buy a few shirts that are sized proportionally to my larger body the way my current shirts are size to mine, if I'm in a situation where I do want to hide my chest a little more.
But honestly I'm also planning to buy more and more femme clothes as I gain weight, including things that show off my tits, so a lot of my clothes will do the exact opposite of hide my chest!
I don't know why I have so much of a kink for this but it's just the hottest thing in the world to me that I'm a fat guy with big boobs who's going to gain weight and not only get his tits fatter but show them off to the world <3
I sit up late into the night thinking about how fat I wish I was. Of course the food part is nice but if I could... I think I would opt for the rapid gain like you see in media like " say cheese and die again" where you can watch yourself fill out with lard.
Like if I had like magic powers to change my weight at will that's how I'd want it. So I can sit on my bed in front of the mirror and watch as my body swells with fat. Feeling your gut inflate out with heavy jiggly blubber as it oozes towards your knees. Feeling your whole body sink further down into the soft cussiony bed as you exceed your frames weight limit and you begin hearing the wood crack and the metal creak.
So I'm transmasc and I have really big breasts that make binding difficult, and I used to have a lot of dysphoria about this, but a combination of things, mostly kink, helped me get over this to the point where, in my weight gain stuff, that's one of the parts of me I'm most looking forward to getting bigger?
A lot of it is because I want to gain (or at least fantasize about gaining) a very large amount of weight (like over 500 pounds) and if I were a cis man who gained that much weight, I'd still have a large chest, so my ideal body still has a large chest.
So like...I started calling my breasts "moobs" and "guytits" and engaging in more feedism stuff, and then I kind of tied that into "hey wouldn't it be really gender non-conforming to be a guy who's proud of having tits" and now you have me as someone who's only still considering top surgery because it would help me pass and who'd keep eir huge tits if ey could.
A lot of my kink thoughts lately have had to do with my breasts - them getting larger as I gain weight, showing them off in femme clothes (that's another kink that helped me), hoping that they get hairy as I keep on testosterone...I might post some of that here ofc lmao
Imagine tilting a carton of heavy cream to an eager feedee's lips. Their hands wrapping around yours, pressing the cap even tighter to their mouth. Soft whimpers escaping between deep gulps. Fat drops appearing at the corners of their lips and trickling down their cheeks. You know it's too much, it's too fast. It's more than they can take. You begin to pull the carton back, only to feel your feedee's hands tighten around yours. Their eyes look up at you. Pleading for more. Begging you not to stop. They pull the carton back, guiding your hands even higher, pouring even more fattening mix into their swelling gut. Greedily taking even more than you ever imagined, until every last drop is gone.
hehe those blinkies i just reblogged? we made them and posted them to our main system blog. we're going to post kink blinkies here too, but the more extreme ones.
every necrophile needs either what jay and andrew have in exquisite corpse or what nail from my partner system and i have with each other where he wants to kill me and i want him to fuck the corpse <3
