VanillaJelly @vanillajelly-blog - Tumblr Blog

Love you Tim and Lisa. I am so happy for you both and i am honored to have been with you all through your special day. It is one I wont forget! xox

Tired of feeling alone in my mind...all the time.

According to You...

I have no worries. My life is perfect. I have endless money. I am asking too much. I am not there for you. I owe you. According to Me... I worry constantly about the same things you worry about. My life isn't perfect but I am blessed, you can't hold that against me. I make a money & work hard to save it but I do still have anxiety over it. I am only asking for my most basic of needs. I break my back to do everything possible to make sure you feel supported. I don't owe anyone anything for doing what is best for myself, you didn't have to be involved...you chose to.

Better

I know for a fact I deserve a lot more in my life from the relationship(s) I have-or lack thereof. I am selling myself short by staying where I feel comfortable because it is a false sense of security. I have done everything in my power to fix what can be and to make it known of how I feel. After that there's nothing more to do than wait. At what point does it come down to ultimatums or both people really being hurt? I don't want to hurt anyone but I would be stupid not to rescue myself from being hurt. I can't take too much more of this elective pain. I treat you how I want to be treated. If you won't then 'goodbye'. It is frightening though to be "alone" and later vulnerable with someone else only to be possibly hurt again. The devil I know or the devil I don't know?