Hello, my darling. Apologies for not posting consistently like I wanted to. But, I have some news for everyone. Things have been difficult with me being sick quite frequently, and also lacking motivation for writing.
Now, the news. I officially got a kitten :)
After struggling with my mental health for years, and wanting a cat of my own as well, I finally decided to get a kitty of my own. I do have one cat, but he is technically my mum’s, but this kitty is all mine :)
Her name is Luna and she’s very cuddly and affectionate. Already, she’s clingy, always purring with me and nuzzling too. I do think she was a good investment for me in multiple ways :)
The second part of this announcement is that I want to try and put out a piece of writing every day throughout December. This isn’t set in stone yet!! I want to do it though. Mainly to make up for the fact I haven’t been posting much at all besides some fillers. I hope you all stick around to see how things will go.
tags: unestablished relationship, basically dating without labels, slow burn-ish, small signs of affection from both parties, sharing a space
Authors Note: this was quite rushed, and lazy at the end, but I just wanted to get a piece of writing out or my lovely darlings. I hope you all enjoy. - vlc 💛
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It’s all in passing, really. The slight glances, the subtle touches. Chishiya was not a man to openly show you affection, but you didn’t mind either way. He made his loyalty clear in his own way, as did you. You didn’t have to be all over each other like some people at the beach, you didn’t have to be obnoxious, you didn’t have to be open. Things were fine like this. You’d be normal in public, then in private grow just a slight bit closer.
The biggest thing between you both was your banter. That was what people saw the most. The quips, the jokes, the sly little comments towards one another. Anyone would just assume you were friends. That was how both of you wanted it, because vulnerability in the Borderlands was dangerous. People needed as much smoke as possible to block out the true vision.
But in private? You got to know the real him. The Chishiya that wasn’t as cool and collected. The Chishiya that had insecurities, that had worries and flaws like any other person. And in return, he got to see you, in practically the same state; sharing unguarded moments and growing closer.
It had originally started after a rough game. You’d been scraped and bruised, and Chishiya had made a small notion to follow him to his room, where he’d tended to you. Only because he had been impressed by your quick wit during the game, and less impressed by your immediate leap into action to save someone you didn’t even know.
After that, your routine came clear. You got hurt? You went to him. He was hurt? You’d follow behind him a few paces and help him. It was an unsaid thing, but that’s how you two liked it. After either a long day, or a troubling game, you’d both retreat to his room to lick wounds and indulge in quiet company; fragile, because it felt like if one of you moved too fast or said the wrong thing it would fall apart.
People noticed, but you ignored any attempt of bringing it up or teasing about how close you both were becoming. This was your thing, and it was becoming something more and more sacred in such a violent and unforgiving place.
You would never had thought that a relationship, even one like this, would bloom beneath the heavy concrete of the reality you found yourself in, but it weaved its way through the cracks, planting roots beneath the surface. Because these things always found a way; its nature. Chishiya hadn’t expected it either, but for completely different reasons. Now, however, he wouldn’t trade it for anything. He never knew how comforting someone’s presence could be until he found you still in his bed when he woke up.
With you, he could forget things. He could push all the negativity out of his mind and just exist as a human being; vulnerable, but human. You made him feel alive. Like the veins in his flesh and the blood pumping through them wasn’t lines of code in a computer, like his mind wasn’t cogs in a complex machine even he couldn’t figure out sometimes. When he got out of here, he would miss you. Because he wasn’t trying to set himself up for failure and call this a long term deal. No one could predict the future.
That didn’t mean that Chishiya didn’t become more protective of you, because he did. He very much did. He went to every game you did, he used his sharp mind and you as his mouthpiece when you needed to work in teams. It was natural, like you two had this link that made it so much easier to understand plans whilst hardly saying anything. You understood him, and he valued that about you. Then after each game, came the usual cycle. Returning to his room.
It was tonight that Chishiya told you about his plan. Stealing the cards. At first, you opposed… it was dangerous. But he was smart, smarter than the average player at the Beach. You had to trust him like you had done multiple times before.
“Try not to worry. I have it all mapped out.” He had told you, but it did little to soothe you.
“And if it goes wrong, what then?”
“It won’t.” Chishiya’s response is cool and collected. “I will be careful, you have my word.” He promised— and Chishiya Shuntaro never made promises. “After, we should run away. Go somewhere safe.”
“Like where?” You had questioned, ignoring the flutter at the word ‘we’. He wasn’t going to ditch you, even when he had the cards. If he wanted to, he wouldn’t have told you about his plan.
“I’m not sure. Away from the Beach. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere we won’t be followed.” Chishiya leant back against the headboard, rubbing his jaw. “A lot of people want those cards,” your name had fallen from his lips like a delicacy. It almost made you shudder in the moment.
“I trust you, Chishiya.”
“And I trust you.”
Those words had been a huge comfort. His trust was all you had worked for. You didn’t want to push for unnecessary touching or anything steamy. You, frankly, didn’t need it as much as you thought you would. His presence was enough, a comforting blanket that fought away cold nights. You had realised that hasty and sexual relationships weren’t everything, because this delicate little light in this dark tunnel was something you were cherishing every day.
Eyes fluttering open, you look at him now. He’s on his side, back facing you, sleeping. At least, you think he is. He sleeps so lightly you think he might just be awake 24/7. Part of you wants to reach out and touch his back, caress shapes onto his soft skin, but you don’t want to disturb him… or scare him away. Too much affection made Chishiya flustered, even if he didn’t visibly show it. It wasn’t a ‘high school boy with a crush’ flustered, but a ‘grown man that wasn’t used to these things’ type of squeamish. It wasn’t you that needed to move at a snails pace, it was him.
Chishiya had the experience, of course he did, he had gone to college and medical school… just not the drive, nor (admittedly) the confidence.
So, you treated him like a delicate painting. Look, but don’t touch. Of course, he did engage in some affection… in his own way. Consisting of the occasional lingering pat on the arm or a touch to your back in passing. Chishiya just couldn’t manage to be overly affectionate, especially when he was being perceived. That didn’t mean you didn’t occasionally wake up with him pressed against your back, his breathing slow and steady against your nape… but that had been the one time and Chishiya had been incredibly embarrassed when he woke up.
Slowly, you grasp the covers, pulling them a bit more up his side so he could maintain some warmth. The Beach got surprisingly cold at night. One day, this seedling may bloom into a full flower, but not in one night. One day, you might cuddle and kiss like other couples did… but right now, you didn’t want that. You just wanted to cherish the sweet things you could salvage in this harsh world, before it was potentially ripped away from you. However, you were doubtful that you would let this world take him from you easily. The company, the care, the tiniest glints of affection in his eyes when you made a joke… you valued them too much. He was yours, and you were his, even if you both never said it. And after all, a girl was prettier with her diamond.
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This fanfiction was written by VanillaLoafCake, all rights reserved. I do not consent to people reuploading my fics, feeding my work to ai, or stealing my work. If you wish to translate my work, please give credits, but getting in contact is not necessary so long as I am tagged appropriately. Thank you.
So, darlings. December is upon us and I did not fulfill my promise of posting every day. I am SO SORRY, I’ve just been going through severe writers block after being back to back sick. Have kitten pictures as reconciliation for my lack of posting :,)
I will try my hardest to post sometime soon, my lovelies.
She loves her hot water bottle, it makes her sleepy 😭💛
im laughing at the fact ppv was so good that vanillaloafcake broke their usual character
ur writing is just too good kiwi!!! im so hyped to see where it goes next too! nam-gyu being a gooner is like a drug of itself lol (not to forget about berry hehehe)
will we get thanos interactions (like teasing gyu about being DOWN BADDD) once they are in the games? :3 (no spoilers obviously but im so curious about your plans!!)
tbh vlc breaking character for my fic had me feelin like I was fuckin Shakespeare and I cooked up the next hamlet
But….AS A SMALL SPOILER….thanos 100% is probably also…maybe…possibly…subscribed to Berry and or…knows who she is….so Thanos mayhaps will not only tease but try to shoot his own shot (n fail…cause this is a gyu fic :3 my bb gonna pull the huzz even if he’s so awkward)
How it feels to stumble upon an author who writes a scrumptious fanfic of a character you’re obsessing/hyper fixating on and on top of that they have a master list FULL of fics dedicated to them
some news is brewing. for now, though, i will not be posting nearly as much as i would like. thank you all for the support on my work! but for now, i have something in the works that i MIGHT announce later on next month. thank you for the patience!
I’ve had a very terrible day and felt like writing some fluff so here (sorry not formatting this just writing what is basically a self comfort fic)
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When you came barging into his room, basically in tears, Nam-Gyu felt both awkward and very nervous. As soon as you flop down onto his bed, half on top of him, your roommate curls his arm around you. “Uh- what’s up?” Nam-Gyu asks quietly, putting his magazine down. He didn’t usually read them anywhere but his room… it was an embarrassing hobby of his, but he was addicted to magazines almost as much as he was to drugs. And hardly any of them were porno material!! Reading dramatised snippets of random celebrity gossip, looking at furniture ideas, getting his monthly zodiac readings even though he hardly cared (or believed in it).
“Terrible day. Don’t wanna talk about it.” You croak into his shirt, and Nam-Gyu cringes at the feeling of your tears seeping through his clothing. “Uh… sorry to hear that.” He mumbles, glancing to his magazine. At least you weren’t judging him… usually you’d tease him, and him you in fairness, but Nam-Gyu would rather keep it private.
You snivel, eventually turning your head so your cheek was pressed against his chest, cheekbone against his collarbone. Your gaze settles on his mag, and Nam-Gyu has to fight back tensing up. But, you don’t tease, a tear straying down over your nose and almost hitting your other eye… but Nam-Gyu swipes it away with his thumb.
“Read to me?” You whisper quietly. He pauses, swallowing thickly. “What?”
“Please?”
“It’s hardly reading material…” Nam-Gyu mutters awkwardly. You don’t take your eyes off the colourful cover. “I don’t care… please? I… need a distraction.” You plead, and he sighs, glancing to his magazine. “Fine…”
He raises his magazine, opening it up from the beginning. “Uhm… are you interested in zodiac stuff…?” he whispers, flicking through towards the end of the mag. “Let’s see how your month is gonna go. Hopefully better than today.” He suggests quietly, searching through the list for yours.
Even though you were upset, a small smile tugs at your lips. “I’d like that.” You whisper back, and Nam-Gyu lets out a small exhale of relief. “Okay.. let’s see…” he mumbles, pausing for a second. “What’s your sign again…?”
“Are you kidding?”
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This fanfiction was written by VanillaLoafCake, all rights reserved. I do not consent to people reuploading my fics, feeding my work to ai, or stealing my work. If you wish to translate my work, please give credits, but getting in contact is not necessary so long as I am tagged appropriately. Thank you.
The setting that prevents your work being used to train AI models is turned off by default! I had no idea about this until now! Artists, go to your settings, click “visibility”, and turn on this setting! Protect your work!
hello darlings, I deleted my niragi ao3 exclusive fic because I felt it wasn’t wrote very well, my deepest condolences. I might rewrite it, but I am honestly not feeling it anymore, I didn’t have a proper plot planned out at that point, but I may write a different one for him. Thank you,
tags: withdrawals, living together, established relationship, comfort when sick, no games, fluff with a hint of angst, drug use mentioned
authors note: as promised from the poll I hosted, fluff won, so here it is, enjoy! 💛 - vlc
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The low, pitiful moan beside you stirs you awake from what had been your nap. It’s a warm afternoon, the type that makes you so drowsy… that makes you want to curl up with warm food and nap the day away. It’s a very rare occurrence, because both yours and your boyfriend’s work rotas sync up on the second week, and you get a weekend off together.
Speaking of, your boyfriend is all curled up, wrapped in a blanket, from his head to his waist. Already, you can see him shaking, withdrawals wracking through him. “Baby,” you murmur sleepily, reaching over to shake him quietly. Nam-Gyu shudders, mewling like a sickly kitten as you touch his arm. He’s aching all over, he feels like he’s going to vomit… he has a harsh headache, too.
It’s good that he’s with you right now, not at Pentagon where you knew he’d relapse immediately. Always, Nam-Gyu promised sobriety, but you knew from experience it was easier said than done.
Propping yourself up on your elbow, you blink sleep from your eyes, curling your other arm around him, holding him as he quivers. “It’ll pass.” You murmur, listening to the small blubbered noise that escapes his throat. It’s times like these where he’s most vulnerable. Part of you likes it, the way he blooms open like the most shy flower… but you didn’t like it at the expense of him suffering.
Sighing softly, you grasp Nam-Gyu’s shoulders, slowly sitting him up. “Come sit on the couch.” You murmur, helping him up on shaky legs, noting how pale his face was under the blanket. He looked like a makeshift nun, still wrapped in the blanket, dragging it along with him as you walk him to the living room. He has to sit down slowly to avoid literally passing out, he felt so lightheaded and terrible.
“Pills?” Nam-Gyu rasps, and you sigh. Pills were better than heroin… but you still didn’t like the idea of him curving withdrawals with more drugs. “I dunno, baby—“
“Please?” He begs, ringed eyes staring up at you with glossy tears. You hesitate, sighing quietly. “I’ll… see if you have any left.” You murmur, turning to scour the apartment. You do find some… but you decide to tuck them away into one of his jackets in the closet before returning.
“Sorry, baby. I can’t find any.” You sigh, watching him practically sob. “I know— it feels shitty. But it will pass, Nam-Gyu.” You sigh, sitting with him and curling your arms around him. Nam-Gyu settles against you, closing his eyes tightly as he continues to tremble and whimper. Withdrawals were the worst. He could hear real thoughts, he could remember his worst moments. He hates it.
Eventually, you pull away from the couch to get him water and painkillers, as well as some food. You weren’t certain if he would eat, but it was worth a shot. So, you cook some easy ramen, a mild spicy chicken, letting the noodles bloom into soft and fluffy goodness as you bring him water and painkillers.
Nam-Gyu was already curled up, your shared cat, Kimchi, all curled up on top of him as well. You give Kimchi some scratches under her chin for keeping him company before returning to the kitchen. You decide to make some for yourself, pushing two pairs of chopsticks into each ramen pot before returning to the living room.
Nam-Gyu is still bundled under the covers, even as you set your pot of ramen down, and offer him his own. “Sit up… take a bite.” You croon, watching your boyfriend moan in despair. “C’mon, Gyu… it’s good stuff. Your favourite flavour.”
Finally, after plenty of coaxing, Nam-Gyu sits up, cuddling Kimchi into his lap and accepting his ramen. You sit beside him, turning some show on, it was some talk show, something neither of you would really watch whilst eating. Your boyfriend takes a few bites, shuddering slightly as nausea washes over him again. Slowly, he slumps back down into the cushions, swallowing his noodles quietly. You glance his way, offering him his water, which Nam-Gyu eagerly accepts. Hopefully it would ease his stomach.
“It’s my fault,” Nam-Gyu mumbles after swallowing his water. You hum, giving your boyfriend a sympathetic look. “It’s okay… this will pass, and we can try again.” You respond softly. He sighs, closing his eyes to try and fight off another wave of sickness.
“I dunno, baby. I think I… I won’t ever get away from drugs.” He whispers, knowing you’re frowning whilst not even looking at you. “Don’t say that. You wanna do it… you just have to commit.”
“That’s the thing…! I’m weak. I can’t do this.” Nam-Gyu argues. “Baby. I can’t… I need a fix.”
“Nam-Gyu, listen… I’ve seen you go through withdrawals before. And if you can get past them once, just once, you can do it again. It’s hard. I get it… but you can’t just throw in the towel because you feel shitty. You know it’s temporary.” You croon, reaching over to brush some hair from his face. “For now, just eat your noodles, okay…?”
A shaky breath escapes his lips, and he stirs his ramen with his chopsticks. “Thank you,” Nam-Gyu croaks, sounding a bit choked up. “I don’t deserve you, baby. I don’t.” He murmurs.
With sympathetic eyes, you curl an arm around your shoulders, holding him close. “I’ve got you, baby. Always.” You respond, kissing his head. “We’ll get through this together.” You reassure, hearing a small snivel escape him. “Thank you, baby.” Nam-Gyu murmurs, pulling back to give you a small kiss. “I’d be lost without you.”
You smile, letting him pull away. Whenever he was down, you’d always pull him back up. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. You’re stuck with me.” You tease, seeing a small smile pull at Nam-Gyu’s face.
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This fanfiction was written by VanillaLoafCake, all rights reserved. I do not consent to people reuploading my fics, feeding my work to ai, or stealing my work. If you wish to translate my work, please give credits, but getting in contact is not necessary so long as I am tagged appropriately. Thank you.
Tags: long hair roy 🙂↕️, fluff, established relationship, small drabble
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“I wanna cut my hair…” Roy mutters with a sigh, running his hand through the unruly locks.
The sound you let out makes him jump a little; a loud gasp leaving your lips, so loud in fact it makes him feel like he’s said something offensive. “No!” You immediately rebuke, frowning at your boyfriend. “I like your hair like this.” You add as a whine, looking at his hair in the bathroom mirror. Morning routines were still adapting… you’d brush your teeth together, before bed and when waking up. Roy would only brush his teeth, whereas you did some skincare. His version of skincare was splashing cold water onto his face, and the damn bastard still has clear skin.
“What? Baby, look at this.” Roy frowns back, ruffling his red locks with both hands. “It’s a mess. It’s annoying me.”
You wash your hands of your moisturiser, “baby, I forbid it!” You argue, pouting at your boyfriend. Your hands replace his, running through his hair as he sighs. “Why? It’s a nightmare.” He points out. “I might go back to a shaved head-“
“Absolutely not!” You cut him off, “it’s so sexy like this. Please?” You beg, giving Roy a bit of pause. “Y’think so?” The redhead asks cautiously, watching you pull his hair back over his ears a bit, your fingertips massaging his scalp.
“I know so. You’re so hot like this, baby. If you wanna trim it, I can do that, but please keep it long.” You plead. Of course, you know if he really wanted to cut it, he’d just do it, but you had to argue your case of having a sexy boyfriend with gorgeous hair. Roy stays quiet for a moment, humming as he mulls it over. “Fine, fine… just a trim.” He responds. Long hair wasn’t that bad, it’s just a bit different than what he was used to. He kept it to his ears, usually, but now it’s long enough to reach his jaw, and it felt strange for him to feel hair tickling his jaw constantly… well, hair that wasn’t yours.
You grin as he agrees, “if you really feel bothered by it, you can tie it back. But I like seeing you like this.” You coo, kissing his shoulder as you remove your hands from his hair. A small smile pulls at Roy’s lips. “Nah, I’ll cope with it. Anything for my baby.” He chuckles, turning to give you a kiss.
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This fanfiction was written by VanillaLoafCake, all rights reserved. I do not consent to people reuploading my fics, feeding my work to ai, or stealing my work. If you wish to translate my work, please give credits, but getting in contact is not necessary so long as I am tagged appropriately. Thank you.
