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Peter Solarz
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@vantsukiyosterne
R. 🥀
"The boys hands are so warm"
Little P from loading
About Lea and her apprentices
----- LIES OF P OVERTURE SPOILERS -----
I remember when the first impressions of the DLC came out (alongside the early spoilers), I saw a few comments saying that Lea only cared about Romeo as her apprentice and that basically that she didn’t actually care about Carlo.
And I’m ngl, as I played through Overture, I was dying inside because she barely mentioned Carlo at all. But after the ending, oh, that painful ending, I saw just how deeply she loved him.
And I just wanted to yap about that.
Just hearing Lea’s recollection from her room in the Eventide Hotel was enough for me to understand the depth of her love for him.
She talks about how much she appreciated the company of both of them; the happy moments they shared together. But I’m sure that after she broke ties with the Monad family, everything became pitch black for her.
She left them, thinking that by doing so, they’d be safe from the abyss she herself had fallen into… only to find Carlo dead soon after.
From everything Neowiz gave us, the letters, the voice lines, the recollections, the Record , it’s clear just how much she loved them both.
I can only imagine the devastation she felt when she found Carlo’s lifeless, pale body. The guilt. The anger. The grief.
Her depression after leaving the Monad family was so strong that she pushed away the people who had become her found family. But losing Carlo was a different kind of pain. So unbearable and crushing that she could no longer isolate herself. She had to come back. She had to protect Romeo from suffering the same fate as her youngest apprentice.
These were her children. Her feisty, hyperactive, kind, and silly children. Because that’s what they were to her, just as she once was to Valentinus.
“The feelings inside me as I watch my apprentices grow make me wonder if you felt the same way gazing at me.”
I don’t know if she saw herself as their mother, but she took them in. Trained them. Fed them. Gave them a roof over their heads. And the three of them shared so many wonderful moments, not just as stalkers or teacher and students, but as friends. As family.
She watched them grow. She felt happiness and pride at their progress. They were both so, so dear to her.
And if I may theorize a little, maybe Carlo accepted the Alchemists’ invitation to the Devil’s Pit in hopes of helping Lea. Maybe he wanted to find out what was really going on between the Alchemists and Valentinus.
If Lea was so depressed that she distanced herself from both her families, then something bad must’ve been happening. And Carlo, with his likely abandonment issues, wouldn’t have stood by and done nothing.
He wasn’t going to lose anyone else.
And that determination led him straight to his death.
So now Lea was afraid. Terrified. She was struck with the realization that she hadn’t made the most of her time with Carlo. And if she wasn’t careful, she was going to lose Romeo too.
She couldn’t let that happen again.
That’s why she was so overprotective of her last remaining apprentice. Her need to find and save Romeo almost felt like an obsession, but how can we blame her, after losing Carlo like that?
After losing him in such a terrible, cruel way?
And of course she mourned him, and continued to do so. She said every time she played Survivor, she thought of him.
It must have been painful just to look at the picture of the three of them. Or the painting. But she had to keep going. Because Romeo was still alive. He needed her, now more than ever, because he too had lost Carlo and was devastated.
Carlo couldn’t be saved anymore. But Romeo could. And if there was anything Lea could do to avoid having her heart broken like that again, she would do it, even if it meant giving her life away.
Besides, I think she was more at peace because she knew she was dying. She’d be able to see Carlo soon. So it’s not that she didn’t miss him, or only cared about Romeo, but things were already in motion. Romeo could still live, and she would soon be reunited with Carlo and make up for the time she couldn’t be by his side.
They really were a family. And it hurts so much that the three of them ended the way they did. But if anything, P was able to give them closure in his own way. Because in the end, they all got to meet one last time under the dawn. 🥺
dlc made me go insane
That one panel of Qifrey We're not gonna talk about how much I cried while drawing last picture of Carlo (ignore the fact I drew hand wrong please)
One of my favorite personal headcannons is the idea of Real boy ending Carlo being blissfully unaware of the horrors that preceded his rebirth. His father’s word is unquestionable truth. He believes everything Gep tells him, even the “white lies”.
Lacking any sort of purpose or distraction in the now ghost city of Krat, he finds this discarded puppet that bears a striking resemblance to him. This poor nameless thing now all broken and twisted up, “synthetic” skin rubbed off and poked through by mice and moth alike.
Carlo begins to spend time with this inanimate doppelgänger and notices its hair growing every time music plays or he sings near it. Carlo doesn’t understand why nor how but finds this peculiarity fascinating.
And so their little ritual began, Carlo sings and/or plays music for the puppet and the puppet comforts Carlo in his solitude.
Lies of P: Overture - Announcement Trailer
aaa
✄-----
Connection
It’d be cool if depending on which ending you get, Carlo’s portrait changes/disappears as even more of a reference to The Picture of Dorian Gray 👀
Recent ones :D
~~h o l l o w f e e l i n g s~~
My piece for the Lies Of P art contest - I poured all my soul and few night hours into this one...! Lies Of P universe and its characters are heartbreakingly haunting, so I tried to draw something haunting.
I created a Twitter/X account especially for the contest. I guess you can now find me here now too ! Here's the post link.
✄-----
Connection
It’d be cool if depending on which ending you get, Carlo’s portrait changes/disappears as even more of a reference to The Picture of Dorian Gray 👀