USELESS USELESS USELESS!!

[vapidhope]

[vapidhope]

MATSUDA.  🌸

Her scowl SCARES him- Fills him with an instinctive fear that tells him to run, but at least it’s SOMETHING other than the facade he’d become so used to. Wanted to run, but that wasn’t fair, not when she’d seen him in a similar state on the day of his mother’s funeral, curled up in a ball and wailing, tearing at his hair and cursing himself for being so useless.

No, he forces himself to stay put, gritting his teeth and watching her agony- Before slowly stepping forward towards her, making sure to kick the scissors out of her reach as he crouches down.

The doctors had said something about being clinically insane. He hated doctors.

“…Junko…”

Why was she crying if she never loved him? Did she really hate him that much?

The image speaks, and her hands clamp down on her ears in reply. She’s burning, anger and anguish meeting and tangling within her to overload her senses. This is worse than nothing-- at least boredom let her wither in it’s grasp. This is a hot flame, threatening to consume her whole. She wants to scream for Chisa, beg her to make this stop, but her words are choked in her throat, eyes burning with tears and any semblance of her fragile sanity waning with her ability to speak.

Eventually she slows, eyes glazed and hard as she turns to look back at him. It’s like ice now, her mind still shattering and reforming.

   “ ... why ... why are you here. “

Robotic and slow, her eyes watching him like a hawk. She can feel herself shifting, her attempt at remaining singular fracturing like a mirror. The lilt of her voice changes with each word, but she never stops staring.

[vapidhope]

MATSUDA.  🌸

Maybe it was a mistake coming here- Because every part of this HURTS. The broken shell of the woman he once knew was a stark reminder that nothing was the same, they’d been defeated, there was nobody left for them but each other.

Usually so witty, Matsuda found himself speechless, words dying in his throat when their eyes meet.

“…”

What was he meant to say?

“…Surprise,” He manages to croak out, glancing to the floor. It was easier than looking at her. “…’Guess I’m not dead.”

It seemed like, in those final moments, he’d had so much he wanted to say, to ask, to yell. Infinite things that he no longer had the time for, begging her to tell him the truth with her name on his lips. So why now could he think of nothing? Why was he so willing to push those things aside just to be with her for five minutes? He didn’t understand. There was so much he didn’t understand anymore.

“I bought you something. Don’t have much money anymore, but, uh… Hope you like it.”

There is a horrific feeling in her chest, threatening to burn her alive. It feels like bile and fire mingling and choking her, screwing her face into the deepest scowl she can manage, one tinged with pain. Falls forward on her hands, grabbing her chest as she feels herself start to scream, and sob.

It’s an uncontrolled emotion, nothing she’s ever felt before. Nothing like her practiced facades, nothing like the haunting loneliness and boredom that stems from the fractures her mind is left in. Her agony feels warranted, like this is payback for the knife in his back. Eye for an eye, and all that.

Her whole body shakes with the effort to dispel itself of the furious tears that spill from her eyes like rivers. 

It’s not real. Her mind is twisting again. She’s relapsing. She promised--

   “ stop ! ju-just, leave ... leave me alone. stop showing me this. just let me ... live with it ... stop burning it into me ... “

[vapidhope]

[vapidhope]

MATSUDA. 🌸

ˢᵗᵃʳᵗᵉʳ | @vapidhope​

It’s ironic, Matsuda thinks.

Bringing a gift to the woman that tried to kill you.

No, not only that- Physically assaulted you, destroyed your life, killed all of your friends and manipulated you to the point of committing murder, thus resulting in your qualifications being stripped and legal action keeping you under constant supervision and scrutiny.

Yep. Pretty stupid.

But here he was, leaning heavily against wall outside Enoshima’s new bedroom, wrapped gift clutched within his hands. To say he was terrified was an understatement. The last time he’d seen her, it had been covered in blood and taking his dying breaths… An image he’d been unable to stop dreaming about since the incident occurred. 

His therapists said it was important to face this. Important for his recovery, and destructive tendencies. Maybe he’d be able to move on- That didn’t stop his trembling, though.

He finally inhales a full breath, turning around and abruptly knocking on the door, not waiting for an answer before pushing it open and stepping into the doorway.

The blonde sits on the floor, hair undone and extensions pulled up by the seams long ago. Half-curled into a ball, staring at a wall. She looks like a porcelain doll, delicate and unmoving from her position on the floor. Not when there’s a knock. Not when the door opens. Not when footsteps grace her ears. She just watches the wall, tracing patterns with her now bare nails.

Nothing about her looks as it used too-- the bright blonde has dulled, and the harsh blue of her eyes now a stormy blue. She’s wrapped in a thick hoodie and short shorts, a cascade of cuts and bruises, obviously self made, marring the pale white of her legs.

She’s more tanned than she used to be, too.

Her hands move to some scissors on the floor, looking them over slowly in thought. Thinks to snip at her hair, but then her eyes finally find Matsuda and they drop with a clatter to the floor.

[vapidhope]

ooc;

w/o context

[vapidhope]

    “ remember to eat your despairio’s kids ! or don’t. i don’t care. “

[vapidhope]

Vi ur cute;;; ☆

i’m the cutest everrrr

[vapidhope]

scalpxls replied to your post: scalpxls replied to your post: ...

if u wanna discuss it pls feel free to dm me,,, (my tumblr dms don’t work unless someone messages me first :’))

i have been dead all day so i will absolutely do this when i have time tomorrow :^) we can talk about how fucked up junko will be foreverrrr

[vapidhope]

leadhope replied to your post

LOVE U

i lov u 2 u poop

[vapidhope]

scalpxls replied to your post: scalpxls replied to your post: ...

i kinda highkey ADORE THIS…. I’m curious as to what her relationship with matsuda would be :eyesemoji:………

i’m highkey down to explore that because i have, honestly, never had a matsuda that wanted to :eyesemoji@u:

[vapidhope]

scalpxls replied to your post: Chisa and Kyousuke accidentally parenting Junko...

H-HEWWO??? REDEEMED JUNKO???

it’s a...weird way of saying that junko was stopped before the horrible despair inducing incident like, post-suicides but pre killing game so stuffs mostly normal? but she’s basically under house arrest constantly and needs like EXTENSIVE therapy to get over her issues 

[vapidhope]

Chisa and Kyousuke accidentally parenting Junko Enoshima

redemption!junko who doesn’t like being touched by anyone, explicitly her classmates. sets off her old feelings and she relapses into bad habits and almost steals the same drugs she used to become ryoko just so she can be normal or whatever adjacent that is

takes them hours to convince her that it won’t work because it didn’t work the first time

so instead she sits criss cross apple sauce on the floor and stares at old magazine photo’s of herself as she just, continues to cut off pieces of her hair, hoping for some alleviation from the boredom.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head and said 'vibe check' now hes dead

[vapidhope]

[vapidhope]

[leadhope-blog1]

[vapidhope]

leadhope‌:

                        GUILTY,    NO    MATTER    WHAT    YOU     DO.