1. what emotion do you try to avoid (e.g. anger, sadness, jealousy...)? what makes you afraid to feel it? what are you afraid will happen if you feel it?
2. in what ways are you priviliged? what do you take for granted?
3. pick an adjective from the list below that would trigger you if someone would use it to desscribe you and then ask yourself: "why would this trigger me? what would be bad about it being true? is it the accuracy or inaccuracy that bothers me? what could be a positive aspect to being that way?"
list: arrogant, lier, jealous, mean, cruel, possessive, bitchy, bossy, loser, greedy, mysterious, sneaky, codependent, sick, fat, disgusting, stalker, stupid, idiot, fearful, unconscious, masochistic, narcissist, insignificant, frigid, sexist, manipulative, racist, victim, egositic, arrogant, ugly, careless, passive, aggressive, lame, boring, tactless, irresponsible, incompetent, lazy, unfair, childish, know-it-all, insensitive, psychotic, sad, ordinary, hypocritical, reproachful, gloomy, jealous, envious dirty, tyrannical, inflexible, heartless, resentful, dominant, bad, ignorant, uneducated, tasteless, insecure, depressed, hopeless, not good enough, cry baby, paranoid, pushy, stubborn, inferior, weak , impatient, unreliable, self-destructive, over-sensitive
4. what is the biggest promise you made to yourself that you have broken? how does that make you feel?
5. how do you lie to yourself in daily life? what are you trying to avoid?
6. what do you think is your worst trait? why is it "bad"? what positive aspects does this trait bring with it?
7. if you truly loved yourself, what would your life look like? is it very different to how it actually is? and if yes, why?
8. think of a time someone broke your heart. could you have been responsible in some way as well?
9. do you hold grudges against someone? if so, why are you not letting them go yet?
10. what do you need to forgive yourself for?
11. think back on the last time a person triggered you: can you see how the aspects of that person that triggered you are also in you?
12. ask yourself: "if... were true about me/my current life situation, i'd be terrified" (try to fill out this sentence as often as possible)
13. think back on your last argument/fight: did you actively try to see the other person's viewpoint and would there have been a way to be more compassionate with the other person and yourself?
14. think about a time in your childhood when you felt unhappy (small or big moment) and write a letter from your child self to the present you about how you felt and how you perceived the situation: try to take on that child as much as you can and write from its perspective as automatically as you can then write a letter back to that child, explaining the situation, showing empathy and understanding and asking how you can help now or which needs have to be met for that child to feel good again if you get answres from that child, then try to meet those needs today
15. In what areas of life are you holding back and playing small? (Think about the times you feel weak, small or disempowered.) Write them below and next to each explore why
16. In what ways do you feel judged by others? Write them below. Explore how many of these judgments might actually originate within you first (and are displaced onto others)
17. What negatives or positives do others point out about you that you have trouble accepting?
18. What emotions do you rarely express around others ā and when did you first start hiding these emotions from others? (Emotional suppression and repression often point to areas of shame buried within you.)
19. Reflect on a period of life where you were at your worst (i.e. most selfdestructive, argumentative, etc.). Write a short, but heartfelt letter of understanding, acceptance, and compassion for that version of you. You can return to this letter later whenever you feel rotten about yourself.
20. What are your āhot buttonsā or triggers that cause you to get angry or defensive in the presence of others?
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