SHUT UP & HIT THAT @varouria - Tumblr Blog

It’s almost my birthday and I am once again supremely depressed and considering if it is worth continuing on for another year. I haven’t been on here for ages but it’s still the only place I can dump thoughts knowing nobody [irl] will see them but also with the sad, stupid hope that maybe someone will and might reach out. Every time I get like this I spend so much time convincing myself this isn’t how I really feel, this isn’t really me! But as time goes on the decent parts, the times where I say THIS is how it’s supposed to be, “this is who I really am,” get farther and farther apart. And the things I do have that make it feel decent are so fragile and unreliable that I feel like I’m in a platformer where I’m on crumbling columns over a pit of lava trying to make it to the next platform before it all falls out from beneath me. Eventually I’m gunna get to a colum that’s out of reach no matter how hard I try to jump across or reach for the things that make life feel okay. It’s only a matter of time before they are either too out of reach or just gone completely.

tom-spanks

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

scumfuckus

yiffpunk

the-jason-todd

dont talk to jenna or her son

basketcasemp3

me: *is anxious about not having a job*

me: *is anxious about having a job*

me: cool

bloop9-deactivated20190507

purpleorblack

aexrth-deactivated20180326

please don’t get tired of me

royejulian

I’m standing on the edge looking down. Feeling my stomach churn while judging the distance to the bottom - to you. I doubt I'll survive and I'm not so sure it’s worth it anymore. If I take a step back the feeling will go away, but then I will have lost you and I fear an even worse feeling will begin to settle in.

#personal