Sentence Starters based on stuff said to or by my sisters
“Do you think heterosexual women sometimes look at heterosexual penises and think ‘Ooh, I’m so straight’?”
“No! You cannot pee there.”
“Are you wearing my shirt?”
“So I’m never wearing pants again.”
“Oh no! I have fallen down.”
“I think… That I have to go pee.”
“What the hell are you doing in my room?”
“When a maaan loves a kroogaan!”
“Sometimes, I tell a joke that’s so funny, that I litterally get scared over how awesome my humor is.”
“Awww, look. Baby’s first drink.”
“Did you know that Santa and Batman are the same person? That’s why you found a Santa costume in the attick. Batman uses our house as a secret lair.”
“I have a secret singing voice that I only use when I’m inside a car.”
“I’m considering growing a beard.”
“How can we even be related? I swear, after you were born, mother brought home the wrong baby from the zoo.”
“That’s not water, that’s gin.”
“Hey, don’t talk to me that way, I changed your diapers!”
“Met my sister. She has two dead blogs and no boyfriend.”
“I’m watching you cook lasagna, so when you die, I’ll know how to make it.”
“Turning over a new leaf doesn’t mean that you just pick up a random plant from the ground and flip it over. You litterally have to do something with your life.”
“If we run out of food out here, I might nibble a little on your leg while you’re asleep, but please don’t take it personal.”
“I’m laughing so much, my hands aren’t working.”
“Oh dear mister squirrel, do you have a girlfriend?”
“Our mother isn’t always half naked, she’s just dressed like this because we’re going swimming today.”
“What do you mean ‘Santa’s not real’?”
“Is it true that squirrels eat acorns because they don’t like Italian food?”
“I’m not saying that Mozart and Voldemort are the same person, but have you ever seen the two of them in the same room? Hm? I mean… Think about it.”
“Don’t drink and nosedive.”
“If I say ‘no’ one time, I mean it twice.”
“Feed, my children… FEEEEED!”
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