“I hate that Lavellan always has to be the one to initiate contact with Solas.”
HOLD UP…she only technically initiates their first romantic scene together when she accidentally hijacks his dream and plants herself at the center of it.
Their second, third, and fourth are all TECHNICALLY initiated by Solas.
The balcony scene? Started by him when he stops us in our tracks to ask if we “have a moment.” Then HE proceeds to lead US to our OWN bedroom. Lavellan has to hold him back slightly from fleeing from the scene of his own making, but it’s still his scene.
The third is their dance at halamshiral where we will see Lavellan standing far from the crowd, trying to steal a quiet moment for herself before Solas comes skulking out looking for company. Talking about some “I’m not surprised to find you out here.” Shut up, like you ever lost track of her. Then he is the one to offer his hand and suggest that they dance.
The fourth and final we all know is crestwood. They’ll be talking about the well of sorrows, but then the topic will swiftly shift to where the future is taking them. I always choose the “I will have you at my side,” option but no matter which you choose, Solas (once again) will usher you into yet another secluded scene that you yourself can make no conscious decision to trigger. It’s all orchestrated by him.
He can also be the only one to ever say the words “I love you/Vhenan” throughout the entire main game if you choose. Lavellan may tell him she loves him while he’s breaking up with her, and she may call him Vhenan and tell him she “loved” him in Tresspasser, but choosing those specific dialogue options aren’t necessary to keep the romance alive. The only one that IS necessary is the promise she has to make him at the very end; “OUR love will endure.” This is always MY Lavellan’s first time telling Solas she loves him, even if it isn’t exactly direct.
Lavellan really only has to kiss him once in a dream, then treat him with grace and kindness afterward and Solas will eventually take up the lead if you leave it for him. Yes, he stumbles once on the balcony and she has to set him back on track again, but after that? It’s all up to him until the break up.
Afterward he will tell you your anger is justified and that he is furious with himself as well…because he knows; he played more into the relationship than perhaps even you did. He wanted your love more than his higher plans and it was selfish. Foolish because more than he loved you, he hated himself.
But apart from all of that, I think a lot of people forget that Lavellan is this man’s BOSS in inquisition and is well aware of her flirtations with him being inappropriate. She will immediately try to retreat after their first kiss, then again when Solas expresses disapproval/anxiety towards it when they wake the next morning. “If I’m pressuring you…” “If I misread you…I’m sorry.”
She was CONCERNED and more than willing to fumble her cracked mask of professionalism back into place if it meant putting his mind at ease.
Even the gossiping nobles outside will disapprove of the romance, saying they prefer a highborn scandal. A romance with Cullen would still be inappropriate, but a little less scandalous considering his high rank in society. Solas is nobody to the world…an apostate, a servant…and if he’s nobody to them, imagine what he looks like standing next to the Inquisitor. Lavellan is hyper aware of all of this and it makes more sense for her character to constantly be leaving the ball in his court rather than keeping it in her own.
Before knowing what I know now, I probably would have considered her more like I consider Mythal had she truly been the main instigator in this relationship; a woman willing to take advantage of the vulnerable and malleable to get what she wants. But she was never that to Solas and I think her vocalizing her anxiety about making him feel pressured only made me (and him) love her deeper.
