Yesterday I documented the protests in San Francisco demanding #justiceforgeorgefloyd. I thought a lot about my personal safety and the work I was doing documenting the protests. Who am I documenting, why, the power balance in the street, the rapidly changing dynamic of the crowd, who I was documenting for, who would this benefit, at what and whose cost? Without a press credential, the level of separation between the protesting crowd and oneself thins quickly and poses increased risks in performing the work and recovering from damages.
There are also questions about fear and how it affects each of us in unique ways. How lines are being drawn. How difficult it is to have these conversations depending on the intersectionality of one's identity. Also the lack of (safe) space for holding mixed emotions and listening to opinions that differ from ours without getting aggressive, passive aggressive or reactionary. Empathy and vulnerability can’t be unconditional in this sort of a climate.
I thought about conversations I had with my father growing up about public protests, expressing dissent, vandalism, and choosing our mediums to speak up and talking through our work. I was also reminded of the stories and conversations with my photo editors back in India, how they worked their way through disasters and terror attacks in the country while doing their work in dangerous, complex and rapidly changing situations. I thought of questions about who needs to be out there and when. Who makes those rules? It is something we asked in the newsroom when the Bombay Taj attacks broke out in 2008.
I really wanted to get my images out to a news publication and found it challenging. In any case I will be back out documenting over the next week.