I'm thankful for the pain for it means I'm alive
What is that pain and at a first glance, abandonment that one feels towards oneself?
It is the feeling of disconnection.
To yourself. To the others. To the environment and the universe.
As you were born your first instict is to seek connection, the safety. To explore and broaden your understanding of the connection. If a learning nervous system doesn't receive safety, it still does everything it can to find the connection. And if it happens when you are very small, before you have any sense of self, you can't yet recognize You as a Person who has as important Needs, and rights, as everyone else. You only feel the Pain. It is more than understandable to feel physical and mental pain when you feel you cannot connect.
As a social animal whose survival is based on belonging to a small tribe, being alone and being abandoned means concretely Death for your subconscious.
And how do you come over the fear of death? By acceptance.
You already belong. You are in this world, as a living being, who is breathing and dreaming and experiencing. Using it's senses. We never stop to seek for that connection and understanding, yet we are already there. We are here.
Our nervous systems, and the brain, is evolved so that the electrochemical reactions seek out to connect in the most energy efficient way possible. Neurons work so that the stimuli that you receive the most is strong. And the stimuli you don't receive as much might be faint or disappear altogether.
Fortunately it is constantly reacting to changes and so the lost connections can be strengthened again. This is called neuroplasticity. There is always Hope as long as one is alive and their brain isn't experiencing something like Alzheimer's where the damage is irreversible.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with how your brain works, it does what it has learned to feel safe. So you don't die. Everything your mind does is for you to feel safe and to stay alive, and flourish. You are alive and you feel the infinity of all and everything. It is more than a miracle that materia becomes Consious of itself. Chances for that is impossible to calculate because it shouldn't be possible, science has said so.
And that consciousness has unique perspective, different and yet the same to everyone else. It is as important part of the world as all the others. It wants to evolve and seeks out to feel good, connected, understood, peaceful and balanced. We are all same circle.
I am thankful I feel because I am alive. So I can evolve.
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