Send me “GET ‘EM GIRL!” to see what my muse would do to defend you from an attacker
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
The Stonewall Inn
Noah Kahan

@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe

pixel skylines
Doug Jones

tannertan36

Jimmy Eat World
The Bowery Presents

#extradirty

roma★
No title available
EXPECTATIONS
$LAYYYTER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

ellievsbear
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
𓃗
Not today Justin

seen from Israel
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seen from Germany
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seen from Uruguay

seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from Singapore
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@velocifather-blog
Send me “GET ‘EM GIRL!” to see what my muse would do to defend you from an attacker
PARKS && RECS MEME (P1.)
“Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #unbreakable”
“Can I help you move? I’m really good at it! Afterwards I can take the cardboard boxes and use it for breakdancing.”
“I can’t use my GPS, but I figured it out. I just drove around in circles until I saw something familiar.”
“Anything that can be penis shaped, will be penis shaped!”
“You look like Encyclopedia Brown.”
“As your self-appointed emotional guardian, it is my duty to love and support you.”
“The original title of this was: A Lively Fisting.”
“I really like you, and I was wondering if you wanted to get a cup of coffee sometime.”
“IF you had gone to Hogwarts Academy, which house do you think you’d be in?”
“I really need this party to go well, which is why I’m stress eating gummy penises.”
“Well, four years of work down the drain and I have a penis on my head.”
“I hate doing work, but I love being flattered. So maybe I’ll give it another try.”
“Please put your pants back on.”
“ Love? Love fades away. But things … Things are forever.”
“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”
“We’re just friends. He’s like the gayest person I’ve ever met, but I make out with him when I’m drunk sometimes.”
“Earlier, I was licking icing off of my finger and boom, I swallowed my wedding ring.”
“One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine.”
“Oh, one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy’s motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs.”
“ I AM NOT CRYING, OK? I’M ALLERGIC TO JERKS!”
“That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer.”
“ I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.”
“I want to punch you in the face so bad right now.”
“I’d like to say something. You are a wonderful person. Your friendship means a lot to me. And you look very beautiful.”
“But think how much better our friendship would be if we added…doin’ it.”
“I just opened a can of whoop ass on myself!”
“Your/My nickname around the office is Softypants Mchuggable.”
“Let’s cut the bull, alright? You want this. I definitely want this. T.H. wants this. Let’s seal this devil’s threeway right here, right now.”
“We should sue their parents for spawning a human turd burger.”
“I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking.”
“Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard.”
“Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.”
“I typed in your symptoms here and it says you might have… network connectivity problems.”
“One time I was dating this guy for a while, and then he got down on one knee and he begged me never to call him again.”
“ I call noodles long-ass rice. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. I call eggs pre-birds, or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks…food rakes.”
“I feel great. I ran 5K this morning. No, no I didn’t. I threw up in the shower.”
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.”
“Catching the number 12 bus to Satan’s butthole?”
“Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night if it meant nothing got done.”
“One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what do to! I just moved.”
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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, AMERICA.
in a universe where everyone is born with numbers on their wrists counting down to when they’ll meet their soulmate, send me 00:00:00 for my muse's reaction to their numbers hitting zero when they meet yours.
Send a '✖' if you are intimidated by me
Bonus: Include what happens to be intimidating about me!
how hard can it be to see RAPTORS in a shopping centre?
Jurassic World Sentence Starters.
“Your flight’s in two hours.”
“Did you feed the monster under your bed?”
“[Name], you’re not going off to war.“
“Remember. If something chases you – run.”
“Why do you have to say things like that?”
“Can he/she/they slow down?”
“No one’s impressed by a dinosaur anymore.”
“We want to be thrilled.”
“Don’t wander off.”
“Seven years…seven, but y’know, close.”
“You’re not coming with us?”
“Where did you get that?”
“The key to a happy life is to accept you are never actually in control.”
“You should spend a day at the beach, get some sun!”
“Oh, he/she/they’re just being dramatic.”
“I like her/his/their spirit.”
“Hey! Don’t give me that shit.”
“Damn, you got them eating out of your palm.”
“Extinct animals have no rights.”
“Do you hear yourself when you talk?”
“This is going to happen – with or without you.”
“You the new guy?”
“No, [name] is not having a bachelor/bachelorette party.”
“All his/her/their friends are animals.”
“You were supposed to call me when you landed.”
“Wait, are you crying?”
“What do they want now?”
“Do you want to consult here, or in my bungalow?”
“It’s a relationship. It’s based on mutual respect.”
“What kind of a diet doesn’t allow tequila?”
“What kind of a man shows up to a date in board shorts?”
“They’re dinosaurs. Wow enough.”
“Probably not a good idea.”
“Is it in the basement? Is there a downstairs? Maybe it’s in the rec room.”
“What? Why would you say that?”
“There’s a point where you have to grow up.”
“You’re going after it with non-lethals?”
“You are not in control here!”
“You have an M-134 in your armory; put it on a chopper, and smoke this thing!”
“What do you think’s going to happen with you just staring at them?”
“Who authorized you to do this?”
“Fine, I’ll do it myself.”
“Dude. Off-road.”
“It’s killing for sport.”
“I am not one of your damn animals!”
“You’ll last two minutes in there. Less in those ridiculous shoes.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just like taking a stroll through the woods. 65 million years ago.”
“I know who you are.”
“Then you know why I’m here.”
“The solution to your crisis is standing right in front of you.”
“Okay, boss. What’s your next move?”
“Where did you go? Why didn’t you come back?”
“Son of a bitch.”
“Can we stay with you?”
“Do not shoot my raptors. Please.”
“You’re looking at him, kid.”
“Hold hands.”
“Your boyfriend’s a badass.”
“Raptors got a new alpha.”
“It’s okay to lie to people when they’re scared!”
“I can’t wait to tell mom!”
“I’m afraid that’s above your pay grade.”
“Why did you have to make it personal?”
“Run!”
“We should probably stick together. For survival.”
(via
mistressmxleficent
)
ATTENTION: ASKS ARE BEING EATEN AND TUMBLR IS ON ITS PERIOD.
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(( that awkward moment where your talking about sex that relates to medicial relations e.o ))
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{{ Slow replies going mobile so no icons/gifs only writing. }}
“2015 you say? Oh well tha’s .. a fascinating year” he took a mental note and began to go over the coordinates within his mind, why was he here? he’d definite put something different within the TARDIS console. Then again she was a bit ‘buggy’ which he knew she’d take awhile to forgive him for. Though as the question was brought up, the Doctor’s attention was brought back to the man before him “I’m sorry?” he’s missed the question but his subconscious had picked up on it “Ooh well no, no’ from around here, I’m from London England” he gave the man a smile “No’ really tha’ sure what the Isla Nublar is ta be quite honest with you…then again its all about the learning I s’ppose”
“Well Isla Nublar is a unique island in the tropics, It’s in a way unique island. Different than others you’d find in the ocean. How did you get here anyway?” He stated clearly he could tell this fellow in front of himself wasn’t use or even knew where it was in the first place. Especially the fact he was from London which was not even near island itself.
I know I don’t say this enough but thanks for following me. it means a lot.
Forcing yourself to work on something that you have no real motivation for
“Oh well yes it is, they truly are rare these days” he spoke while slowly closing the door behind him. His eyes focusing upon the human before him and soon a smile touched his lips “Tell me, ol’ chap, what year is this? and also while we’re at it where am I?” he hadn’t kept his TARDIS up to date on repairs s she was a bit glitchy and not giving him the proper dates or their location at all to begin with. so he was in the dark and truly hated that.
“Well the year is 2015, your on an island called Isla Nublar.” he stated as he moved his hand onto an old blade that only went to fix certain objects, mainly that dealt with dinosaurs. “Are you not from around here? Your accent’s different that american.” He stated pointing out something that he had noticed right off the bat. He finally after a second put the blade down.
bluesuitandsandshoes
‘Is that a police telephone box. Those are rare these days.’