[00:56] the music seemed to make the air around you pulse. or was that the only the press of people crammed together in a single house that was giving that effect? you couldn’t really tell anymore. all you knew for sure was that the music was loud and the house was crowded with unknown faces. if you had to guess, you thought you knew less than a quarter of the people here by name or face. though, you didn’t suppose that mattered too much, especially not when you had no worry of being without the ones you did know.
you had assumed the kitchen would be the least populated area of the party. and maybe it was, although you were starting to believe more in byounggon insisting that upstairs would have been immensely quieter than anywhere else. but the kitchen is where you had gone when you were still trying to find seunghun, and the kitchen is where you had stayed once you had found him. the music was playing from speakers in the living room, although you couldn’t have guessed it from where you stood. the bass seemed to move through your body enough to settle in your chest, and every brush of somebody moving passed you made you want to cringe back. you were beginning to think that even the smell clinging to every room was too much for you to continue handling.
the only feeling you weren’t desperately disliking in the moment was the weight of byounggon’s arm slung around your shoulders. the sound of his voice was mostly drowned out by the volume of everything else, although you could still feel his chest rumble as he spoke. and the feeling of his arm draped over you made you feel somewhat more comfortable in the mess of noise of bodies around you. as more people glided past you to make their way to the drinks, you found yourself slipping further into byounggon’s hold. even as he engaged with seunghun, he offered you a few glances that assured you he hadn’t forgotten you were still there.
byounggon dipped his head down, his mouth closer to your ear so he knew you’d hear him this time. “everything alright?” he asked, eyebrows raising at you warily.
you shrugged. “yeah. why?”
the wariness turned to suspicion. “you’re almost standing on my feet.” he offered by way of explanation, and you glanced away from him, feeling a flush of heat crawl up to your cheeks.
you tried to make yourself appear more unbothered, more aloof and uncaring. yet, you found yourself looking down to the floor – which was even worse, as you could see swarms of feet moving past you and milling about the space of the kitchen. “it’s just, kinda loud in here, isn’t it?” you suggested, hoping he’d catch on.
he did. and when he smiled down at you and responded only with, “yeah, and it’s hot, too. wanna go get some air?” you weren’t sure why you’d even been nervous in the first place. his arm dropped from your shoulders, moving to intertwine your hands instead. he said something that you couldn’t hear over the music to seunghun, who only smiled understandingly at you and pointed the back door out to byounggon.
moving through the crowd proved to be more challenging than slipping away from your friends. the mass of people all in their own conversations or their own circle became more of a struggle than you’d expected, and by the time you got to the part of the room crowded most thickly, you’d started to think that staying put would have been a better idea. if byounggon was bothered by the sheer amount of sweaty bodies knocking against him – as you found you were uncomfortably aware of in your own case – he didn’t show it, only continuing on through his path to the back door with your hand tightly gripped by his own.
the thinning of the crowd didn’t seem to happen noticeably. only one moment you were trying to make yourself as small as possible to get past everyone, and the next you were stood in front of the door, staring through the window on it into the darkness outside. byounggon pushed the handle down lightly, testing to see if it was unlocked before pushing it forward. for a fleeting second your breath caught in your throat, as you tried to quickly deduce what you’d do if the door was locked and there was no way out but back through the house to the front door. but when a slip of cold air greeted you, only growing more prevalent as the space between door and frame widened, your heart settled.
the night air was cool against your skin, a comforting change from the humid air of packed-in bodies inside the house. even as byounggon tugged you further towards the end of the garden, away from the people sat on the low wall and talking or smoking at the table, you felt your head begin to clear. once you’d both reached the bench by where the fence turned into a wall separating this garden from the neighbour’s, you felt almost normal again. even the air seemed cleaner out here, and you found yourself returning byounggon’s grin as you settled against the chilled wood of the bench.
“better?” byounggon asked, resting your interlocked hands against his thigh as he looked over at you.
his eyes looked darker than they had inside, which should have been an obvious thing except in the moment it made your heart feel tight with anticipation within your chest. you nodded quickly to answer his question, stumbling over a, “yeah, thank you,” as you watched his lips curl into more of a grin than before.
he nodded, humming as he didn’t glance away from you. usually he would, and you would both fall into a comfortable silence as you waited for either of you to have something to say. but his eyes were straying to look at your lips, and the hand that wasn’t pressed to yours was moving hesitantly to cup your cheek. the grin pulling your lips upwards seem to give him courage, and he let himself lean in until you could feel his breath fan against your face.
you almost didn’t hear his voice over the sound of your heart pounding against your chest. “can i kiss you?” he asked, voice light and verging on teasing. another smile lifted your lips even higher as you nodded at him, relishing the way his eyes flickered from your own back down to your lips as he leant closer.
when his lips touched yours, you felt a sudden bout of nervousness move through you. what if byounggon did everything right and you did everything wrong? what if he was a great kisser and you were the worst? what if he kissed you and then decided he didn’t actually like you that much? you tried as hard as you could to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of your mind, but it seemed impossible to forget. until his thumb began to trace small circles onto your cheek, as if he knew you needed distracting.
and once you’d been distracted, you were again left with the feeling that you didn’t know what you’d been nervous about in the first place. byounggon’s lips moved slowly and gently against your own, the taste of whatever he’d been drinking earlier still lingering and yet somehow not tasting bad. there as a nonchalance to his actions – from the way his hand loosely adjusted to cup your jaw to the lack of touching in general – that made you tighten your hand around his. the pressure in your chest was gone, leaving it light and full of an unreleased excited and childish laugh. you could feel byounggon smile against your lips, falling away from you as the grin spread too wide.
the moment after his lips were no longer pressed to yours, you found yourself missing the feeling. he didn’t say anything for a small while afterwards, only letting you drop your head to his shoulder in hopes of hiding the blush resting on your cheeks. when he seemed to eventually find his voice, or string together whatever words he thought were right, he only mumbled, “i love you.”
“i love you, too,” you mumbled against his hoodie. it barely took you a moment to think about responding, but when you recalled that you’d never heard him say those words yet – and you’d never had the courage before – you pulled away from him. your brain failed to think of something to say, and so you only smiled again, though softer this time. “can you kiss me again?” you heard yourself asking, though you weren’t sure where the sudden bout of any form of confidence had come from.
if byounggon had taken any notice of your sudden shift between too-flustered-to-speak and your question, he made no show of it. all he said was a quick, “of course,” before he leaned in to reconnect your lips to his.
so the big sad from thinking treasure13 n byounggon and seunghun weren’t gonna debut at all has worn off..........looks like it’s time to start writing again huh
hello! i just wanted to let anyone who waits for updates know that i’m going to be taking a short hiatus from writing. it shouldn’t be too long and i should be back to normal posting very soon. my mental health isn’t in the best place as of right now and finding the motivation to write has been really difficult for me. thank you to everyone who supports my writing and thank you for understanding ♡
warnings; hm maybe some swearing but nothing else :)
word count; 3.2k
requested; yes :) the junkyu one is already done and is under my writing// tag!
so what’s seunghun’s vibe i hear u ask? well it’s: ROMANCE
seunghun is the epitome of movie romance boy babey!!
you’d still meet him a very Normal and Generic setting, though
but it would still be super cute and the kind of experience where you think about it later that night and you gotta think ‘did that actually happen??’
i’m thinking a coffee shop because idk i got those chill vibes from seunghun
it’d be this really small niche coffee shop that plays the lo-fi hip-hop radio 24/7 and you only really go there because a. it’s small so there’s not a lot of people and b. the drinks are just so good?? you don’t know what they’re doing to make everything taste five star restaurant worthy but you don’t care!!
and one day you go there just to be chilled out and continue to work your way through the entire menu to test your theory that god himself is making these drinks
but when you’re just sitting and ~chilling~ you hear the door open
n you honestly don’t usually look up because it’ll just be another hipster teenager walking in, which is very valid and you’ve lowkey started to think that hipster fashion is maybe not so bad
(your friends disagree but i mean, who’s actually seeing hipster fashion up close and personal daily??)
but this time ur just like hm wonder who’s coming in today
and oh my god?? you feel like your brain has just short-circuited
there’s this cute ass boy with the softest looking hair wearing an oversized soft jumper walking into the shop with these pretty eyes that are glancing around to observe the space
and your interest is peaked, so you’re paying full attention to him now like godly drink? not important there is the most beautiful man over there and you are about ready to die with how shocked you are
and then he just. gets his coffee and you think he’s gonna turn and leave so you’re :((
but as he about reached the door he turns his head a little and he sees you and he’s like :O
tbh he’d probably actually gasp like yeah that’s seunghun and he’s shocked!
and he wants to walk over to your table but he doesn’t know if you want company or if you want to be left alone
so he’s 365 so stressed and rushes out of the coffee shop because omg he can’t make someone ((and himself)) nervous that’s too much to do in one day
and so now you’re left wondering like?? was that a good shocked face and run away? because that’s definitely not usually a good sign
but you go back the next day as usual except this time you’re waiting for something ((spoiler: it’s seunghun. you went there to see the Cute Boy.))
and tbh you don’t think he’s gonna come back because i mean who gasps and runs out of a building for a good reason
but he does!! and he’s being ‘sly’ okay seunghun trying to check to see if you’re there that day and when he sees you sat there like yesterday he’s so excited
he’s been getting prepped all throughout yesterday and mostly through the night because he didn’t sleep properly
but now he’s ready to go ask if he can sit with you and make nice polite pleasant conversation
forgive him he’s only on phase one of his long-term plan to marry the cute person he saw at the coffee shop
so he gets his coffee and he walks over to you and says in the uwu small text “hello! does anybody sit here or is this seat free?”
and i mean first of all it’s completely unnecessary for him to sit with you like there’s so many free seats
but lowkey yeah you’ve been thinking about him too so you’d say yes
even if there is the slight worry that he might be a serial killer you decide to Take The Chance this one time
and omg as soon as you said yes seunghun could swear his heart did a keyboard smash and then stopped beating for a whole minute
but he takes his seat! and then completely freezes
he just doesn’t know what to say at first :(( he’s worried he’ll say something weird or not say enough to impress you so he just sits quietly and drinks his coffee
but then he sees that you’re wearing this cute lil necklace so he’s like “wowie!! that necklace is super cute :))”
and of course you’d say “omg!! thank you so much!!”
and like tbh. he gets so much confidence from them on. he just takes that one small comments and creates a whole conversation from
he asks where you got the necklace, if you shop there often, if you shop overall often, what other things you like to shop for, what other things you like in general
when it gets to a time that either one of you have to leave, seunghun genuinely wouldn’t want to, and if he had plans he’d check to see if he could cancel them without feeling guilty to spend time with you
but if you had to leave or if he couldn’t cancel his plans he’s gonna be a sad boy
you honestly just feel like you’ve been on a date tbh
so you’d honestly forget the inhibition and be like “aw :(( well it’s okay just give me your number so we can do this again!”
and you only realise when he does the same face he did yesterday that oh whoops maybe you didn’t fully realise that you were saying that
he just makes you feel really comfortable so you honestly forget about things that would’ve made you nervous with other people
but once he recovers from the shock he’d just be like “:] yeah okay that sounds fine with me”
and he just wants to talk to you 24/7!! but he refrains from texting you all the time because he doesn’t want you to end up finding him annoying :-)
tbh though he’d respond to your texts pretty quickly all the time either way? if he’d been talking to you all day, then his responses would take like ten seconds while he typed them out. but if you hadn’t been talking to him at all, his responses would probably still only take fifteen minutes max unless he was busy with something
on that note, he’d tell you whenever he was busy with things so you didn’t ever think he was purposefully ignoring you
and he’d take you out to different coffee shops in an attempt to prove or disprove your theory about the niche lil one you go to
and if you had hobbies like visiting museums or shopping? he’d totally come along with you!!
brings you along on little trips he takes too!! if he’s going to buy something from a store he doesn’t usually go to? guess who he’s inviting!!
tries to make you push him around in the cart to see how long you can go until a staff member tells him to get out (your current record is an hour and twenty-one minutes)
tbh everyone around you would probably think you were dating?? like your friends just assume you’ve told him that you like him already and now you’re just dating
and seunghun’s probably told his friends that he was In Love with you the day he met you, because he firmly believes in soulmates even if he friends don’t
after being close friends with you for like six months you’d probably think it was time to give him a big speech about how you like him as more than just a friend
so you sit him down and give him this whole lengthy rehearsed statement like “first of all, seunghun, i really don’t want to ruin this friendship…”
and by the time you’re done rambling about how much you think he’s amazing and perfect in every way he’s like
“well, i’m really touched, seriously, i’m tearing up a little…” and you’re like :(( he’s trying to let me down gently at least, but then he just goes, “but i thought we were already dating???”
and, first of all, you’re kinda just like ok damn that was seriously unnecessary then huh. but second of all, that’s definitely not bad news!!
so you kinda just laugh n say, “we never agreed that !”
and he’d say “well you know i kinda just assumed :( my bad”
and then you become the meme (you know the one where the guy’s like “that ain’t no problem, that ain’t no problem!” that one)
but anyway! now you have a big babey as your boyfriend so you struck out there
and like. nothing changes? you’d have thought that at least something would change but now he just gets to kiss you!! and that’s about it
seunghun is a hand holding enthusiast, first of all
he loves making you really do really obscure odd things with him that if anyone else asked you to do you’d be like ‘no wtf’
but with seunghun it’s like: go find the strangest most ugly painting in an art store and take a picture of you imitating them mood it portrays? sure that sounds fun! even more fun when you actually buy it!
or maybe he wants to make a scarecrow entirely out of pictures of himself? and you’re just like, “sure, yeah, that sounds like a fun activity”
idk if this is just an english thing or if it’s world-wide but you know like pub knowledge quizzes? he’d make you go to things like that on subjects neither of you have no idea about at all
but he’d also do really cute things with you or for you sometimes :(
like, he’ll buy cards with pretty art or cute cartoons on the front and write you lil short paragraphs about a different aspect of you that he loves
or he’ll get a collection of different flower bouquets and put them all together for you
and he’s not scared to admit it either!! if you bring it up in front of other people’s he doesn’t get embarrassed because that’s his mfing baby!!
gives you about a thousand kisses every day but his favourite kind of kiss is when you give him lil pecks or pepper his cheeks with kisses :)) they make him feel all warm n cuddly n safe
all of his kisses are very sweet and soft for the most part though
and tbh he doesn’t really kiss you for any other reason than a. he knows you like being kissed omg and b. it’s such a cute lil way of showing affection
he also adores having the classic late night conversations
okay but: seunghun loves going outside late at night, he doesn’t care really whether it’s cold or warm but summer nights after a long day are his favourites, and lying or sitting on a blanket with you and having you both go off on different tangents about a thousand different things you’ve been thinking of or that you have an opinion on
for example, his fixation with soulmates
you ask him one of the many times you’re sat outside looking at the stars with him why he’s so obsessed with the concept of soulmates
and he’d kinda just shrug at you and be like “i just really do think they’re real. i really, really believe in them. that’s about it.” and he’s got these big cute eyes that are reflecting the stars and you’re two seconds away from giving him a smooch
but he’s not done!! he’d go on to be like, “well i mean. i did think they were real, but now i know they’re real because i’ve met mine.”
you might cry a lil bit at that. that’s understandable.
but he’s smiling so softly and his eyes are so starry and pretty and he’s like “can i give you a kiss :-)”
and you’re just like :(( yeah, yes pls
you’d realise a while into your relationship that he’d gotten a necklace that matched the one he’d complimented when he first met you too
and when you’d ask him why he’d tell you it was because he wanted a reminder of you and meeting you with him always
if you came to watch him practice or expressed an overt interest in his debut or anything to do with his passion he’d be so happy!! he’d love to explain things to you, or show you new choreographies and songs he was working on
i feel like seunghun’s the type to wanna have lil conversations before bed
he already knows how your day’s been because if he hasn’t been keeping in regular contact with you throughout the day, he’s definitely asked you the second he sees you
he just wants to have another run-down over it so he can comment on stuff more in depth if he hadn’t had the chance before
tells you about his day and discusses how he’s felt about things so he can hear your opinion on them too
omg but you two would definitely spill tea together i mean, if there’s drama in your day? guess who’s getting a text w a tea emoji so he knows you have something to tell him about when you see him in person
and if he sees some stuff go down? he’d probably straight up call you in a bathroom to start telling you the story before he had to rush off to make sure he didn’t miss anything
you two just gossip. you both know everything about everyone. that one girl from your class who sits in the second row and always has to borrow a pencil from someone and you think it’s because she likes someone in the class? he knows about that. he has a theory on that.
we all also know seunghun’s kinda loud right?
because if he’s hyping you up, he’s Hyping You Up
you go out shopping with him and some friends? they’re like “wow that’s a cute shirt!!” but seunghun’s like “you are the most beautiful human being on this planet” (bass boosted)
has two different reactions when you compliment him:
either it’s “omg not here i’m gonna blush and that will so embarrassing for the both of us!!!”
or it’s “thank you for saying my shoes are nice i would die for you :-*”
either way, you’re just like :] of course any-time buddy
onto another topic, seunghun has a range of different pet-names for you
in private it’s like “my angel !! my baby !! my princess !! my lil love-bug cuddle-bug uwu machine wife !!”
but in public it’s like your full name. or maybe ‘babe’ if he’s feeling bold.
he just doesn’t want his friends to tease him because he Knows they would never let him live it down if they heard his nicknames for you
also seunghun seems like the type to leave you audio messages instead of just texting you? especially if he was gonna say something cute because now there can’t be any screenshots
(if u two have tea to spill and have to be apart, you best believe you’re sending each other audio of you laughing or commenting or at the very least giving a dramatic rendition of how arguments happened)
but his normal audio messages are usually just him telling you that he loves you a lot :) and he hopes you have a good day :) and reminders to eat and drink regularly :) and if you ever show this to anyone he’ll fight you >:)
just so you know, play-fighting doesn’t exist with seunghun because the concept is dumb to him
so either you’re wwe fighting or you’re not qualified to fight him
saying that, if you try and tickle him, it’s over. just don’t do it. he will not accept that sort of treachery in his home
funny how he says that and then would also spend a couple of hours cuddling you while you’re wrapped up in blanket so you can ‘feel like you would on a cloud’
the duality!
still makes you do dumb stuff after you start dating though that’s not going away
you wanna go for a walk as soon as the sun starts to rise so you can see the sky change colours and look really pretty? how can you say no to that offer!
he’d do that but then get genuinely concerned when you say you’re tired before at the very least after 5pm
he just doesn’t like the idea of you not being healthy and happy
on this topic, i really don’t think seunghun’s the type to argue? about anything?
he just. he just doesn’t get angry very often tbh. maybe he’d get annoyed with you occasionally but if he has an issue with something you’re doing he’ll just tell you bro he’s not pressed about it
and he really expects you to do the same if it’s something that you seriously don’t like because he won’t be offended by it
he’s a firm believe that you’re both best friends!! you can tell each other anything and nothing comes with negatives if it’s something you need to address with one another!!
like, getting jealous? yeah, he does!! but he’s rational and he knows he can trust you so what’s there to get seriously mad about
and if you get jealous? that’s fine, as long as you know too that he’s serious about how you two are supposed to be able to fully trust one another so you don’t need to be worried about anything
he doesn’t get snappy when he’s tired, he just wants to take a nap and maybe get a cuddle while he does :))) as long as you’re fine with that, he’s not bothered
he’d get quite upset if you snapped at him though, and he’d make sure to tell you whenever you calmed down from your mood that you can just tell him if you’re not in a good place or if you’re tired and he’ll give you your space
he always seems like a person who’s so quick to bounce back from things? and i think he’d like to be able to just rant at you sometimes about how he’s really feeling before he has to rationalise it just so he isn’t bottling anything up
gives you genuine heart eyes when you remind him that it’s okay for him to have normal human emotional reactions to things like everybody else does
tbh seunghun would give you heart eyes all the time :///
i feel like this one’s been shorter than others but i just. i just honestly think dating seunghun would be a really nice pleasant experience?
he’s just such a genuinely good person and has so much he wants to do with you
(he’d probably make a lil bucket list hhhhh)
would probably conclude that he’s definitely gonna marry you from the very moment he first started talking to you tbh
like he would constantly remind you, he firmly believes that you two are actual soulmates, so no problem is too big for the both of you to face in his eyes :((
[16:19] yedam sat with his back to his bedroom door, intently focused on the blank page of his notebook in front of him. he was willing words to come to him so he’d know what to write, his hand that was holding the pen had been still for too long for his liking. sighing softly, he flicked a couple pages back in the book, seeing the lines full of his handwriting, all the different paragraphs and sentences he’d combined together into songs, or sometimes just nonsensical rants, about the same thing. the only title he gave them was a date and a time, never addressing them because he knew if anyone found them they’d already know who it was intended towards, he knew his friends definitely did.
his eyes got caught when his hand slipped to drop the pages open onto the first double-spread page of the notebook laying in front of him, his eyes skimming along the swooping words and his heart beating faster against his chest as he read over it again. it had been three months since he’d written those two pages out, and he was very nearly at the end of the notebook by now. the double-page had stickers on it, love-heart shaped or flower printed stickers that you’d given him when you’d bought a children’s colouring book together with the challenge of filling it all in just a day.
the words on the page were an childishly excited rendition of the events that had taken place that day, all that had lead him to kissing you for the first time, accidentally smudging some of his pens ink along your cheekbone as he did so. at the time, he’d been impossibly embarrassed the second after he realised he’d done it, but the way you laughed and pressed your lips back to his had soothed his nerves a moment later. he’d written about every aspect of that day he could remember; from the way the skin of your cheek felt as he traced his thumb over it, to the way your hair had fallen in your face, all the way to a lengthy description about the way your lips had moved smoothly against his own.
he felt heat bubble under his cheeks as his eyes glanced over the memory again, his fingers skipping the pages back to the blank one so he could finally begin writing properly. his grip on the pen tightened considerably, his brain struggling to think of a way to tell you that he loved you without simply writing the words, ‘i love you,’ out onto his page. his friends would ask him sometimes why he didn’t just say things to you, why he didn’t tell you the things he would spend hours writing about instead of filling notebooks and pieces of scrap paper he’d find with them instead of just voicing his feeling to you. in truth, he had no real answer to that question, only that he always seemed to have too much to say to be able to just say them to you.
leaning closer to his desk, he scrunched his eyes closed as he attempted to think of a good way to begin, his mind drawing blank after blank. he wanted to think of a good way to say that he felt so much for you that his heart constantly felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, that sometimes when you’d smile at him he could swear his brain had gone blank – he wanted to say everything he’d written about you before again, just to make sure you knew it was true. but you didn’t. of course you didn’t, you couldn’t unless he finally found the courage to show you the piles worth of writing he’d done about you. assumedly, you’d find it weird if he handed you even more writing despite how much he’d handed over to you the day he’d finally found the bout of confidence to let you know how he felt about you.
just as he was about to feel a rush of frustration spread across his chest, he felt a pair of arms curl around his shoulders, making him jump in his chair slightly. turning his head a little, he saw you grin at him from where you stood, leaning down to pepper a small collection of kisses to his cheeks as he groaned in entirely fake annoyance. you laughed softly, pulling away from him but keeping your arms draped around him as his own curled around your waist, a huff falling from his lips as you slipped from his grasp to sit on the edge of his bed.
he took a wary glance back at his notebook, carefully setting his pen down even with the hints of disappointment that he hadn’t even started his writing lingering around him. looking back over at you, he saw the way you bevelled your head at him in curiosity, the smallest of buzzes of concern beginning to cross over your features. yedam offered you a smile, hoping it would soothe any worry you had for him.
“are you trying to write another song?” you inquired gently, not wanting him to feel as if you were prying into something private.
he sighed, offering you a shrug as he pulled in a shaky breath, “not sure, really.” he glanced up again, catching your eyes as his hand moved to grasp yours lazily, “i don’t think it’s gonna be a song, though,” he said quietly.
you nodded, wondering if you should prompt him to tell you more or leave it alone, deciding on the first as he seemed to be holding something in his chest. “what’re you trying to write about?” you pushed, hoping he’d tell you some sort of detail about it, “can i help?” you offered, tilting your head at him as he smiled brightly at you.
yedam felt his heart flutter lightly in his chest, his head shaking at you as his hands came to pick his notebook up from the table, “yeah, yeah, you can,” he began, clearing his throat as his fingers danced nervously over the spine of the book, his eyes dropping away from yours, “can i tell you something kind of embarrassing?”
at this, the corners of your mouth twitched upwards in a intrigued grin, “always,” you spoke evenly, calming some of his more alive nerves.
he chuckled breathily, opening the book to the front page and giving it another glance over, “so, i, i keep this book to do writing,” he started, grimacing slightly as the jumble of words left his mouth, having your suppressed giggle meet his ears, “to do writing about you, actually.” he finished, his voice falling to a mumble as your laughter stopped in its tracks.
throwing his pride aside, he spared a quick glance up, seeing you were looking at him with your lips parted slightly, your eyes shifting between him and the notebook clutched tightly in his hands. he smiled sheepishly, “you can, um, you can read it, if you want.” watching as you nodded at him before he even finished his sentence.
you felt strange holding the notebook in your hands, worry that you would do something wrong with it overcoming you as you opened it to the first page, seeing it was just a very colourful decoration of your name in a heart. glancing over the edge of the book to yedam, you saw he was avoiding looking at you, staring instead at his fingers as they tangled around one another nervously. you weren’t even sure when his hand had dropped away from your own, but you reached the one that had been gripping his over to be closer to him, smiling at him soothingly as he slipped one of his hands to hold yours warmly.
flipping the page as well as you could with one hand, you opened it to the first double-page spread, seeing the stickers you vividly remembered giving to yedam out of a colouring book. you carefully read over the words, a smile settling onto your face as you did, feeling as though you were reliving one of your own memories through yedam’s eyes. the amount of details he had included, both from how he was feeling and how he guessed you were feeling, made a blush light your cheeks up into a soft pink.
you glanced up at yedam as you finished on the second page, “is the whole book like this?” you asked incredulously, feeling as though your eyes should be comically wide and your mouth should be dropped open in shock.
another breathy laugh passed from his lips, “yeah,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes trained on your linked hands, “is that bad?” he questioned, looking up to catch your eyes.
blinking a few times, you shook your head quickly, “no, i, can i read all of it? really?” you prompted, watching as he grinned while he nodded at you, although his eyes slipped away from yours for a sceptical moment. “yedam?” you spoke, waiting until you had his attention back on you, “what were you trying to write?”
at this, he breathed in deeply, laughing again as if in disbelief of something. “i was trying to think of a way to tell you that i love you,” he said, his voice remaining even and confident as he spoke, almost surprising him as much as it evidently did to you. you fumbled for a moment, unsure of whether he was really directly implying that he actually loved you. yedam just made sure he was still holding your eye contact as he spoke again, “i should’ve just said it really, shouldn’t i?”
you nodded, swallowing thickly before mirroring his earlier action of releasing a breathless sounding laugh, “yeah,” you began, watching as yedam leant back in his chair. you shrugged at him, “doesn’t really matter, though,” you offered, “i love you, too, either way.”
from his place in the chair, yedam grinned as he heard those words pass your lips. he let himself glance around, observing every detail about you in this moment as his mind already began to think of the different ways he could write about the first time he’d worked his courage up to tell you he loved you.
[20:21] the room around the two of you was silent except for the soft music playing from yedam’s phone and the sound of colouring pens scratching against the paper of the colouring book lying open in front of you both. you focused intently on the task in front of you, not sparing small glances back at the clock as yedam was doing.
when he’d shown up to your house earlier in the day and you’d ask what his suggestions for the two of you to do that day, you hadn’t expected him to challenge you to fill in an entire colouring book with him over the span of a day. it had seemed fitting that yedam would give you something to do that was both productive and entirely pointless. you were still leant up on your knees by the table, although the different pens had been knocked and thrown around the space of the living room enough times now for it to be next to impossible to find a specific one. checking the floor to see if the red you hadn’t found on the table was there, you couldn’t spot it. looking over to yedam, you saw the orange clutched in his active hand, the red being held lazily by the other, the orange spanning out over a cloud in the book, making you squint slightly to make sure you were seeing it correctly.
you took the passing moment in waiting for yedam to place the red back to skim through what was left of the book, seeing that you actually didn’t have many more pages left to fill. as you reached the back you found a loose piece of paper, tugging on it softly to reveal all of it, seeing it was a sheet of stickers. your lips twitched upwards in a grin, and you pulled the yellow heart off the page and reached over to yedam, gently pressing it onto his cheek. the sensation didn’t appear to startle him at all, although he did offer you a quizzical look as he reached his hand that still clung to the red pen over to snake the paper from your hands.
his smile grew to match your own, “which colour heart do you want?” he asked seriously, glancing up only to raise his eyebrows as you grew increasingly close to him. you chuckled softly, nodding to where your hand was just about to grip the red pen and pull it towards you, watching as he shuffled in his position, “colour?” he prompted again.
humming softly, you dropped your head to rest on his shoulder while you looked at your options, seeing the hearts give way to stickers in the shape of flowers and stars. the feeling of looking at them through eyes that had been indulging the more childlike hobby of colouring all day made a buzz of nostalgia go through you.
letting out a soft sigh, you tapped the purple love heart, grinning as yedam pulled it off and began ushering you off of his shoulder. he turned himself to face you better, smiling brightly as he placed the sticker onto your skin with a touch so light you barely recognised it was there. his movements afterwards were clumsier, and you’d forgotten he wasn’t using his strong hand to place the sticker onto your cheek, seeing now that his hand that clutched the orange pen was in its exact same place from earlier.
you kept your back pressed against the sofa as yedam went back to colouring, determined to finish his continuing task of finishing the entire book. you’d go back to it in a second, you concluded, moving your hand to pick the sticker sheet that yedam had dropped onto the table-top up again, looking over the different shapes and colours decorating it. yedam had noticed your absence from your previous position, glancing back to see you were sat staring at the sheet in your hands, he tipped his head at you.
“when i used to get stickers as a kid, i’d put them everywhere in my room,” you said, hoping it would come across as an explanation.
yedam nodded, “hmm, are you thinking about using them as décor again?” he questioned, sitting up and flattening his voice to sound like the sales people on tv.
laughing softly, you shook your head, “didn’t you ever do that as a kid? they were so hard to get rid of once you’d stuck them down,” you explained, watching as he rolled his eyes at you.
“i had a childhood, too, so yes, i know,” he retorted, reaching to take the paper from you again, earning an eyebrow raise from you.
for a moment, he remained silent, focusing instead on the stickers, his brow furrowed in silence as he looked for something. after a minute, a grin of pride overcame his features, “this one’s you,” he declared, pointing the end of his pen at the sunshine sticker in the corner of the page.
you laughed, feeling silly for the light blush that fought its way to rest on your cheeks, snaking the page from his hands and taking it back for yourself. you looked over it intensely, focused in on finding one for him until a wide grin overtook your features. “this one!” you exclaimed, pointing at a cloud that had hearts for eyes and a bright smile decorating it. yedam dipped his head closer to yours so he could see, his features mirroring your own as they lit up in childish happiness at the sight.
when you looked back up finally, you noted how close yedam’s face was to yours, and it was as if you were only now just seeing how soft his lips looked. he caught your eyes, still smiling softly as he looked between your eyes and your lips, following along with your actions as you leant in closer to him. he curled his hand around your jaw, pausing before his lips had a chance to touch yours, “can…can i kiss you?” he asked quietly. nodding, you reached your hands to timidly cup his jaw, feeling his breath ghost over your face as he closed the sliver of distance between the two of you.
his lips pressed to yours impossibly softly, moving cautiously against your own as he let you take control of the tempo. not entirely sure of what to do, you felt clumsy and uncertain as he moved his hand up to cup your other cheek and guide you further into the kiss. you felt the pen-tip scrape against your cheek, a laugh passing your lips as you dropped away from yedam for a brief moment, watching as he opened and closed his mouth to apologise before tossing the pen somewhere across the room. he cupped your face confidently with both hands, re-connecting your lips to his in one smooth movement. you began to feel as if the moment was moving through some kind of dreamy rose-gold filter, like if you opened your eyes right now they’d be the shape of hearts with yedam’s name written in pretty cursive along them.
his thumb stretched out to trace along your cheek, his lips not speeding up against your own as your heart slammed against your chest. you wanted to know what he was feeling right now, if his heart was beating as fast as yours, if he could feel the layer of nerves that would be making his hands shake if they weren’t pressed to you like you know yours would be. he disconnected himself from you, a breathy chuckle falling to meet the parting of your lips as you mirrored the response, feeling a warm blush settle itself onto your cheeks as you looked down at your hands.
yedam’s hands still hadn’t left your cheeks, and he used them to tilt your head back up so he could catch your eyes again, his lips quirked upwards in a seemingly permanent excited grin.
he didn’t know what to do with himself, and he knew you were feeling exactly the same, so he just checked to make sure you were still feeling okay. tilting his head at you again, you met his eyes curiously, watching as he laughed before speaking, “would it be alright if i kissed you again?”
