Wherever The Wind Blows

"Sometimes it's just hard figuring out who you should be, instead of who you want to be." - Fjord from Critical Role

[bcckmcskcd]

"Yeah but you won't be pink elephant drunk," she teased. "Don't worry; I won't let you do anything embarrassing if you decide to let a little loose." She knew she'd be indulging a little more than usual. Confessing your feelings was nerve wracking, and even though Ven seemed to return the feelings, she still felt like things would just go over easier if she was less sober. "What?" Asuka paused, quickly downing the rest of her drink so she could set the cup down, gripping Ven's shoulders with both her hands, stopping him in his tracks.

"Ven, you're adventurous, and kind, and you try so, so hard to make sure everyone else is happy, even to your own determent. Well, okay, that last part isn't exactly a good thing, but my point is - you care. A lot. You're so sweet and caring and there's almost nothing more attractive to me than someone who gives a fuck about people other than themselves." She paused, feeling like the entire conversation was too heavy. "Your abs don't hurt either."

[venofalltrades]

Ven laughed, "I can let loose without needing to be carried," he said shaking his head. That and if he was honest a small part of him was worried about every getting that drunk in a town like this. He stumbled to a stop when Asuka grabbed him, having been mid sip and setting his drink down at the look on her face. Briefly he grimaced over his own flaw getting pointed out to him, especially by someone he was indeed trying to make sure was happy even if he wasn't always happy.

Another nervous chuckle slipped out and he ran a hand through his hair before shaking his head. "You're going to give me a huge ego at this rate, I'll need an Utena talk to keep me humble," he mumbled softly. He bit his lip in thought before chuckling again, "Well good to know I'm keeping up my workout routine well enough," he said. The thought kept nagging his mind, finally settling on what he wanted to do. Cupping her face with both his hands he leaned and pressed a quick kiss to her lips, "Sorry...probably should have asked just...you're being really sweet and cute..and I just really wanted to do that to be honest."

[bcckmcskcd]

"I wish I could have experienced Drunk Ven. I bet you were very cute," She almost tripped at his question, cheeks burning. He was the only boy she ever really talked about, but even still, that felt like too much to admit. "Um, well. I mean. In a round about way. It was sort of. Weird. To tell Imogen about it since I know about..." She just gestured vaguely. "But. Yes." She didn't dare look at him, the flush now spreading up to her ears. "I'm sorry."

[venofalltrades]

"I mean I can get a little drunk today," Ven said chuckling nervously, he knows he can also be affectionate with his words and hugs, half worried he'll embarrass himself. He blinked taking a sip of his drink before slowly nodding, "To be honest I forget that's how I met her, it was just the one time," he's not sure why he's clarifying but he feels like he should. His brow furrowed and he nudged her with his shoulder, "Why are you sorry? It's cute...I'm not really sure I'm worth all this hype, but...," trailing off he chuckled again, "I don't know, you're just like this really smart, caring and amazing girl and I'm just...Ven."

[darkestxdreams]

He had thought about how bummed he was to not be streaming anymore, but Cyrus had not really thought about his subscribers wondering what happened to him. "I was thankfully between playthroughs at the time, so at least nobody will be wondering if I lost my touch and got stuck halfway through a game." Though he probably was losing his touch now since he was going without playing for far too long. He gave a sarcastic snort at Ven's comment. "I wish. But I guess I got the next best thing, 'cause I own the video store, so I can use that attached arcade to brush up on my old school gaming at least."

[venofalltrades]

Talking about their old lives had Ven realizing how much he actually missed traveling, just being on the road with his people and excited for the next new thing he'd be trying out. The town could be awfully stifling when it came to the usual monotony people found themselves in. "Hey that's something at least, could always do an event for the high scores, least have some folks watching you," he joked, before taking a long sip of his drink, "How's the whole video store thing work? Like you got a way to get anything new or just gotta get lucky?"

[bcckmcskcd]

"Ven! No!" Asuka tugged at his arm a little before accepting the drink, taking a small sip. "That sounds like a very Imogen move, but not a Utena move. I'm shocked you managed to convince them to do that - the getting you a second one. I fully believe they could carry you home." She giggled a little at the story, but flushed. "I just um. Start talking about cute boys that I have a crush on. It's really not that interesting."

[venofalltrades]

"Hey sometimes Utena indulges me," Ven said giving a small shrug and a sheepish grin. He was still more than a little embarrassed how out of it he'd been that night. Sipping idly at his drink he was watching her curiously, a smile tugging at his lips over the flush on her cheeks, it was hard not to smile when she was cute. He swirled the drink in his hand before looking at her and chuckling nervously, "You said you have a crush on me, did I make the cut for cute boys to talk about?"

[exmcrtis]

"you're a much stronger man than myself, ven. my parents weren't around a lot, so i learned most things on my own, and looking back now i kinda prefer it that way. i didn't love having to practically raise my siblings, but i also didn't mind much. funny how people can grow up so wildly different." faye smiled softly, head shaking to answer his question. "not really, but it's my own choice. if i don't stay busy i have too much time to really think about the trajectory of my life, and then i'm sent into an existential crisis. i prefer not to rest or relax."

[venofalltrades]

Ven shook his head, "I wasn't strong, I was passive," he mumbled feeling his cheeks heat up, "Strong is raising and caring for everyone else around you." He felt a frown tug at his lips, before he bit his lip in thought. "I mean ending up in this town wasn't anyone's plan, but that the only part of the trajectory you not happy about?" he asked genuinely curious and trying to understand her better.

[bcckmcskcd]

"It would be dorky!" She insisted. Nothing about Ven felt like a light weight, but Asuka kept her mouth shut. "Pink elephants? That's a story I need to hear." She paused. "Imogen never really made a big deal about me keeping up. I mean, we can keep up okay, but when it's hard for me to walk and I start -" she cut her self off, flushing. "Anyway, she knows when I need to be guided home."

[venofalltrades]

"You know just for that I'm finding someone to write one, just to prove you wrong," Ven replied playfully sticking his tongue out at her. He felt his cheeks flush, opting to pay for their drinks and hand her one before walking with her. "Imogen got us these really fancy fishbowl cocktails, cause they were pink and big they called them pink elephants. There was a limit one per person, but I really wanted a second one so Utena got me one. Last thing I remember is saying thanks. Utena says they carried me home singing that pink elephant song from Dumbo." His cheeks were bright red as he took a sip of his margarita, "So yeah, you gonna tell me what you start doing then?"

[bcckmcskcd]

"Shut up!" Asuka gently smacked his arm, though there was barely any force behind it. "We don't need a theme song." She couldn't help but laugh at the question, shaking her head. "Ven, I am barely over five feet tall and barely any muscle. If I tried to drink you under the table, I think I'd die."

[venofalltrades]

"Why not it? It be cool," Ven said grinning at her and giving a small shrug. "Hey you never know, maybe I'm a lightweight," he quipped as the moved up the line. He gave a sheepish chuckle, "I mean I kind of was one, then Imogen joined, it was either get a higher tolerance or end up passed out in the booth mumbling about pink elephants again."

[exmcrtis]

"oh you had those kind of parents, huh? almost a little helicoptery and a little too into what you were doing?" faye pulled a face at the thought, though she was happy to stop thinking about it when ven went onto explain his past hobbies. "i can't really blame you for not being able to sit still that long, because i can't either. i do still work as a midwife, and it's because i made expectant mothers and babies my whole entire life. that tends to happen when you're left to care for your siblings because your parents can't bother to."

[venofalltrades]

"More like full helicopter, like don't get me wrong they were good at teaching me to do things on my own but it was all super hands on," Ven said shaking his head. His brow furrowed, "Geez can't even imagine, I was an only child, RV crew was the first time I felt responsible for someone. Really great you're a midwife, pretty sure the town is grateful for you. You actually managing to find time to rest?" He knows Asuka had mentioned it was hard for Faye to take time for herself, wondering if he could get her to sit and enjoy some food.

[bcckmcskcd]

"Okay," Asuka reluctantly away from Ven, but she sort of felt like she was causing a scene. "Asuka and Ven having fun in the sun sounds like a very wholesome, slice of life anime. I'd watch it," she joked, letting out a soft hum at his question. "Well, if we're having fun in the sun, it's gotta be a margarita. We can have beers any day of the week."

[venofalltrades]

"Hey I'm not above finding some musicians to make us a theme song," Ven said grinning as he turned to lead her to wards the margarita booth. He could've sworn he'd seen Imogen and Utena in line but they were nowhere near now. "So is this where I find out you can drink me under the table?"

[bcckmcskcd]

Asuka let out a slow, even huff. "It feels dumb. I don't want to share my feelings about Trixie because I know that the way we look at things are very different. I've heard you talk about her, but I've never seen her or interacted with her." She let her fingers curl into the fabric of Ven's shirt, counting his heartbeats just to have something to focus on. "Maybe we should just get drinks. I don't usually turn to alcohol to get rid of my problems, but today feels like an okay day to do that."

[venofalltrades]

"Well like I said, we don't have to have that talk today, honestly I rather just be Asuka and Ven, having fun in the sun," Ven replied giving her another squeeze as he held her. He was nodding, "Think I can give both of us a pass for today on that," he agreed. Pulling back he slid his hands down to take one of hers back in his, "Margarita then? Or do you want to stick to beer?"

[bcckmcskcd]

"I know; and that's why I feel so dumb about it," Asuka mumbled. "I know it's been a really long time, and I shouldn't be surprised at all that she's so pretty." She relaxed into the hug, pressing her palms to his shoulder blades, and she couldn't help but laugh at his question. "Us just doing what we always do counts as slow, Ven." She turned her head so she could press her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat for a moment. "I just don't have to feel like I'm going to explode with a confession every two days."

[venofalltrades]

"Stop calling it dumb," Ven chastised tone both light and also serious as he shook his head, "Like I said, you're pretty." He knew eventually things would settle down but it seemed like a better idea to move past comparisons than humor them for long. He grinned when she laughed, more than a bit relieved considering how close to tears she'd looked moments ago. "Yeah, I'd prefer if you didn't explode. Pretty sure I'd have two angry blondes and a redhead to answer to," he felt his cheeks flush wondering if she could clearly hear his heart racing. "Did you still want to get food or just go for drinks?"

[bcckmcskcd]

"I like being with you guys," Asuka murmured. "It was a weird, much needed stability when I felt like things were falling apart." She felt relief when he took her hand, letting out a soft sigh. "It's dumb, I know. You guys dated forever ago. I trust you and I shouldn't be insecure about her, but I can't logic my feelings into cooperating." She nodded slightly. "I think slow is good. We don't want to freak out Imogen and Utena." She shot him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry I called you Ventus."

[venofalltrades]

Ven smiled brushing his thumb against the back of her hand before slowly nodding his head again, "It's not dumb, quit saying that," he said firmly. He bit back a sigh, "I can understand that, I'll be honest I know it'll take time and that it's new for you," he started recalling Lance's comments, "But it's not for me, I moved on a long time ago and I don't want everything to have that hanging over it forever." Chuckling he shook his head, hesitating before pulling her towards him and into a hug, "You can call me Ventus or Ven, whichever you want," he said before glancing down at her, "Wait...hugs are slow right? I mean we've been hugging and...what is slow for us actually?"

[bcckmcskcd]

His hands felt warm on her cheeks, and she was forced to look at him, even if she didn't want to. "You are just you, and that's why you're perfect. You're kind, and considerate, and caring. You always want to cheer someone up even if you're struggling yourself." Asuka gave him a brief, pointed look. "Yes, I have a crush on you. I didn't want you to know because I didn't want things to change because I've had enough change for a lifetime in the last few months. And I don't really want to just pour all my insecurities out on the beachfront if you don't mind me not answering that because if I have to I'm going to start crying."

[venofalltrades]

"You know all of that literally applies to you," Ven said feeling his cheeks redden even more. He chuckled nervously at the look she shot him glancing down and biting his lip. Slowly letting go of her face he took one of her hands in his again before nodding. "Ok I can understand that, I just...," he swallowed giving her a nervous smile, "You're really pretty and I've liked having you with us...like a lot. I just didn't want to make things weird cause you live with us and everything." Giving her hand another squeeze he gave a small shrug, "I really like you Asuka, and I'm cool with slow, but I do want to talk about today at some point. But I can wait till it's less fresh."

[bcckmcskcd]

"Ventus!" Asuka almost never used his full name, but the shock on her face was louder. "Of course not. It's not - no." She shook her head once, hard. "Nothing about you has changed. Not even for a second." She hated seeing him so hurt and confused. "She was very nice." Asuka looked down at her shoes, trying to fight back tears again. Her hands felt cold without Ven's in them; but it was better this way. He couldn't pull them away when she said it. "I just have this very stupid and unworthy crush on you, and talking to her just made me continue to realize that. That's all. You didn't do anything. You're always perfect."

[venofalltrades]

Ven jumped head whipping up to meet her gaze, usually the only one in the crew who full named him was Utena, more than a little caught off guard by it. His hands twitched at his side wanting to reach out but unsure if she even wanted that, he didn't like seeing her upset even less when he seemed to be the reason and had no idea what he'd done. "I'm not...Asuka I'm not perfect, I'm just me," he said slowly shaking his head, reaching forward he put his hands on her face, moving so she'd look at him. "You have a crush on me?" he asked softly feeling his cheeks flush before the rest registered, "Wait...how did talking to Trixie make you feel like that?"

[bcckmcskcd]

"It's not about that," Asuka shook her head. "I just-" this is not how she had planned the day to go, but she hadn't expected Trixie to be so pretty and perky and blonde. It occurred to Asuka that Ven was upset, but she couldn't understand why. "It's sometimes just weird talking to people from someone's past. It makes you think about things you didn't before." She shook her head a little. "It's really not that big of a deal, Ven. What's wrong? Are you upset that I talked to Trixie? I thought you two were friends so I wanted to say hi."

[venofalltrades]

"I'll be honest I didn't even realize you'd been talking," Ven admitted, he'd seen them near each other but he'd been in his own conversation to think much on it. He chewed on his lip letting of her hand, "I'm not upset you guys talked, that's cool...," he trailed off again. It felt like everyone else was in on something that he was on the outside of while being a part if it. "Did..did you guys not get along or something? I mean talking to her really change how you see me that much?"

[bcckmcskcd]

His comment made her giggle at the very least. "Yes, you're very sturdy." Asuka paused, giving Ven a contemplative look. "Because you always want to be smiling. I know I've been here less than everyone, but you don't really ever let yourself be sad if anyone can see you." She shrugged a little. "It's just dumb insecurities. It'ss nothing important. Really."

[venofalltrades]

Ven blinked, opening his mouth to protest before slowly closing it, shifting from foot to foot again. "I um...I don't I guess I just don't like bringing everyone else down, kind of the one leading things...," trailing off his brow furrowed. "It's not dumb and it's important to me," he protested before sighing and squeezing her hand, "I mean I get if you'd rather talk to like Faye or someone else instead of me." He tried not to feel some type of way about that, she didn't owe him an explanation if she didn't want to give it.

[bcckmcskcd]

Asuka had been about to turn towards the food booths when Ven took her hand, and she looked back at him, puzzled for a moment. "What?" She felt absolutely mortified. She should have pulled herself together quicker. "Of course I'm okay," she quickly flashed him a smile, though it barely reached beyond her mouth. "I should ask if you're okay - I saw you collide with that guy earlier."

[venofalltrades]

Ven frowned slightly debating whether to let it go or not, he didn't want to sound conceited but he was use to her being smiley and bubbly around him. "Oh that? Yeah I'm fine, I'm mean you've felt me up I'm pretty sturdy and all that," feeling his cheeks flush he shook his head, "Ok, um...that was...I got nothing. Seriously though, feel like you're always trying to keep me smiling, least let me try and return the favor, yeah?"