The Host's Haven

[ventsphere]

Ha. Here again.

[ventsphere]

Not for the first time, I suspect I am better off alone.

...I'm fine on my own...

[ventsphere]

I'm really tired of feeling like the snake that was welcomed into the rodent den, then shamed and feared for being a snake, while also being told by the rodents that they don't want me to leave because "it's okay, you're a NICE snake."

[ventsphere]

I'm starting to think that my entire relationship with Chase and Tea was an absolute mistake.

I realize that outlook is fueled by my depression, but... it's hard to overlook the amount of toxic bullshit I've had to put up with. Not to mention the self-prescribed paranoia and stress from overthinking.

I'm not sure how much staying around is even a valid option at this point.

[ventsphere]

The awkward moment when one of your alts is Horny On Main. ^w^;;;

[ventsphere]

...

I didn't want to be alone or leave you (Alex) I just.. knew it was going to be a bad night - one where I self-harm through sleep deprivation and eventually end up crying till I pass out.

You have been so stressed.. you didn't need this.

[ventsphere]

1 w4nt t0 d13.

[ventsphere]

I just want today to end...

[ventsphere]

*is dead inside*

It's All Hallows' Eve... and I just feel empty inside.. I feel nothing..

[ventsphere]

Gods, I used to be a DICK. How did I have friends??

[ventsphere]

LISTEN TO ME!!!

[ventsphere]

Game Over

Things I Want to Do Right Now:

Spend literally all of my money

Break up with my datemate

Drop out of school

Move out of my apartment

Delete all contacts in my phone

Swallow a bottle of pills

[ventsphere]

I want to die.

But the Universe won't let me.

[ventsphere]

Please just let me die soon... I don't want to be here anymore.

[ventsphere]

*is extremely irritated*

[saddurdaze]

[ventsphere]

...