Venus

Unwind mainly, MILGRAM, Toronto Maple Leafs (maybe)

[sirofreak]

Unwind fandom we should have a tumblr sexyman tournament exclusively for the unwind characters

[groverunderwoodsbiggestfan]

guys i’m making like a list of unwind ships and i wanna make sure i’m not missing any so if you guys have any more please tell me !! thank you

we currently have:

HayConRisa

ConRisa

HayCon

Miracolev (Miralev?)

HayRisa

RolHay

RolCon

CamCon

CamRisa

Bam/Grace

Brooklyn/Risa

[xenomorphingout]

that one scene in undivided when risa gets excited because she realized she bagged THE akron awol

[venusdenighlo]

I didn't even post it on here originally but I dropped my first work on ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65455168/chapters/168466948

[takawoyu]

[romanceyourdemons]

first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

[romanceyourdemons]

second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all

[romanceyourdemons]

third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldn’t decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below

[romanceyourdemons]

fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy he’s fighting have really similar names and it’s finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now we’re stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?

[romanceyourdemons]

fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and i’m pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lord’s wife and leaves

[romanceyourdemons]

sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city he’s taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it

[romanceyourdemons]

seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, and he isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but i’m really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him

[romanceyourdemons]

eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night

[romanceyourdemons]

ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that i’ve suggested it he’s really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him

[romanceyourdemons]

tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lord’s city i realize i won’t be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lord’s head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lord’s camp he already would have. that doesn’t change the fact that my men are still trapped. they’re prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk

[romanceyourdemons]

eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lord’s room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. don’t ask what i was doing in my loser liege lord’s room. it’s not important

[romanceyourdemons]

twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leader’s second-in-command. IT’S THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORD’S WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says “wouldn’t you like to know” and leaves. i don’t know what to say to that so i just let him go

[romanceyourdemons]

thirteenth day as a second century warlord i’m honestly so sick of not knowing what’s going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the women’s area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lord’s wife is. i ask her what she’s doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leader’s formation’s weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poem’s significance. she shares the first couplet with me but i’m discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesn’t need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, it’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme

[romanceyourdemons]

fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesn’t trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if that’s really true, because i can’t bear to live if i can’t protect him and i can’t protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader

[romanceyourdemons]

fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and they’d like to stay with him if i don’t mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i don’t tell them that

[romanceyourdemons]

sixteenth day as a second century warlord i’m preparing to leave to i don’t know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where i’m going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me he’s truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horses’ tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why

[cuntyqueerleondraisaitl]

Oooh okay i was tagged by @baconpncakes so here are the top movies I watched for the first time in February

Tagging @venusdenighlo and literally anyone else who wants to do it

[caribbeaangal-deactivated201610]

chai tea (tea tea)

naan bread (bread bread)

sharia law (law law)

[17-leen]

sahara desert (desert desert)

[letmebecrystalqueer]

lake tahoe (lake lake)

el camino way (the way way)

pendle hill (hill hill hill)

[torukun1]

soviet union (union union)

[ulanji]

mississippi river (big river river)

the los angeles angels (the the angels angels)

[pawpels]

hula dance (dance dance) dc comics (detective comics comics)

[some-fantastic-url-name-deactiv]

shakira (shakira)

[earthshakinlove-deactivated2018]

wake me up (wake me up inside)

[pyronado-moved]

Please stop trigger tagging with #epilepsy tw/cw/warning/etc.

I need every single person to understand how horrible tumblr’s tagging system is

I go into the tag for epilepsy and its all flashing lights. We can’t use our own tag because people without epilepsy fill it up with improper warnings.

Use ‘flashing’ in place of ‘epilepsy’ in your tags. You aren’t warning people of epileptics, you’re warning us of flashing lights. Please please tag properly. Epileptics say this endlessly and constantly and it’s ignored. You are risking lives by doing this.

Here’s proof of what I mean:

THIS POST IS 100% OKAY TO REBLOG, I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE WITHOUT EPILEPSY TO ESPECIALLY DO SO!

[demonicsymphony]

And if you’re in the notes or tags telling us to “just get a new tag”

Fuck You

[the-haiku-bot]

And if you’re in the

notes or tags telling us to

“just get a new tag”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[beebmo]

[isawken]

hey man. nice regional dialect. mind if i apply some baseless assumptions about your personhood to it? i was also gonna prescribe morality to it as well. if that’s cool with you

[maristelina]

Eilko also translated it!

[no-more-dead-dogs]

i don't care if mondays fucked, tuesday wednesday kiss my nuts, thursday this shit fucking sucks, it's friday im in love

[utopians]

life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water

[utopians]

put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me

[youaremyeverlovin]

[effemimaniac]

"Uncle Benadryl's one minute rice" one minute what? awake? left to live?

[hubblegleeflower]

New Tumblr is now such that I cannot just go to the post with the recipe but must reblog the gatorade and uncle benadryl if I ever hope to make rice with coconut cream.

[la-diswavves]

There's over 9 million users on Tumblr now. Reblog if you're one of the few who's never EVER left anon hate in somebody's ask box.

[furwolf76]

If you can’t reblog this…

NEVER HAVE NEVER WILL

[manedwolfdreams]

never have, never will.

[misshvariety1307]

Definitely never have and definitely never will.

[superhologramlover]

Never once

[estellardreams]

Absolutely not. Though I have received it before :p

[blaxolt]

i don’t think i’ve done it unironically, might’ve sent some silly unserious anon hate though

[melsieee]

Been a while since I last on this app :/

[melsieee]

Been a while since I last on this app :/