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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
NASA
taylor price

blake kathryn

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RMH

Product Placement
Not today Justin

Kaledo Art
Jules of Nature

Andulka
Show & Tell
Cosmic Funnies
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ojovivo
Game of Thrones Daily
Misplaced Lens Cap

JVL
Stranger Things
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@venusianxs
Not clickbait!!
Crescent Moon, Jupiter and four of its moons.
hate it
i hate when people pry. if they were involved or if it was important i would tell them but if not stop asking. bc it's either not your place or it's irrelevant. i have reasons for telling people certain things and prying seems like a violation of trust. they should know that i would tell them if it ever concerned them or if they needed to be told. making it seem like i'm purposely withholding important information insults me.
i'm almost 20 and miserable, but at least i have people i can turn to
Similar, but make it Different. But still Similar
The creak of the wooden panel was loud, but did not disturb the ambiance of the home, especially not with Eat Bulaga showing on the TV screen. Its rays bathed the cold cement walls and flooring with multicolored light, as colorful as the pillows on the bed that’s facing it. Well, not a single bed, or even a huge bed, but rather multiple cushions pushed together to form one a-little-bit-bigger-than-King-sized bed. Surveying the home, there’s a small kitchen behind the television and a set of cement staircase that leads up to another room.
Two tiny pairs of eyes peer up at me and my partner, new, unfamiliar faces entering their humble abode. Their heads turn to the side, as do mine, mirroring their antics. Observing everything gave me flashbacks to a part of my childhood, when I used to live with my grandmother when the rest (parents and brother) moved to the province. I remember saying yes anyway, despite not fully understanding the implications of “leaving me here with lola for a while,” and by a while they mean until I finish the first grade. So I spent my time going to school via school bus and having class in the morning, and in the afternoon I played with the other kids outside. I never really realized our financial status until later in life when I started to become more aware of social structures and hierarchies.
My mother’s side never had a lot of money, only enough for them to live a simple life. I never associated extravagance or luxury to that side of my family, which is pretty dichotomous to my dad’s side of the family. I made this connection when I compared the living conditions of my grandparents on both sides. Due to this, I’ve been aware of two different kinds of living situations and I was never blinded to the fact that some are less fortunate than others. This became increasingly apparent to me the more my family’s living conditions improved as the years went by, and the more I started asking for stuff I wanted, and when I got my first iPhone and started comparing everyone to myself like the insecure teenager that I became to be.
Walking slowly to put my bags down, I try to start interaction with the children. Their gazes linger on my face whenever I try to initiate contact, apprehensive with my presence. All the while the sound of laughter can be heard in the background, and in my mind I thought to myself that I want to try and get close to these children and make the most out of my stay here. I can also hear the soft chatter of my partner talking to the woman of the foster family we were assigned to, one ear listening in and the other paying attention to the two children. They were starting to warm up to me despite being uneasy with me at first.
Going to GK Central, and to the home assigned to me did not only bring me feelings of familiarity, but also foreign ones. The sense of community I got from hearing their story reminded me of my community back in Bayanan, the town my lola lives and where I lived for a while as well. The way the houses are constructed also invoked familiar feelings too. However, this was still a totally new experience to me. Meeting and spending time the woman that accommodated us into our home was a whole experience in and of itself. She’s a quiet woman, she wouldn’t really say anything unless we asked or talked to her. Her reception was warm and I certainly believe she’s more of an action-based person. Watching her navigate through her day and talking to her about her life is something that stuck with me, for the mundanity of it all made me see even more clearly that these people are just trying to get by life like everyone else, only with different circumstances.
Bonding with the children took most of my energy, but it’s very fulfilling. Now my partner and I are helping them set up a small booth outside that sells kwek-kwek and buko pandan. It was scorchingly hot, yet the children continued to play around. Their dynamic reminds me of me and my brother, whenever the older sister would push around the younger brother. Ate Josie and her daughters laughed and told us that she always pinches and terrorizes her brother but the young boy fights back. I laugh with them because that sounds exactly like me and my brother from when we were younger.
Looking back, no matter how similar my experience in GK Central may be to parts of my life and how I was raised, there’s no denying that they’re still completely different from one another. Unlike them, I don’t live with my lola anymore. I live inside a fairly large house, and sleep in my own bed. I don’t set up shop in my village to sell kwek-kwek, and I hardly know anyone in my village either. It’s similar to some aspects of my life but both me and Ate Josie know that we’re different and we have different experiences as people. Hell, we’re probably walking towards different directions as we speak, with different goals and aspirations in our hearts.
And even so, I can still relate with her and her children. Even if I don’t fully understand them and their struggles, I can empathize and listen.
With the recent conclusion to the elections, I can’t help but think back to those living in the community. With the people in the senate right now, the laws that they will pass will certainly affect them more than me. Because I do admit that I’m up on a hill. But that doesn’t mean I can just stay up here. Even if Ate Josie and her family and I are inherently different, I’m sure that we all want the best for everyone in this country. That I can say with complete certainty, and with this experience, it makes me want to fight for the right thing even more.
Standing under an umbrella as Ate Josie fries the kwek-kwek, her daughters mixing the batter and her grandchildren trying to push each other on the ground, fills me with a sense of tranquility. I don’t know if it’s just uncharacteristically quiet in the city right now or the great placement of the community, but seeing them live out their day like this is nostalgic and fills me with a sense of purpose. I was apprehensive at the BINHI program at first, but I’m happy I have this memory to take home with me because of it.
I want to work towards my dream with this memory and these people I’ve met in mind, and hopefully new ones in the future to fuel me to make this country better, especially with what has happened to communities like theirs and what might happen in the years to come.
Because I’m not only working towards my dream for myself, but for others as well.
Lara Croft vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda
I had my sexual awakening when I was 17.
It's kind of weird actually, people usually know ever since or fall in love with someone, but not for me.
It was a normal day after class and my friends and I were going around the mall (having our school right beside it, we made it a habit to go around right after class).
Now we were going around until we came across the cinema area to check out the upcoming movies. Along with a variety of other movies, was a large cardboard poster thing of the new Tomb Raider movie, starring Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft. I was staring at it, at her for a while, when a tremor went through me. A feeling of fear, and some thoughts crossed my mind with this feeling, along the lines of being scared that other people will look at me differently. I don't really mind if I'm kindnof different from others, but it unsettles me that others might not see me for me, but hyperfocus on the 'flaws' they perceive.
So I internally freaked out and consulted with my openly bisexual friend the next day. She helped me arrange my thoughts and also helped me come to terms with what I just experienced. She told me that I didn't have to label myself just yet if I didn't want to, but a week later I started identifying as bisexual.
It didn't take me long to accept this part of myself, because even before this I was never sure if I were fully straight or not. I just never had an experience prior to that to confirm if I was. During my reflection, I thought back to all those times I exhibited "not normal" behavior for exclusively straight people and it explained a lot and made a lot of sense.
I still haven't come out to my parents. I'm still terrified of telling them, I'm already pretty weird in their eyes and I don't know if I want to add to that. I have come out to my friends though. It was really nervewracking. I knew that they would be okay with it, but it was still scary nonetheless. When I recently read "Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda" and read the part where Simon came out to one of his friends as gay, I related to hsi feelings of fear a lot. It made me feel happy, actually, that it's not an unfounded or uncommon feeling when coming out to one's friends.
So now I'm a happy bisexual that has both crushes of a variety of genders. It hasn't all been sunshine and rainbows, some relationships have been affected because they couldn't accept that I am the way I am. However, I'm happy I can finally be myself and express it the way I want. I've always put a lot of importance in understanding my feelings for I have almost never been self aware of these. So realizing this was extremely important to me.
via weheartit
idk why i do this
i already don't let many people in yet people still end up hurting me.
idk if it's bc i'm not the important friend to keep maybe that's why i take the fall. is it easier for them not to think about how i would feel and how this would affect me? bc frankly i don't think those who are included in this problem give a fuck or refuse to see that this is hurting me when i didn't even do anything wrong.
TL;DR: i am a mess inside and out thx for coming to my ted talk