Weekly Program of A Socially Anxious Theatre Student

[veryemoandawkward]

November 3, 2025

Well, I f#cked up again.

I told a friend that the amount of texting he was doing with me was overwhelming. That was the word I used. And it didn't go over well. I could have waited until after his current life crisis to say this. But I didn't. And now we are back to not talking again. Which is what I wanted, less texting. But it didn't need to go from all day to nothing. I just needed him not to get angry at me for not texting back.

He's also my coworker, which sucks. He's supposed to work for me this week because I had my wisdom teeth removed this morning.

I texted him Thank you. In which he replied that he needs the money now more than ever. He's going through family issues and needs money, and now I'm considering leaving my job so he can have full-time hours. We work in the same position, but on different shifts...

I might as well by this point.

Not going to make any decisions now...

I didn't take my meds today. I couldn't after the surgery...

Um, well, okay, I really hate myself.

-p

[soupergravy-deactivated20210305]

An announcement: Lowly Worm

This is the only true Blessed Post on this website. 

[cosmonautroger]

Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, Steven Spielberg, 1977

[anxietyproblem]

[thenatsdorf]

Ekekekekekekek (via)

[i-hate-yuo]

Why am I so sad? I was doing so good. Now I just feel like collapsing in a pile of my own tears, but also disappearing for awhile.

[menhe-rafflesia]

[studentlifeproblems]

[tomii-memo]

1/14  植物観察

[current-mcr-news]

instagram story by altpress

[niightmareofyou]

I’m Thinking of Ending Things (2020)

Dir. Charlie Kaufman

[rainydayreadingblr]

Bonedog

Coming home is terrible

Whether the dogs lick your face or not

Whether you have a wife or just a wife shaped loneliness waiting for you

Coming home is terribly lonely

So that you think of the oppressive barometric pressure back where you have just come from with fondness

Because everything is worse once you are home

You think of the vermin clinging to the grass stalks

Long hours on the road… roadside assistance and ice creams

And the peculiar shapes of certain clouds and silences with longing because you didn’t want to return

Coming home is just awful 

and the home style silences and clouds contribute to nothing but the general malaise 

clouds such as they are are in fact suspect and made from a different material than those you left behind

You yourself were cut from a different cloudy cloth returned Remaindered

Ill met by moonlight

Unhappy to be back

Slack in all the wrong spots

Seamy suit of clothes

Dishrag ratty worn

You return home

Moon landed Foreign

The earth’s gravitational pull an effort now re doubled dragging your shoelaces loose

And your shoulders etching deeper the stanza of worry on your forehead

You return home deepened

A parched well linked to tomorrow by a frail stand of “Anyway”

You sigh into the onslaught of identical days

One might as well, at a time

Well anyway

You are back

The sun goes up and down like a tired whore

The weather immobile like a broken limb

While you just keep getting older

Nothing moves but the shifting tides of salt in your body

Your vision blears

You carry your weather with you

The big, blue whale 

A skeletal darkness 

You came back with x ray vision

Your eyes have become a hunger

You come home with you mutant gifts to a house of bone

Everything you see now, all of it Bone

-From the movie I’m Thinking of Ending Things, based on the book by Iain Reid. Officially an unpublished poem by Eva H.D

[lovegorelovep]

Learn!

Fucking learn how to get them deeper!

Learn how to steal!

Learn how to lie!

Learn how to dismantle shaving razors!

Learn which direction to go!

Learn how to cut deeper!

You’re nothing without deep cuts.

- 2015.

[winterfellis]

[veryemoandawkward]

Everyone hates me. Everyone hates me. Everyone hates me. Everyone hates me. I hate me. I hate me. I hate me. 

[softdaisie]

self harm alternatives

• paint

• draw

• scribble

• cry

• shower

• dance

• run

• sleep

• read

• exercise vigorously; run, dance, jump rope or hit a punching bag.

• journal to express your feelings

• write down negative feelings in a paper and then rip it up

• make some noise (play an instrument)

• draw/write on your skin

• reorganize your room

• rant to a friend

• squeeze an ice cube

• scream as loud as you can

• youtube funny videos

• use the app “calm harm”

• write a positive letter to yourself

• rip up something ie. magazine

• make a recovery playlist

• compose a poem

• squeeze a stress ball

• wrap yourself in a warm blanket

[throttledneck]

Thirteen Reasons Why Romanticizing Suicide

It didn’t.

Romeo and Juliet romanticized suicide.

Thirteen Reasons Why showed how graphic and horrifying suicide really is.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE; tell me where you get the idea that it glorified it.

*spoiler*

HOW WAS THE SCENE WHEN HANNAH BAKERS MOM CAME INTO THE BATHROOM TO FIND HER DAUGHTER LYING IN THE TUB BLED OUT TO DEATH GLORIFIED. how in any way is that romanticized or glorified. that is truth, that is how horrifying suicide is. it’s not beautiful, it’s not romantic. it’s devastating.

Maybe it just me , but I don’t find any of that romantic. 🤷🏼‍♀️