v e l l e i t y

hamartia: yonderly heart, paracosmic mind

[vetaire-blog]

And for you I'm just a shrine For all your heartbreaks. You talk to me endlessly about her And her and her and her. You ask me if you can be fixed And I tell you the truth, "You cannot be fixed, darling, But you can be loved." And I bite into my tongue "I love you"

[vetaire-blog]

go on, stand in front of the cracked mirror, dig your nails into the stained ceramic sink. what do you see, what do you think? do you still recognize yourself anymore, having become a travesty of the faces that you hid behind too many times?

go on, tell me, what is it that moves you? is it when your lover caresses your face, whispering against your skin, gentle, carnal words of validation, her words putting a void in your void. or is it when your best friend bemoans, over one too many drinks, his fear of being alone?

go on, tell me, what is it that breaks you? is it the sonic boom of your father's belt, leather against flesh, the iron scent drowning out all the world's sounds, swallowing your screams with it. or is it when love fades to oblivion, her smile twisting into apologies, and a final goodbye.

go, who is it you're waiting for? is it the one who left you in shambles in the wake of her self destruction. or maybe, only by a small chance is it the one who sees the stars in your eyes, the sun in your smile. maybe, it's one who'll stay. just maybe, i'll stay.

- kriti r.

[shrimplydelicious]

“I’m finally going to write! I have a great idea!”

[inkskinned]

hey i’m super late to the party but ur friendly internet poet here to Stop This Madness before you Become The Madness. 

i kind of think of the blank page of ms word as like. when you walk through a doorway into a room and are like “wtf was i even doing.” for some reason our brain sees blank and then draws a blank. and ur like. i was actually really excited about that 45 seconds ago?? come back idea we can still be friends!!

so how do you. not do that? here are some tips that i just PERSONALLY LEARNED and aren’t like. purdue university. 

THE IMMEDIATE BEFORE:

don’t you dare even look at tumblr or any other site tbh just get out asap

if you have trouble detaching from reality, have an emergency Music Bin of classical music/instrumental/video game music saved on ur computer. Not the internet. not the internet. bc you type “youtube” in the url bar, goodbye cruel world. 3 AM and you’re watching compilations of cats talking. just have it saved somewhere on ur library and hit play. block out the noise of the Rest of the World.

the sound of rain/mood/white noise helps, there’s a bunch of sites for that, but tbh just download rain sounds from youtube when you’re bored one day so you don’t get lost in one of those ~calming masterposts~

if something is Immediately Pressing, try to “write” internally and do the thing at the same time - i can’t tell you how many good ideas i’ve had while making myself a sandwich. being away from the blank page and handling my hunger help.

don’t wait. write it now. NOW. now. not “after scrolling another second” no now , right now. i have left bed at 2 AM to write. you gotta #commit bc the truth is if you don’t, you have the worst anticlimax when your brain lets you down. it gave you a gift and you said you’d open it later and now it’s mad at you. don’t do that. just open the gift.

don’t fear. if it comes out bad it’s still OUT. writers live in the Void Of Self-Doubt, where sometimes we’re like “how can i do this idea justice?” and we get so tangled in being good enough for it that we never do it. who cares if you accidentally write like 3 sentences where u meant to write 16 pages. it just means that you’re concise as hell my guy. it’s always easier to build from something than nothing.

fuck everything else. if your brain is like “!!!!!!!!!!!” like mine is (24-7 my guy) it’s hard to “turn it off” how do you write when everything is crowded up there? my solution is to turn the writing up. turn up your imagination so loud it shouts down everything else. you can’t make inspiration but when you start thinking, those cogs get turning. and everything else drowns out. THE SCARY SCARY DURING:

fuck ms word. it’s so blank!!! tbh a lot of my writing gets started ANYWHERE ELSE, bc i can’t look at a blank page without getting Writer Sweats. start it at the bottom of your english essay. type it in a tumblr text box so it’s lowkey and not official. i have a saved document of just like … half-stories or story ideas and bc they’re not Official, they can be weird and painless and quick.

you gotta write bad stuff before you learn to write good stuff so who cares if it’s not poe like it’s yours just keep writing even if it doesn’t “measure up” to what you want it to exactly look like.

don’t start at the beginning, fuck the beginning. your brain started with the idea halfway, right? so you start there too. sometimes i just pick up in the middle of a sentence - “and it was good enough, at last.” who cares what happens before that, my idea starts there, so i’m gonna start there! 

on that note, trust your readers. half the time i just decide - u know what, i see this world like this, and you can catch up as i go. a writer when you sit there and have to explain “in this world mice are hording your secrets and They Know,” great, now you’ve written the whole story in one sentence. just write it and let ppl figure it out. don’t waste the inspiration trying to explain the rules behind your floating city. write the city and run in it while you have the energy. 

parts missing? like you just really have a setting there but wtf is the plot gonna be? or holy shit a character with bazookas for hands!! handgun guy!!! but like in what world — yeah it happens to all of us. the thing is, instead of being like “this is nothing,” remind yourself you have so much to explore because you just fucking invented something. even if you write fanfic and the world is already there and stuff like that - dang son explore everything. is there dust in the house is he allergic to cats what’s it like in the forest are there many dogs? does he like being kissed upside down how’s that desk they keep doing it on and what has it seen poor thing. and when you start that, you realize - wait! that’s the story! the desk breaks or family shows up and asks to buy it (why won’t u just sell it, laura dear, u hardly do any real work at it) - that’s where it’s all hiding. think of ur brain as giving you the whole idea every time - it’s just up to you to look. 

don’t edit fuck editing you’ll get around to it eventually

“oh i changed a rule i should go back” no don’t you’ll get to it eventually, just keep writing

“does this sound natural?” who cares just write

fuck it sometimes i literally will change what i’m saying in the middle of a sentence but instead of deleting i just keep it up because then i’m not starting back at the top 

grammar is a silly silly myth and you can break it with your big strong lobster claws and i even hope you do break it

meaning if you’re like me and sometimes don’t write in Caps or you start going forwards in Txt speech it literally doesn’t matter just go, heck, once i was in the flow and instead of writing a response for something i just had a character say “>:I” and it worked.

if none of the above is even helping not at all: DON’T CLOSE IT. SIT . BE GOOD.  SIIIITTTTT…. SIT. stare at it. stare it down. when u give up too fast the idea is like “fine. i wasn’t good enough to fight for? bye.” i would say that the average “stare-down” time i’d give an idea before giving up on it is 15 minutes. not 15 “changing the tab to be on fb” minutes. 15 don’t you dare look at anything else minutes. bc chances are? minute 5 your brain will become Bored - and it will open up bc it’s like “fine fuck you if this is all we’re gonna focus on let’s go.” THE GRUESOME AFTERMATH:

go get water and pat yourself on the back kid

even if it went badly do that bc writing is hard and you tried your best 

[anonymousintp]

How to tell if an INTP no longer wants to be your friend

They tend to just fade out of your life. There won’t be a huge argument or an official “we’re through” from an INTP, unless you were once close and seriously breached their trust.

If it’s not very serious and they just find you annoying or stupid, or can’t connect with you mentally, they’d just disappear from your life. They won’t initiate conversations or return your calls or messages. They might hang out with you if you’re in their group of friends, but never one on one. They might talk to you politely if you run into each other, but nothing beyond that. You’ll be able to feel the distance.

I’m sure this is not INTP-specific since I’m describing behaviors…. but it’s what I know of INTPs :/

-eilamona[ MBTI Merch | Support eilamona on patreon ]

[anonymousintp]

How to tell if an INTP no longer wants to be your friend

They tend to just fade out of your life. There won’t be a huge argument or an official “we’re through” from an INTP, unless you were once close and seriously breached their trust.

If it’s not very serious and they just find you annoying or stupid, or can’t connect with you mentally, they’d just disappear from your life. They won’t initiate conversations or return your calls or messages. They might hang out with you if you’re in their group of friends, but never one on one. They might talk to you politely if you run into each other, but nothing beyond that. You’ll be able to feel the distance.

I’m sure this is not INTP-specific since I’m describing behaviors…. but it’s what I know of INTPs :/

-eilamona[ MBTI Merch | Support eilamona on patreon ]

[insignifiqantly]

I gave you My all & I’m sorry That you could Take Everything I gave to you Everything I had & you were still So empty That you had Nothing Left to love me with

On Loving An Eggshell, k.l.j. (via insignifiqantly)

[murderbeginsintheheart]

Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worse, returned. But one thing that puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.

Sigmund Freud (via murderbeginsintheheart)

[another-beautiful-disaster]

“I broke my own heart.” She whispered. “Why? You know it was his fault. He led you on.” “No, he didn’t.I expected too much from him. I knew he couldn’t meet those expectations but I hoped anyway. I knew from the start I had no chance, but I kept going. I knew that if I kept talking to him, I’d fall harder. From the day I meet him, I knew he was the one for me so I gave it shot. Turns out, I only got my own heart broken. None of these was his fault. It was all mine.But loving him wasn’t my biggest mistake, hoping he’d love me back was.”

If only I listened, If only I never hoped. // 7pm thoughts (via another-beautiful-disaster)

[novaimplosion]

❝ Shine bright like a diamond ❞ ↪ ✿

[novaimplosion]

❝ This love is glowing in the dark ❞ ↪ ✿

[novaimplosion]

❝ Don’t belong to no city, don’t belong to no man ❞ ↪ ✿

[the-anomalous-infj]

Aesthetic #8: INTP Female

green and orange color scheme

Requested by @m1sosazai

If you want an aesthetic, go to my blog and read the requirements 

[drxgonfly]

Azul (by João Cardoso)

[drxgonfly]

Azul (by João Cardoso)

[mypsychology]

[mattmcguigan]

an important lesson about making mistakes:

you can still get a cookie

[anti-terf-deactivated20170715]

How does a robot eat a cookie?

[mattmcguigan]

I think you misunderstand mailbot’s intentions

[vaguelyethereal]

THIS IS SO CUTE

[acetheticallyspeaking]

Having touch aversion that fluctuates is really hard. Like, I’ll be platonically cuddling one moment, and all is well with the world, and the next I feel like I’m suffocating, I feel violated, I just want  o u t   o f   t h e r e   i m m e d i a t e l y

How do you explain that to a friend.