Hate to see a transmasc egg thinking he needs permission to be a boy. If you want to be a boy, just do it. “But what if I don’t experience enough dysphoria?” Doesn’t matter. I didn’t ask if being a girl makes you miserable, I asked if being a boy makes you happy.
You don’t need an endless list of reasons to transition, you can transition just because you want to. You can transition just to have a deeper voice, just to have facial hair, just to use a different name, just to kiss boys in a gay way. It literally doesn’t matter. Do what makes you happy and fuck all the rest or whatever that gay little twink said in little miss sunshine.
I know the feeling, I was blessed with an hourglass figure and voluptuous hips that make everything else pale in comparison. While no, you can't change your pelvic bone structure, you definitely can offset it and kick that dysphoria in the ass by other means, especially in regards to working out. I'll include tips you may have heard, but in more detail, cover some misconceptions, and some deconstruction of workout myths and gender stereotypes that I hadn't really heard before I started looking into it.
I won't be providing an exhaustive list of exercises, just some deconstruction of body image and proportions that I've gone through trying to figure out how to build a kind of physique that makes me feel comfortable and strong. You can go look up exercises yourself, build a routine that you just like doing since I can't build a perfect routine for you--and I'm not a fitness coach either, just a guy who likes working out. If you don't have equipment, you don't need equipment! Look up bodyweight exercises, you can still build muscle with no equipment or money!
I'll also be showing photos along the way, but don't take them as some kind of standard to attain. Find your own goals for yourself. These are just photo examples of either what I'm talking about, or showing that cis men can also have things that a lot of trans men find dysphoric. These photos are just from pinterest and will be linked to the source pin, but I can take them down if requested.
Tip #1: Your Core
This is what will give you the illusion of a bigger and more squared off core and will de-accentuate hips by comparison.
Train your obliques and your side core especially, these are the muscles that are beside your abs and above the side of your hips, and they are built with rotation of the core or bending sideways. They'll help make the area above the hips more bulky and defined, giving a bit of a more square shape.
Keep in mind, ab muscles are often genetically predispositioned, and AFAB people often have a lot more body fat in their cores just naturally, so don't hinge your goals and expectations of having a solid core solely on abs. You can have a solid core without defined abs, don't just focus on abs alone; they're part of a greater whole.
Pictured below: hey this guy has hips, SO CAN YOU.
Tip #2: Your Back
Okay, how is training your back going to give you a more square-looking silhouette? The answer lies in your lats and lower back--and shoulders, but everyone's heard before that having big shoulders will balance out the lower body. Your lats are on the sides of your back, and are trained with pulling motions, such as dumbbell rows or pullups. Pulling motions can be a lot harder to train bodyweight wise, but there are still things out there, such as door rows or finding random weights like heavy textbooks to row with.
Having defined lats will also give your core and overall depth of your ribcage more of a blocky shape, and your lower back will help to . They will also support a lot of the ab work, as well as your posture and your shoulders for less injury and better posture. It's very important for the previous tip that you also work your back muscles so that you don't strain yourself by being imbalanced in your core.
Pictured below: The lats are the muscles running over the lower half of the ribcage, to where they meet with the obliques. They help to smooth down the curves of the waist, because cis men can have relatively small waists, and will also create depth to the back and chest.
Tip #3: Your Legs & Glutes
Most people think 'ahh but won't training my legs make my hips look bigger' and everything? No it won't! Never underestimate the power of a bigass quad that could outkick a horse. Having well-defined quads and hamstrings will bulk up your legs and straighten out your lower silhouette. Plus, having defined glutes will make hips look more proportionate by comparison and smooth them out by adding muscle on top of the pelvic bones.
Don't believe me? Look at this example photo for just how masculine some bigass legs can look in proportion to the hips, even with a very small waist. Don't let anyone fool you into saying that big powerful legs and glutes are only feminine traits and can't be masculine.
Tip #4: Your Hips
Yes, you should train your hips, but no it won't make them bigger, I promise. I thought that too, but it's important to have strong hips for providing stability in coordination between your upper body and lower body, as well as be the source of a lot of lower body power and the prevention of a lot of lower back pain.
This will often be part of glute and leg focused workouts, but it will help overall. Having strong hips prevents the highs from rotating inward and causing the knees to buckle and touch together when lifting things or walking. Don't let anyone tell you that strong hips aren't masculine, whether they protrude a lot or have dips or not. Hint: men can have hip dips too, it's not a gender-specific thing. Plus it's hot, fight me on that.
Summary: Accept Yourself
Yes you may be far from where you wish you were, but don't just focus on the aesthetic results. They don't come immediately, and if you give up because you're not getting the results you want, then you'll never get them. Even though I've talked a lot about how to get certain aesthetic results, focus as much as you can on stabilizing your body and balancing it so that it can perform better and become stronger without injury.
I'll say it loudly: FIND YOUR WAY TO FEEL MASCULINE BY DOING WORKOUTS, NOT JUST RESULTS. Nothing to me feels better than destroying a leg or back workout and feeling my body adjust to what I'm asking it to do. It's an act of devotion to yourself, showing your body that it can achieve things that it couldn't last month or even last week.
Something that helps me when I have dysphoria is finding examples of men with the thing that I'm dysphoric about. Hip dips, big thighs, nearly anything. And it still looks masculine as hell. Some things you can't change about your body, but you can find the positives in it and work with it to make it one of your strengths as well.
Bonus Tip: Be Self-Indulgent
I hated my hourglass figure and hips, but now I'm learning to love it and frame it as a nice masculine waist with solid powerful bone structure, even before I could see any form of results coming through. Even though working out is about building yourself up, try to also build yourself up mentally too.
Be silly, be self-indulgent. Go on, call your hourglass figure your slutty little man waist, call your hip-dips your v-taper, pat yourself on the back for your big wings (lats). You can steal obnoxious gym guy terms and make them your own. Nobody's stopping you! Obnoxiously affirm yourself, do it whatever your body shape is right now. Reframe things in a way that makes you feel good, don't let anyone stop you from being the masc of your dreams today.
Fighting toxic masculinity! Being gentle and kind and yet still not taking people's shit, standing up for other people, being a safe space for people going through bullying. Being self-aware, being authentic, being healthily confident and encouraging others to do the same!
Grraaaaahhhhhh give me your favorite positive masculinity examples
trans men and transmascs do need to hear they aren't hurting anyone for being masculine, but more than that they need to hear that they are loved for being masculine. your masculinity is wonderful and magical and you pull it off incredibly well. your masculinity is cool, it's desirable, it's attractive. there are people out there who will be drawn to you because of your masculinity, not just in spite of it. you deserve more than just to be tolerated in queer spaces. your masculinity deserves to be celebrated
