vikingofficial is dead long live vikingofficial

[Zeke] Novelist. Dog whisperer. Shitpost enthusiast. [I don't engage kindly to racists, bigots, fascists, zionists (jewish extremists), or pedants. Fuck AI.]

[vikingofficial]

Are some of my takes bad? Absolutely. Do I care? Sometimes. But do I make up for it with a thicc juicy ass? No

[margaery-tyrell]

did anyone ever tell the Backstreet Boys why

[mosspunk-deactivated20230821]

some of you are abusing the power of kungpowpenis

[garnetrena]

K

[mosspunk-deactivated20230821]

yeah okay steven universe blog

[le-dreadmau5]

[the-quasar-hero]

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

[schakira]

okay... i can still see the folds on your wizard robe... iron it.

[the-quasar-hero]

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

[schakira]

no cause it's really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn't being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

[the-quasar-hero]

I just think it’s funny you think anything that isn’t dusted and busted like your grimoire is somehow less authentic, when the reality is you a broke ass wizard who can’t get your coin up! You gotta use hand-me-downs cuz no king wants to make use of your services! Maybe you should dress like this isn’t the third century and ppl would visit your sad lil’ wizard tower. Your grimoire so old I bet that shit got spells to deal with dinosaurs. I got a spell in mine to make wifi anywhere. Oh, and I know you ain’t talking about staffs when you carry around that plywood looking ass shit. You tryna conjure forth a Home Depot employee?

[schakira]

you scroll-stuffing spell stealing nasty little SLUT

[the-quasar-hero]

Nuh-uh, bitch, try again.

[entguarde]

And I’m supposed to listen to you two when you both wear TRAFFIC CONE HATS?? Hate to tell you this buds, but I do think that the plastic hat kinda matches y’all’s plastic fashion taste and y’all’s plastic ass spells.

Yours truly, the wizard frog

[the-quasar-hero]

I know yo ass is just salty cuz a witch turned you into a frog and you can’t figure out how to turn back. Go eat some flies and stay on your lil’ lillypad, ok? Grown wizards are talking.

[entguarde]

Very well, then! I shall sit here and contemplate the disaster that is your wardrobe. Have fun with the moths on your coats, by the way!

[the-quasar-hero]

Those moths are for you, figured you use some friends or maybe just lunch <{:) (that’s my Gucci wizard hat)

[were--ralph]

god i fucking love fat men and all of their fat

[were--ralph]

if you're fat thank you for existing and making the world a much sexier place regardless of gender

[were--ralph]

ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR FAT PEOPLE

[the-quasar-hero]

Thought about Meg Thee Stallion cosplaying Vexxin and I nearly fainted

[the-quasar-hero]

+

[vikingofficial]

#do y'all see the vision

[shih-na]

my ice cream. dude.

Characters are by @thoughtsroamguy

[probuccalfat]

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

[probuccalfat]

personal agenda. Personal.

[argentcochon]

[probuccalfat]

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.

[afterword]

[biglawbear]

This is really funny on dark mode

[transfeminine-anarcho-post-egg]

On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.

[dottedpetal]

me w all your selfship, vent and daily posts <3

[aaaaaarchive]

[vieneinpace]

William Etty's Male Nude, with Arms Up-Stretched (1828) revamped by Astra Zero

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[tlirsgender]

Many jokes about packers flopping out and bouncing away and such but I still wasn't prepared for how genuinely disconcerting it is for a second when your brain has accepted this as Part Of Your Body & your thang fell off. My pebis

[tlirsgender]

Every time I pull my pants down to go to the bathroom and watch My Penis go with them I have to like. Recalibrate

[fratboycipher]

(via @lunnefisk)

[vikingofficial]

I don't have enough money for urgent care ($14 to my name right now). Should I go to the hospital or is that going to be a waste of my time?

I can't eat, I'm nauseous, dizzy, and my joints all hurt pretty bad.

Anybody have any idea what's wrong with me and what to do

[vikingofficial]

Update I'm in the ER

[vikingofficial]

I don't have enough money for urgent care ($14 to my name right now). Should I go to the hospital or is that going to be a waste of my time?

I can't eat, I'm nauseous, dizzy, and my joints all hurt pretty bad.

Anybody have any idea what's wrong with me and what to do

[the-quasar-hero]

Here on the self proclaimed ‘monsterfucker’ website and I can’t help but notice there are several non-human characters in Tears of Xivo and yet no one has described the things they wish to enact with them that would make a priest burst into flames and give Sigmund Freud 18 consecutive heart attacks.

[vikingofficial]

That's cuz the ToX monsters I'm into are fem and i respect women too much to talk about how imma grip their wings like fukkin horse reins

[the-quasar-hero]

What about him?

[vikingofficial]

AYY WHAT THOSE LIMBS DO?? 😤 WHEN I'M DONE WITH HIM IMMA NEED A WHEELCHAIR 😩

[the-quasar-hero]

They mostly kill, maim, and murder, so a wheelchair was never in doubt

[vikingofficial]

You already made the sale you don't need to keep making it better😩😩

[asingularcanadian]

I touchs it wit my hamds

[asingularcanadian]