A terrible beauty is born

Seb. 35, gay, white, Episcopalian, anarcho-communist, vegan. This isn't my main, but it's where I put everything that isn't wrestling. Pronouns: he/him, but it/its is OK if you're not cis. Follows from namajague (main/wrestling blog).

[vincentvangodot]

Help Seb Get Top Surgery

Hi! I'm Seb (or you may know me as Mitch, either is fine) and I'm 33 years old. I've been living as the man I am since ...

Hi! I'm Seb (or you may know me as Mitch, either is fine) and I'm 33 years old. I've been living as the man I am since I was seventeen, so that's sixteen years now. Wow, almost half my life. For pretty much that entire time, I've been trying to save for top surgery, and have just never managed to make it work. One emergency expense after another has eaten away at my attempted savings. Finally, I'm turning to you!

Though I finally have health insurance, the only surgeon in town who accepts the insurance requires a BMI that would, without giving details, be both impossible and unhealthy for me to achieve. (I'm a fat guy, I always have been, I make no excuses or apologies for it. No need to donate or ever speak to me if that offends your sensibilities.) I deserve this affirming surgery that will enable me to live more confidently, even though I'm fat, and my primary care physician agrees. Unfortunately, going to a different surgeon does mean it's highly likely that I'll have to pay for this whole procedure out of pocket.

I've set the goal a bit higher than the average cost of a double incision bilateral mastectomy, because even if I'm able to pay for and get surgery, I'll be out of work for approximately two months afterwards due to the inherent physical restrictions of having had my whole chest reconstructed. Just getting enough to cover the surgery would be great, above and beyond what I'm expecting, but anything more than that will go to helping me stay housed and fed during that recovery period.

Thank you so much for reading this, for anything you can give, for sharing if you can't give.

[leonardcohenofficial]

bertolt brecht, "a bed for the night"

[vincentvangodot]

I just found out one of my friends from middle school on whom I had a massive crush is a queer author now, and this means nothing to my current life because I haven't spoken to him since college but I'm still happy for him. I was definitely annoying and confusing in middle/high school by being a "girl" with a crush on a boy I was lowkey sure was gay, and periodically trying to convince him of something he may not even have known was true at the time. He and I both had things we didn't acknowledge about ourselves back then, and I would have reacted with the exact same defensive confusion if someone had told me I was a boy. So, even though I'm never gonna interact with him again, I'm happy to have found this news, and I'll keep an eye out for his upcoming book.

(However, I'm very grateful no one I knew in middle school can find me by searching up my old name. This sort of discovery is a strange function of the modern era and maybe shouldn't be possible.)

[vincentvangodot]

I am in... such a weird place, emotionally, right now. Like obviously it's a depressive state, that's easy to recognize, but the manifestation is novel. A year or two ago I got to the point where I genuinely don't want to die, and now I don't even joke about it, suicide is completely gone from my mind. I wasn't sure this was possible, but it turns out it is, and I want it for everyone. BUT. What that means is that I now have to deal with the very definitely true fact that I am going to die shortly after my parents do, which - G-d forbid - may be sooner than I think. And I don't want to. I want to stay alive but I'm not equipped to do so and now I have to deal with that when I'm in depressive states. This is not easier. It's progress but it's just as hard. And yeah I'm hormonal right now and it's making the bad mood worse, but that's not gonna change because trans healthcare is broken and I was off T for a couple years even before All This because pharmacies kept refusing to fill my prescriptions properly and now I don't even have insurance, so THAT part can't be fixed. So I just gotta think about it. All the time. And I would simply rather stay in denial.

[vincentvangodot]

While I'm working on building a website, and trying to keep from working on it to the exclusion of the project I'm building it for, here's just a little Arthuriana update. I've finished the Vulgate Cycle, so I'm now on the Post-Vulgate. This means I'm immediately seeing changes in the mythos, such as Mordred's conception and the provenance of Excalibur (apparently in the Post-Vulgate, the sword Merlin put in the anvil wasn't worth shit, so he had to take Arthur to a lake for a new one after it snapped). I'm trying to finish the Post-Vulgate within a month, so that I'll have read the whole Cycle in a year, which is why it's IMPERATIVE that I not get sidetracked with CSS. So this is just to get that out of my system so I can go back to reading.

[vincentvangodot]

Update: Redux

Oh lmao I didn't realize my queue here ran out a month ago. OK! This is a reminder of my previous decision, then: this is no longer a Content Account, this is now an account where I will occasionally Actually Blog, and all my reblogs are on @namajague now. Feel free to follow that one!

If you keep following this account and I don't know you at all, I'm probably going to softblock you. Please don't take offense, it's just that I don't love people I don't know seeing my personal musings. Wish you all the best.

[johnwatersvhs]

obsessed with john waters parents, they were funnier than him!

[johnwatersvhs]

lmao

[johnwatersvhs]

mrs waters you will always be famous (to me)

[johnwatersvhs]

[happyheidi]

Van Gogh details

[caustic-light]

Just to make this very, very clear. Every act of referring to any form of sexuality as degenerate is nazi rhetoric. Not like “oh crypto fash dogwhistle”, no I mean actual NSDAP politics that were used to put us in concentration camps.

It doesn’t matter if you mean only kinksters or whatever. You are still using their rhetoric and to do so while claiming to advocate for us is at best severely misguided, at worst actively vile.

Do not, under any circumstance, spread the use of ideas to describe sexuality that have been coined to eradicate us.

Do not normalize the way nazis referred to us, just by picking another target. You are still empowering the people who want to put us against the wall.

[penrosesun]

To clarify this for people who just don’t get it: degenerate does not just mean “gross”. It means “showing decline from a higher civilization”. Ask yourself – really ask yourself - what the fuck that could possibly mean in the context of sexuality.

Do you really think that two people doing cringey roleplay are a part of a broader trend that is undermining Western civilization? Do you really want to associate with people who do?

More to the point, do you really want to feed into the rhetoric that the main threat we’re facing is “the decline of Western civilization” in the first place? Who else are people concerned might be “undermining the West”? Who else are you implicitly singling out as your enemy by perpetuating a narrative in which (white) “Western” influence is falling across the board, and in which that’s an existentially bad thing?

This is like Nazi rhetoric 101, guys, and you need to stop uncritically parroting it, holy shit.

[maddie-2022]

The only people I would ever call degenerates are fascists themselves. Our culture, our civilization, is built on the mingling and sharing of ideas, on people of diverse backgrounds working together to build a greater whole. Breaking up into smaller, isolated groups, pushing back against social progress, glorifying violence and our most base and animalistic instincts, that is the degenerate ideology. That is the kind of ideology that drives the decline and fall of civilizations.

[caustic-light]

Going “actually Nazis are the degenerates” is still believing in degeneracy and still helps spread their ideas by normalizing the concept.

Either degeneracy is real, or not. There is no wiggle room between those options.

[vamptits]

hostile architecture would be bad even if it only hurt homeless people btw.

[vamptits]

"it's evil because it hurts [group of people]" ok. it's evil because it's designed to make life unliveable for homeless people.

[tanadrin]

we should globally ban the introduction of more powerful computer hardware for 10-20 years, not as an AI safety thing (though we could frame it as that), but to force programmers to optimize their shit better

[kawaiimunism]

I reblogged this like 9 times kinda jokingly, but software should be able to run on older and less powerful hardware, and consume less power on newer hardware. Like, this is a real problem imo

[subrosadraco]

[angremlin-deactivated20250312]

I completely agree with this but I do need you to understand that the image above is 32 times the size of the lunar mission’s memory

[wumblr]

[louisegluckpdf]

his ass is NOT getting away from the sound of the woman that loved him 😂

[louisegluckpdf]

for some reason people think this is about the new taylor swift album and i want everyone to know from the bottom of my heart that if you're mistaking my fleetwood mac post for taylor swift i have nothing but undiluted and unbridled disdain for you

[cleolinda]

[theodoradove]

#when stevie nicks says she will haunt your ass#your ass stays haunted#and then she will make you sing backup on the haunting (via @cleolinda)

[kiwianacat]

Treebeard takes his pet hobbits for a walk.

This was so much fun to draw, really happy with how he looks, I think he turned out just as I imagined him in the series! I based him off an oak tree, I don’t believe he has a given tree in the books but I could be wrong lol.

[floralls]

[ceslatoil]

I found a tiktok that has the same energy of a vine and I’ve been in tears over it

[wheredoisign]

[lionfloss]

Centuripe, province in Enna, Sicily, Italy

[thewerebunny]