a rent check and an afterthought

Giant nerd, huge dork, big ham. Aspiring Pokemon Master, age 32. Top TagsSelfie TagLifting PostsPuns Puns Puns Text Posts & Replies

[iscairot]

i think the hardest i’ve ever been owned was when my boyfriend and i were talking about our favorite feelings/sensations and he was like “my top 9 out of 10 feelings are sex with you” and i was like “aw baby🥺🥺🥺. what’s the tenth one??” and he didn’t hesitate even a little before saying “sex with your mom”

[thedogeveryonehates]

[veryluckyclovers]

sending love to those fighting the job market

[spockvarietyhour]

Gets funnier every time.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[dorky-jenny]

also

[agentloonypants]

Murdered CEO owed “substantial amount of money” to driver who killed him, records show

Recently released court records show that the CEO who was allegedly murdered by his own driver owed the man a “substantial amount of money".

[robertreich]

Your regular reminder that trickle-down economics is a cruel joke designed by the wealthy.

[theunicorncomic-blog]

[randomushroom]

HE FOUND TUMBLR??????

[robertreich]

I’ve been here the whole time.

[ruinedchildhood]

[drchucktingle]

excited about TIME today. it is so nice to end up in place where CHANGE exists. how lucky it is to have a say in the path of existence WHAT AN HONOR. overwhelmed with gratitude that the universe chats with us and negotiates in this way

[chronivore]

[panteneprovcommercial]

[toetagsandbowties]

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Definitely one of the funniest feature discord has added.

WARNING! ANNOYING BITCH HAS BREACHED THE PERIMETER!!!

DO YOU WISH TO EVACUATE?

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[shadyufo]

Checked my trail cams today—this one was taken on Easter <3

[shelteringyourdna-deactivated20]

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.

[shelteringyourdna-deactivated20]

do not 10k me stop that

[ebonyheartnet]

*clicks reblog* your old friend, the conses of your quences, sends their regards

[soyeahso]

I was looking at contact paper because I have some shelves to line like some kind of adult and while I was innocently browsing, I came across this. 

Horrifying. But it got worse. 

Imagine coming home from school and your mom’s all “Hey honey I redid your room!”

[a-crowcats-nonsense]

NOT THE JALLPAPER

[liesmyth]

DNI if you carry iron, instruments of music, or devices for making Light

[unmarkedcards]