I love maysilee donner bc she knew she was probably gonna die so she just bitched at everyone that deserved bitching, had a picnic, and punched the capitol in the face. Literally. No one has ever done it like her
Here is the next chapter! It is super long. I just kept going. 🤷🏼♀️I didn’t want to split it up.
Let me know if you want to be tagged.
Tag List: @scaramou
Ruby sat on Steve's front porch waiting for Jason. His coach had given the team that Friday afternoon off. They were leaving in the morning to head to their sectionals tournament. Ruby honestly couldn't wait for the season to be done. She had barely seen him the last week because of his insane schedule.
She was looking forward to just going out and focusing on anything other than Will being dead and Barb vanishing. Steve had gone to hang out with Tommy and Carol since Nancy couldn't hang out and Ruby had plans with Jason.
She stood up as Jason pulled into the driveway. He was out of the car before she had the chance to reach his car. His tight hug was probably the best feeling in the world.
"How are you holding up? I'm sorry I couldn't be at the funeral with you." He asked when he finally let her go. She shrugged.
"Steve went with me so I wasn't alone. We didn't go to the wake after. I just...couldn't. Right now...I'm mostly worried mostly. Worried about Barb. Worried about Dustin, he's been acting strangely, even for him. Worried about my dad." Jason had tucked her hair behind her ear.
"I'm glad Steve was there for you." Jason genuinely meant that. He was trying to look at Steve in a different light. At the end of the day, both he and Steve wanted the same thing, Ruby's happiness. "The feeling worried? That's understandable." He understood her worry over Dustin and Barb. He just wasn't sure why she was worried about her father. He didn't press her on it though. She would tell him when she was ready.
"I just feel helpless and useless because there isn't a damn thing I can do to help any of them." He studied her face in concern. He hated that she was struggling.
"Rue, you aren't useless. You’re there for Dustin. You did everything you could for Barb by telling the officers what you know. I know that you've been so supportive to Nancy. Your dad? He's a. adult, he doesn't need you to protect him or take care of him. He's supposed to protect and take care of you." Ruby wanted to argue about her dad, that they took care of each other, but before she opened her mouth, she realized she wanted to argue just to argue. It oddly made her feel better, but Jason didn't deserve that. Also, he was right. He put his arm around her and led her over to his car, opening her door and then shutting it once she was sitting.
When he got back into the driver's seat, he stopped to really look at her. She had dark circles under her eyes. He knew she hadn't been sleeping. He hated seeing her like this. He knew Steve was worried about her too. He could tell by the look on his face any time he was looking at Ruby.
"Hey, are you sure you're up to going out?" She looked at him, nodding her head.
"Yes, I can't take just sitting around and ruminating in my feelings. I need a distraction. Plus I've really missed you. Is it wrong I want you guys to lose?"He smiled at her and chuckled.
"I think I can handle being your distraction. Also, I appreciate and love that you want to spend time with me, but please don't root for my team’s demise.." She returned his smile with a hesitant one of her own. He took her hand and kissed the back of it before backing out of the driveway. They fell into a comfortable silence as he drove. She didn't know why, but she didn't tell him about her dad missing the funeral. Maybe because it would lead to him asking questions she didn't even know how to answer. She stared at him for a few moments and felt this rush of affection for him. He could have been home resting for his busy weekend and yet, here he was with her.
"Jason?" Her voice was tentative.
"What's up sweetheart?" She never thought she'd been one of those girls that loved sickening sweet names of affection, but coming from him she couldn't get enough of them.
"I love you." She wasn't falling in love with him anymore, she was there. It took him a moment to respond and in the seconds of silence she started to second guess herself.
"Ruby Elizabeth Hopper, I love you too. I think I have for a while. Since before I told you I was falling in love with you. I just didn't want to scare you off." Her smile was bright and genuine. It made him feel a slight amount of relief to see it.
"I'm glad you waited so that I could say it first." He was giving her one of his brightest smiles. She touched his cheek and ran her thumb across it.
"Me too Rue." He put his eyes back on the road to avoid an accident, but took her hand in his to hold it once she dropped it from his cheek.
He couldn't stay out late since he had to be up early. He had decided to take her to a movie. The movies were her favorite thing to do. He didn't want to have to try and pull a conversation out of her when she was so upset. He noticed how quiet she got when she was dealing with anything that was emotional. Even with her confession, he knew she was struggling. The movie and snacks could fill that void, he just wanted to be with her. He knew that was the best thing he could offer her, silent support.
Once they got to the theater, the first thing he did was rush over to open her door and help her out of the car. She had gotten accustomed to waiting for him to do so. As I independent as she was, she knew he loved doing that and part of her loved it to. Once he shut her car door, he took her arms and wrapped them around his neck and pushed her up against the car and kissed her. It was deep and intense, so much so, they heard someone wolf whistle. When he pulled away, he could see that she was blushing. It wasn't out of embarrassment, it was just the effect he had on her.
"C'mon, I know you hate missing the previews." He took her hand and led her inside and bought their tickets. He loaded them up on snacks. He even put M&Ms in the popcorn with extra butter without teasing her. It was a habit she picked up from Dustin, though he had moved on to Milk Duds. He wanted her to have everything she wanted.
Ruby couldn't even remember what the movie had been about, or even which one they had gone to see. She was distracted. The kiss Jason had given her had made her head spin. Her mind was fighting against itself thinking about that and everything else. She had been in her own world trying to figure out what had been up with Dustin and why her father seemed so distracted. She had barely spoken to him. He even had his lackeys talk to her about Barb, which she didn't appreciate. The two of them were morons of the highest order in her opinion.
She had hugged Dustin so tightly the night they had found out about Will. Steve had taken her there to check on him. The next day, he was acting as if nothing had happened. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, but she couldn't help but to think he was hiding something.
When they had pulled into Steve's driveway, Jason got out to open her door. When his lips landed on her forehead, she leaned into him, one hand on each side of his torso. His hands were half on each side of her neck and half into her hair. She didn't want him to leave. If they had gone to her house she probably would have asked him to stay. She just needed someone close that was comforting and part of her felt wrong for leaning on Steve for that.
"Everything is going to be okay. It's just going to take some time." He felt her head nod.
"I should go in. You need to get home and get some rest." He pulled away just enough to hook his forefinger under her chin to tilt her head so he could kiss her again. This one was less intense as the previous kiss, but equally passionate. She missed him as soon as his lips left hers.
"Get some rest. There is no use losing sleep over what you can't control." She nodded again.
"I make zero guarantees. but I promise to try. Good luck tomorrow." She slowly retracted herself from him.
"I'll call you tomorrow night and let you know how it went." She wished him good night and she didn't hear his car door shut until she was safely behind the Harrington door.
Steve's parents must have gone out because the house was quiet. She knew that Steve was in the house, his car was in the driveway. She made her way upstairs and to Steve's room. His door was open and she leaned against the doorway. It took her a moment to register the anguish on his face.
"Steve...what's wrong? What happened." He let out a laugh, but it wasn't a happy laugh.
"Apparently the conversation you had with me about Nance...you should have had it with her." The skin between her brows bunched together.
"What are you talking about?" She walked into his room and sat on his bed. He was at his desk chair and he turned to face her.
"I was worried about her, everything with Barb. My initial reaction was shit. So I wanted to stop by and check on her. When I climbed up to her window to knock, she was sitting on her bed with Jonathan Byers. Tommy and Carol were with me so they got to witness my humiliation." Ruby squinted at him.
"Wait...what?" This wasn't like Nancy at all. She wasn't the type of person that would cheat, was she? The Jonathan Byers of it all was really throwing her off, especially after the pictures he had taken. She could see Nancy still wanting to be there for him after they found Will, but him in her bedroom made no sense.
"I know...I didn't want to believe it. You were so worried about me hurting her. I really like her Rubes...liked her. I've never felt like this before." That was a lie, but he couldn’t tell her that she was the first person he felt like that about.
"Steve...I'm so sorry." She reached out and took his hand in hers.
"Yeah...I don't want to keep talking about it. Any luck with your Dad?" Steve also found it strange that Hopper hadn't been at the funeral.
"No...I'm going to swing by the house in the morning. Try to corner him." Steve laughed, in spite of himself.
"You are your father's daughter." It was her turn to laugh.
"That I am. C'mon, let's order a pizza and watch horrible TV." Steve nodded in agreement and followed her downstairs.
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Ruby's anxiety was at an all time high. Her house was trashed and there was no sign of her father anywhere. He had cut open the cushions of the couch, lamps were broken and she saw what looked suspiciously like pain killers spilled all over the coffee table and empty beer cans.
Ruby regretted not bringing Steve with her, she was scared. She thought her dad would be less likely to talk if Steve was there. Now, she felt dread rising inside of her. She needed answers, immediately. She wasn't going to let him brush her off anymore. There was obviously something deeper going on.
She quickly left, careful not to touch anything. As she backed out the the driveway, her eyes landed on the Henderson household. She tried to tell herself it was all a coincidence. Will's disappearance and death. Benny's supposed suicide and Barb's disappearance. She didn't care what Powell said, Barb didn't run away. Someone moved her car to that bus station. Both her father and Dustin were acting shady. Then Nancy and Jonathan...it all was off.
She pulled into Dustin's driveway. If she couldn't interrogate her father, she was going to question Dustin. She knocked on the door and Claudia Henderson answered. Her face lit up when she saw Ruby. Claudia adored her. She often told Ruby she was the daughter she had always wanted and the big sister Dustin deserved.
"Oh Ruby, how nice to see you! What can I do for you?" Ruby could feel her maternal warmth radiating over her. Part of her wanted to break down and tell her everything, but she didn't want to get Dustin in trouble.
"I actually came to check on Dustin." Claudia gave her a sad smile.
"I appreciate you looking out for Dusty. You just missed him. He went off with the boys. Losing Will has been so hard on all of them. I'm glad they at least have each other." Ruby hummed in agreement.
"Will you tell him that I stopped by?" Claudia patted her on the cheek.
"Of course I will." Ruby said her goodbyes and quickly got into her car. Part of her wanted to ask her if she had seen her father, but something stopped her. She had no idea what to do next. She decided to head back to Steve's to get him and hopefully hunt down her father.
When she got back to The Harrington's, she noticed that Steve's car was gone. She pulled into the driveway and slammed the heel of her hand on the steering wheel.
"God damn it." She screamed with no one around to hear her frustration. She wished he had waited for her to get back before he left. The internal alarm that she had, the one that always made the hair on her arms stand on end when something felt wrong was screaming at her.
She sat in the driveway for a moment trying to decide what her next move would be. She got out of the car and slammed the door. She went around to the passenger side and grabbed her purse.
Steve had to be in town. She assumed he was with Tommy and Carol. They never hung out at either one of their houses, only at Steve's like the leeches they were. She decided to leave her car and walk there. She was determined to get him to ditch the pair and help her find either her dad or Dustin and the boys. She didn't want to do that with two cars. She headed down his driveway to make the walk to downtown. She was happy in that moment that Hawkins was small enough to make the trek on foot.
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Ruby stopped suddenly when she saw the movie theater marquee graffiti calling Nancy a slut. She knew exactly who wrote that. She also knew that Steve was hurt and wouldn't feel the urge to discourage it. As she started to cross the street, she heard Carol's cackle from the alley and she quickly moved into that direction.
She saw Steve standing despondent while Tommy was writing Jonathan was a perv on a piece of plywood. She felt white hot rage. He had just buried his brother, regardless of what happened, he didn't deserve this.
"Steve...what the fuck?" Ruby threw her hands up, gesturing towards the movie theater and to Tommy.
"What's the problem? It's the truth." Carol snapped her gum. Ruby had never wanted to punch her harder in the face. It just wasn't exactly a good look for the Chief of Police's daughter to be breaking noses.
"Nancy is not a slut." Ruby decided to ignore Carol for the moment and focus on Steve.
"She cheated on me." Steve shot back.
"Oh...so you actually saw them kissing or having sex?" Steve scoffed.
"Not exactly..." Ruby stepped towards him.
"So, You don't know what happened and instead of putting your big boy pants on and confronting her, you're hiding behind these two childish losers." Ruby's expression was hard.
"Yeah...pretty sure the losers are Byers and Nancy." Tommy's tone was laced with malice.
"You are better than this." She ignored Tommy too.
"You're supposed to be on my side. You're my best friend. She hurt me." Ruby pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I am always on your side, but I would be a shitty best friend if I didn't call you out on your hypocrisy. How many girls have you done this to?" Steve was silent for a moment.
"That isn't the point." He tried to argue.
"It is exactly the point. How many girls have you given false hope to only to turn around and pretend like they meant nothing to you? Maybe this is karma Steve." He blinked for a moment. He knew she was referring to what happened between the two of them, even if she didn't.
"Ruby..." his voice trailed off. He didn't want to say anything about it in front of Tommy and Carol. He would never betray her like that.
Their conversation was interrupted by Nancy walking up and slapping Steve in the face. Ruby watched in horror as she and Steve argued, it only got worse when Jonathan arrived. Ruby begged Steve to stop and covered her mouth when he mentioned Will. He hadn't just crossed the line, he had pole vaulted over it.
She and Nancy were screaming for the boys to stop as they rolled around on the ground fighting while the other three cheered it on. Before she knew it, the police sirens were screaming in her ears and Steve was yanking her along with him after Jonathan accidentally hit officer Callahan. She tried to pull away so she could help Jonathan, but Steve's grip on her was too strong.
When they were far enough away, Steve's grip on her loosened and she was finally able to wrench herself free. She spun and glared at him.
"What is wrong with you?" Steve took a few steps back.
"What is wrong with me? She was there with him, what more proof do you need?" She shook her head.
"What you said about Will? That was over the line!" Steve scoffed.
"I cannot believe you right now." Her eyes were wide and had a wild look to them.
"I am so done." The octave of her voice had dropped
"Done? What do you mean?" She laughed sardonically.
"You know exactly what I mean. If you want to be mad at Nancy and Jonathan...fine, I get it. You don't go after someone's mom or their dead brother that he just buried yesterday. If you can't see how wrong that is, I don't know what else there is to say because that means you're exactly like that asshole and that hag and not just tolerating them." Tommy, Carol and Nicole stood back watching. Ruby was shocked that neither Tommy or Carol had anything to say after she had just insulted them both. The look of outrage drawn on Ruby's face must have made them keep their mouths shut. Ruby was something else when her temper took over.
"Ruby...you don't mean that." He didn't think there was anything that would ever break up their friendship.
"I do, Steve. I can't defend the things you just said. It was too far." She turned and started walking in the direction of the police station.
"Ruby...where are you going?" He yelled after her, but she didn't respond. She hoped she could at least vouch for Jonathan with her father.
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Flo raised her eyebrows when Ruby came rushing into the station. Callahan and Powell had said that she had been at the scene of the incident, but Flo didn't expect her to show up at the station. She assumed she would have been helping Steve Harrington tend to his wounds.
"Flo, where is my Dad?" She studied her face for a moment.
"Sweetheart, I haven't seen him since yesterday." She could tell she had Ruby had expected him to be in his office or at least know where he was.
"Jesus Christ." She swore. Her cursing l took Flo by surprise. She had never seen Ruby this agitated. She could see the Jim Hopper in her. Ruby rubbed the spot of skin inbetween her eyes. "They need to let Jonathan go. It was an accident." Flo gave her a kind smile.
"Honey, he assaulted a police officer." Ruby shook her head.
"Not intentionally. Where is he?" Flo pointed to where Jonathan and Nancy were seated.
"Your friend is with him." Ruby nodded and rushed to where Nancy and Jonathan were waiting.
"What are you doing here?" Jonathan didn't seem exactly happy to see her, not that she could blame him.
"I came here to try and talk some sense into them because I know you didn't mean to hit an officer. My dad will listen to me. They would have radioed him. Jonathan, I’m so sorry." Both Nancy and Jonathan looked surprised.
"I figured you'd be taking care of Steve." Ruby gave Jonathan a dirty look.
"For the record, I do have a mind of my own. I was ripping into Steve before you got there. Don't assume you know anything about me. Nancy...you need to tell me what is going on right now." Ruby demanded her finger tip punctuated each word. Jonathan had the good sense to look contrite.
"Ruby...I can't." Nancy said after a moment.
"Yes, you can. I know something is going on. If you lie to me, I am going to lose it, like completely lose it. Everyone is lying to me. I cannot take any more lies. So whatever is going on, I need to know. I can't help if I don't know." Nancy looked to Jonsthan, unsure of what to do. Jonathan thought that Ruby would be a good person to have in their corner. He gesture to Nancy to tell her.
Ruby silently listened as Nancy pulled out the picture of Barb and the menacing figure behind her. Ruby's eyes widened with horror as Nancy explained what had happened the night prior. The deer, the faceless man like monster, how she had ended up in a creepier version of their woods. How they thought Will was alive and that Barb was likely trapped there too. Ruby had clamped her hand over her shocked mouth. Ruby didn't have much of a chance to respond before her father and Joyce had stormed into the station.
Ruby, despite her anger at her father, ran and hugged him. After what Nancy and Jonathan had just shown her, she was afraid something bad had happened to him. She also deduced that he had an idea of what was going on since he was with Joyce and he had been keeping her at arms length.
"I didn't think I was ever going to see you again." She cried. He cradled the back of her head.
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. But why are you here?" She pulled away.
"To make sure you knew that Callahan is a big baby and Jonathan didn't mean to hit him." Her father laughed, in spite of what they were dealing with. He knew Ruby despised Callahan and Powell. She insulted them every chance she got. They had never dared to retort out of their fear of Hopper's reaction.
After he demanded that they release Jonathan, Callahan brought in a box of everything they had found in Jonathan's car. Ruby groaned running her hand down her face. They would just have to explain themselves to her father and Joyce. Hopper pulled the three of them and Joyce into his office where Jonathan and Nancy retold their story. Ruby added in that she just found out all of this information too. She had known something was off, but she hasn't been able to put a finger on what it was. Jonathan and Nancy had validated her anxiety.
The next few hours went by in a flash. They discovered that the girl Hawkins Lab was looking for was with Dustin, Mike and Lucas. She had been the child that Benny had helped. Ruby was certain now that he didn't kill himself and she finally understood what Dustin had been hiding. Between Nancy, her father and Ruby promising Dustin that they were trying to help them, they had gotten all of the kids and they were currently at the school building a sensory deprivation tank.
Ruby stopped for a moment to watch the girl. She was so young and far more innocent than most kids her age. With her big brown eyes, she reminded Ruby of a baby doe. She was so innocent yet incredibly brave. It didn't seem fair that she was saddled with all of this responsibility. Yet Ruby knew that life was very rarely ever fair. She had seen far too many examples of the unfairness that life had to offer and there wasn't anything that she could do to change it for this young girl.
Her head was still spinning. It was hard to comprehend all that she had learned in a short time period. A few hours ago, her biggest problem was Steve's idiotic behavior. That seemed so stupid in light of what they were dealing with. Steve was her best friend, faults and all. She knew that she would never truly walk away from him. He was hurt, but he didn't understand what was really going on. If he knew the truth, he would have appreciated Jonathan taking care of Nancy in that moment. Wouldn't she have assumed the same thing? She had never been so happy for him not to be around.
She saw Dustin alone and took the first opportunity she had to talk to him. He winced slightly when he saw her walking over, he didn't want her to be angry with him. He could deal with his mom's disappointment, but not Ruby's. She could see the nervousness in him. She wasn't going to yell at him. She just wished he had trusted her with what was happening.
"Dustin." He looked at her as she waved him over for him to sit next to her on the bleachers. He slowly made his way over to her, contrition on his face. That was apparently the mood of the day
"Ruby...I'm sorry." She patted his cheek and smiled at him, it caught him off guard. He was expecting her to be pissed. He was expecting a Hopper level lecture. She had learned from the best after all.
"You have nothing to apologize for. I get why you didn't say anything, but Dustin? No more secrets. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on. I would hope by now you would trust me enough for I know I wouldn't tell my Dad anything unless it was necessary. Everyone else here...they have siblings. You and I? We have to stick together. I am 100% in your corner. I've got your back, always." She put her arm around him.
"I was just scared you wouldn't believe me." He confessed. That she could understand.
"Well, maybe I wouldn't have at first without proof. Just know I will always be willing to hear you out, especially after all of this." She gestured around. "I will try and keep you safe, you know that right?" He nodded, wrapping his arms around her waist to hug her. She rested her chin on top of his head. Despite what they were about to walk into, she felt better knowing that both her Dad and Dustin were okay or as okay as they could be all things considered.
"Guys...we're ready." Her father called. He had a faint smile on his face after watching Ruby's interaction with Dustin. He was so proud of her and how caring and responsible she was.
It still seemed so wrong to Ruby to put this much pressure on such a young girl, but what other choice did they have? She was their only way to find Will and Barb. Ruby saw the hope on Nancy's face be crushed when Eleven said that Barb was gone. She wanted to follow her when she rushed out of the gym, but she also wanted to give her a few minutes alone to let the news sink in. She knew sometimes she needed time alone to process.
Ruby let the sadness wash over her in waves. She had finally broke through Barb’s tough exterior. She was looking forward to their friendship. She desperately wished she had never left Barb that night. Had she known what was lurking out there, she never would have. Hindsight was a bitch. She couldn't imagine the level of guilt coursing through Nancy's veins. If Ruby felt responsible, she knew Nancy did too. She came with Barb and should have left with her instead of staying with Steve.
Finally, the girl was able to give them the information of Will's location in what they were calling the "Upside Down". She followed her father and Joyce out with all intentions of going with them to the lab. No way was she letting her Dad go on his own. She stumbled when he stopped short and turned to face her.
"No...no no no NO. You are not coming with us." His tone was firm, alluding to there being no room for negotiation. She had to try anyway. Ruby felt fear engulfing her.
"You have to let me come with you. You're going to need help! Dad, please, I can help." She pleaded.
"Absolutely not. You are staying here where you will be safe." Ruby wasn't ready to give up.
"But you won't be safe!" She cried. "I...I can't lose you too." For the first time in a long time, Hop heard the voice of his little girl. The little girl that needed two stories and for him to tuck her in tight. The little girl that begged him to stay in her room until she fell asleep after Sara died. She was so grown up now, he had forgotten how much she needed him still. Hopper walked over to her and hugged her.
"I promise you that I am coming back to you. I will not leave you alone, do you hear me?" She nodded, but she wasn't sure if she believed him. He couldn't guarantee that. How could he guarantee that?There were things outside of his control. She would rather die with him than be left alone in this world.
She stood in the hallway and watched as he and Joyce left. She thought the despair was going to swallow her whole. Joyce had given her a hug on her way out and thanked her for looking out for Jonathan. Ruby barely registered what Joyce had said. She was terrified it was the last time she was going to see her father. She tried to memorize what he looked like. She didn’t want to forget his face. She had a hard time remembering her mother’s without a picture of her. She couldn’t fathom the idea of that happening with her father. What would happen to her if he died? Where the hell would she go? How would she survive this world without him in it? She turned and instead of going back to the gym with the boys and the girl, she found Nancy and slid down the wall and sat next to her.
"Are you okay?" Ruby asked, trying to hide her own fear.
"No. Are you?" Nancy looked at her. Ruby shook her head and drew her knees to her chest and rested her forehead on them.
"What if that thing kills my dad? I...I can't lose him too." She choked back a sob. Nancy put her arm around her and they rested their heads together.
"Your dad is smart and tough. If anyone can make it out of there alive and well, it's him. It's where you get your strength from. I have faith in him." Nancy tried to reassur her.
"Nance...this? This is different. This is something beyond anything that he can control. It’s beyond anything any of us could imagine." Ruby felt a few tears slip from her eyes. She was so damn tired of crying so much.
"Maybe we can help them." They both looked at Jonathan when they heard his voice.
"How?" Ruby would do anything to try and help her father but also Joyce and Will. Her interests were directly aligned with Jonathan's.
"We stick to the plan Nancy and I had. We draw it out and trap it. Then, we kill it." Ruby squared her jaw. It was a good plan. If it was too busy with the three is them, it wouldn't have time to attack her father as he and Joyce searched for Will. Ruby looked at Nancy and she gave her a nod.
"Let's do it. After we get your goodies from the station, we have to stop at my house first." Ruby took Jonathan's hand to pull herself to her feet.
"Why?" Ruby turned to Nancy.
"I know where my dad has his extra gun. We're going to need it." As they walked out of the school, Ruby hesitated for a moment when she thought of the boys and the girl. They would be safer at the school than coming with the three of them as they invited danger into Jonathan's living room.
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For the first time in Steve Harrington's life, he actually listened to Ruby the first time she told him to do something. It was a day of firsts apparently. He just picked the exact wrong time to apologize to Jonathan. First he saw Nancy's bandaged hand. When he shoved the door open and saw Ruby's and then Jonathan's he went ballistic. Nancy, God love her, threatened to shoot him to keep him safe. Granted Steve didn't know that so he freaked out even more. Ruby knew that like herself, she wanted to keep Steve away from this. Thankfully, Jason was on the road and far removed from this insanity.
Soon after Steve’s arrival, the lights started flickering and that thing started breaking through the ceiling. Ruby froze and dropped her gun. Her insides were screaming for her to run, but she couldn't move. It wasn't until Steve grabbed her hand and yanked her down the hall that she was able to snap out of it. Despite being freaked out, Steve had shoved her behind him. Once it vanished, Steve was pacing and freaking out again. Nancy had convinced him to leave. He knew Nancy wasn't going to leave with him, but the fear in Ruby's face had given him hope that at least she would come with him.
"Ruby, c'mon. Your dad will kill me if I don't get you out of here." Steve begged.
"No. I'm here for him. I need to help my Dad. Steve, please just go. Nancy needs you safe. I need you safe." He took a deep breath and slammed the door behind him. He didn't quite understand how this was helping her father, but she didn't exactly have time to catch him up to speed.
Just as Ruby picked up her gun, the room went dark. The thing was back and on top of Jonathan, who had dropped his bat. Ruby and Nancy unloaded their bullets into it, but it did nothing. They may as well have been blowing bubbles at it. When she was out of bullets, it turned towards her and Nancy. She froze in fear again. The gun did absolutely nothing. She couldn’t beat this thing. Just when she thought she was a goner, she saw Steve, beating it with the nail filled baseball bat. As much as she wanted him safe, seeing him had flooded her with relief. It was in the trap and then it was on fire, but when Jonathan put out the flames, it was gone.
"No..." Ruby whispered. Jonathan thought it was dead, but she knew better. It was gone because it was still alive. She knew there was a good chance it was now going after her father. Ruby felt her knees go out underneath her.
"Ruby..." Steve grabbed her before she had the chance to hit the ground.
"My dad..." she was shaking. She tried to will herself to be still, but she couldn't.
"We have to hope we gave them enough time." Nancy tried to comfort her. Ruby didn't respond, she just closed her eyes and let the tears fall down her cheeks.
"We should get back to the school. Check on the kids" Jonathan suggest. Ruby nodded.
"I'll drive." Steve offered.
"I don't want to be without my car." Jonathan was not ready to trust Steve and he wanted to be able to leave at a moments notice.
"Ruby...why don't you ride with Steve. Jonathan and I will be right behind you guys." Nancy knew that Ruby needed Steve more than she did in that moment. He would be the one to get her to calm down. Plus, she didn’t even know where they stood. He did come to apologize to Jonathan, which was huge.
"C'mon..." Steve put his arm around her and led her to his car. He didn't know where he and Nancy stood, but they could figure that out later.
Once they started driving, Ruby started talking. Steve tried to not ask any questions. He was afraid that if he interrupted her she would stop speaking. Her voice was trembling along with her hands. He had never seen her so scared.
"This is insane." He finally muttered, running his hand down his face.
Ruby was in shock and needed medical attention, but she refused to let Steve bring her to the hospital. She wanted to check on Dustin and the girl. Steve was still confused about the girl named after a number. Hopefully once Ruby calmed down she could better explain her.
The car had barely stopped moving when Ruby jumped out ignoring the throbbing in her ribs. She had collided with the doorway when Steve had dragged her away from the Demogorgan. Not broken, but definitely bruised. The school was surrounded with police and the fire department showed up with the ambulances.
"DUSTIN?!" She screamed looking around at all of the chaos. She never should have left him. She felt relief when she saw his curly head running to her. She wrapped her arms around her tightly when he reached her.
"Ruby! I was worried. You left. Then these assholes from the lab showed up. Eleven fought them off. The demogorgan showed up...it killed a bunch of people. Then Eleven got rid of it, but she vanished too." He didn't see her wince when he hugged her, but Steve did. Ruby wished he didn't fire off so many bits of information so quickly. The one thing that registered was that the girl was gone. Yet she couldn't help but be relieved. If the faceless monster had been at the school, it wasn't attacking her father.
"I'm okay Dustin..." she looked over at Steve who was talking to Officer Callahan. When they were done, Steve walked over.
"Your dad radioed in. He's at the hospital with Joyce and Will. He wants me to bring you there. Ruby nodded, flooded with relief. Steve hoped that her father could convince her to let a doctor look at her, she was in rough shape physically and emotionally. Steve was certain once she laid eyes on her father that she would relax and let them take care of her. He helped her into the car before getting in and heading in the direction of the hospital.
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Ruby sat in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. Her hand was expertly stitched up, her ribs wrapped and she was comfortably numbed by the benzos they had given her for the massive panic attack she had when she finally saw her father.
Steve sat in between her and Nancy. The two of them hadn’t talked yet. Ruby couldn't figure out if they were still together, she honestly couldn't care less in that moment. She had a feeling that even if they were together, they wouldn't last. She saw how Jonathan looked at Nancy and vice versa. She just didn't want to tell Steve that.
They were waiting for Will to wake up. She wasn't leaving the hospital without her father or Steve. She didn't want to be alone. Despite the medication in her system, she could feel fear below the surface. She didn't know if she would ever feel safe again. The idea of being alone tonight was terrifying her.
She felt Steve take her hand. He laced his fingers with hers trying to ground her. She must have started with the shakes again. Both he and Nancy were looking at her, expression filled with worry. She couldn't take it. They had gone through the same thing. Why weren't they as scared as she was? Why weren't they completely freaked out? Why wasn't she strong enough to deal with it? She stood up abruptly, pulling her hand from his.
"I need some air." Thankfully, no one immediately followed her. Steve knew when she needed closeness and needed space. He always knew. She needed some time to collect herself. He would follow her shortly.
She made her way down to the pharmacy and gave them the prescription the ER doctor had written for her so she'd have the anti-anxiety medication to hold her over until she could get in with her regular doctor and likely a therapist. Though that might land her in the psych ward if she tried to tell someone what happened.
Ruby was pretty sure she'd need a lobotomy to make it go away. She put the bottle of pills in her purse and made her way outside. She pulled out her pack of emergency cigarettes. She wasn't a regular smoker, she was a nervous smoker. She usually reserved her nicotine habit for finals week.
She took a long drag and sat down on the curb. It allowed her to curl into herself; to make herself small. She wanted everyone to stop looking at her. Her dad was safe. Steve was safe. Nancy and Dustin were safe. They all made it out to safety, except for the girl.
Ruby couldn't stop thinking about her. She counldn't get her wide, innocent brown eyes out of her head. Her young life had been lived in a lab. She was an experiment used by mediocre men. Then she sacrificed herself for Mike, Dustin and Lucas. She deserved better. Ruby had to believe that the girl was still out there. Even if she was in the Upside Down, she had to still be alive. Ruby wished she had the courage to find a way in there to find the girl. She couldn't even think of how to get into the Upside Down. Even if she did, how would she ever be able to walk into it?
She knew that her doeful eyes would haunt her for a long time. The unfairness of it all was hard for her to swallow. She deserved someone that would fight for her to have a life, to be safe. Ruby realized how lucky she was. She had her dad, Nancy, Steve and Jason...she had people to fight for her. Who was going to fight for the girl?
"There you are." Steve's voice made her jump. She hadn't heard his footsteps as he approached her. She had been lost in her own thoughts, she was easy sneak up on, whether he meant to startle her or not.
"Sorry Rubes...I didn't mean to scare you." He sat down next to her and took a drag from her cigarette that she still was holding between her fingers.
"By all means…help yourself." Her voice was deadpanned. At least her sarcasm was still intact. Steve ignored it though. His concern was at the forefront of his mind.
"You look really pale. You're still shakey. Your dad wants me to take you back to my house. He said he needs to get the house cleaned up and fix the couch and he doesn't want you to clean up the mess. He wants you to rest." Ruby nodded. Her will to fight had drained out of her. She was just going to let Jim Hopper and Steve Harrington call the shots, at least for that night.
"Okay..." Steve was expecting her to push back and argue to stay with her father. His brows knitted together. He put his arm around her and kissed her temple.
"Don't shut me out." His voice was quiet.
"I'm not...I'm just overwhelmed and scared. I don't know what to say or do." He watched her as she took another drag of her cigarette.
"Well, for tonight, you will be safe. You'll be with me and I'm apparently handy with a nail filled bat." Steve expected her to laugh but she turned her head sharply to look at him.
"I know you came back for Nancy...but you saved me. I froze, twice. It would have killed me." Steve was quiet for a moment.
"I didn't just go back for Nancy. I promised your father that I would always look out for you and protect you. I went back for you too. Ruby...my relationship with Nancy doesn't remove the love I have for you. You're my best friend. I'd die for you. Just like I know you'd die for me." He saw her eyes fill with tears again. She put her cigarette out and linked her arm in his and rested her head on his shoulder.
"You're right, I would die for you. In a heartbeat. I..I don't know why I froze like that." Steve shook his head.
"A faceless monster was standing in front of you, of course you froze. Most people would freeze. Can you not be so hard on my best friend?" She smiled.
"What about you and Nancy?" He sighed.
"I don't know. I'm hopeful we can figure it out, but that is not my main concern right now. You are." Ruby was quiet for a moment.
"I don't know how I'm going to deal with Jason when he gets back. I can't tell him the truth. He'll think I'm out of my fucking mind." Her head was racing.
"Why don't we table that for tomorrow. We will figure it out. Even if you, me and Nancy have to brainstorm together, we will help you figure it out. Can you just let me take you home and take care of you?" He leaned his head and rested it on top of hers.
"Yeah, I can do that. Besides, I have enough to obsess over. I can save all of the Jason worry for tomorrow." They sat there like that for a while. She finally felt her heart rate slow. She had felt like her heart had been pounding against her ribs for hours.
"C'mon, I promised your dad I'd get you out of here. You really do need some rest." She let Steve lead her to his car and back to his house.
She laid awake for a long time that night next to Steve. She didn’t even have to ask him to stay with her. She was laying on her side facing outward and he as lightly rubbing her back. When she finally fell asleep, Steve was waking her up from a nightmare. He convinced her to take more of the anxiety medication so she would get some real sleep. He could see that she had been traumatized. The idea of losing her father had been too much for her mind to handle. He had a feeling she had a long road ahead of her.
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Lying to Jason had been easier than she thought. She explained her injuries away with an accident. She gave him the canned version that Hawkins Lab had regurgitated about Will and Jason had bought it. He had no reason not to. Hawkins lab had tied it up with a nice little bow.
She spent most of her time now with Jason, Nancy and Steve. He had excised Tommy and Carol from his life. His "King Steve" crown was slightly tarnished, but Ruby wouldn't have it any other way. He was so much more relaxed and just a little bit more serious. For that, Ruby was grateful. She no longer had to ping pong between who he really was and who he tried to be for other people.
He and Jason tolerated each other for her benefit. They each respected their roles in Ruby's life. Ruby just felt bad for Jonathan. He must have felt like the spare tire for a car with the four of them. He was more friends with Nancy than with Ruby, but he and Ruby definitely got along.
It was Christmas Eve, and the four of them were hanging out at the Wheeler's house. She had convinced her father to pick up a bottle of wine for Karen based on Ruby's explicit instructions as he knew nothing about wine. She had asked Mrs. Harrington for advice. Her father had picked out a nice bottle of scotch for Ted. Ted could be prickly, but he appreciated Ruby's effort.
Nancy was bringing the new camera that Steve had bought for Jonathan. It was a nice gesture. She was glad that other people now got to see that side of Steve. She fingered the necklace that Steve had given her three days prior for her birthday. Born on the winter solstice, her mother had been convinced that it meant Ruby was special.
She and Steve had a standard date for their birthdays. Normally it would be breakfast at Benny's, this year was different. They still went out for breakfast, but Benny's birthday pancakes were missing. It was another loss that hit all over again.
After breakfast, Steve had presented her with his gift. It was a white gold necklace. He knew she hated yellow gold. He wanted to get her something better than silver. The charm on the necklace was a white gold solid circle. Engraved on one side was her birth flower, the Narcissus. Steve had explained that he researched it and that the flower was a symbol of hope, prosperity and renewal.
She was pretty certain Nancy had helped him, but she didn't care. It was his effort. He wanted her to have hope that she could physically hang onto. She had been touched by the deeply personal gift. Steve always went all out for her Birthday. This year, he was a little more sentimental. He knew that she needed it.
Her evening belonged to Jason. Her father had accepted that he didn't get to keep her to himself this year. She was growing up, and she seemed to be doing okay and he didn't want to rock the boat. Ruby was surprised that he didn't push back. He had spent the day before her birthday.
Jason had taken her to Enzo's. He told her to order whatever she wanted. When she tried to order Chicken, he told the waiter to ignore her and ordered the surf and turf special instead. He knew it was her favorite. He was happy that she didn't fight him on it. She didn't fight anyone on much anymore. She just went with the flow and it was a push pull between Jason and Steve that kept her afloat.
He bought her an expensive royal blue cardigan that she was currently wearing with a lace trimmed white tank top. He had also gotten her white gold blue topaz earrings to go with it. They had gone to a movie and spent the rest of the night alone in his car. He had knocked it out of the park.
When Jason got up to use the bathroom, Steve studied her. She seemed happy, but part of him knew it was an act. He was the only one other than Hopper that knew she had been put on an antidepressant for an anxiety disorder and PTSD. He also knew she was still having breakthrough anxiety and relying heavily on the benzos they had given her to get through the day. Her father didn't even know how bad it was. She could not shake the terror that had latched on to her. She didn't know how to put it behind her. Part of her felt like something was still looming.
She had been seeing this doctor, the same one that Will was seeing. He wasn't technically a psychiatrist, but it was the best they had given the situation. She couldn't go into therapy and lie about why she was as there. Steve didn't see much improvement until they added the other medication in. He hated that she was dependent on medications to keep the anxiety at bay. Yet, he would take any progress he could get. He just wanted her to be okay.
She had finally confided in Steve that she didn't think everything was done. She had an instinct that Steve couldn't ignore. How many times had her intuition been right in the past? He would be an idiot to ignore it. He just prayed that she was wrong for once.
Ruby could feel Steve's eyes on her, but she pretended that she didn't. He was worried about her, but she didn't want to invite that conversation with Jason around. They would have to stop talking mid conversation when he came back into the room. It always left an awkwardness to the air afterwards. Jason was just too polite to ask questions.
When Jason came back, he had Ruby's coat. She slowly stood from the couch. It meant that Dustin was ready to go home; they were his ride. Steve stopped her for a moment and pulled her into a tight hug. He held her for a couple of seconds longer than Jason would have liked, but Jason didn't say anything and Steve didn't care.
"Merry Christmas Rubes." He felt her hug him back tightly.
"Merry Christmas Steve." She couldn't wait to get home and listen to the "Best of 1983" mix tape be had made her.
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"Hi Dr. Owens." Ruby smiled brightly at him. She had spent spring break in Florida with her grandparents. Jason had gone with her and her grandparents had loved him. She was tan and the warm weather had felt amazing after an incredibly cold winter in Hawkins.
"Ruby, you're glowing, if you don't mind me saying." He commented.
"Thanks Doc. The week away was really good for me. It was a good distraction." He nodded.
"You still need distractions?" She shrugged off his concern.
"Everyone does. Between the stress of school and everything that happened, some space gave me perspective." She wasn't sure if Dr. Owen's was buying it. She was afraid he was going to have her committed if she didn't show some improvement.
"And what perspective did you gain while you were gone?" She signed.
"I can't control everything. My dad could get hit by a car tomorrow. I mean, I still have nightmares and anxiety attacks, but it's easier to break through them. The fact is, yes, one of those things could come back. I could also spend my life bracing for the worst to happen and it never does. I don't want to waste my life like that. I want to live." That was the truth. She didn't want to lie to Dr. Owen's completely. She was absolutely terrified all of the time, but she didn't want to like that. So she was going to fake it until she made it.
"I'm glad to hear that Ruby. It's a process though. You will probably still have bad days, but every day doesn't have to be a bad day. As time goes on, you'll be able to recognize what triggers your anxiety and PTSD and you'll learn how to manage them. You're only 17 years old and you've been through a lot. Not just what has happened here in Hawkins. You lost your mother, your sister and effectively lost another mother, though in a different way. I find you to be a remarkable young lady with a bright future ahead of her." Ruby was quiet for a moment.
"I've been thinking about that actually I think I want to go to school for psychology. I want to do something to help other people. I haven't told my dad yet, but I will have enough credits by next December of my senior year to graduate early. He didn't want me to do that, but I think I'm going to take advantage of it." Dr. Owen's listened intently.
"What do you plan on doing from January until August when your first semester starts?" This was something that Ruby had spent a lot of time thinking about.
"Honestly? Absolutely nothing. I'd take a break. I have managed to maintain a 3.8 GPA despite everything. I have worked really hard to bounce back after Sara. I want to spend time with my grandparents. I want to take some time and go back to New York. I miss the city so much. I've always promised Steve that I would take him to Long Beach to watch the sunset. It was a favorite pastime my mom and I shared." Dr. Owen's gave her a smile.
"That sounds like a great idea. Ruby, if anyone deserves to take some time to stop and smell the roses so to speak, it's you. Where do you want to go to college?"
"Well right now I'm focused on Butler University and Purdue. There is The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, but they've only been open since '79. I'm not sure if I want to bet on such a new organization. Right now, Butler is my top choice." He gave her a knowing smile.
"Butler and Purdue are both excellent options and they would give you the option of commuting." For not being a psychologist or psychiatrist, Owens was great at seeing through her.
"That is the perk. I know I can't live my life for my father, but I also don't want to leave home just yet. I spoke with someone in admissions at both universities and they can help me set up block scheduling so I can have either three or four day weekends. I'm not dependent on my dad, I'm not scared to leave him, I just don't want to. I actually like spending time with him. Plus, I would be able to be around for Dustin too. We have an only child bond. He's like my little brother." She felt like she had to over explain. She didn't want anyone to think she was too scared to leave. Actually, getting away from Hawkins would probably help her.
"Ruby, there is nothing wrong about wanting to be able to stay with your dad still or be around for Dustin. It means you have strong family ties, a good support system. That's a good thing. I'm betting that Steve Harrington and your boyfriend Jason are also adding to that decision.
"I mean, I don't know where Steve will be next year. He might ditch me and leave the state. As far as Jason goes, he will still have his second half of senior year to complete. Indiana University is where he is hoping to land right now. They have a great soccer program. He could also end up somewhere far away. He's going to be heavily scouted for soccer." Ruby paused for a moment to think before she continued.
"I...I can't base my decision on where he might end up. I don't know what is going to happen between him and I by the time we graduate. I have to be practical." Dr. Owens tilted his head to the side while studying her.
"You don't think that the two of you are going to last beyond high school. I mean, to be honest, the odds are you won't. Yet, there are always couples that beat those odds. You're a determined young lady. If you want it to work, I know you would find a way. What do you think is holding you back?" Ruby knawed at the bottom of her lip, deciding how she wanted to answer.
"Part of it is a gut feeling. You can ask Steve, my gut feelings are rarely wrong. Also...I think part of it is because I've had to lie to him so much about what happened in November. It would be different if he had been here and he knew what happened. How can you build a solid relationship on a foundation of lies. Someone new? I wouldn't even have to talk about it. I wouldn't have to lie to them." Dr. Owens was constantly surprised by her. She was wise beyond her years, too wise almost.
"I understand that. I can't imagine lying has been easy." She laughed a little.
"It's actually been a lot easier than you would imagine, which is why I hate it. I'm not a dishonest person and I don't like how good I am at lying. He doesn't know about my appointments with you. He doesn't know about the anxiety or PTSD. I just hide it. I've learned that I am really great at masking." Dr. Owens leaned forward and took her hand.
"Ruby...you've been through a hell of an ordeal. Don't be so hard on yourself. The lies you've told him, they're to protect him." Her eyes moved to the side to avoid making eye contact for a moment.
"I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it." He nodded and stood up. He wrote her new prescriptions for her medication and handed them to her.
"I think that is good for today. I also think that we can go down to seeing each other once a month. You're improving all of the time. But- if you need to talk before then, you call. Okay?" She gave him a genuine smile and nodded her head.
"Thanks Doc. I really appreciate you." Her smile lasted as she left the exam room.
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Steve was restless in the small waiting area that had been set up in Hawkins Lab. Part of him was always nervous that they wouldn't let Ruby leave. It had never happened and she was doing a lot better than she was in November. Yet, he still carried that anxiety. While it seemed that Dr. Owens was a good guy and helping her, he didn't trust anyone at that lab.
Then he saw her walking down the hallway. She hadn't noticed him yet, but she was smiling. A real smile. Not the tight one that didn't quite reach her eyes. She looked like his Ruby. He wasn't sure how long it would last. Every once in a while, he could see her slip into the anxiety and she's right back into the crux of her trauma. It did seemed that he was the only one that could spot it.
Jason had no idea what was going on, so he never caught it. Plus lately, he was really self-obsessed with soccer. Not that Steve held it against him, it was his ticket to his future. He just wished he would open his eyes and see her struggling. Nancy was also always distracted. Barb dying and her parents not knowing was really getting to her. They had these regular dinners with Barb’s parents that were incredibly uncomfortable, but he went to support Nancy.
Hopper had been giving Ruby an unusual amount of space. Ruby had mentioned that he was fixing up the cabin. Steve wondered if Dr. Owens told him to back off and let Ruby become a little more independent. What surprised him was Hopper was listening. Ruby, however, was almost certain he was seeing someone. The cabin wasn't live in ready. It was mostly a place for storage. To Ruby, it made perfect sense for her father to use it for get to know a woman. He wouldn't bring just anyone home and not until he was sure it would last. She hadn't pushed him on it yet. Steve knew her. Eventually she would get nosy and want to meet the mystery woman. For now, he enjoyed the freedom that she had.
He watched her as she walked down the hallway. Her hair was piled up on her head along with her sunglasses that were poised like a crown. She was wearing a black sun dress with her denim jacket and her favorite pair of black ADIDAS sneakers. She looked so beautiful. He hated himself for noticing it. When her eyes landed on him, she beamed.
"Good appointment?" He asked once she reached him.
"Really good. I only have to come once a month. I still need the medication, but I'm getting there." Steve put his hand on the small of her back as he guided her through the lab. He couldn't help himself. It was like a habit. The only time he avoided it was when Jason or Nancy were around.
He loved Nancy. Things were great, she was great. Yet, there was a little part of him that still yearned for Ruby. They had unfinished business. It had been almost a year since the two of them were moments away from sleeping with each other. He should just get over it, but he still thought about it all of the time. She was the one that got away and the "what if" game he played in his head was torture sometimes.
"I'm proud of you. It's not easy putting yourself out there and being open about struggling. They had made it to the parking lot. She stopped walking and turned to him. He gave her a questioning look before she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.
His hands rested on her hips. She still felt a spark any time he touched her. She had hoped that by now, it would go away. Ruby had come to accept that it never would. She knew that she would go the rest of her life loving two men at once. Whomever she was in a relationship with and Steve Harrington m. She would always love Steve just a little bit more. There would always be a piece of her heart that was spoken for.
"Thank you." She searched for more words to express her gratitude, but the English language failed her.
"For what?" He pulled away from the hug so he could see her face.
"For standing by me through all of this. You've brought me to every appointment. Held me while I've cried or been scared. Grounded me during panick attacks. You've stayed with me on my hardest days. Woken me up when I'm having a nightmare. Staying on the phone until I fall asleep. For not judging me." She licked her lips and then looked away like she was almost ashamed at how much she still needed him.
Her father had oddly been okay with her staying at Steve's house on non-school nights. Any reservations Hopper had when it came to Steve Harrington vanished when he found out that the kid ran back into danger and took on a Demogorgan head on to save his daughter's life. "That Harrington Boy" had won his complete trust when it came to his daughter. Hopper recognized that Steve made her feel safe, especially since she couldn't tell Jason what had happened. It was bad enough his daughter was struggling, but then she had to hide it from her boyfriend. She didn't seem ready to talk to her father, so he wasn't going to get in the way of the one person she could talk to.
What her father didn't know was that when she stayed at The Harrington house, she slept in his bed. On the nights that she was really spiraling, Steve would sneak into her bedroom window and stay with her. Those nights that the medication didn't keep her mind at bay. It was never anything more than making her feel safe, neither of them ever crossed the line. Yet they knew if Nancy or Jason found out, it would be a problem. So it was another lie that they both told.
Steve's hand found her cheek and her eyes met his. Her freckles had increased and darkened with the Florida sun and the blue of her eyes stood out again against her tan skin. They looked lighter than they usually did. Her normally paler skin made the blue seem darker in the midwestern winter.
"You are my best friend. You have stood by me through so much. You put up with Carol and Tommy until they were indefensible. You defended me, even when I wasn't in the room and probably when I didn't deserve it. God, all of my bullshit you have put up with? You have to know though that I would have been here for you through all of this, even if you didn't do all of those things." She hugged him again.
"You are the best friend I could ever hope for." He could hear the emotion in her voice. For the first time in a long time, it was positive emotions.
"C'mon, let's go get something to eat." She nodded and let him lead her to the car.
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Spring ebbed into summer and Ruby was feeling restless. Jason had been at a soccer training camp for most of the summer. He had a long weekend around the 4th of July. That weekend had been incredibly special. They had spent a lot of it at Steve's with him and Nancy by the pool. It was the night of the 4th of July that had stuck with her and still made her blush if she thought about it. Then, he was gone again.
Otherwise, she saw him once a week. It wasn't an overnight type of training camp, but it was about 2 hours away, so he was staying with his aunt and uncle that lived in that area. He was hers every Saturday, he tried to make up his absence by giving her the entire day. Friday nights were for dinner with him and his parents. Sundays, he slept in and then made the drive back so he could rest up and get ready for the week. Sundays mornings for her were meant for her and Steve. They had to find a new Breakfast place since Benny died, but it was always their thing. They debriefed on their Saturday activities with their significant others. One thing was for sure, Ruby hated soccer. She knew it was for his future and she wanted only the best for Jason, but she could not wait until the end of August when they would have two uninterrupted weeks together.
She was staring to feel like a third wheel in Steve and Nancy's relationship. To her credit, Nancy never complained. The girls had grown quite close since that fall. Nancy had lost her best friend and Ruby felt like she had lost her mind. Nevertheless, Nancy knew that if it was Steve that was at Basketball camp all summer, she would have been welcomed to spend time with Ruby and Jason. Ruby did try to get Jonathan to hang out more often, but he still wasn't keen on Steve, but Ruby knew it was because he had it bad for Nancy. They had talked about it. On occasion, she would swing by the Byler household to hang out with Jonathan. She liked that he was into film and photography. It was just a different form of art. Will loved having Ruby look at his drawings and she was more than happy to praise them or help him if he needed it.
Currently, her attention was finally on her father and his strange behavior. It finally occurred to her that the two of them rarely had a meal together anymore. It wasn't until Jason was gone and school was on summer break that she had the space to really notice it. Half of the time, she was in bed before he got home and was gone by the time she got up. He had told her he was working extra shifts and he was helping Joyce with Will and his lasting trauma from what happened.
Her trauma was nothing compared with what Will went through. She knew Joyce needed the support and Ruby felt like she didn't have the right to complain. Like Ruby, she couldn't really talk about what happened. It seemed that her father was Joyce's Steve. She would have thought something was going on if Joyce hadn't started dating someone.
She was also still convinced her father was actually dating someone that wasn't Joyce and he hadn't introduced her to Ruby yet. He was still allegedly working on the cabin. She didn't buy it. It didn't need that much work. She could understand if they had just started dating, but it had been months. She thought maybe he was embarrassed by her mental health struggles. Maybe she was so broken he was afraid it would scare her off.
She decided it was time for him to introduce her to this woman he was seeing and bringing to the cabin. She wanted her father back. She didn't like any woman that changed her father from the attentive, sometimes overly attentive, father that he was. She missed him, she just hadn't had the chance to realize it. She had finally had enough. Steve was taking Nancy out on a date. Instead of moping at home missing her boyfriend, she decided to go on a recon mission. She waited for her father to leave work and slowly followed him to the cabin. She was going to force the meeting. Was it slightly unhinged? Absolutely, but she didn't care.
She watched in confusion as he carefully stepped over what seemed to be a trip wire. She had thought his girlfriend wasn't there yet since there was no other car parked. Then, she watched in confusion as her father knocked on the door in a weird way and the door flew open. She thought that maybe the benzos were finally effecting her ability to think clearly.
She sat there for a little while, waiting just in case she hadn't really seen what she had just witnessed. She waited and waited for another car to pull up, but no one came. Maybe she had parked further away so no one knew she was there, waiting for her father. Eventually, she had enough of waiting. She got out of the car, located the trip wire and made sure to climb over it. She walked right up to the front door and pounded on it.
"C'mon Dad- open up. It's time for some father daughter honesty. Whatever you're hiding. I deserve to know why my own father is avoiding me." She was worried he wasn't going to open the door and that idea broke her heart. He didn't leave her waiting long before he whipped open the door.
"Ruby, I'm not avoiding you. I've been trying to give you space." She scoffed.
"Since when? You don't know the definition of space. All of the sudden you're cool with me crashing at Steve's for no reason? You're hiding something. Let me in." He stood in be way so she couldn't see. At this point, she just wanted to lay eyes on her. Did she look like her mom or Diane maybe?
"It's better this way. I need you to trust me." He watched had her nostrils flared in anger. She got that trait from him. It was the tell tale sign she was going to blow a gasket. He didn't want her to have to carry this burden. Once she knew, she couldn't unknow. He didn't want her to have to lie more than she already was. He knew how much it bothered her and she would have to lie to Dustin, which would be the hardest of all for her.
"Ruby, please..." he begged. She was a young woman that was already carrying too much pain. He didn't want to add to it. He didn't want to add another reason to be on edge. He just wanted her to be happy.
"For months, I barely see you. We rarely have breakfast or dinner together. With school and everything, I didn't have a chance to notice. You claim you're working and restoring the cabin, it's been months and it doesn't seem like you've gotten that much work done. It just seems to me like you're avoiding me. I know I've struggled since everything that happened last fall. I guess I just never thought you would be the one to abandon me over it." The words hit him like a slap in the face and the expression on her face told him that in his quest to not cause her pain; he caused her even more. He had done the one thing he had sworn he wouldn't do last fall, leave her. She had to know. He couldn't keep it a secret from her anymore.
"Ruby...that couldn't be further from the truth." He signed in resignation. "C'mon." He stepped aside and pulled her into the cabin. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the cabin.
On the table there were two TV dinners and a plate of Eggo waffles drowning in sugar. Then, her eyes traveled to the doorway of one of the bedrooms and there stood the girl and it was so much worse than a secret girlfriend. It was a secret kid, a secret daughter.
The girl she had felt so much empathy for. The girl that had broken her heart. The girl that she had thought about constantly since November. The girl who's face she had drawn over and over again. Now she was the girl who her father was actively choosing over her. She didn't blame the girl. It wasn't her fault. Her father liked to being needed. Maybe he thought Ruby didn't need him anymore.
"This is what you're been hiding? You've been avoiding spending time with me to what? Create a life with another daughter?" Ruby was incredulous. First it was Will and now the girl. She couldn't see past her own pain to actually understand.
"What? Ruby...no. That's..that's not what is happening. If the government knew where she was, they would take her. They'd bring her back to a lab." Ruby crossed her arms.
"How long?" She tried to think back to when she noticed her father acting strange. She had been so distracted she knew she hadn't noticed right away.
"After Christmas." Her eyebrows shot to the moon.
"You've been hiding her for over six months?" She threw her hands up and slapped them against her thighs. The girl stared at her in curiosity. Hopper had talked about her frequently. She was in pain, Eleven could see the anguish on her face.
"She had no place else to go. I couldn't let them get her." Ruby shook her head.
"So, you let Steve jump in to take care of me when I was falling apart and fucking traumatized while you were playing Daddy to a new daughter?" She didn't want to feel jealous, it felt so fucking childish. She didn't want the girl to be back in the hands of the men that had kept her behind lock and key to do their bidding. She felt hurt and abandoned. Just like Diane had abandoned her.
"Ruby...Owens told me to let you dictate how things went. You kept me at arms length and leaned into Steve. I knew he had been there with you in that house and you trusted him. He protected you. I know I can trust him. Owens promised me you'd come back to me when you were ready. Then, I found El trying to survive on her own. I didn't want to put one more thing on your plate." Ruby stopped her pacing to stare at him.
"Oh bullshit! You have been lying to me for months...months, to everyone. Mike is devastated that she is gone. You're keeping her locked up here. What kind of life is this for her?" She looked at the girls curly hair that was finally growing in. As mad as she was at her father, she felt a need to protect her. To fight for her. She deserved freedom.
"Until Owens and his gang get the hell out of Hawkins Lab, it's not safe. Ruby, you can come stay here now that you know." Hopper thought she would be happy to join them. That hope was short lived. She closed her eyes and huffed out a breath.
"No I can't! I have to be at home so I can check in on Dustin for Mrs. Henderson. He depends on me. Even though he wants to pretend he hates it, he actually needs me. I have....I have Steve!" Tears sprang to her eyes. The way she said she had Steve wasn't lost on him. He may trust Steve Harrington with his daughter's life, but he knew in that moment he would eventually have to trust him with her heart. In the meantime, her rage continued to fill up the cabin.
"You think he wouldn't notice if I stopped living in our house? Not to mention that someone else will notice no one is at our house? Hawkins is like the size of a thimble. Everyone notices everything. I have to keep up the status quo. Otherwise she could be in more danger. Do you think Hawkins Lab doesn't keep an eye on me when I leave there? Steve is terrified that some day they won't let me leave. They're afraid I'm going to tell the actual truth. They want to have heads up if they need to do damage control. They would follow me here! She would be in even more danger." Ruby started pacing and was chewing on her thumb. He knew she was right.
"Ruby...you can't tell Dustin. The boys will blow her cover and you absolutely cannot tell Steve." She continued to pace while chewing on her thumb all while glaring at him.
"I know that! It's bad enough I have to lie to my boyfriend. Now I have to lie to Steve, to Nancy, to Dustin? I don't lie to Steve, ever. Did you even think of me at all when you made this decision?" She didn't need his answer to know that he hadn't.
"Ruby..." she held her hand up.
"Just..don't. I don't want to hear it. I'm going home. I can't even stand to be in the same room as you right now. Which works for you in this situation. I'm sure I'll see you at some point in the next couple of weeks. She slammed the door behind her. Eleven stared at Hopper with a pointed look. She didn't understand a lot, but she understood that Ruby was hurt.
"You fix it." He looked at Eleven.
"Yeah kid...I'll fix it. Not tonight, tomorrow. If you're going to be in this family, you have to learn now that Ruby needs a beat to be angry. You give her time." She crossed her arms.
"You give too much time." Hopper closed his eyes and took a deep breath halfway between exhaustion and exasperation.
"Eat your dinner." He pointed to the table. He had to find a way to fix it.
Ruby felt terrible for arguing in front of the girl. She didn't deserve to feel bad about herself, but Ruby was angry. Sometimes, she couldn't see through the red haze until after. If her father had told her from the beginning, she could have come out with a better game plan. Something, anything better than a constant barrage of lies. In that moment, she hated her father. She had never felt that way before. At the same time, she didn't feel that way at all. He had saved her.
When she got into her car, she let out a scream that also sounded like a cry. This nightmare would never be over. She would always be forced to lie to someone. What bothered her the most were the lies from her father. Their relationship was strong because there were never any lies between the two of them. Not real lies. The white lies she told him about Steve were stupid, they didn't matter. This...this mattered. When it came to the things that mattered the most, they were always 100% honest with each other.
She told him if she planned on having a drink at a party and didn't drive. He wasn't crazy about it; but so long as it didn't get out of hand, he went along with it. He rather that she tell him than try to hide its She made sure to always have a designated driver and left before anything had gotten out of hand. She told her father everything. In turn, he trusted her and her judgment. He never kept secrets from her. He was always truthful, until now.
She never second guessed him. As much as he loved to give Steve a hard time, she knew her father liked him. Steve, despite his flaws, cared very much for his daughter. Hopper knew that Steve Harrington would take a bullet for his daughter. He proved it when he went back to protect her from a faceless monster instead of running. He also had stepped up in taking care of Ruby because Steve was the only one she trusted to bare her soul to. Hopper would always be grateful for Steve Harrington, as much as he hated to admit it.
For the first time ever, Ruby felt isolated and alone because there was not a single soul that she could tell. She wanted to immediately drive to Steve and confess everything and let him hold her while she sobbed. It was in that moment that she finally realized why she was struggling so much. She had finally encountered something she couldn't control. Everything that had happened last November, she couldn't steer it in the right direction. It all made sense in that moment. She never stepped into a situation that she couldn’t handle. She had been shoved into this and this was wild and unpredictable.
Ruby felt the guilt seeping into her soul. That poor child probably thought Ruby had a problem with her. That couldn't be further from the truth. She was just so incredibly hurt by how her father handled it. Her feeling of being replaced was not her fault. That was her own insecurity. She was always afraid that without Sara, she wouldn't be enough.
All Ruby wanted to do was drive to Steve's house and let him hold her while she cried. Feel his chin on the top of her head. His whispers that he had her and that she would be okay. It was a damn good thing he wasn't home and was out with Nancy because that was the only thing stopping her from doing it.
Instead, she went home to her empty house. She felt the isolation closing around her. When she got into the house she decided to do something that would show the girl that it wasn't her fault. She went into her room and pulled a bin from out of her closet and started to go through all of the clothing she had out outgrown. She started making a pile for the girl. Everything she had saved was in excellent condition. Ruby couldn't even point to why she hadn't given the clothes away yet. Maybe she knew deep down she would need them later on down the road.
Once she had gone through all of her clothing and had a decent pile set aside, she started looking around her room. She had no idea what she liked to do. She had to be bored in that cabin all day. Ruby found a brand new sketch book in her desk and a box of new colored pencils. Drawing was universal. She had no idea where she fell intellectually. She had a ton of books she could bring her. Ruby would have to find out. In the meantime, she found puzzles, anything that could help fill her days.
Next, she found some nice quilts she hoped would make her feel at home. She also included a few basically new stuffed animals as well. Anything she had that would make her room look like it belonged to an almost thirteen year old girl.
The girl...that was how Ruby thought of her. It seemed wrong to call her Eleven. She was so much more than the number that was assigned to her. Thinking of her as "the girl" wasn't much better. In Ruby's mind, it was the better alternative. Her mind wandered to Hawkins Lab. What had happened to the ten children that came before her? Were there any after her?
Ruby imagined the trauma she went through was immense. The idea of a child suffering like that, being tested and treating like a science experiment was something that was hard for her to fathom. Ruby wanted to help ensure her happiness now that she was free. Though being confined to a cabin didn't scream freedom, she would make it work.
She packed the bin into her car. Her first stop in the morning would be to go to the grocery store to get her some real food besides frozen waffles and TV dinners. The girl deserved to live. Ruby had decided to do whatever she could to give her a life that she deserved.
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Ruby had forgotten about the trip wire, which now made a lot of sense. She had brought the couple of grocery bags to the front porch first. Now she was trying to maneuver the bin over. She had to drag it and there was no way she was going to be able to lift it over the wire and it certainly wasn't going to slide underneath it.
She stood there for a moment trying to figure out how she was going to get the bin into the cabin when it lifted itself off the ground and went towards the cabin. By the time Ruby realized what was happening, she was in the doorway, wiping the blood from her nose.
Ruby stepped over the trip wire and walked up to the front porch and picked up the grocery bags now that the bin was already inside. She followed Eleven into the cabin. The sound of the locks made her jump. Eleven watched her with curiosity.
"I wanted to bring you some things to have. My dad probably isn't great at picking out clothes or things that you might like to do. Also, you should probably eat more than TV dinners." Ruby unpacked the groceries into the refrigerator.
"You are mad." Eleven noted. Ruby sighed and turned to her.
"Yes, but not at you. You didn't do anything wrong. My dad...the lies. It's complicated. I am glad that you're safe though." After dragging the bin over to where she was sitting, Ruby took a seat in her father's chair.
"Did you tell?" Ruby could hear the nervousness in the girls voice. She shook her head.
"No, I didn't tell anyone. I wouldn't do that." Eleven seemed to relax. She tentatively pulled the cover off of the bin and started looking through what Ruby brought her.
"You draw." Eleven said it as a statement, not a question as she held up the sketch book and colored pencils.
"Yes, I do. How did you know that?" Eleven smiled.
"Hop told me. He told me about you." Ruby tried to not let that melt the ice around her heart. She wasn't going to let him off the hook that easy.
"So, what do I call you?" Ruby didn't want to keep referring to her as "the girl."
"El. That's what Mike called me." Ruby nodded.
"Well, El, if there is anything you need? I can get it for you. I can come out to see you. I just have to be careful to make sure no one notices." Ruby understood why her father had done what he did. There was something about her that made Ruby want to protect her too.
"Thank you." El said quietly. She couldn't even begin to think of what she needed.
"Okay, if you're going to live here...you're going to actually live here." Ruby got to work on El's bedroom.
She made some mental note if what she could bring to El to make it more like a home. She definitely was going to bring some curtains and throws for the couches to warm the place up. She looked at the room her father had been using and she felt a pang. As much as she understood what he was doing, she still felt replaced. She still felt broken. Then, she felt like she couldn't breathe for a moment. She took a few seconds to ground herself. She took a look at her watch, she was going to be late to meet Steve.
"Okay El, I have to go meet Steve." She went and grabbed her purse and keys.
"Steve? You have Steve." She echoed her words from the night before, her head ticked to the side.
Ruby had forgotten, she didn't meet Steve. El had been gone when he showed up to the Byers house. She reached into her bag and pulled out her small, slightly tattered sketchbook. The one she never let anyone see.
Inside, there were sketches of her father, of Dustin and the rest of the boys, of Nancy and Jason. Most of all, there were sketches of Steve at different stages in their lives. So many sketches of Steve, a lifetimes worth. El was safe. She wouldn't feel embarrassed showing her. So she did. She pointed out who each person was if El didn't know them. This sketch book was void of loss. She had stopped drawing her mother, Sara and Diane a long time ago.
"Listen...no one else has ever seen what is in this book. It's private." El nodded earnestly.
"You love him." Eleven flipped through multitude of Steve portraits. Ruby had no idea how she even knew what love meant, but El had her finger on the pulse of who Ruby was quickly.
"Not like that. He's just my friend. My best friend. Listen, I really have to go." Eleven nodded.
"Can I keep this, until tomorrow?" Ruby paused for a moment.
"Yeah...okay. I'll see you tomorrow." Ruby felt like she was leaving a piece of herself behind.
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Ruby had managed to not tell Steve anything. He had been worried when she was late, she was never late. She had convinced him she had just simply lost track of time. The lies tasted bitter in her mouth. When she had gotten home, her father had been waiting for her. He wasn't going to let her avoid the conversation.
"Ruby, we have to talk about this!" Hopper was standing in the living room of their house.
"There's nothing to talk about. It's fine. I get it." She tried to walk past him to go to her room but he gently grabbed her by her arm.
"I shouldn't have listened to Owens and given you so much space. I just...I didn't know what to do, okay? It seemed like you didn't need me and I didn't want to mess with you and how you were dealing. Then I found El, and I couldn't put that burden on you. You've had enough burdens put on you." Ruby blinked back tears.
"You know...I was always afraid I wasn't going to be enough. Then, for a while, once we moved here I was able to convince myself that I was. I'm just still that broken little girl from New York who lost both of her moms and her sister. The little girl that her father was stuck with. The one he didn't plan for." Hopper closed his eyes for a moment and then pulled his daughter into a crushing hug. She she struggled at first but then he felt her start sobbing. The gravity of everything that had been weighing on her finally came crashing down on the both of them.
"Ruby Elizabeth Hopper...how in the hell could you ever think that? It's true, you weren't planned, but you were the best surprise of my life. You...you kept me going. Do you hear me? You gave me a reason to get out of bed every day. I don't know where I would be without you. Don't you ever say that you're not enough." He held her tighter than he had in a long time.
"Daddy...I'm sorry." Jim Hopper felt his heart shatter.
He couldn't remember the last time she called him Daddy. It was probably before Diane left. Something in his daughter had hardened that day. In that moment he realized his mistake. Her mother, through no fault of her own, left her. Her stepmother left her. Then, she went through something so traumatic even his brain had a hard time accepting it and instead of pulling her close, he stayed away. In her mind, it must have felt like she lost another parent. Had he known how she felt, he never would have let any space between them.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. This is on me, its my fault. I should've handled this differently. I'm the one that is sorry. I should have known better. Instead of giving you room to breath, it should have been you, me and that damn Harrington kid." He felt her laugh. against him.
"You can't call him that! He saved my life." He heard her protest. It made him laugh too.
"I know, I know. Can you give your old man another chance to make this right? To figure this out?" He created enough space between him and his daughter to be able to see her face and wipe her tears. He tucked some of her wavy hair behind her ear and gave her a tight smile.
"Yeah. I just...I never stopped needing you. I just...didn't want to be a burden to you." He shook his head.
"You are not a burden. You are my daughter, you will never be a burden." He kissed her forehead. And then rested his cheek on the top of her head. They stayed like that for a long time. Long after her tears dried, she finally trusted her voice.
"We need to come up with a better system. People are going to start noticing if you're never here and I cannot move into the cabin. For one, it's not big enough and two, three and four? Steve, Dustin and Jason." Hopper sighed and felt okay releasing his daughter.
"I know. I hate leaving El alone." He admitted. "But I hate not being with you too." Ruby plopped down on tbe couch.
"I can find time to visit her during the day until school starts. Then I'll have to be more strategic." Hopper felt the corner of his mouth tick up.
"You made quite the impression on her. She is glued to your sketch book, but would not let me see it because you told her you've never shown that to anyone else." Ruby met his eyes.
"Well, she's not judgmental." She shrugged it off. Secretly, she was kind of thrilled she had made a positive impression. It was the first time she felt good about something in a long time.
"I know it's not ideal long term, but we will take it one day at a time. She doesn't have anyone else that knows how to protect her." Ruby nodded.
"I know Dad. I have thought about her every single day since that night in November. Regardless of how messy things got between you and me? I'm glad she had you." She gave her dad a tentative smile.
"Well, thanks to you, she'll be more fashionable." Ruby shook her head and laughed.
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Ruby felt like a fraud. All she was doing was lying. She was lying to Steve, Nancy, Dustin, Lucas and Mike about Eleven. Mike was the one that was killing her the most. She knew hey had connected. Eleven missed him just as much. At least Ruby could tell her about him; Mike was in the dark. She hated herself for it but the beautiful girl infront of her was worth protecting.
It was the last day of summer vacation. Ruby had come over to spend her last free day with El. Jason was at practice, Steve and Nancy were off doing something...it gave Ruby plenty of time to be with the girl that was starting to feel like a sister. Ruby had spent the last couple of weeks teaching El in a more formal way than her father. She knew a lot more than Ruby had anticipated.
Today was not for teaching. Today was for Ruby to let El help her pick out her first day of school outfit. Truth be told, Ruby didn't really care, but El did. She hated that she couldn't just sign her ups for middle school. She deserved to go to school with Mike and her friends. To be just a girl and not a weapon.
She and El had decided on a pair of black shorts that were almost too short, a black and white striped t-shirt that was just long enough to not be considered a crop top and a hot pink belt along with a denim jacket. She would finish it off with a pair of black high top sneakers.
El had enjoyed her fashion show. Ruby knew that she was really her only chance at a peak of Hawkins. They talked about Mike and the boys. Ruby filled her in on as much as she knew. She made sure she paid better attention to what Dustin was saying. She also would pop in on them when visiting Nancy. She thought they would think she was annoying, but they welcomed her visits. It was lucky that she was close to Dustin otherwise Steve would suspect something was going on.
Another topic of conversation that took up a large chunk of their time together was Steve. El didn't have a lot of interest in Jason. She wanted to know about the boy of many portraits. She shuddered to think what anyone else would say if they saw that sketch book.
"El, if I tell you this, you cannot tell my dad." Ruby sighed.
"But friends don't lie." Ruby could kill Mike for telling her that.
"Okay but he's not a friend, he is a parent and there are some things you keep to yourself. Friends and sisters keep each other's secrets no matter what." Eleven stared at her intently.
"Sisters?" Ruby hadn't even realized she said it. She reached out and took Eleven's hand.
"Yeah, sisters." When she squeezed her hand, she squeezed back.
"I won't tell him." Ruby could tell by her resolve she wouldn't.
"Sometimes, when I have really bad nightmares, Steve sneaks in my window to sleep. I can't tell Jason anything that happened, so Steve is the one I can rely on." El was giving her a hard stare.
"You love him." She insisted.
"No, I love Jason. Steve is my best friend. It's different." Ruby defended herself again.
"You draw him many times. You talk about him. You love him. I can see it." Ruby's brow knitted together.
"You're going to make me regret showing you that sketch book. Also, you ask about him." El laughed a little bit.
Ruby's keys were sitting on the floor next to her. Eleven picked them up and fingered the rabbit's foot.
"What is this?" Eleven was curious.
"It's a rabbit's foot. They're supposed to be a good luck charm, I have no idea why. Pink is my favorite color. Steve got it for me, it's an inside joke." Now El looked confused.
"Inside joke?" Ruby smiled.
"Yeah. It's a joke that is between two people or a group of friends that only they understand. They call my dad Hop. Steve calls me Hopps. Bunnies...they hop." Ruby shook her head.
"He is funny." El had a grin on her face.
"Yes, yes he is. Listen, starting tomorrow I won't be able to come over as often or stay as long. I won't know exactly when I'll be able to come. But I will come every single chance that I get. I can radio you when I'm alone after school and Dad is working. We will figure it out. I just don't want you to worry or think I forgot about you." Eleven sighed. She knew this was coming.
She had enjoyed having Ruby visit her basically every day, except Saturdays when Jason was home. Ruby tried to bring her things a couple of times a week. Sometimes on Fridays she would cook El and her father dinner so they weren't eating frozen dinners or waffles. Though there was an insane amount of waffles consumed in that cabin.
"I will miss you." El said quietly.
"I'll miss you too. I wish I knew when they would be clearing out of Hawkins Lab. I know this has been hard." Ruby wanted to take her to the movies and shopping. She deserved to do all of those things.
"Hop says soon." Ruby nodded. She knew that her father had no idea of when soon would be. Ruby wasn't going to tell her that.
"I know, soon." Ruby sighed. She pulled out her nail polish. She promised to paint El's nails before she left.
When she pulled into the driveway of her house, she had planned on putting her clothes away and then calling Jason, but he was sitting on her front porch. His eyes were simmering. He stood when she got out of her car.
"I've been trying to call you all afternoon." He crossed his arms. His curls were wild in the slight wind that was blowing through Hawkins.
"I was running errands Jay. I told you I'd call you." She opened her back door. Thankful he hadn't seen what she had bought for back to school clothes and was doubly thankful she had the bag in her car.
"I figured you'd call me after 2pm when practice got out. It's almost 4pm now. I didn't see you in town." Ruby's face turned stern.
"We didn't have plans for a specific time Jason. We must have just missed each other." She didn't like that he had gone looking for her. He had been different since going away for the soccer camp.
"Right. You were with him, weren't you?" Her eyes narrowed.
"With who? Steve?" He laughed sardonically.
"Who else would you be with? He's the one you're always whispering with, spending your free time with. You stop talking when I enter a room. I know you think I don't notice, but I do." Ruby's groaned, throwing her head back.
"I was NOT with Steve. He and Nancy have a whole day planned. I don't even know where they are. You're being paranoid. Steve is my best friend, that is it. I'm in a relationship with you. Also, he's with Nancy who is also my friend. I don't really appreciate you accusing me of cheating. I would NEVER. If I wanted to be with someone else, I wouldn't be with you." She wasn't quite yelling, but her voice was raised. She was glad Dustin was at Mike's and wasn't around to hear this.
"You think my teammates didn't see you two around this summer? You spent plenty of time with him alone. Walking around arm in arm. The way he looks at you. Do you think I'm dumb?” She closed her eyes while rolling them.
"Right now? Yeah kind of. It's kind of creepy that your friends are keeping track of me. Did they tell you about the times I was with Nancy or Dustin? I'm assuming no. You left me alone all summer. I spent my time with my friends. You knew Steve was my best friend when we got together. I'm not going to change the dynamics of our friendship because all of the sudden it's a problem.” He scoffed.
"No, it's always been a problem! I just didn't say anything. I'm the laughing stock of my team, you realize that right?" Ruby pinched the bridge of her nose. It was about his team. Always about the team.
"Well I'm sorry your buddies don't understand how to be just friends with a girl. I'm sure it's an anomaly. You're being ridiculous and it really isn't fair." They stared at each other, neither backing down.
"How would you feel if some girl was all over me all the time and I just brushed you off and said she was my friend?” Ruby threw her hands out.
"If she had been your only friend after you moved to Hawkins? If she understood how you felt after your mom died, then your sister died and then your stepmother left and she made you feel better? I would have zero problem with that. Everyone needs a person. Also, not for nothing. I would trust you." His face fell slightly.
"That's the problem Ruby. You are my person, but I'm not yours." Ruby's anger deflated a little bit.
"Jason, I love you." He swallowed.
"Just not as much as him." He sounded utterly defeated.
"That isn't true.” She protested. She couldn’t find the will to say that she didn’t love Steve and she hated herself for it.
"It is, but you just don't realize it yet. I gotta go. I need to get stuff ready for tomorrow" she stepped in front of him as he tried to walk to his car.
"We were going to get dinner and watch a movie." She was biting her bottom lip.
"I can't. I need time to think Rue. I'll see you at school tomorrow." He kissed her on the cheek and left her standing in her driveway alone with tears filled eyes.
She didn't know what to do. She did love him. She had been foolish to think that her closeness with Steve would never be an issue. She wasn't willing to give that up. Besides her father, Steve was the only constant in her life after Sara died and Diane left. He was the only one she could really talk to about what happened last fall. Even though Eleven knew, she hadn't been at the Byers' house.
She swiped the tears from her eyes and got the rest of her stuff out of her car. She had no idea how she was going to visit El, go to school full time, maintain her relationship and see her friends. How would she explain her absences?
She threw her bags on the floor of her bedroom and flopped down on her bed. She laid there staring at the ceiling. She couldn't stop thinking about what Jason said about her being his person. He had been right, Steve was her person. She just believed you could have more than one. Things likely would be simpler had he been around last fall. Wishing he had been there felt wrong. She didn't want anyone else to be traumatized. She continued to stare trying to figure out a solution to her El problem and her relationship problems, but she was coming up with nothing. All she knew was that she was going to be walking a very tight rope.
One of the things that hadn't change between Ruby and Steve was that they met in the parking lot first thing in the morning every day. Today, Nancy had rode in with Barb and Jason had driven himself. Occasionally, she would pick him up, her father particularly liked that Jason was willing to let her be the one that drove; and that was exactly what Ruby had told him. Today, however, he had to get to school early to speak with his coach. The soccer season was winding down, so Ruby wasn't sure what it was all about.
"Morning Hopps." Ruby grinned at him.
"Mr. Harrington...you haven't been waiting long have you?" She tilted her head to the side.
"No, I just got here a few minutes ago. You look tired." He was intently studying her face.
"Yeah, I couldn't sleep last night." She leaned against his car with him, drinking the coffee she had stopped to buy on her way in.
"Everything okay?" Concern lacing his voice.
"Yeah...just weird dreams." He watched her intently for a moment.
"You sure Rubes?" She looker at him and smiled. He hasn't called her that in a while.
"I'm sure. Thanks for checking though." They stood there silently for a while, it was the first time in weeks that the silence didn't hang awkwardly.
"I will always look out for you." Steve finally said. The statement had weight to it, like a swing set confession.
"Me too Steve. Always." When his pinky brushed against hers, she hated herself for feeling the familiar warmth that came with it. It was like a high she was always chasing. He was the only one to make her feel like that. She closed her eyes when she felt his pinky link with hers for a moment. It was something so simple, so small, yet it meant so much.
"Come on Hopps, you're going to be late for homeroom. Don't want to corrupt you at this point. You've almost made it to 17 after all." She audibly laughed.
"Listen, you still have time. We have the rest of this year and next year." Steve shook his head.
"Your father would never let that happen." Out of habit, he put his hand on her back. He didn't yank it away. He relished in the comfort of it. He missed her. He missed it being just the two of them. He would be lying if he said he didn't really like Nancy, she was special. He just didn't know how to differentiate his feelings.
"My father likes you more than he lets on. Even if you won't believe me." He shook his head. He let his hand drop when they got close to the building.
"Yeah, yeah." He muttered as they made their way into the school.
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Ruby looked around the lunch room for Jason. She hadn't seen him all morning. His meeting with his coach must have ran long and they didn't have history until later in the day.
"Aww, where's your man?" Carol asked. Ruby had been much better at tolerating her and Tommy, maybe it was the distraction that Jason provided. To be fair, Tommy behaved himself when Jason was around. Carol must have been excited to mess with her since Steve also hadn't sat down yet.
"He's right here." He sat down and kissed Ruby on the cheek. "Hey Rue." He said to only her.
"Everything okay with your coach Jay?" He smiled, which set her at ease.
"Yeah, really good. We'll talk about it later." He tried to wave it off as if it was nothing, but she could see the excitement in his eyes. He just didn't want to share it with Tommy and Carol.
"Oh, your majesty, I was worried." Ruby joked as Steve sat down.
"Thanks for your concern Hopps." He said in a deadpanned voice. She grinned.
"Hey...where's the princess?" Tommy asked, it wasn't in the fun loving way that Ruby referred to Steve. It was meant as an insult.
"Man, don't call her that." Jason looked Tommy dead in his eyes. He knew Ruby hated when he called her that. Steve cleared his voice. Before Tommy could retort, Nancy and a hesitant Barb took a seat. Ruby had made some headway in the Barb department. She seemed to trust that she really wanted to be friends with her.
"Hey ladies." Steve brightened up when Nancy sat down.
The rest of lunch went by as normal. Ruby wanted to get up so she and Jason could talk, she was dying to know what he was so excited about. They didn't get a chance to talk though, he promised after history.
The rest is the day dragged by until 8th period. Jason still had the exhilarated look in his eyes. He was hard to not look at him during class when he had that smile on his face. He had such a nice smile. As they walked out of class, he put his arm around her neck.
"Blow off 9th period." He whispered in her ear. She laughed.
"You know, my father thinks you won't corrupt me" Her laugh slowly faded when she saw her father standing in the hallway.
"Speak of the Devil...why is your dad here?" Jason asked, slowly removing his arm from her.
"Dad?" Hopper turned when he heard his daughter's voice.
"Ruby, hey..." Ruby studied the concern on her father's face.
"What happened?" Hopper swallowed.
"How well do you know Will Byers?" Ruby's face laced with confusion.
"I mean, I know him. Why?" Hopper didn't want to drag her into this, but he didn't know what he was looking at.
"Would he run away?" Ruby stared at him.
"Will? Never. What happened?" She repeated, crossing her arms. Hopper sighed.
"He's missing. Joyce says he never came home." Ruby felt her stomach drop.
"What?" It was more to herself. She felt Jason's hand on her shoulder.
"Listen, I know you two were going to hang out today, but Ruby I need a favor." She tilted her head, waiting for him to continue. "I need you to keep an eye on Dustin until his mom gets home. I need to know he's not going to be out trying to find Will. We don't know what this is yet and I don’t need them getting mixed up in it." Ruby had been ready to fight him, but that idea immediately fled from her mind.
"Oh..Dustin...of course. Even if he wouldn't go out, I don't want him to be alone." Ruby's hand covered her mouth as if she could hide the horror of the situation.
"I'll help, keep him distracted." Jason offered. Hopper nodded.
"I'll drive him home from school." Ruby added.
"Great. Radio me when he's with his mom." Ruby nodded. Her father had set up their house so he could reach her in case of an emergency while he was at work. The only emergency that ever popped up was he was running late.
"Thanks kid. Also, the two of you behave or I'll send Flo to babysit you." He looked between the two of them. "I'll let you know when I find him." The idea of skipping 9th period and Jason's news faded as his figure retreated down the hallway.
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"Hey there Superstar!" Ruby called out to Dustin while he, Mike and Lucas walked towards their bikes.
"I don't need you to watch me. You can go." He huffed.
"No can do...Chief's orders. Bike in the trunk." She demanded. Dustin rolled his eyes but did as he was told.
"You two, go straight home." She pointed between Mike and Lucas.
"You're not our babysitter." Lucas sassed.
"Don't make me get out of this car Sinclair...or call both of your mothers. Seriously, you're going to make it harder on the police." She watched as Mike and Lucas muttered what were likely insults hurled at her.
"God, when did you become such a narc?" Dustin's attitude was dialed up.
"When your friend went missing and we don't know why. Seatbelt." She decided to ignore his tone.
"Obviously..." Dustin muttered.
"Listen...don't give me attitude. My dad asked a favor, I said yes. Would you rather hang out with me and Jason or have your mom home from work early and freaking out?" She raised her eyebrow. Dustin sighed.
"Yeah, okay." Ruby waved to Mike and Lucas as she drove by them.
"Listen. I get it. Your mom is over protective-" Dustin interrupted her.
"Overbearing is more like it." Ruby shook her head.
"Am I really the person you want to be complaining to about an overbearing parent?" Dustin started laughing.
"Alright, good point." He conceded.
"Look, I'm not here to baby you. I just know that I am your best option. Besides...you're like my little brother. I will always look out for you. Just like I know you look out for me." Dustin was quiet for a moment.
"Like when Steve is a jerk." He wasn't bragging. He wasn't even trying to insult Steve.
"Like when Steve was being a jerk. I know my dad. Yeah, he wants to make sure you guys don't get in the way...but he also doesn't want to take any chances. He wants you guys to be safe." Dustin didn't say anything. It was like she could hear him thinking. She gave him space to sit with his thoughts.
When they pulled into the driveway, Jason was there waiting for him. Dustin pulled his bike out of Ruby's trunk. She watched him closely. He wasn't ready to talk about Will and she wasn't going to push him. For the next two hours until Dustin's mom got home from work, she and Jason would distract him.
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Ruby flopped down on her couch after Dustin left. Jason had spent the two hours trying to teach Dustin and unfortunately her, how to dribble a soccer ball.
"Well, thanks for affirming that I am not at all athletic. My ego really needed to be taken down a notch further." Jason laughed. He had barely broken a sweat. Ruby felt like she ran a marathon.
"You're too hard on yourself." He handed her a water and sat down next to her. "I've seen worse in gym class"
"Well you really know how to lift a girls spirits." She grinned, and took a sip of her water. "Oh my god...I am the worst girlfriend."
"What? You are not." He looked at her like she was crazy.
"Your news, from your coach. After my dad showed up I totally forgot about it!" Jason smiled at her.
"You were a little distracted. It's not even that big of a deal. There's a couple of colleges interested in me. They will be scouting next season, so I really have to train in the off season and this summer." He waived her off.
"That is a big deal. Jason, that's amazing!" She beamed.
"I mean...getting to play in college was always ideal, but to be recruited for it is a whole different level." He let his excitement show.
"I'm really proud of you." She took his hand. As he went to lean in to kiss her, the sound of her father's voice from the radio came in.
"Ruby? Are you there?" She gave Jason an apologetic look and she went over to the radio.
"I'm here. Did you find Will?" Her voice was filled with hope.
"No. Her father answered." Jason came up to her and slid his hand over her shoulder.
"Now what?" Emotion laced through ber voice.
"We're putting together a search party." Ruby closed her eyes.
"I can come help." She was determined to make sure Dustin didn't lose his friend.
"No. I want you to stay home." Her father denied her.
"Dad, I'm not a child. I can manage a flashlight." She rolled her eyes.
"I...I know. It's not you, it's me. I know that, but I can't do my job the right way when I'm worried if you're okay. We don't know what happened to Will. Knowing you're home and safe will give me peace of mind. Ruby, please, for just this once, don't argue with me." She chewed on her lip for a moment.
"Jason, I'm expecting you to stay with my daughter, to make sure she stays safe. Don't make me regret leaving you alone with her." Her father warned, which earned him another eye roll. Jason took the radio from Ruby.
"I understand sir. You can trust me." Ruby had to admit, her father never shook his confidence.
"Thank you. Ruby, I'll be in touch." She swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Stay safe Dad." That was the only thing that was left to say.
"I will baby, I'll see you soon." When she heard the radio click, she knew he was gone.
Ruby stared off into the distance for a moment, trying to think of what could have happened to Will. The excitement that had filled her only moments ago had drained out of her. There was plenty of time to be excited about the future and plans, but she couldn't think about that if there was a chance that a young innocent kid had their future taken. It wasn't cancer, but a life stolen was a life stolen. She wiped a tear from her eye. She didn't want Jason to see her cry, but the damn tears wouldn't stop coming. The loss of innocence was something all too familiar to her.
Jason pulled her close, without asking any questions. He knew that she was close with Dustin, but he didn't expect this big of a reaction for one of his friends. He ran his hand over the back of her hair a few times. Eventually she pulled away, wiping the final tears from her eyes.
"God, I'm sorry." She was flustered.
"What do you have to be sorry for? Having feelings? Rue...come on. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” Deep concern was written all over his face.
The truth was, she didn't talk about Sara, ever. She and her father never talked about Sara. For them, there wasn't much left to say. It hurt too much. For her father he lost not only his child, but his wife. The only person that she had confided in about Sara was Steve. On her birthday, they would eat cupcakes together. It was just something small to commemorate her.
"It's just...when a kid goes missing...the likelihood of finding them alive is not great. Will didn't run away. From what I know, his dad is a deadbeat. It means something happened to him. Which is terrible enough. A kid loosing their life? It kind of hits home..." her voice trailed off.
Jason followed her to the couch. They had talked about a lot of things, but he knew she was holding something back. He sat down next to her and gave her a moment. He didn't need to ask why. He knew she was going to tell him. She had told him about her mom early on. It was an obvious absence in her life, but the loss of her sister was different.
For over and hour, Jason didn't think he uttered a word as Ruby told him about Sara. How happy she had been in New York until her life started falling apart. She lost her mother, watched her sister slowly wither away. Then, she lost Diane and she had effectively lost the father she had known. He was harder now. He didn't love her any less, but he was guarded.
"I'm sorry, I know that was a lot." She wiped more tears from her face. She hated crying infront of people. She avoided it at all costs. The only person other than her father that had seen her cry was Steve.
Steve had held her when she cried over Sara, over Diane and over her father. He had made fun of her when she cried at sappy movies, but he always wiped her tears regardless. Part of her felt like she was betraying him. She chastised that part of herself so she could focus on Jason.
"Stop apologizing." He wipes some of her tears away. Somehow, to her, this was a bigger deal than loosing her virginity to him. It was a different kind of intimacy. "I knew you had something in your past that was painful, I'm just grateful you were willing to share it with me." She stared at him, wonder struck.
"How on Earth did you know that?" It was his turn to get flustered.
"Because I've had a crush on you since 7th grade and I paid a lot of attention to you, trying to get you to pay attention to me. You carried a sadness with you, if only peaked out when you thought no one was paying attention." This revelation sent her reeling.
"You're lying. You're so popular and you could have any girl you wanted." He shook his head.
"You really are blind. If you had ever looked up from your sketch book or away from Steve Harrington, you would have seen it." That stung a little.
"I've told you a million times. There was nothing and is nothing between me and Steve." His face was contrite.
"I shouldn't have said it like that. He was just the only one you were willing to talk to." She decided to let it go and instead explain.
"Steve was a lonely kid like I was. He is an only child and his dad is an asshole. His mom isn't bad, but doesn't really stand up for him. I think he saw that same loneliness in me and we bonded. He's just a better salesman. I was too afraid to let anyone else in. I was afraid of having to give up friends again, or just being hurt. I know no one understands our friendship. That never bothered me. But he and I were never more than friends." That was the truth. Regardless of what happened the last night of their summer vacation, they never moved past being friends.
"What made you change your mind this year and let me in? You let Nancy and Barb in too." She was glad he didn't push any further on her relationship with Steve.
"I guess maybe some of the pain started to fade. I just wanted more. I guess I decided to look up." He put his arm around her and kissed her temple.
"Well I'm really glad you did."
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"Hopps...hey Hopps" Steve snapped his fingers infront of her face. She had been zoning out all of lunch.
"Sorry...what?" Steve rolled his eyes.
"What is with you today? I said...my house tonight, no parents. Nancy, Barb, Carol, Tommy, you and Jason." He tried not to show his dislike of her boyfriend. He had no reason not to like him. Quite the contrary, he treated Ruby very well.
"You think your dad will let you Rue?" His nickname for her also grated on his nerves.
"Well, I told him today that I stayed home yesterday to appease his fatherly worry, but that I wasn't hiding in the house. I could promise not to go out alone until they figure out what happened to Will. But it could take a long time..." Steve could see the worry on her face, he wanted to comfort her, but it didn't feel right in the moment. Not with Nancy there and Jason's arm around her.
"That's awesome. It's a plan." He was careful not to say date.
"Yeah...I could use a drink or two if I'm being honest" she leaned back into Jason.
"On a Tuesday?" Barb was incredulous.
"Yeah...it's not like I'm getting drunk." Ruby really wished Barb would loosen up a bit.
"Such a rebel." Jason grinned.
"Oh yeah...I'm totally an after school special waiting to happen...especially with my 3.8 GPA." Steve grinned.
"I'm disappointed. I was expecting a 4.0 Ruby Elizabeth Hopper." She laughed.
"WOW... full naming me is just... you sound like my dad." Steve grabbed his chest.
"You wound me. To quote, well, you...rude." Jason cleared his throat. The moment between Steve and Ruby faded quickly.
"Nance, let me know if you need me to get you out. I know with Mike being friends with Will, your mom is probably paranoid. Perks of being the Chief's daughter. I'm not ashamed to use them." Nancy smiled.
"I'll let you know if I can't figure it out." Ruby looked to Barb.
"I'm glad you're coming." Her face knitted together.
"Really?" Ruby looked a little hurt. She had been trying really hard and every time she thought she broke through, Barb put up a wall.
"Yes Barb, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I'm not a bully." Ruby made sure not to look at Carol or Tommy. She didn't want to start a fight today.
"You want to go for a walk if you're done?" Jason nudged her. It was chilly, but she had his jacket on. So she nodded.
"See you guys tonight. And Steve, don't get crappy drinks. That beer last time got me really drunk." She scrunched up her nose.
"Because you drink liquor, not beer. Also, you pounded four of them." She tried to stop her face from turning red. It gave him some satisfaction knowing she still remembered that night, he certainly would never forget it.
"I got you Rue. I know where my parents hide the good stuff. I can snag something." Ruby smiled at him.
"See Steve, he gives me solutions." She pointed at him.
"Is he giving you anything else?" Carol added in, looking for ammo to use at a different date.
"Yes Carol, orgasms come with the deluxe dating package. Maybe you should upgrade." Steve choked on his drink while Nancy and Barb looked at her with reverence. It was Jason's turn to blush.
"I'm going to need to bleach my ears." Steve complained.
"Do you really want to go there with me Harrington?" She challenged.
"Nope. I'm good, carry on." He held his hands up in defeat.
"Alright then, see you delinquents later" Steve watched her walk away, Jason's arm around her waist, jealousy still blooming. He tried to kill it by focusing on Nancy.
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"Man...making fun of Tommy and Carol is so much more fun when you're around. I think Tommy is scared of you. That hyena knows better than to try and fight me." Jason let out an audible laugh.
"Hyena...that's good." He loved watching her stand up for herself and for others.
"Sorry if I embarrassed you. But making sure Tommy knows he has a small penis and Carol probably can't feel it is tantamount to my take down. Your talent just makes it all the better." He pulled her into an abandoned alcove. His hot lips pressed against her mouth.
"Mr. Calloway...who is the rebel now?" He could feel her smile when he kissed her again. Her smiles faded and she moaned ever so slightly into his mouth..
"it's just a preview of coming attractions." He felt her wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head on his chest.
"You shut Harrington down too." He pointed out.
"Well, when you act as someone's wing woman...you hear a lot of things." She fake gagged.
"Okay, don't get mad when I ask this. I believe you when you say there is nothing between you two. But did you guys ever hook up?" It was a fair question.
"Well not like that. When we were kids, we were each other's first kisses. Not because we liked each other, but because we trusted each other and our friendship. We wanted to get the first time jitters out. Looking back now, it was cute." She shook her head at the memory. She refused to tell him about that night a few months ago. That was something she wasn't willing to admit to or discuss with anyone.
She left out the fact that it was one of her favorite memories of her and Steve's. She wouldn't admit that to anybody either. Jason was quiet for a moment but laced his fingers with Ruby's.
"I feel like I can't compete." Ruby tilted her head.
"Can't compete with what?" There was no irritation in her voice. She genuinely didn't know what he was talking about.
"You and Steve have history and inside jokes and he knows everything about you." Ruby didn't think Jason had anything to feel insecure about. Yet, she knew how easy it was to feel that way. She brushed a curl off of his forehead when he looked down.
"You know, when you're on the field and the sun hits your hair in a certain angle, it looks bluish black. I love it. The grey in your eyes, it reminds me of summers in Long Beach when my mom was still alive. My favorite days were when there were thunder storms. It was the sound of the thunder crashing against the waves that I liked. Your eyes are the same color the sky would turn. You aren't afraid of my dad. You listen to Dustin ramble about whatever it is that he rambles about. Not once do you get irritated. You make me feel wanted and that I am worth something. There's no competing with that." His eyes flicked to hers, not quite sure he believed her. He couldn't help but smile.
"I should get you to class." He kissed her forehead and then lightly on the lips. He always made her feel light headed when he did that.
"Okay." She kissed him quickly one more time and let him lead her down the hall to finish the rest of the school day.
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Ruby's back was resting against Jason's torso as they shared one of the lounge seats by Steve's pool. She felt a comfortable buzz. He had rested his forehead on her shoulder and she was twisting one of his curls around her forefinger.
As Jason promised, he had snagged some vodka from his parents. It was this new citrusy vodka that mixed well with the juice they had paired it with.
Steve had been right, she rarely drank beer, so it hit her harder than a mixed drink would. It seemed crazy to her that it worked that way. Sometimes she hated how well he knew her. She had been avoiding looking at him since they sat down. She could feel his eyes on her occasionally.
"So Hopps, any worry that your dad is going to show up and bust you?" Carol taunted. Ruby shot her a withering look.
"You know as well as I do that he's got bigger things to deal with right now. So let's drop it." The look on Ruby's face must have made Carol think twice about saying anything else. As any good coward would, Tommy kept his mouth shut knowing Jason was right there.
Ruby watched silently as Steve shotgunned his beer. She internalized her eye roll. He only did that when Tommy was around. She was mildly impressed as she watched Nancy do it. She didn't expect that from her.
The pride she felt when she saw it slowly faded as she watched Nancy pressure Barb. She would expect that from Carol and Tommy...maybe some light teasing from Steve...but not Nancy. She wished Barb would just tell them off, she willed her the self-confidence to do so, but instead she took the knife. Ruby jumped up when she saw the knife slice through Barb's hand.
She wanted to punch Tommy for making a crack about Barb hurting herself. She wrapped her arms around herself, she suddenly didn't want to be there anymore. She had watched Steve flip back and forth between two different personas depending on who was around. She didn't want it to happen with Nancy too. When Nancy didn't follow her inside, she scoffed and went after Barb.
When she made her way down the familiar hall, she stopped and looked at a picture on the wall. It was of her and Steve, the summer before she went into 7th grade and him into 8th. His mother had taken it. They were sitting on the hood of his mother's car, eating ice cream cones. His mother loved Ruby. She had offered to take her along to go school shopping to give her father a break. She ran her finger over the picture before she approached the bathroom door. She knocked lightly on it.
"Barb? Barb...c'mon open the door." Ruby sighed when she was ignored. She knocked again. "I'm not going away until you open the door." She heard shuffling and the door slowly opened. Barb had unshed tears in her eyes.
"What?" She asked harshly. Ruby had come to realize that her tone wasn't out of dislike but out of self preservation.
"I came to see if you're okay. Do you need help?" Barb's expression softened. They could hear screaming and laughter from the back yard.
"I'm fine. You should go back out there. It sounds like you're missing all of the fun." Ruby crossed her arms infront of herself.
"None of that out there sounds like fun. Carol's hyena laughter and Tommy's neadrathal behavior? No thanks." Barb wiped her eyes with her un-injured hand.
"Why are you friends with Steve?" Most people asked in almost an accusatory way, but Barb seem like a genuine question. Ruby knew why she was asking.
"Look...Steve is a good guy. I promise you that. He's...he's hiding in this "King Steve" persona. His mom is so nice, but his father...not so much. He makes Steve feel so small. So, Steve lets Tommy and Carol make him feel large. I try my best not to hold it against him. I know he has a reputation, but he promised me that he wasn't going to play Nancy. I told him he couldn't because she's my friend." Barb nodded.
"I just don't want Nancy to change. What if she drops me." Ruby licked her lips and contemplated her response.
"Nancy wouldn't do that. I know what just happened wasn't very Nancy like...but I think she's just trying to get you to relax. You're not the most trusting of new friends." She smiled at Barb and she gave her a small, knowing smile back. Ruby took it as encouragement to continue. "Nancy...you're her best friend. Just like I didn't drop Steve when he started hanging out with those two...she's not going to drop you. If on the off chance that I am wrong. Which I usually am not...just ask Steve...you'll still have me."
"Thanks Ruby. Thanks for coming to check on me and for trying to make me feel better." Ruby nodded.
"Listen, I have had just about enough tonight. I was going to leave, but I can tell Jason that I'm going to hang back with you and ride home with you and Nance." Barb shook her head.
"No...no. You leave with your perfect boyfriend. You don't need to stay behind. I promised Nancy I wouldn't let her do anything stupid. Doesn't mean it has to ruin your night." Ruby studied her face.
"Okay...okay. Just don't let Tommy or Carol get to you. They are like the lowest form of intelligence. And...don't worry about Nancy. If she goes too far off the deep end, I'll drag her back. I've been doing it with Steve for years." Barb laughed, which made Ruby feel successful.
"Thanks Ruby. And I'm sorry." Barb added the last part quickly.
"For what?" Barb looked a little embarrassed.
"For not being so welcoming." she finally answered.
"I don't blame you. Most people think I'm friends with Tommy and Carol too. I would have suspected me. I consider them a job hazard." Barb laughed.
"Seriously, go, it's okay." Barb's smile was reassuring. Ruby paused for a moment and gave her a quick hug.
"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" Barb nodded and then receded back into the bathroom.
When she walked outside, Steve, Nancy, Tommy and Carol were all in the pool clothes on. She felt such a charge of irritation. When Jason looked at her with a playful look, she held her hand up.
"Unless you would like to be celibate don't even think about it." Her tone caught him off guard. She saw just a slight tick of his brow. Normally she would have tried to throw him in.
"Hopps, come on..." Steve's voice trailed. Ruby looked at him and for a single tiny moment, she hated him. She was sure that there was steam billowing from her like the pool.
"I'll pass. We're going to get going." Jason knew that something was up in that moment. Her tone of voice, the shortness with Steve and her pinched expression was telling.
He grabbed his leather jacket and then placed his letterman jacket over Ruby's shoulders like he did the first time he gave it to her. Nancy and Steve shared a look. Tommy and Carol couldn't have cared less.
"Meet at my locker tomorrow?" Nancy's face looked hopeful.
"Wouldn't miss it Nance." She felt bad for getting so irritated with Nancy. She, herself, was no better. How often had she gone along with the flow just for Steve's sake.
"Drive safe?" Steve's voice came across hesitant.
"I drove. She'll be good." Steve nodded to Jason.
"Alright kids, have fun...wrap it before you tap it. I'm not ready to be an unbiological aunt." She wiggled her fingers goodbye and headed towards the gate to head out to Jason's car.
Neither she or Nancy saw Steve's lingering look. Nancy face was blazing. He felt like he was loosing bits and pieces of Ruby every day. She had made her choice in Jason and he was going to continue to make his choice in Nancy. That didn't mean he wanted to lose his best friend. He pulled Nancy close to him after he saw Jason shut the gate to the backyard.
When they reached Jason's car, he stopped. Ruby walked up to the car and leaned against it so she was facing him. His head tilted to the side as he studied her face. When she didn't speak, he knew he had to.
"Wanna tell me what happened back there? Because you never want to leave Steve's house early." He had his hands on his hips. A stance that reminded her of Steve.
"I just...didn't like seeing Barb pressured like that." She finally admitted.
"So why didn't we stay to hang out with her?" She had to admit, it was a good question.
"I offered. She said no and for us to go. She knows my dad is distracted so we have more free time." A small smile ghosted her face.
"Why did it bother you so much?" He walked towards her.
"I just...I see Steve adjust who he is around Tommy and Carol. I don't want to see Nancy change too." Her admission made her look down.
"I know. I've seen Steve be different when he's just around you versus being around the two of them. Someday...he will outgrow it. But- I wouldn't worry too much about Nancy. I don't see her changing who she is." Ruby nodded.
"I know. I just hate seeing anyone upset like that. Barb is such a nice person. It's taken hard work to get her to trust me. Mostly because people like Tommy and Carol have bullied her." Jason slid his hands up her neck and rested it on her cheek.
"Not by you though. I'm also assuming not by Steve. He just doesn't say anything when they do it. You just have to teach her to be fierce like you and she'll be fine." Ruby's smile grew slightly.
"Fierce like me?" Her eye rolling must have been wearing off on him because he rolled his in a dramatic fashion.
"Yes. Nothing scares you. You don’t back down to anyone.” Ruby smiled.
"
You’re the one who keeps Tommy in line. He's afraid of you. Trust me, when you aren't around he reverts to douche baggery." A darkness clouded his expression.
"He doesn't get to mistreat you when I'm not around? It would be nice if Harrington did his job as a best friend-" . She cut him off immediately.
"First off, Steve does interfere, he's just a little more diplomatic than I am. But any time Tommy has crossed the line, he says something. Secondly, I don't need anyone to defend me. I am more than equipped to defend and handle myself." Jason put his hands on her shoulders. The fire in her blue eyes was glowing almost white.
"I know you don't need anyone to handle Tommy for you. I just happen to think Steve lets them off easy. He lets them get away with a lot. You have to admit that." She ran the tip of her tongue over her teeth.
"I've told you why Steve is the way he is." She always found herself defending him. She knew that if she didn't defend him, no one else would.
"Rue, there's a line though and then it starts to be a cop out." Ruby was silent for a few beats before she responded. He wasn't entirely wrong, yet she couldn't just stand there and say nothing.
"Well, rest assured that if he does cross that preverbal line in the sand. I'll be the very first one to tell him." Jason dropped his head for a moment.
"I don't want to fight with you. I certainly don't want to be fighting with you over Steve. I know he's your best friend. I said what I had to say, and it's the last you'll hear about it from me." Ruby felt her face soften.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to fight either." She closed her eyes when his lips met hers. The kiss started slow and sweet, but quickly turned into something deeper. When they broke away to catch their breath, he rested his forehead against hers.
"Ruby...if I tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?" She ran her hand over the back of his neck and head, fingers prickled by the hair that was cropped short before it led to his pile of curls.
"I...uh...maybe?" She had no idea what he was going to tell her, so she couldn't in good faith promise that.
"Okay...well...I uh..." he wasn't ever lost for words or anxious like this, it was making Ruby anxious.
"Jay, you're scaring me." She finally said. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. For the first time since they had been together, it didn't automatically make her think of Steve and when he did it.
"I think I'm falling in love with you." He had a nervous smile.
"Think?" She said in a quiet voice.
"I know...I know I am and I know it's really early in our relationship. We've been together like 6 weeks..." She had a soft smile on her face.
"I feel the same way." She didn't wait to put him out of his misery. The fact that he was so scared to tell her was really endearing.
She still had feelings for Steve. She might always have feelings for Steve. Watching him with Nancy, even while being with Jason, it hurt. She also had strong feelings for Jason. Until she met Jason, she didn't think it was possible to feel that way about more than one person before. Falling in love was easy, it was staying in love that was a choice and she had made the choice to to love Jason.
"Really?" It seemed like he expected her to shut him down.
"I would never lie about that...not ever." He took her by the hand and pulled him toward his car.
"C'mon, I don't want to kiss you in the middle of the road. Let's go someplace." When he looked back at her, she had this carefree smile on her face. She was so incredibly happy that she didn't stay behind with Barb.
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Ruby paced her living room, while smoking a cigarette. She couldn't contain her anxiety and it was the only thing helping. Jason had brought her home almost two hours ago, just slightly past her curfew, she thought she was going to be busted, but her father wasn't home yet. A few more laps around the room and his lights were shining into the living room window.
She didn't even bother trying to hide or pretend that she wasn't smoking. Her father wasn't stupid. In all honesty, she didn't even care. She was pissed, he knew he was supposed to check in and let her know if he was going to be late. When he walked in, she took a drag of her cigarette.
"Ruby Elizabeth Hopper-" he started to scold.
"Save it. Where have you been. I've been freaking out. You're never home this late without checking in. I thought something happened." He immediately felt guilty. He didn't have it in him to yell at her about smoking.
"I'm sorry, you're right. I should have radioed over. It's just...it's been a rough day." He took his hat off and set it down on his chair.
"Why...what happened? Did you find Will?" Hopper shook his head.
"No...no. Ruby...Benny killed himself." He watched her eyes squint slightly.
"No he didn't. He would never do that." Benny was the first person that made her feel like maybe Hawkins wasn't so bad.
She and her dad went there often. She and Steve went there to eat before or after any movie the saw or a random night when his parents were out of town and her dad was working late. It was where she and Jason had dinner with her father. Benny made her chocolate peanut butter milkshakes. He was a good friend to her dad. She couldn't believe it, she wouldn't believe it.
"He did baby. I'm sorry." The one thing Hopper hated most in this world was watching his daughter in pain. Being the one to deliver the news was even worse.
"It doesn't make sense." She dropped to the couch to sit down.
"I know." Hopper winced as she took another drag of her cigarette.
"You're sure?" He sat down next to her and took her cigarette from her, taking the last drag himself before putting it out in his ashtray.
"Yeah, we're sure." He left out the information about there being a boy who snuck into the diner. He didn't need her obsessing over that.
"I can't...I can't believe this." Hopper knew what she was thinking. Will had disappeared and now Benny was dead.
"Listen...I talked to Steve's mom before they left. They'll be back tomorrow, it was just a quick overnight trip. You're going to stay with them for a little bit." The look on Ruby's face was priceless. He wished it were better circumstances.
"Wait...what?! Why? She didn't understand. Her father hated when she didn't sleep at home. Now, he was sending her away and to stay with Steve of all places.
"With everything going on with trying to find Will, my hours are going to be unpredictable. I really don't like the idea of you being alone here all of the time. It's just for a little bit. I promise." Ruby stood up.
"This is bullshit. I'm almost 17 years old!" She protested.
"I know that, I don't care. This isn't a discussion. You know, I thought you'd be happy it was with The Harrington and not someplace else." He just wanted her to be safe.
"I want to be here when you get home, so I know that you're safe!" She pleaded.
"I promise you I will check in with you every night. I even got a walkie for you to take to The Harrington's. I don't know what happened to Will, but something feels off. Please, don't make me beg you. I need to know that you are safe. I may not always trust Steve Harrington...or even like him all of the time...but I know that he will make sure you're safe." Ruby's anger deflated like a popped balloon.
"Okay..." she acquiesced. While she loved giving her father a hard time, she could see that this was more for his benefit than hers. Though his faith in Steve was endearing.
The next morning, Ruby felt like a zombie as she stared into her locker She did not want to be at school. She was exhausted. She didn't even meet Steve at his car that morning. She had gotten there early and parked where she normally did so he would know not to wait. It wasn't that she was avoiding him, she didn't want to deal with Tommy and Carol that morning.
She couldn't turn her mind off. She had slept for just a couple of hours and gotten up to pack a couple of bags. She had no idea how long her exile to The Harringtons would be. She wanted to bring enough stuff to have enough outfit choices. She packed some of her drawing supplies too. The painting she had been working on would have to wait.
She still had to break the news to Jason that she would be staying at The Harrington's. He had a before school practice to get ready for their playoff games that were coming up that weekend so she likely wouldn't see him until lunch. Though, after the night before, she was certain she had removed any doubts from his mind.
When she looked down the hall, she saw Steve and Nancy. Something was different, they seemed closer. Ruby didn't need to ask what happened. Regaedless of how she felt about Jason, that pang would seemingly never go away. She looked away before they saw her staring.
"Hey there babydoll. I took a super quick shower so I could see you before starting my day." Jason had his winningest smile on his face, which quickly faded when he saw the look on hers. He studied her as if trying to read her mind on what was going on.
"Well I'm glad you did." She didn't tell him about Benny. She knew she would start crying if she did. She hadn't even told Steve yet. Benny's was their place. Benny loved Steve and when the two of them came in together. Now, that was all done. Jason could tell that Ruby wasn't going to entertain a conversation about why she was upset. He was getting really good at reading her.
"C'mon, let's go meet Nancy and Steve" he hooked his arm around her and led her down the hall.
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"Where have you been?" Steve asked as Ruby took a seat at their lunch table.
"I've been here." She didn't want to talk about Benny in front of Carol and Tommy.
Steve could tell she had been crying, he knew better than to ask her about anything important in front of the pair, so that would have to wait. She has finally ducked into the bathroom when she felt herself loosing her grip on her emotions. Ruby was grateful that he didn’t push her. She was also grateful she wasn't at the table for Carol's performance of Nancy moaning Steve's name. Ruby was certain the whole school heard Carol's loud mouth. Ruby might have punched her.
"Where's Barb?" Ruby had just realized that Barb was missing. Jason was sitting with his team strategically planning for their upcoming games. Barb would have been her Carol salvation.
"We were just talking about that. Ruby, you missed the news..."Tommy started.
"Actually, I'm pretty sure Helen Keller heard the two of you." Steve grinned, thankful she saved him a repeat performance. Nancy's face grew red again.
"She uh, didn't come to school today." Nancy finally told her.
"Did she go to her house before school? Didn't she tell her parents that she was staying with you?" Ruby was confused.
"She actually ended up leaving Steve's not long after you. She just went home to her own house." Ruby didn't need to ask any further questions. She could gather what had happened. She should have waited and made sure Barb didn't go home alone.
"I bet her hand was bugging her. It looked like a pretty deep cut. Maybe we can go check on her before or after the game." Ruby suggested.
"Yeah, I bet that's it." Nancy seemed unhappy with that answer. Ruby tuned out the rest of the lunch. She could see Steve giving her little glances every so often. When Nancy said she had to get to her next class early, Steve took the opportunity to get Ruby alone by walking her to class since Jason had to go to the other side of the school.
"Hopps, are you mad at me?" Steve finally asked. Ruby stopped walking so she could look at him.
"No, Steve, of course not. I just...I was avoiding Tommy and Carol." She admitted.
"So where were you this morning? You came in early, but didn't wait for me. . Then I couldn't find you after your first two classes." When she didn't make a joke about him stalking her or being obsessed with her immediately, he felt his worry grow.
"Benny...um..." she blinked back tears. Steve patiently waited for her to finish. "Benny killed himself." She finished with a whisper.
"Oh, God. That's...terrible. When did you find out?" Steve really liked Benny. He knew that Benny looked out for Ruby. He was always good to Steve. He didn't let what other people said about Steve decide how he felt about him.
"Last night. I would have called, but I didn't know if you and Nancy...my dad didn't get home until two hours past my curfew and it was so late. I didn't want to wake you up." Steve held her by her upper arms.
"Rubes...you always call and wake me up if you need me. I don't care if you think Nancy is there. I don't care if you think you're going to wake up my dick of a dad. You. Call. Me." She nodded, a few tears falling.
"I didn't want to start talking about it before school and have Carol and Tommy show up. I couldn't deal with any of their asshole comments." Steve wiped her tears.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm so sorry Ruby. What did your dad say?" She cleared her throat.
"Not much. He said they're sure...but it doesn't make sense. Jay and I were just there. He was in such a good place. He wouldn't have done that." Steve pulled her into a tight hug, holding the back of her head. After a few moments, he let go.
"C'mon..." he took her by the hand and led her down the further down the hall.
"Where are we going?" She yanked back a little.
"We're blowing off the rest of the afternoon. We'll come back for the game." Steve laced his fingers in hers as he pulled her towards a side door that led right to the parking lot.
"That sounds amazing." He was slightly shocked that she didn't protest.
They rode in his car in a comfortable silence. It was unseasonably warm that day, so they had the windows down. He couldn't help but look at her as the wind blew through her hair.
She laughed when they pulled up to the playground that parents with children under school age brought their kids to during the day. She happily let him guide her to the swing set. When they were sitting, Steve finally spoke.
"You're leaving something out." He looked at her.
"My dad...talking to your mom about me staying at your house. On what planet does that make sense? Even in the guest room, his head would explode normally af the suggestion.
"I don't know Rubes...he just told you that someone you cared about committed suicide and he's working all of these crazy hours. I think he wants you to have someone you trust around. Nancy's house is always packed with middle schoolers. I think he knows that you would want someplace quiet to process." She looked at him. She knew that her father knew the only person other than Jason she would truly open up to was Steve. There was zero chance of him letting her go to Jason's for an indefinite sleep over.
"Yeah...maybe. I think I'm just paranoid. Will vanishing and then Benny dying...I know they aren't related, but it's hard not to think that he's hiding something from me." He inched over towards her, bumping her shoulder. She couldn't help but smile at him.
"I miss this. I miss you. I know things are messed up right now, but I miss you coming to me with me everything. I still want to be the person you confide in. I still want you to be the person I tell everything to." This was her Steve. The genuine, honest Steve who cared.
"Steve..." she didn't know what else to say.
"Look...I know you have Jason and I have Nancy, but we always said we wouldn't let relationships ruin our friendship." She remembered that conversation.
"Teenage relationships come and go but you and I are forever." She smiled for the first time that day.
"Exactly. So maybe we can plan like one night a week where we hang out just the two of us. No Nancy or Jason." She contemplated it.
"No Tommy and Carol?" He laughed.
"Definitely no Tommy and Carol." Steve had such strong feelings for Nancy, but he knew a tiny part of his heart would always belong to Ruby.
"So...we're at the swing set...any confessions?" She watched his face turn a little red.
"Yeah...I planned on telling you. I didn't think they knew." Ruby scoffed.
"Steve...how dumb are you?" His jaw dropped.
"That was mean. You're mean." He held his hand to the middle of his chest.
"I knew what happened before they said anything because I know you. I knew you two were having sex last night. Again...Helen Keller knew. She felt him swing into her.
"Alright genius. Anything you want to confess?" She bit her lower lip.
"I got nothing, I told you weeks ago that he and I slept together." She didn't know why she didn't want to tell Steve that Jason said he was falling in love with her and she felt the same. She did truly feel the same, but she wasn't ready to tell Steve that.
"Damn. I was hoping you'd outshine me." She stood up from her swing and motioned for him to follow her to the picnic table. When they sat down, he looked at her expectantly.
"Sorry, I just needed both feet in the ground. I just wanted to say thank you." He took her hand, he could see she was still emotional, even if they had a little banter.
"For what?" He watched her chewing on her lower lip.
"For still knowing me well enough to know what I need. That school today was making me feel like I was going to jump out of my skin." Steve ran his thumb over the skin on the top of her hand.
"I have always seen you. Having a girlfriend won't ever change that." She sniffed, blinking back a few more tears.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. Steve stood and went and sat next to her and pulled her against his chest hugging her.
"Hey...hey...it's okay." He wasn't expecting her to be this emotional.
"Steve...I'm scared." The admission took him by surprise.
"What are you scared of?" He didn't understand what was going on with her.
"I don't know. All I know is that I have had this horrible pit in my stomach since Will went missing. It just feels like there is something looming. Like this darkness." Steve was a little stunned by the admission.
"Listen to me. Everything is going to be fine. Regardless of what happens with Will...you and your Dad are going to be okay. Nancy, Dustin...everyone, even me...we are going to be okay. Do you hear me?" He had taken both sides of her head in his hands. She just started crying more.
"God...what is wrong with me?" She cried harder. He continued to wipe her tears.
"There is nothing...nothing wrong with you. You're overwhelmed and worried." She nodded her head and Steve pulled her back into a hug. He felt her start to relax and eventually her tears slowed down.
"I don't think I'm going to stay for the game. I think I'm just going to grab my car and go for a drive to clear my head." Steve tried to read her expression.
"Then I'll go with you. Don't go off on your own." Ruby shook her head.
"No, you go to the game with Nancy." Steve gave her and exasperated look.
"I am not letting you go off in your own. We promised your dad we'd take care of you." He smiled when she rolled her eyes.
"Fine, but if Carol makes one comment about me looking like I've been crying, I will punch her in the face."
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"So you just up and left in the middle of the day with Steve?" Jason couldn't quite comprehend why Ruby would do that.
"Benny died Jason." She was trying not to get upset.
"You couldn't tell me but you told Steve?" She crossed her arms.
"It's not like I had time to tell you. You had practice first thing this morning and when you came up to my locker I didn't want to lose it before first period. When I told Steve about Benny and just kind of had a mini emotional breakdown. He was being a good friend. I actually feel a little bit better" Jason crossed his arms.
"Telling me about it wouldn't have made you feel better? You and I could have left together." Ruby scoffed. She did not want to deal with the competition between Steve and Jason.
"This isn't some sort of contest. I'm not going to apologize because my best friend was able to make me feel a tiny bit better to save your ego. It's not about you or him." Jason closed his eyes, immediately regretting what he said.
"You're right...I'm sorry. I guess...you know...you're going to be staying with him and you ran off with him." She held her hand up.
"This is the last time I am saying this or having this conversation with you. Steve is my best friend. The only friend I had for a long time. He knows me better than anyone. It doesn't make you any less important than him in my life. If you can't exist along side him, then you do get to be in it. Also, for the record, I'm staying with his family. I didn't set that up, my father did." Jason nodded his head.
"I know...I'm so sorry. I promise. It's the last time. Just don't push me away." He begged.
"Jay...I have no intention of doing that. I meant what I said yesterday. Every single word of it." Jason leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.
"I'm sorry....shit, I have to go. Second practice of the day. Will you call me later?" She swatted at him.
"Of course. Have a good practice. You're going to be exhausted after a second one today." He nodded in agreement.
"I know. Hey...have fun at the game." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips and jogged towards the soccer field. She took a deep breath. She put herself in his shoes and if he had a girl that he was close with, she might have a hard time adjusting too.
When Ruby adverted her eyes back to Steve, he was standing with Tommy, Carol and this red headed girl Nicole she recognized. She watched for a moment, with piqued curiosity. Steve looked troubled. When she made her way over, Carol couldn't wait to tell Ruby all about what Nicole had told them.
She tried to talk Steve out of confronting Jonathan with everyone there, but he wouldn't hear it. While she hated this side of him, but she couldn't exactly defend Jonathan either. Missing brother or not, what he had done to Nancy was far removed from being okay. Yet, watching what Steve did made her feel gross.
When Nancy got up to leave before the game started, Ruby took that as permission to leave too. She couldn't stomach Tommy and Carol any longer. Instead, she headed over to the soccer field to watch Jason practice.
Jason was always authentic to who he was. Jason never made her feel like she had to get along with all of his friends to keep the peace. Instead of calling out Tommy or Carol...Steve tried to get Ruby to fit into their mold and it was her fault if it didn't work. Or at least that was how it felt. She wanted Steve to stand up to them or push back when they bullied other kids. Maybe she was asking too much of him. She knew why Steve was the way that he was. The question was, how long could she let that keep being an excuse?
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Ruby couldn't concentrate. Steve's father was yelling, Barb was missing and Will Byers was dead. They had pulled his body from the quarry the night before.
"...it is absolutely unbelievable that you would have a party when we were gone!"
"I wasn't a party." Ruby uttered, in a deadpanned voice.
"Excuse me?!" Mr. Harrington spun on her.
"Don't yell at her!" Steve immediately jumped to her defense but she held a hand up to him.
"Mr. Harrington, it wasn't a party. It was Steve, me and a few of our friends hanging out by the pool. It wasn't an actual party like you're thinking it was." His father deflated a little.
"There still shouldn't be a group of people here when we aren't home. Now there is a girl missing and they think it had to do with us!" He yelled at Steve. Ruby groaned. His father looked back at Ruby.
"No one thinks that. We were just the last ones to see Barb before she went missing. That's the big deal here. She's missing and Will Byers is dead." Ruby stood up and wrapped her arms around herself. She couldn't see him but Steve gave his father a pleading look and motioned to Ruby. Steve's father shook his head and stormed out of the living room.
"Ruby, sweetheart, are you okay?" Mrs. Harrington finally spoke.
"Yeah...it's just been a rough few days. I think I'm going to go and lay down." Steve watched her travel up the stairs and out of sight. When his mother motioned for him to follow her, Steve didn't need to be told twice.
When he got upstairs, she wasn't in the guest room, she was in Steve's laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling.
"I never should have left early." Ruby's eyes were red from crying. She felt like she had been crying for days.
"It's not your fault Ruby. Nancy thought she went home. No one imagined that she wouldn't make it home." He watched as a few more tears fell from her eyes.
"Why won't my dad let me go home?" Steve laid down next to her.
"I don't know Rubes. He's got a lot on his plate. Another missing kid? I wouldn't want you home alone either." She was quiet for a moment.
"He's hiding something from me. I know him. I know when he's being evasive. I just can't imagine what." Steve turned his head to look at her.
"I mean...I don't think he's going to lay out all of the pieces of his investigation to you." Ruby rolled her eyes.
"I know that. I just...I don't know. It's all just too much." Steve put his arm around her and she rested her head against him. This wasn't unusual, they just hadn't been alone like this in a long time.
"I'm sure once things settle down, you'll be back at home and all of this will seem like a distant memory.
"More like a distant nightmare...are you coming to the funeral tomorrow? Jason can't. He's got double practices again." Steve rolled his eyes. He definitely didn't want to go, but he didn't want her to be alone. He was having a hard time believing that Jason couldn't get out of one practice to go to a funeral.
"Of course I'll be there. I wouldn't let you go by yourself." He felt her relax a little.
"Thanks Steve." Her voice was almost a whisper.
"Anytime Hopps. That's what best friends are for." He laid there, listened to her breathe, wishing he could do more to make her feel better. That would only happen with time. He knew he wasn't always what she wished he would be, but he refused to let her go through all of this alone.
So this chapter is more character building for Ruby and her relationship with Steve…leading into Steve and Nancy.
This will definitely be a slow burn and after this, getting into the actual show.
Thanks for all of the likes!
Ruby didn't normally drink, but she had walked over to Steve's and a beer or two couldn't hurt. His parents were out and her father was working a double shift. By the time he got home she would be showered, fed and in bed. Jim Hopper would be none the wiser.
Besides, Tommy and Carol were intolerable that evening. What Steve saw in them, she would never know. He was like two different people. Her Steve and then the Steve that he was when they were around. She knew it had something to do with his parents, specifically his father. Being the guy at school helped heal something in him.
She was on her third beer and feeling tipsy. She wasn’t sure why they were hitting her so hard. Maybe she didn’t eat enough. They were sitting outside by the pool. It had gotten chilly that evening, so she was donning one of Steve's sweatshirts over her tank top and cut off shorts. She was trying to focus on the music to drown out Carol's hyena like laugh when she heard Tommy repeatedly saying her name. She opened one eye to look at him.
"What?" She finally questioned, annoyance dripping from her voice.
"We said...isn't that Jonathan Byers kid such a weird loser?" Ruby rolled her eyes.
"Why? What specifically offends you so much? The fact that he has a GPA higher than a 1.7, that his vocabulary expanded further than that of a 3rd grader or that regardless of what you say to him, he remains unbothered and doesn't need your approval?" The alcohol had loosened Ruby's lips. Carol stood up.
"What did you just say?" Ruby jumped up, thrilled to have the chance to go toe to toe with her. She loved goading Carol into an argument. Ruby could talk circles around Carol. Sometimes it made her feel better. Other times, she hated that she stooped to her level.
"Well to sum it up Carol, I called your boyfriend a neandrathal. I thought that was pretty clear." Steve groaned. It was the night before school started, he wanted a chill night. He watched as Tommy stood up. While he hated them fighting, watching Ruby go toe to toe with a guy who towered over her was slightly entertaining.
"You know Hopper, you should watch your mouth." Tommy seethed. Ruby laughed in his face. She enjoyed watching the vein at his temple bulge just slightly. She hadn't pushed him to his max yet.
"Or what Tommy?" Her tone in the deep end of condescation. "Does putting other people down make you feel large? What is it exactly you're over compensating for? I mean...I've heard the two of you together in a bedroom. Her cackle is louder than anything I've ever heard come out of her from a bedroom at a party. Are you trying to make up for coming up a little bit short?" Her index finger and her thumb held out, started getting closer together. That vein was about to burst. He shoved Carol aside and took two steps towards her. Steve immediately jumped up, pushing Ruby behind him in a protective stance.
"Okay...okay. Let's all settle down. We're all a little buzzed." He watched as Ruby cracked her fourth beer and drank most of it in one go.
"You're right Steve." Tommy said with venom laced in his voice. "Carol and I are going to head out. Maybe have a conversation with your girl about controlling her mouth." Steve instinctively put his arm out and Ruby ran into it. He knew that her hot temper that boiled over when drinking. Not to mention, she was fearless. She didn’t even flinch at a menacing Tommy.
"Bye." She waved as she stood behind Steve's arm. She could have shoved him out of the way, but she wouldn't do that to Steve. She finished her beer. Once they were gone, she went for another one.
"Whoa, okay Hopps. Let's maybe slow down. Your dad is like just starting to tolerate me. Can't have you going home blasted. Come here." He took her by the hand over to one of the lounge chairs and pulled her into his lap.
"Steve..." her voice trailed off. She closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of his warm hand resting on her thigh. That fourth beer was hitting her hard.
"Hey, look at me." She opened her eyes. In the moonlight, she could see the gold flecks of gold in his hazel eyes. "You never drink like this. What are you running from."
She wanted to tell him her feelings for him, but instead, she just shook her head and rested her forehead against his. His nose bumped against hers and then against his better judgment, he kissed her. Just like they used to in middle school, only this time their inhibitions were much lower. He groaned against her lips when she swung her other leg over and straddles him in the chair.
He couldn't stop himself from running the tip of his tongue across the middle of her lips. She eagerly allowed him entrance into her mouth and he deepened the kiss. He instinctively ran his hands up the back of her thighs and under the back of her shorts, squeezing where the material of her underwear didn't cover. She immediately ran her hands into the back of his hair, letting him explore her body with his hands. He had pulled his sweatshirt off of her to expose more of her skin.
She felt this funny feeling in her stomach. A deep tingling that she never felt with any other boy she had kissed. She knew Steve wasn't a virgin like she was. She had toed the line to just about everything but that. Yet none of them had ever made her entire body feel like it was on fire. Every nerve ending felt exposed and she felt like she could never be close enough to him.
He had dreamt about this moment so many times. Feeling her soft skin against his lips and his hands. His lips were running down her neck and across her collar bone when her grip in his hair tightened, he realized what he was doing.
"Wait...wait. Not you." She yanked her head back from him, hurt clearly all over her face. "No, no...I didn't mean it like that." She felt herself sobering up quickly.
"Am I not good enough for you?" She asked quietly, looking down. He hooked his finger under her chin so she would meet his eyes. It had all come out wrong; it always did.
"God, are you crazy? If anything you're too good for me. I meant, not with you drunk. Not...not you. If you were sober..." His voice trailed off. He slid his hand up the side of her face into her hair. She felt herself lean into his hand and she felt him kiss her lightly on the lips. He was amazed that she didn't know how he felt about her.
He pulled her into his arms, she had moved her legs so she wasn't straddling him, but both of her legs were hanging over his lap. They were silent for a long time, Steve languidly running his fingers through her wavy hair. He was always amazed at how much hair she had.
With her head on his shoulder, all she could smell was the fresh clean scent of his cologne. It was her favorite smell. She felt anxiety slowly creeping into her chest. Was this going to change anything; or would it change everything?
"I should walk you home. It's officially a school night. If you aren't snuggled in your bed in an hour your dad will murder me." She laughed. Maybe things didn't have to change at all. She stood up and straightened herself out. When she looked over at Steve, he tossed her his sweatshirt to put back on.
The walk home was quiet. She had slid her arm into the crook of his. They walked like that often, especially when it was just the two of them. He had no idea how to summon the courage to stop before they went too far. He knew she was special. She was special to him and he was terrified that a drunken hook up would ruin them beyond repair. One thing was for sure, he couldn't lose her.
"Here we are m'lady" she laughed, shoving her shoulder into him.
"You know I could have walked home on my own." He shook his head.
"No. Never." He clocked her eye roll.
"It's Hawkins, Steve. What's going to attack me? A corn stalk from one of the farms a few towns over?" He licked his lips, leaning against her porch.
"You never know. It just makes me feel better to deliver you to your doorstep if you don't have your car. Plus, your father would demand it." Another eye roll. He could always predict when it was coming.
"You're both ridiculous." She shook her head digging out her key.
"Yeah, yeah. Get inside and lock your door or he will have a fit. Drink a bunch of water, can't be responsible for you having a hangover on the first day." He tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Meet you in the parking lot?" The days of him having to pick her up were gone now. She suspected that was part of the reason why he got her the new car. No more needing Steve to pick her up because her car broke down.
"It's a date." He ran his thumb over her bottom lip before she turned to go into the house. She looked back at him one more time and then disappeared behind the door. Steve didn't leave until he heard the lock on the door click.
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Ruby had settled into September. The start of school had been a whirlwind, and now the month was almost gone. She had been so nervous that what happened with her and Steve would change their friendship, but it was like it never happened. The first day of school, Steve was waiting for her with Tommy and Carol. Tommy had decided to call a truce and Ruby just went along with it. Steve didn't mentioned what happened by the pool and she certainly wasn't going to bring it up. She had waited for weeks for him to say something…anything, but he acted like it never happened, the message was received.
Steve was back to his normal flirting with every girl on the planet routine and Ruby was set on not becoming the spare tire between whatever girl Steve was with, Tommy and Carol. She had decidedly kicked up her flirting. She had also done something she had never done before, made a new friend in Nancy Wheeler. Along with Nancy, came Barb. Barb tolerated her. She didn't really blame her for having her guard up. Ruby was notorious for being Steve's friend and along came Tommy and Carol with him. Though Barb was warming up to her. It was nice to have friends who actually cared about school work to hang out with, but gossiping with them was far more fun than with Steve.
"Jason Calloway is checking you out." Nancy whispered.
"I know." Ruby grinned at her. "We have been flirting."
"What about Steve?" Barb's question was blunt. Ruby turned to her.
"I've told you both, like a million times. Steve and I are just friends. We've been best friends since elementary school." Nancy and Barb shared a look and Ruby made a show of rolling her eyes.
"All I'm saying is it doesn't seem that way." Barb added.
"It doesn't matter how it seems Barb, it matters how it is. You see Steve with other girls all of the time. I know we haven't known each other that long and I don't think you even like me-"
"That's not true!" Barb protested.
"Regardless, I would hope you would know that I respect myself too much be with someone who is constantly with other girls. I’m actually hoping be finds one that sticks because I’m sick of learning their names." Barb sighed in contrition.
"You're right...I'm sorry. You guys just seem so close." Ruby as so tired of having to explain her friendship. She hoped she and Nancy would finally accept that.
"Jason is headed over here." Nancy alerted her in a rushed whisper. Ruby smirked as he leaned against the lockers next to her.
"Hey Ruby." He said smoothly. Ruby glanced at him. She couldn't deny that he was gorgeous.
Jason was the kind of guy people noticed before they realize that they were staring. His hair was jet black, thick curly and unruly on top with a clean fade at the sides brought a sense of order to the unruliness of his curls. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair. That immediately made her think of Steve's hair. She quickly put him out of her mind.
While his hair was captivating, his eyes were the star of the show. They were a pale, stormy gray that almost glowed in the right light, like a full moon behind thin clouds. They made her feel seen in a way that was both comforting and deeply unsettling; like he was reading the parts of her that she didn't say out loud.
His face was all strong lines and quiet intensity. She had watched his defined jaw that tighten when he was thinking in class. Jason's slightly sloped nose gave his profile a classical, almost sculpted look. His full lips rested naturally in an expression halfway between thoughtful and amused.
"Hey Jay. What can I do for you?" She slowly licked her lips, pulling her bottom lip under her teeth. His eyes flicked down to her mouth for a moment and back up to her intense blue eyes.
"Well, I was hoping that I'd see you in the crowd at my game today." Ruby closed her locker and turned so she could also lean against it to face him.
"And what exactly is in it for me?" She ticked her eyebrow up. When he smiled at her, it was slow, deliberate, and unfairly effective.
"I was thinking maybe I could take you on a date this weekend?" She took her time answering him, just to torture him a little bit.
"Wow, you're willing to take out the Chief of Police's daughter? That's impressive." Hey chuckled slightly.
"I'll even knock on your front door." She hummed in amusement.
"Well, I guess I have something to think about." He adjusted his back pack on his shoulder.
"When should I be expecting your answer?" His smooth tone had a calm confidence. Ruby placed her hand on his chest and she could feel his heartbeat speed up ever so slightly.
"I guess you'll know if I'm at that game after school, won't you? See you later Jay." She could feel her eyes watching him as she walked away. She was thrilled she wore her new light wash jeans, they were tight, hugging her hips with slim legs that were tight at her ankles. She had paired it with a simple white t-shirt that hugged her just right. Her long hair, cascading down her back, bouncing as she walked away. Nancy linked her arm with Ruby's.
"Please tell me we are going to that game." She whispered. Ruby grinned.
"We are definitely going to that game. He just doesn't need to know that." For the first time since she had been at Hawkins, she felt like a normal teenager.
Steve had watched the whole interaction between Ruby and Jason Calloway. He felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. He had been sure that things were going to be different between them. He had planned to talk to her before school that first day, but she had been running late. Tommy and Carol had gotten there first. Then, he lost his nerve and she never mentioned it.
"I'll see you later Nance." Ruby waved. Nancy waved back, giving Steve a shy smile that caught his eye for a moment. Carol's voice brought Steve back into the moment.
"Wow Hopps. Pulling Jason Calloway? I'm impressed." Ruby shrugged.
"We'll see." Steve caught Jason's eye as he walked past the group.
"What are we doing after school today? Your dad is working late right?" Ruby looked at Steve.
"Well, Nancy and I are going to Jason's soccer game. I can call you when I get home. We can figure something out." Steve noticed she made it clear that he was not invited to the game.
"Yeah, that sounds good." He nodded.
"Hopps finally letting her popularity shine through is not what I expected out of this school year." Tommy laughed.
"I am so glad you approve Tommy." Luckily, Steve was the only one that caught her sarcastic tone.
"We better get to class." It felt weird saying the responsible thing to the group instead of Ruby, but Steve didn't want to think about her and Jason Calloway any longer.
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"Barb didn't want to come?" Ruby asked when she saw Nancy approaching by herself.
"She had to get home. Besides, sports are not really her scene." Ruby nodded. She wished Barb would loosen up just a bit and hang out with them more.
"Maybe next time." Ruby mused. She was pleasantly surprised by Jason, standing near the entrance to the soccer field.
"So it's a yes to our date?" His cool and casual demeanor made her heart quicken just a little bit. It was time to move on from Steve. She couldn't keep holding out for something that wasn't going to happen.
"I'm going to go grab us a seat on the bleachers." Nancy walked quickly to give them a moment to talk.
"I guess so." She tilted her head. He watched as goosebumps rose on her skin as a cool wind blew through. Fall was upon them and she wasn't in her heated car.
Jason took off his letterman jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She quirked her eyebrow at him and he gave her another easy smile.
"You know it's fall right?" She laughed lightly.
"I do, I am just perpetually late for everything and left my jacket in my car." Her tardiness drove her father crazy. No matter how hard she tried, she was always late.
"Well, now everyone will know who you're here for. It looks good on you. I'll see you after the game?" Ruby nodded, he looked back at her one more time before he headed to the locker room.
When Ruby made her way to the bleachers, she saw Steve sitting with Nancy. She was staring into his eyes and he was running his fingers through his hair, leaning in slightly. He was flirting with her. She felt the sting deep inside, but she had no right to feel that way.
"You're wearing his jacket?" Steve raised both of his eyebrows. She shrugged and slid her arms through the oversized sleeves.
"I forgot mine and it's chilly. He was being nice." Ruby's voice sounded clipped at Steve's judgment.
"I can't believe we are ar a soccer game." He complained.
"Well, you weren't technically invited." Ruby pointed out. She kept her face straight as he put his arm around Nancy's neck. She had become a pro at not showing a reaction to him and other girls.
"Well, I didn't want Nance to get lonely while you're drooling over Calloway." While his tone didn't show it, she knew he was challenging her. She felt a little anger bubble up. He had no right to judge her. He had rejected her.
"That's very thoughtful of you." She said simply. She had made a choice today to move on from the idea of her and Steve when she said yes to Jason. She had no claim to Steve and she had no right to be jealous. Actually, him being into Nancy was a vast improvement.
She tried to put the thought of the two of them out of her head and cheered as the Hawkins Soccer Team came out in the field. She saw Jason's face tighten when he saw Steve there, but relaxed when he saw that his arm was around Nancy. It was a common question at Hawkins- are they or aren't they. By Ruby saying yes to Jason and Steve having his arm around Ruby's new friend, they were making the "they aren't" an official notice.
Ruby clapped as the team ran off the field after winning the game. Jason was a talented forward, she had to admit. She also hadn't ever really been into soccer before, it was a lot more exciting than she had anticipated. Steve and Nancy waited with Ruby for Jason to come out after showering and changing.
Jason came out, his hair as unruly as ever. He broke out into a smile when he saw her and jogged over. He glanced over at Nancy and Steve.
"Alright Hopps, I am going to get Nancy here home. I'll see you tomorrow." So much for hanging out that night. She kind of felt like she got slapped, but she didn't let it show. She had become a mastermind at holding a poker face.
"So...Steve and Nancy?" He asked. Ruby gave him a winning smile.
"I am an excellent wing woman." She held her hands out. He laughed and shook his head.
"You're a good friend." He said. He didn't question her about Steve, to her relief. She was also standing there in his jacket.
"I try. I think she's actually going to be good for him. So long as he doesn't mess it up anyway." That was the truth. Maybe Nancy would make Steve take life more seriously.
"Can I walk you to your car?" He asked. She nodded, the intensity of his stare stealing her voice. He took her hand and they headed towards the parking lot.
"That was a great game. You are really talented." She complimented.
"I try. Maybe sometime you can show me how talented you are." Her brow furrowed, not quite understanding him. "I'm dying to see the inside of that sketch book." Ruby laughed.
"Oh...I don't show that to anyone. But, maybe someday I'll show you some of my other work." She offered.
"I'd like that. So...Saturday...movie and walk around town either before or after?" He asked as they approached her car. She leaned up against it as he stood in front of her.
"That actually sounds really nice. And look, we can meet if you don't want to deal with my dad...which I totally understand because I often don't want to deal with my dad. He can be overwhelming and over bearing. I promise he's really not that bad once you get to know him..." he cut her off by kissing her.
He gave her a second for her brain to register and she kissed him back. It was slow and sweet. He had one arm extended onto her car, the other was holding her cheek. She hesitantly placed her hands on each side of his torso. He pulled away for a moment and kissed her lightly one more time.
"I'm sorry...I've been dying to do that for weeks. I didn't want to not be able to focus on you if all I could think about was kissing you on Saturday. And absolutely not. I'm going to come to your house, ring your doorbell and shake your dad's hand. What kind of man would be think I was if I snuck around with his daughter and made her meet me instead of picking her up. That work for you?" She nodded her head.
"Yeah...yeah...that sounds perfect." He was good, she'd give him that. Most guys would have taken the out. He was absolutely right, her father would have thought less of him.
"Good." He pushed off her car and they stood there for a moment.
"Oh, your jacket." As she started to take it off he stopped her and pulled it back on her shoulders.
"I think it looks better on you...and I think you should definitely wear it tomorrow." The slow smile appeared on his face again.
"Be careful, that is going to make everyone think I'm your girlfriend." Jason laughed.
"I'm pretty sure that's what I am going for here Hopper." Her swagger that she had built up over the past month faltered.
"Why?" She asked in a quiet voice.
"What do you mean why?" She had thrown him off.
"Why me?" It took him a moment to realize she was serious. He let out a whistle.
"How do you not know?" She blinked at him. He shook his head and took her hands.
"What do you think I've been working towards for the past month. I'm not like...I don't just flirt with a girl to get her hopes up. Ruby, you're smart and funny, like really funny. I've heard you roast Tommy at least a million times and it never gets old. I don't know why you even hang out with him. You're kind. I saw you this summer going to the movies with what's his name? Dustin Henderson, and you were genuinely having a good time as that kid talked your ear off. You're just different." He shook his head. He couldn't help but smile at her blazing cheeks.
"I, wow...I didn't realize you even knew who I was until a few weeks ago." She admitted.
"Because you didn't pay attention until a few weeks ago." He wasn't wrong. She hadn't really wanted to let anyone really notice her before. She had dated and messed around with a handful of guys, mostly ones that knew Steve and Tommy. She hadn't been open to letting anyone else really in.
"I...I don't know what to say. I'm awkward, I'm sorry." He shook his head with a laugh.
"Just say yes. Unless you don't want to..." she looked up at him into his grey eyes.
"Yes." She didn’t even hesitate. She wanted something more than she had allowed herself to have. She had to stop living like she was going to lose another person close to her. It just made her lonelier. Jason leaned down and kissed her in her cheek and then straightened the jacket on her.
"I'll see you tomorrow then." He opened her car door for her so she could get in. "Drive safe."
"You too Jay. I'll see you tomorrow." He shut her door and watched her pull out of her spot. He didn't start heading to his car until she was pulling out of the lot.
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Ruby was surprised to see Steve sitting on her front porch when she pulled in the driveway. She didn't even expect to hear from him. She could see Dustin in his front yard a few doors down.
"Hey. I didn't know you were waiting for me." She said as she got out of her car.
"I didn't want Calloway to get the wrong idea." His tone was off. Ruby didn't respond to it.
"That's stupid. Everyone knows we're friends." She sat down next to him.
"No one believes it." She let that hang in the air for a moment.
"Well...it's the truth. I'm not going to stop being your best friend because someone doesn't understand that." He looked at her.
"Best friend? You didn't even tell me you two were a thing." He scoffed.
"We've been, I don't know, flirting. I didn't realize he was serious until today." Steve laughed, it almost seemed forced.
"Yeah, you tend to miss things." She elbowed him. He didn't know why it bothered him so much when he never said anything. Maybe he always thought she would be there. Now she wasn't.
"Um...you and Nancy?" She asked.
"I dunno, she's cool. I didn't realize how cool she was until you started hanging out with her." It was Ruby's turn to stare at him.
"Yeah...I know that she's cool. That's why I became friends with her. About that...Steve, if you really like her I think it's great...but if she's just another girl to you, please don't. I don't want to lose a friend." He stood up, hands on his hips. It was his “I’m annoyed” stance.
"What is that supposed to mean? What if I mess it up with her we won't be friends anymore?" She rubbed her forehead for a moment.
"Uh no, Steve. I'm always going to pick you. How do you not know that by now? I don't want to lose Nancy as a friend if you aren't serious about her. That's what I'm saying." he shook his head.
"You think I can't do a serious relationship?!" As he raised his voice, it caught Dustin's attention.
"Why are you going out of your way to hear things that I am not saying? I didn't say any of that. I was simply asking him that if you didn't want to be serious with her, to not go there. But if you're interested in having an actual relationship, by all means. You've just never been interested in one before.” She was standing and raising her voice. Now Dustin was really listening because Ruby Hopper never yelled at Steve Harrington like that.
"Neither have you." They stared at each other for a moment.
"Why are you trying to start a fight Steve?" Ruby threw her hands up. He didn't have an answer for her.
"Maybe I should go." He finally said.
"Maybe you should." He turned and walked to his car, Ruby jumped when he slammed the door.
When he pulled away, she sat back down on her porch and put her face in her hands, a few hot tears slipping through her fingers. She had no idea what just happened. She had been so happy when she pulled into the driveway. Steve was the person she would call in this situation. She couldn’t even tell Nancy because she didn’t want to mess up anything with her and Steve.
She heard Dustin's footsteps approaching and quickly wiped her eyes. He frowned. He had never seen her cry before. He didn't understand what was going on. All he knew was that Steve Harrington just made one of the coolest people he knew cry and he didn’t like it.
"Do I need to beat him up?" He asked. She laughed slightly, glad he had been eavesdropping like a proper sibling would have.
"No, no. It's just a misunderstanding. We're both being stupid." Dustin sat down next to her.
"Or he's mad that you're wearing someone else's jacket." She gave him a withering look. "I'm just saying." He muttered.
"It's not line that." She argued. Maybe it was like that and neither she or Steve were willing to admit it. Dustin put his head on her shoulder and she rested her head on top of his.
"Well, he's a jerk either way." Ruby smiled.
"Thanks Dustin." It was nice to have someone on her side without having to explain what she didn't even know how to explain.
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Ruby watched as Steve started to fall for Nancy. She was happy that he was taking it seriously. The night that they had gotten into a fight over nothing at all, he had called her and said he was sorry and that it was his fault. He did take what she said wrong and he promised that he was taking Nancy seriously. Slowly, they went back to business as usual. Ruby had finally accepted that all the two of them would ever be was just friends.
She was sitting on Nancy's bed, flipping through a magazine. She had just dropped a bomb on her. She was trying to be super cool about it, but she was dying to talk to someone about it and Steve was not the person she could tell this to. He and Jason tolerated each other for her sake, but they weren't friends.
"Wait...oh my God...so you did it...did it." Ruby felt her cheeks go red.
"Shhhh! The last thing I need is your brother hearing you and him telling Dustin. My relationship hinges on the fact that my father doesn't realize that I am spending a lot more time with Jay than he realizes. He thinks I am spending all of my time here!" Ruby yelled in a whisper.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect it. It was last night?" Ruby nodded.
"Yeah, it just, kind of happened." She couldn't look Nancy in the eye.
"How...how was it?" She met Nancy's eyes. She wasn't asking to be nosy, Ruby knew she was thinking of going there with Steve now that she realized that he was actually serious about her. Ruby didn't know how to feel about that. There was still a little bit of a pang every once in a while.
"At first it was a little uncomfortable and it hurt a little bit. But he was really great and didn't rush me. In the end, it was kind of amazing." She put her face in her hands.
"Oh don't be embarrassed!" Nancy put her arm around her.
"I know, it's silly. I just, I don't expect to feel this way about him." She put her head on Nancy's shoulder.
Ruby hadn't expected to ever have feelings for anyone the way she had Steve. Maybe she was finally growing up. Jason made her feel a lot of things.
True to his word, their first date he rang their doorbell and shook her father's hand. Hawkins was a small town so her father knew he was a good kid and could be trusted. Still, it had impressed him that he had the guts to look him in the eye and have his daughter home 15 minutes before her curfew. Granted, that first date they had skipped the movie, gotten ice cream and spent an hour kissing in his car.
They spent a lot of time in the back seat of his car, but it wasn't always sexual. They would listen to music, his head in her lap as she played with the curls on his head. That was her favorite thing to do. It was always his music because all of her mixtapes were made by Steve and it didn't seem right to bring them into his car.
She had gone to his house for dinner a few times. His parents were nothing but nice. Getting her Dad to sit down to a real meal at night was next to impossible. Though one night, she did get him to agree to meet them at the diner and that went better than she had expected.
Here they were, into November and she felt settled in her first real relationship. Letting the idea of her and Steve go had changed everything for her.
"Oh Nance, I have to get home. I promised my dad that I would be home early tonight. I'll see you in the morning?" Ruby pulled the letterman jacket on, Jason had refused to take it back. Her father had just gotten over her wearing it on a regular basis.
"Yeah, definitely. Tell your dad I said hi." Ruby nodded and headed downstairs. After checking with Dustin to see if he wanted a ride home, she made her way out to her car. The early November evening was dark and cold. Ruby felt a chill run down her spine. It felt almost eerie out.
There was something creepy about a fall night. She wished Dustin would have let her drive him home. Sometimes, she was just as over protective as his mom. As she made her way home, she thought about the night prior. It was amazing how much could change in just 24 hours.
Here it is! I’ve been working on this for a while. I hope you enjoy!!
I need to re-read one more time, probably tomorrow. I didn’t want to hold onto it.
Rage, unadulterated rage was pumping through Gia's veins. It was mixed with betrayal and something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on.
They were having the best time. They had spent Thanksgiving watching movies and eating Chinese food. Neither of them had any desire for traditional Thanksgiving food. In fact, Gia would love if this was their new tradition. That was if she didn't kill him first.
He had spent most of Thursday and Friday with his mouth on her body and deep inside her in one shape or form. He had taken her on just about every service of that hotel room. His stamina was impressive, he was insatiable. She assumed it was the days of absolutely no work stress. She could still feel the comfortable ache that he left behind, even with fire coursing through her veins.
Then, they had gone to this amazing dinner. She hadn't really been using her phone much since she had checked in to the hotel; she truly wanted to unplug. She pulled her phone out to take a picture of them and she noticed that there were over 10 missed calls from Grayson. She had put her phone back into her purse, she had no intention of calling him back while they were waiting for their table.
Then, they had breakfast in bed and it was time to head home. They had planned on staying one more night but unfortunately some things came up at his office and he had to prepare for Monday. Essentially four full days of just the two of them had been amazing. It wasn't long that they were back in their apartment that there was a frantic knock on their door. When she looked out the peep hole and was shocked to see her brother there. When she opened the door he rushed into the room.
"Gray- what are you doing here?" She felt slightly alarmed as she closed the door behind him.
"That's cute. You're here with your fancy boyfriend after a fancy holiday weekend and some swanky hotel. Instead of coming home to see your recovering mother for Thanksgiving. Playing dress up and sending your work pal to interrogate our mother." The accusation hung in the air for a moment. She felt like she had been slapped. She could feel his disdain radiating off of him.
"I needed some space to think...I was considering Christmas. But I...I have no Earthly idea what you're talking about. And how did you know where I was for the holiday?" He scoffed as he threw his hands up. He was frantically pacing.
"Oh, you needed more space. Olivia told me! After she spent time interrogating our mother about a summer that she wasn't even around for! When I couldn't reach you, she reluctantly told me where you were. She told me when you'd be back." Gia felt like the room was spinning. She had to grasp one of the chairs as she tried to absorb what Grayson had said.
"Wait...what?! I didn't send Olivia anywhere." She felt like she was loosing her mind. She had been pretty tight lipped with what she was dealing with, but Liv had a small idea of what was going on.
"I sent her." Rafael was crossing his arms, leaning against the wall. He didn't want Gia taking the brunt of Grayson's anger. She slowly turned to look at him.
"What?!" Wide eyed, her face was laced with confusion and utter devastation. Rafael knew the blowback would be bad. He just thought he would have the chance to tell her once they had settled in. He hadn't expected her brother to show up. Rafael sighed.
"Your father lied to you. You need information but I knew you didn't want to go to her. I wanted to help you. Liv is a neutral ground. I thought she could help." Gia ran her hand down her face.
"My family is NONE of your business." Grayson pointed at Rafael.
"Hey! I’m his business. He's my family." Gia blurted out. Angry as she was feeling, that didn't change how she felt about him. She couldn’t even help herself from defending him.
"You know, she talks about you like you hung the moon. Her big brother that she loves so much. I have to say, you don't live up to the hype. You lash out at her, you hurt her and when you're finished treating her like garbage? You come back contrite and she forgives you. For the past year that she and I have been seeing each it is wash, rinse and repeat." Rafael felt his anger rising. Grayson took a few steps towards him.
"You don't know shit about me or my relationship with my sister." Rafael laughed sardonically.
“Oh really? I know that you let her take the brunt of what your brother did. You let her feel alone unless it as to benefit you. I was the one holding her after she watched him die. I was the one that got her through it. I’m the one that holds her when she cries. I take care of her. I know plenty.”
"Rafael..." Her tone was asking him to stop. Grayson’s anger grew.
"You’re an arrogant prick. My mother is a it about you. She’s different because of you. So you're choosing him over me? Over your parents?" Gia shook her head.
"What are you talking about? While I don't approve of his methods, he's looking out for me. I don't do ultimatums. I'm with him. I'm in love with him. I'm not going to walk away from him." Gia felt a migraine blooming behind her eyes. This was not how she had expected to end her evening.
"No. He sent another cop to interrogate our mother about some crazy "missing memory"? She almost died! She didn’t need that stress" Gia crossed her arms and clenched her jaw. It's not like she could forget that.
"I did EVERYTHING I could to get her out of that apartment in time. I took control of that situation and got everyone out. Let's not forget that she created that environment. I'm not doing this anymore Grayson. I know that something happened that summer. If I don't remember something, it's because my brain is trying to protect me from it. I don't have the luxury of just forgetting things." Rafael listened to her calm and controlled voice. She was pissed, he just wasn't sure who she was more pissed at in that moment.
"So it's her fault my psycho ex Ialmost killed her and traumatized our daughter. A situation you walked her in to." Gia closed her eyes for a moment.
"What part of your wife and her lawyer were working on visitation do you not understand? It was going to happen if not that particular day, at most a week or so later." Rafael interjected. "It was always going to happen. If you hadn't been hell bent on punishing her and sending your mother in, none of that would have happened. You and your mother created that environment." Rafael had stepped closer and Gia was physically in between them.
She put her hand on his chest signaling him to stop. It was the first time in a long time that someone had defended her so ferociously. That used to be Grayson, but somewhere along the way, he lost the plot. Before Grayson could start yelling Gia interjected.
"Enough! I'm done. I am absolutely done. I'm done with you acting like a dick, verbally attacking me and then coming back with an apology to do it all over again." She drew a circle in the air with her finger. She swallowed hard before continuing.
"I'll figure out what happened that summer, it's just very clear I won't be getting help from my brother. Which sadly, is not a surprise. I don't know how we got here. Maybe it's because I've started to heal a lot of the things that were broken in me and I'm not willing to be anyone's punching bag. You should go. Enjoy Europe. I sincerely hope it gives you time to heal. I love you, so much, but I can't keep doing this. I'm sorry you drove all the way out here. I'm sorry if our mother got upset. I don't want that for her either." She walked over to the door and opened it. Grayson stared at her.
"You want to be done? He's your family? Great. It seems like that is all that you need. Maybe Dad will be willing to stick by you, but you and I both know that he does whatever mom says. You can finally be on your own. Don't bother calling me." Grayson stormed out down the hall.
Gia didn't exactly slam the door, but she closed it harshly. Rafael watched from behind as she took a deep breath, collecting herself before she turned around. Her expression was still registering somewhere between rage and heartbreak. He would see that look in his nightmares for a long time. He never wanted to be the cause of any additional pain in her life. At the same time, he had been trying to protect her.
"How could you?" Betrayal was slowly washing over her, seeping through her veins.
"Amor, Mira...por favor, just listen." He rushed to her. When he took her hands, she yanked herself away. It was like he had the wind knocked out of him. Even on the worst day when they were in the before...the before they became them, she never recoiled from him. He couldn't pretend her doing so didn't hurt, but he understood.
"I had to do something. I feel helpless. Watching you the other night and watching you so many nights turn yourself inside out, it...it was destroying me to watch you suffer. Then you got no support from your father, even after he promised it would be different.You needed to know what she knows about that summer and if your father had said anything to her about it. I was desperate to do something to help you, anything, even the slightest bit of info might help. Something your mother would think we as nothing, could have been monumental to you. With how she behaved when they were here, I doubt she would have been honest with you. We know she doesn't think very highly of me. Olivia is the one that got Anna away from Sienna. I know people like her, she would see Olivia as an ally, or at the very least a neutral party. I highly doubt that Olivia was hard on her or "interrogated" her. You know Liv, she knows how to get people to open up. The only difference is, your family is on high alert when they talk to you. Gia, they are not on your side. They are hiding something from you. Something that is tearing you apart from the inside out. Come on...Olivia wouldn't ever do anything to jeopardize her heath." He shook his head at what he was sure was Grayson's overreaction.
"That is not the point Rafael. I trusted you and you betrayed that trust. Contrary to what you think counselor, you aren't always right." She threw her hands up.
"I know. I know. It was the only card I had to play. I just want to protect you. You protect everyone else. You've done it for Liv, for Rollins, definitely for Amaro." Her eyes narrowed at Nick's name. "Don't look at me like that. I know he has your back the way you have his. He was just the nuclear option. He hates your family. He would have pushed into far. He agreed Liv was the best option. He drove with her." Gia's eyes widened.
"You got my best friend involved and on you both decided to hide that too? Do you not realize how fucked that is? He's my person. He is my go to and you took that away from me. He's the one I would call when something like this would happen. You don't even like each other. How the hell did you get him on your side?" Gia could almost hear the blood pumping through her body.
"I don't not like Amaro." Gia crossed her arms with a look of incredulity. "Fine, we we aren't best friends but we have one connection. Our love for you. While it's not the same type of love...it's still love. He can't stand seeing you like this easier." Gia scoffed, shaking her head.
"Let me guess, you got Finn and Rollins in on it too?" The idea of being betrayed by her whole squad was making her want to melt down internally.
"No. I knew they didn't know what was going on and I wasn't going to air all of that out." Gia licked her lips, her mind racing.
"Well at least the whole department didn't completely betray me." The comment was more to herself than to Rafael, but he still heard her.
"Jesus Christ Gia, no one betrayed you. We all love you. Gia rolled her jaw, refusing to concede the point. Rafael took her silence to keep talking. "Gia...you deserve peace and the opportunity to move on. I just wanted to give that to you. So did Liv and Nick. We just want you to be okay. I promise you, I did not tell them anything they didn't know already. Even here...you've had nightmares." Gia rolled her eyes
"Well it was a waste of time. My mother likes to keep her secrets so close to the vest. She wouldn't tell me if my hair was on fire." Gia wiped the tears from her cheeks. She felt like there was ice cold water dripping down her back.
"We don't know what she said." Gia sighed and walked over to where her jacket was hanging and slid it on. She grabbed her purse and slid her shoes on. Rafael tried to cut her off.
"Gia, where are you going? Please don't leave. Please don't walk away from me. I know I fucked up, but please don't leave me." He pleaded with her. The desperate and in his eyes made her icy exterior crack just ever so slightly.
"I just, I need some air. I need, I just...I need to clear my head. If I were young I would suggest you call Olivia and find out what my mother told her, if she told her anything." Gia closed the door harshly behind her. Rafael pinched the bridge of his nose trying to compose himself before he pulled his phone to call Olivia. He hoped this wasn't all for nothing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So then you just walked out?" Amanda asked, sitting across from Gia at a high top table. Gia had asked her to meet her at a bar that she knew neither Rafael or Liv frequented very often.
"Yeah, it was either that or murder him. I figured this was the least nuclear option." Gia stirred the drink in her glass. She refused to call Nick. He may not have been the one to go and question her mother, but he also didn't give her a heads up. Amanda was quiet for a moment.
"Maybe he did you a favor." She finally said. Gia's brows knitted together.
"I'm sorry...what? Amanda, I called you because I know how much you hate other people being in your business. I need a little support here." Amanda laughed slightly.
"I know, I know. And normally I would be 100% on your team. Look, after you almost took a full on sniper bullet, Nick told me a little bit about the dynamic of your family. Especially hearing that recording. Maybe it's better that you didn't have to deal with her yourself." Gia was gobsmacked.
"So, to be clear, it's not okay for Nick to go undercover to an AA meeting to see if your boyfriend is a creep...but it is okay for Rafael to enlist Olivia and Nick to go see my mom?" Amanda was quietly thoughtful for a moment.
"I know, I know. It's hypocritical...I just think that you have been through so much pain already, he foolishly made a choice. You know Rafael, Gia. He doesn't like a hair out of place. This is not the Barba that you grew to love. With that being said, I am still on your side and will be a bitch to him in solidarity. I'm on thin ice with Liv, so I have to pick and choose my battles." Gia chuckled.
"So long as you know it's a double standard. Oh my God, I go back to work. I can't deal with this and work." Gia put her face in her hands.
"Yeah, that is rough." Rollins looked at her phone when it buzzed.
"Nick wants to know if I know where you are because you've been gone for two hours and Rafael is losing his shit and you turned the tracking off on your phone." Gia's eyes narrowed.
"Lie to him." She demanded.
"Gia..." her voice trailed off.
"Don't tell me you forgot how to lie. We both know that isn't true. I don't need any knight and shining armor showing up here." Rollins sighed.
"I'll tell him you just left my place." Rollins typed out a message.
"Now- turn off your phone, finish your drink because we are going someplace else. He's gonna track your cell phone too." Amanda couldn't help but grin.
"I kind of like this side of you." She laughed. They both downed their drinks and headed out to grab a cab to go to the other side of town. Gia knew that Nick would be walking into that bar very soon.
"Are you sure you don't want to let them know you're okay?" Amanda asked nervously.
"They all know I'm okay. They just want to badger me into forgiveness. They'll know we're together when they go to track your phone, see that it's off and that we aren't at its last location anymore." Amanda stared at her for a moment.
"How do you even know that Nick will track my phone." Gia laughed.
"I'm going to tell you what I told Nick. He and I are the same brand of crazy. If I think he's going to do something, he's probably already on his way to doing it." Amanda hummed in agreement.
"You two really are close, aren't you." Gia shrugged.
"He just, I dunno, gets me. And as angry as I am at him right now for being a dirty traitor. He's my best friend. Maybe even more so than Ali was." Gia sniffed.
"Are you...are you sure you don't want to go home?" Amanda asked quietly.
"One more stop, a couple of drinks and then I'll head back. Just to make him go out of his way for nothing. Maybe it'll teach him a lesson." It was Amanda's turn to laugh.
"Nick? Not likely." Gia glanced at Amanda out of the side of her eye.
"Seems you know him just as well as I do." Gia couldn't see in the dark of the car, but she knew Amanda was blushing.
"We are not out to talk about me." She finally said.
"I knew it." Gia said as she slapped the top of her thigh. Amanda just shook her head and refused to comment any further.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rafael could tell by her blasing cheeks that she was a little drunk. Nick had been nervously pacing a hole into the floor for the past hour. Rafael had to admire Gia's moxie. She knew Nick would track their phones and sent him on a wild goose chase for no reason. She stumbled a little when she shut the door behind her.
"Seriously?!" Nick was bursting at the seams to rip into her.
"Why are you here?" Gia quirked an eyebrow. Rafael walked over and took her jacket from her as she slipped her heels off. It was progress that she didn't yank the jacket back from him.
"You went missing for three hours." She crossed her arms, steadier now that she was flat footed.
"I did not go missing. I'm not a toddler. You have zero right tracking my phone or Amanda's. I'm an adult. I don't need anyone's permission here to do what I want or go where I want." Rafael was staying out of this one. He had tried to convince Nick to go home. Once he knew she was with Amanda, he felt better. It wasn't that she was out alone that worried him, it was that she was upset alone. He had effectively removed the two chess pieces on the board that she would have gone to.
"You know what happens in this city to women." Gia scoffed.
"Seriously? Most often than not, it's someone that they know that does it to them. Don't give me that shit. I am not your daughter. I would say I'm also not your girlfriend, but I don't think that line would matter to you either. Et tu Brute? Where is the line in the sand for you?" Rafael closed his eyes for a moment. This was going to be bad. Much worse than he anticipated because a slightly drunk Gia had no inhibitions about what came out of her mouth.
"Brute? So I'm controlling and a traitor?" Gia started clapping.
"Got it on the first try. Now I know...I know that he didn't ask you to do that. He asked if you heard from me. You said no and so you decided to track my phone. Saw that it was off and tried the very next person you thought I'd call, because you knew it wasn't going to be Olivia. You also knew that Amanda would lie for me. Lucky for me, I know you and I knew that you would check to see if she was at home. Does that sound about right?" She tipped her head to the side.
"So is that how you really see me?" It was Nick's turn to cross his arms in front of him.
"It's now it is Nick. You hunted down Maria's friend and punched him out because you assumed she was cheating instead of communicating like an adult. You did the same thing with Rollins and ended up punching out an under cover NYPD Lieutenant. You don't think, you just act. Like how little respect do you have for me that you would invade my privacy like that? Or help him and Liv go behind my back? I wouldn't EVER do that to you...ever." The amount of regret Rafael was feeling was overwhelming. He never should have involved Amaro. Had he kept him out of it, she would have been sitting in a bar with him or in his couch torching him instead of in a screaming match.
"Okay...okay. Let's stop this here. Nick, maybe it's time to go. It'll give everyone a chance to cool down." Rafael quickly stepped in between the two of them. He could tell by Nick's face he was about to say something he would likely regret.
"Gladly." Nick said, grabbing his coat and storming out. Gia winced slightly when the door slammed. Gia made to stride past Rafael but he grabbed her arm. She didn't yank it away l, which he took as a win.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for Amaro to do any of that. I just...I hated the idea of you being upset on your own. I heard you last time about you being able to take care of yourself." She was looking down, and when she met his eyes, hers were filled with unshed tears. Her lack of response gave him the courage to continue.
"I'm glad you had Rollins to confide in. I know...I know that I stupidly took away both of the people you confide in. I'm sorry. I will never stop being sorry for all of this." Gia nodded. She let him press his lips to her temple before he let her arm go and she silently headed into her bedroom.
He picked up his glass of scotch and downed it before going to pour himself another glass. He wanted to give Gia a little time before he went to bed. They would talk tomorrow, when she had a clear head and some time to process her anger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gia groaned as she woke up. Her head was pounding and her mouth felt like it was covered in the paste that she used in preschool. It took a moment for the events of the night before to surge back. Everything was a mess, which seemed to be business as usual.
She didn't know what she felt worse about, fighting with Rafael or fighting with Nick. She hadn't even taken Olivia into consideration. She looked to the side and saw it void of Rafael there was a white Gatorade, ibuprofen and a note.
"Went to see my mom. We can talk when I get back. X- Raf"
Gia grabbed the bottle of medicine, threw 4 in her hand and chugged down some of the drink. She should have drank water before she went to bed. She had been so angry, she hadn't even really changed. She had just ripped her jeans off, tossed them on the floor along with her bra. She went to sleep in her cropped long sleeved shirt and her underwear.
"Super classy Gia." She stretched and reached for her phone. The amount of text messages from Olivia were immense. She ignored them. There was one from Rollins asking her how she felt this morning and if she felt as badly as she did. She sent a quick response. Nothing from Nick. Definitely nothing from Grayson.
Gia laid her head back down on her pillow. Rafael had come to bed late. She knew he was giving her more space. She had hoped to be asleep by the time he came to bed. She still slept towards the middle. She had still been crying when he came to bed, which made it all worse. Despite the metaphorical space between them, he rubbed her back until she fell asleep. Part of her hated that she still needed him regardless if now angry she was with. She knew they would find a way through it. She was forever his. She grabbed her phone when it rang.
"Hey Rollins" her voice was hoarse.
"I see smoking all of my cigarettes did wonders for you." Gia laughed.
"Sorry, pack on me tomorrow. Scouts honor." That made Rollins laugh.
"I heard, uh, you and Nick got into a fight. Like an epic fight." Gia snickered.
"Oh yeah? Before or after you had sex?" Rollins yelped.
"I don't want Barba to know. No one knows!" Gia laughed, hard.
"Literally everyone knows. But Barba is with his mom, so relax." She heard Rollins sigh.
"You think you and Nick will get over it? Or you and Liv?" Gia chewed on her inner cheek.
"Yeah, but it might take some time. Especially with Nick." The thought of that made her heart hurt slightly.
"What about Barba?" Gia was quiet for a moment.
"Well, he's Cuban and thinks he's never wrong and will try to litigate it. I, am a firey half-Italian and half-Latina with a long ass mouth who always has to have the last word. There will be fights, but yeah, we'll get over it." She could tell Rollins was holding her opinion for a moment.
"Maybe just have some hate sex and get it over with. It helps. Get all of that frustration out." Gia rolled her eyes.
"On that note, I'm going to get into to shower." she heard a small chuckle.
"I'll see you in the morning?" Gia understood her uncertainty.
"Yea. I'll be there. I'll talk to you later. Gia hung up and slowly climbed out of bed. She picked up her jeans and bra and tossed them into the hamper.
She made her way into the bathroom to turn the shower on. Work tomorrow meant her hair routine, but getting the cigarette smell out of her hair. Rafael didn't even mention it.
When she was finally done, she opened the bathroom door clean shorts and a t-shirt on, steam billowing behind her, hair full of product and dried. She jumped when she saw Rafael sitting on the edge of their bed.
"Jesus." She held her hand to her chest, her knees buckling slightly.
"I didn't think you were ever coming out, but then I remembered work tomorrow and the hair..." his face trailed off. She could tell by his eyes he didn't sleep. He must have stayed up all night watching her. He hadn't shaved his face.
"How's your mom?" She asked as she put her shirt and underwear from the night prior in the hamper on top of her jeans that she had placed in there before her shower.
"She's fine." She could feel his proximity, the heat of his body near her. When she turned slowly, he was right behind her.
"What Rafael?" His green eyes were burning into hers.
"Really? Are we still fighting?" The dry sarcasm in his voice grated on her nerves. He saw the fire reignite in ber eyes.
"Yes, we are still fighting. You went behind my back and didn't even tell me. I found out from my brother. That relationship is effectively toast. Because regardless of what you did? I can't walk away from you. You consume every ounce of my being...but how can I ever trust you again?" She brushed past him so she wasn't cornered in near her chair.
"How can you trust me again? All I did was try to protect you. No one has ever protected you. Not your parents, not your brother, nunca, nada! Do you think you don't consume me? I have never and will never love anyone the way I love you. You're in for me. I'm all in. I will always be all in. There is nothing you could ever do to make me walk away." Gia stared at him with incredulity.
"You don't get to just unilaterally make decisions without me! Especially when they are about ME!" Her voice had a slight shrill tone to it. His eyes went hard.
"Like how you decided to throw yourself into danger when there was someone in your apartment?" He avoided saying Ali's name. "Or how you unilaterally decided to throw yourself in front of a sniper bullet. That affects me too. Want me to keep going?" Gia shook her head.
"Keep going? We...we weren't even together when I got attacked! We talked about this." He stepped towards her and gently pulled her to him. It wasn't threatening, nothing he did was ever threatening. They stated intently into each other's eyes again.
"We weren't together...but we were. You can't tell me that you didn't want me that night." He leaned in and his nose ran across her cheek so he could speak quietly in her ear. She couldn't help herself, she place a hand on each side of his torso. "You knew how badly I wanted you. You can't tell me you didn't. I was doing the right thing, giving you time to heal. And then I almost lost you...and then I did for over a month." She felt his lips lingering near her ear.
"That's not fair." She whispered.
"What wasn't fair was when you came over here after a month in that short, tight dress and red heels that matched your lips. But I couldn't...we couldn't. Then you went out...don't you see how you make unilateral decisions all of the time that effect me? I just wanted to take care of you...just for once to shield you from as much as I could." She inhaled his scent, sandlewood tickling her nose.
"You're still not being fair." She pulled him closer to her.
"When have you ever been fair?" She let out a shaking breath, still holding onto him. "I'm not sorry for trying to protect you. I am sorry for involving Liv and Nick. I should have gone on my own. I won't lie, I'm not sorry if it drove a wedge between you and those people. They have done nothing but cause you harm, pain...so much pain. She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. She felt his hand slide up her cheek into her hair.
"Rafael..." he ran his thumb over her bottom lip to release it from her teeth.
"Please look at me." Her eyes fluttered open to see a softer look in his.
"I love you, more than anything. I'm sorry I hurt you. I promise that you can still trust me. I didn't tell anyone anything they didn't already know. I would never...never tell anyone things you tell me in confidence." Gia felt the anger towards him deflate from her body.
"I know." Her voice was still a little raspy from the copious amount of cigarettes the night before. She didn't want to relent. She wanted to hold onto her anger, but he could see her wavering slightly.
"I'm sorry things are such a mess between you and Nick. I didn't forsee him doing all of that last night. I swear...I just didn't want you to be alone." She could feel her anger brewing again, when she tried to pull away, he held onto her. She was about to rip into him, but she saw the tears in his eyes. Rafael Barba did a lot of things, crying wasn't one of them. They weren't for show. He may have been hard headed, but never manipulative. She pulled him all the way in so he could hold her, her head resting against his chest. Any ounce of anger had drifted away.
"I know, Raf...I know." If she was being honest, she hasn't thought about how what she was dealing with affected him. The sleepless nights, the anxiety and panic attacks, the obsessiveness...She hadn't ever really had to worry about it. She never let anyone close enough to see that side of her.
"Please don't push me away again. I don't know if I would survive loosing you." His voice was full of emotion. She pulled away slightly so she could look at him. She placed her hand on his cheek, running her thumb over his stubble.
"Nunca." She pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. She had never had anyone that wanted to protect her like this before. Maybe she had to figure out how to let him.
"I'm sorry....I love you...I'm so so sorry." He whispered into her neck. She held onto him tightly. If anyone deserved grace from her, it was Rafael Barba.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rafael had unwillingly fell asleep. He had been up all night looking over Gia. Once he was out, she left him a note that she ran out for a bit and not to worry.
"Wow, your hair looks phenomenal, but the rest of you looks like crap Gee." Gia grinned at Fin. She was starving and she needed someone that would tell it to her straight.
"Listen, it was a rough night." After the waitress took her order and she got some coffee into her system, she told Finthe whole story. He didn't interrupt her, he could tell she needed to unburden herself. He was actually surprised that she was even telling him all of this. He usually got an abridged version from Amaro or Liv, and only the information he either needed to know or that Gia was willing to share. This was new territory.
"Amaro is out of his mind." Fin finally said. Gia had wiped a tear from her eye. She was trying not I get worked up again.
"I get being concerned. But he treats me like a little girl. Fin, I have lived in this city since I was 16 years old. The only time that I have ever been in danger is when I literally put myself there. I'm not this helpless damsel." Fin let out a little chuckles
"Listen. I know that. I have seen you take out grown men. Hell, you saved your own life by driving a heel into some dicks temple. You and Amaro are like gasoline and a lighter." It seemed everyone knew her a lot better than she thought. She had spent so much time trying to hide her past and who she was, it was pointless.
"You know, when he told me he was testifying at the grand jury I lost it. I told him that we were the same brand of crazy." Fin let out a deep laugh.
"I would say you're like the diet version of whatever Amaro is." Gia purses her lips and nodded. "Look, he went way over the line, That man...he loves you like family." Gia held up her hand.
"I know that Fin, I really do. I feel the same. I'm severely claustrophobic. Like my hands shake in an elevator claustrophobic. When he and Rafael act like this; it's a different version of boxing me in. I feel like I can't breathe." Gia closed her eyes and bit her upper lip.
"Have you told them that?" She shook her head no. "I know you have a hard time opening up, with what you've been through. I don't blame you. You have to tell them though." Gia nodded.
"I know. I've tried. Maybe I'm just not saying it the right way. Sometimes I think Nick doesn't want to hear it though." She finally answered.
"You forgave Barba." Fin pointed out. He watched as Gia contemplated her response as she worked on her second cup of coffee.
"Ish... and it's different. You know that Fin. He and I are...he's seen how my mother is, the aftermath of my brother...everything. What I put him through...and he never wavered on me. I don't want to say something gross like he 'completes me' or something...but he's..." her voice trailed off.
"I get it. You love him, unconditionally. Truthfully, I think you feel the same about Amaro, just a different kind of love." Gia looked down, but didn't respond so Fin took it as the option to continue.
"You feel the same way about Liv." Gia's head shot up. "You trust her, the same way you trust Nick and almost the same way you trust Barba. I know he's the top of your list. You go to her for everything. You just started opening up to Rollins and me." Gia signed.
"Fin..." she started, then her voice trailed off.
"You don't have to say anything. I'm not mad, I get it. It took you time. It's all good. You and Nick started together, Liv is your mentor and you fell in love with Barba. You're still my girl. I'll always have your back and I know you have mine. I'm just glad you thought to call me to talk things out. Just...don't push Liv away. She meant well and she didn't want Barba to send someone else." Gia let out another sigh.
"I know. It's why I didn't lose it on her. I still don't even know what my mother told her. I haven't seen her. After Grayson showed up and then Nick, there wasn't time."
Gia took a bite of the waffles that had been placed front of her.
"You called me because you wanted my advice right? Well, finish your waffles and really and truly make up with your man. Also, don't hold a grudge against Liv. Find out what your mom told her, give her a break. As far as Amaro, make him pay for it a little. It'll be good for him." Fin shook his head and laughed.
"You're right." She couldn't hold it against Liv. Rafael put her in a tough place and she needed to know what her mother told her. Gianna needed to know what happened that summer.
"I'm always here for you. I just need to get you playing video games." Gia rolled her eyes and took another bite of her food.
"That is not happening. Thank Fin." Gia smiled again, digging back into her food.
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The apartment was quiet when Gia closed the door behind her. Rafael wasn't in their bed when she made it to their room. She dropped her purse inside of the doorway and then made her way down the hall to his office. She could hear him writing, but he wasn't at his desk. She crossed her arms leaning against the doorway watching him work from the couch, bent over the coffee table.
"Are we lurking in doorways now?" He asked after a moment, setting his pen down and looking up at her.
"I am not lurking, just watching. I didn't want to interrupt." He gave her a faint smile and opened his arm up to gesture for her to sit next to him. She took him by surprise when she slid into his lap and pressed her forehead against his temple. He knew they had broken through earlier, but he expected her to still be a little frosty.
"What is it? Are you okay?" His arm had wrapped around her waist.
"A little hung over. A little anxious." He ran comforting circles on her back.
"Both of which are my fault." She pulled back so she could look at him.
"Rafael, stop. I don't want to do this with you. I don't want to fight with you. I certainly don't want you blaming yourself for my hangover. I just want to move past this. There can't be secrets between us. You can't go behind my back like that. I don't do secrets, lies or anything in that category. I know I haven't been fair to you and I'm sorry. I've never let anyone else in to all of this. I didn't think about how it was affecting you. I understand why you did what you did. We just, we can't do it that way." She stood up. He followed suit.
"Hey, hey...you don't owe me an apology. Gia-" she cut him off and took his hands.
"Yes I do. I have put so much on you and just expected you to take it. We're supposed to be in it together, all of it, together. It didn't even cross my mind how all of this was effecting you. You stay up with me when I can't sleep. Wake me up from nightmares. At my bedside in the hospital when I do something dumb." He slid a hand up her arm and rested it on the side of her neck.
"There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you." The sincerity on his face squeezed her heart slightly.
"I know that." He pulled her close to hug her and rested his chin on top of her head.
"You have my word, I won't ever do anything like this again." He felt her nod her head against him. He could stand there with her in his arms all day, but there was a pile of work waiting for him. When he let her go, there was something unsaid in her expression.
"I need to know what my mother told Olivia." He nodded.
"Well, she wouldn't tell her anything." Gia scoffed. Rafael went over to his desk and grabbed an envelope that was sealed. "She wrote this for you instead." Gia almost yanked it from his hands and ripped it open. He watched as her eyes read it rapidly.
"Useless." She said and shoved the letter at him. "I have a headache. I'm going to take something for that and my anxiety and take a nap. You can get back to your work." He didn't look at the letter.
"Wait, Gianna" she stopped and turned to look at him.
"It's not you." She shook her head. "I just...all of this was for nothing. It doesn't matter. I'm on my own in this." He sighed.
"You're not alone!" He didn't mean to snap at her, but her face softened. She walked over and kissed him lightly on the lips. He could could faintly taste maple syrup on her lips.
"I didn't mean you. I know you're with me...but you weren't there. I know I have your support, but you can't give me answers. The only people that can...won't. Don't let me sleep too long and don't work for too long either, okay?" He nodded. When he heard their bedroom door shut, he looked at the letter.
"Gianna,
I know you didn't want to come to me for help. Whether it's because you didn't want to upset me or didn't trust me to be honest...and I couldn't blame you for not trusting me.
There are things you don't know, about things between your father and I. It's information that I won't share...I can't. I wish I had answers for you from that summer. The truth is, your father and I barely spoke that summer. We needed a break.
Your friend here tells me that you're certain your father is lying to you. If you think he is, I would bet everything I own on your intuition. I will talk to your brother, if I find out anything, you have my word I will let you know.
I know we haven't spoken, but I wanted to thank you for saving my life. I'm not sure when I'll see you next so I wanted to thank you for saving my life. I never would have gotten out of there if not for you.
Please take care of yourself,
Mom"
Rafael sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. That letter would create more questions than answers for Gia. It truly had been for nothing. He tossed the letter on his desk and followed Gia down to their room. His work could wait.
She looked at him wide eyed when he opened the door. She had tear tracks down her face.
"I didn't want to interrupt your work." She swallowed.
"It can wait." She shook her head. "Gianna, it can wait. Talk to me." She wiped her eyes and slammed the jeans she had just folded onto her chair.
"None of them can help me...or they won't help me. Things about it her and my dad she won't tell me? What the fuck does that even mean? And then Grayson went off the deep end because she was actually trying to help me. So was he really mad or is he helping my father lie to me? I'm going to go crazy. I have these flashes, I keep hearing this stupid laugh. What if I'm absolutely loosing my mind?" She was pacing and speaking quickly.
"Amor, I'm sorry. This is my fault." She waved him off.
"No, no it isn't. I would have ended up in this same spot, just maybe a month from now. I don't know what to do." She put her hand over her mouth, shaking slightly. He led her over to their bed to have her sit down.
"We will figure something out. I told you, I am in this with you. I think that you need to start looking like this as a detective and not as a daughter. We start piecing it together. You have solved every single case you've been given since I've known you. You'll get this one too." She rubbed her forehead.
"While working as an actual full time detective." She was chewing on her lip, in the way that he knew meant her insides were screaming.
"Take a longer leave." He offered. She shook her head no.
"No, I can't. I need to get back to my job. Staying in this apartment obsessing without any real leads, I'll go off the deep end." Rafael opened up her bedside table, pulled out her anxiety medication and handed her a pill. She dry swallowed it. He shook his head and walked out of the room and after a few seconds he was back and handed her a bottle of water. She took a few gulps.
"Then you tell me what you want to do." She leaned against the headboard, silent for a few minutes.
"I have to keep trying to trigger a full memory, something that will point me in the right direction." Rafael climbed into the bed next to her and opened his arms so she could lay in them. Her head, rested on his chest.
"How do you plan on doing that?" She had an answer much more quickly than he had anticipated.
"I call Dr. Lindstrom. I like my therapist, I really do...but I think he can help me more with this. Shit, I need to talk to Olivia before tomorrow." Gia hadn't even thought about it until right then.
"You don't have to do that today." He protested.
"I do...I can't go into the station and have any sort of weirdness between us." She knew it was going to be hard enough with her and Nick. Liv was CO now, she didn't want this to be aired out in her office.
"Then why don't you rest for a little bit. I promise, I won't let you sleep long. Then you can call her okay?" He felt her head nod, and he pulled her a little closer. There had to be a way to help her, he just was at a loss on how.
"I love you." She finally said after a while of silence.
"I love you too. Now get some rest, you're going to want a clear head when you talk to Olivia. He heard her hum in appreciation as he started massaging her scalp with his finger tips. It wasn't long after that he felt he breathing even out. He could have gone down and gotten his files and worked on them in their room while she slept, but he didn't want to let her go. Instead, he wanted to stay in the moment with her.
I am an absolute menace. I have a half written chapter of Burn the Shadow, Two Cent Men and some new requests…but I can’t get this out of my head.
Slow burn Steve Harrington x OC!Hopper fic for Stranger Things. But we are slow burning it because well…the angst is the best part.
I’m sure there should be an adult themes warning for future chapters.
I’m not even sorry…😆
Enjoy!!
"Hooppppsss!" Ruby's head snapped up when she heard him yelling her name near the baggage claim. There was Steve Harrington standing with a sign with her last name and a small bouquet of yellow roses, her favorite. She rushed over to him, dropping her bag next to him and throwing her arms around his neck to hug him. She felt his arms wrap around her tightly as he hugged her back.
"I missed you, your highness." Ruby gave him a little bow after she detached herself from him.
"C'mon, cut it out." Steve sheepishly ran his fingers through his hair, a constant attempt to hide his unease.
"Well, I mean, you're mister popular now. "King Steve." I'm surprised you're even allowed to hang out with me." She smiled and took her flowers from him and inhaled them deeply.
He studied her for a moment. Her wavy ash blonde hair that was cut in a long shag, cascading down her back. Her hair definitely came from her mother, but her blue eyes were an exact replica of her father's. Any time she glared at him, mockingly or otherwise, he saw the Chief of Police. Her pushed her shoulder lightly.
"Cut it out. You're the coolest person I know. Everyone loves you." She rolled her eyes.
He wasn't wrong. Ruby was well liked and well regarded, but she didn't consider herself popular. In her opinion, she had friends that were surface level friends. People she would talk to, but not seek out their company. Of course there were a few boys she entertained, but nothing serious. If she was being totally honest with herself, Steve had been her only true friend for as long as she could remember.
Ruby hadn't been planned. Her mother Betty and Hopper had dated casually before he met Diane. Diane had been gracious and welcomed Ruby like she was her own daughter. When Hopper and Diane moved to New York, Ruby's mother moved the two of them from Chicago to New York as well. Ruby needed her father. While Ruby loved her mother beyond measure, Betty knew she was a Daddy's girl, always. The one thing about Betty was that she would do whatever was best for her daughter. That included keeping her family unit whole.
Not long after they moved, Betty had died. It had been devastating. Diane had found a way to balance stepping in as a mother figure without trying to take Betty's place. Sara had been such a bright light for Ruby until she was snuffed out. Ruby's life had fallen to pieces once again. Another mother gone. Ruby and her father held on tightly to each other and then ended up in Hawkins.
Being the new girl in 5th grade was tough enough. Being the new girl in the small town of Hawkins was terrifying. Her old school was huge; in tiny Hawkins, there was no where to hide.
It started with "Harrington, Steven." and then "Hopper, Ruby." Apparently alphabetical order was the only way Hawkins Elementary organized their students. Ruby had effectively ignored Steve until lunch. She found a seat and a few moments later Steve sat down across from her.
He had been intrigued by her. She had an air of mystery around her. Everyone knew she was from New York City, but they also knew she was the daughter of a police officer. She was almost mythic. The other students whispered, but not Steve. He sat with her every single day and slowly, she opened up to him. Their friendship was probably the only reason her father hadn't thrown him into the holding cell over night after one of his parties. Though he would deny it to his dying breath, he liked Steve. He appreciated him befriending his daughter.
"No. They don't love me. They love you, so they tolerate me. They think if they pretend to be friends with me, I can keep them out of trouble with my dad. But what they like the most? I'm always willing to be the designated driver." Steve's eyebrows knitted together. He didn't understand how she couldn't see herself the way other people did.
"You're ridiculous. Come on, let's get the hell out of here." He slung her bag over his shoulder and put a leading hand on the small of her back to lead her out of the airport and towards his BMW.
She felt incredibly aware of the hand on her lower back. She had learned a long time ago to ignore the stirring inside of her. Steve was her best friend, there was no crossing that line. She was his wing woman and on occasion, he returned the favor. Though Ruby was far more picky than Steve. Other than her father, Steve was the only other constant in her life. After years of loss and instability, she refused to rock any boat.
When they reached the car, Steve rushed over to open her door for her before he put her bag in the back seat. When he got into the driver's seat, he has the chance to look her over again. She was wearing these acid washed denim overall shorts with a black tank top underneath. He could tell that if the overalls weren't covering it, that tank top would show just the tiniest bit of skin close to her navel. As always, she was wearing a pair of ADIDAS sneakers of which she had many. Steve wondered when she'd move on to Nike's, but she never did.
After retiring, her grandparents- Betty's parents, had moved from Chicago to Tampa. The distance made it hard for her to see them, so she planned a month long visit in the middle of the summer. The sun had brought out light blonde highlights in her hair and freckles smattered across her cheeks. As usual, she wore very little makeup, just some mascara and lip gloss. Steve had always marveled at her effortlessness.
"You are super tan. How was the sunshine state?" He asked as he was getting himself settled into the driver's seat. Ruby's face scrunched up.
"Muggy and buggy. I felt like I was melting the entire time I was there. I thought we had humidity here, we got nothing on Florida. That amazing head of hair you have would not survive. I looked like one of those freaking plants...what are they called?" Steve started laughing.
"A Chia Pet?!" Ruby's face lit up.
"Yesssss...one of those. I hate that they moved down there. It was miserable. Though I did love the Ocean." She stretched her legs to put her feet up, she was barely settled when she felt Steve's hand smack her on her thigh.
"Feet off the dash, who raised you?" She gave him a scathing look before putting her legs down, rubbing the spot where he smacked her.
"That was rude." Steve scoffed.
"What would be rude is if we got into a car accident and you lost both of your legs because they were on the dashboard." Ruby snickered.
"You get into an accident and my father will never let me ride with you again." That made Steve chuckle.
"I can't believe he let me pick you up from the airport." Ruby mused.
"He's getting soft in his old age, I keep telling you he doesn't hate you.." Steve gave her an incredulous look.
"The man cleans his gun when I'm there. It's more that you have him wrapped around your little finger." Ruby shrugged and Steve rolled his eyes. He pulled out a cassette tape and waved it up and down. "Since you were gone for an entire month, I had time to make you the ultimate tape." Her eyes narrowed as the first song started playing. Steve grinned at her.
"Well, I took my Ruby juking on the outskirts of town..." rang out from the speakers of his BMW.
"You are the worst. I hate you." She crossed her arms in front of her.
"Oh come onnnnnn. It's the song your Dad named you after." Steve put the car in gear and headed towards the highway.
"It's so embarrassing. He sings it, now you sing it." Ruby huffed.
"This is at least the Johnny Cash version and not Warren Smith." Steve pointed out.
"It's the only reason why I didn't throw the tape out the window." Steve held his hand to his chest, mocking being shocked.
"You are cranky, traveling makes you mean. Where to m'lady?" She grinned.
"Hawkin's PD. I want to see my dad." Steve had already been planning to go there, he knew her, but he wanted to double check all the same.
He knew not seeing her father for a month had to feel like a century to her. She spent a considerable amount of her free time with him, willingly. Steve was sure it was why he let her go out to parties on occasion.
She never stayed long enough to be there if and when it got out of control. He knew Jim Hopper kind of liked that once she got her license, she made sure her friends got home safe. It still surprised him all the same. He was still shocked that Chief Hopper let Steve be anywhere in her orbit.
Steve was tapping along to the music on the steering wheel. After Queen, Def Leppard, Michael Jackson and Prince, Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart came on. He was surprised by her lack of reaction. These were all songs that she loved. When he glanced over, she had curled into herself, her arm bent on the window with her head resting against it, asleep.
It still surprised him that she willingly spent her time with him. Moreover, she trusted him. She would never have fallen asleep on a longish drive if she didn't trust him implicitly. She told him all of her secrets. Some of them, he wished she didn't. He hated hearing about her and any other guy. He didn't think anyone was good enough for her. He and Jim Hopper had that in common.
She was his first real and true friend. She was his first kiss. They were scared to try it with someone they didn't know, someone that mattered. Little did Steve know that she would be the one that mattered the most. He knew that he wasn't in her league, not even close. She was so smart and talented. He felt that he was just lucky to hold any space in her life.
She brought this tattered sketch book with her everywhere. He was the only one she showed any of her work to, but never what was in that book. Every year she had a piece in their art show. Listening to her laugh and sing along to music in his car was always a highlight for him. He smiled to himself and let her sleep as he drove them back into Hawkins.
His mind wandered to the upcoming school year. He wanted it to be different, he wanted to be different. He just didn't know how to be better. As he crossed the town line, he reached over to shake her awake slightly. He had scared her and she shot upright.
"Whoa...easy." He watched as her eyes blinked rapidly, realizing where she was.
"Did you let me sleep the whole way?! I'm sorry!" She looked at him wide eyed, covering her mouth.
"Shush. You were tired...and cranky." Her eyes narrowed the same way her father's did and she flipped him off. He further mocked his outrage. "This? From the daughter of our Police Chief." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Shut it, Harrington." He grinned at her. She leaned back into her seat and took in the sights of boring Hawkins, Indiana. Its flat rolling plains were the textbook definition of what happened in Hawkins- absolutely nothing. She would have killed to live closer to a city, any city at this point.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" Steve asked after the silence ran on too long for his liking.
"How much fun we would have if we lived in a real city." He glanced at her, a wistful look in her eyes.
"There is always after High School." She hummed.
"You'd love Chicago. And that wind in your hair? You'd have all the ladies." He shook his head.
"Think your dad would let us take a trip to Chicago?" Ruby burst out laughing at the absurdity. "Yeah, I didn't think so either." He mumbled as he pulled into the station. She almost jumped out as the car was still moving. Steve wished he got that excited over seeing his own father.
"Are you coming?" She stopped short and turned around. He got out and leaned on his car.
"No, I'll wait out here. Let you have your reunion. Take your time." Ruby's brows furrowed, but she didn't argue.
She grinned as she walked into the station. As much as she was annoyed by Hawkins in general, she loved that her father seemed content. That was enough for her to keep her mouth shut about it. She had two years before she had to make any decisions about her future.
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"Hey Flo!" Ruby's infectious excitement made her smile.
"Well there she is. He's been waiting for you. Griping about "that Harrington kid" not getting his daughter home in one piece." Flo shook her head.
"He's rather dramatic isn't he?" Ruby laughed. It must have been that sound that made her father's door fly open.
"Is that my girl?" Ruby grinned at the familiar deep timber of her father's voice. It never ceased to amaze Flo how Ruby turned the Chief into a completely different man. Ruby rushed over to her father to give him a hug.
"I missed you." Despite her dislike of Hawkins, she was happy to be home. She had her father and her best friend. That was all she needed to be happy.
"I missed you too baby. Did the boy just drop you off and expect you to walk home from here?" Ruby scoffed and pulled away from her father.
"Stop calling Steve "The Boy" or "That Harrington Kid". He's been my best friend since 5th grade, you really have to get over it. To answer your question, no. He's patiently waiting outside, probably because you call him "The Boy" and clean your gun when he comes over." Hopper couldn't help but laugh.
"I did it for Flo. She was sick of getting calls about it being loud at his house. You should have seen him Flo. He turned sheet white." Ruby took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"If you're going to be mean, I'm leaving." She crossed her arms. All 5'3" of her turned to pure sass. Quite possibly the only one that could get away with it when it came to Jim Hopper.
"Alright, alright." Hopper held his hands up in mock surrender. "C'mon, I'll walk you out and even say thank you." Ruby gave him a suspicious look.
"Bye Flo." Ruby smiled as Flo waved her out. She laughed a little when she saw Steve, who had been leaning against his car, jump to stand up straight when he saw her father.
"Harrington." Her father greeted. Ruby had to admit it was a small improvement. Steve was still silent, but he took his sun glasses off. "Thank you for getting my daughter back to me in one piece."
"Of...of course. You're welcome." Steve had his hand on the back of his neck, but he made solid eye contact with Hopper. Ruby was impressed.
"I'm going to be home a little late." Hopper reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Why don't you take my daughter to grab something to eat and to a movie." The money hung between Hopper and Steve for a moment.
"Su...sure." Steve wasn't quite sure what to make of this development. A meal with a movie on any side of it was date like behavior and while Ruby had been firm with her father that Steve was absolutely not a boyfriend, this was still not normal Hopper behavior.
"Wait, what?!" Ruby uttered out.
"Didn't you just ask me to be nice? You've been gone for a month. I don't want you home alone and I definitely don't want the two of you alone in my house." It still didn't track. Ruby spent many evenings alone when her father worked late.
"That's quite the 180." Ruby quipped.
"Take the win Kid." Hopper turned to head back into the station. "Just keep your hands to yourself Harrington. I have eyes everywhere!" Hopper yelled as he headed back to the station.
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"He's hiding something." Ruby finally spoke after a few moments of silence. Steve had finally stopped sweating from nerves.
"He knows I would never take advantage of you, right?" He glanced at her.
"Will you grow a backbone?" Ruby said in annoyance.
"Seriously?" Steve was taken aback by her comment.
"Yeah, sorry. I just, he's being weird. I can't even think of what he would be..." Ruby's voice trailed off.
"What just happened?" Steve felt even more confused.
"I bet you he's dating someone. That's why he's going to be late. We should spy on him." It was Steve's turn to laugh.
"Absolutely not! No, not happening! We are going to get something to eat and to a movie. C'mon, even if your dad is dating someone, give him a chance to tell you himself. He's not going to bring anyone around he isn't serious about. Plus, maybe he'll be nicer." Ruby thought about what Steve said for a moment.
"Okay, you're right." Steve's head whipped to the side to look at her.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Ruby laughed.
"One, don't get used to hearing it. Two, eyes on the road Harrington."
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Ruby sat wide eyed in the passenger seat of Steve's car on their way to her house. She could not believe she let him convince her to see Cujo. She knew for a fact she was going to regret it.
Steve, of course, chose it for a very specific reason. The only time he got to be really close to her was during a scary movie when she would forget herself and bury her head into him. It would first start out with her grabbing his hand when she jumped. Cujo gave him all of those benefits, even being able to put his arm around her and hold her close to him to "keep her safe". He almost felt bad, almost.
"If you weren't so tan from Florida I'm pretty sure you'd be white as a ghost right now." She smacked him in the arm. "Ow...driving."
"You are not funny. I am so picking the next movie and it is going to be the cheesiest romcom you have ever seen. I do not know how I let you talk me into that shit again." Steve had to bite back a smile.
"No one can turn down the Harrington charm." He shrugged, he could almost hear her rolling her eyes.
"You're disgusting." She pouted in the passenger seat.
"Want me to sneak in to help you through your nightmares?" He joked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"My father would sniff out your Farrah Fawcett spray before your feet hit the carpet." Steve gasped.
"That...that was a swing set confession that you promised to not repeat." The swing sets had been where they shared their deepest darkest secrets as kids. Now, when they wanted to tell each other something that no one else could know, they would declare it a "swing set confession".
"That means that I don't tell anyone else. It does not mean I don't get to make fun of you about it in private." Ruby could barely contain her laugh.
"You know Hopps, you really know how to wound a guys ego." He shook his head.
"Someone has to keep you humble Harrington." As they turned down her street, she was actually excited to sleep in her own bed, Hawkins be damned.
She could see her house in the distance. It was a small 2 bedroom house, close to The Henderson's. When they first moved to Hawkins, Hopper had planned on getting a trailer, or even staying at his Grandfather's cabin. Then he thought about Ruby and the other kids at school. He didn't want her to be teased, so he found them something modest but perfect for the two of them. Ruby's eyes narrowed as she saw her father leaning against a car she had never seen before.
"Who's car is that?" Steve asked the question that had been on the tip of her tongue.
"Uh and where the hell is mine?" As soon as Steve parked in the road in front of her house she jumped out and slammed the door. She was ready to interrogate her father the way he would a suspect but before she could utter a word, he grinned.
"Surprised?" He asked with a grin. Ruby had a puzzled look on her face. Steve slowly approached, watching the interaction with anticipation.
"What do you mean?" All ideas of questioning her father's whereabouts and intentions gone.
"You know, for being so smart, sometimes kid, you make me wonder. The car! It's yours." She looked at the black car in the driveway, it had a red stripe down the bottom of the door and a hatch back.
"I...I already have a car." Ruby still felt confused.
"Hopps, it's a 2.2 Dodge Charger, the one you were drooling over at the end of school." Steve mentioned. Her inability to grasp what was happening was hilarious to him. Her father clapped her hands together
"Happy Birthday!" Ruby looked back at Steve and then back to her father.
"My birthday was in December." Steve threw his hands up and her father put his arm around her and pulled her towards the car.
"I know, I know. But, your other one needed too much work and you deserve something nice. So consider it an early birthday gift." Ruby blinked a few times.
"Really?" She whispered.
"Yes, really! You deserve it. You have a 3.8 GPA, you babysit Henderson and Harrington. You work so hard, so I wanted you to have something nice, that will last you." The realization finally hit her and she threw her arms around her father's neck.
"Thank you!" He hugged her tightly until she yanked herself away. "Wait, you knew you traitor?!" She pointed at Steve.
"What can I say, I can keep a secret." He shrugged.
"So did you guys bond while I was gone?" Steve licked his lips but didn't say anything.
"Yeah, no. Did you really think I'd pay for Harrington to take you on a date. Do you know your father at all?" Her text book eye roll followed.
"It's not a date if you're friends." It wasn't even a protest anymore. She just felt the need to remind him. "Wait...all my stuff, my mixtapes-" Hopper stopped her before she could finish.
"Art supplies are neatly in a box in the backseat. Tapes are in the glove box." He couldn't help but laugh when she held her hand to her heart in relief.
For all of her protesting, he knew Steve Harrington made all of those mixtapes. The fact that she was acting like they were the most valuable thing in the world told him all he needed to know. Even if she didn't know it yet.
"Can I take Steve for a ride?!" Her eyes lit up. It was her father's turn to roll his, but he handed her the keys to her car. She actually squeeled as Steve made his way to the car.
"Don't go too fast. Don't be gone to long and Harrington, don't get too familiar." Hopper warned.
"Wouldn't dream of it sir!" Steve said before he quickly got into the car. Ruby backed out of the driveway to head down the block. For as many protests her father made about her friendship with Steve, he made sure to take the hot pink rabbit's foot key chain off of her old keys and put it on to her new set. Steve had gotten it for her last year as a present when she got her first car.
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"But I don't need a babysitter anymore mom!" Dustin was protesting when Ruby made her way into the Henderson household the next morning.
She was still riding high about the new car. Steve had been incredibly proud of himself that he had been able to keep the lid on the gift. While Hopper would deny it, they had bonded a little bit when they went looking for the car. Ruby knew it to be true because when she had gotten back to the house, her luggage from the airport was in her bed and the roses from Steve were in a glass on her nightstand without any mention of them.
"What, I'm gone for a month and suddenly you're too cool for me?" Dustin's face lit up at the sound of her voice, despite himself.
"Oh Ruby, it's so good to see you sweetheart. Don't listen to Dusty, he loves you and he missed you." Dustin's jaw dropped.
"Mom! I don't love her." If he weren't twelve, it might have hurt her feelings.
"Of course you do, but like a sister." She added for his benefit.
"Yeah, okay." He mumbled.
"Besides, I got plans for us Henderson." Dustin's mother patted her on the cheek.
"Be good Dusty. I'll see you after work." She kissed him on the head and quickly moved towards the front door to get to her car.
"What kind of plans?" Dustin's interest was piqued.
"Well, I've been gone for a month so I thought we could go see Return of the Jedi." His eyes went wide.
"You haven't seen it yet?!" They had bonded over Star Wars. Ruby had been babysitting him since she was almost 13 years old.
"Dustin, I was in retirement hell. Plus, I wanted to see it with you." His eyes narrowed.
"Not with Steve." His arms crossed. Ruby put her hand on her hip.
"Steve does not understand Star Wars or putting candy in popcorn. Why would I waste my viewing experience on that?" She explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"He's a loser. You're too good for him." Ruby had to laugh. Dustin was like the little brother she always wanted. He had filled some of the space in her heart that Sara had left.
"He is not a loser. Also, we are not dating. He and I are friends like you and Mike are friends." Dustin's eye roll topped any eye roll of Ruby's.
"Yeah tell his eyes that." Ruby ignored him.
"Alright." She held her hand up to stop him. Dustin immediately went silent. "Keep it up and I won't give you the gift I got you in Florida and I definitely will not drive you to Mike's house in my new car after the movie." His jaw dropped.
"What new car?" His voice cracked slightly.
"The one I got last night." Dustin ran to the window to see it. Normally she would just walk down to his house, but she knew he would be excited to see it.
"That is so cool. Now you're definitely too cool for Steve Harrington. I'm stopping, I'm stopping!" He ran to his room to get dressed, excited about the day.
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"Hey Ruby." Nancy Wheeler sounded slightly confused when she opened the door.
"Hey, I'm delivering Dustin and these two Pizza's for the boys." She quickly explained.
"Oh, sorry, come in!" She stepped aside to let her into the house.
"Did you really get a new car?" Lucas' voice rang out. Ruby nodded at him.
"Go check it out." She shook her head as she watched Lucas, Will and Mike run outside to meet Dustin as he was getting his stuff out of the car.
"Babysitting?" Nancy mused as she led Ruby into the kitchen so she could put the pizza down.
"Ish. I don't think Dustin's mom is ready to accept she doesn't need one anymore or that he's the same age I was when I started babysitting him." Nancy laughed.
"Well, he is an only child." Ruby nodded.
"Honestly, I don't mind. He's a good kid and it gives her peace of mind." Nancy nodded.
"How was Florida?" She and Nancy were friendly. They had a lot of classes together, sometimes studied together and Ruby brought Dustin to her home often. If Ruby was more open, they would be actual friends.
"Really hot, but it was good to see my grandparents. I kind of hate that they left Chicago." Nancy listened intently. Other than Steve, Nancy was the only one she had told about her grandparents moving. She had bumped into Nancy after she got the news and she had been upset. She felt like she was loosing a piece of her mom when they sold the home she grew up in.
"You do seem like a city girl." Before Ruby could respond Lucas came stomping into the kitchen.
"Did your grandparents really have alligators in their back yard?" Everything always seemed like an accusation with him.
"Well, sort of. They live in this retirement village. And all of the houses have high fences, and they are in a circle. In the middle is a pond and there are alligators. There are alligators pretty much everywhere in Florida." His jaw dropped.
"That is so cool." He shook his head.
"No, that car is cool. I can't believe your dad bought it for you." Mike added.
"Thanks for bringing the pizza Ruby." Will added quietly. He was always her favorite friend of Dustin's. He was so polite. Not that she didn't like Mike or Lucas, there was just something about Will that made him special.
"You are most welcome. I am going to let you boys go do...whatever it is that you do." She picked the pizza up and passed it to Mike. He and Lucas ran down the stairs. Will waited for Dustin. He hesitated for a moment and then he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her.
"Thanks for an awesome day. I'll see you in the morning." It took Ruby by surprise.
"Yeah, okay buddy. Have fun." He bolted for the basement. "Your mom will be here around 8!" She yelled after him.
"You headed home?" Nancy asked.
"Yeah. I'm beat. I'm not even embarrassed to say that a 12 year old kicked my ass today. Plus traveling yesterday, I'm kind of excited to go home." Nancy looked slightly disappointed.
"Well, maybe next time if you bring Dustin over earlier we could hang out. Compare schedules?" Ruby nodded.
"Yeah...that would be cool. I'll see you soon." Ruby smiled and then headed out of the Wheeler house, excited for some silence.
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"Get in loser!" Ruby yelled from her car as Steve approached. She had been home for a few weeks and it was almost time to go back to school.
"You're a bully." He said as he climbed into her car.
"You love it." She grinned as "Another One Bites the Dust" played in the background.
"You ditch the rugrat for the day?" He asked.
"His mom is trying to give him more independence. So I check in on him throughout the day. I'm kind of bummed." Steve scoffed.
"You're bummed? What about the money?" Ruby shook her head.
"No...no. I don't mind spending time with him. It's like having a little brother." Steve's expression softened.
"Well, he lives just a few doors down. He'd be an idiot not to want to hang out with the coolest girl from Hawkins High."
"You flatter me Harrington." He bumped her shoulder.
"You are." She shook her head.
"Anyway, I'm starving. My father didn't buy like any groceries so we're going to get food and then I need to get school supplies and maybe some new clothes. I'll drop you off before I go to the grocery store."
"No, no. I'll go with you. You'll need help bringing it in." Ruby gave him a deadpanned look.
"There are two of us, I can handle the bags.” Steve gave her his most stubborn look. "Alright, don't complain if you break a nail."
"You know, sometimes it's really hard to remember you actually like me and we're friends." She patted him on the cheek.
"You love me." He shifted.
"Yeah well...so I haven't seen you in like a week, what's up?" She shrugged.
"You were hanging out with Tommy and his hyena." She explained.
"Carol." He corrected. "So what? Are you going to just avoid me all school year?" She looked over at him.
"No...no of course not. I just am trying to prepare myself for them." Steve looked at her for a moment.
"You think I should ditch them." It was a statement, not a question.
"What I think is that he's an asshole and you're not an asshole. I tolerate him and her for you. Because I want to be around you." In that moment, Steve wished he had the guts to ditch them both just for her, but he was too much of a coward to do it.
"Well, I'll spend less time with them then. More just you and me." She gave him a wistful smile.
"Until you get a girlfriend." She pointed out.
"Hey...come on." He tried to protest.
"It's fine Steve. It's business as usual. I'm sure I'll find some guy to hang out with so I'm not a third wheel. It's our thing." She had to admit that he looked a little hurt.
"Rubes...you are my best friend." She knew she had hit something deep in him because he only called her Rubes instead of Hopps when he was serious.
"Oh Steve, I know. I didn't mean it in a bad way, I swear. It's just what we do. It's all fun and just trying to get through High School. But you and me? We are for life. I'm just in a weird mood. Please don't take it personally." Steve wasn't sure if he believed her.
"For life, huh?" He asked. She gave him a smile.
"We will be God parents to each other's kids and everything. Don't quit on me now Harrington. You're finally wearing my dad down." He laughed.
"Well he did save the rabbit's foot, so maybe you're right." She glanced at it fondly.
The fact that he thought to get it in her favorite color made it extra special. Steve knew she wasn’t into big gestures expensive gifts. She liked little things that meant something. It was why she had a shoe box collection of mix tapes he had made her.
He knew her love of ADIDAS sneakers. For her last birthday he found her a pair of black high tops with hot pink and turquoise trim. She had been trying to find them, but Hawkins didn’t always get the best stock. Steve had cut out a picture of them and begged his father to look while he was traveling for work. Normally, he wouldn’t have bothered, but since they were for Ruby, he came through. It was the first time she didn’t yell at him for spending the money on her. She was meticulous in taking care her sneakers, but the ones Steve bought her got extra special treatment.
"It is one of my most prized possessions. You don’t have to worry about losing me. Especially not because of Tommy and Carol. I can deal with them in small doses during school. I'll keep my mouth shut like 85% of the time. I'll wing woman you through the rest of the girls you haven't dated. It'll be great." She gave him a genuine smile.
"Okay, but Rubes...if it ever isn't okay, you promise you'll tell me? You're the best thing in my life." He watched as Ruby blink rapidly for a few moments.
"Steve- I swear on mixtapes, rabbit foot keychains and swing set confessions that I will tell you. You mean everything to me. I'm not giving up on you, not ever." She saw a smile of relief cross his face.
"You and me against the world Hopps. always." She put her hand over his and squeezed it for a moment.
For the prompt "Kissing scars," I think of Bucky Barnes sleeping on the couch in either a tank top or shirtless; his girlfriend comes home, and even though she's shy, she starts kissing the scars on his body, waking him up... fluffy or smut ending, pretty, please 🙏
I write for SVU (mostly Barba lol but I can be swayed), Supernatural, MCU (mostly Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes and I’m adding in Matt Murdock- but I’m willing to do other characters), TVD/The Originals,
I typically write from the female perspective, but I can do gender neutral if you’d like! Anything NSFW would be a female insert, I’m just more comfortable writing that. I don’t think I could do anyone else the justice.
Prompt List is below!
“you keep looking at me like that and i’m gonna forget how much i ‘hate’ you.”
“what do you mean we look good together? take that back.”
“you think i like you? i tolerate you. barely.”
“i’d never say it out loud, but they feel like home.”
“don’t talk to me.” “then stop looking at me like you want to kiss me.”
“if you mention this moment to anyone, i will kill you.”
“shut up.” “make me.” “...don’t tempt
“i don’t want to hate you anymore.”
“you’ve ruined everyone else for me.”
“i hate how much i care.”
“i’ve loved you since the second time we argued. i think you did too.”
“tell me to stop loving you. and i will.”
"Oh. When you’re not scowling at me, your eyes look a little lighter."
“No. Stop talking like that. You’re gonna be fine.”
"Someone saw us last night. They saw us. God, what if they tell?"
"Whatever you saw in there isn't real. I'm real, okay? I'm here.”
Caught in the rain.
.Memory loss.
"Oh. How I missed hearing your voice..."
Trying to hide their blush by turning their face away.
One of them writes love letters. The other finds them—but doesn’t know who’s writing.
“You’re shaking.” “I’m not.” “You are.”
"Why won’t you let yourself be loved?"
"I can't imagine who I'd be without you in my life"
“No, wait. Stay- Stay back. I need to think rationally.”
Wrapping their hand around the other's protectively because it's just an instinct.
They break the silence with: “I never stopped choosing you.”
Insomniacs who keep seeing each other at the 24-hour laundromat.
A power outage hits their apartment building. They sit in the hallway, sharing a candle.
“You waited for me?" “I always do.”
They share a cab in the rain. The other gives their scarf away before leaving
"I can't lose you."
Kissing scars.
"I can't let them take everything."
"I didn't ask for your help."
"We're in this together."
"You have to let me go."
"I won't let them take you."
"We need to stay focused."
"This isn't just a game."
"We have to stay together."
"I can't do this without you."
"You need to see the bigger picture."
"This changes everything."
"I'm not afraid to stand alone."
"Why do you always make things hard?"
"Really good to see you."
"There is probably a very reasonable explanation for that."
"That is a line we shouldn't cross."
"And here we go again."
"We were never friends."
"Just because I don’t say much doesn’t mean I don’t notice everything."
"You have no idea what I’ve sacrificed for this."
"You always said you’d never lie to me."
"I knew you would be back. You always come back."
“good god, you are a pain.” “then why are you even here?” “maybe i’m a masochist.”
“say that again i dare you.” “what are you going to do about it if i do?”
“your existence unnerves me.” “aw, i’m flattered.”
“hi honey.” “don’t honey me, you just threw a book at me!”
“huh, you know when you’re not scowling at me your eyes look a little more blue than green.”
“what if one day you wandered off a cliff?” “would you join me?”
“sometimes i feel like you want to get hit.” “by you? most certainly.
“miss me?” “i had wondered where my headache went.”
“you are certainly interesting.” “is that a compliment or are you making fun of me?” “yes.”
“i’m not docile by any means.” “i’ve noticed, i notice everything about you.”
“i need help to bury a body.” “and you thought of me? aw.” “actually, i’m the only one that would miss you if you went to prison.” “you’d miss me?”
“i hate you!” “as long as you feel something towards me.”
“watch it!” “it’s cute how easy i can rile you up.”
“do you truly hate me?” “i wish that was possible.”
"If I said I wasn’t thinking about you, I’d be lying. And I’m a terrible liar."
"You do this cute thing with your hands when you’re nervous, you know?"
“Do I mean anything to you?”
“How did you think this was going to be okay with me?”
“You haven’t listened to one word I’ve said. Have you?”
“I can’t deal with this anymore, everything hurts. I don’t want this life anymore”
“Being with you, it makes me not want to be alone anymore,”
”Don’t put your walls back up, don’t hideaway I’m here,”
“If I-”.. “Don’t say it,”... “How do you even know what I was going to say”... “I know it’s stupid, next idea”
“This is the opposite of what I told you to do”
“Stop pushing me away.”
“I don’t get paid enough for this.”
“I will not sit here and watch you suffer.”
“Your ego is larger than this entire place.”
“I have never lied to you. Not one time.”
“Please don’t leave, I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”
“Why are you so scared of loving someone?”
“Call- Call me that again.”
“I warned you about him, yet again you didn’t listen.”
“Why are you so fucking stubborn?”
“You’re damaged and hurt- I know, so am I.”
“I would never regret what we had.”
“The people I love the most, I lose.”
“Don’t walk away from this, not now.”
“How the hell did you get caught up in this mess?”
“What’s MY problem?!”
“Currently I’m flirting with death.”
“Don’t hide your blushing, it’s cute.”
“It’s 6am- you’re not having vodka.”
“No! You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
“Ohh, so you think I’m cute when I’m angry? Well, get ready because I’m about to be gorgeous!”
“I don’t care if you are panicking - just... do it quietly.”
“Yeah, I have a plan.” “Is it a good one?” “I have a plan.”
“There are at least seventeen ways this could have gone better. Literally. Like, I’m counting them right now, you moron.”
“Your existence gives ma a headache, go stand over there.”
“Everything here can kill you, but I can do it the most efficiently.”
“Wow, can we just pretend, for one second, that you’re not a complete douchebag.”
“underestimate me. That’ll be fun.”
“I know that I just spit blood all over you, and this is probably the wrong time, but I kind of like you.”
“You’re judging me.”“It’s what I do - it’s a hobby of mine.”
“Why are you such an ass?” “Everyone has to excel at something right?”
“Here, hold my dignity... I’ve got some sketchy shit to do.”
“I have stepped in puddles deeper than you!”
“You know I love you right?” “Yes.” “Okay, well since I love you, I want to tell you how much of a dumb ass you are being.”
“If there’s anything I’ve managed to do pretty well in my life, so far it’s not die. So we’re off to a good start on that one.”
“Why does everyone fear you?” “Because I can do things they can’t.” “Like?” “Mind my own business, for one.”
“Are you decent?” “Not morally, but I am wearing pants, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I’m too sober for this.”
“You are seriously like a man child”
“What’s the matter sweetheart?”
“You’re actually Satan.”
“You’re bleeding all over my floor.”
“This is mine. So is this, this and especially this.”
“What you did was stupid and dangerous and it scared the hell out of me.”
“if you say one more word i can’t promise you’re gonna leave here in one piece.”
“i’m so mad at you i can’t even see straight.”
“everything’s just a fucking joke to you, isn’t it?”
“i’m not talking to you right now.”
“It feels like no matter how hard I try it’s never enough.”
“I trusted you.”
“I never wanted this.”
“Please talk to me.”
“I don’t want to talk.”
“I can’t do this again. I won’t.”
“Please, just let me go.”
“You deserve so much better than me.”
“Don’t put me in this position.”
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“Hang on. You’re gonna be okay. Keep breathing.”
“That was the worst day of my life.”
“I just want you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me.”
“Did it take you long to move on from me?”
“It was an accident!”
“Why don’t you believe me?”
“We have to let go.”
“I can’t stop crying.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Another nightmare?”
“I needed you. And you weren’t there.”
“Just let me help you.”
“I’m still not over you.”
“I swear, I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’ll always be there for you. Don’t you know that?”
“The worst part is, I loved you anyway.”
“Here, let me see.”
“Don’t look down.”
“Will you just hold still?”
“This isn’t just about you…”
“What’s that behind your back?”
“When you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“I wish this moment could last forever…”
“There’s a leaf in your hair.”
“I think I twisted my ankle…”
"Why are you giving me such a hard time about this?”
"Look into my eyes, what do you see?”
“Of course you’d believe that…”
“Shhh, they’ll hear us.”
“It doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches…”
“Will you just tell me the truth?”
“Why are you laughing?”
“That stuff can’t be good for you!”
“This will only take a second…”
“Don’t look at me like that!”
“You think you could do better?”
“Why did you think that was a good idea?”
“Stop it, you’re embarrassing me.”
“Your eyes are red… Were you crying?”
“We’re running low on time here.”
“You’ve got something on your cheek.”
“If I could just get you to understand…”
“Don’t move, it’ll be okay.”
“Let’s take a deep breath…”
“Come on, it wasn’t that bad.”
“You can’t have it both ways.”
“I’ve made a huge mistake…”
“Don’t worry about it. Everyone screws up.”
“We go on three…”
“I’m not bothering you, am I?”
“I didn’t know you could do that.”
“I forgot you used to like this stuff!”
“You are the one who broke my life and the worst thing that I still love you.”
“When you died, a part of me died with you.”
“You saved me so many times, let me do the same.”
Can you at least admit you were little worried about me?
“Shut up, don’t you dare tell me that it was a mistake.”
"We both know we want us to be something more than we are."
I really want to talk to you. And not through the door.
“Open this fucking door or, I swear to God, I’ll kick it in!”
I will protect you, whether you like it or not.”
"You can keep pretending that it didn’t happen and keep avoiding me, but I can’ do it anymore."
"You can't dirty talk your way out of this."
“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”
"Nobody as seen you in days."
“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”
“Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”
“But I’ve never told you “Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.”that before.”
“Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.”
“I should’ve told you back then, but I didn’t want you to leave.”
“You don’t get to say anything to me!”
"Move out of my way before I make you."
“What gives you the right?”
“Take one more step and I snap her pretty little neck”
"Please don't cry."
“You take me instead, do you hear me? Give her back and take me instead.”
"Something doesn't feel right"
“Don’t tell me you’re fine, I can see the blood!”
"I...I don't remember"
“You know I hear you talking, but I still don’t have my coffee.”
“This might sound selfish, but I don’t care about the world - I only care about you!”
“I need to know that you can trust me. Please.”
“Do whatever you want, I don’t care.”
“This is real. You’re real, I’m real. I need you to come back to reality.”
This hasn’t been fully edit, I will come back and do it later!
"Detective, I need you to get it together. You cannot go off on the stand like that. It will blow our case." Rafael pinched the bridge of his nose. He and Gia had been prepping for hours for her testimony the next day. It was the first case that the two of them were working on together exclusively. Gia had done the lion's share of the investigation. She had been working OT and caught the Arianna Blaine case. She ran it from start to finish. She had done exemplary work, though it had been hard on her. He could see the toll it was taking on her. The girl and her stepbrother went missing, or so they had originally thought. Gia had tracked the girl down to an abandoned warehouse. She eventually pieced together that the step brother Jacob wasn't a victim, but a suspect. Once she finally found him, Rafael watched in horror as he twisted her in knots, giving her just bits of a confession. Cragen made Rafael wait to join her. He said she needed to do this on her own. She had gotten the confession, even if it chipped away at her composure. Then, he pivoted and hired Buchanan and set his eyes on an insanity defense.
It had been a month prior that he had finally gotten her to break, much to his shame. His coffee olive branch had done the trick and they were working well together. He was slowly learning what made her tick. Knowing when to jump in and object or seeing the look in her eyes that told him she could handle it. Right now, she was a ticking time bomb.
"I am doing the best I can!" She protested, trying to discreetly wipe a tear away. He pretended not to notice. He had never seen her this emotional before, he did t want her to feel worse.
"You have to do better." She jumped when he slammed his hand down on the table, which he immediately regretted.
"You didn't see her. Arianna was tortured by her stepbrother. It was...sick...psychotic." She looked down. He deflated. Kids were always the hardest cases. He walker over to her on the stand and put his hand over hers. She slowly looked up and met his gaze.
"I...I know. But they are trying to keep him out of prison by saying he's not guilty because he's insane. Using words like that could make that happen." Gia had scoffed.
"Being a psychopath doesn't mean you're insane. I know they diagnosed him with Borderline Personality Disorder...but I don't agree. That doctor is wrong...so freaking wrong. Psychopaths can be misdiagnosed with BPD. There is a distinct symptom overlap. What he did? The way he planned it? Psychopathy. I don't care what that other doctor said." Rafael blinked for a moment and went back to his table and made some notes.
"Look, I get it Monroe, and I agree. I know you're also an expert...but you're not the expert who did THIS evaluation. People with Borderline Personality Disorder can be found not guilty by reason of insanity. Let's not help them get that verdict. I know you can do this. Keep going?"
Rafael stared out his office window siping his coffee. He had come into the office early to wrap up everything he could and make sure that not one person called him from that evening until Monday morning. There were plenty of other ADAs in the building that could handle anything that came up while he was gone.
The Ariana Blaine case had been on his mind, so much, he couldn't sleep. In retrospect, her reaction to the case made complete sense. He wished he had known, he wouldn't have been so damn hard on her. Working at with Manhattan SVU was definitely changing him and his perspective.
He and Gia had prepped for a half hour more and then he had sent her on her way. She was at her limit and he wanted her to get some rest, but he kept working.
"Monroe, you look exhausted. Did you sleep at all?" She shrugged.
"A little." She had buttoned up her emotions, just like he had asked. He knew how badly she wanted to nail this guy. He just didn't know if she could maintain her stoicism.
"Listen...you do the best that you can. I have a plan for the redirect. I don't want you to worry." He made sure she was last to testify for the day. He couldn't count on her not loosing it on the stand, so he had to make sure she could count on him on the redirect.
"Detective Monroe. Can you describe the crime scene when you arrived?" She gave him a curt nod.
"We were able to locate where the victim was at an abandoned factory on the lower east side after an anonymous tip. The victim was non-responsive when we arrived. She was on the floor, barely dressed. There were welts all over her body, ligature marks on her wrists and ankles. There was um...pill bottles on the ground. There were beer bottles all over, some were broken. There were stab wounds on the victim. After examining them, they appeared to be just deep enough so she wouldn't bleed out." Rafael was expecting some sort of objection from Buchanan, but he had an idea of how he was going to approach his cross. Rafael had no problem helping him tee it up, he was ready for it.
"And what did the defendant tell you in interrogation?" Her eyebrows knitted together slightly.
"That he was jealous of his stepsister. His mother, she had always wanted a daughter and Arianna was the perfect fit. That for most of his life it was just him and his mom, until Arianna came along." Rafael nodded his head.
"Thank you Detective." That had been the first time during her testimony she had used Arianna's name. He knew she was trying to keep her emotions in check, distancing herself was a way to do it.
"Detective Monroe, thank you for being here today. I can tell this case was a difficult one for you." Buchanan started.
"Your Honor..." Rafael started to object. Buchanan waved him off and got to his line of questioning.
"Detective, you just described physically how the scene looked. What did you ascertain about the person that had attacked little Arianna Blaine?" Gia's eyebrows got closer together.
"I...I don't understand the question." Buchanan shook his head.
"Well you're not just a Detective, you also have a degree, a doctorate in psychology." Buchanan reminded her.
"Is there a question here?" Rafael objected again.
"Yes, there is. What did you tell Detective Amaro at the scene?" Gia closed her eyes for a moment.
"That he...the defendant was cray...crazy. That what he did to that little girl was psychotic and barbaric." Gia's jaw was clenched. She was trying to control her anger. Rafael could see it bubbling under the surface.
"Well Detective, you are an expert in the field. Didn't you tell Detective Amaro that cases like this were why you got your PhD? So you could understand why someone could do something so crazy?"
"Yes." Her voice dripped with disdain.
"In fact, you told him it was the most barbaric attack you had seen since being at SVU?" She was biting down on her lip hard. "Detective?"
"Yes." Her nostrils flared.
"So, in your expert opinion, this was the most barbaric scene you had ever seen and the person that did it had to be crazy?" She looked at Rafael helplessly, instead of objecting, he gave her an indescribable nod.
"Yes, that was what I said." Buchanan threw his hands up.
"No further questions your honor." Rafael stood up.
"Redirect your honor?" The judge nodded.
"Detective Monroe, as we just established that you are an expert on this subject, do you agree that the defendant has Borderline Personality Disorder?" Buchanan stood up.
"Objection- Detective Monroe did not evaluate my client!" Rafael gave her a faint smile.
"Your Honor, Mr. Buchanan is the one that opened the door to Detective Monroe, or in this case Doctor Monroe's expert level knowledge. She spent considerable time with the defendant, I would argue long enough to diagnose him." The judge sat thoughtfully for a moment.
"Sorry Mr. Buchanan, Mr. Barba is right. You opened the door. Detective, you may answer this line of questioning." He saw Gia deflate a little. Rafael was getting her out of her emotions. Getting her back to her comfort zone was where she was going to win the case for him.
"No I don't. I would have diagnosed him as a Psychopath." Rafael walked closer to the stand.
"Why?"
"Psychopathy is often misdiagnosed as BPD. They can be difficult to distinguish because of the overlap of symptoms. Things like relationship instability, and antisocial behavior and affective disregulation...problems regulating emotions. Affective disregulation is central to both disorders." There she was. He could almost see the anger and devastation fleeing from her eyes.
"What makes you believe the defendant was misdiagnosed?" She took a deep breath before responding.
"How calculated this was. It was intricately planned." Gia telling him about the instances of misdiagnosis had sent him down the rabbit hole of the differences between the two after he sent her home. This was how they were going to put this to bed. She leaned forward before continuing.
"Psychopathy is defined by shallow affect, callousness, and lack of empathy, whereas BPD involves intense, unstable emotions, often with deep distress. The defendant showed no remorse at the time of arrest or in interrogation...but it was how he tortured his stepsister. We know by her tox screen that she had benzos in her system. He had her there for three days, he knew exactly how much to give her to keep her compliant but not overdose. Not causing an overdose with a child as young as five with that type of medication? It requires research. The defendant had to take the time to find the abandoned location. It was no where near his home or school on the Upper West Side. He had to acquire the rope to tie her up with, find the cords to whip her with. He cut her just deep enough with the broken glass from the beer bottles to hurt her, but not kill her. In my opinion, he knew exactly what he was doing every step of the way." Rafael was now leaning against the stand so he was almost next to Gia and looking at Buchanan. He wanted to watch the smugness leave his face.
"Is a diagnosis of psychopathy a diagnosis that meets the standard for not guilty due to mental disease or defect?" This was key to his redirect. She looked him directly in the eyes. That was when he knew he had fully earned her trust.
"No. psychopathy usually does not meet the standard because the law requires a severe mental disease or defect that stops a person from knowing their conduct's nature or wrongfulness. Psychopathy is not seen as a disease that impairs reality perception. Psychopaths generally know their actions are wrong but lack moral empathy, which isn't enough for a defense. Had he simply lashed out and attacked her once, I could understand the BPD diagnosis. But this attack? It was days long. Jacob looked me in the eyes and said he was jealous over how his mother doted on Arianna. He never once expressed an ounce of regret. Just his reasoning for terrorizing a five year old little girl and then she succumbed to those injuries. A bright light sniffed out far too soon." She said the name "Jacob" with more disgust than he had ever heard come out of her mouth. Her words became firmer. just shy of yelling. Her last words had Buchanan objecting. Rafael had taken it to the brink. He was done, and finally so was she.
"Thank you Detective, no further questions. You can step down now." She swallowed and stood up. She was shaking slightly. He helped her off of the bench. He wanted the jury to see the toll this had taken on Gia. Now they understood that the bastard sitting at the defense table didn't deserve to see the light of day ever again. She had been perfect. He watched as she fled the court room. He would find her once the judge adjourned for the day.
That was when he found her silently sobbing by an empty window alcove. Be had given her his pocket square. That case, as horrible as it was, established their trust and her feelings for him. They were a good team.
He should have known after that case that Gia would never let go of trying to figure out what had happened to her. What her brother had done that was so terrible. Was it a one time thing that summer or did he terrorize her all summer long? That was the other train of thought that kept him awake all night. She survived unimaginable trauma and preserved. Whatever happened that summer was too much for her to take. The aftershock of her finally remembering scared him. It didn't matter though, he would be by her side through all of.
She always had this way of showing up for him, he had to do the same for her. Her having his back, even without him asking made him think back to the mess with Alejandro. Despite how painful it had been, he couldn't help but smile slightly. A quintessential Gianna Monroe moment. She had an uncanny ability to show up at the right time and read the room instantly.
Yelina had shown up in his office trying to get information on what her husband was up to. He couldn't help but wonder if she already knew the type of man he had become or was she in denial? At best, he was a serial cheater and she had the audacity to essentially call him corrupt and question if he was having his oldest friend investigated because she had made the choice to be with Alex. To question his integrity like that was something he could not tolerate, but he didn't get the chance to respond.
With Carmen gone, there was no one to stop Gia from approaching the partially open door. Gia must have heard Yelina's comment about it being about her and suddenly a very breezy Gia had walked in. Gia didn't do so much breezy as she did hurricane.
"Rafael, I'm here for our dinner, drinking and prep date." She had added the word date on for Yelina's benefit and the shot hit the target. He didn't even know she was coming, let alone bringing him dinner and booze to drown his sorrows in. They didn't have anything to prep for and they certainly didn't have a date planned. Official dates weren't in their repertoire at that point. She had walked over to Rafael's table and placed the very expensive Italian food and a bottle of his favorite scotch that she was carrying. Yelina was looking her up and down. God love Gia and her tight jeans and this black off the shoulder top that she had such affinity for and her messing bun with ringlets falling out; she was perfectly imperfect. She was there in complete contrast to Yelina's very flashy benefit dress. Most women would have been intimidated by Yelina, but not Gianna Monroe.
"I'm so sorry to interrupt. I thought we were alone tonight?" She walked over and gave him a tender kiss on the cheek. He somehow managed to not show his surprise and also stopping himself from grabbing her by the waist and fully kissing her. She then boldly introduced herself to Yelina. Yelina had made a quick exit after that. Once she was done Gia has grinned at Rafael. He could still feel the tingle where she had kissed him.
"Yeah, you're welcome." She leaned against his desk.
"And what am I thankful for?" He crossed his arms and turned to face her.
"Um...for getting rid of that." She pointed towards the door and rolled her eyes. "You really had a thing for her?" She raised one eyebrow. He shook his head and looked down before responding.
"I did. I really did." Gia reached out and shoved him slightly so he would meet her eyes again.
"Well, jokes on her because she made the wrong choice." His head ticked slightly. "C'mon, you would NEVER do what he's done. You would never cheat on a woman like that...and if Nick is right and there is something nefarious going on? You? Nunca." She shook her head like she was trying to shake the thought out of her head. Then she looked at him and bit her lower lip.
"C'mon, let's eat before it gets cold." He couldn't manage to say anything to else. Her unwavering faith in him stirred up more feelings and he couldn't acknowledge them; at least not then. He had to focus on what was happening with Alejandro and Eddie.
He wondered if there was a way he could get an idea of what could have happened that summer. Her father would be no help, that was obvious. There were two others that might be able to shed light on it, Grayson and her mother.
He had been toying with calling Grayson all morning. The only thing stopping him was the fact that if he did, it would likely ruin any chances of Gia actually enjoying herself hiding away with him for the remainder of the week. He was hoping that Grayson would talk to him and not bring it up to Gia, but it wasn't something he could guarantee, that phone call would have to wait. Her mother was another story. She wasn't a fan of Rafael at all, he doubted she would open up to him. She hadn't been there that summer, but he imagined that she had to have an idea of what happened. He couldn't see Gia's father not cluing her in to something so traumatic Gia had blocked it out. He needed help. His first instinct was to call Amaro, but Rafael knew he couldn't keep his mouth shut either. He hated the idea of betraying Gia, but if it meant helping her in the long run, he had to try. He hesitated before picking up his phone.
"Liv, we need to talk, alone. Can you come to my office?" He hoped he was doing the right thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Chief, thanks for seeing me last minute. I wanted to chat before I'm back on Monday." Dodd's motioned for her to enter his office.
"Of course. Take a seat. I assume this has to do with our previous conversation?" Gia sat down and crossed her legs so she wouldn't bounce her knee nervously.
"Yes." Dodds smiled
"You're unhappy with it." It wasn't a question.
"Not entirely. I mean, not chasing rapists around at 2am is perfectly fine by me, but I want a little more autonomy. If there is a case that I am on, or one that I feel passionate about, I want to be able to operate as I, or well as Olivia and I see fit. While I agree the case that was given to me is important...there hasn't been any similar activity in three years. I want to put it together and find the person or persons responsible, but there are cases that are coming in hot that I can help solve faster and I can get back to figuring this out. I just don't want to be in the office all of the time." She bit down on the middle of her upper lip. Dodds surveyed her for a moment.
"I have no problem with that. I just don't want you wasting your time on he said/ she said cases and things like that. I know they are just as important, but your fellow detectives can handle those." Gia nodded.
"I think I can live with that." Dodds laughed a little.
"I guess I shouldn't have admitted to knowing about the offer from the DA." Gia chuckled herself.
"Yeah, you're probably going to regret it. I can be a handful." Dodds laughed again.
"I can imagine you are. Just...don't push it too far. You are an asset, but I don't want to have to spend all of my time reigning you in." Gia shook her head.
"I told you, I am a straight shooter. I can promise to try and color within the lines as much as I can, just so long as you understand that I might have to move the lines occasionally." She thought Rafael's words fit the situation best. "I try not to do it very often." They both studied each other for a moment.
"And I think I can live with that." Dodd's mirrored her previous statement. Gia stood up.
"Well, we get at it on Monday then." Dodds stood when she did.
"Detective, enjoy your last few days of leave." He followed her towards the door.
"Thank you Chief. Have a Happy Thanksgiving." She let out a breath when he closed his door behind her. This was something she could roll with. She looked at her watch, it was still early. Rafael had left her a note about having to finish up some work so he went in early. He had arranged for an early check in and scheduled her a massage at the hotel spa. She could not wait.
She had gone to the hotel to drop her bag and garment bag off. Rafael had made reservations Friday night at one of the fancy restaurants in the hotel. Then he made a comment about her not worrying about needing much clothing beyond a dress. She smiled to herself thinking about it. It had been a rough night, but they had talked a lot. He seemed to finally understand. She had eventually passed out from sheer emotional exhaustion.
She understood why he wanted her to leave it alone. It wasn't because he was tired of drama. He had been very clear that he didn't see her past trauma, her family issues or Alison as drama. He just wanted her to have some peace, he was worried about her. What he finally understood was that she would have no peace until she completely understood. She had a night of strange dreams, not nightmares. She couldn't even remember them, she just woke up feeling unsettled. The only thing that stuck with her was the sound of a giggle that she couldn't quite place. Rafael had woken her up once because she was tossing and turning. She knew he hadn't slept much. He had left an empty scotch glass on the table near her chair.
She had decided to take a nap after her massage, she couldn't remember the last time she was that relaxed. Maybe it was something she needed to put in her schedule on a regular basis. As she rubbed the sleep from her eyes she could feel his presence next to her. When she slowly rolled over, she saw that he was asleep. Rafael Barba was not the type of man that took a nap. She immediately felt guilty. She was the cause of his sleepless nights. He hadn't even shaved his face that morning.
She laid on her side and studied him for a moment. The stubble on his face made him unsurprisingly more attractive. His hair was slightly tossled. It was so rare to see him with a single hair out of place, especially in the court room. Yet, many nights when she would find him on his barstool at Fiorlini's, there would be a few strands that came loose as he furiously wrote on his legal pad.
"I thought staring was creepy." His voice brought her out of her own thoughts.
"Not staring, admiring." She ran the back of her hand across his prickly cheek. He opened his eyes to study her. He was relieved to see her looking well rested. It was a rare sight to see as of late.
"I didn't want to waste time shaving. The sooner I got done in the office, the sooner I could get to you." She had a faint smile on her face.
"I happen to like it, actually. Why didn't you wake me when you got here?" Rafael rolled to his side to face her.
"You sleeping soundly is a rare thing. I wasn't going to end it prematurely." She studied his face for a moment before she responded.
"Doesn't hurt that you were also exhausted after being up all night watching over me." She watched as his eyebrows knitted together. "You left your empty scotch glass in the room. How many?"
"How many what?" He wasn't trying to be evasive, he was genuinely confused.
"How many nights do you stay awake because of me? Don't bother lying, you forgot your scotch glass in the room." He closed his eyes again for the moment.
"I am going to assert my fifth amendment right." He couldn't help but smile at the annoyed look on her face. "Look, why don't we not talk about any of that while we're here." He watched her face perk up.
"Including my metric ton of shit?" He nodded.
"Including your metric ton of shit. Stay of execution until Monday." She laughed and laid her head on his shoulder.
"That is going to leave us a LOT of time then, because it seems that all we have done lately."
"I am sure we can find a way to pass the time." Gia sat up.
"I know you're trying to get into my pants right now, but can I tell you what I really want to do tonight." His eyes narrowed slightly.
"I feel like I should be offended right now." She swatted at him.
"Just...shut up and listen. So you know my experiences never really matched up to my peers. I was listening to these girls talk in the spa about going out tonight because their friends were all home for the holiday. I realized that I NEVER did that. I wasn't even of age during undergrad and then I was so focused on my graduate degrees that I literally did nothing but study. Plus, I never went back to Boston for Thanksgiving when I was in school. My parents came to Grayson’s…not that I had any friends there at that point..." Her rambling made him smile.
"So, you're telling me that instead of enjoying this lovely hotel room you want to go bar hopping and binge drinking?" She tilted her head to the side for a moment and pursed her lips.
"Well not binge drinking or bar hopping per say. Maybe one really good one. I have zero desire to be like black out drunk."
"I think I can agree to those terms." Gia leaned down and kissed him.
"This isn't a litigation counselor." He ran his thumb over her lower lip.
"Sure it us. Besides, we haven't even discussed my fee." Then, he pulled her back down to kiss her again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rafael wasn't minding the bar idea at the moment. As expected, it was packed with tourists and returning locals. He was sitting on the bar stool and she was standing in between his legs, practically sitting on his lap. She was wearing an off the shoulder shirt that left both shoulders exposed. She was so close and after a 5th shot of tequila, he was feeling it. He had ran his nose across her to her neck, similarly to the night he found her in the kitchen after Cragen announced her promotion. As he brushed his lips against her neck and her lovely collar bone, he could hear the slight groan she let out.
Normally, their level of PDA was much lower but both of their inhibitions were lowered. He had been worried that the huge crowd would trigger her claustrophobia, but the tequila had dampened her fight or flight response. She was like a drug to him. He spent hours exploring her, buried in her before they had left and it still wasn't enough. All he could think about was getting her back to their room and doing it all over again. For now, however, he was more than content with feeling her press her lips against his and when he ran his tongue between her lips he could taste the spiciness of the tequila mixed with the tang of the lemon and salt. It was his new favorite combination. When she pulled away, she smiled and placed her hand on his cheek and ran her thumb across it.
"I like you like this." She liked herself like this too; she felt as relaxed as he seemed. It felt good to push everything aside for a few days. She could do that, knowing that it would still be there waiting for her when she was really ready to persue it.
"Like what?" He raised both of his eyebrows.
"So bold and relaxed. Maybe you should switch from scotch to tequila forever." He ran his hands up and rested them on her lower back.
"I think you're a little drunk detective." She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Tipsy." She ticked her head to the side a little.
"Your flushed cheeks say that is a lie." Gia rolled her eyes in the way that drove him crazy and then she stared into his for a moment.
"I love you." The sudden expression took him by surprise, she was so serious.
She ran one hand up the back of his head as she pulled him in as close as she could to hug him. As his arms tightened around her, her eyes flicked up to the mirror behind the bar. She felt a chill run down her spine as she met the piercing gaze of someone she could have sworn she had seen before. When she spun around to look at him, he was gone.
"Hey, what just happened?" When she turned back around, his face was laced with a mix of concern and confusion.
"Nothing...I just..." Gia's voice trailed off as she looked around again. Had she imagined it?
"Baby...what?" That made her focus return to him. She loved when he called her that.
"Nothing. I thought I saw someone I knew." She shook her head. He studied her face for a moment.
"You sure?" He wasn't entirely convinced. She had seemed spooked when she spun around.
"I'm sure. Really." She leaned in and kissed him again. "Let's get another drink and then we can head out." He signaled the bartender.
"So soon?" He teased.
"Yes. For one, we can continue this back at the hotel and also I'm starving." He laughed.
"I would love drinks and room service right now. Hurry up and drink that." He pointed to the tequila in front of her.
Genre: Domestic intimacy. Established relationship. Soft romance. Emotional quiet.
Summary:
An early morning goodbye turns into a quiet exchange of memories, warmth, and words almost left unsaid. Before the door closes, Rafael Barba chooses love out loud.
You wake to the soft rustle of fabric and the quiet clink of cufflinks. It’s still dark, mostly. The curtains are drawn against the creeping light of a too-early morning, and the bedside clock tells you it’s not quite 6:00. But he’s already dressed: suit jacket slung over the back of the chair, shirt half-buttoned, tie draped around his neck like a scarf in progress.
He hasn’t noticed you yet. He’s moving with that deliberate quiet he always reserves for mornings like this when he’s trying not to wake you, trying to slip out into the city before the baby stirs or the world starts demanding things from him again.
You blink, push your cheek deeper into the pillow.
“Rafa.”
He turns at once; not startled, but caught. His expression softens when he sees you, hair mussed, eyes still heavy with sleep.
“Go back to sleep, cariño,” he says gently, stepping closer to the edge of the bed. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
You stretch your hand toward him.
“I don’t want to miss you.”
He sighs like that undoes him a little. Like every time you say things like that, simple and honest, something inside him still flinches with disbelief. He leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead first, then your lips, warm and slow.
But just before he pulls back, something shifts and you feel it. His breath stills, just slightly; his hand lingers a second longer on your jaw and his eyes flick down to your mouth, then up again, like he’s thinking something. Like it’s already on the tip of his tongue.
You whisper, “What?”
He hesitates. You know that look, that Barba look. The one he wears in court before saying something that will change everything. But this time, he doesn’t speak.
Instead, he smiles small, tired, a little sad, but still anchored in you. He brushes your hair back from your face, thumb resting behind your ear.
“You remember the day we met?” he asks quietly.
That catches you off guard and you blink up at him.
“Of course,” you murmur. “You were arguing with a vending machine.”
He huffs a soft laugh, straightens slightly. “It stole my dollar.”
“It ate two. You were pacing and muttering about economic injustice and lack of municipal oversight.”
“You laughed at me.”
“You called me a witness to corruption and asked if I wanted to co-author a complaint to the State Comptroller.”
He grins at that, an actual grin, fleeting but real.
“I remember thinking you had the most ridiculous, unstoppable mouth,” you say, your voice quiet. “And that I was in trouble.”
He gazes at you like you’ve just handed him a case he wasn’t prepared to win.
“I didn’t think you’d give me the time of day,” he admits, adjusting his watch absently.
“You told me I’d regret it if I didn’t and I believed you.”
He leans down again, his forehead brushing yours. “I’m still trying to earn it.”
“You already have.”
The moment stretches, warm and slow. He closes his eyes, breathing you in like a reprieve. Outside, the city starts to come alive; the sound of a bus rumbling by, a distant car horn, the low whine of wind between buildings. But here, in this room, it’s just you.
You kiss his knuckles before he pulls away.
“Don’t forget your coffee,” you whisper.
“Don’t forget I love you,” he says.
And this time, it’s the thing he doesn’t hesitate to say.
Then the door clicks softly behind him, and you’re left smiling in the quiet; your heart full of memories, and something that feels a lot like forever.
Hi!! I just found your blog and I love your writing! Even though I'm a new follower, I do have a couple requests but please don't feel pressured to write for them!!
30. "You werent supposed to hear that"
With Rafael Barba from SVU please?? Not enough people write for him imo
˚୨୧⋆｡ prompt/s; "You werent supposed to hear that" — from 150 prompts
˚୨୧⋆｡ warnings; established relationship, fluff (despite the almost angsty sounding prompt), olivia being a wingwoman basically, eavesdropping in his and olivia’s conversation, love confessions, that’s it i’m pretty sure
˚୨୧⋆｡ a/n; he’s my husband fr🤗
— celebrate 600 with me?
you’d gotten a text from your boyfriend, Rafael, saying he was working late in the office. which was becoming a more than reoccurring habit.
you missed spending your nights with him, he was always coming home by the time you were asleep these days and it bothered you.
deciding upon yourself to take dinner to his office tonight instead, wanting to spend as much time together as possible.
walking down the corridor towards his office, greeting Carmen on your way past and stopping at his open door.
hearing both Rafael and Olivia’s voice, and listening in through the gape in the door.
“she’s good for you Rafa”
you can hear him hum at that, the small sound of his shoes moving across the floorboards before he grabbed his coffee off of his desk.
“just tell her how you feel”
Olivia continued to encourage him, to what you didn’t know. but what you did know was that he’d listen to her, he always accepted her advice.
he sighed again before running a hand down his face, as if in some attempt to gather his thoughts.
“what if it messes stuff up?”
he asks with clear hesitation and restraint, and Oliva must’ve shook her head at him because he was sighing again.
“how do i even tell her i love her?”
that made you pause.
he loved you? he loved you back?
in your surprise you must’ve accidentally kicked the door shut, cursing yourself and smiling sheepishly at your boyfriend as he opened the door.
“hi Rafa”
you whisper softly, to which he shakes his head before stepping back into his office and holding the door for you to follow in after him.
greeting Olivia before she excused herself, nodding her head to the bag of food in your hand as you set it down on the tables.
waiting until Olivia was gone and out of sight to turn to Rafael, watching him sit on the edge of his desk. standing directly in front of him and soothing your hands across his chest, the act always seeming to soothe him.
“you love me?”
the question soft, shy almost.
he nodded, scared to admit it out loud to you just yet.
wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning in to press a kiss to his lips, feeling him melt into the kiss while his hands sat on your hips as you whispered against his lips.
“you wanna know a secret?”
he nodded again, simply watching you as his mind raced faster than he could formulate words to respond.
pressing another kiss to his lips and whispering out to him again.
“i love you too”
his head pulled back, his eyes searching yours and finding nothing but sincerity behind them.
he sighed again before resting his forehead against yours, his hands soothing across your sides as he whispered back to you.
“you weren’t supposed to hear that”
which made you laugh.
if anything, you’d never seen him this closed in on himself about he feels towards you. he’d always been open with his feelings in your relationship up until this.
stealing another kiss from him before you whispered out again.
“i’m glad you did, means i can tell you i love you to your face now”
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