i try to let pride poke its head through all of my cracks. every missing spot painted over in pink white and orange as if all my lesbian flag colored jewelry will fill the emptiness this identity brings. but they’re just colors and painting over something doesn’t make it go away. the loneliness remains, its ingrained in every part of me and i feel it everywhere i go. im reminded of it when my friends gush about their crushes on boys. i’m reminded of it when my mother talks of my future boyfriend. i’m reminded of it when i find a girl attractive and i’m reminded of it when i feel nothing for the guys that like me.
most days i carry the lesbian label with grace but what no one knows is how many nights i spend wishing i could be normal. all my attempts at liking boys leave me feeling worn out.


















