LIFE IN PIECES SENTENCE STARTERS : quotes taken from s01e03-05, ’sleepy email brunch tree’ , ’prison baby golf picking’ & ’babe secret phone germs’, of the television show life in pieces (2015-2019).
“meet me in the bottle with the nursery. i mean, meet me in the nursery with the bottle.”
“hey, will you be my best friend and go get some more?”
“are those my pajama shorts?”
“will you get me a slushie?”
“you always get the breaks. when it’s your turn to watch her, she sleeps. when it’s your turn to feed her, she doesn’t throw up in your mouth. when it’s your turn to go on a diaper run, you get arrest. when’s it my turn?”
“how do you make a peanut butter and jelly wrong?”
“you leave the crust on like i’m some kind of animal.”
“you know, an apple is the lazy mother’s snack.”
“[name] tends to scare people off by making bad swinger jokes.”
“we just throw our keys in a bowl and let fate decide.”
“uh, 'thesbian’ is not a word.”
“thesbian is a gay thespian.”
“don’t you let them see you cry.”
“i think that actually went pretty terrible for you.”
it was very fun to watch, as somebody emotionally removed from the situation.“
"i need you to take my side.”
“i agree with every word you just said, just not the point they make when you string all those words together in a sentence.”
“you have worked very hard to get to a place where he tolerates you, so don’t screw that up.”
“no, i never thought that because i don’t have dumb thoughts.”
“i was just trying to be nice without being creepy.”
“you’re always telling me that you want to roleplay, so i was roleplaying.”
“you know, i’m going to keep it on the d-low. the down low. the down diggity low.”
“you know, i’m going to keep it on the d-low. the down low. the down diggity low. xxl. extra, extra low.”
“it’ll just be another thing to shrug at.”
“i’m too embarrassed to even tell you.”
“use the hypothetical, if that helps.”
“you dumb son of a bitch!”
“i guess you have to be sad sometimes to know what happy feels like.”
“it’s happening, isn’t it? we’re the crazy parents?”
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