A quick recap of the timeline: Julian went to his first pediatrician visit on Thursday the 9th and got his first Hep B vaccine. Due to his jaundice, they wanted to get some blood to run labs on and decided to have us come back on Friday when the nurse who does it best on infants was in. We returned on Friday but the nurse blew out the vein in his arm when she tried so we were sent to Children's in Plano to get his blood drawn for the labs. Friday evening the pediatrician called and said his labs were all normal. Friday night she called again and said wait, no, his GGT levels were high and she wanted us to go in for more labs on Monday. Saturday morning she called Children's in Dallas and after speaking to their GI resident, decided Julian needed to come in for a sonogram and more blood tests that day.
With that, mom drove us to Children's in Dallas. We were in their ER from about 1:30 to 6:30 wherein they gave him a tiny IV and collected blood for more tests. They sonogramed his belly to visually check on his abdomen and decided to admit him in order to run more tests in the morning just to be absolutely sure his liver function wasn't deteriorating and to have experts check the sonogram since the absence of certain key liver characteristics would have required immediate corrective surgery. Everything appeared fine so we were allowed to go home with a follow up for more tests scheduled for Wednesday.
So what's wrong with Julian? His bilirubin levels are high but not in the normal way. There are two types of bilirubin: direct and indirect. In nearly all cases, if total bilirubin levels are high it's because both direct and indirect levels are elevated. With Julian, only direct is elevated while indirect is normal. They're very confused as to why that is. So having ruled out some possibilities while we were there, we're now trying him on formula for two days and zero breast milk to see if there is something in my milk that is causing his liver to function oddly. We already ruled out incompatibility and lactose intolerance so we're altering diet before having to go with more imaging techniques.
I was 39 weeks and a day pregnant. For the past several weeks, my sleeping schedule was to wake up around 2 in the morning, go to the bathroom, then watch YouTube until I fell asleep again to wake up and pee once more about every two hours after. With that schedule, it wasn't a surprise at all when I woke up around 2:30 on April the 4th to empty my bladder--though the tightness in my low abdomen was new. It came and went and I didn't think too much of it as I had been having tightness in that area for the past few days and it usually gripped me, held on for a stupid amount of time, then just went away and didn't reoccur. I got back into bed, laid down to watch YouTube, but the tightness happened again before I managed to fall asleep. It didn't hurt and it almost made me laugh because, lol, wouldn't it be funny if these were contractions? I decided to see if they kept happening rather than go back to sleep, rolling into more videos as I laid and waited.
Obviously, they kept happening. Mom had shown me how the Ovia pregnancy app had a contraction timer on it so I thought I may as well play with that just to see if there was any pattern to the discomfort. I'd hit start when the building pressure peaked and held tight then stop when the last of the pressure released. They lasted for about a minute and were about six minutes apart. They weren't terrible, but the fact that they did seem to have a pattern made me take a screenshot and text it to my mother. I really didn't want to wake her up if they weren't real contractions but figured if she happened to be awake and saw it, that would be okay.
At 4:28am my mom receives my text and immediately thinks I don't know how to time my contractions properly but decides it's best to head over. She replies she's coming but is going to shower first and proceeds to get ready for the day, showering, drying and quickly styling her hair, putting on a little makeup, etc.. I didn't mind since I wasn't convinced I was in labor and just sat around a while more before hopping into the shower to see if the hot water relaxed it away. I thought maybe it did for a bit until a particularly nasty one threw that idea out the window. It's not until I noticed the faint presence of blood on some toilet paper that I started to think that this might actually be labor after all.
At 5:45am mom has still not arrived and the contractions are much more powerful and closer together. I call her on my phone because askdjfhhajskfmwhere are you x_x She'd just pulled up, though, and came in seconds later. She sees I'm breathing through the contractions and seem to have everything under control so she goes about cleaning.
My house has been under construction since July 2018. Mom had been working to finish all the crown molding in the nursery and the room was a mess with step ladders and tools all crowding the doorway and the furniture moved into the middle of the room for wall access. The living room was in much the same state. In fact, the night before we had gone and picked up enough crown molding to finish the house and my car was currently stuffed with the lumber we hadn't bothered to bring inside. I really wanted mom to be there for me since she was my doula but the necessity of getting the nursery cleaned up and ready to bring Julian home to was inarguable. So I labored by myself, breathing and going between the shower and walking around the kitchen to deal with the discomfort until I finally told her to stop and focus on me instead after I heard the vacuum turn off.
I was frustrated. I couldn't time my contractions while in the shower and I knew we were supposed to call the midwives if they were a minute long and three minutes apart. I really wanted her to time things so we knew when we needed to make the call but mom was still under the impression things couldn't possibly be moving that quickly; I was handling things too well for me to be far enough along to need to go to the birthing center. As she put the vacuum away and came into the bathroom, however, she saw the bloody mucus dripping from me and decided she'd go ahead and make that call after all.
Mom and the on-call midwife talked elsewhere while I cleaned myself up in the shower. Mom was sure I was in labor but still thought I was maybe 2-3cm at most. The midwife was also pretty sure it was too early given the fact I'm a first time mom and first time labor is not generally fast but after my mom told her that the fetal heartbeat was being picked up in my pubic region rather than my stomach, she told mom to go ahead and bring me in at 7:45 and they'd do a cervical exam just to see where we were.
It was about 7am at that point but at least I now knew I was being listened to and had something to work towards. I had filled a knee-high sock with rice a few weeks prior to use as a heating pad to relieve my sore shoulders and asked my mom to heat it in the microwave for me so I could hold it to my stomach and soothe the cramping as I continued to walk circles around my home. Ā That sock became my best friend throughout my entire labor. I walked, I breathed, I let out low moans to keep myself centered and focused. Mom called her sister Mary and told her we were having Julian that day. Aunt Mary said she'd bring us over Sonic drinks to take with us to the birthing center. Cherry limeade for the win. I watched 7:45 come and go, though, with us still at the house, waiting for our drinks. I was anxious to leave even though I dreaded getting in the car. For the past few hours, the only position I could tolerate was standing and walking. Once in the car, I'd have to sit and be stationary for each contraction until we arrived.
Eventually, Aunt Mary arrived and we accepted our drinks and a large bag of ice gratefully. Mom put our bags in the car--just in case--and I shuffled out in slippers and a robe to get the unknown hell of the car ride out of the way. As we drove down the street, mom saw my sister-in-law Destiny's car driving back towards the house having dropped my brother off at work. She started to roll her window down and I gave a low and forceful "No." because we would not be stopping and chatting, we needed to get the drive over with. Mom did a drive-by "We're going to have the baby~" call to the other vehicle and we drove away, getting stopped at every red light it seemed. And it was every bit as hellish as I imagined it would be. I'd squirm in my seat, lift myself up like 'David After Dentist' to groan out the pain, my entire body protesting to the position but there being nothing but patience to push past it all since we had to get to the birthing center. I got out and walked into the building on a mission with mom following behind. She didn't bother to bring the bags in since she was still sure we'd be sent home after the exam.
I saw my midwife and her assistant standing at the top of the stairs and they lead me into the birthing suite to lay down. Laying down was as bad as sitting but I did as I was told, just trying to grin and bear it since at the very least this would tell us where we were and what to expect. Both women checked me just to be sure and announced I was already dilated to 6 or 7 centimeters and would be entering the third and final stage of labor. We weren't going anywhere; go ahead and bring those bags in.
Mom was pretty well stunned as she went to get my things. We were already halfway done and she hadn't even realized it. Apparently, I handle pain very, very well and in general had a good understanding of labor and birth. My lack of fear and desperation in dealing with these new sensations, as well as how fast my labor was progressing, had fooled everyone but me into thinking this was just the beginning.
So. 6 or 7 centimeters meant probably about five more hours of labor. No problem; just get through the next five hours and it's done. Every contraction I had was one less contraction to deal with going forward. Little goals made it easy to stay focused and just keep going.
I spent pretty much my entire labor walking. It was probably as much placebo as anything else. If I wasn't walking, I wasn't doing anything productive to combat the pain while if I was walking, I felt like I was in control just that much more. They made me sit on the toilet to empty my bladder once and that hurt so much I vomited on my mother who was sitting on a stool in front of me. I vomited on her a second time when they had me lay in the bed for a bit after another cervical exam later on (9cm) and the panting I resorted to to try and hold back the urge to push ended in a small spewage of Cherry Limeaid upon her shoulder and chest.
I hated it every time they came to check on Julian's heartbeat with the fetal monitor. They would time it so they could check on him during a contraction and I'd have to stand still for them and not hold my rice sock over my lower stomach. I wanted nothing more than to just shove the assisting midwife off me and speaking with her later at our two day postpartum appointment, I would not have been the first to do so had I.
At close to 11am, I was given permission to push if I needed to since I was nearly at 10 and 100% with no swelling. It was the best feeling ever to finally be given that option. Contractions felt shorter, they were less aggressive, and I was able to just zone out for the most part. I grabbed onto the side of the soaking tub to squat and bear down when the need arose. Most stuff past that doesn't really exist since it was a trance-like state of breathing through some contractions and pushing only when the need was unavoidable.
My Aunt Mary had been having a crappy day at work and came up to see how I was doing at her lunchtime. She'd been there before having come to my 20-week sonogram so it was easy for her to just pop by. She came into the room and took a seat but I don't remember much about her being there as within minutes of her arrival, Julian was crowning. Mom was taking pictures with her phone and accidentally took one of herself before turning the front facing camera off and snapping a quick one of me as I pushed Julian's head out, the assisting midwife supporting his head in her hand so she wouldn't miss the eventual catch.
At that second, my brother Taylor happened to be calling to see how things were going as he was getting ready for his lunch break. Mom was afraid to miss the birth if she messed with her phone and threw it down, abandoning the photos but also inadvertently answering the call. Taylor could hear them exclaim how cute Julian was and then within another minute hear them shouting "He's here! He's out!" as the midwives caught Julian and extended him up to me to hold. That was how Taylor became the first person not in the room to know Julian had been born and how my Aunt Mary got to witness it.
Julian's cord was short so I couldn't hold him very high but they walked me back to the bed to lay down with him curled against my chest. He stayed in my arms for hours as I delivered the placenta, they attended to my bleeding, and I gave Julian his first feeding. Mom cut the cord, I rested as they weighed, measured, and looked Julian over on the bed beside me. It was over and, to be honest, it hadn't been all that bad. Frustrating and annoying at times but the pain wasn't that bad, just very persistent. As fast as labor had progressed, I hadn't torn externally with only a minor internal tear that didn't require a stitch. All in all, a perfect birth with a perfect little boy in my arms in the end.
Taylor and our cousin Sean were our first visitors at 1pm. Taylor and his family came back around close to 3pm to introduce to my nieces their new cousin. At close to 3:30pm, Julian and I were released to go home. Daddy and Amy brought us dinner when they came to meet him later that evening rounding out a very busy, happy day in the best possible way.
Julian Eugene Ford was born at 12:07pm in Grapevine, Texas. He weighed 8 lbs, 4 oz and measured 19.5 inches long.
Last week of weaning off the progesterone pills. Just taking it every other day this week and OMG x_x
So from 2 pills to 1, the vomit increased by a lot. From 1 pill to none... okay, so on days when I donāt have to take it I have energy and sometimes I donāt throw up at all. On the days I have to take it, I feel sluggish and will vomit multiple times in a day. I cannot wait to be off this progesterone~ I think by October I will be a fully functional human being again \o/
I hate throwing up all day but I love the way my body functions in regards to vomit. I sit here and think āYeah, I could throw up.ā and I have all the time in the world to finish what Iām doing, make sure I have something between my legs in case itās the kind of body constricting attack that forces the urine out of me, I can make my way to my preferred throwing up location (kitchen sink), clear the sink if I need to, then just UNLEASH as soon as Iāve given my stomach permission to. No running to the bathroom, hoping I make it and unprepared for those bile pukes that leave me with wet pants and a bloody nose from their force. Honestly, if I have to throw up, this is pretty chill.
This week itās down to 1 pill every other day. Letās see how my hormones take to that~
I no longer am a patient of my fertility doctor ^_^ Iām 10 weeks and 2 days, being transferred to the midwife to be seen at week 12, and Iām being taken off my medications as well! No more taking 400Mg of progesterone every night. Now I take 200Mg until Monday when I can go every other day for a week before stopping entirely. This additional messing with my hormones means the morning sickness I wasnāt having has been rather bad for the past few days but Iām looking forward to everything just settling and being pleasant once I stop taking anything more than my low dose aspirin.
My mother, my sister-in-law, and I toured the birthing center Iām interested in. I nearly cried when we walked into the first birthing room. Iām so excited to get started with the midwives <3
I burp a lot. Feel nauseous after vitamins whether Iāve taken them with food or not. Have had a stomach acid taste in the back of my throat all morning. Pee a lot.Ā
Loving it <3
First hCG levels were on the low side with 26. Second blood test two days later was an excellent 86. Hoping for a 160 today.
This feels nothing like the pregnancy that miscarried. That one hurt the entire time and I never had any symptoms. This one doesnāt hurt and I have symptoms. Every reason to believe this will be different and will be a success.
So far the only TWW symptoms Iāve had have been:
An increase in vaginal discharge in week 1
loose or messy poops
One instance of diarrhea on CD10 after eating at a Koren BBQ. Food was delicious, Iāve eaten it before, but my stomach said no fifteen minutes later.
Some light cramping. I do not normally cramp at all for my periods.
I had my last IUI yesterday. I can't afford to try anymore after this. I'm already tens of thousands of dollars in debt to this dream. So my fingers are crossed this final time is a success.
This cycle was quite different from previous ones. Usually, I'd start my on Clomid CD3, and by about CD11 I'd be ready for my IUI. This time my eggs and lining both took their sweet time. I even had to be put on estrogen while also taking the hormone injections every other day. Ā At my last sonogram, I had a lining of over 10mm and two mature eggs over 20mm, one possibly mature egg at 18mm, and a maybe at about 15mm. I was inseminated on CD15 at about 11am.
The insemination hurt this time. A lot. The nurse had a hard time using the regular speculum so she had to switch to a longer one. I Ā could feel it *pop* past something inside which wasn't itself too painful but them leaving it in for fifteen minutes after while I Ā "relaxed" was awful. And then of course I could feel the *pop* as she pulled it back out past whatever it was she had to push past on the way in. It was a dull ache for the rest of the day to the Ā point where I laid with an icepack between my legs for a while just to numb it a bit.
The nurse prescribed baby aspirin for this hopeful gestation due to the miscarriage last time. She said it would help with blood flow which is perfect since I have a bit of an issue with blood flow. When working out I always had to take amino acids (arginine and glutamine) to recover because my larger muscles would starve for oxygen and break down without something to help support better blood flow to them. I donate platelets a lot and there is always an issue with the draw and return pressure because I just sort of suck at distributing blood to my body apparently; blood pressure is low and just in general seems to be problematic. Ā So this made a huge amount of sense to me and I'm quite excited to start because... I mean, yeah. There was no medical reason I miscarried last time but if my own problems with blood supply to my muscles is anything to go by, then perhaps this aspirin is what I needed then and will be what I need now to have a baby.
The nurse let my mother see the sperm and I got to keep the container it came in. So I have a lot of souvenirs and good memories I can apply to this IUI that would be good for baby later. And as I said, if this doesn't work, that's it. I have to wait until I have more money and until I lose some weight because OMG this past year of messing with my hormones has had a Ā good 30lbs impact on my weight.
Please think positively and put good vibes out there for me in the coming weeks. I believe this will work this time. <3
So insemination was indeed on April 29th. Everything went well and things have been fine since then. Pretty sure Iām pregnant but I know how this game goes. Last time I was pregnant I felt a distinct pinching in my lower abdomenĀ that could get pretty intense. Exact same feeling this time though the pinching doesnāt hurt near as much; itās more like pressure most of the time with only select days where itās noticeably pinchy. My blood test is scheduled for Friday but mom wants to be there when I get the results and I will be at work when I get the call so weāre doing a PT on Thursday. So not much longer at all until I know for sure.Ā
The biggest difference is that last time was always pinchy whereas this one is and then it isnāt. So I hope that means it implanted much better than the first one and has been accepted as viable offspring by my body. I would hate if the pinching meant it was just another miscarriage waiting to happen.
Got on the scale today and did not expect what I saw in the least. 191lbs. I weighed 224 in February. I weighed 190 back in June 2017 when I had my polyp removal. Iām back to where I started~
Went in for my sonogram on Monday to see how the Clomid & injections had been performing. My uterine lining was great, and I had five eggs available, two of which looked like they would definitely be ready by Saturday and one that looked like it could possibly make it as well. Took another injection last night, supposed to take another one Wednesday, then I go in on Friday to see the cumulation of the efforts. I think insemination will be Saturday morning. Sperm arrives at the clinic on Wednesday. Iām staying active. Everything feels right <3
It was harder than I thought it would be to use the follitropin alfa injection pen last night. Using the pen itself was easy but lkjkfljsad I have such a hard time stabbing myself with a needle, and you have to hold the pen in a certain way to depress the plunger with your thumb and djfkhalskdjfhaewk. Just glad I donāt have to do that very often.
I have a bit of a headache this morning but nothing terrible. Thatās 100 mg of Clomid and .5mL of the Gonal-F running through my system. Fun times~
