Walking to nowhere

I found myself lost

[ceudejupiter]

eu estava cansado de fingir que tudo estava bem então eu me permiti desabar pelo menos por hoje só hoje.

[la-d7]

no one supports you like an internet friend you never met

[virgoharmo]

I wish I was someone else...

The someone I am I really don't like.

I hate what I became. I had so many promises.

I am not who I used to be, nor who I hoped to become. And I could never be who I wish I had been since I was born.

I wish I was someone else... not me, or what I turned out to be.

I wish I could become something else. I wish I could become something better... someone better.

I wish I could enjoy life. I hope one day not too far from today I start to love to be alive.

I don't deserve the love that I have.

[virgoharmo]

I'm feeling so overwhelmed right now! I feel so much pressure to fit exterior expectations I don't feel I'm capable of fulfilling. I feel like suffocating. My life right now has only one thing good, and even this thing is causing me to feel a lot ot overwhemling self-constious about my failure as a human being. Everything else has been a mess, has been a huge trigger to my fucking anxiety to the point I think about giving up of life. And doesn't have money to even buy food and pay bills is causing me a lot of shame and sadness. I just wish I could fiz my fucking life! I'm starting to feel like I indeed should fucking die!

I want to hurt myself so bad...

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.”

— William C. Hannan

[virgoharmo]

I’m falling apart all over again... and is all my own fault

[virgoharmo]

We all can learn from our mistakes, but I can't understand why am I someone who doesn't deserve forgiveness and a second chance?!

I mean... life is getting tiring again and at this point I feel a little hopeless for my life, it looks like everything I do is wrong no matter what and the actual wrong things I did seem to be something people can't forgive nor talk to me about to fix it instead of going around trashing my name.

Sometimes I really feel like giving up for good

[virgoharmo]

I really don't intend to keep up with Camren anymore, It's not that I don't believe they are together, it's that I started to not really care that much. BUT, sometimes I still enjoy to see things related to them. Fun fact: I was searching for Camila's pictures on google because I wanted to prove to a friend that Camila and Anya Chalotra look alike, the funny thing I saw is that Lauren Jauregui is a topic related to Camila Cabello on google. Google Search will never forget Camren, LOL

[virgoharmo]

I had fallen in love with folklore, now Taylor made me fall in love with evermore.

[virgoharmo]

It's my turn to wish the best for the best! This friend of mine is going for something very tough at this moment. I have no words that can make things better, all I can say is that I love you and I'm with you, babe. I have always been with you, boo. Love will heal your heart.

[emisonme]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY GIRL!

A special shout-out to a special someone. Hope you have a beautiful birthday, and all the days following. MISS YOU!!!!!

[virgoharmo]

♥️

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.”

— William C. Hannan

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should pursue it.”

— Erada

[autumncozy]

“Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”

— Ernest Hemingway (via quotemadness)

[lovehigher]

[virgoharmo]

Goddess please stop this pandemic situation soon! I wanna walk outside my house, I wanna live a normal (?) Life again!

[virgoharmo]

My favorite thing about tumblr is that none of my real life friends follow me here (perhaps one that I do follow here follows me back? I dunno, hope not). These past few weeks have been horrible to me. I like the fact that I can get here without people bothering me with questions and judgement. I fought a few people who were spreading shit about the pandemia (fake news and trash about the left wing party), I fought my own brother for doing so, I've been dealing with my depression and the heaviness of my anxiety that has growing these days. I'm in the pandemic state of mind. I miss college just because I can't go, but also because I was doing well this new semester (the past one was a total disaster that I tried to kill myself). Btw, almost 2 weeks ago when all this shit had barely started I had tried to kill myself overdosing me. Since I'm here, it didn't work out the way I planned. I'm dealing with suicide thoughts every single day since this pandemic shit started in Brazil and I'm all alone by myself in my bedroom on campus because I couldn't nor wanted to go home. I'm seeing my therapist and taking my pills but it seems that it's not enough. I feel like I'm gonna die during this lockdown anytime soon or later. I'm distancing myself from family, trying to cut contact with them. I'm not feel well. I feel like dying. I'm scared of the COVID19 but at the same time not? I dunno. I feel strange. I'm feeling angrier each day. This year was supposed to be my good year! Everything went down with this disaster. I'm getting old and I dont know what to do. My dreams are dying. I feel like I'm being selfish with all this thoughts when people are dying. But that's how I feel. I'm also scared for my family of course! That's why I'm distancing myself from them, I'm scare of losing them so im preparing myself for when it happen. The numbers predicted for Brazil is in the house of millions because the government is doing NOTHING to prevent the catastrophe. Someone is going to lose parents, relatives, friends... I dont want to be one of them. I already lost something inside me. I think it was hope.

[virgoharmo]

I want to fall in love and be loved by the same person at the same time before it is too late.