ashlyn’s act two power ballad “wondering” was originally seb’s power ballad.**
((here are some gifs bc my attention span only lasts so long))
think about it: if you were to listen to the song without knowing the context or purpose of it, you would assume it’s ashlyn expressing her feelings, right? but it doesn’t make any sense for her character. the series didn’t really make it seem as though ashlyn struggled with finding her place in the world, as the lyrics suggest. even with the context of the song it feels odd to add an entire song dedicated to a minor character in a musical within the show.
now set the scene: carlos walks into the auditorium and hears a piano in the distance. he walks closer and sees seb, who notices that he’s there. in a panic seb scrambles to pack up his stuff. “i can be gone in like seven seconds, six if i don’t zip my bag,” he says. carlos tells him he doesn’t mind and that he wants to hear the song he was playing. with much hesitation, seb takes a breath and starts playing. (keep in mind this is basically the scene from ep 2 but with names replaced)
Seems like a part of me will always have to lose
Every single time I have to choose
Swore that it felt right, but was I wrong?
Is this where I’m supposed to be at all?
if this were to come from seb’s purely golden heart and soul, i’d assume the line “i have to choose” means he doesn’t feel comfortable “choosing” to wear what society wants him to wear. after all he did always say he felt at “home” and that he “looked the way [he] felt” in the sharpay costume. the third and fourth lines suggest he feels that sense of belonging in sharpay’s clothes but is unsure if embracing it fully is right for him.
I don’t have the answers, not today
It’s like nothing makes the questions go away
What I’d give to see if the grass was greener
seb doesn’t know what he is yet, and he’s constantly asking himself about it. from the third line we can interpret that as seb wanting to see if life is better in the shoes of a different gender (in this case, sharpay)
[Pre-Chorus: Julia Lester]
On the other side of all I’ve had and lost
Would it be enough or would I still be wondering?
If I could go back and change the past
Be a little braver than I had
Even if I woke up in my dreams
Would there still be something I’m missing?
If I had everything, would it mean anything to me?
this is where the concept of gender really kicks in. to sum up, these lyrics would have to imply that seb isn’t sure if fulfilling his “dreams” of embracing his femininity would satisfy how he feels. there would be “something [he’s] missing” by abandoning all parts of his masculinity. because of this, he doesn’t know his place in the world/his identity well enough
((more gifs bc i love them))
now carlos joins in. he sings:
[Verse 2: Olivia Rodrigo]
Feels like I might have broke the best thing that I had
I said too much to ever take it back
Scared I’ll never find something as good
And would I even know it if I could?
carlos wasn’t always treated well. we know this from multiple episodes where he thinks people are join to judge him or hurt him for saying certain things ( @atthemomentimintothis has a post about this). these few lines could be interpreted as carlos stressing about miss jenn** and how she almost lost her job, since she actually saw something good in carlos that others hadn’t.
[Bridge: Olivia Rodrigo, Both]
Maybe I should turn around and take the other road
Or maybe I’m just lookin’ for what I already know
during the second line in their duet, seb and carlos realize how similar they actually are (both have faced adversity) and that maybe what they’ve been looking for was right in front of their eyes: that being each other.
in short, look at the lyrics dude. the song makes more sense to be for seb and carlos than ashlyn and nini.
**this theory could only work assuming that the order of the episodes hadn’t been fully established yet, ep 6 came before ep 5, and carlos and seb were only acquaintances at this point
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