I don't like orange juice @virtualpetfromhell - Tumblr Blog

were--ralph

When you roll a nat 1

Someone post a gif

bluefire-axolotl

were--ralph

guards arrest them

humiliationvictim

I saw someone with a frightening kink for being tied up. That’s so scary what the hell

janusfnc14

Darling, that’s positively Vanilla for Kink. I assure you, there’s some wayyyy freakier stiff out there :). I mean Stuff.

humiliationvictim

o_0

makingtrouble

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem

makingtrouble

This is getting notes so let me just say

Himb 💞💝💘💖💞💝

fluentisonus

remember in p.e. when they'd take a bunch of insecure teenagers & be like "today we're going to play basketball" and then not teach you how to play basketball. and then put you in a group with guys who were obsessed with basketball and would get mad at you for not knowing how to play basketball. why did they do that

#or they would say we are playing dodgeball today #and eveey teenage athlete boy who hates you pelts balls at your face as hard and fast as physically possible #and when you get hit so hard ur mouth bleeds and you have to go to the nurse the gym teacher yells at you #and then the boys beat you up outside later #or was that just me lol

segamascott

hotvampireadjacent

aceynk

lalaberry factories literally pollute the earth with giggle gas which is realy bad because giggle gas makes new fucked up worms andbeetles and changes fish to have arms and makes dogs different which is not good at all the fish are feasting on the fuckdworms and creating an army and the dogs are different and the fish are making fish weapons and revolting , and italy is already gone but no one noticed for weeks because the dogs are weird now. so say it with me we need to fix this a better world is possible go out there and VOTE