@visceraghost - Tumblr Blog

wordsmayneverhurtme

Best way I can describe social aversion (because people constantly equate it to social anxiety or being overstimulated by people or something it's not) is like, yes I get stressed from having to interact, but it's not anxiety. It's the kind of stressed you get from having to chronically perform demanding tasks. And it's almost every time in almost every context. I can have known you for literally half my life and love you and I'm going to be weird about interacting because it's taxing for me regardless. It's not personal. And it is in fact not because I'm really worried about people judging me or the potential for being embarrassed. It's just that socializing is a fucking task.

sinfilth

sisyphusshrugged

from Locking Yourself Out, Then Trying to Get Back In by Raymond Carver

interdimentional

holyisthenameofmyruthlessaxe

Disciples of Passion by Hoda Barakat (هدى بركات), tr. Marilyn Booth

truthsingern

Knowing that a version of "me" exists in other people's heads, no matter what I want or what I do, is torturous. It makes me irate. It's worse when it doesn't correspond to what little information I've decided is correct about myself, but either way, it's too much. It feels like I'm being taken hostage for the mere act of being alive. You don't have the right to hold onto me. Forget me. Unsee me. Let me go. Let me go.