the bigger picture
Until recently, I had not really known what it meant to me to be a good person. I don’t lie, cheat, steal, or do things that hurt others, so while I knew I was a decent person, I did not feel like a good person.
I have totaled several hundreds, if not at least a thousand, of volunteer hours in my life. But, it has been these past 6 weeks at this housing unit that have made me feel like I am doing good, and therefore becoming a good person. I needed to do good.
The experience truly surprised me. I was surprised at how much patience I had, and how much I ended up loving these kiddos. I did not expect them to change me.
One night, driving home from class, I was transported back to the very moment I realized I was not my world. I was in the Sierras, on the way to Yosemite, where a sea of monumental sequoias towered above me and vast granite walls obscured my view of the earth beyond. It was then that I realized that I am small and inconsequential. I was just a tiny speck in this world. “My failures and successes made no real difference”, I had written before. My struggles that seemed so significant could barely cause a leaf to quiver in the wind. Being in Yosemite helped me put things into perspective when I needed it the most. It reminded me to look at the bigger picture, one that I could barely spot myself in.
I believe I was transported back to that exact moment because, unbeknownst to me, that moment had laid the foundation for something more. I wanted to be more, to be more than just a speck; to be more than inconsequential; to make a difference -- a ripple. And now I am. And as soon as I realized that, I went back to the Sierras, standing a little taller among the trees.
I am not my world; people in need are my world.