viv.

"love is something that humans fail at, and that's what makes it beautiful" -white star spectrum lord

[viviennehuynh]

this is crazy

I can’t wrap my head around that fact that I’m 20, that life has gone by so fast and changed so quickly I can barely comprehend any of it.

My mindset has changed in a multitude of ways and if you asked my how I felt about a certain topic at 15 I would definitely give a different answer now, granted that’s what life is, it’s about change. I just never how drastic the change would be.

Thus far in my life I can truthfully say, it’s messy. So much shit happens that you don’t even expect & despite all the good that happens, the bad is what your head fixates on.

I’ve reached a level of contentment with myself, I’m happy with where I’m at mentally, the people I have in my life are surreal, I wouldn’t ask for anything to change. What’s weighing me down are the mistakes I’ve made, what I could’ve done better, the heartbreak that is slowly healing. It’s hard to get over the past, even when you are happy with where you are at a part of back then still lingers in the now & im just trying to figure out a way to let go of all of it.

[book-caps]

Lang Leav

[mystereoustyles]

treat people with k i n d n e s s

[tommot5]

[viviennehuynh]

True Friendship

Recently I’ve lost a friend, who is quite dear to me, and while the circumstances in which he left were quite bitter they were understandable. Sometimes we want answers to questions we will never get to ask, and just because the quality of our relationship was one in a million, he does not owe me anything, not an answer, explanation, nothing. It was just choice to leave, and the truth of it all is that people come and go. That’s just how life works and how we grow, and that is the one and only reason as to why I am not hurt by his exit.

Though as a result of this I have begun to put his words into perspective, paying attention to the way others treat me. Questioning do they give as much as I do? Do they tolerate as much as I do? And that answer, quite frankly is no. Yes they care as much as I do, they love me but their actions don’t match up. And I’m not saying I am angry or upset because it is in my nature to give unconditionally, to care for those before me but I just hope that one day they do realize their flaws, and lack of mutual responsibility. That saying you do something is not nearly as significant as doing what you say.

As an example for why this realization has come to mind. I can listen to my friends talk about the same scenario over and over again. To listen to the same story, the same plot line, the repetitiveness of their actions, and as much as it annoys me, no matter how tired I am of hearing the same shit over and over again, I do not say a word, I don’t criticize, I give my undivided attention to them. Because that’s what friends are for, to listen and help to get through it while putting your feelings into consideration. Whilst I do that for others they have yet to do that for me. I speak of this one person on occasion, and when I do all I get from my friend is a topic change, a rude facial expression, and a short response. Yes I do understand that is it not something you want to hear me discuss, and I do apologize for my repetiveness, BUT my point is if I can listen and advise your oh so repetitive issues, why is it that you can’t give me the same respect.

True friendship lies within the basic respect for one another, the understanding of ones emotions, the mutual agreement to be supportive of each other, the unconditional love... NOT within how often you speak, in the photos of activities you partake in, in the conversations about the future. True friendship is a test of patience, care, and respect AND without any of that there is no lasting future for a friendship.

[viviennehuynh]

me.

A good friend once told me “You constantly put the needs of others before yourself. You spend so much time making sure people are happy you don’t take care of yourself. I personally think that that is stupid. Your mentality is so skewed because you have been like this for so long. Viv you need to stop giving a fuck about others, and be selfish for once.” 

And that is what I plan to do. This year is for me, for me to focus on myself. To learn to stop giving a fuck about what others expect of me, to finally put my happiness first, and to stop being so fixated on one goal. To appreciate the small things that happen in my life, to accept things the way they are, and to stop being so stuck in the past and focus on what the future holds for me. I use all my effort to ensure that my loved ones are happy, and healthy, this is the year I’m going to put that effort into myself. 

Everything happens for a reason, and now I’ve finally come to appreciate all that has happened to me. All the heart break, all the joy, happiness, pain, and losses, everyone that has come into my life, and everyone that has left. That all happened for a reason, and who the fuck knows what that reason is, but it happened and  I can’t change it. I’ve finally built up the courage to accept things, move on, and take a step towards the unknown.

Maybe if I go with the flow things will eventually fall into place.

- Vivienne Huynh

Dec. 22, 2017 4:41 PM

[breadonearth]

Even if things didn’t always go the way they should, sometimes they went exactly where they needed to.

[viviennehuynh]

Laura Dave, Eight Hundred Grapes (via books-n-quotes)

[coffeeandleatherboundbooks]

To the one that I lost, Tonight I watched a meteor shower with a boy. He was a very nice boy- more than nice, he was charming and funny and kind, and we ran barefoot under the stars to dance to our favourite song at the party, and he lent me his blue velvet jacket and pulled me up onto the wall to sit with him. And we watched the shooting stars, and he held my hand and turned his head, and we kissed. And it was a very nice kiss. And that’s why I hated you right at that moment. Because I know, that every time I ever do something like that; watching silver bursts of light on the midnight blue, or kissing someone with the music playing behind my back, or dipping my legs in the freezing river with my party clothes still on, I will think of you. And I will think of running through the sand dunes and lying with you by the fire on the beach and your guitar and your smell and your brown hands and your hands in my hair and your lips on mine and our favourite songs together, and the ones we wrote together, and the nights we would lie under the same blanket I still use and you would just hold me tight and I would never have bad dreams. So because of you, the poor boy in the blue velvet smoking jacket can text me and ring me and meet me for coffee, but he will never be you. And I will not love him, and I will think of you every time I look into his eyes, every time I see his blonde hair and not your golden hair, and you will follow me to the ends of the earth. But as much as I hate you for that, I still love you. And I hate that as well. So I will not send this, but I will write the words to get them out of me, because otherwise I will never be rid of you. With all my love, Yours.

Love Letters at 1.41 AM (via coffeeandleatherboundbooks)

[kitt3ncuffs]

I don’t hate you; I’m just disappointed that you turned into everything you said you wouldn’t.

(via kitt3ncuffs)

[21silverlinings]

This is why I left: I saw a life with you. Not in a romantic way, but the way where when I looked at the future I saw you sitting at my dining table, confessing your worries for the 1,800th time. I saw you meeting the love of my life and introducing me to yours. I saw you loving my kids like they were your own and I saw us loving each other - platonically, simply. But through our late night conversations about the world and about our futures - mere kids aspiring to be something great in a city that was always so poor - you spoke more about the way my smile lit your world up instead of what you’d do to create your own. You stopped fantasizing about meeting the love of your life and insisted that I was already in it, despite the fact that I said it wasn’t what I wanted. That this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I caught the lingering stares and the subtle comments. More than anything, I noticed how we changed; how you tried to force something on me that I didn’t want, and how you kept getting hurt in the process - silently blaming me for not reciprocating feelings that I didn’t harbor in the first place.  Three years later and I feel the hatred steam off of you when you see me on the corner of my block. I ripped you off of me like a dying limb because I knew that if I held on to you, you’d  cling for dear life - never looking forward to another version of your own future again. I left because I’d rather hurt you now and have you move on in due time, as opposed to not at all. I didn’t want you meeting the love of my life with a cold smile and tension wrapped around your first handshake. I didn’t want you to go home at night with no one beside you. I didn’t want you to look at my kids and wish they were ours. I didn’t want you to look backwards. I needed you to look forward. I broke your heart for your own good. But believe me when I say that you broke mine, too.

Fri[end]zoned // n.b. (via 21silverlinings)

[anselelgrt]

[lizbid33]

Baby Driver

this movie is flawless and here are some reasons why:

the whole soundtrack

the entire beginning sequence

when Griff (Jon Bernthal) gets in the car during the first heist and points forward and Baby slams it backwards

sign language

Joe made me so happy?

also when he signed “who’s the girl?”

Ansel Elgort’s lips? blocked

you can hear his tinnitus (ringing sound) when he’s not listening to music

you can’t hear his tinnitus when he’s with Deborah

when he takes one ear bud out the music shifts to one side

Kevin Spacey. just overall. i love him

“what the fuck?”

when he goes to get coffee and he’s listening to Harlem Shuffle by Bob & Earl you can see the lyrics graffiti-ed on the walls and poles and stuff behind him as he’s walking

when Baby is ordering coffee and he goes “yeah yeah yeah” in time with the song

Baby reciting back the entire plan and then looking at Bats and going “questions?”

“That’s my Baby.” “Fuck yo’ Baby.”

the gunshots are perfectly in time with the music during every fight sequence

when Buddy cocks Darling’s gun for her

Darling’s outfits

she’s also rly pretty the fuck

Brighton Rock??? What the fuck???? so good I love Queen

“And you’re in a pink and sparkly mood?” “I am now.”

Every time Baby smirks I wanna punch him

the sunglasses scene

the scene where he’s running away from the cops is just as intense as the car chase scenes and the gun fights

Simon and Garfunkel’s Baby Driver is so catchy fuck

“Wait, I have to start the song over.”

When he goes into the diner and it starts playing When Something Is Wrong With My Baby

Baby singing along to Neat Neat Neat

“Now you know I hate taking candy from Baby…”

Jamie Foxx’s character was unpredictable, and a little unnerving. He wasn’t like terrifying but there definitely were moments where I wasn’t sure what he was gonna do and it made me nervous

side note my dad was peeing when Bats died and when he came back and I told him Baby killed Bats he went “ah, good.”

“You took something from me that I love, now you know I gotta do the same to you.” Oh yea for sure he’s gonna shoot Deb- FUCK

that part was honestly so good I spent like 5 minutes with my mouth hanging open like fuck you Buddy you can’t take that away from him :’( 

but it also shows that Buddy really understood Baby and remember that he kinda stood up for Baby and they were bonding a lil with music and stuff it just shows how unpredictable he was

I have legitimately been listening to the soundtrack for this movie since I saw it a week ago today

his name is Miles

if Edgar Wright and James Gunn made a movie together I would die immediately upon entering the theater

don’t worry I’ll see this movie 8937459 more times so expect more of this

[tnytrtls]

[christopher-reeve]

[thelovejournals]

Every poem is about you. Even the ones about other people, they’re for your eyes only. Everyone else who reads this is just a stranger looking through the window at us. It always comes back to you. It will always come back to you.

Clementine von Radics, It’s The Way (via wordsnquotes)

[definitelydope]