genre: highschool!au (kinda), band!txt, brother's best friend!kai, fluff, a bit suggestive
summary: a little white lie never hurts sometimes. to what lengths are you willing to go to protect it?
warnings: mentions of throwing up
word count: 3.3k
a/n: this all started just from my silly little desire to write a fic with the brother's best friend trope absdjhabj but honestly, this is one of the fics that i am most proud of, it has a special place in my heart :(<3 shout out to all my dear ningdungies!!!!😼😼💞 i love you all a lot!!!!<33 (and i hope you manage to survive this!!!)
☆ = repost from my old blog!!
“carefully planned-out coincidences” - that’s what your encounters with kai were; something that would appear unsuspicious to the naked eye, yet so obvious to a love connoisseur.
a fixed set of rules had been established in order for such meetings to be successfully completed, and continued.
1. no texting each other when you’re next to others. people love to snoop and steal a glance at your phone screen, getting you easily busted.
2. no form of physical touch is allowed on school grounds, unless you’re well-hidden. you never know what pair of eyes could be lurking around.
and, the most important one of them all: 3. do not, under no circumstances, get caught by soobin.
your brother tended to be more of a quieter person with an almost inhumane kind of calmness in him. that, however, did not apply when it came to unveiling lies. had he found out you had been kissing his best friend behind his back, it would have certainly not turned pretty. you knew that the longer you kept it away from him, the harder it would be to reveal the truth. even so, you kept postponing it, as you couldn’t figure out the right way to do it. you couldn’t just randomly go up to him and say: “remember that halloween party we held last year? yeah, me and kai kissed while you were in pain, next to the toilet bowl, releasing the obscene amount of sweets you had eaten that night”.
it was not the most romantic scenario, obviously, but it was one of the very few moments when soobin and kai weren’t glued at the hip, and neither of you could take the tension anymore. taking your brother’s pitiful cries out of the image, the kiss was actually quite sweet. and no, it wasn’t because of the jelly beans kai had eaten prior to that- maybe only party. the actual reason was kai’s hand on your waist, accompanied by the breathy “can i…?” that he whispered against your cheek.
as cheesy as it may sound, it’s a night that you will never forget.
-for various reasons.
one of them being the fact that it was pretty much the the starting point of a certain “shift” in your relationship with kai. from that day onward, it seemed like both of you tried to find as many opportunities as possible to be in each other’s presence. oh- kai came over and wanted a glass of water from downstairs? whew- well, you were thirsty too, looks like you had to go to the kitchen with him. kai was left on dish-washing duty after parties? you could spare a few minutes to help him out. movie night with the boys? the only free spot was so conveniently the one next to kai.
it was thrilling, adrenaline-inducing. you could never be too sure whether you were subtle enough, or completely alone, so you had to walk on eggshells every single time, no matter what. it got exhausting though, and you wished that, at least for once, kai could come over to your house to see you, not soobin.
kai, on the other hand, was definitely more of a risk taker than you, one that saw no harm in breaking some of the rules every once in a while.
and there are no risks, without possible consequences.
it was something that kai had learned…the hard way…on the lovely day of february 14th.
soobin had invited kai to spend the day together, playing games and trying out all the mystery flavors of a heart-shaped chocolate box. initially, they weren’t supposed to be the ones indulging in the sweet treat, but soobin had chickened out before giving it to his crush at school that day. sulking uncontrollably, he called his best friend so that they could console themselves from the soul-crushing fact that they were both (to soobin’s knowledge) “single”.
while he felt bad for his downcast pal, kai also couldn’t take his mind off you. love was in the air, after all: the rom-com that played on his tv as he was getting ready to come to your house, the lovey-dovey songs playing on the radio, the couples getting affectionate on the streets- they only added further to the burning desire that he felt today, more than ever, to see you. and perhaps…not only see you.
depending on the situation, those coincidences would often consist of: hand-holding underneath blankets or tables, winks sent to redden the other one’s cheeks and, if you were lucky, an exchange of swift, tiny pecks.
none of the outcomes above satisfied him though. the more he thought about crossing paths with you, the more he wished to caress your face, to hold you in his arms- to have an intimate moment with you that involved something more than a “kiss and run” type of situation.
“hey- the race started, why are you not moving?” soobin exclaimed, his mario kart character moving way farther than kai’s across the screen.
snapping out of it, kai shook his head, placing the controller down onto the coffee table before excusing himself “i have to go to the bathroom-” he said as he placed one hand on his stomach, mustering up all his theatre acting skills to put on a pained expression on his face “i think those sweets aren’t sitting right with me”
as soon as he finished that statement, kai basically flew up the stairs, skipping 2-3 steps at once. he made sure to flip the light switch to the bathroom before striding towards your room, to make it seem like he was there.
kai made his entrance with a finger over his lips and a catlike smile.
“what are you doing? you can’t be in here-” you whisper-shouted. kai had never- ever been in your room up until that point. it was too dangerous.
however, you still gave in, not pushing him back through the door he came in from.
he walked closer, coming to cup your face in his hands “i wanted to see you”
“is that so?” you asked coyly.
kai smiled more, sensing the bit of happiness sneaking into your voice beside your attempts to appear mad at him.
“it is so” he answered, waver in his voice from excitement.
“if you don’t believe me, then i guess i could go back to soob-”
“no-” you tugged kai’s arm, laughing “stay, i was kidding”
kai turned on his heel, lips falling into place perfectly on top of yours, transferring his smile to you in an instant “you know i didn’t intend on actually doing it” he whispered, caressing your cheek.
“i know” you chuckled “but you have to make it up to me for the teasing”
you pulled at the collar of kai’s shirt, waiting for him with closed eyes to initiate another kiss. kai chuckled before connecting your lips back together, starting off with agonizingly quick pecks, then attempting to initiate something more through longer, fervent kisses that trailed down to your neck, all while he slowly made you walk backwards to your bed. it wasn’t long before you hit the mattress and the two of you ended up tangled in your sheets, with one hand tugging at kai’s hair and the other one at his shirt as he hovered over you. soft gasps escaped through your mouth- the only acceptable way to lightly catch your breath, as it didn’t involve letting go of each other.
a knock on the door, however, sent kai flying through the air.
“y/n? can i come in?” soobin asked, completely oblivious to the events happening on the other side of the piece of wood that his knuckles had grazed a second ago.
the strong fear that he’d come barging in before you answered, turned you to push the poor lover boy away earlier, catapulting him onto the floor, the fluffy rug hardly alleviating his pain.
“what was that sound- are you hurt?” you heard a worried shout. it was a clear sign that you had no more than five seconds to prepare for disaster.
“i’m coming in, okay?”
seeing the doorknob twist, kai had no time to process his anguish. he wriggled his way underneath your bed, pulling down the blanket to hide his body.
“everything alright…?” soobin took two steps into your room then froze. the sight of your disheveled bed as well as your poor, motionless figure, scrambled up his feelings of concern with confusion.
“yeah- never been better” you replied, brushing out any folds on your clothes with your hand.
soobin’s eyebrow raised in suspicion; it was hard to make your breathing seem normal when your lungs burned like an athlete who had ran a marathon.
“i swear i heard a loud noise coming from your room-”
“nope, uh- nothing here. i was sleeping before you came in” you yawned, stretching your arms up in the air to reinforce your previous statement.
kai placed a hand over his mouth, careful so as not to move the blanket or make any sounds- why did you have to say something that would direct soobin’s attention right in his direction? your brother sneaked another glance at your bed, judging its unusually messy state.
“are you building a bird nest or something?” he huffed, placing his hand on the doorknob, about to leave “don’t answer that actually- i don’t want to know. i just wanted to tell you that the pizza is gonna arrive in about thirty minutes. if you don’t come down on time, i can’t promise that there’ll be any left for you”
with that, the door was shut, allowing your body to slide down to the floor in relief- and the breath trapped in kai’s lungs to be released.
it was only after this incident that kai’s venturesome nature seemed to be slightly tamed. not once did he try to sneak into your room again, nor did he dare to bring up the matter. the one and only thing that he could do, was to look up at you with troubled, wary eyes as he pecked your lips, knowing that it didn’t stand in his power to do more.
nevertheless, it wasn’t long before he proceeded to go back to his usual antics, the feeling inside his heart all too unbearable.
after all, not everyone can resist temptation, can they?
people knew that it wasn’t an unusual occurrence for you to be spotted in and outside the school with the most in demand band of the city, txt- your school’s pride and joy, which both your brother and his best friend were part of. so, whenever you tagged along with them, say it were to a local show, backstage, or during rehearsals, no one questioned a thing.
what was uncommon though, was you receiving private messages from the band’s notably fine pianist, kai, and giggling while responding to him, on top of it all.
this scene was witnessed by a certain someone who you thought had fallen fast asleep in the middle of class. little did you know how effective the bell ringing was to wake him up and how he had the most perfect view to the conversation taking place on your phone screen.
kai
[9:17 am] can you stay after the rehearsal today?^3^
[9:18 am] i miss you…
the witness slowly placed their head back on their desk, choosing to stay silent. this kind of matter required evidence, direct confirmation, and therefore they chose to follow you around for the rest of the day, like a shadow, thoroughly analyzing your words and actions; the texts were your first strike of the day, could there have been anything else you were keeping in the dark? the answer is yes, and you can take that literally- it turns out that the lonely, far corner of the school library makes a good spot for “discreet” pda.
you and kai were tucked away in that poorly lit spot, hugging, laughing- blissfully unaware of the third pair of eyes there with you, glossed with anger and action-driven by betrayal.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“and that’s a wrap- good job guys” yeonjun clapped his hands, turning from the microphone stand to face the group with a smile.
“kai, cleaning duty is on you today. make sure you don’t forget to lock up the doors before you leave” yeonjun threw the keys in kai’s direction, which he caught effortlessly.
“what? you always ditch on me when we get paired up together- what could have possibly gotten in the way this time?” kai’s brows furrowed in annoyance. he wasn’t one to enjoy picking a fight, but yeonjun was taking too much advantage of his compassionate nature. he had enough of all the chores landing on him every week, without fail.
“scored a date with that girl from the mall” yeonjun winked “which, by the way- starts in less than half an hour. so, i gotta go, sorry buddy. maybe you can get somebody else to help you”
everybody else’s eyes turned to the floor after yeonjun parted ways with them, blurting out random reasons to be excused: “i have a project to finish” “i did it last time” “i just don’t want to do it” ; nobody was enthusiastic about staying at school overtime.
nobody, except for you. you were about to say an excuse of your own when the realisation hit you: you and kai? alone? with none of the boys around? it was a rare occurrence, one even rarer than the blue moon. you couldn’t simply pass by it.
“i can help you”
soobin watched you from the corner of his eye, biting his tongue to prevent any words from slipping out. you had stayed behind to help the members out before, it would be weird if he only started commenting on the matter when it was kai you were going to stay with.
“we’ll leave you to it then” beomgyu swung his arms around soobin’s and taehyun’s shoulders, leading them towards the door before you could change your mind.
“yeonjun always does this” kai huffed, picking up the acoustic guitar from the floor “i love him but- for once, i wish he’d keep his word- or at least not cancel on me last minute” the more his spoke, the more reckless his movements became.
“careful with that- no matter how cheerful beomgyu might be most of the time, i don’t think he’d be too happy to see his guitar destroyed by you”
“sorry” he said bashfully, resting his body against the wall with a sigh “i guess i’m just fed up with everything”
as you placed a hand over kai’s cheek, his eyelids fluttered shut, comfort already washing over him.
“would a kiss make you feel better…?”
kai nodded eagerly “i might need more than just one kiss though” he whispered, bringing his hand to the back of your neck to pull you back closer.
his kisses were playful at first, with smiles and chuckles interrupting every once in a while. then, when he switched positions, bringing you to be the one trapped against the wall, he began alternating between pecking your lips and lightly biting them, chaste touches soon turning into something more…heated. hands brushing over each other’s bodies in a frenzy, swollen red lips caught in an endless, desperate chase, like you had never had a taste of something sweeter.
what had gotten into you both? doing something this risky in such an “honourable” place. it was the lousy heap of all your lies and yet the most enthralling point of them all.
too bad that adrenaline rushes don’t last forever though.
you felt kai’s heart thump against your chest as you cupped his jawline to bring him back for more, but your next kiss never came to fruition.
“am i interrupting something?” the person standing at the door’s threshold cleared their throat to grab your attention.
you felt your blood turn cold upon hearing the sound. having a hunch about the sight ready to greet you, you turned your head at an awfully slow pace.
“care to give me an explanation?” soobin stood with his arms crossed, the expression on his face indecipherable.
in a single day, all of the rules you swore you’d follow like a saint, for the sake of your relationship, had been broken.
kai was dismissed from the room by soobin without being given a chance to speak. it was your words he wanted to hear first and foremost, it was you who left him the most perplexed ever since he took a furtive look at your phone screen this morning, or since he saw what you were up to in the library.
you were silent, rubbing your hands with your head hanging low. lies can’t last forever, you knew that, but you wished the right to make that dreadful reveal was in your hands to hold.
your brother cleared his throat, awkwardly shifting his position in the plastic chair he sat down on. when he abandoned the boys earlier because he “forgot something” in the practice room, he didn’t have a concrete plan in mind.
“how long?”
“what?” you murmured.
soobin repeated himself “for how long has this been going on? this…thing between you and kai?”
your throat went dry- your first instinct was to spit out another lie. upon better thought though, you realised it was have been ridiculous to even try and deny anything, given the fact that you were caught mid-act. the only actual option left for you was the raw, honest truth:
“…a year” you said reluctantly. soobin only nodded his head.
the silence soon felt direful, and neither of you could tolerate it. soobin turned his head up to look into your eyes, he got the answers he was looking for, now it was his turn to be sincere with you.
“y/n, i’m not the one who chooses who you’re gonna love- and as much as it bothers me that, out of all the people, it’s my best friend who you fell for- i can’t tell you to stop seeing kai”
his words turned your mind in even more of jumble than before. that was it? no screaming? no need to pull out the classic “but i love him“? it was a rare occurrence for the two of you to settle things so easily, it felt like you were suddenly picked up and placed in an alternate universe.
“so, what i’m getting is…you’re approving of our relationship?” you asked, feeling the need to have a definite confirmation of his feelings; none of the scenarios you had imagined before where you revealed your relationship matched the result of this one.
soobin hummed “as long as you don’t hoard him on the weekends- he might be your boyfriend now, but he was my friend first. i’ll have him on saturdays and you can have him on sundays, deal?”
you smiled, shaking his stretched out hand “deal”
“shouldn’t kai have a say in this too though?”
“something tells me he’s already agreed to it” soobin laughed, pointing at a “totally-not-eavesdropping-kai”, the half-open door revealing his pink cheeks along with both of his thumbs up.
summary: your friend group decides to take a weekend getaway trip to the mountains, but it isn't until you stay in a cabin in the woods that your crush on one of them begins to make itself known. mutually :)
wc: 5k
content: best friends to lovers, cozy woods fluff, the rest of txt is mentioned, light cursing, handholding, cuddles <3, and smooches ^3^
♬🌲soundtrack:
to the mountains - lizzy mcalpine
meet me in the woods - lord huron
let’s go outside - far caspian
apple cider - beabadoobee
evergreen - richy & the coal miners
home - edith whiskers
calico - haux
alps - novo amor
sparks - coldplay
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
you trailed your fingers along the soft wind; feeling it grow colder as you watched rows and rows of pine trees line the road, ears popping as the car climbed elevation.
you looked over at the dark-haired boy next to you; your best friend kai who was in the driver's seat, both hands clutching the wheel. a laugh erupted from your mouths when his voice horrendously cracked as he attempted the high note to a song playing on the radio, his contagious dolphin laugh echoing through the car as you both laughed your asses off.
“maybe i should've taken taehyun up on the vocal lessons," he says once he catches his breath, mentioning your guys’ other friend, who also happens to be the best singer you'd both ever met.
you snorted, patting him on the shoulder. "i mean you could right now, he's in the backseat," you motioned to the back where your friend taehyun lay sound asleep, headphones snug as he leaned on the window.
kai muffled a laugh with his hand, looking at the sleeping tae through the rear-view mirror. "oops! i totally forgot he was here," he giggled quieter now, trying to forget how he was once screaming the lyrics to a song.
"kai- we planned that taehyun would come with us and that the choi's would all follow us in yeonjun's caravan. actually- i wonder if they're there yet." you leaned against the window, checking the “six lo$ers” group chat to see if your other friends had arrived to the cabin.
"oh, no, we're definitely getting there first, i need to make sure i get dibs on the room with the comfiest bed," kai stepped on the gas, determined to reach the destination before the other three boys who would surely compete for the same thing. you laughed, rolling your eyes. this is going to be fun.
~
with a minute to spare, kai pulled into the gravel next to a large pine tree in front of the cabin you’ll be staying in, quickly opening your doors and running out of the car once he took the key out of the ignition.
“crap where’s the key?!” he patted his baby blue hoodie frantically, seemingly unable to locate the key to the cabin’s front door. your heart nearly stopped when you heard the familiar honk of a black caravan pulling into the driveway as well. shit! it’s our competition.
"kai hurry!" you held his arm, pulling at his hoodie impatiently as he was starting to panic and screaming his loud, usual screams you were long used to. you stuck your tongue out at beomgyu as he was quickly unfastening his seatbelt and went to open the car door but it was locked, turning to yell at yeonjun which was silent from where you stood.
“quick get in!” at the last second kai found the key in his jean pocket, quickly unlocking the door and shutting it behind the two of you before beomgyu could reach it as he was sprinting towards you. all you heard was his pounding fist and yells on the other side, telling you to open the stupid door!
you and kai stood shoulder to shoulder, backs to the door huffing and laughing as you made it inside first. you didn’t think the shenanigans would start this early on in the trip. but all six of you together? it's certainly bound to happen.
you give kai one look before he grabs your hand, pulling you into the cabin which is quite larger than what you expected. you didn’t quite get the chance to take it all in since you were being pulled down the hallway by your best friend, but it’s warm, wooden interior and cozy ambiance certainly made you feel right at home.
“quick! we need to find the room with the comfiest bed. they have a spare key and they’ll get in soon,” kai whisper-yelled as he pulled you into the nearest room, adrenaline pumping, jumping onto the bed together and rolling around in it before moving to the next.
the next room was a bit bigger, but the moment you hit the mattress, you felt as you had just fallen face down on a rock. “solid no!” you jumped up laughing and the two of you moved to the next room excitedly.
soon enough, you heard the front door rattle and you both jumped on the last bed, immediately hitting jackpot. before you knew it, beomgyu ran into the room with a mischievous look on his face, grimacing at kai. “they’re in here!” he motioned to the other two boys, immediately sprinting over to the bed.
beomgyu jumped right on top of kai, wresting one another and you helped kai by pushing gyu’s arm off, failing miserably when yeonjun also piled on top. soobin just watched from the doorway, shaking his head. “you realize there are other beds right? and where is taehyun?” soobin’s question made everyone stop in their tracks and look at one another.
“he’s still asleep in the car.” kai laughed and you all ran out to wake the poor boy up.
~
the warmth of delicious soup soothed your vocal chords after hours of karaoke in the living room with the boys, eating it on the back patio with kai as the rest of them were either inside napping or doing silly little things in their own world.
the two of you lounged on folding chairs like a storybook elderly couple on a sunday morning, basking in the crisp forest air as you observed the vibrant green trees. occasionally spotting an exuberant looking bird and excitedly pointing it out to one another.
“shh!” kai quickly shushed you as you were in the midst of slurping your soup, stopping abruptly with wide eyes.
“do you hear that?” he leaned in closer, pretty eyebrows furrowed as he cupped a hand to his ear. you shook your head, quietly setting down your soup.
“i think it’s…running water?” he looked over at you quizzically and you really tuned into the noise, at first only hearing the occasional chirp of a bird or wind through the pines, but then you began to faintly hear it. like white noise. water trickling down upon rocks in the distance.
your eyes lit up and kai was quick to notice, his bright smile spreading from cheek to cheek. “wanna go look for it?” he nudged your foot with his, both sporting mismatched fuzzy socks.
“what kind of question is that?” you scoffed, raising a brow; you didn’t even have to explain yourself for him to know it was a solid yes.
kai had a habit of grabbing your hand and pulling you along with him, that’s how your friendship separated itself from the rest of the boys since long ago. he was known to be the closest to you out of everyone, considering you were always practically attached at the hip.
and so he did his usual; grabbed your hand and pulled you into the cabin to get on shoes before heading out in search of this mystery body of water.
beomgyu lay asleep on the floor like an old watchdog, missing his opportunity to tag along when you and kai soundlessly slipped out of the front door.
you followed right behind him, quick footsteps in the gravel and then onto dried leaves and twigs snapping beneath you once you reached the forest. you both swiveled your heads all around and above you, infatuated with the way the tall evergreens and pines tower up into the sky, nearly disappearing into the foggy clouds.
the fresh, pine-scented afternoon air tickled your nose as it was much colder than what you were used to down in the city, but it was more refreshing than anything. it felt good to get away. to be in silence. especially getting to see all these amazing sights with kai.
you only whispered to one another, needing to be extra quiet to be able to hear in which direction the water was coming from. the sound did indeed grow louder, signifying you were getting closer.
kai beckoned you over to where he stood, eyes wide. you jogged over, crunching leaves under your feet as you reached him. low and behold, you had stumbled upon a tall, but gentle waterfall, it’s water cascading down upon large rocks.
your head reached his shoulder when you stood next to him, always a perfect place to rest it as you both looked up at the shimmering water, astonished smiles on your faces.
you made your way over to the body of water surrounded by rocks at the waterfall’s base, occasionally getting splashed by cold droplets that ricochet off of the large boulders.
“kai? what are you-” you shot him a confused glance as he bent down to take off his shoes and socks, slightly rolling up his shorts.
“we’re getting in silly!” he threw his leg over one of the rocks bordering the edge, screaming when his feet were submerged in the ice cold water.
“we’re?” you crossed your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at him as he held his hands out to you. you knew kai pretty well— he wouldn’t sabotage you by throwing you into the water like the others would. you trusted him to be gentle and civil with you, as he was more sincere than anything. of course, he loved to joke around but he knew you would despise getting thrown into ice cold water.
you removed your shoes and rolled your pants up before taking his soft and warm hands in yours, feeling his attentive eyes on you as you carefully dipped your foot in, the breath leaving your chest at how freaking ice cold it was. of course, your penguin-like friend was able to get in effortlessly.
“this is impossible ningning!” you grabbed his shoulder for support as you clenched your jaw and stepped all the way into the ice-cold water. he hid the small blush on his cheeks of the endearment of his name he so loved hearing you say.
the two of you waded over to the waterfall, hands occasionally brushing as you were careful not to slip over the moss and small pebbles under your feet.
your necks swiveled to look up at the waterfall, cold water pelting you as you stood mere inches from the cascading water. mesmerized, your hand drew out to run your fingers under the cold stream; kai following as he smiled at the icy sensation.
you watched your hands under the falling water, the only sound in your ears of it plunging in front of you, too loud to hear anything the happy boy next to you had said. you wiggled your fingers under the cold stream, numb by now that you didn’t notice the tips of your fingers had trailed onto huening’s under the water.
he stood there, a bit surprised, but subconsciously moved his fingers slightly closer to yours, hand nearly on top of yours. it wasn’t until he turned to look at you that you felt the need to hide your face, feeling your cheeks grow red and afraid he would notice.
something about the air. about being alone with kai in the forest. you had always found him pretty but right now— right now his beauty struck you in a way you felt your heart beat in your chest. sunshine radiating behind him like a golden halo over his dark locks, dreamy eyes and a smile to melt over. what is happening?
with a shy smile he interlaced his fingers with yours, opening his mouth to say something but not even bothering because what he had to say would be drowned out by the waterfall. so he began to pull you under the waterfall with him, your eyes widening when you realized what he was doing, but your heart took over and inevitably followed.
it was like ice, drenching your right shoulder and then your head and down your hair, then your left shoulder and you were completely submerged, mouth open at the sheer shock as it took the breath from you.
your best friend’s hair had matted down completely to his forehead, covering his eyes completely which drew a hysterical laugh from you. he reached up with your conjoined hands to sweep the hair over his forehead.
he showed you a toothy grin and you couldn’t help but examine his face through the sheen of water, beginning to fawn over droplets scurrying down his pretty nose.
you thought maybe you’d been staring for too long, darting your eyes away from him and over to the rocks around you, curious about the small flowers growing between the cracks.
yet, you caught him staring at you from out of the corner of your eye, small smile on his lips as his eyes darted around your face. you couldn’t avoid the small flutter in your chest.
you and kai were usually on the silly side. prolonged eye contact and blush on one another’s cheeks not exactly what you two usually share.
“whatttt?” you yelled over the roar of water, tilting your head to one side, noticing his apparent nervousness when he shyly looked down at your hands.
taking a small step forward, leaning in close so you could hear him over the roar of water around you, chest nearly pressed to yours.
he opened his mouth to say something and nothing came out but a small laugh, apparently nervous to say whatever it was. you cupped his cheek as to comfort him, suddenly aware of your gesture and shocked as to what you were doing. you’d never touched kai in such an affectionate way.
“you can say it, kai.” you assured him, your voice loud enough for him to hear. how couldn’t he hear you anyway? his face was a mere 3 inches from yours. you felt slightly uneasy at this proximity but you also kinda really liked it? your emotions buzzing all over the place at this unprecedented tension.
but kai didn’t say anything, he just stood there, looking at you like you were the beautiful waterfall in the forest, taking in all of your natural beauty.
out of no where, you leaned closer, standing on your tip toes and pressed your lips to his cute nose. what a stupid, stupid idea. what the hell am i doing?
but he found it absolutely adorable, face scrunching and high pitched laugh exiting his lips.
“you like my nose?” he asked you quizzically, and you nodded, having to look away with a slight tinge of embarrassment, squeezing your eyes shut.
then grabbing your chin to angle your face back to his, still flustered, he musters up the courage to look you in the eyes, flicking them down to your lips and back up to admire you.
you were simply overtaken by his dark brown eyes; noticing the way his pupils dilated as he focused nearly into your soul, sinking into the dreamy trance that you never knew your best friend was capable of pulling you into in this way.
in a million years, you never thought you'd share a kiss under a freezing cold waterfall in the middle of the forest with kai kamal huening. but here you were, leaning into him, the nearest proximity you ever had since knowing him, not paying any mind to the occasional shivers and goosebumps pelting your body.
he closed the small gap that was left between your lips and you stayed there, slightly squeezing his hand as your heart felt it would beat out of your chest. the kiss was short and sweet and you almost wished it had been a little longer. but kai pulled away slowly, his cheeks the reddest you had ever seen them.
“and i like your lips.” he giggled, eyes nearly shut with how big he was smiling. you never knew kai felt the same way about you until now, dropping small hints along your friendship that you didn’t quite pick up on until now, only now getting his message with a sweet peck to your lips.
by now, your body was frozen and you pulled kai out of the heavy stream with you, not able to withstand it any longer since the adrenaline was wearing off and you could now begin to realize just how cold you were.
you wrapped your arms around your body to withhold as much body heat as you could, violently shivering with how cold you were. kai was cold too, but he made warming you his priority, wrapping his arms around you to hopefully try and help.
“here, stand on my feet,” he requested and you did just that, balancing on the tops of his feet as he walked the two of you over to the exit, helping you over the rocks and getting your shoes and socks for you.
you smiled, the only warmth in your body provided by his kind gestures that would melt anyone’s heart.
“race you back?” you looked down at him as he tied your shoe for you, his eyes flicking up quickly at the sound of those words. and before you knew it you were sprinting after kai in the woods; feet numb but heart warm and racing just as fast as you were after him.
~
“never seen that hoodie on you, is it new?” yeonjun asks as he stirs his hot cocoa, gazing at him from your spot in front of the fire place.
“oh it’s kai’s, actually!” you sip your apple cider, snuggling into the oversized baby blue hoodie that kai lent you a couple days ago once you returned from your freezing cold adventure.
“oh so now you’re wearing his hoodies hmm?” beomgyu nudged you, a mischievous grin on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively, exaggeratedly winking at yeonjun from where he stood in the kitchen.
the boys had began to notice your closeness with hueningkai especially recently on this trip, due to the fact you two would sneak out at random times and leave them without a clue as to where you two were.
of course, they knew you were always close in comparison to everyone else, but recently, they hadn’t even seen you two much because of how much time you were spending together out who knows where.
they made conspiracies that you guys were secretly dating and would go out on little cute dates everyday, that’s why you wouldn’t tell them. yet they secretly cheered kai on because he was so happy lately. and when kai was extra happy, everyone was extra happy.
and to be honest, that conspiracy didn’t sound too completely far from the truth. ever since you and kai had kissed at the waterfall, you had grown even closer; your bond deepening and tangling so much that it was almost confusing. you hadn’t felt this way for anyone before and it confused you that it was your best friend; you didn’t want to ruin what you had.
but you wanted to be with kai every second of every day. and he wanted to be with you.
~
and at sunset, you and kai escaped again. hand in hand running into the woods as it was now your favorite place to go.
each time you ran off into the forest, you found something new about each other that you hadn’t known before. hell, you had even discovered what each other’s lips feel like the very first time you even ran off.
you spent your time climbing trees and sharing snacks amidst a deep talk and of course laughter, then carving both of your initials in whichever tree it was, marking it yours.
when you got too tired of walking, kai would carry you on his back, not minding at all. he enjoyed it actually, always offering to give you piggyback rides no matter how tired he got.
you would occasionally go back to the waterfall, sitting on the rocks or skipping stones across the water to see who’s would go further.
today kai wore a loose, earth-toned wool jacket with nothing under but a dainty silver necklace, zipped up enough to expose a bit of his chest. it drew your eyes like a magnet to his pretty collarbones glowing in the setting sunrays.
“i like this jacket on you,” you gingerly traced your fingers along the woven material, a shy smile on your lips. your compliment made his heart skip.
of course, you two were still bestest of friends, doing goofy things and blabbing about anything and everything. but when you caught his eye or exchanged a small compliment, you both got so shy and quiet and blushy around each other.
you were both aware of another option you had now, completely new and foreign to your relationship; the small kiss from a couple days ago. you held the memory fondly since the moment it happened, warmth spreading across your chest at the thought.
your head rested on his shoulder, watching the waterfall together as you decided to look up at him, eyeing the plush of his lips.
“can we..try it again?” you sort of beat around the bush, hoping kai would pick up on what you were throwing down. you felt too shy to ask your best friend directly if you could kiss him.
“what, race to the cabin?” he furrowed his brows and you laughed, head falling back onto his shoulder.
“i meant-”
“i know y/n, just messing with you,” he nudged you, a sweet smile on his lips.
somehow, it felt natural, like this had been something you had both long wanted to do. like something you were made to do. you kept the comfort of your head on his shoulder and he leaned down to place his lips on yours, slowly melting into the kiss with your eyes fluttered closed.
you could sense everything better now; the warmth of his soft lips, the subtle taste of the watermelon you had snacked on earlier whilst sitting atop a tree, the subtle cool breeze blowing pieces of your hair astray. you enjoyed it even more now, since the first was a bit interrupted by the freezing cold waterfall.
after a few moments, you broke the kiss with an interrupted thought, staring into his eyes and then trailing your gaze to the water where you stared at your reflections. his broad shoulders like a large blob in the water, then yours a smaller blob. it was always like this; next to one another for as long as you could remember. you love kai. and you don't want to ruin what you have.
“this…this won’t ruin our friendship, right?” you were hesitant to look up at him in the eye as you slowly look back up at him, almost worried he would regret it.
but he only smiled, shaking his head.
“never, y/n. you’ll always be riiight here,” he pointed to his chest, at the spot right over his heart. you warmly smiled, finding him the absolute most adorable boy in the world. how could you not have the biggest crush on him?
it all made sense now. kai was everything you wanted and needed in a partner, in a friend, in a lover. but you always pushed away any sort of feeling in fear of losing him. but how could you lose him- how could you lose him if he's always been by your side through it all.
“forever.”
~
the front door creaks as you both sneak back into the cabin, completely pitch black as the boys had gone to sleep, considering it was half past midnight.
you both tip-toe down the dark hallway, finding every room was closed and in use except for the one at the end of the hall; the one you and kai had claimed on the first day.
you could see his pearly smile faintly in the dark, silently cheering that they didn't all steal the room with the comfiest bed. you held onto his arm as you blindly walked down the hallway and into the room, flicking on the dim night light to provide just enough light to see his soft facial features, hair slightly tossed by the breeze seeping through the window.
you two were long past the i'll sleep on the floor so you can have the bed phase of your friendship, so you shared the bed as it was normal for the two of you. and through all these years, never once had it felt uncomfortable even in the slightest. all you ever did was look up at whoever's bedroom ceiling in deep conversation and occasionally kick at each other's feet under the covers.
tonight, a certain tension blanketed the two of you as you lay next to one another, pinkies interlaced under the sheets as you stare up at the high ceiling of the cabin, listening to the subtle whir of wind through the trees.
you felt cozy here, in this little cabin tucked away in the wilderness with your best friend(s). you almost wanted to snuggle into him, but that had yet to be established.
“i like you, kai.” your voice suddenly emerges lowly from the still room, the sound of his rustle under the blanket apparent as he tightened his pinky around yours. turning to face you, you did the same, facing one another with cheeks squished to the pillows.
"a lot." you whisper with a growing smile, just inches from his lips as you stare into the chocolate glimmer of his eyes. you could feel your heart pounding in your chest and drumming into your ears.
with a gentle finger, he lightly tucks away a stray piece of hair behind your ear, bringing intense warmth to blanket your cheeks. you couldn't quite see in the dark, but his were dusted with a rosy tinge as well.
“does this mean we can cuddle now?” his voice comes out shyly, smiling and red in the face at his own question.
you giggle, nodding and smiling so big that your eyes are nearly shut, slowly scooching closer to kai. almost unsure as to go about this, considering it's your best friend you're cuddling.
but you just go for it; pressing your chest to his, wrapping your arms around his torso, snuggling your head into him, cheek pressed to his warm neck and filling the space under his chin perfectly.
he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, silence filling the room again once you both find the spot you are most comfortable in. you can hear his heartbeat as you breathe him in; warm calico fabric like fresh laundry. the closest you've been to this comforting scent that you wanted to be engulfed in eternally.
"i'm glad we agree, but i like you more," he adds. you giggle, burying your face into his warm chest and you can feel his smile grow with the way his voice flows like it always does when he's brimming with happiness, picturing his cute face in your mind and what he looks like right now.
"at the waterfall i did what i've wanted to for so long." his voice vibrates on the crown of your head, feeling his chest sink as he exhales, relaxing into you; relieved to confess what always weighed on him. eyes fluttering shut as he enjoys your warmth and the scent of your hair curling into his nose, tracing light circles into your back.
you pull your head away to the beautiful sight of his face, looking up at him and finding his eyes shut but then flutter open to look down at you, his lips curled into a pretty smile and slightly parted, looking too good not to kiss.
and so you lean up slowly, inviting him to lean down and close the gap for your third kiss, feeling his heart pound against yours. you're infatuated with the way his hand always comes up to cup your cheek, savoring every moment he had with you. in this moment, your love grew for your special boy, falling for him evermore.
~
"kai over here look!" your feet patter against the snow as you run towards familiar rock formations, sprinkled with snow as you point at it, covered in white.
he runs up, giving you a large hug from behind, his large wool jacket engulfing you in its warmth, a kiss to your cheek; now a normal thing.
summer and autumn had passed twice and your souls had intertwined more than you could even fathom; ever since your best friend had become your boyfriend, your life became filled with so much pure happiness that you could easily mistake any day for a fairytale.
with the help of his grasp, kai hoists you up so that you sit on the rock he had brushed the the light dusting of snow off of, threading his arms through yours to hold your waist as he places his chin in the crook of your neck.
it just felt so natural, like this was what the two of you were born to do. always destined to be together and never, ever apart.
the bitter winter breeze wasn't so bad with his warmth seeping into you, cradling you so good and you swear you'd never felt comfort until you fell in love with this boy.
after a few moments of enjoying the view of the frozen waterfall, kai pulls his arms away from you and instead dangles his dainty necklace around your neck, the same one you noticed two years ago in this same place.
the small bead at its end weighed down onto your sweater, drawing your eyes down to the sparkling jewel; noticing it was the shape of a heart. a token of his diamond love for you.
"i wanted to give this to you then," he whispered, a sweet smile on his lips when you turned to face him.
your eyes said it all, holding the words i’ll love you forever in them without having to say a word. he just knew.
“my heart is yours.” he says as he embraces you, hardly able to contain your emotions as you hug him even harder, as hard as you could, for that fact.
his love felt like warm blankets on a cold morning, a crackling fireplace as you sip warm apple cider, cuddles during a midnight storm, the much-needed hug after a long day. he felt like home.
"race you back?" he tilted his head with a sly smile, helping you down before disappearing off into the woods. you chased right behind, sure to beat him this time.
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
a/n: this is a very late hueningkai bday fic!! i share an august birthday with him so i wanted to write a comforting fic for our bdays lol :) hope everyone enjoys and happy late bday to anyone who had one in august or having one soon (yeonjun fic coming soon)!! 🥳 love u all <3
huening kai x gn!reader , tags; mermaid!kai , human!reader , modern fantasy au , fluff , courting , slightly inspired by the little mermaid ofc , rejection , angst , getting together ? in a mermaid way , mates/soul ties , reader is sleep deprived , taehyun is a smartass , totally not stealing outfit inspo from sugar rush ride as an addition to the plot wdym haha
warnings: making out , reader's gender isn't specified but you wear dresses , near death experience? reader almost drowns
a/n: hiiii! sooooo i tried something a little different this time for my fairytale-esque fantasy lovers??? lmk how u guys feel about it :] i hope you enjoy!!! (edited but not beta read so pls excuse any mistakes aaaa)
wc: 8.4k+
you love the ocean more than anything else in this big, wide world. you treasure the crisp air and the salty, but comforting scent of the atmosphere, the way the rays of the sun would bounce off of the rushing waves and onto your skin fills your heart with an uncontained warmth, and the sunset reflected on the surface brings you a sense of serenity. you have loved the ocean since you were little—growing up on the coast, the sea was basically your backyard.
your mother had nicknamed you “droplet” from the way you would always run into the house dripping with ocean water, spending most of your days out at sea swimming—your favorite thing to do was pretend to be a pretty mermaid, chosen to protect the reef from any bad guys nearby. the ocean is your home, your sanctuary… where you belong.
ever since you moved towards the inner, bustling part of your town, you have made it your mission to visit the beach every few days if you can, whether it be to stay for three minutes or three hours. so here you are, stepping onto the sand with bare feet in a secluded area of the beach, jacket discarded on some random rock, notebook and pen in hand. you prefer writing your lyrics out here; the sounds of small waves hitting the shore and the occasional squawk of a passing seagull always seem to calm you, letting you release any tension in your muscles. you have been overworking yourself lately, staying up all night to produce and write songs, barely having any time to yourself to just be.
you settle down into the sand, resting your back against a washed-up long, and from there, you let your pen do all of the work. the air is a bit harsher than usual, the breeze whipping around you, knocking the bottom of your dress up slightly with the movement. you cross your legs, digging your toes into the sand as you look up at the sky—it’s a dull gray filled with heavy clouds making their move toward your small town.
a faint frown makes its way onto your face; a summer storm must be coming soon. the clouds are still a ways away though, so you bask in the small time you have left to relax, writing down a few more lyrics as you listen to the quiet song of the sea.
words flow easily onto the page as you let your train of thought take the reigns, a familiar serenity washing over you. the wind, although slightly aggressive, feels nice on your skin—it’s a little clammy outside, the humidity of summer lingering in the atmosphere. everything is hushed, peaceful, and you think you can fall asleep right here on the shore.
the calmness in your body only lasts for so long—your body snaps to alert as a loud, echoing shriek interrupts the quiet. you tuck your legs into your chest as your eyes scan the beach, but nothing seems out of the ordinary, save for a forgotten towel a little further down the shore and the heavy clouds above you.
you squint a bit as you look out onto the water and a beat later, you notice a head peek out from under the deep blue surface. it’s not alarming in the slightest, though—divers do frequent this area during this time of year. brushing it off, you let your body relax as you settle back against the log, watching the diver go back under the water.
for a while, things go back to the way they were, your pen writing down as many lyrics as possible, tapping your foot in the sand as you hum a quiet tune to yourself. figuring out melodies has to be your favorite part of songwriting—hearing the words on your page come to fruition is a beyond-satisfying feeling. it isn’t until a few minutes later that your groove is heckled once again, that same shriek you heard before ringing through your ears.
your eyes immediately find their way to the water, your heart nearly stopping in your chest as you lock gazes with the same head you saw a moment ago.
you’re quick to realize that whatever you’re seeing isn’t a diver. the man, or rather… creature has emerald green eyes, almost glowing as they glare from above the water, its dark hair wet and pressed down against their forehead. something akin to white, fish-like scales line the side of its face, flashy and sparkling. you can’t see the rest of the face due to the waves, but the head goes back under before you can fully process what you just saw.
you’re frozen still—those unnaturally green eyes send a chill down your spine. there’s no way that was just a diver, or a passing fish. whatever it was, it freaks you the fuck out. maybe you’re just imagining things. you’ve been running on less than three hours of sleep a day, staying up late to write and produce. you have over 20 commissions to complete in the next two months, so to say you’ve been neglecting your health would be an understatement. thinking of the fact, you decide it’s best to head home early; not only to avoid the soon-to-come storm but also to possibly squeeze in a quick power nap before the all-nighter you’re about to pull.
shooting a quick text to taehyun about how you’re so looped out, you’re starting to hallucinate (and receiving a lengthy scolding of a text back), you make your way home—and you don’t let yourself look back onto the water after a third noise sounds from behind you. must be a dolphin mating call.
or something like that.
the clouds have parted for the sun the next day you make it onto the beach. the wind is still persistent, but it’s not as bad as the day before, so you simply zip your jacket up to your neck as you walk through the sand. you didn’t bring your lyric book today—partially because taehyun had chastised you over the phone about your workaholic tendencies—but you really just wanted to relax. there’s a slight crook in your neck from the awful sleep you had last night, your eyelids heavy and your movements nearly sluggish. this lack of sleep has really been doing a number on you, but you know the sound of the ocean waves can help you de-stress, even just a little bit.
as you make your way to your usual spot against that big, washed-up log, you notice things sparkling in the sand right where you normally sit. you tilt your head in confusion, making your way over with a little more ferver in your step.
a small circle of pretty shells rests in your secluded spot, sparkling as the sun hits their smooth surface. they twinkle like stars in the sky and you can’t help but gasp at how beautiful they are, luminescent and bright. in the center of the circle sits a small, rusted gold necklace with an attached hand-carved pendant—the symbol is a crescent moon with faint initials at the bottom that you can’t quite read. you look around to see if anyone is around to claim the necklace, frowning a bit at the deserted beach. someone must’ve forgotten their things.
you take a closerlook at the beautiful array, running your fingers over the awe-worthy shells—and one, in particular, catches your eye. it’s a pristine white, so rich you’d think it were manmade. it glimmers as you gently pick it up, holding it up to the sunlight. the color reminds you of those scales you had seen above the water the last time you were here.
it’s odd—whatever you imagined seemed so vivid and true. you can still physically feel the intensity of those green eyes, sharp and prying from where they watched you over the colliding waves. the sight had been so jarring that when you closed your eyes to rest that night, a pair of verdant ones glared back at you in the darkness. you don’t get enough sleep as it is, but you were barely able to get a wink of it with that image in your head.
you take a good look at the shell one last time, declaring it too beautiful to leave here all alone on the deserted beach—you slip it into your tote bag before taking a seat a few feet away from the necklace, just in case anyone comes back to retrieve it. the waves are gentle as they crash onto the shore, leaving seaweed, pebbles, and little crusteaceans in its wake. the sound is lulling as you settle your back against a nearby rock, letting your eyes slip shut to bask in the peaceful bliss.
you may have underestimated just how tired you really are, because as you blink your eyes open with a tiny yawn, you realize you had fallen asleep. the hidden gleam of the sun has moved towards west and you aren’t sure how long you’ve been here, but the uncomfortable pain in your lower back from the sharp rock behind you is telling enough.
it isn’t until you hear a small, surprised noise next to you that you actually will your brain to wake up. the scream you let out at the sight of a man crouched down next to you is absolutely embarrassing—especially with the way he simply fliches back a bit, his eyes widening at the sudden noise.
his eyes.
they’re a shockingly vivid green, round and dilated as he blinks owlishly at you.
they look incredibly familiar.
he seems to be just as startled as you are, and as your vision focuses a bit more, you notice the pearly white scales that sit on his face, glistening in the sunlight. tiny, pointy fangs peak out from his slightly ajar mouth, his black hair fluffed up and sun dried as it falls in waves on his forehead, framing his face prettily.
he’s very pretty.
but holy shit—you gasp as he blinks at you again, finally remembering where you’ve seen those eyes from.
well, this is great. you are so sleep-deprived that your imagination has now festered into some sick lucid dream.
wake up, y/n!
the man—the thing—seems to sense your disarray, a quiet noise sounding from the back of his throat as he reaches out to you with furrowed brows. you jump, moving back from the sudden movement, eyeing the fangs that rest on his bottom lip.
oh god, this dream feels all too realistic and now you’re about to get eaten by some sexy monster man! this is why it’s important to have a consistent sleeping schedule, y/n!
you can hear your heartbeat in your ears as he stands to move in front of you—from this angle, you can get a good look at his figure. he’s incredibly tall, with long legs that go on for miles. his frame is covered by a tatted black and white sweater that just barely hangs onto his shoulder and a satchel across his frame, his upper body completely exposed to the slightly chilling air. he wears loose white shorts that reach just above his knees, littered with holes and tears—as if they had been washed onto sea after a treacherous journey across the ocean. that gold necklace from before rests in his hands, the chain dangling down and clinking softly in the wind. it must be his, you register. you open you mouth to defend yourself as not-a-theif—but you’re quickly cut off.
he doesn’t speak other than to hold out the necklace to you with a small and insistent noise, his green eyes flitting quickly between yours. the pounding in your chest is incredibly persistent, every single bone inside of your body urging you to not take it—but your hand seems to have a mind of its own, reaching up to grasp the damp gold, your fingers shaking as they brush over the green-eyed man’s.
you can see the way his eyes glimmer as you warily hold the necklace against your chest, your breath stuck in your throat as he digs around in his satchel again. there’s no way you aren’t dreaming, everything seeming like a haze around you as you inspect the scattered white scales on his cheekbones, eyeing the fangs that slightly peek out from his mouth which leave shallow indents on his bottom lip.
his head turns towards you again and you feel your neck heat up from being caught staring, your gaze shooting down to your lap. you squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself to wake up from this lucid dream, ignoring the way you can hear the man so clearly shuffling around in front of you.
you’re lucid dreaming, y/n. you really shouldn’t have eaten right before bed! wake up, wake up, wake up.
you count to ten in your head before you open your eyes again, flinching back as you find emerald green staring directly into yours. he’s kneeled down in front of you now, one of his hands in the sand next to your foot, his head cocked curiously as he scans your face—his thick, black hair falls into his eyes messily and up close, you notice the tiny beauty marks littered across his face and neck, the way his lips are bitten red, and the steady rise and fall of his chest.
so you aren’t dreaming? then that means…
the man is cautious as he raises a hand to his chest, pressing over his heart before he bows to you. your mouth is dry—what the hell is going on?
you have no time to think before he lifts his head again, gazing up at you through his impossibly long eyelashes, the tiniest shadow of a smile slipping onto his lips.
“i am kai.”
his voice is clumsy and horse, almost as if he doesn’t use it much, and a heavy, unknown accent paints his words as he speaks. the white scales on his face gleam in the sunlight and you find yourself slightly intrigued, wanting to reach up and feel them, but stopping yourself from doing so.
the man… or rather, the creature seems gentle enough—if he had planned on biting your head off, he surely would’ve done it by now. you let your guard lower as you sit up a bit, the necklace still clutched tightly between your fingers.
“my name is y/n,” you respond quietly—and the way his face lights up is absolutely blinding, a broad gleam taking over his initially shy smile, his scales twitching in an almost cute way. you watch as his hand drops from his chest, moving into your space to cup the side of your face. your body immediately tenses at the unexpected touch, a noise of surprise leaving your lips.
he leans forward as if to kiss you and a surge of panic courses through your body, cringing away from his hold—but he does no such thing. instead, he rests his forehead against yours, mumbling something in an unrecognizable language as his eyes flutter shut. you’re frozen in slight shock, but the lack of fear in your body confuses you to no end. you should be trying to run away from this strange creature, but instead, you feel… relaxed. a calm washes over you as his skin touches yours, feeling yourself be lulled by the quiet words he speaks to you.
when he pulls away, the grin is still on his face, running his finger down your cheek before moving out of your space. you try not to acknowledge the slight emptiness that fills your chest at the loss of touch, a faint and warm trail lingering from where is finger had traced.
“you took… you took one of m-my shells,” kai speaks with an eager bounce in his tone, gesturing toward your tote where that glimmering white shell still remains. your eyes follow his hand, quickly reaching for your bag to pry it open and search for the shell.
“oh, i’m sorry! i didn’t know it had an… owner…” you trail off as his eyebrows furrow, his lips twitching downwards as you grab the shell out of your bag. “you can have it back if you want…?”
the creature’s eyes comically widen, shaking his head at your words. he pushes your hand back towards you, a small whine emitting from his throat.
“gift,” he states firmly, nodding towards the shell. you look down at the shell quizzically, everything slowly piecing together in your head bit by bit.
“you… did you leave all of those shells for… me?”
the bright smile quickly returns to the creature’s face as he nods fervently, his scales rippling in excitement. while you finally got answers to the weird phenomenon, you’re still full of bewilderment—what is this creature and why is he giving these gifts to you out of all people? it simply makes no sense.
“for you,” kai confirms, leaning into your space again now that you seem to understand. you catch the way his verdant eyes flicker with an emotion you can’t quite read.
offering him a genial smile, you gently place the shell back in your bag. “thank you… but… why?”
the creature cocks his head, confusion overtaking his charming features at your question. he turns his head to glance back at the water before meeting your gaze again, pointing in that direction.
you blink at him a few times, trying to understand what he’s referring to, but nothing comes to mind. seeming to sense your puzzled state, kai reaches into his satchel again—his eyebrows are furrowed with concentration as things clink and clang around in the bag. all you can do is sit and watch as he hums with contentment, pulling out a tiny metal ring before setting it in the sand before you.
you gape at the object, glancing down at the ring and back up to his eyes a few times—because if this is what you think is happening… and if this isn’t a dream… then you’re definitely hallucinating. you aren’t ready to get married! especially not to some strange being who clearly doesn’t know the concept of personal space.
“what is… what is this?” you ask quietly, your voice wavering slightly. kai smiles at you, nodding towards the ring gently.
“for the humans to know y-you are my mate, y/n.”
you blink at him, feeling your breath catch in your throat.
his what?
“i’m sorry… i’m not your… uh, mate. i—i think you’ve gotten me confused with someone else…” you begin slowly as you move to stand and get the fuck out of here; something you should’ve done when he first approached you. kai is quick to shake his head, his vibrant eyes dulling with something melancholic and heavy, reaching out to grab onto your bag so you can’t go.
“i am not confused. you are my mate,” kai speaks desperately, still kneeling down with the ring now slightly buried in the sand. you don’t know what type of creature he is, or what is even going on, but you are certain this doesn’t have anything to do with you.
you’re a human and he’s a… whatever he is. there’s no such thing as mates. he’s surely one hell of a hallucination. next time, you’ll actually listen to taehyun’s lecture about the side effects of sleep deprivation and too much caffeine intake.
“this is… this is crazy. i have to go,” you respond sharply, ripping your gaze away from his distraught eyes—something in your heart pangs deeply at the pure sadness on his beautiful face, your gut twisting with something sticky and vile.
kai’s fingers hesitantly let go of your bag with a quiet, pained noise, shrinking in on himself as you give him one last glance before quickly heading towards your car.
when you take a glimpse back to the shore as you begin to pull off, the man is nowhere to be seen—except for a slight glimmer of a white scale disappearing beneath the tide.
for the next few days, it rains—thick and heavy clouds cover your small seaside town, drenching every bit it can reach. the beach is closed off due to high tides, the waves all too harsh and cutting to be safe for visitors. being cooped up in your apartment is starting to drive you crazy—you already miss the salty smell of the water, the softness of the sand between your fingers…
and the calming touch of the strange creature you encountered.
it’s something horrible in the way that this… thing has been overtaking your mind, tainting your mind with emerald green every passing second. every time you sit down to write a new song, your pen develops a mind of its own; going on about the ocean’s waves, and glittering white scales, and vibrant eyes. it’s like a curse, the way you can only think about kai and nothing else.
after ruminating in your thoughts as the rain continues to nearly flood your town, you’ve come to the conclusion that kai wasn’t a hallucination. that shiny white shell sits nicely on your dresser, right next to the gold necklace you had been so selflessly gifted.
you try not to let the guilt eat away at you—the creature had been nothing but kind to you, but the uncertainty is too much. what, with the talk about mates, the gifts, and that eerie calmness that overtook your body as he whispered those foreign words to you… it sounds like something straight out of a fairytale.
it’s late when you settle into bed, your laptop resting in your lap as your phone sits on speaker next to you—they say curiosity killed the cat, but you need answers. sleep be damned.
“so what you’re telling me is that a strange, sexy man with scales on his face gifted you random shells and an old ass necklace before claiming you to be his mate?” taehyun recaps through the phone, voice coated in monotone incredulity. it sounds absolutely ridiculous when he puts it that way, but you’re having a hard time believing it even happened yourself, so you can’t blame him.
“i said a strange, sexy creature, not man.”
the line is silent for a second.
“y/n… i know you’ve been stressed lately, but don’t you think it’s time to bring these delusions to a licensed professional—”
“taehyun, this isn’t a delusion! it actually happened!” you huff out, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you try to put yourself in his shoes—if your friend told you they’ve been approached by a majestic creature, you’d also recommend them to get help—but you know what you saw. what you felt.
“that’s exactly how delusions work, sweetheart. we may think things are real, but—”
“hold on, shut up. listen to this,” you click on a link to a news page set in your town, the article dated back to 2007. “two foreign aquatic creatures were spotted near the shore on june 6th, at approximately 3 pm. they are described to be humanoid beings, with scaly, fish-like features.”
“y/n, that’s literally like every fish ever.”
“since when were goldfish considered to be ‘humanoid-beings’,” you quip, actually rolling your eyes this time before you zoom in on the blurry pictures provided on the site. It’s hard to make out in the 480p photo taken from a distance, but there seems to be two people, a male and a female, washed up on shore. they have long, shiny fish-tails that glisten in the way the scales on kai’s face did, their torsos completely human save for the gills on the sides of their neck.
it’s all too jarring, all too real—and in your mind, right then, it clicks.
“please don’t tell me you think—”
“i think he’s a mermaid, taehyun.”
back when you were young, still the little “droplet” everyone knew, your grandmother would tell you and the other kids in your town stories about how she once fell in love with a mermaid when she was young. they’d met on the same beach you frequent and pursued their love in hiding. she’d go on and on about how he was the most beautiful person, or rather, creature she had ever laid her eyes on. how he was gorgeous and alluring—and the way his green scales sparkled in the sunlight.
you seemed to be the only one to ever believe her stories, even in the slightest. you already loved the sea, and the prospect of mermaids, real-life mermaids, inhabiting the waters you adored so much intrigued you to no end. you would stay at the shore with your grandmother after all the other kids had gone home for dinner, begging her to tell you more stories about this mysterious mermaid who held her heart.
she had said mermaids were forbidden to interact with humans, let alone be with one—but the two of them didn’t care. they had believed their love was too strong for even the wind and sea to tear apart. she spoke of how after the fishing industry became prevalent in their town, she had begun to see him less and less, until one day, he had stopped showing up at all—thus being the dull end of their story.
thinking back on her words now as you stare at the pixelated photo, things slowly begin to come together in your brain. he’s a mermaid. he has to be. there’s no other explanation.
“you’re still stuck on that? you know your grandma once told me a watermelon would grow in my stomach if i ate the seeds? i was scared for years, y/n. years! i don’t know if she’s the most reliable source—”
“this is the only thing that makes sense though,” you mumble as a pair of bright green eyes fill your thoughts.
it’s like something is calling you from deep inside your soul, something anguished and distressed—and it’s calling you back to that beach. you know answers are there. even if this all turns out to be some weird, ongoing delusion, you need to find out the truth—for your own peace of mind. (and maybe taehyun’s as well, seeing as he’s still rambling on about his fear of being pregnant with a watermelon.)
and in all truthfulness, you want to… need to see those eyes one more time.
it’s a horrible idea. actually, it’s in your top 10 most stupid y/n moments.
sneaking onto the shore is easy enough. there’s no lifeguards on watch, or any lingering public safety employees as you step onto the sand. only a sliver of it is visible—even your usual spot is covered with water as the waves crash against the shore with untainted vigor. the rain is heavy, grimly pouring from the sky in buckets. your jacket isn’t doing enough to block it from seeping through the fabric, making your clothes cling to your skin uncomfortably.
honestly, you pitched yourself to be smarter than this–-everything in your body, ever nerve and muscle screams at you to run around and go home. there’s no point in trying to prove something that simply doesn’t exist. they say the human body can only run on so much sleep before you start to feel out of character; and you already feel like you’re outside of your body.
it’s like you’re in a trance, under a spell as your feet keep on walking, your vision completely focused in the darkness of the night as you scan the water for anything. it feels like something inside of your body is calling for someone, the feeling profound and wretched to the point where it makes your heart heavy and raw.
that feeling tugs you like a magnet, past the public part of the beach and to a more vacant, woodsy area where trees and bushes reside, the branches hanging over and dipping into the water, leaves being whipped up by the unforgiving breeze. you’re close—you can feel it, deep inside your soul.
the waves are unrelenting as they tumble over eachother, some shallow ones hitting your ankles and splashing up your legs—and you’re too out of it, too entranced by whatever song is singing inside of your chest to watch where you’re going.
you trip over a rock hidden in the sand, falling over yourself as your already drenched form becomes soaked with ocean water, the harsh waves tumbling over you as you try to sit up. you’ve always been a great swimmer, phenomenal even, but the storm has turned the ocean into something wicked and unlawful, pulling you further and further into the water the more you struggle against it.
you’re tugged into the rip before your brain can process it, having only half the mind to call out for help—but it’s not use. the waves are too loud and the pouring rain drowns out any and every noise in the breeze. it’s too dark to see anything and you can already feel yourself tiring out as you fight to stay afloat.
the ice cold water does wonders to sober you up from whatever hypnosis you were under and now that your mind is clear, true panic and terror sets deep into your chilled bones. you’re going to die out here, in the hands of something you have loved since you were a child. things really do come full circle, don’t they?
the full moon resting in the condensed sky is the last thing you see before you completely black out.
you feel it before you even open your eyes. a heavy, burning hand on your back and a heated finger trailing down the slope of your nose. your entire body is warm from head to toe, your cheek cushioned by a soft, cotton-like material. a captivating voice sings a gentle song in words you can’t understand, the volume just under the perpetrator’s breath—the sound is almost completely muted out by the roaring sea outside.
the roaring sea.
you inhale deeply as if you’re searching for air that’s nowhere to be found, sitting up quickly with labored breaths. your eyes automatically lock onto a figure—an all too familiar figure with worried green eyes and luminous scales and soaking wet hair that drips water onto the sand.
kai.
you fling yourself into his arms despite both of your wet clothes. his touch is grounding and comforting as you bury yourself into the crook of his neck, holding onto him tightly. he doesn’t speak as his arms hesitantly wrap around your torso, his hands smoothing down your back in silent consolation. only then do you register the thick sweater that is strewn across your shoulders—it’s the same one he had on that first day you met.
the thought makes your eyes brim with slight guilt. he has just saved your life, even after you so rudely ran away from him. you want to apologize, but nothing comes out as you finally break away from the embrace. he won’t meet your eyes, and that fact alone makes your heart wrench.
“how did you… how did you know i…?” the words are stuck in your throat as you gape at him, trying to not let your eyes wander down his exposed clavacle where a few more shiny scales reside. kai’s pretty, pretty emeralds are sad—the kind of sad that radiates off a person and spreads to everyone nearby. your gut clenches. he’s quiet for a few beats before his hand moves to his chest.
“i… i can feel it. your fear,” he whispers, his hand resting over his heart as a visual communicator. you don’t know what to say, any words that come to mind die on your tongue just as quickly as they appear. your silence is incredibly loud as kai’s bottom lip trembles, hastily standing to his feet. your eyes follow him as he take a couple steps back, creating distance between the two of you. your body immediately goes cold, feeling a harsh shiver run up your spine, wracking your entire body.
“i am sorry,” kai mumbles solemnly, looking down at the sand below him, his hands folded tightly in front of his body. you’re still shivering despite the sweater draped across your shoulders, staring up at him as you wrap your arms around your body.
“why… why are you sorry?” you inquire, feeling your heart pang at the whine that leaves his throat. he won’t meet your eyes and you already find yourself craving to see those vibrant irises again.
“you r-rejected me as your mate. i must leave you alone now,” kai nearly whispers as he strictly keeps his eyes trained in the sand. he should be cold in his sopping clothes—this heavy wind and pouring rain outside of the small cove is enough to freeze just about anyone—but he seems completely apathetic to the weather.
an ugly, weighted emotion rips through you at his words, mentally cursing your past self for being so rash about it all. you don’t know the implications of “rejecting” a mate, but with the way kai is weary of stepping any closer to you, you’re sure you’ve done enough damage to last a lifetime.
“kai—i’m sorry about what i said. i’m still confused, but…” you inhale deeply, watching the way his scales sparkle with the reflection of the moonlight on the water. he’s truly gorgeous. “i’m willing to listen if you want to teach me. about what all of this means… about yourself.”
you can physically see the way kai’s breath hitches, his body tensing up as he just barely lifts his head, emerald green peeking through his dark shaggy hair. kai’s eyes meet yours and you feel something akin to relief wash over you. he seems to be waiting for something as his eyes glimmer with hope and hesitancy, so you give him an affable smile, warm and inviting, before patting the spot in front of you.
kai’s scales ripple as his weary demeanor softens, quickly moving to take a seat in the sand. he mirrors your position, pulling his legs up to his chest, your feet almost touching from how close he is to you. your heart stutters a bit as he watches you, his gaze filled with so much infatuation and mesmerization, it fills your stomach with knots.
“what would you like to know, y/n?”
the way your name rolls off of his lips, sounding oh, so elegant coated in his unnamed accent makes your head spin. his moles are placed perfectly on his unblemished skin like stars at night, his eyes shining like the moon herself.
“i want to know what you are,” you start, speaking quietly so that only he can hear your words. kai smiles at you, his pearly fangs showing themselves once again. they aren’t so scary now—not with the way his hands are so delicate as they mindlessly draw shapes in the sand or the way his scales ripple once again as enthusiasm overtakes his body.
“i am a mermaid. the sea is my home.”
the words would have surprised you, had he told you the very first time you two met, but now they simply settle the uneasiness in the pit of your gut. it all makes sense now. the scales, the eyes, the shells, and his fantasy-esque features… he’s a mermaid.
you inhale deeply to collect your thoughts—the fact that this is all real is too much to take in at once. you look down at your own feet buried in the sand, shivering again at a harsh gust of wind. your heart rate picks up as kai lets out a soft sound, reaching up to adjust the sweater around your shoulders, running his hand down your arm before retracting. the touch that lingers in his fingers’ wake is incredibly warm, feeling it spread throughout your entire body. you want to feel it again.
“i… i thought mermaids aren’t supposed to be seen by humans,” you nearly question as you find his eyes. something sharp flashes through them, as stormy as the night sky above, and you feel your breath catch in your throat.
kai glances away as he thinks for a moment, his pupils shaky as the words strike him. he’s tensed up again and you begin to think you’ve said the wrong thing.
“you don’t have to tell me, kai. i’m just… i’m just glad you’re here with me right now.” your voice is incredibly gentle as you coax him to look at you again, watching the way his shoulders slowly relax at your tone. he doesn’t look at you, though—his eyes stay trained on a random rock, his fingers twitching from where they sit in the sand. he’s quiet for a bit as you two sit in a light silence, the sound of the fierce rain and the rough waves outside filling in the space around you.
it isn’t until he takes a deep breath, those emeralds on his face absolutely glimmering when they meet your eyes. there’s no smile on his face, but his eyebrows are slightly furrowed and his eyes are so incredibly sincere, you feel it pierce through your heart like a sword on fire.
“you are my mate, y/n. i will do anything for you,” kai speaks, closing his eyes for a second. “even if i had to betray m-my coven to find you… my life is for you. nothing else matters.”
his words invoke a deep stirring inside of you—the urge to reach out and caress his face, to hold onto his hand, to feel his skin—it’s untameable. it’s as if a flame is ignited inside of you as he opens his eyes, hearing your heartbeat pound incessantly in your ears, watching the way his scales flicker as they reflect the moonlight. his eyes are entirely dilated as he scans your face, the vibrant green of his irises overtaken by his dark pupils—you feel completely bare despite being fully clothed, vulnerable like a butterfly pinned to a board.
it’s only then does he move, untucking his legs to kneel on one before you—almost an exact replica of the way he had bowed to you the first time you met. he reaches his hand out to you and without a second thought, you take it, letting him pull you both to stand. his fingers are ice cold, but a warmth spreads throughout your body like wildfire, a soft gasp leaving your lips as he tugs you closer. he lifts his other hand to rest on your cheek, his eyes flitting in between yours.
when he leans in again, you’re ready, your eyes slipping shut as he presses his forehead to yours. you can feel his breath on your lips, the sensation sending tingles down your spine. he’s silent for a moment before he whispers something in that enchanting language of his—even though you can’t understand what he’s saying, his timbre is like a lullaby, filling your head with cotton and stardust.
“i… do you feel it?” kai whispers as his nimble fingers stroke your cheek gently.
he doesn’t elaborate—he doesn’t need to, because you do. you feel the way his touch leaves a burning trail against your skin, the way his eyes pull you in like quicksand, entrancing and bewitching, and the way his voice sounds like music to your ears. you feel it all, and you’re nodding in response before you even realize it, registering the way his hand grips onto yours tighter, his breathing picking up ever so slightly.
“it does not matter if you are human, y/n. our souls are connected… and mine has not stopped searching for yours.”
you’ve always wondered why you resonated so much with the ocean. sand is a pain to clean out of shoes, the waves can be terribly unforgiving, and the tide even stole your favorite pen once. but nothing can deter the pull you feel toward the sea—or more so, towards what resides in the sea.
your mate.
you don’t have to say anything for kai to know you finally understand, blinking your eyes open as he lifts his head. his eyes are practically glowing as they lock onto yours, his fangs peeking out as he smiles at you, his scales rippling and fluttering animatedly.
“you are so beautiful,” he speaks through his small gleam. it’s such a cliche, but the way he says it holds so much weight, it squeezes your heart painfully. he says it like you’re a breath of fresh air, as if you’re the most captivating thing he’s ever had the pleasure of seeing with his own eyes.
the heat that crawls up your chest blooms throughout your entire body, wrapping your heart in a cozy blanket as his fingers trail down from your cheek to your jaw, tilting your head up ever so slightly. you don’t move away—and in all honesty, you have no desire to. he’s gentle in the way his hand lets go of yours, finger by finger, before moving to find a home on the small of your back.
you’re not shivering anymore. his touch is incredibly searing, yet impossibly calming, feeling your mind go dizzy as his eyes search yours for something you aren’t quite saying. it’s almost nerve-wracking, how the suspense builds up in your chest as those emeralds flicker down to your lips, feeling your body grow hot all over.
“will you allow me to… to k-kiss you?” kai whispers, not even the aggressive waves outside able to drown out his voice in your ears.
there’s no doubt in your mind as a breathy “yes” slips into the air.
he’s clumsy with the way his lips find yours, your hand coming up to his chest. his heartbeat under your palm pounds at lightening speed, his body slightly trembling as your lips move against his tranquilly. there seems to be no rush, melting into his embrace with each passing moment.
the press of his fangs against your lips only slightly stings when the tips of them dig in a little too hard, and kai is quick to soothe over the pain with a swipe of his tongue. he tastes of ocean water, a bit salty, but there’s another sweet undertone as well that you can’t quite place your finger on. you don’t linger on it for too long—you don’t want to have to use your brain, so you lose yourself in the feeling of his fingers against your spine, his thumb brushing over your jaw so delicately, you almost want to cry.
his tongue prods against yours as he presses closer to you, as if close is never close enough, as if he wants to sink into your body and become one. your mind is hazy, but you feel safe as his fingers trail down to the side of your neck, leaving fluttery, ticklish sensations in the process. he explores your mouth as if you are a cavern full of gold, mindless to the way small, needy noises leave his lips. it’s overwhelming for the both of you, engulfed in this little bubble you’ve created.
when he pulls away, it’s slow and reluctant, leaning back in a few more times to get another taste of you, peppering kisses down your jaw and your neck. you can’t help but moan softly at the feeling that stirs in the pit of your gut as he nips and bites and sucks at your skin—completely enamored with you.
he places one final kiss under your ear before his emerald eyes meet yours—you preen at the way he looks at you like you’re the heart of the sea, the ocean herself. it’s too much and not enough at once as you tuck yourself into his broad chest, your heart beating in sync through your dampened clothes. it feels right. this—him. he feels right and now you’re certain he isn’t just a measly dream.
the sky appears to be unreal, coated with lovely hues of pink and purple, a deep orange settling near the horizon as the sun lowers itself from the sky. it’s still warm out, the tide low as you tip-toe through rocks and shells, feeling your heart fill as tiny hermit crabs take cover in the sand, holding the bottom of your flowy dress up so as to carefully watch your step. the waves wash against the shore with a subdued rhythm and the sky is void of any clouds—the calm after the storm.
your breath catches in your throat as you see the man waiting for you at the end of the shore, his black hair mussed and slightly damp. it seems as if he’s been waiting for a while—he stares off at sea, sitting just a few feet from the tide as his hand mindlessly picks up sand and lets it fall through his fingers.
he’s oh, so gorgeous, even from afar. the white button-up he adorns is rolled up to his elbows, legs covered by brown pants that flow in the wind. his trusty satchel is slung across his frame, seemingly full to the brim as it rests in the sand next to him. a contemplative look resides on his face, his head slightly tilted to the side as his mind wanders. you almost feel guilty for the thought of disturbing this quiet moment.
but then you’re reminded that he’s waiting here for you—your stomach flutters as he turns his head, those vibrant eyes lightening up at the sight of your figure making its way toward him. he stands to his feet with the brightest smile on his prince-like face, his pretty fangs pressing into his bottom lip in the cute way they always do.
his scales ripple as he pulls you into the tightest hug you’ve ever experienced, a serene buzz washing over you as he safely holds you to his chest. you register the feeling of him pressing small kisses onto the crown of your head and you giggle a bit at the fluttery sensation. you tilt your head up to meet his eyes; and they never fail to make your head spin, containing so much sincerity that squeezes your heart in all of the best ways. he cups your cheeks, the warmth of his fingers spreading down your neck and blossoming in your soul.
“i missed you,” you speak softly, and you mean it—nothing, no one can compare to the way kai can make you feel so loved and wanted with a singular, simple glance. you dream about his little beauty marks, his wide smile, and those iridescent scales that sparkle when the sun hits them just right. even just a few days without being near him makes your core surge with a deep longing—and now that restless feeling finally dissipates as he leans in to kiss your nose, and then your cheek, and finally your lips.
“i have missed you more,” he mumbles against your lips, his nose brushing yours as he kisses you so delicately, attentive to every little noise that leaves your lips. his hands smooth down your sides, running his fingers over the soft fabric of your dress, coming around to press against the small of your back.
when the kiss breaks, you’re rendered breathless, blinking your eyes open to find him already watching you. the faint smile on his face widens as you reach up to carefully touch the sparkling scales on his cheekbones before running your fingers through his disheveled hair. he leans into your touch, his eyes fluttering shut with the gentle movement of your fingers.
“how long have you been waiting?” you question as you finish adjusting his hair, resting your palm against his chest. he hums in thought before he opens his eyes—and you’re in awe at the way the setting sun manages to reflect in them, looking like specks of gold against his irises.
“not long at all. i-i made something for you last evening,” he responds almost shyly. your eyes widen in surprise, watching as he takes a tiny step back to open his satchel. his cheeks are flushed a pinkish-red once he pulls out a handmade crown, woven with dried seaweed, softwood, and the prettiest, eye-catching flowers you’ve ever seen. there are even a few tiny shells tucked in here and there, and they all sparkle the same, twinkling as the sunlight hits them.
“you made this?” your voice comes out airy, in awe at not only the gift, but also the thought of him spending time handmaking something for you. kai nods timidly, looking up at you through his eyelashes. your heart threatens to explode as he gestures toward your body.
“m-may i put it on y-you?” he asks, a slight nervousness coating his voice and you’re quick to nod, bowing your head a bit to give him better access. a quiet, enthused noise escapes his lips before he can contain it, stepping close to you again. he adjusts your hair ever so slightly before situating the crown on your head. you can’t see yourself, but you’re sure it looks amazing by the way kai’s scales flutter, his gleam almost blinding as he moves back to admire his work. the crown is light and a few of the flowers tickle the side of your face. you feel beautiful.
“you know you don’t have to keep gifting me things, right?” you softly chide with a little chuckle, but kai’s bright smile falters at your words, cocking his head in confusion with a little whine.
“do you not… do you not like m-my gifts for you?” kai’s voice slightly trembles and you’re quick to backtrack, grabbing onto his hands with both of yours.
“no, no, no, kai–-i love your gifts. it’s just… isn’t the courting stage over? you know i’m yours, right?”
kai’s eyes sparkle with admiration as you speak, letting go of your hands to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you close to his body. he’s warmer than he usually is, and you suspect it has something to do with the humid air around you—the storm has long since passed, the shore drying up quickly, leaving only fluffy sand and a quiet, sedated ocean in its wake.
it’s a reflex now, to close your eyes as he gently rests his forehead against yours, a faint, contented hum sounding from the mermaid.
“you still deserve the entire sea and all of the stars, my beautiful mate.”
it’s horrible, the way your entire body tingles, feeling your face heat up from his words. it should be sappy and sickeningly sweet, but his voice brings you nothing but peace, letting yourself melt into his embrace as he subtly sways you both to the rhythm of the waves.
— pairing: idol!huening kai x trainee!fem!reader
— genre: fluff
— word count: 9050
— disclaimers: totally a work of fiction. what txt had to go through was nothing compared to what's in this fic. :'( pessimistic kai who falls for a wildflower trainee. mentions of katseye and hints of lesserafim!
— synopsis: in a lonely and gray world filled with cycles and never ending rules, there was something vibrant about the wildflower that wouldn't fade out.
— series masterlist
— author's note: accuracy and timeline of this is -100%, please take everything as a fiction and don't come at me. TT wildflower is one of those songs where i felt 5sos' aussie roots sooo much, and honestly, kai is such a wildflower irl!!!!!
Routine was oxygen. Huening Kai had inhaled it so deeply that every breath felt measured, filtered, and portioned out in perfect increments. Even his footsteps down the tiled hallways of the Bighit building had an engineered precision to them. Three steps per square.
Safety, he’d learned, was what you clung to in the absence of freedom. It was a cage with a very soft lining.
The air in the trainee dormitories was always humid, the condensation on the windows gathering in streaks that blurred the city outside. Sometimes, if you squinted, you could imagine the world was foggy, mysterious, open. But every morning the sun would burn the illusion away, and Seoul would appear in its sharp, relentless detail.
He’d just become a full adult, and he already felt ancient. There were days he looked in the mirror and thought the only difference between him and his father was that Kai’s face was younger, less creased.
It had all seemed so alive, once. Before he’d joined Bighit, before he’d worn through five pairs of sneakers and nine vocal instructors and every ounce of naive expectation, the world had radiated possibility. The posters on his bedroom wall had shimmered with promise. Now, the only posters that stared back at him were the ones printed by the company—motivational slogans in block letters and grayscale.
“Drive,” one poster read, above a picture of a sprinter launching off the blocks. “Discipline,” said another, just above the urinals in the men’s restroom, so every time you pissed you remembered to clench your mind as tightly as your bladder.
Kai’s parents had always emphasized structure. His father, a retired concert pianist, had conducted family life with the same precision he once brought to Chopin. Dinner at six sharp. Practice until your fingers ached. No wasted notes, no wasted time. His parents had meant to shield him from chaos, but they'd only primed him for Bighit—where that same rigid structure now towered above him like a concrete wall, blocking out the sun.
After a while, Kai stopped thinking of himself as a person and started thinking of himself as a project.
This morning, he had woken up at exactly 5:30 AM, just as his alarm began its first cycle. The beds in the dormitory creaked in harmony; the other boys rose with the same practiced exhaustion, like corpses on a time-release.
In the kitchen, Beomgyu attempted a joke about the eggs being “industrial grade,” but the others were too busy counting calories or reading their schedules to laugh. Kai envied Beomgyu’s stubborn streak, his refusal to give up on laughter entirely.
Breakfast was a blur of protein shakes and measured oats. They had twenty minutes to eat, ten minutes to brush teeth and change, then the van would take them to the practice building where the real day began.
He watched the city slide by through the van window. From a distance, it looked almost soft, the buildings stacked like blocks in a child’s playset. But up close, everything was rigid, purposeful, stripped of ornament. Even the clouds seemed to pass by on a schedule.
At the building, Kai went straight to the practice room, a fluorescent-lit box that reeked of sweat and floor polish. He took his spot in front of the mirror and flexed his fingers, a pianist’s habit he’d never managed to drop, and waited for the others. They were always a minute or two late—on purpose, he suspected, as a small rebellion. Kai couldn’t bring himself to waste that minute. He stood there, back straight, eyes on his own reflection, and tried to see if any emotion remained.
Some days, he’d catch a flicker of the old joy—the one that made him dance in the kitchen at age ten, spinning on socked feet until the world blurred. More often, what stared back at him was a blank mask. A good mask, he supposed. He could smile on cue. He could fake enthusiasm when the cameras rolled. He could answer every staff question with a polite nod and a “Yes, sir.”
But at night, when the lights were off and the dormitory was silent, the mask slipped. He would lie in bed and listen to the city’s distant hum, thinking about all the things he’d traded for this shot at stardom: the comfort of his home, the freedom of weekends, the soft laughter of his little sister at the dinner table. He wondered if she missed him, or if he was already a stranger.
The staff at Bighit called it “the grind.” It was meant to sound noble, like forging steel. But the grind was also what happened to stones until they turned to dust.
Sometimes he caught glimpses of other trainees through the glass doors of their own practice rooms, hunched over, battered, their eyes ringed with exhaustion but burning with a desperate light. It reminded him of stray cats, fighting over scraps in the alley behind his childhood apartment. He pitied them, but he also envied their hunger.
Kai’s hunger was different. It was quieter, almost anesthetized. He wanted to debut, of course—everyone did—but he wanted it in the way a drowning man wants air: not because it would bring joy, but because the alternative was unthinkable.
The instructors arrived at precisely 8:00, and the day began in earnest. Warmups, then choreography, then vocal drills, then more choreography, then a break for lunch (fifteen minutes, if you finished your routine early), then more vocal, more dance, more everything. By the time they staggered back to the dormitory at 10:00 PM, their bodies ached and their minds felt scrubbed raw.
After dinner, Yeonjun would sometimes suggest a movie, or a quick game of cards, but most nights everyone just collapsed into their beds, silent and unmoving until morning reset the cycle.
Kai brushed his teeth and stared into the cracked bathroom mirror. He noticed that his hands were shaking, just a little. He tried to will them still, but the tremor persisted.
He remembered reading somewhere that sharks have to keep swimming or they’ll die. He wondered if that was true for people, too.
He rinsed his mouth, wiped the mirror clean, and wondered how long it would take for the color to drain out of him entirely. If it happened slowly, maybe he wouldn’t even notice.
He went to bed, closed his eyes, and counted the hours until it would start all over again.
The company conference room was cold, the kind of cold that leached up through the bones and into the marrow. Yeonjun, whose blood ran warm enough for all of them, tried to charm the iciness away by drumming his fingers on the gleaming table, but every tap landed with a hollow, empty echo.
“Did they really have to make this place look like a funeral home?” Beomgyu muttered, glancing up at the drop ceiling with its grid of sad, humming fluorescents.
Soobin, who’d been appointed group leader in a meeting none of them even remembered, just said, “Shh,” but he looked grateful for the distraction. The whiteboard at the head of the room was still blank. The manager’s chair sat empty. In the long minute before someone important would walk in, the five of them fidgeted in their chairs like children waiting outside the principal’s office.
Kai felt a prickle under his skin, the kind of tingling that came before a thunderstorm. He tried to breathe through it, slow and deep. The sleeves of his shirt were a little too short; he pulled at the cuffs, wishing he was wearing his hoodie instead.
Yeonjun caught his eye, grinned, and wiggled his eyebrows. It was meant to reassure, but Kai just felt exposed, as if every one of his nerves was raw and visible.
The door opened. The manager—Mr. Shim, the one with the permanent phone crease in his cheek—strode in with three assistants in tow, each carrying a stack of folders. The smell of coffee and aftershave followed them like a warning flare.
“Congratulations, boys,” Mr. Shim said, without preamble or smile. “You’re going to debut.”
The air in the room shifted. Kai expected a cheer, maybe even a fist-pump, but the other four were silent for a second, as if they didn’t believe it. Then Yeonjun let out a whoop and slapped the table so hard his palm turned red. Beomgyu grinned, wide and unguarded. Soobin’s eyes went round; even Taehyun, who was almost pathologically calm, let his mouth twist into something that might have been a smile.
Kai just sat there, hands folded, waiting for the shoe to drop.
There was a presentation, of course—timelines, promo shots, debut schedules, the usual parade of logistics that made the dream feel less like a miracle and more like a business plan. The assistants passed out folders: inside were headshots, meal plans, interview scripts. Kai’s photo was centered on the page, every flaw retouched into oblivion.
“Soobin, you’ll be the leader as planned,” Mr. Shim said, ticking off the list. “Yeonjun, main dancer and rapper. Beomgyu, visual and sub-vocal. Taehyun, main vocal. Kai, you’re the maknae and the ace. Everyone clear?”
There were nods all around. Kai stared at the word “ace,” printed in bold beneath his own name, and wondered what it meant to be the ace of a team that didn’t feel like a team yet.
After the meeting, they were herded out into the corridor. The staff had already moved on to the next crisis. The boys were left in the hallway, clutching their manila folders, not quite sure what to do with themselves.
“So this is it,” Beomgyu said, almost reverently. “We’re officially doomed.”
Yeonjun cuffed him lightly on the shoulder. “Nah, we’re officially legends, man. The internet’s gonna explode when they drop the news.”
“I just hope they let us pick our own stage names,” Taehyun said, flipping through his folder. “There’s no way I’m going out there as ‘Raymond.’”
Soobin smiled, but his face was strained. “Let’s just get through today first.”
Kai drifted to the back of the group as they shuffled down the hall. He watched their backs—broad, narrow, twitchy, perfectly upright—and felt the press of inevitability. Freedom, if he’d ever had it, was behind him now. Ahead was the relentless march of schedule, image, and obligation.
A commotion caught his attention. The practice rooms on the lower floor were alive with sound—music blaring from cheap speakers, the sharp slap of sneakers on linoleum. Through the narrow strip of glass in the door, Kai saw a cluster of new trainees in the middle of a dance drill, their faces set in fierce determination. Most of them looked no older than fourteen.
Yeonjun glanced over, then nudged Soobin. “Look at ‘em. Fresh meat.”
Beomgyu snickered. “Give them two years. They’ll be hunched over like us.”
“They’re not even out of middle school,” Soobin said, shaking his head. “God, were we ever that young?”
Kai doubted it. He looked at the trainees—mostly kids, really—moving in perfect, trembling sync. They glowed with that specific light that only comes before the world has a chance to grind you down. Wildflowers, he thought. No one tells them how quickly the season ends.
You lead the group, your short, choppy hair pulled back with a red scrunchie. You're smaller than the others but you don't seem to know it. When the instructor barks a correction, you nod once and reset, not missing a beat. Your movements are less technically perfect than the boy next to you, but they have a sharpness that draws Kai's eye. You look like you're actually having fun.
For a moment, Kai allows himself to pretend he's seeing something new—a future where nothing is inevitable, where every possibility is still on the table. Then the instructor stops the music, and all of you trainees sag a little, wipe sweat from your faces, and line up for critique. You grin at the kid behind you, like you're in on a private joke. The moment passes.
Beomgyu watched through the glass and let out a low whistle. “I heard the next girl group’s gonna be brutal. They’re making them live on soy milk and carrot sticks.”
Yeonjun snorted. “At least they get carrot sticks. I’d kill for a carrot stick right now.”
Kai pressed his forehead to the cool glass. He caught the your eye—just for a second. You didn’t flinch. If anything, you seemed to register him as another piece of furniture, something unremarkable and permanent. He found himself envious.
“So this is what we look like from the outside,” Taehyun said, quietly. “Scary.”
Soobin shrugged. “Let’s not scare them, then. Come on. We have to be in makeup in fifteen.”
The others peeled away, but Kai stayed a second longer, watching the trainees reset for another run-through. You were laughing again, this time at something the instructor said. Maybe, Kai thought, you were just wired differently. Maybe some people thrived in this environment, rooted themselves in the cracks and flourished despite everything.
But he couldn’t shake the feeling that all of you were destined to become what he saw in the mirror each morning: preserved flowers, frozen in place, beautiful but lifeless.
He turned away and followed the others to the elevator, the air already thick with the scent of stage makeup and anxiety. As the doors closed, Kai caught one last glimpse of the practice room and of you, alive with possibility.
He tried to remember what that felt like.
The company’s main building was never truly quiet, not even before dawn. The halls hummed with the soft whir of cleaning robots and the constant, metronomic tick of the security clock by the door. Kai arrived fifteen minutes early for vocal training, a habit drilled into him by years of warnings about tardiness and its spiritual equivalent, “lack of commitment.”
He’d expected to find the studio empty. Instead, he was met with the muffled sound of someone—no, several someones—singing out of sync, overlapped by the piercing falsetto of the vocal instructor. Kai paused in the corridor, caught by the urge to eavesdrop.
Inside, you and a cluster of girl trainees stood in a loose formation around the upright piano. Your instructor, Ms. Lee, was a former idol herself, legendary for her ability to break voices like twigs and rebuild them from splinters. She was mid-lecture, eyes narrowed at a trainee who’d flubbed a run.
“If you can’t even match pitch on a simple interval, how do you think you’ll survive a live performance?” Ms. Lee snapped, tapping her pen against the music stand for emphasis.
The girl in question—tall, sallow, trembling—blinked rapidly, lips quivering as she fought off tears. Kai recognized the look: the desperate hope that if you didn’t move, you wouldn’t be noticed again.
Kai scanned the rest of the group. Most looked wilted, as if the room was short on oxygen. But his eyes landed on you—you again, the one with the choppy hair and the red scrunchie—was upright, hands clasped behind your back, gaze fixed on the instructor with an intensity that bordered on confrontational.
When the drill ended, Ms. Lee dismissed the class with a flick of her wrist. “Go home, hydrate, and practice with the tracks I sent last night. Except you, Y/N. You need to stay and fix those bridge transitions.”
Kai blinked. Your name sounded familiar and foreign at the same time.
The other trainees filed out, heads ducked, careful not to catch the instructor’s eye. You stepped forward, unhurried, and waited while Ms. Lee reset the piano bench. Kai lingered just outside, unsure if it was creepier to watch or to be caught sneaking off.
You took her spot at the piano, but instead of singing immediately, you leaned in and said, “Can I ask something?”
Ms. Lee arched an eyebrow, as if surprised by the audacity. “Make it quick. There are others waiting.”
“I keep missing the high E at the end of the chorus. I know my voice isn’t built for high notes, but… is there something I can do to get closer?”
Ms. Lee didn’t even look at you. She scribbled a note on her clipboard and said, “Some voices just don’t have that range. Yours is very… ordinary. Maybe focus on rap or dance, if you want to stand out.”
Kai expected you to fold, maybe apologize and slink away. Instead, you grinned, sheepish but undeterred. “That’s fair. But I want to try anyway. Could you show me how to get closer, even if it’s impossible?”
Ms. Lee set down her pen, almost amused. “Fine. Sit straight, pull from your diaphragm, and don’t force it. You’ll crack if you push.”
You did as instructed, ran the chorus twice, your voice straining but never collapsing. On the third attempt, you hit the high note, not perfectly, but enough to turn Ms. Lee’s head.
“There. That’s as good as you’ll get,” the instructor said. “But remember, some people are just not meant to be vocalists.”
“Thank you,” you said, and bowed—a full, respectful ninety degrees, then spun on your heel and walked out.
As you passed Kai in the hall, you didn’t seem startled to see him standing there. His eyes widen slightly when they meet yours. You offer him a nod and a small smile, the kind you'd give a fellow soldier in the trenches. "Morning," you say, keeping your voice casual despite the flutter in your chest.
He echoes the word back to you, barely audible, and you continue down the hall, leaving behind a silence that feels somehow lighter than before.
Inside, Ms. Lee cleared her throat and waved Kai in. “Let’s see if the next ace has learned his new parts.”
As Kai entered the studio, he felt lighter. The memory of your grin—the way you took the word “impossible” and folded it into your pocket—lingered long after the first scale.
The last week before debut was a boot camp, a crucible, and a televised spectacle all at once. Every hour was scheduled to the minute—vocal run-throughs, costume fittings, choreography until the sweat soaked through three shirts in a row. The pressure cooker atmosphere made even trivial arguments feel like wars for survival.
By 11 PM, the five of them had finished the final run-through of the day, and Yeonjun was the first to hit the floor, arms splayed like he was trying to make a snow angel out of rubberized gym mat.
“Someone kill me now,” he groaned. “End my suffering.”
Soobin, always responsible, was already cross-checking tomorrow’s rehearsal notes against the group calendar on his phone. “If you don’t shower before bed, the managers will know,” he intoned, monotone. “And then they’ll shower you themselves, with scalding hot shame.”
Beomgyu, propped up against the wall, said, “Not before I eat something. If I don’t get real food soon, I’ll eat Yeonjun. There’s gotta be some protein in there.”
Kai laughed, the sound foreign even to himself, and excused himself for a bathroom break. He relished the excuse to step outside, away from the stifling heat and the fugue of body odor and overused deodorant.
The corridor was deserted except for a cleaning robot humming quietly along the baseboards. Kai ducked into the restroom, splashed water on his face, and lingered at the sink, letting the coolness soak in. He checked his phone out of habit, but there were no messages—just the blinking reminder to get at least six hours of sleep before call time.
He made his way back, but as he rounded the corner by the vending machines, he heard a rustle—a quick, furtive sound, like a squirrel in the garbage. He turned and saw a shadow dart into the cafeteria.
The company rules were explicit: no food outside scheduled meal times, especially not for trainees on the official weight management plan. Kai hesitated, then curiosity (and, if he was honest, a sense of obligation) nudged him after the shadow.
He pushed open the cafeteria door as quietly as possible. The overheads were dimmed for the night, but the snack counter at the far end was brightly lit, casting stark shadows across the tables. There, perched like a burglar on the edge of the counter, was you. You had a single rice ball in your hand, another stashed behind your back, and you were eyeing the ceiling as if expecting a sniper to take you out at any moment.
Kai coughed—not to startle, but to announce himself in the least-threatening way possible.
You froze mid-bite, squinting at him through the gloom, then grinned like you’d just been caught by a substitute teacher you liked. “Oh. It’s you.”
He couldn’t think of a non-awkward way to respond, so he just said, “You know you’re not supposed to be here.”
You hopped down, surprisingly graceful for someone with a mouthful of rice. “Neither are you, I bet.” You held up the rice ball as if in evidence. “Want some?”
Kai hesitated, glancing at the clock above the counter. “We have practice again at seven. If the manager finds out—”
“They’ll what? Bench you?” You laughed softly, then offered him the spare rice ball. “Come on. You look like you need this more than I do.”
He accepted the food, more out of politeness than hunger, and took a cautious bite. It was cold, the seaweed slightly soggy, but the salt hit his tongue and made him realize he hadn’t eaten anything substantial since lunchtime.
You sat on the edge of a table and kicked your feet, like a child in a waiting room. “They’ve got us on this new diet. Basically, if it tastes good, we can’t have it. You know, for the ‘concept’ or whatever.”
“I thought you guys were allowed to eat after evening practice,” Kai said, licking a stray grain of rice from his thumb.
“That’s what they tell the parents.” You smirked. “But the reality is, we’re supposed to be ‘hungry for success.’” You mimed air quotes with sticky fingers.
Kai chuckled despite himself. “You don’t seem very hungry for success right now.”
“Oh, I am. I just don’t think success has to mean being miserable all the time.” You chewed thoughtfully, then added, “Sometimes you have to break a rule to remember what it feels like to be a person.”
He thought about that for a second. Kai had always been the rule-follower, the straight man in a sea of rebels. Even among TXT, he was the one who double-checked the lock on the dorm door, the one who arrived earliest for every rehearsal, who actually read the staff memos. He wondered if he’d been missing something all this time.
“Do you ever worry about getting caught?” he asked.
You shrugged. “Honestly? Yeah. But the way I see it, you only get in real trouble if you make a habit out of it. If it’s just once in a while, it’s almost like… an experiment. Testing the boundaries. Seeing where you end and the company begins.”
That sounded dangerously close to philosophy, and for a moment Kai wasn’t sure how to respond. He watched you pick at the rice ball, your hands moving in quick, economical motions.
“So, what’s it like?” you said suddenly, changing the subject. “Debuting, I mean. Being on the other side.”
He blinked. “I don’t know yet. I guess… it feels like standing at the edge of a really high cliff. Everyone’s telling you to jump, and you have to pretend you’re excited about it even if you’re terrified.”
You nodded, as if this confirmed something you’d suspected. “I hope I get to try it someday. Even if I splatter at the bottom.”
Kai laughed, louder this time. The sound echoed in the empty cafeteria.
You grinned, pleased with yourself. “See? It’s not so bad being a little bit of a hypocrite. The rules are important, but so is knowing when to ignore them.”
You finished your rice ball, then hopped off the table. “Thanks for not ratting me out,” you said. “And congrats on your debut. I mean it.”
He nodded, suddenly shy. “Thanks.”
They stood in awkward silence for a second, then you raised a hand in a casual wave and slipped out the side door, leaving only the faint scent of seaweed and mischief in your wake.
Kai finished his rice ball, tossed the wrapper in the trash, and made his way back to the practice room.
When he walked in, Beomgyu was sprawled across two chairs, half-asleep. Yeonjun immediately pounced: “What took you so long? Did you fall in?”
Soobin gave him a sidelong glance. “You’re smiling. Did you meet someone?”
Kai shook his head, but the smile lingered anyway. “Just hungry,” he said. “You know how it is.”
Beomgyu cracked one eye open and muttered, “If you’re hiding snacks, you better share.”
Kai just laughed and sat down, the rule-breaker’s rice ball still warm in his stomach.
For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t counting down the minutes to morning.
The world outside the Bighit building had faded to a series of blurred snapshots—airport terminals, hotel lobbies, rehearsal spaces all blending into a single, endless corridor. Since debut, TXT’s lives were lived in fast-forward, each day collapsing into the next with barely enough time to register what was happening before it was already old news.
Kai had grown used to the rhythm: wake up before dawn, get herded through hair and makeup, rehearse until his legs went numb, then collapse into bed and dream of nothing at all.
But some things still broke through the haze. The cafeteria, for instance, had become a sanctuary of sorts—a place where, for twenty unsupervised minutes, he could sit with the others and pretend they were just kids at a school lunch table.
It was during one of these rare windows that Kai saw you again. You were at a table three rows over, surrounded by other girl trainees. You looked different: your hair was longer, your outfits sharper, and there was a confidence to the way you held yourself—like you’d figured out how to live at the center of the hurricane instead of getting blown off course.
You were laughing at something, head thrown back, eyes crinkled at the corners. The memory of your old, defiant grin flashed in Kai’s mind, but this was something new—brighter, maybe. More dangerous.
Yeonjun caught him staring. “She’s a bit much, isn’t she?” he said, nudging Kai with his elbow.
Kai shrugged. “Just seems like she’s… thriving.”
Beomgyu snorted. “Give it time. They’ll grind it out of her, just like they did the rest of us.”
“No, I think she’s different,” Soobin said, glancing over the rim of his milk carton. “She looks stubborn.”
Taehyun, who’d been listening in silence, finally spoke up. “I heard she’s on the shortlist for the new girl group. Management is watching her.”
Yeonjun leaned in, voice lowered to a stage whisper. “Apparently, they’re putting together a monster lineup. Visuals, vocals, dance—the works. She’s in the list.”
Kai felt a jolt of pride, irrational and out of place. He watched as you caught his eye and waved, quick and conspiratorial. He lifted a hand in response, careful not to overplay it in front of the others.
Yeonjun noticed anyway. “Oho. The maknae’s got a fan.”
Kai rolled his eyes, but the warmth lingered. “She’s just saying hi.”
“Is that what the kids are calling it now?” Beomgyu said, grinning.
Soobin shook his head, but the corners of his mouth twitched. “Don’t let the staff catch you fraternizing. They’ll write you up for corrupting the next generation.”
Kai opened his mouth to protest, but Taehyun cut him off with a lazy wave of his spoon. “Let him live. It’s the only normal thing he’s got left.”
The banter died down as the meal ended. The cafeteria emptied out, but you and your friends lingered at your table, heads bent over a shared phone screen. Kai watched you out of the corner of his eye, wondering if you were as invincible as you looked, or if you were just better at hiding the cracks.
As the boys filed out and headed for their next obligation, Kai's neck craned back one final time, his pulse quickening. Your laughter cut through the cafeteria noise like a spotlight beam in darkness.
It's been a couple of months since TXT's debut and the next album was already in the works. The recording session ran late, as they always did when the producers sensed momentum. By the time Kai was dismissed, the building was almost empty, save for the night janitors and a couple of dance instructors reviewing choreography on their phones.
He was about to head for the elevator when he heard it: a thin, reedy note drifting from one of the smaller rehearsal rooms. It wobbled, cracked, then dissolved into a cough.
Kai paused, curiosity piqued. The sound repeated, this time steadier, but still straining at the upper edge of the scale. He followed it to the door, which was propped open with a scuffed sneaker.
Inside, you stood by the upright piano, your phone balanced on the music stand. You were watching a YouTube tutorial—something about “Effortless High Notes for Beginners”—and trying to match the instructor’s pitch, with limited success. Your sweatshirt was several sizes too big, sleeves bunched around your fists, hair pulled back in a messy bun.
Kai watched for a minute, half-amused, half-impressed by your refusal to give up. You replayed the same five-second clip three times in a row, each attempt marginally better than the last. On the fourth try, you finally nailed it, and punched the air in triumph.
He knocked gently on the doorframe. “You’re going to wake up the whole building.”
You spun, startled, then relaxed when you saw him. “Oh, it’s just you.”
He stepped inside, hands in his pockets. “You practicing for a recital?”
You made a face. “Hardly. They’re talking about putting me in the new group, but apparently I sound ‘too plain’ for the concept.”
Kai frowned. “What does that even mean?”
You shrugged, scrolling to the next tutorial. “I pass the visual and dance check, but I guess they want all the girls to be vocal powerhouses, or at least sound like it. I’m just… average. So I’m trying to be less average.”
He looked at you, really looked, and saw the fatigue around your eyes, the frustration in your shoulders. But also the spark of determination—the same one that had caught his attention months ago.
“Can I help?” he offered, almost shyly.
You blinked, surprised, then nodded. “You’re the ace, right? Teach me your ways.”
He laughed, but there was a flush of pride in it. “Okay. Let’s start with breath support.”
They spent the next twenty minutes running through scales and tricky intervals. Kai demonstrated, you mimicked, sometimes nailing it, sometimes collapsing into giggles when your voice cracked. He showed you how to relax your jaw, how to find the right posture, how to ride the note instead of forcing it.
At one point, you stopped and said, “How do you do it? Not just the singing, but… all of this. The pressure.”
He thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I guess I just pretend it’s not happening, until it is.”
You grinned, then sang the next scale with a little more confidence. “I’ll try that.”
By the end of the session, your high notes weren’t perfect, but they were better. You beamed at him, sweaty and triumphant. “Thanks, Kai. I owe you one.”
He smiled, the fatigue of the day washed away by the simple act of helping someone who cared as much as he did.
As he left the room, he glanced back and saw you running the scale again, undaunted.
For once, he allowed himself to hope that maybe, just maybe, things could work out for both of them.
Kai never understood people who claimed that “time heals everything.” In his experience, time just stretched the same ache thinner and thinner, like butter on too much bread. But you had a different theory, one you’d explained to him during a post-practice cooldown as you passed a vending machine in the lobby.
“If you don’t at least try, you’ll spend your whole life haunted by what-ifs,” you’d said, peeling the label off your bottled water in long, patient strips. “So even if you fail, at least you get a cool story out of it.”
At the time, Kai had laughed. Now, months later, he found himself replaying the conversation in his head, especially on nights like this—nights when exhaustion made his mind wander in strange, sentimental directions.
Huening Kai was sprawled on the dorm room floor, headphones blasting a rough mix of their latest single, when his phone buzzed. He checked the screen: an unfamiliar number, but the message was signed “Y/N.”
hey. wanna go on a secret mission?
He hesitated, then texted back.
now?
now, now. meet me by the side entrance. bring a jacket.
He pulled on the only clean hoodie he could find, tiptoed past Beomgyu’s snoring form, and slipped out the side door. You were already there, hands jammed in your pockets, hair still wet from a late shower.
“You came,” you said, like you’d won a bet.
“I thought you got a new phone,” Kai said, voice low.
“I did. My old one kept getting confiscated.” You flashed him a grin. “Come on. We have to hurry.”
They walked in silence for a few blocks, the city lights reflecting off wet pavement. Kai’s heart beat a little faster—not from the cold, but from the illicit thrill of sneaking out past curfew. You ducked into a narrow alley, climbed a flight of stairs, and emerged on the rooftop of a 24-hour convenience store.
The air was crisp and clean, a rarity in Seoul. You gestured to a row of vending machines at the edge of the roof. “Pick your poison,” you said. “Tonight, we feast.”
They bought instant noodles, melon bread, two cans of fizzy grape soda, and set up camp on a concrete ledge overlooking the street. You tore open your noodles and blew on them, steam curling around your face.
“Why the rooftop?” Kai asked, after a few bites.
You swung your legs over the edge, fearless. “It’s the only place you can see the stars without the city drowning them out.”
He looked up, skeptical. The sky was mostly orange haze, but a few stubborn pinpricks of light poked through.
“See? They’re still there,” you said. “Just takes effort to notice.”
They ate in companionable silence, punctuated by the occasional slurp or laugh. Kai found himself telling you about his childhood—how he used to hate practice, how his dad made him play piano until his hands cramped, how he’d never imagined ending up here, on a roof at midnight, talking to someone who understood.
You listened, really listened, and then told your own stories—most of them ridiculous, all of them true. You described your first audition, the time you tripped onstage and face-planted in front of a casting director, the summer you dyed your hair green and your mom nearly fainted.
“Was it worth it?” Kai asked, genuinely curious.
You shrugged. “Even the disasters make good memories. At least they’re mine.”
He thought about that, about the way every mistake in his life had felt like an open wound, something to hide and regret. Maybe he’d been doing it wrong this whole time.
After devouring your snacks, you crumpled the wrappers with a satisfying crackle and tossed them into a plastic bag. The night air was crisp and fresh, making Kai feel buoyant, as though he'd shed an invisible weight.
As you stood up, you shot him a playful look from the corner of your eye. "You're more fun than I gave you credit for," you teased. "Maybe you should bend the rules more often."
Kai responded with a wide grin. "I just might take that advice."
You ambled back leisurely under a sky sprinkled with stars, each sharing glances and laughter that made the path seem shorter. When you reached the dorms, you waved goodbye, your silhouette soon swallowed by the shadows in the hallway, while your laughter lingered like a sweet melody in his mind.
Inside, Taehyun was waiting up, reading a paperback in bed. He didn’t look up when Kai entered, but after a minute he said, “You look happy.”
Kai paused, surprised. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
Taehyun turned a page and smiled, just a little. “Good. You deserve it.”
Kai lay down, pulled the covers over his head, and listened to the quiet hum of the city outside.
For the first time in years, he went to bed and looked forward to tomorrow's schedules.
The weeks blurred together. Kai floated through them on a current of rehearsals and photoshoots, but something had shifted. He noticed the light through the dorm window in the mornings; he found himself humming your favorite songs under his breath. Even his nightmares—of missing steps, of letting everyone down—had faded to background noise.
He saw you often, sometimes just in passing, sometimes in shared moments at the vending machines or in the lobby. Each encounter was a small, private holiday. You’d started carrying a beat-up notebook everywhere, scribbling lyrics or random thoughts between practice blocks. Sometimes you’d show him, and he’d pretend not to be impressed, though he secretly admired the raw, weird honesty of your words.
One day, after a particularly brutal dance rehearsal, Kai collapsed onto a bench outside the gym and watched the sun set over the city. He thought about how much had changed since he first walked these halls—how much lighter everything felt.
He almost didn’t notice the two staffers as they walked by, deep in conversation.
“—shame, really. Y/N was so close, but the higher-ups said she didn’t have the right overall vibe for the group. Can you believe it?”
“Typical. All that work, just to get benched at the last second. She’ll be a backup dancer for the debut showcase, if she’s lucky.”
Kai felt the words like a punch to the chest. He sat up, ears ringing, and watched as the staffers disappeared down the hall. His first instinct was denial—maybe they were talking about someone else, maybe it was just a rumor—but he knew, in his gut, that it was definitely your name they mentioned.
He thought about your voice, how it had improved with every practice session. He thought about your notebook, your laughter, the nights spent talking on rooftops. The idea that none of it mattered—that someone could just erase your dream with a single meeting—filled him with a helpless, burning anger.
He pulled out his phone, thumb shaking as he scrolled to your number. He called once, twice, three times. Each time, it went straight to voicemail.
He tried texting, but the message hung in limbo, unread.
Kai stood up, paced the length of the hallway, then slumped against the wall, powerless. He replayed the last conversation you’d had—your voice telling him that even if you failed, at least you’d have tried. But this wasn’t failure; it was theft. Someone else had stolen your shot, and there was nothing he could do to give it back.
He sat there long after the sun had gone down, phone cold in his hand.
Kai spent the evening in a fog. He went through the motions—dinner, shower, a quick FaceTime with his parents—but everything felt dulled, like his senses had been wrapped in cotton. He checked his phone every five minutes, hoping for a message that never came.
It wasn’t until well past midnight that his phone finally rang. He answered before the first ring finished.
“Hey, Kai,” your voice said, impossibly casual. “Sorry I missed your calls. I was in a meeting.”
He was silent for a beat, trying to match your tone. “Are you okay?”
You laughed, a soft, real sound. “Better than I should be, probably. Did you hear the news?”
He swallowed. “Yeah. I… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you said. “It’s not like I got hit by a truck. I just have to wait a little longer, that’s all.”
He couldn’t help it—the tears started before he realized. His voice came out thick. “It’s not fair.”
You paused, then said gently, “You’re crying for me, aren’t you?”
He wiped his eyes, embarrassed. “I just… I wanted to see you on stage. You worked so hard.”
Your voice softened. “I know. But this isn’t the end, Kai. Actually, I have some news.”
He blinked, surprised by the shift in your energy. “What is it?”
You took a breath, then said, “I got tapped for a survival show. Dream Academy. They want me to compete for a spot in a new global group.”
He stared at the ceiling, letting the words sink in. “Is that… good?”
You laughed again, a little brighter this time. “It’s amazing. It’s a long shot, but you know me—I love a good challenge.”
He tried to imagine you on one of those shows, cameras in your face, producers scheming behind the scenes. It was brutal, but so was everything worth having in this industry.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, voice small.
“I’m sure,” you said. “And hey—now you get to root for me all over again. You like being a fan, right?”
He smiled, despite everything. “Yeah. I really do.”
There was a comfortable silence on the line. He listened to your breathing, steady and unbroken.
“Get some sleep, Kai,” you said. “You have a busy day tomorrow.”
He nodded, forgetting you couldn’t see. “You too.”
They hung up, and he lay there, eyes wet but heart lighter than it had been in days.
If you could keep moving forward, then so could he.
The news traveled fast: you had a new shot, and you were taking it. In the weeks before your departure, you threw yourself into training harder than ever—vocal lessons, dance drills, even late-night language classes in a cramped side office. The company used you as a backup dancer for LE SSERAFIM's showcase performances, pairing you with the group you’d once hoped to join.
Kai caught glimpses of you on stage, always in the background, always moving just a little sharper than the rest. He wondered how you managed to stay so bright, even when your name was never in the program. Sometimes, when the lights hit just right, he swore you outshone everyone—if only for a second.
Still, you and Kai found time to meet up—quick lunches, secret walks around the company, a few reckless karaoke sessions in the trainee lounge. The closer your departure date came, the more these moments felt like memories being pressed into glass, precious and fragile, already halfway to nostalgia.
One night, after a long dance rehearsal, you found Kai waiting for you on the roof. The city glowed below, neon and distant, and the air was cool enough to sting.
“Thought you’d be sleeping,” you said, dropping beside him, a tired smile tugging at your lips.
“I couldn’t,” he replied quietly. “Too much on my mind. Mostly you, actually.”
You laughed—soft, a little nervous. “Yeah? Hope it’s good stuff.”
He hesitated, chewing his bottom lip before answering. “Mostly. It’s just… weird. I’m going to miss you, you know?”
You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you leaned back, arms behind you, and looked up at the sky. “It’s weird,” you said after a while, voice barely above a whisper. “I thought I’d be scared to leave. But I’m just… ready. Or maybe I’m scared and ready at the same time.”
Kai nodded, even though part of him wanted you to stay right here, in this moment. “You’ll do great. I know it,” he said, voice thick with everything he wouldn’t say outright.
You bumped your shoulder gently against his. “You better watch all the episodes. If you don’t vote for me, I’ll haunt you forever.” Your words tried to be light, but your eyes searched his face a little too long.
He managed a laugh, but it caught in his throat. “Promise. I’ll be your number one fan, whether you want me to or not,” he said, hoping you heard everything beneath the words.
Silence settled between you, gentle and heavy. He wanted to say more—to ask you to stay, or to confess how much he’d come to rely on your laughter, your stubborn light—but the moment wasn’t made for confessions. You both just let the city noise fill the spaces in your hearts.
When it was finally time to head back, you stood and looked at him, the city’s neon flickering in your eyes.
“Thanks for believing in me,” you said, voice trembling just slightly.
He swallowed, wanting to say so many things—how proud he was, how much you meant to him, how he’d be counting the days till he saw you again. But all that came out was, “Of course. Always.”
You smiled, that same wildflower grin he’d first fallen for months ago. “See you on TV, Kai. Don’t forget me, okay?”
He shook his head, a little too quickly. “Not a chance. Try not to forget me, either.”
For a moment, it felt like it could tip into something more—a word, a touch, a confession—but you just squeezed his hand, quick and fierce, before turning away, your shadow stretching out behind you as you disappeared down the stairs.
He watched until you were gone, heart aching and full, then stayed on the roof until the sun came up, just to see if any stars had survived the night.
Dream Academy was another universe—a relentless, glittering contest where the cameras never blinked and every emotion was weaponized for drama. As soon as you landed in the States, you vanished behind a wall of NDAs and brutal rehearsal schedules. The calls and texts slowed, then stopped, and Kai felt the loss like a phantom limb—an ache that surfaced at odd hours, like the echo of a song he couldn’t quite remember.
He followed every episode obsessively. Each week, he watched you navigate alliances, survive elimination rounds, and perform in front of judges who looked for any excuse to cut you down. The time difference made it hard, but Kai stayed up for every livestream, sometimes with the other members, sometimes alone in the dark with only the glow of his phone for company, heart pounding every time your face appeared on screen.
He voted for you at every opportunity, even recruited his members to spam the official hashtags on their dummy accounts. They made a game of it, trading jokes and teasing him for his devotion, but for Kai, it was deadly serious. Every vote, every comment, felt like a message he couldn’t send any other way: I’m still here. I still believe in you.
He saw you change on screen—more polished, more confident, but never losing the edge that made you unique. Even the fans noticed: comments poured in about “the trainee with the real smile,” about how you seemed to make every team stronger just by showing up. Kai caught himself whispering encouragement at the screen, as if you could hear him from half a world away.
The farther you got, the more nervous Kai became. He hated the manipulative editing, the way the show manufactured rivalries and clipped soundbites to make you look like something you weren’t. But you survived each round, and when you made the finals, Kai felt a dizzy, electric hope that threatened to swallow him whole.
He watched the finale alone, hands clenched around his phone. The voting dragged on forever, the tension stretched past breaking. When they finally announced your name—seventh member of Katseye—he shouted so loud he woke the entire dorm.
Beomgyu stumbled into the room, hair wild, eyes half-closed. “Did she win?”
Kai nodded, grinning like an idiot, his throat raw from cheering.
Taehyun clapped him on the back. “Told you she’d make it.”
Kai didn’t sleep that night. He rewatched the announcement over and over, memorizing the look on your face when you realized you’d won. It was the same wild, unstoppable joy he’d seen on a cold night in a deserted cafeteria, months and lifetimes ago. For a moment, he imagined what he would say if he could call you now. I’m so proud of you. You did it. You really did it.
He wanted to text you, to call, to send a hundred messages all at once. He even started typing—You did it, star. I knew you would—but deleted it again. He knew you’d be swept up in press interviews, contract signings, the wild machinery of a brand-new idol group. He could only hope you felt, somehow, that he was celebrating with you.
Instead, he just sat in the quiet and let himself feel it all—the pride, the relief, the ache of missing you, and the unshakable certainty that this was only the beginning.
The American radio station was on the far edge of downtown, wedged between a vape shop and an after-hours donut place. Katseye had been shuttled over after a showcase, your glitter still clinging to the seats of the black van. You were all punchy with exhaustion, but the promise of a late-night sugar rush kept the mood lively. You sat between Sophia and Yoonchae, headphones slightly askew, a paper cup of coffee balanced on your knee.
The radio host—an excitable guy in a vintage baseball cap—was hyping up the “first-ever live call-in segment with the next generation of K-pop queens.” He winked at you from behind the glass, then counted you in with a dramatic flourish.
“Alright, we’re here with Katseye, the hottest girl group in the world right now!” he crowed. “Let’s take our first call. Who’s on the line?”
The board lit up. “Uh, hi, this is ‘Kevin’ from Seoul?” The voice was too familiar, the hesitation too practiced, even if he was speaking in English. You nearly choked on your coffee, eyes darting to the glass, senses suddenly sharp.
The host grinned. “Hey, Kevin from Seoul! Are you a big Katseye fan?”
There was a pause, then he continued with: “I guess you could say I’m the biggest. Especially of the one with the weirdest laugh.”
The other girls broke into giggles as they eyed you. Heat crawled up your cheeks, but you managed to play it cool.
“Hi, Kevin,” you said into the mic with your polished English, hoping your voice didn’t give you away, heart thumping so loud you wondered if it would bleed through the airwaves. “Who’s your favorite member?”
He didn’t miss a beat. “The one who likes rooftop ramen and has terrible taste in vending-machine snacks.”
The host was eating it up. “Is this an inside joke? It sounds like an inside joke.”
Megan leaned in, eyes bright. “Y/N, do you know this guy?”
You tried to keep a straight face. “I might. Or he could just be stalking my convenience-store runs.” Lara nudged you with an elbow. “I think he’s cute. He sounds cute.”
On the other end, “Kevin” cleared his throat. “Actually, I was just calling to say congratulations. You worked really hard, and you deserve all of this. Even if you have to eat more salads now.”
The table erupted in laughter. You bit your lip, feeling the corners of your mouth twitch up. For a moment, the ache in your chest softened—the world didn’t feel quite so far from home.
“And one more thing,” he said in Korean, voice suddenly softer. “If you ever get homesick, just look at the stars. There’s at least one idiot on the other side of the world rooting for you.”
For a heartbeat, words failed you. You leaned into the mic, voice steady but full of everything you wished you could say: “Thanks, Kevin. I’ll remember that.”
The next caller was a fan from Atlanta; the segment rolled on, the jokes and questions blurring together in a haze of adrenaline and jet lag. But you felt anchored, a little less adrift, the knot in your chest replaced by something lighter—like someone had reached through the screen and steadied you.
After the show, as the girls loaded into the van, Manon whispered, “Was that your boyfriend?”
You grinned, rolling your eyes. “He wishes.”
They all shrieked and shoved you, the laughter bouncing off the windows and into the bright, endless city.
Later, alone in your hotel room, you stood at the window and looked up at the sky. Even in this alien place, a few stubborn stars shone through the haze. You pulled out your phone, snapped a picture, and sent it to a familiar number.
miss you too, dummy.
A reply came almost instantly:
i’ll bring the ramen next time.
You laughed—really laughed, the sound bubbling up from somewhere deep, somewhere only Kai seemed to reach. Tears stung your eyes, but they were happy ones. You pressed your forehead to the glass and whispered into the emptiness, “I wish you were here, just for a minute.”
Then you closed your eyes and let the memory of his laugh fill the room: the way he slurped noodles on a rooftop under flickering lights, how he teased you about your midnight snack habits. In that moment, the miles between you felt smaller, as if he were right beside you, sharing that quiet, star-speckled sky.
Somewhere, a whole world away, Huening Kai sat with his phone pressed to his chest, your laughter echoing in his mind and brightening the darkness around him. He closed his eyes and pictured you beneath those same indifferent stars—your stage glitter gone, hair loose around your shoulders, soft and real. He let himself believe, just for tonight, that you were looking back, feeling as close as you ever had.
➳ The stars will always shine, even if it can never shine brighter than the moon.
↳ Pairing: Hueningkai x Reader
↳ word count: 4.4k
↳ genre: fluff, like a tinee bit of angst, messy bc i was writing this with no idea of what plot to do also i think the ending is rushed but i still went past 12kst so what use was that rush sakjsjka, Hogwarts AU with a babie hufflepuff kai!
↳a/n: Belated happy birthday hueningie. Ningningdungies enjoy this half-baked Hufflepuff Kai fic
It was a cloudy day, perfect for students as they walked around aimlessly at the grounds before the anticipated quidditch match between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff started.
Hueningkai, the Hufflepuff seeker, should have been making his way down to the Quidditch Pitch.
That’s why Y/N was so confused why they chose to be up in the owlery—laughing maniacally at her in amusement.
inspiration: You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift
pairing: non-idol!Kai x fem!reader
genre: childhood friends to lovers
wc: 5k
summary: Watching Kai date the school's most popular cheerleader you realise your feelings for him and where he should belong.
a/n: hiiii, I love Taylor Swift a lot and this song is sooo cute so I wrote this based on the song lyrics. Hope you enjoy!
You had known Kai all your life, his family lived in the same street as yours. You had spent many summers playing in the Huening garden with his sisters, Lea and Hiyyih. Having no siblings of your own you enjoyed that they were close by making it feel like they were your sisters. Kai joined in sometimes but he was usually practicing his guitar or playing video games so you didn’t see him as much as the girls.
School season has started again. This year though Lea wasn't around, she graduated last year and Hiyyih hadn't entered High School yet. Your school friends lived in different neighbourhoods so you always walked to school with whichever Huenings were going to the same school. This year it is only you and Kai. You have never spent this much time alone with him before and for a good reason too. Since you became teenagers, seeing him makes your cheeks flush and hearing his voice makes your stomach spin, so you decided to keep your distance. You like their family too much to lose them so you decided to not think too hard about whatever those strange feelings are.
This year you had taken on some new roles at school, you liked to stay busy. This meant though that you had walked early so you hadn’t seen Kai this morning. The first day was finally over, what a relief. You were super tired and dreamed of getting into your cosy bed after a hot shower. Saying goodbye to your friends you walk down the steps to see Kai waiting at the tree. He remembered to wait for you. This tree was the meeting spot everyday so you, Lea and Kai could walk home together. You missed Lea already but remembered that it will only be a year until Hiyyih is waiting at that tree too. You can totally survive one year walking to school with just Kai… right?
As you approach him, you notice he is on a call. He spots you, sending you a small wave and smile before speaking into the phone. Intaking a large breath, you mentally prepare yourself to be close to him. Being away with your family on vacation for most of the summer meant you hadn’t seen Kai up until now. He had grown his hair out, grew taller and you had heard around school that he had joined a band too. Seems like he had a good summer. You fell in step beside him. Who is he talking to? Maybe a new band mate. He isn’t saying many words, only mumbling a “yeah” every so often and sighing.
"Sorry about that," he looks at you apologetically as he puts his phone into his back pocket, "can't get a word in with her" he smiles to show he is joking but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Oh, it’s okay, don't worry. Who was it?" you ask, curious to know who had irritated him.
He shrugs, "ah, it’s just my girlfriend, she’s slightly mad at a joke I made this morning."
Your brain short circuits for a second. He's now staring at the concrete while you walk, not noticing your huge eyes staring at him. A girlfriend? Since when? Why did you not know about this? Nothing was said at school today, how did no-one mention this to you?
Taking the next right turn you round the corner to your street. You're running out of time to find out more about this new girlfriend. Keeping your cool you ask "how long have you been dating?" You stare at the floor, not wanting to see his expressions as he talks about her. Why were you suddenly feeling queasy?
"Not long, we only started dating in the summer." Urghhh curse your family for taking you on that exploration holiday for a month. Your holiday was great and you're thankful but you had been away so long Kai had evolved and gotten himself a girlfriend. You were still the same.
Reaching your drive, you stop and turn to face him.
"I'll have to meet her sometime" you offered, giving a small smile but feeling sadness in your heart.
"Yeah sure, but I think you'll know her already, It's Mina.” You couldn't help it, your expression physically shifted. Mina... THE Mina. He is dating the most popular, beautiful girl in the school. She is the Cheer Captain. Everyone knows Mina whether you want to or not. Well, of course he was, he's sweet, handsome Kai. Everyone probably has a crush on him and anyone would be silly not to say yes.
"Ahhhhh... yeah, I know Mina," you glance towards your house to drop the eye contact. Your Mum is waiting in the window, excited to hear about your first day back at school. As you look back he is already stepping past you.
"I’ll see you in the morning?" waving at you as he reverses away, smiling like he hasn't just ruined your life without knowing.
"Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning," you confirm waving back.
He spins and walks past a few houses to his own, stepping into his house and out of your vision. Slumping down the path to your Mum you realise this year is going to feel longer than expected.
Sports class is outside today. Not being much of a fan of exercise you and your friends usually end up gossiping. You take the opportunity to sneakily ask about Kai’s new girlfriend.
“Hey, what do you guys think about Mina?” You question trying to act unbothered.
Hana scoffs, “she is little Miss Perfect, who now has everything she wants, did you hear? She is dating Kai, she is only with him because he is in that new school rock band.”
What? Is she using him? Wow, does she really only think about being the most popular?
“Yeah, the end of year football tournament final is what she builds up to all year. Her cheerleading squad gets to do a special performance and I heard this year they are going to get that new band to perform,” Sara adds on, starting to jog again when the teacher scowls at your group for standing around too long talking. You had never taken much notice of Mina before, sure you knew who she was, it is impossible to exist at school without knowing about her but you didn’t know anything else. You hoped for Kai’s sake that she was actually really nice and just enthusiastic about Cheerleading.
Keeping up pace with your friends you ask “Is she a nice person?” They glance at each other and then burst out laughing.
“Oh my gosh, you really do live under a rock” Sara says between giggles.
“Hey, I just don’t know anything about her is all… I was just curious”
“More like jealous" Hana teases, causing her and Sara to laugh again. You stop running. Huh? Jealous? You? No way. That’s not what this is.
“Why would I be jealous? I have never wanted to be on the cheer team and I definitely would not want to be Captain plus all she wears is short skirts, I would hate that” you defend shaking your head. They knew you hated sports nevermind cheerleading. You preferred to watch football with your friends and a snack on the bleachers to be a part of the crowd atmosphere.
“Not of Cheer Captain silly, of her dating Kai. You’ve liked him for forever right?” Hana tilts her head watching for your reaction while Sara just giggles again. Shocked at her boldness, your brain malfunctions at her accusation.
“What?!?! No.” You laugh dramatically. She is being ridiculous. It’s really none of your business who he dates. “He just said I could meet her soon so I was just fishing for information… that’s all.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever you say” Sara says while rolling her eyes. You three continue running. Good job your face was already red from the exercise.
It was a typical Tuesday night. You were finishing off some studying while listening to your favourite music. Mina hated this type of music, you don’t know how you knew that but you just did. The door opens so you pull your earbuds out. Expecting it to be one of your parents you say “hey, perfect timing I just finished” while spinning around in your desk chair. Your eyes lock with Kai’s. OMG! KAI! What was he doing in your room? Why didn’t your Mum tell you he was here? Why is he here? While your brain tries to catch up, he moves towards you. He kneels in front of you, taking your hands in his. Your eyes widen. What on Earth is happening?
“I broke up with her. I see now, you are the one that understands me. You have been here all along, I belong with you”. He stares at you with an expression you have never seen on his face before, all hopeful and lovey. You are actually at a loss for words. Kai lifts up, letting go and bringing his hands to your face. He leans in so close you can feel his breath. His lips are centimeters away from yours… KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
“Honey, wake up! You're going to be late for school if you don’t get up now” Mum yells through the door. You shoot up! It was just a dream. That’s all it was. It wasn’t real. Why is he in your dreams? Why did your brain choose that? Your dream production department needed a serious talking to.
Pushing the dream aside you realise you forgot to set an alarm last night because you were so tired from staying up late studying. Getting ready at breakneck speed, you flew down the stairs, gobbled some breakfast and ran out the door. Kai is waiting at the end of your drive, staring down at his phone again. He was always on it these days. You struggled to look at him this morning all thanks to your crazy dream. Looking up from his phone he let out a little chuckle “you good?”
“Yeah yeah, I’m great.” Is the awkward shyness showing on your face? Quickly you try to change your expression. You send him your best sweet smile.
“Haha okay. Just your hair is wild this morning, did you wake up late?” his eyes roam your hair. Did you forget to brush your hair? It might have slipped your mind in the rush, at least you remembered to brush your teeth. Hands diving into your bag to find your hairbrush you confess.
“I had a late night studying.” You smooth your hair out and do your best to tie it up. That will just have to do for today.
“You should leave it down, I think it looks nice like that” he begins to walk yet you're stuck in place, hand frozen putting your hairbrush back in your bag. He notices that you aren’t following, he turns and asks you “Ready for the trip?”
Today your year group is going on a school trip to a nature reserve. You had packed your bag and laid out your clothes last night which is how you were able to get ready so rapidly this morning. You opted for a T-shirt, zip hoodie and gym leggings with your sneakers to be comfortable during all the walking your teacher was inevitably going to make you do. You noticed that Kai had the same thought, wearing a hoodie, worn-out jeans and sneakers too. Jogging to catch up with him you reply “Sorry, yeah. I’m ready, let’s go.”
The bus had finally reached the nature reserve. The teachers placed the students into groups, unfortunately your friends, Hana and Sara got put into other groups. Scanning the people you will be spending the day with, you spot Kai. You make your way over to him. He tells you that his friends were put elsewhere too so you decide to survive the trip together.
The morning flew by, chatting about the wildlife around and the questions the teacher had given you to answer. It was a really nice day so far, it was sunny, you had made great progress on the school work and it was comfortable in Kai’s presence. You forgot how funny he was and how silly he could be. No offence to your friends but you think you were having a better time with Kai than you would have done if you were with them. It was time to break for lunch. You and Kai stopped by the nature reserve’s shop to grab something to eat then found a park bench to sit on.
“Thanks for being my partner,” he says to you “I’m actually learning something with you than if I had been with my friends.” The pair of you laugh knowing it was definitely true.
“Well.. you're a good listener,” you tell him thinking back to how he would take notes whenever you explained a topic to him he wasn’t sure on. Making eye contact with you he smirked “and you’re a great teacher.” You look away quickly, feeling the need to hide your face.
You two sat in silence for a while, enjoying the breeze when a group of giggling girls walked by. Glancing at them as they pass you notice it’s Mina, clip clopping around in her high heels with her hoard of friends. What an impractical shoe to wear to a nature reserve. You look at Kai expecting him to call for her but his head is down as if he is hoping they don’t see him. Once the girls are out of range you ask “Hey, Mina just passed, did you want to say hi?” He doesn’t look up.
“No, that’s alright”. Strange, he sounds sad.
“Is everything alright?”
“I’m fine,” he replies instantly. Standing up abruptly and walking over to the bin. He pauses in front of it and sighs, placing his trash inside. Was it Mina? He has been acting odd since she passed by. He walks back slowly, finding his spot next to you.
“I’m sorry… I have just been feeling confused about Mina lately. She is only nice to me when we are with her friend group which is actually how I met her in the summer.” He leans forward with his elbows on his knees, eyes glued to the floor. “My new band mates are friends with some of the girls in her group. She seemed to like me straight away which I was thrilled at because well… every guy at school fancies Mina so the fact she liked me… guess it went to my head.” Where was this coming from? You were not expecting him to be so honest with you. Maybe your friends are right, it does sound like Mina is only dating him to boost her popularity. He continues “I have only met her alone a few times. She was harsh, bossing me about. I thought I had annoyed her at first but then I realised she is only dating me because I’m in the band.” Your heart is breaking. What was he doing with a girl like that? It’s true that he hasn’t seemed truly happy this school year. You can’t remember, excluding a few occasions this morning, the last time you saw his true smile or heard his genuine loud cackly laugh.
“Kai…” you say softly to show how much you care, “you should leave her. No-one deserves to be treated like that.” He sits up, head turning towards you for the first time during this talk. He looked conflicted.
“I’m worried what she will do if I break up with her. I’ve heard from some of my friends that she has ruined guys’ school reputations before, gotten them kicked off sports teams. I can’t get dropped from the band.” His voice quivers at the end. This band really does mean a whole lot to him.
“And you can’t go on dating her forever,” you plead. Exhaling deeply he looks down again, rubbing his hands across his face and up through his hair. Your thoughts race. How is she so powerful that she can get students kicked off teams? Why did boys date her when they knew what she is capable of? Why is she so cold to not care for others, especially Kai? He is caring, funny and not to mention the most handsome man you have ever seen… you realise now looking at him, his hair blowing in the breeze, that you have always felt this way about him.
He looks over at you again, brain pondering what to do without looking away from you. The sunshine beats down, never wavering despite the tense conversation. Before anything more is said the teacher’s whistle rings out across the park. Lunch break is over. You both stand ready to continue on with your work. Between you is an unspoken understanding that this chat will stay in the safety of lunch time, for the rest of the day you both will focus on the trip instead.
The afternoon trudged along. The two of you still had a nice time yet it was overshadowed by the weighty conversation at lunch. He spoke rarely, expression showing he was contemplating what to do after confiding in you and hearing your thoughts on the matter. Nothing changed on the way back to school or the walk home either. Polite “see you tomorrow”s were said and then he was gone. You couldn’t stop thinking about how forlorn he looked. All because of Mina. You are the opposite of her, you understand him and you have been here all along not just since the summer. You know all his favourite songs, you get his humor, being with him is easy. Maybe what he has been looking for has been here the whole time.
The next few weeks move quickly. Being super focused on studying for the end of year tests, school drama passes around you. Kai has been staying after school for band practice so you only get to see him in the mornings. Ever since the nature reserve trip Kai’s demeanour has shifted. He hasn’t been his usual self this year but now even less so. Lately his hair is unruly like he has been constantly running his hands through it, he’s late every morning hurrying out the door to catch you before you walk off to school and his eyes are tired and red like he hasn’t slept properly in weeks. Is it the upcoming tests? End of year band performance pressure? Or Mina? You didn’t know and knew you couldn’t ask him, learning at a young age that Kai will tell you when he is ready. You are grateful he opened up to you on the trip and hoped he would choose you to confide in again.
Tonight you are taking a well deserved rest from studying, your retention will be better if you space it out. You parents had gone out for the evening, they invited you to come along but you politely declined, wanting some time to yourself. The pizza had been demolished and the next episode of your current hyperfixation show is starting when a loud rapid knock sounds at the front door. You jump and pause the show. It is hammering rain outside, who could it be? It is late for mail but your Mum was always ordering online so you wouldn’t be surprised if it is for her. Sliding to the door in your slippers, you unlock it and peek your head out. Your eyes widen, opening the door fully. It is Kai! He is drenched from the rain. You usher him inside. He shuffles past you, wiping his shoes on the mat. His family car is parked at the end of your drive. It is the middle of the night, where has he been and why was he here?
After locking the door again you turn to him. He’s looking right at you, hair dripping and in his eyes, clothes sticking to him. “It’s over,” he says breathlessly, “Mina dumped me.” She broke up with him? Thinking back to the park bench you remember telling him he should leave her. He shakes his head a little, fingers reaching up to move the hair out of his view. Water droplets fall onto the wood floor. “She dumped you?” you ask, emphasizing ‘she’ just to make sure you understood it was her that broke things off. He shifts his weight from foot to foot, looking down at his sleeve that he is now fidgeting with. You have never seen Kai act so uncomfortable. Shrugging he confirms weakly “yeah…” Your body slouches, seeing the pain in his face.
“Let’s go sit down. Would you like anything to drink?” Your head dipped slightly to try and catch his gaze.
“No, that's okay. Thank you,” he replies and walks over to the couch. Quickly, you grab a towel from the cupboard for him to sit on, even now your Mum is in your head to protect the fabric. After you lay it out he sits. “Sorry, Mum will go mad if she sees a water stain,” rolling your eyes to show how ridiculous you thought it was. His lips form a brief smile at that. A mini win for you.
“What happened Kai? Are you alright?” you ask softly. He won’t look at you, just stares at the rug.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said and I realised you’re right, I can’t go on like this forever. What am I really getting from being with her anyway?” He pauses and exhales. “Today at school, it went too far. She spoke to me in that harsh tone in front of the group. My friends called her out on it but… she just snapped back at them too. Then walked away like it was nothing, like it was normal. That’s how she treats people.” Scanning over your face, he sees that you are at a loss for words. He looks back at the floor and continues on. “I was thinking about it all day, I couldn’t focus during band practice. I sat in my room for hours, I couldn’t shake it… I’d had enough. I knew it had to end so… I drove to her house.” You couldn’t move, you were transfixed by what he was saying.
“She greeted me sweetly,” he scoffs, “showed me to her room. I told her we weren’t compatible, we are completely different. At first she cried, trying to get me to take it back and feel sorry for her but… I knew it was an act. She didn't like that and got very angry at me, throwing all sorts of stuff from her room at me and calling me awful names. She said she would cancel the band from the show.” He laughs lightly at that.“I reminded her that she needed my band there and that it’s the whole reason why she was dating me… to keep her popularity at school.” Silence fills the space while he replays the memory in his mind, you sit there unmoving holding your breath. “Well that really did it. She pushed me out the door, cackling that she didn’t need me to be popular so we were done. I left and drove straight here.” He looks over at you now that you are all caught up, trying to gauge your thoughts. You couldn’t believe this is what she was like.
“You drove straight here, not home to see your sisters, not to your friends?” you question bewildered as to why he chose you even though you were secretly happy about it.
“You were the first person I thought of,” he admits. You really look at him now, noticing how his eyes have welled up from all the emotions. Overwhelmed by compassion, you reach out and hug him. It’s slightly awkward as he wasn’t facing you so you’re hugging his side. His hand finds your arm and his head leans onto yours.
It’s over, you’re proud of him for sticking his ground and fighting for what he wanted. Trying to lighten the mood you giggle “hey, your band is going to be so insanely amazing that no-one will remember the little cheer performance. You're going to rock their socks off!” A belly laugh sounds from Kai, clearly not expecting your sudden humor. When both of your laughter dies down he asks sheepishly “Will you come watch my band perform?” Moving back from the hug so you can look at him fully you say “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Smiling at each other you hug again.
It is extremely late now so Kai decides he should head home before his Dad notices the car is gone. You agree, not wanting your parents to catch you with a boy in the house even though it was only Kai who they have known since he was young. Promising to meet you at the end of the drive on Monday morning, he says good night and walks to the car. You watch him drive up the street before locking the front door, tidying up and taking yourself to bed. You fall asleep with a dumb smile on your face hoping for a dream that has Kai in it.
The day had finally arrived, the end of year football tournament. You, Hana and Sara had watched the whole first half from the bleachers, eating hot dogs and fries. The news had spread throughout the school that Mina had dropped Kai, it only took her a week to find a new guy she could use. The cheerleading half time show started, in all fairness it is good. You can tell the cheerleaders put in a lot of practice for this, it is just a shame that Mina tries to outshine everyone else. It becomes difficult to watch, making you wonder why she feels the need to act this way. When they finish the crowd claps for them and Mina beams. The second half of the football flies by, your school team wins in the last minute causing a huge applause from your fellow students and teachers. The other school’s spectators disappear as the aftershow is set up. You hear your name being called, you scan around finding Lea and Hiyyih. Grabbing your two friends you make your way towards them at the front.
“Lea! Hiyyih! You came!” excitement taking over you as you hug them tightly. You had missed them.
“Of course. We couldn’t miss our brother's big performance could we?” Lea states, hugging you back just as tight.
“Not a chance,” Hiyyih agrees while getting squished. You all let go and watch as the mics and instruments are set up on the temporary stage.
“Thanks for talking some sense into him by the way,” Lea nudged you.
“What do you mean?”
“He knew Mina wasn't right for him but wouldn’t have had a reason to tell her if it wasn’t for you,” she smiles at you proudly. The crowd is thickening now. A teacher announces the event over the speakers yet you don’t hear as your focus is on Lea’s words. Before you can question her again on what she meant the audience erupts and a beat echoes out across the field.
Suddenly, he is right in front of you, guitar slung over his shoulder, standing behind the microphone. You didn’t realise he sung too. The Huening sisters and your friends sing along and dance like it is a real concert, shifting you with their movements. You stand mesmerised, eyes glued to him like he’s a popstar on the television. Kai’s eyes find you, occasionally looking away but always finding you again. He is gorgeous. Slender fingers move across the fret board with precision revealing just how much practice he has put in this year. Hair blowing around in the breeze letting you glimpse all his expressions as he sings. A few songs pass without you even hearing them properly. Your hearing comes back when Hiyyih screams excitedly beside you. The band continues and this time you listen. You can’t play any instruments or sing very well but you absolutely adored music. Kai’s singing voice is velvety and appears effortless. The songs they chose are catchy and the crowd loves them, joining in with the lyrics and jumping. You have never seen this side of Kai. This is him. All that time feeling unlike himself, the confusion, the worry… is gone. It doesn’t matter anymore. What he truly needs is right here, his band, his guitar, his family, his friends and you.
After the final song, they thank the audience and head off the low stage. Kai ditches his guitar in its case and heads straight into the crowd. He swiftly hugs his sisters then turns to you. Grabbing your shoulders to hold your attention he stares at you with desperation. It didn’t matter that there were people around that could hear him, he needed to tell you now. “I must be the biggest idiot on the planet to not see but I have woken up. What I have been looking for has been here the whole time. You have been here all along, and I don’t just mean down the street, I also mean by my side. I can see now, you belong with me.” Confirmed by your dream all that time ago, you can admit now that this is what you have always wanted, for Kai to see you. Here he is so close to you that you can feel how fast his heart is beating, matching with yours. He panics at your silence and adds “if you’ll have me?”
It wasn’t said as a joke but with genuine concern however you find it silly and giggle. You will definitely have him. Instead of responding with words confidence floods you, tilting your head up to kiss him as confirmation. It takes Kai a few seconds to register what you have done then he reciprocates, smiling into your lips. You hear your friends cheering and whistling in the background and could swear you hear Lea say "finally!" Not wanting to embarrass yourself too much you pull away, hugging him tightly.
This tournament marked the end of the school year. It had been a difficult year but you all survived. Walking home with the Huenings, Kai’s hand in yours, you think about the upcoming summer and the next year at school. It would probably be just as difficult and dramatic but it would be better now that Kai had found where he belonged… with you.
inspiration: Gorgeous by Taylor Swift
pairing: non-idol!Kai x fem!reader
wc: 11k
summary: your new neighbour helps you see that your boyfriend is cheating on you
in this fic: non-idol!txt, non-idol!chaewon and non-idol!yunjin from le sserafim
tw: cheating (not by txt), alcohol comsumption
a/n: I love a next door neighbour fic so I HAD to write one plus Kai is totally gorgeous
You have lived in your tiny studio apartment for 5 years now. Living in the city was your dream and you still love it to this day. The only problem you have encountered was the moody middle aged corporate woman living next door to you on the right. If it wasn’t for her cat Pumpkin, who is your cat Peanut’s best friend, you would struggle to tolerate her. She complained about everyone in the building including you. The walls were quite thin so you could empathise with her a little bit, being victim to some loud and sometimes strange noises from the surrounding apartments too.
Initially you didn’t notice the absence of your neighbour, after living next to her for so many years you had perfected how to avoid her. It was the absence of her cat Pumpkin that had you starting to wonder. He would tightrope walk across the mental railings of your close balconies and enter your space through the sliding door to meet with Peanut. For over a week, Peanut had been sitting by the window every evening waiting for his best friend who never came.
The elderly woman, Mrs Kim, who lived on the other side of you, was a gossip. Whether it came from other tenants or her grandkids she loved a good drama and would share it with anyone she could. Catching you coming home from work one day, she talked your ear off about all sorts yet the only one that got your full attention was that your middle-aged neighbour and her ginger cat had moved out. You couldn’t believe it, Peanut’s friend was gone. You felt a pang of sadness only for it to be taken over by joy realising you didn’t have to deal with your moody neighbour anymore. Mrs. Kim continued talking telling you of the very attractive young gentleman that is now moving in. Like all elderly people, she would exaggerate how gorgeous the younger people of today were, for all you knew she could be telling people you were a beautiful young woman. You wouldn’t hate that actually.
Finally, making it back to your apartment you gave Peanut a big hug and explained to him his friend had moved away. You knew he didn’t understand but it made you feel better to tell him anyway. You decided to buy him a ginger cat plushie as a reminder of his friend.
Entering the corridor from the stairwell you huffed and dragged your feet along, your heavy bag hanging on your shoulder. You loved your job at the office but like all jobs some days were just too much and today had been one of those days. Pulling your keys out of your bag, you notice several cardboard boxes stacked up around your neighbour’s door, one box holding it open. Before you can unlock your door and escape inside, a man appears. He is about to pick up another box when he spots you. A friendly side smile blooming on his face, he steps around the boxes.
“Hey, you must be the pretty young woman with a cat I was told lives next door. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Kai.”
Oh no, Mrs Kim was right. He is gorgeous. There was no exaggeration this time. You can’t tell if it’s from his gaze or the compliment but your face is already tinted pink.
“Hi, I’m Y/N. I can tell you have already met my other neighbour,” you motion to the door next to yours, “She gets very excited to talk to anyone who will listen and my goodness can she talk.” He chuckles, “yeah, I was stuck listening to her for almost an hour. Poor moving men were left to haul all my stuff up here without me but hey, I know a lot about the building already.” You smile at the image of the tiny woman talking up to him. “I’ve only got these left to take in,” he glances round at the remaining boxes giving you the opportunity to quickly look him over. Cute nose, black hair framing his dark eyes, loose fitting black top that is now quite dusty, grey sweatpants and sneakers. Kai turns back around. A killer smile too.
“Well, I’ll let you get on. If you need anything just knock,” you smile at him to show you really did mean it. You would always try to help your neighbours out where you could.
“Thanks so much, I appreciate it. I’ll let you know when I’m all unpacked and maybe you could come over for a house warming drink,” he tilts his head at you still adoring the smirk. It is unclear to you whether he meant that in a friendly way or not, best not think too much into it. Your cheeks flash pink again so you quickly look down to your keys, fumbling with them to move the keyrings out the way.
“I’ll listen out for the knock, good luck with the rest of your unpacking,” and with that you unlock your door and step in without looking at him too closely again. He watches as you walk into your apartment catching a glimpse of the tabby cat meowing at your feet.
“Hey Peanut,” he hears you say before closing the door.
Knowing that your miserable neighbour is gone is a relief but having such a hot man only on the other side of your thin walls is making you sweat a little bit. You hope you never have to interact with Kai when your boyfriend is around.
Kai’s first week in his new apartment has been great. He is getting along really well with everyone in the building, especially the old lady at the end of the corridor that somehow manages to catch him almost every time he is returning home. He hasn’t seen the pretty girl next door as much as he would like. The only time he has seen her, since their initial interaction, was outside the main building doors as he was coming home from work one evening. She met with a man, gave him a kiss then held his hand as they walked away. He must be her boyfriend.
It took him longer to unpack than he expected, not anticipating how difficult it is to reorganise all his belongings in a new space. He has been going to work all week too, not taking too much time off to move. By Friday though he was finally finished. Kai decided he would knock on your door in the evening, noticing that you went to work during the day. He hoped you were alone.
Kai knocks on your door at 7pm, he has just been to the shop and bought a variety of drinks to stock up his apartment so he would definitely have something you liked. He hears you shuffling to the door and unlocking it. The image he is greeted with is not what he was expecting. You are standing in a beautiful dress, neutral shade, flowy short sleeves, length down to your shins. Your hair is curled, matching silver jewelry on and glittery makeup over your eyelids. Kai would be expecting you to be stepping out to go to a fancy restaurant if it wasn’t for the fluffy slippers on your feet. He’s stunned, unable to greet you first.
“Oh… Hi Kai. How are you?” you weekly greet him, quickly trying to fix your eye makeup with the pads of your fingers. The action causes Kai to notice that your eyes are red, small black smudges under them. You had been crying. His smile falls.
“Hey… is everything alright?” he asks, concern evident in his voice.
“Yeah” you reply hastily, not wanting him to worry. Peanut rubs up against your leg, jealous of being left out. You look down at him. Feeling his loving affection causes more tears to well up in your eyes, you were too sensitive right now. Kai sweeps his gaze over your apartment while you are temporarily distracted. On the table are several lit candles and two wine glasses, only one filled.
“Actually… no, I’m not okay,” you confess, looking back up. Kai doesn’t want to pry as you two just met but seeing you so upset wrenches on his heart.
“Are you expecting company?” he treads lightly.
“Not anymore,” you think about your boyfriend and the evening you had planned, the food you made currently keeping warm in the oven. After returning home from work, you had spent hours getting the evening ready to make it special. When Kai knocked you were just composing yourself to spend the evening alone with Peanut. Seeing him standing in your doorway, an idea crosses your mind.
“I made a meal for two but now it's just me, would you like to join me so it doesn’t go to waste?”
Kai had been upgraded from drinks in his bare flat to a meal with you in yours, he thanked his past self for pushing on with the unpacking.
Without hesitating he replies,“I would love to join you,” a softness lacing his voice this time paired with a warm smile. The sight causes your lips to tug into a small smile for the first time this evening.
Kai took off his shoes by the door and crouched to greet Peanut with a gentle stroke on his head. Peanut is a friendly cat so did not waste any time rubbing his fur all over Kai’s dark jeans, purring as he went. Kai chuckled at how affectionate Peanut already is with him. It soothes your heart to see Peanut so happy with another human as your most frequent visitor, your boyfriend, didn’t care for cats so tried to avoid Peanut at all costs. Kai stands up following you into the kitchen, little feet trotting along behind him.
You slide on a pair of oven mitts then lift the baking tray out of the oven. As Kai watches you in your lovely silk dress and brightly coloured oven mitts, his brain spins with questions. You close the oven door and place the tray down. Kai tries his best to ask delicately.
“How come you have ended up alone this evening, if you don’t mind me asking?” Holding a plate in one hand, spatula in the other, you scoop up lasagna and slide it onto the plate.
“My boyfriend was supposed to come round for an early birthday meal with me but he cancelled on me at the last minute,” you let out a breathy laugh to imply it was no big deal yet your red rimmed eyes told the opposite. You repeat the process with the other plate, gaze focused on the task.
“For your birthday?” he clarifies. You nod your head and turn around placing the spatula in the sink. Kai feels a sudden heat rushing throughout his chest. Your boyfriend better have had a good excuse, in fact is there a good excuse to cancel last minute on your girlfriend when she has organised an evening for HER birthday?
Keeping his voice calm, he asks “why did he cancel?” You pick up one of the plates and before you can grab the other Kai has it in his hands, you walk over to your small dining table together. You feel embarrassed to tell him what your boyfriend said he was up to tonight so you try to dodge the question.
“Would you like a drink? I opened a bottle of wine earlier,” you raise the bottle to show him.
“That would be really nice, thank you,” you fill up your glass again and carry both over to the table.
Sitting across from each other now, neither of you touching the cutlery, you know you will have to tell him. His deep brown eyes stare at you, patiently waiting. You sigh realising he should know, after all he has taken your boyfriend's place tonight.
“My boyfriend, Jay…” you pause thinking of the best way to put it, “he texted me an hour ago saying that he was going to spend the night with his mates instead, they will be out clubbing,” you knew this from the countless other times he has been out with his friends. Kai is astounded. Jay ditched you to go to the club?
“And he was aware that this evening was to celebrate your birthday?” he asked, trying to understand this man’s logic.
“He did,” you mumble, feeling the sadness wash over you once again. Staring down at the pasta you had made your appetite vanishes. The sight reminding you of who it was for and how he chose to spend his night elsewhere. Kai studied your expression, understanding that this was hurting you more than your words suggested. He wondered how a man could be so stupid when it came to a woman so beautiful as you.
He has to turn this evening around, even if it isn’t your birthday today he wants to celebrate. He raises his wine glass, “To Y/N, happy early birthday and congrats on your amazing new neighbour!” You are grateful for the energy shift. Kai’s face is filled with hope, you raise your glass too clinking it against his before taking a well needed large sip.
“Thank you Kai. My new neighbour definitely beats my old moody neighbour,” you giggle, “shame he doesn’t have a ginger cat called Pumpkin.” Kai tilts his head at you, brows furrowed slightly.
“Oh yeah…” you realise he didn’t know about Pumpkin, “she had a cat called Pumpkin, he was best friends with Peanut. He would visit my apartment everyday via the balcony to see him,” your eyes search the floor for your cat, finding him sitting right by Kai’s feet, sweeping his tail across the floor like a dog. Kai followed your gaze down to Peanut. He leaned down to rub his head evoking a happy meow.
“I was thinking about getting him a little ginger cat plushie as a reminder,” Kai practically bounces out of his seat at your words.
“Oh oh, I know a great place that sells plushies. They have a huge selection of cats, we should go some time,” he turns back to Peanut, “sorry about your friend buddy, bet you miss him.” Watching Kai pet your cat, a comfortable calm feeling settles across your chest. You had been so busy all day, at work then preparing the evening, getting yourself ready all for it to come to a screeching halt with a single one line text. Now in front of you is a person who enjoys your cat's company, asks the right amount of questions, and makes plans for both of you without giving it a second thought. Things your boyfriend definitely didn’t do.
The evening goes well, just as Kai wanted. The lasagna slowly disappeared between conversation and laughing. Kai steered the chatting away from relationships feeling that would be the best course of action for tonight. You both learned so much about each other. Kai told you about his four best friends, insisting that you would have to meet them at their next monthly game night that will be held at Kai’s new apartment. He spoke passionately about his job as a music producer, diving into some stories about recent projects he is working on. You find out he is a middle child between two sisters which explains his patience and calm tone. When it is your turn to share he listens to you intently, finding out you work in an office, which sounds boring but you actually really love it. Besides Peanut, you have two human best friends. The three of you usually meet up every few weeks to catch up and discuss the books you were reading. You tell him about your family and how they live in the suburbs so you only get to see them during the holidays.
After the meal, Kai generously helps you to wash up and put things away. While observing him wipe down the table, you are struck by an intrusive comparison. Other people in your life, like your friends and family, would do the same as Kai now, help out and share the workload between you. You know this yet your brain compares him to Jay. Based on your first proper interaction with Kai tonight you can already tell that they are complete opposites. Jay doesn’t care for your cat, Jay doesn’t choose to spend the night with you, Jay wouldn’t help you tidy up, Jay wouldn’t sit there and actually listen to you, eyes on you, asking follow up questions that make sense. Kai has done all of those things tonight.
Returning the cloth back where he found it he says “All done! Thank you so much for inviting me in, I’ve had a really nice time getting to know my new neighbour and her cute cat. The lasagna was delicious by the way, I’d definitely eat that again,” he chuckles at himself.
“No problem, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I don’t think it would have been very nice if I ate it for my lunch tomorrow,” you scrunch your nose in disgust. He laughs again.
“Glad I could help out.” Peanut jumps up onto the counter begging for attention. Kai’s eyes widen remembering his suggestion earlier.
“Thanks for the reminder buddy,” he strokes Peanut’s head then takes his phone out of his pocket, “lets exchange numbers then you can let me know when you are free to visit the plushie shop I told you about.” He holds his phone out to you and you gladly take it.
“You’re only next door Kai,” you jest whilst typing your number in.
“I know, but you might not always be able to come to the door.” You hand his phone back to him. He smiles at you then walks to the door getting his shoes. Peanut meows in protest, he has really gotten attached to Kai already and he has only been here a few hours. Giggling, you pick Peanut up and hold him in your arms before he can follow Kai back to his apartment.
“Goodnight Peanut,” he says, patting his little head one last time, “and goodnight Y/N,” he whispers. Taking your gaze off Peanut, your breath hitches realising just how close he is. His signature smile you have become accustomed to these past few hours stretches across his face. He moves backwards reaching for the door handle. You should be saying goodnight but he just looks so gorgeous that your brain is stuck not being able to send the signals to your mouth . Opening the door, he turns and steps through into the corridor. You hold the door open with your foot, cat still draped in your arms. Hearing his door unlock brings you out of your daze.
“Goodnight Kai, see you soon.” Looking at each other one last time you both head into your apartments separated only by a thin wall.
Kai didn’t want to seem too eager to hang out with you so he waited a few days before texting. A plan was made to go to the plushie store at the weekend and to ask your friends if they wanted to join Kai’s game night. He had already asked his friends and they declared the more the merrier. He had never been more excited for a game night.
During the week his excitement changed to concern as he heard odd noises coming from your flat. He had been told the walls were thin between apartments in this building but sometimes he swore he could hear you crying. He hoped it was just your TV.
One night he gets home earlier than he had been other days this week. This particular project had been running into the late hours everyday but today they decided to pack up early. He decided to spend the extra free time trying to finish a video game he started months ago. At first he hears little bangs here and there, he thinks nothing of it, maybe you were cleaning but then he hears a man's voice. Kai assumes it must be Jay, your boyfriend, so he relaxes and continues his video game. Not long later, he hears the male voice again but this time it is louder, angry sounding followed by a series of thumps. Kai pauses the game and stands up, ear tilted towards the wall. All the apartments are built the same so he knows that your bedroom is on the other side of this wall.
Silence stretches on for a few minutes, he tries to convince himself it was nothing. Maybe Jay is watching his favourite sports team and they aren’t doing so well. Kai goes to sit back down when his body freezes in place upon hearing Jay shouting. This time though, it is loud enough for Kai to hear every word.
“I’LL GO OUT WHEN I LIKE AND WITH WHO I LIKE, YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO, IT WASN’T EVEN YOUR ACTUAL BIRTHDAY SO WHY DOES IT MATTER?” Kai is shocked at his words. There’s a brief pause where you must have responded to him quietly, then he continues, “ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF CHEATING? DON’T BE SO DUMB Y/N.” A soft thump hits the wall next to Kai’s head causing him to step back. After his outburst the conversation volume returns to normal level, Kai strains his ears to hear anything else but all he manages to catch is, “you’re the only girl I want.”
Feeling confused by the rollercoaster of emotions he wonders how you must be feeling. The man shouted at you, called you dumb and said your birthday dinner didn’t matter but then is saying you are the only one for him. Kai knows not to believe it. Finally sitting down, he resumes his game, lowering the volume to keep an ear out for you. He won’t text you tonight to ask if you are alright, even though he wants to check on you, as that would be admitting he heard your argument. Eventually the low game music is disturbed by a rhythmic tapping against the wall, he connects his headphones to blast the music through so he doesn’t have to hear what is happening now.
The weekend arrives without any more disturbances from your apartment. Kai knocks on your door at the agreed time. Grabbing your bag you call out to Peanut, “I’ll be back soon Pea.” You open the door to find a grinning Kai, looking handsome as usual.
“Are you excited?” He clearly is based on how he is practically bouncing now waiting for you to lock up.
“Yes, let’s go. Lead the way,” you reply between giggles.
The day is sunny and bright, it warms your skin. Walking side by side, Kai is rambling on about previous game nights he and his friends have had. It sounds like they are truly great friends, you’re eager to meet them in a week's time. Coming to the end of a particularly ridiculous story that has both of you fighting for breath, he realises he has been doing all the talking. He’s reluctant to bring up your boyfriend yet the need to know how you are after the other night gnaws away at him inside.
Diverting the conversation to you he casually asks “How has it been going with your boyfriend recently?”
“Huh?” you are taken off guard by the sudden switch up. Truthfully, it hadn’t been going too well this past week but you aren’t going to worry Kai with that. “It’s been going okay.”
By the way you won’t meet his gaze he knows that there’s more to it than that but he won’t push you.
“Did he say anything about your birthday dinner?” You search your brain for the words Jay used.
“He was at the club like I predicted, he apologised telling me it slipped his mind that the dinner was for my birthday, he reassured me that I’m the only one he wants,” you lightly smile remembering the moment. Kai looks away from you now, knowing what happened after he told you that. Wanting to move on quickly he realises he doesn’t actually know when your birthday is.
“When is your birthday? Are you doing anything to celebrate?” Turning the corner, the plushie store comes into view.
“It’s on Saturday. I haven’t got any solid plans yet, I was just going to do something with my friends.” No boyfriend again.
“Jay not taking you out?” Kai doesn’t want to keep talking about him yet a curious pull keeps dragging him to understand.
“No… he was going to but now he has to go on a last minute work trip.” The warm rush he felt last week learning that your boyfriend stood you up returns. He decides to give the man the benefit of the doubt, work can be unkind.
Finally reaching the store Kai announces “We’re here!” Smile returning to your face, you follow him in. While watching you “aww” over every cat plushie, Kai thinks about how perfect it is that your birthday is on Saturday. The game night is Friday. You can meet each other's friends, get acquainted and then go on a celebratory night out. He’s just deciding if it should all be on the same night or over the two when you hold a fluffy ginger cat plushie in his face.
“This is the one!” you beam at him. Seeing your ecstatic face at finding the perfect gift for Peanut, he focuses back on you. He feels the soft faux fur agreeing that it is perfect.
On the walk back, Kai shares his idea with you. He notices your eyes start to sparkle as he talks it through. You're agreeing with him before he can finish explaining. It was decided, game night on Friday then the club on Saturday. Forget your boyfriend, you would spend the night with your friends instead.
Arriving on your floor, you immediately spot Mrs Kim’s open door. This is how she captures passerbys in her web.
“Ohhh Y/N, how lovely to see you and oh… Kai too, how wonderful! You both look so radiant today, have you been in the sunshine,” you can’t help nervously laughing knowing exactly what assumption she is about to make. Kai answers innocently before you can think of an answer.
“Good morning, Mrs Kim. Thank you, we just made a trip to the store,” Mrs Kim’s eyes widen in delight. Red creeps across your cheeks.
“Ahhhhh how wonderful! Awww Y/N, I’m so proud of you. You two make such a lovely couple,” she gushes. It takes Kai’s brain a few seconds for the confusion to float away then his cheeks match yours. Waving your hands rapidly you try to correct her gently, “oh no Mrs Kim, Kai and I aren’t dating, we are just friends. I’m still with my boyfriend Jay.” The smile instantly falls off her face and you cringe.
“Mmm… well that’s a shame,” she shakes her head in disappointment, “maybe one day ehh?”
You hum in agreement just to make her feel better. Before she can jump into some gossip she heard recently you wish her a good day. Kai shuffles along behind you.
Finally reaching your apartment, Kai steps in with you. Trying to ignore the awkwardness you call for Peanut and pull out the new ginger cat plushie.
“Hey Pea, look what I got. It’s Pumpkin!” Your cat rubs his little head over the plushie again and again meowing up at you. Setting it down on the couch, he instantly curls up with it, finding a comfy spot.
“Awww, do you think he recognises it as Pumpkin?” The cuteness is too much, your lips form a pout.
“He must do,” normally this would have been super cute to Kai too but his brain can’t let go of Mrs Kim’s reaction to your boyfriend. Why did she seem to dislike him so much?
You notice his distance so you turn around to face him, deciding you need to quickly address the situation in the corridor and move on.
“Hey, about Mrs Kim… don’t mind her, she loves to match make and get in everyone's business. It keeps her going.” He doesn’t know what to say so he just nods. His demeanour has changed since the interaction with Mrs Kim, you hope he doesn’t feel odd around you after being called a cute couple.
“So… I’ll see you on Friday then,” your voice elevated, doing your best to break the tension.
“I’ll see you on Friday,” he responds with a slight smile. Kai leaves your apartment wondering if it would be seen as invading your privacy to ask Mrs Kim about your boyfriend.
Friday finally arrives. After work, Kai spends a couple of hours setting up his apartment to host the game night. He takes a trip to the local shop to grab some snacks and drinks, he tidies up and gathers all the games he knows his friends enjoy the most. Around 6pm he hears loud laughter bleeding through the walls from your apartment, your friends must have arrived early.
Your best friends from school, Chaewon and Yunjin, have always been your biggest supporters except when it comes to Jay. They had tried in the nicest way possible to help you see that he just isn’t the right partner for you.You had brushed them off thinking their previous relationship experiences were clouding their judgement. Jay loves you, he doesn’t say it often or show it often either if you are honest but he is still with you. The girls are happy you are trying to expand your social circle and are excited to join you tonight. They hope the exposure to more men your age will help you see why Jay is not boyfriend material.
You knock on Kai’s door at 7pm. You feel nerves bubble up in your stomach, before you can debate why the door is swinging open revealing Kai wearing a black hoodie and a gorgeous smile as always. A flood of unfamiliar voices rushes out of his apartment. He steps aside and ushers the three of you in. You hang back to let the girls enter first, hearing them introduce themselves to Kai’s friends. Your stomach is bubbling even worse now.
“Hey, thanks for inviting us over,” you step in, replacing your uneasy expression with a soft smile. He closes the door behind you.
“Of course, it’s the first game night here so I had to invite my cool new neighbour,” he says while lightly bumping his elbow against yours as he walks past, “plus, Mrs Kim told me you needed more friends,” he jokes. You roll your eyes playfully, knowing that it probably isn’t far from the truth. Mrs Kim is way too invested in who you spend your time with, she is an honorary family member at this point.
You follow Kai to the sitting area to join the group. The conversation flows easily between you all as you get acquainted. Everyone sits on the carpet in a big circle as there is not enough space for the eight of you on Kai’s small couch. Kai is on your left with Chaewon and Yunjin on your right. Looking over the boys you commit their names to memory so you don’t get them mixed up, from left to right is Taehyun, Beomgyu, Soobin and Yeonjun. Listening to his friends you learn so much about Kai, they gush over him to try and embarrass him and you notice it works as the tips of his ears turn red.
“Did you know that Kai has been single for several years now, the man spends too much time working,” Beomgyu spills, watching the girls closely for a reaction.
“Hey Gyu, they aren’t bothered about that, we should pick out a game to play,” Kai softly pleads, turning his face away from the circle to look through the board game boxes behind him. Your eyebrows raise at the new information. Kai is single? For some reason you just assumed with how attractive and charming he is he would be taken. You are happy with Jay yet you remember feeling jealous of the girlfriend you had pictured Kai with. Learning that he is single stirs a strange feeling within you that you can’t describe. It mixes with the nervous bubbles making you feel slightly queasy. Believing he was taken eased your mind as he was unavailable, now you know he is single and that is honestly worse. You could hear your Mum tutting at you for always wanting what you can’t have.
“I swear if you wore your glasses more often people would be lining up around the block to date you,” Soobin chimes in.
“Glasses?” you asked out loud before your brain could catch up to your mouth. Kai pulls a game out of the stack like a jenga piece placing it in his lap to remove the lid. Without looking up he replies, “yeah, I’ve actually got pretty bad eyesight but I choose to wear contacts during the day, it's easier with all the headphones I wear at work.”
While he is focusing on setting the game up, you study his face trying to imagine him with glasses on. He would look cute you decide. They would frame his dark eyes that always seem to sparkle at you with his black locks tickling the lenses. Kai leans forward to place the game board down in the middle of you all. His movement disturbs your gaze allowing you to realise you may have been staring at him a little too long. Scanning around the circle no one seems to have noticed, they are listening intently to Taehyun who is reading out the game rules. You best limit your glances and chatting with Kai tonight, a few seconds of red cheeks or a giggle too long and your friends will pounce on the idea that you like him. You did not need any more conversations on why you should break up with Jay.
This game Kai chose is new to you. Having only caught the end of the rules you have to closely watch the others play. Turns are taken clockwise so you are the last to go. Throughout the game you manage to keep your focus on the board, there are many players and various strategies so you can’t afford for your mind to wander. You pick up the rules as you go along however, it isn’t enough for you to win.
Beomgyu jumps up in celebration of his victory, laughing and dancing around the room. The boys roll their eyes, used to his overdramatic reactions. While Kai and Taehyun return the game to its box, you notice Yunjin is sitting closer to Yeonjun than she was before. You watch as she chats to him in a whisper, a giggly smile on her face. You make a mental note to ask her about it later.
Not wanting to witness the escalating heated debate between Soobin and Beomgyu over which game to play next, you and Chaewon volunteer to grab snacks from the kitchen. Kai had left everything out so you didn’t have to go searching through the cupboards. Taking the 2 litre bottle of Pepsi you unscrew the lid and pour out eight glasses, watching the fizzy bubbles rise and pop reminding you of your stomach earlier.
“What club are we going to tomorrow again? Did we decide?” Chaewon asks while ripping open a bag of sweet and salty popcorn.
“I don’t think so… what is the name of that popular one downtown?” Screwing the cap back on, you place all the full glasses on a tray. You're too focused on your task to see Chaewon’s face scrunch up in horror. She knew the popular club in town is your boyfriend's favourite. She has never caught him doing anything suspicious but she still didn’t want to take you there just in case.
“Ahhh I’m not sure that one is any good, maybe we should ask the boys if they have any suggestions.” You nod in oblivious approval before carefully walking back to the sitting room balancing the tray with both your hands. Kai passes you in the hall, you don’t look up.
Chaewon stands for a moment, thoughts racing. Seeing Jay in a club would ruin your entire night. She wants to voice her concerns to you but doesn’t want to irritate you again by bringing up the boyfriend topic.
“Hey is everything alright?” Suddenly hearing Kai’s voice causes Chaewon to jump, not noticing his presence until now.
“Oh yeah I’m fine,” she laughs it off emptying the rest of the popcorn into the bowl, “just debating which club to go to tomorrow…” She pauses. Kai waits, feeling the weight of unspoken words in the air. Her voice comes out quieter this time, “I just don’t want her to run into Jay… we should be having fun celebrating her.” Kai is unsure what to say, he knew Jay liked clubbing but why would seeing him be a bad thing, it’s her boyfriend.
“Why would running into him ruin the fun?” he asks, she looks up at him with a sad expression. Before she is able to answer, Beomgyu and Soobin burst in talking over each other at a hundred miles a minute. From what Kai can make out the game has finally been selected and set up so now they are just waiting for them. Chaewon grabs the bowl of popcorn and bolts away leaving Kai to internally curse his friends for once again being too loud.
When Kai returns to the sitting room with a plate of chocolate chip cookies, Mario Kart is pulled up on the TV. It's a tradition every game night to have a racing competition. Only four can play at once so the spectators sit on the couch. For the first round, you are sandwiched between Kai and Taehyun on the floor, Chaewon is sat on the far right. You hadn’t played this game in such a long time that your first lap is embarrassing, you are almost in last place. The controller clicking sounds next to you is the only indication that Kai is sitting there unlike the others who are commentating and laughing throughout. He is concentrating on keeping his lead position. Finishing in seventh place you turn around to Yunjin to hand her the controller with a slight huff. That was more difficult than you expected, these boys really like racing games.
Swapping over with the others you find yourself sitting next to Kai again, you really couldn’t get away from him this evening. As soon as the race starts the shouting begins between Beomgyu and Soobin as they fight for first place. You can’t help laughing at them, were they always like this or is this all for entertainment? It all faded into the background as Kai leant over to you whispering in your ear “is it just me or is there a little something happening over there?” He gestures with his head over to the other side of the room at Yeonjun and Yunjin. They were sitting close together, their chatting being drowned out by the feral screeching of the boys. Kai noticed them too. You turn to look at him to discuss it, forgetting how close he is. The sight knocks the wind out of you. Your brain goes blank. His eyes meet yours expecting you to say something but you can’t, the thoughts have evaporated. You can’t say anything to his face. His rich espresso eyes stare into yours, you feel like you might sink and drown in them.
Kai wishes he knew what you were thinking right now. Are you at a loss for words because you are so shocked at your friend or could he be delusional enough to think it was him. The race finishes with Yeonjun in first place, his male opponents are straight on their feet complaining about something, you weren’t sure what exactly. Kai breaks away from your gaze to stand up, pulling his friends apart telling them to keep it down. The walls are too thin, he didn’t want complaints from the other tenants in the building.
Yunjin flops down in Kai’s spot on the couch, a beaming smile plastered on her face.
“Yeonjun knows of a cool club we can go to tomorrow night,” she says, making eye contact with Chaewon to let her know that it could be a Jay free club. Chaewon sighs in relief. With Kai gone, words finally return to your brain, “Ahh that’s great, we were talking about that earlier.”
Checking your phone for the first time tonight you gasp, it is 11pm, you should go soon. Then you notice a text message, it’s from Jay. It took your brain a second to register, you completely forgot about him. Unlocking your phone, you swipe at the notification to preview his message.
“I gotta go,” you exhale, abruptly standing up and walking out the room. The girls look at you in shock scrambling after you, questioning why you had to leave in such a rush. Silence falls over the boys, eyes trailing after you three. They follow too.
“It’s Jay,” you tell them, pulling your shoes on. Kai’s stomach turns at the mention of his name.
“Is he alright?” Yunjin asks worry in her voice even though she did not care for him.
“I’m not sure, his text was quite vague but he needs me,” you look back up at the seven of them, all their attention on you. Kai felt nauseous at your phrasing.
“I’ll catch you all tomorrow,” you throw them a smile, “thanks so much again Kai for inviting us.” Before he can respond you have flown out the door.
Not too long later, Chaewon and Yunjin decide to leave too. They solidify plans for tomorrow night and exchange numbers with the boys before getting in a taxi. This is not usually how their game nights finished. They either ended in an argument over something silly or in fits of laughter at something dumb, never in silence because they didn’t know what to say. Taehyun put a random movie on the TV and the remaining snacks were dragged to the sitting room.
All the snacks were gone and the movie was almost over when one of them finally spoke up.
“Soooo… What is the deal with this Jay guy?” Yeonjun asked, turning towards Kai. He lets out a long exhale knowing this question was inevitable.
“He’s Y/N’s boyfriend,” his tone flat and eyes lowered. Kai didn’t need to say anything else, the boys could tell he didn’t like Jay.
After last night Kai needed some fresh air. He walked to his favourite café and treated himself to a coffee and a pastry then strolled around enjoying the sweet cream filling and warm breeze. Returning to the apartment building, he typed in the main door code and opened it, coming face to face with the little old lady, Mrs Kim.
“Good morning, Mrs Kim. How are you today?” Kai greeted her, holding the door open so she could pass through. Taking small steps she exited the building, standing on the pavement beside him. The dramatic height difference between them causes the lady to strain her neck to see his face.
“Good morning, Kai. I am very well thank you. How about yourself? Have you been up too much these past few days?” Her eyes are fixed upon him waiting for any scrap of news she can get out of him.
“I’m a little tired. I hosted a game night last night,” she noticed the coffee cup in his hands and the slight darkness around his eyes.
“Oh how wonderful! Sounds like a lovely time. Did you invite Y/N round? She will benefit from some time away from that boyfriend of hers.” This is it. This is the moment Kai was thinking about the other day. Mrs Kim brought the boyfriend up first, Kai is just following the conversation.
“I did invite her, she brought two of her friends around too. She seemed to enjoy it,” he pauses, pondering how to ask about Jay. “Why would she need time away from her boyfriend Mrs Kim?”
Upon hearing his question, her smile dropped and her eyes rolled. A long sigh left her lips.
“Urgh Kai, I could talk your ear off about why I think he is not right for her but I know you're tired so I’ll do my best to keep it short,” she shot him a sweet smile then continued, “I’ve never liked him, ever since I first met him a few years ago I knew something was off with him but she is blinded by love, or what she thinks is love anyway.”
It is easier for people outside of a relationship to see the faults, Mrs Kim could see many with yours, yet it is a difficult task trying to enlighten the ones in it to see those faults.
“I suspect he is not trustworthy. It's the little things you know, like holding the door open for people,” she says gesturing to Kai as he had just done that for her, “buying flowers on special occasions, finding time to spend together even when you are both busy, plus…” she pauses taking in a large breath, “and this is a big one… not being seen with your arm around other women in the broad light of day.” Kai involuntarily gasps. He wouldn’t? Right? Jay told you only last week that you were the only girl for him. Is he lying to you? Is he cheating on you?
Mrs Kim watches Kai’s eyes go wide, seeing that he’d had his own suspicions about Jay and now there was evidence.
She adds fuel to the fire. “I see him quite regularly with various women, when I’m on my way to Bingo every Friday, when I’m doing my weekly shop on a Monday… and that’s during the day. Imagine what he’s up to on a night,” Kai’s mind is taken back to the evening in your apartment, you told him Jay goes out often to the club with his friends. His eyes have wandered away from Mrs Kim now, deep in thought.
“Y/N did tell me that he goes out clubbing alot,” a sudden single clap from the old lady’s hands startles Kai to look at her once again.
“There you go, he is not to be trusted,” she thrusts her bony index finger at him, “you need to help her see that she deserves so much better Kai.” This is her favourite thing about gossip, watching a person's face as it contorts with emotions, mind swirling with new information. Kai seems to be conflicted, unsure of what to think and how he could possibly help you in this situation.
“Anyway, I will let you go. Go and get some well needed rest sweetheart.” Mrs Kim smiles devilishly and pats him lightly on the arm before shuffling away. Kai can barely utter a goodbye, mind racing with questions. She chuckles to herself, proud that she may have set her most hoped gossip into motion.
Sunlight streaming into the room wakes you up, you roll over to check the time on the bedside clock. It's 10am. Stretching your arms you realise this isn’t your bedroom. Turning your head you see Jay. Flashbacks of last night rush back to you, leaving Kai’s apartment, calling Jay, going to his place and the long chat about his work. You are relieved to remember that you are only in his bed because it was too late for you to make it back to your apartment. Slowly starting to question why you feel relief at that fact your mind is distracted by Jay waking up. He yawns obnoxiously loud then gets up without saying a word, walks to the bathroom and locks the door.
You make the bed, get yourself ready and gather your things. Unlocking your phone you wait for him on the couch. There are several messages from Chaewon and Yunjin in your group chat asking you various questions but the singular message from Kai grabs your attention first.
Kai
Thanks for coming over last night, it was really fun. I hope everything went okay after you left. See you tonight, birthday girl!
You had almost forgotten, it’s your birthday today. New messages from your friends flood in wishing you a happy birthday and hoping you are alright this morning. While typing out a response, Jay enters the room with a full duffel bag dropping it on the wood flooring creating a loud bang. Your head snaps up at him.
“Well, I’m off,” he said without looking at you, grabbing his keys from the kitchen. You stand up and pocket your phone, you’ll reply to them soon.
“Oh okay but before you go, is there anything you need to say to me?” you prompt playfully hoping it will jog his memory. You place your hands on his chest as you search his eyes for any recognition. His hands lay by his sides, clutching his keys.
“No…” his voice emotionless and expression blank. He really didn’t remember? “I really have to go,” he removes your hands from him picking up his bag. Your brows furrow. Jay pushes you out the door so he can lock up.
“I’ll be back on Monday,” he calls out over his shoulder marching down the hallway. You stand frozen, processing the moment. You didn’t get a goodbye or a happy birthday from your boyfriend.
Finally making it back to your apartment, you cuddle Peanut who is more than happy to have you back. You reply to your friends and ask if you could all get ready together this evening.
Being with your best friends for hours dancing, singing and getting ready has done wonders to lift your spirits. You never told them about this morning with Jay, he must have just been upset about leaving you for the weekend.
Entering the cool club Yeonjun recommended, Yunjin scans the room furiously checking her phone every 5 seconds for texts from him. The boys are already here. On your journey to the club, you asked Yunjin about her developing crush which causes her to blush the deepest shade of red you have ever seen from her. She spilled her feelings to you reminding you of Mrs Kim and how she would revel in this gossip.
Spotting the boys, she makes a beeline for them. All five of them are huddled round a table, clutching half empty drinks. Upon seeing you then all cheer and burst into the happy birthday song. Soobin places a silly bright red cone party hat on your head which clashes with your cool-toned outfit.
“This round is on me as a birthday gift, what would you girls like to drink?” Yeonjun asks, taking your orders then fighting his way through the crowd with Taehyun to the bar.
After a few rounds, you all migrate to the dance floor. The songs transition into each other seamlessly causing the hours to blur. You have had some good birthdays in the past but this is definitely the best. Singing along to Love Story by Taylor Swift you are shocked to see that Kai knows every word and is singing along just as enthusiastically. It warms your heart and makes you giggle. As the chorus begins you are fixated on him, watching as he begs Romeo to run away, refers to himself as a princess and declares his love. All his actions and the way he sings it is ridiculously cute to you. Before your brain could catch up you playfully mimic his higher pitched voice to sing “I’ll be the princess” just as he did. You gasp realising what you’ve just done without thinking. An expression of shock flashes across his face for only a second before his infectious cackly laughter takes over. The whole group laughs along with him. You're glad he found it funny and hoped he would see your copying as a compliment. The attention only increases his dramatic performance for the rest of the song.
The dancefloor is quite dark considering there are loads of strobing multi-coloured flashing lights beaming down from above. After a few drinks and a couple hours of dancing your skills have dropped off, you can just manage to sway clumsily and shout the lyrics now. A warm hand intertwines with yours pulling you round, expecting to see one of the girls you almost choke as you look up and find Kai instead. Your heart skips a beat. It may be the alcohol coursing through your system but you felt drawn to him like he emits a strong magnetic field. You step closer.
Kai gave you his best carefree smile hoping you didn’t catch his panic. Just moments ago he thought he spotted Jay across the club, he was unsure if it was him at first thinking the stranger just looked like him in the dim light. But as a group of clubbers vacated the dancefloor, Jay came into perfect view with a lady sitting on his lap. Kai acted on instinct to grab your hand and spin you round so you were facing the other side of the club. He has never sobered up so quickly in his life. Now with all your attention on him he has to decide what to do next. As if on queue, Chaewon dramatically gasps and turns around at break neck speed, a sigh of relief leaving her when she sees Kai has already noticed.
“Hey, Y/N will you come to the ladies room with me please?” She calls out, and takes your hand from Kai’s. You agree absentmindedly. Chaewon motions to the others with a nod of her head telling Kai to talk to them while you are gone. He accepts the mission gathering up the group to talk. They need to come up with a plan, do they tell you or keep you in the dark?
Chaewon did her best to keep you away for as long as possible but eventually you two had to rejoin the group. They had left the dancefloor to sit in a booth. You notice the energy shift immediately, something has happened. Sitting down next to Yunjin, you ask her if everything is alright. Her glassy eyes look up at you, a worried look on her face.
“Y/N… I don’t know how to tell you this but you deserve to know,” her voice trembling. Confusion replaces all your thoughts and feelings. What is she talking about?
“What we are about to show you is really upsetting, we only do it because we love you,” she pauses to take a breath and grabs your hands. You glance around at the others who have the same sad look on their faces. Kai’s eyes stare down, he doesn’t want to see your reaction in fear for what it might make him do.
“We have suspected it for a while but we haven’t had any solid evidence until tonight. I’m so sorry Y/N,” she removes one of her hands from yours to gesture across the club.
You look out across the club in the direction Yunjin had pointed, eye brows furrowed in confusion and eyes squinting to see through the darkness. Scanning and scanning you start to wonder what she is going on about then you see him. Jay. Sat in a booth surrounded by his friends with a drink in his hand. A slim girl, who looked younger than you, sitting on his lap. For a few seconds you felt no emotion, just numbness then the bewilderment set in. Why is he here? He told you he was away for the weekend with work. Did it get cancelled? Why didn’t he tell you? What if there was no work trip and he lied to you? Is this the first time he has lied to you?
Your mind was spiraling, falling deeper and deeper. Disorientation fading giving way to anger. It doesn’t matter if this is the first time or not, he has lied to you and is cheating on you. You watch as he kisses the girl hungrily. Yunjin is right, you deserve better. Making up your mind you stand up. A series of gasps sound around the booth.
“You're not about to go over there are you?” Beomgyu asks quickly, “cause I don’t think that's a good idea, right guys?” He searches for agreement.
“I’m going,” you leave no room for debate as you stomp away. The whole group stands up simultaneously. Kai pushes past the boys to get to you.
“Hey Y/N,” he grabs your hand, you keep walking, “let’s think this through first please, I don’t want anything to happen to you.” You stop dead in your tracks to look at him. He has never seen you like this before, you are so upset that you have tipped into fury. His sparkly pleading eyes almost stop you but anger overpowers the feeling.
“There’s nothing to think about, Kai, it ends now!” You leave him behind, making your way towards Jay.
Reaching his table, you see his expression drop as he exhales a long breath. He pushes the girl off him to lean forward.
“Baby, I can explain,” his voice smooth and hopeful. You feign a calm composure.
“There’s nothing to explain Jay,” you say, forcing a smile, “I can see it for myself that you are a liar and a cheater so… we’re done.” He gulps then runs his hands over his face.
“Wait wait… what?”
It all makes sense now, the constant club trips, the way he would shout at you for the smallest questions about those club trips and the way he would make it up to you after he had convinced you. You feel stupid for not seeing it sooner and embarrassed for not listening to your friends.
“You can continue on as you are, doing whatever it is you do at the club but… we’re over.”
“Over? OVER?” his voice rises, the anger transferring into him, “YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHEN WE’RE OVER!” he stands, walking around the table to you. His eyes wild with rage like a predator stalking prey. Your friends panic, stuck like deer in headlights. Kai’s body moves without him telling it to.
Confidence plumating, you open your mouth to respond when your vision is blocked by a tall form. You sigh in relief recognising Kai’s back in front of you.
“Hey man, let’s take it easy okay,” Kai insists, his voice completely different to how he spoke to you only minutes ago.
“Move! This is none of your business,” Jay shoves Kai’s chest. He tries his best to maintain his balance, only wobbling slightly, so he doesn’t fall back into you. Kai decides not to respond, there is no winning in an argument with people like Jay. You shout over Kai’s shoulder, “I meant it Jay, we are done.” Grabbing Kai’s hand you slowly reverse away, guiding him with your free hand on his back so he doesn’t trip. Thankfully, Jay doesn’t follow. He just stands there seething.
When a comfortable distance has been reached you both turn and head for the club doors. The group follows closely behind. The last thing you hear before leaving is Jay shouting that he didn’t need you anyway and that he never did.
The journey back to your apartment building was silent, everyone was still processing the interaction. Chaewon kindly asked the boys for some space so they waited in Kai’s apartment. They sit just like they did the night before, unsure of what to do or what to say. The thin walls let the girls mumbled voices bleed through.
Sinking further into his couch, Kai can’t stop thinking about how thankful he is that nothing happened to you tonight. He had a feeling Jay would react like that which is why he begged you not to face him. He dreads to think what may have happened if he hadn’t stood between you. A distant violent sob causes Kai’s ears to tune back in. You're crying over that ungrateful man, his heart sinks at the sound. Taehyun has never seen Kai look so helpless, his features weren’t meant to accommodate such a glum expression. Kai is his best friend so he knew the answer to his question before he even asked it.
“You like her don’t you?” Kai’s gaze rises to meet Taehyun’s across the room. The sudden sound causes the other boys’ heads to turn and look at him. It felt inappropriate to discuss such fluttery feelings right now when your sobs could still be heard so he doesn’t respond with words. He lightly nods his head then breaks eye contact feeling overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. His friend’s eyes soften at the confession. They all now understood his chivalrous act earlier a little better. Kai lets his head drop back to rest on the couch, his mind wanders to your tabby cat Peanut, hoping he is giving you unlimited cuddles.
Violent sobbing is tearing from you now as you curl into a ball in the girls’ arms. Peanut rubs his fluffy head against your ankles.
“I’m… so… sorry… I’m so stupid… I should have… listened to you,” they shush you and hold you until you run out of tears. Turns out this may not be the best birthday you have ever had. When you can finally breathe again they listen to you intently as you tell them all the red flags you missed including this morning's lying and lack of birthday wishes. It is so obvious to you now. Wait until Mrs Kim gets her little hands on this gossip, she will be sad for you of course but also happy to see the end of Jay.
The girls decide to stay over for the night, cheering for a birthday sleepover. You order late night pizzas and watch a heart warming Disney movie. The girls giggle and sing along like usual while you sit quietly, they don’t ask you to join in this time. You wouldn’t be able to sing along anyway. You were thinking about Kai. How he looked at you so sweetly and spoke to you so desperately then bravely jumped in to help you. Kai was there for your birthday meal, he was there when you needed a gift for Peanut, he was there when you needed friends to spend time with and he was there on your birthday... He is also next door right now.
It’s like your brain deleted a file. Since you woke up on that Sunday morning you forgot that Jay existed. During your relationship you saw him so infrequently that removing him all together had little effect on your routine. Even though your life is better without Jay and you don’t miss him the hurt from being cheated on lingers. Your friends and the five boys have been so kind the past few days to give you space, upon your request, to let you focus on yourself and your job. They are only a call away when you need them.
A new file has replaced it. Kai consumes your thoughts, you're reminded of him by the smallest things plus you occasionally hear him through the walls… like tonight.
Slumping into your couch, Peanut butts his head into your arm. You lazily pet him relaxing at the feel of his warm soft fur. Today was an exhausting day at work after your eventful weekend, you could fall asleep right now in your work clothes. As your eyes close you hear a distant melody playing. You open them to check the TV but realise you never turned it on. You listen closer, recognising it as a guitar. One of your neighbours must be playing music. Closing your eyes once more, you settle back down. Like lightning, a thought strikes. You jump up and cross the apartment into your bedroom squishing your ear against the wall. It’s clearer now, a gentle melody plays then the singing starts. It’s Kai. You strain to hear him, not being able to make out the words. He sounds angelic. This is way more relaxing than your couch. You slide down to sit on the floor, ear still pressed to the wall with your eyes closed. He plays through a full song, you assume, then stops. Your legs move on their own being dragged by a magnetic force and before your brain can catch up you are standing in front of his apartment knocking on the door.
He answers in his comfy black hoodie with a pair of circle glasses sitting on his nose. A small smile forms on your lips at the sight. So that’s what he looks like in glasses.
“Oh hey Y/N, come on in,” he scoots to the side to let you pass. His apartment is darker than the last time you were here. A blue glow shines out from his desk in the corner that touches the opposite side of the wall you had just been leaning on. A beautiful shiny black acoustic guitar sits waiting propped up against the desk leg.
“What brings you over tonight?” he asks, walking into the kitchen and pulling out two glasses.
“Actually… I heard you playing,” you study him noticing the way he stills for only a moment then continues searching through his fridge.
“You did? Are you here to give me a review?” he says playfully, finally selecting a bottle of Pepsi and pouring it out into the two glasses.
“You are gorgeous… at playing I mean and singing, I couldn’t quite hear the words but it was comforting,” your face flushes at your slip up. You fiddle with your fingers so you don’t have to look at him. An amused smirk appears on his face at your words and tinted cheeks.
“Thank you, I’m glad you found it comforting. I can play for you whenever you like,” he hands you the glass then takes a sip of his own.
“I might just have to come round every day then,” you giggle, a strange confidence filling you now. He lets out a breathy laugh.
“I would like that actually,” he says more seriously this time. Meeting his gaze you see the sincerity in his eyes. You knew the first time you saw him that you were in trouble. Looking at him now, you feel warmth spreading throughout your chest confirming your suspicions.
“I could play one now for you if you’d like, any requests?” he offers, sending you a radiant smile before strolling over to his guitar. Scrunching your nose, you think you’re really in trouble now. Kai is just too gorgeous.
the four times tubatu didn't realise their maknae had a real girlfriend and the one unfortunate time that they did
pairing : hueningkai x fem!reader
word count : 10.7k
warnings : hueningkai is referred to as kai, freaky moments but like its not freaky cause they just kiss ??? but the members thnk they did sm freaky and kai doesn't correc them becuase theyre kinda dumb , dumb but loving txt , reader is describe to be shorter than kai (sorry!) doesnt have to be super short jsut enough to look slightly up at him
playlist : blue by yung kai, echoes by enhypen, honeymoon avenue by kasper, roller coster by tomorrow x together , dance with you by tomorrow x together , i love u by yuni
author's note: we need to normalize calling men pet names cause wtf am i supposoed to address them as but its okay i love hueningkai hes so cutesy + wrote this instead of studying for my math exam tomorrow 〒▽〒
Kai Kamal Huening wasn’t good at hiding secrets.
It was something his sisters never let him forget—especially when he accidentally let it slip that a boy had been talking to them, right in the middle of family dinner.
Kai would only shrug in response, because it always ended the same way anyway: with him being rewarded with extra gummies for dessert.
It was a trait he had kept into adulthood, mostly because he found lying to be far too much effort.
But times had changed.
Kai had changed.
He was no longer the little boy who played the recorder while his sisters ‘traded’ his plushies for one of their uglier ones.
He was a man now—one who still played the recorder, but who also got to keep all his plushies to himself. And somehow, impossibly, he had something no one in his life ever thought he would have: a girlfriend.
Him having a girlfriend wasn’t entirely out of this world, but it was something everyone around him seemed convinced he couldn’t manage.
Maybe it was his lack of social activity.
Maybe it was his tendency to stay in his room.
Maybe it was his complete disregard for “trendy clothing.”
Regardless of all these very real factors, Kai had managed to get a girlfriend—you, to be specific.
He had met you on one of the rare occasions he decided to go on a solo trip around Seoul. Everyone else had a schedule that day: Yeonjun was busy working on his solo, Taehyun and Beomgyu were at the gym—mostly because Beomgyu was tired of being thrown around by the members—and Soobin was probably getting lectured about his lack of media training. After all, who publicly admits they can eat a watermelon in three seconds and expects the internet to forget about it?
Which left Kai all alone—and, for once, ready to go outside.
The plan was simple. Kai wanted to visit the café down the street from the HYBE building that had been temporarily converted into a Pokémon lover’s dream. While the fact that it was a manga café by design had always interested him, it wasn’t until the Pokémon theme that finally pushed him to go.
Which is exactly what he did.
Kai messaged his manager, put on his mask, and embarked on his journey.
The walk there was about as nice as a walk could get. The weather was good, his playlist was playing every song he wanted it to, and—most importantly—he hadn’t stepped in dog shit yet.
All in all, it was pretty good.
It was safe to say Kai was in a good mood when he stepped into the café.
Only for his good mood to be ruined by a sign plastered across the cashier area that read, with zero remorse: Out of Pokémon Trinkets / Merch.
Kai couldn’t help but slump in on himself.
He sighed as he checked the time on his phone. It was 3:24 in the afternoon, which meant that if he made the fourteen-minute walk back to HYBE now, he’d be stuck doing work—something he very much did not want to be doing.
Which left him with only one option: to suck it up and enjoy the ambience of the café.
It wasn’t as if he was deprived of Pokémon merchandise, or that this was his only chance. He was an idol, for crying out loud—he’d been to the Pokémon Center more times than he could count. Still, he had to admit it would’ve been fun to get something from a place just down the street from HYBE.
Kai allowed himself to wander into the café, taking in the posters plastered on the walls and the cute Pokémon-themed drink series.
He figured he should probably find something to do before ordering a drink—he didn’t want to risk juggling one hand holding a drink while the other flipped through manga, something he had learned inevitably ended with at least one item hitting the floor.
Which left him wandering into one of the aisles lined with manga. He soon found himself scanning for Gintama, a familiar favorite.
Kai walked up and down the aisle, hoping to see the familiar spine.
Kai was so focused on finding his manga that he didn’t notice he wasn’t the only one in the aisle. He didn’t realize you were only four steps away—until he walked right into you and sent your drink spilling all over his hoodie.
He looked down at his comfiest blue hoodie, now soaked in iced coffee.
“Oh—oh my gosh!” you exclaimed. “I’m so sorry!”
Kai froze, trying to understand what was happening. He watched you pull your purse forward and dig for napkins, a small smile of relief appearing once you found some. He hesitated, unsure if he should say anything as you raised the napkins toward him, silently asking if it was okay to touch his hoodie.
You were pretty, really pretty.
Which made him want to curl up in a ball and never leave his room again because the one time he did he made an absolute fool of himself in front of the prettiest girl he had ever seen.
You cleared your throat, shaking the tissues as a reminder of the situation, snapping Kai back to reality. He quickly grabbed them from your hands and started dabbing at his hoodie, employing the method Yeonjun had once taught him when he was sixteen and utterly incapable of doing laundry.
“Are you okay?” you asked.
Kai could only nod.
You nodded back.
Kai decided he was finished trying to salvage the hoodie. If the stain survived the wash, it would simply be downgraded to a pyjama hoodie rather than an outdoor one.
You held out your hand, silently gesturing for him to give the tissues back, which he did without a word.
It was then that he truly saw your face for the first time.
His heart skipped. Your mouth slowly formed an ‘o,’ and a spark of recognition lit up your eyes.
Kai couldn’t help but tense. He remembered practicing scenarios like this during media training seminars: if a fan recognizes you in public, you simply say hi, maybe sign something—but never give personal information or take pictures. Stay calm. Stay calm.
And yet, you didn’t react with excitement or demand anything. You simply closed your mouth, quietly took the tissues from him, and held them with that calm, easy grace.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s okay,” you replied.
Kai decided then and there that you were precious—because your voice sounded just as charming as you were.
The two of you stood in that aisle, quiet, each trying to think of something to say.
It was then that he noticed the orange keychain hanging from your purse—a Charmander, to be exact.
“Is that…” he cleared his throat, “the Charmander keychain from the café?”
Your eyes lit up, and Kai silently thanked the fact that his mask hid just how pink he’d gone at the sight of you.
“Yeah!” you exclaimed. “I got it last week, actually!”
You looked at him directly. “Did you get one too?”
Kai shook his head, smiling at how infectious your excitement was. “I wanted to, but they were out of all Pokémon stock by the time I got here.”
He noticed your small frown, as if you were a little disappointed he hadn’t gotten one.
Then, carefully, you unclipped the keychain from your purse. “Here,” you said, holding it out toward him.
Kai’s eyes widened. “Oh… I couldn’t take this—”
“It’s okay,” you said with a small smile. “Consider it an apology for spilling my drink on you. I mean, it’s not every day you spill something on a famous idol.”
Kai nodded, bringing his hands forward to accept the precious gift. “Are you sure?” he found himself asking.
He found himself fumbling with the keychain, looking up to see if you had seen that.
“Take it,” you insisted. “Seriously, just take it.”
He placed it in his pocket, already imagining where he would put it in his room.
Then his eyes drifted to the manga you had been holding before the incident, and he froze at the familiar spine of Gintama.
“Wait… is that Gintama?” he asked, a spark of excitement cutting through his embarrassment. “You like Gintama?”
You nodded, and just like that, the conversation fell into easy territory. The two of you traded favorite arcs and characters, Kai gesturing animatedly, completely forgetting the wet patch on his hoodie, the spilled drink, and even the passing time.
Then his phone rang, and the name on the screen made him groan: Soobin.
“Where the hell have you been?” the voice demanded, half-angry, half-panicked.
Kai shot you a glance. “Uh… just a sec,” he said, still distracted. You smiled and scribbled something on a piece of paper.
“Here,” you said, handing it to him. “You’ll probably need it for… you know, emergencies.”
He looked down. Your number. And even though his stomach did that weird fluttery thing, he couldn’t stop the grin spreading across his face.
“Right. Got it,” he said softly, tucking the paper into his pocket. “I’ll… uh, text you.”
Soobin continued whining in the background, but Kai, manga in hand and Charmander keychain safely pocketed, realized that maybe spilling his hoodie wasn’t the worst thing that could happen on a solo trip to a Pokémon-themed café.
After all, it was where he met his girlfriend.
His girlfriend, who would listen patiently while he ranted about whatever he was watching at the moment.
His girlfriend, who would sit prettily on her couch as he came over to show her something he helped create.
His girlfriend, who, over time, grew bold enough to tease him relentlessly, because in your words, “You're too pretty to not be appreciated.”
Because of you, Kai finally got to do all the “couple things” he had watched Lea gush about on the phone with her friends.
He could hug you whenever he wanted.
He could formally “adopt” plushies together with you.
He could talk about anything he wanted, knowing you’d always listen and respond.
He loved having a girlfriend.
In fact… he loved you.
He told you on your three-month anniversary.
You responded by showing him matching figurines of Plusle and Minun holding hands in a heart-shaped box you’d painted.
Was it quick? Probably.
Did the two of you care? Absolutely not.
It was on your four-month anniversary that you asked the question that made his stomach flip:
“Do your members know about us?”
He watched as you slowly lifted yourself off his chest, the two of you still sprawled on the bed, watching Team Rocket get absolutely destroyed by ten-year-olds.
He hated to admit it, but he always missed you—even if you were only ten centimetres away.
He shook his head, silently saying ‘No’.
“Why not?” you asked.
Kai opened his mouth, then closed it again. The only answer he could come up with was… weird. How do you tell the people who had practically raised you since the age of thirteen that you’re dating at twenty-three? How do you explain to the four people who had traveled the world with you, who had suffered with you, that you were no longer the kid with plushies that they had to take care of? That the kid remained a loser with plushies… but also now made out with the prettiest girl in the world every other weekend?
How do you even begin to explain that?
So all he could manage was, “It just… hasn’t come up in conversation.”
You raised an eyebrow. “And how exactly do you expect it to come up in conversation?”
Kai groaned and let his head fall back. “I don’t know!” he exclaimed dramatically, which made you giggle.
He turned to look at you, voice exasperated, “How do you tell people who’ve taken care of you—and shared diarrhea with you—that you’re suddenly dating someone?”
You made a face. “Too much information,” you muttered.
Kai shrugged. “Besides, what if they don’t like it? It’s not like I can run away from them—I’m legally required to spend the next seven years with them!”
You hummed, weighing his words. Then you moved back to your spot on his chest. “Fine,” you said, “don’t tell them—but don’t hide it from them either.”
Kai nodded.
“They’re important people in your life,” you continued, smiling down at him. “They deserve to know that we’re together.”
Kai nodded again.
You leaned up and planted a soft kiss on his lips—a kiss he gladly returned.
Regardless of his members, Kai simply loved his girlfriend.
THE FIRST TIME: WHY DO YOU HAVE HADILAO ON SPEED DIAL?
Yeonjun loved eating.
When it came to deciding the group’s archetypes, he had claimed the “foodie” title immediately—and no one argued. He would eat anything. Everything.
But he knew his limits. After three consecutive days of takeout, a hand-made meal became necessary—even if it meant risking death by Taehyun’s glare. And he knew every other member shared this belief.
Which was why he was utterly confused when he saw the maknae frantically searching for the fastest route to Haidilao from their photoshoot location.
It was a photoshoot for something—he wasn’t exactly sure what—but all Yeonjun had to do was pose and post it on Instagram. Simple enough.
And yet, there was the maknae, plotting a route to hotpot like his life depended on it.
There was nothing wrong with it. It was just… peculiar. Yeonjun could have sworn Kai had gone to Haidilao three days ago. And wasn’t he supposed to be dieting?
He narrowed his eyes at the maknae, trying to decipher the master plan.
“Hyung?” Kai’s voice broke him out of his trance.
Yeonjun blinked, looking up. “What?”
Kai shook his head, smirking. “Why are you looking at me like I drew three-dot YJ again?”
Yeonjun squinted at him. “You’re a brat, you know that, right?”
Kai simply smiled and nodded, as if this accusation was an everyday occurrence. (It was.)
Unsatisfied, Yeonjun glanced around, searching for backup.
Soobin was being debriefed by the photoshoot director about the promotion plan.
Taehyun was getting his outfit refitted—his arms having somehow grown overnight.
Beomgyu was in the makeup chair, half asleep and fully unhelpful.
Which left Yeonjun alone, forced to interrogate the maknae’s sudden devotion to hotpot by himself.
The plan commenced with a subtle shift—moving from standing in front of Kai to sitting beside him. Then leaning in, peeking over the maknae’s increasingly broad shoulder, and glancing at his phone screen.
Kai was scrolling through the Haidilao menu. Specifically, the soup bases.
“What’cha doing?” Yeonjun asked casually.
Kai flinched and immediately locked his phone.
“Nothing,” he stammered.
Yeonjun froze.
Now this was interesting. He had never seen Kai this shaken before.
“Are you sure?” he asked again.
Kai nodded—but it was far too frantic to be convincing.
“Because it looked like you were searching how to get to Haidilao from here.”
Yeonjun watched as Kai visibly slumped, like a man caught red-handed.
“I promised someone I’d eat with them there today,” Kai admitted.
Yeonjun’s curiosity sharpened immediately. Kai never mentioned meeting new people—ever.
“Who,” Yeonjun pressed, “are you planning to meet there?”
Kai muttered something under his breath and turned his head away.
Yeonjun bit back the urge to roll his eyes. Why was he suddenly this difficult?
“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun said sweetly, sarcasm dripping from every syllable, “I couldn’t hear you.”
Kai straightened, as if bracing himself, and forced eye contact with his hyung.
“My girlfriend.”
Yeonjun stared at him.
“I’m sorry—what?”
Kai sighed, turning fully toward him now, resignation written all over his face. “My girlfriend. I was trying to figure out the quickest way to get to Haidilao because I promised my girlfriend we’d eat there together.”
Yeonjun blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Did the word girlfriend just come out of Kai’s mouth?
No. It couldn’t have.
It had to be something else. A misunderstanding. A joke. A lie. A very elaborate excuse involving hotpot.
The sheer absurdity of the idea hit him all at once, and Yeonjun burst out laughing—loud enough that Beomgyu jolted awake in his makeup chair.
“What—what’s happening?” Beomgyu croaked.
Kai remained entirely unimpressed, staring at Yeonjun like this reaction was deeply offensive.
“If you wanted to go to Haidilao,” Yeonjun wheezed between laughs, “you don’t have to make up some fake girlfriend just to do it.”
Kai blinked at him.
Once.
Slowly.
And then—
“She’s not fake.”
“Sure,” Yeonjun said, very close to ruining his eye makeup from how hard he was laughing.
Kai only sighed and went back to scrolling on his phone.
It took three full minutes—and two increasingly concerned side-eyes from nearby staff—for Yeonjun to finally calm down.
“I’m so happy that the idea of me dating someone makes you want to pee your pants,” Kai said dryly, already tired of bowing apologetically to staff members who looked genuinely worried about the two of them.
Yeonjun snorted. “You know you don’t have to make up a whole fake girlfriend just to go eat hotpot.”
He pushed himself upright, having nearly folded in half during his laughing fit. “It’s okay if you don’t want to eat Taehyun’s cooking today,” he continued, reaching out to pinch his maknae’s cheeks. “I’ll tell him you got called away by the producers or something. It’s not like he’s going to murder you for skipping one healthy meal.”
Kai nodded along, deadpan, wondering if the concept of him having a girlfriend was truly that unbelievable that his members’ most logical conclusion was that he was lying just to avoid eating clean.
“Yep,” Kai said quietly. “That’s exactly what’s happening.”
Satisfied with the maknae’s answer, Yeonjun turned around and went to his phone.
Kai has a girlfriend?
Yeah right!
When Kai finally spotted you waiting in a booth, scrolling on your phone, he felt the weight of the day melt off his shoulders.
You were sitting there in one of the hoodies that existed in joint custody between the two of you, your bag resting on your lap. A Plusle keychain dangled from it—perfectly matching the Minun clipped to the belt loop of his pants.
He couldn’t help but stand there for a moment, silently debating whether he should wait for you to notice him or poke you into acknowledging his presence.
The decision was made for him the moment you realised there was a 183-centimetre shadow looming in front of you, prompting you to look up.
“You know, if you keep standing there, someone might think you’re haunting me,” you said, trying to get him to sit down.
Kai let himself slide into the seat—not across from you, but beside you.
He couldn’t help it. You were comfort personified, and why would he want a table between the two of you when he could sit right here?
He wrapped an arm around you, slowly letting himself melt into your side.
Photoshoots weren’t new to Kai, but they were always just exhausting enough to make him want to curl up into a ball afterward.
Now, he could curl up with you beside him—and that made everything better.
“Are you ready to eat?” you asked, leaning into him just as easily.
As his head slowly drooped to rest against your shoulder, Kai briefly thought that this must be what people meant when they complained about couples being disgustingly affectionate in public. Still, he couldn’t find it in himself to care if anyone was watching.
His thoughts were interrupted by a small nudge. He followed your finger to the tablet displaying the menu.
He straightened up and ordered with you, making sure both of your cravings were met. He listened as you talked about your day—about the new anime you were watching, about your friend’s upcoming birthday—and he realised he felt full in a way food had nothing to do with.
He really loved you.
When the food arrived, he made sure you ate first, even though this was the first proper meal he’d had all day.
It was halfway through feeding you your seventh bite that you asked, “So… how was the photoshoot?”
Kai made sure the chopsticks were perfectly loaded with everything you liked. “It was okay,” he said. “We filmed some TikToks—you’d probably like them. The outfits were fine.”
He lifted the chopsticks again, waiting patiently for you to open your mouth. “The only weird thing was that Yeonjun laughed at me when I told him I was meeting you here.”
You immediately choked on your food.
Kai rushed to grab a glass of water, holding it up to your lips and steadying it as you drank.
Once you finally signalled that you were okay, he set the glass down and watched you try to compose yourself.
“He—” you started. “You told him?”
Kai nodded. “Yeah. I said I was meeting my girlfriend here, and then he laughed like the Joker for twenty minutes.”
You snorted.
Then you started giggling.
Was he secretly a comedian? Why did everyone keep laughing at him?
“Well,” you said between laughs, “I guess they wouldn’t believe it even if you told them you had a girlfriend.”
He narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you saying that, in my members’ eyes, I am eternally bitchless?”
You nodded, still laughing.
“It’s okay,” you said, finally calming down. “I’ll still be with you—even if the entire world thinks you can’t pull.”
Kai couldn’t help but smile, because he knew the same thing.
No matter what anyone said, he’d choose you every single time.
THE SECOND TIME : SINCE WHEN WERE YOU INTO SHOUJO ANIME?
Soobin practically knew everything about Kai.
He knew his likes and his dislikes. He knew which of Kai’s many plushies was his favourite. He knew the small, subconscious habits Kai carried without realising—things Soobin had memorised over years of shared dorms and overlapping schedules.
Which was why this felt wrong.
Maybe it was because they’d been busy lately—the new comeback, the sudden surge of solo schedules, or simply the lack of proper one-on-one time—but Soobin never imagined walking into the living room to find Kai willingly watching Kimi no Todoke.
For fun.
Not ironically. Not because someone else had it on. Not because he’d lost a bet.
No—Kai was curled up on the couch, eyes glued to the screen, fully immersed as Sawako awkwardly fumbled through her feelings.
Soobin stopped walking.
He stared.
Since when was Huening Kai into shoujo anime?
Soobin knew Kai had been trying to get more into anime lately—but he distinctly remembered nineteen-year-old Kai declaring that he would rather get abs than watch shoujo.
Soobin blinked, needing to confirm whether what he was witnessing was real or simply the result of his horrible sleeping habits finally catching up to him.
He closed his eyes.
He opened them again.
Kai was still there. Still watching Kimi no Todoke. Still wearing an expression of genuine focus that couldn’t possibly be faked.
Soobin couldn’t help himself.
“What the hell are you watching?”
Kai flinched, whipping his head around to find Soobin standing behind him.
Soobin slowly raised a hand and pointed at the TV. “Want to explain this?”
Kai tilted his head, genuinely confused. “Hyung, you’ve known I watch anime. Why is this weird?”
Soobin did a double take.
Why was this weird?
Oh. Right.
“Are we looking at the same thing right now?”
Kai turned back to the screen and paused the episode, then patted the space beside him, gesturing for Soobin to sit. “Do you want some water?” he added seriously. “Maybe all those media training lectures messed with your head.”
Soobin gaped at the maknae—yet somehow still found himself sitting down moments later, a newly acquired glass of water resting in his hand.
Kai turned to face his leader, a blanket draped over his lap and his comfiest hoodie pulled on, looking painfully at ease.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
Soobin searched for the right words. “Why?”
Kai tilted his head. “Why what?”
“Why are you watching—” Soobin gestured vaguely toward the TV, fingers flailing, “this.”
Soobin nodded slowly, as if that explanation made sense.
It didn’t.
“But you said you’d rather get abs than watch a school romance,” Soobin shot back.
Kai chuckled at the reminder. “I did,” he said, then gestured vaguely to his body. “But, uh—look at what happened to me.”
Soobin stared.
Abs were one thing. This? This was slander.
His brain began to whir. Loudly.
This wasn’t the Kai he knew. The Kai he raised. The Kai who once abandoned a drama five minutes in because ‘why are they staring at each other for so long?’
He looked at the screen again. Sawako was blushing.
Kai was smiling.
Oh no.
He’s changed, Soobin thought, dread curling in his stomach. Someone did this to him.
Slowly, carefully—like he was approaching a wild animal—Soobin leaned forward.
“Kai,” he said quietly. Dangerously calm.
Kai hummed, eyes still fixed on the paused screen.
“Who,” Soobin continued, pointing once at the TV, then very deliberately at Kai, “made you do this?”
Kai finally looked at him. Blinked. “…Hyung?”
“C’mon,” Soobin said. “You mean to tell me that all of a sudden, you’re changing your personality.”
“Personality?” Kai shot back. “I’m watching one anime and now you’re saying my entire DNA has changed?”
Soobin nodded. “Exactly. So what’s happening?”
Kai sighed, already knowing his hyung wouldn’t let this go. “You want the truth?”
Soobin nodded.
Kai exhaled. “My girlfriend told me it was good, so I decided to watch it.”
Soobin stared at his maknae.
Kai stared back at his leader.
“Girlfriend?” Soobin echoed.
Kai nodded, like this was the most normal sentence he’d ever said.
Soobin stared at the boy he’d known since he was fifteen—the kid he’d practically raised. He lifted a hand and pointed straight at him. “Girlfriend?”
Kai nodded again. Still calm. Still normal.
Too normal.
Which could only mean one thing.
Kai was lying.
A big, fat liar.
Soobin blinked. “You know,” he said carefully, “it’s okay to admit your tastes have evolved.”
Kai frowned. “What?”
“You don’t have to make up a girlfriend for it.”
Soobin watched as Kai closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out a long sigh.
“You’re telling me,” Kai said, locking eyes with him, “that just because I said I have a girlfriend, you think I’m making up an excuse to watch a romance anime?”
Soobin nodded—completely serious.
Kai pursed his lips. “You’re right,” he surrendered. “You’re absolutely right.”
Soobin nodded, satisfied with the explanation he’d decided on for Kai.
“Go on,” he said, leaning back with his arms crossed. “Have fun watching Kimi no Todoke.”
Kai opened his mouth to retort, then thought better of it, allowing Soobin his moment of victory.
Soobin settled back into the couch, proud of the conclusion he’d reached.
Kai can’t have a girlfriend, he decided firmly. He’s just getting introduced to girls.
Kai’s favourite part of the days when he couldn’t see you was when he got to call you.
It was always late at night, after he’d settled into his room and made sure he’d said goodnight to all the members. He would send you a simple message—something like i’m free ~ —and then go about his nighttime routine, already anticipating the sound of your voice.
Sometimes you called while he was still in the shower, and he would speedrun through it just to call you back as soon as possible. Other times, you’d call when he was halfway through skincare, and the two of you would talk about your days while Kai carefully applied one of the Pokémon face masks you’d insisted on buying him.
To him, these calls were peace.
Relaxation.
The thing that made long, exhausting days at the company feel worth it.
And he knew that for you, they were a break too—a pause from daily stress, from everything that weighed on you.
Maybe that was why he cherished these calls just as much as he cherished seeing you in person. Because when the two of you were talking through a screen, it felt like your own small world— one that couldn’t be disturbed in the slightest.
Tonight’s call came while he was finishing his skincare. He’d already said goodnight to the members after eating Taehyun’s homemade food—the same food he’d missed earlier when he’d gone to Haidilao to meet you.
He accepted the call and smiled immediately when your face appeared on the screen. It looked like you were just starting your own nighttime routine.
The conversation began the way it always did: small, simple questions.
How was your day? Did you eat? Are you tired?
But they were never small between the two of you.
Kai genuinely wanted to know everything you’d done, and he knew you loved hearing about the tiny moments that made his day special.
Tonight’s main story?
Soobin questioning him over watching Kimi no Todoke—and then outright refusing to believe him when he told the truth.
It sounded ridiculous when Kai said it out loud. But the way you reacted, laughing softly into your hand, made it worth it.
As much as he loved the sound, Kai couldn’t stop the pout that formed on his lips.
“Why do all the members think there’s no possible way for me to get a girlfriend?” he complained.
Your laughter slowly faded.
“Maybe,” you said gently, “it’s because you’re always their baby who hates romance?”
Kai let out a noise somewhere between a scoff and a sulk. “But it’s not funny anymore.”
You tried—and failed—to contain another quiet laugh.
“Imagine if you give them our wedding invitations and they still don’t believe you.”
Kai looked horrified at the thought.
“No!” he exclaimed, face-palming as he pulled his blankets up and over himself like they could shield him from the idea.
That finally set you off, but when the laughter faded, Kai found himself just watching you—your smile warm and fond in a way that made his chest ache.
“It’s okay,” you said softly. “That just means when they finally do figure it out, it’ll be even funnier.”
That was something Kai could agree on.
It went quiet for a moment. Comfortable. Unrushed.
And before he could stop himself, he said, “I miss you.”
You shifted in bed, getting more comfortable before smiling back at him.
“I miss you too, bubba.”
Kai wrinkled his nose. “Bubba?”
You nodded. “It’s cute.” You leaned your head against your hand. “Like you.”
As much as Kai wanted to argue that you were much cuter, his cheeks were already turning pink.
“Shut up,” he mumbled weakly.
Your small laugh echoed through his headphones.
“I love you.”
Kai muttered the words back, quieter—but no less certain.
He really wouldn’t mind being married to you.
THE THIRD TIME: DID THE GHOST OF SHAKESPHERE POSSESS YOU?
Beomgyu had always admired Kai.
From the moment he learned that the group’s maknae had originally come to the company to produce—not sing, not dance—Beomgyu found himself genuinely impressed by the thirteen-year-old trainee. It wasn’t just talent. It was instinct. Kai heard music differently.
Whenever it came time to write lyrics or build a track, Beomgyu gravitated toward him without thinking. Beats, melodies, second opinions—Kai was always the one he trusted. The one who listened carefully before speaking. The one whose feedback actually made things better.
So when the producers suggested that the two in-house producers of the group sit together to brainstorm for the new album, Beomgyu didn’t hesitate.
He already had expectations.
Kai would write about friendship.
Or youth.
Or chasing dreams with that soft sincerity he was known for.
What Beomgyu did not expect—
Was a romance song.
And not even the safe kind. Not a vague, abstract I like you from afar track that could be brushed off as fanservice or metaphor.
No.
Kai wanted to write about wanting to dance with someone.
The lyrics he showed Beomgyu made him think Kai might want to do more than just dance.
Beomgyu stared at the lyric sheet in silence.
Then, slowly, he looked up.
“…Who possessed you?”
He stared at the maknae—who stared back at him with wide eyes.
“What do you mean?” Kai asked.
Beomgyu looked back down at the paper, skimming over lines like this long, sweet dance that can’t be done alone.
He blinked.
“When did the ghost of Shakespeare possess you?”
Kai frowned. “I don’t follow.”
Beomgyu gestured at the lyric sheet.
“What made you write—” he paused, repressing both a shiver and a gag, “—sensual stuff?”
His face twisted. “Sensual stuff?” he repeated, like the word physically hurt.
Kai frowned—not offended. Just… confused. Genuinely so.
“What’s wrong with it?” he asked.
Beomgyu froze.
That was worse than denial. Worse than embarrassment.
That was indifference.
The maknae was absolutely indifferent to the fact that he had written something meant to be sung to someone.
“Kai,” Beomgyu said carefully, “you don’t just accidentally write lines like this long, sweet dance that can’t be done alone.”
Kai shrugged, rolling his chair a little closer to the desk. “It’s just honest.”
Beomgyu’s eye twitched.
“Honest.”
“Yeah,” Kai said, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Dancing isn’t just moving. It’s timing. Trust. You have to listen to the other person. You can’t rush it—and you can’t do it by yourself.”
He spoke gently. Thoughtfully.
Like he’d rehearsed this explanation long before Beomgyu ever asked.
Beomgyu stared.
This wasn’t poetic nonsense.
This was a thesis.
“So,” Kai continued, eyes flicking briefly back to the lyric sheet, “I wanted it to feel close. Like you’re aware of every step the other person takes.”
Silence.
Beomgyu’s brain began to short-circuit.
“…You’re aware,” he said slowly, “that this is a love song.”
Kai nodded. “Yeah.”
Immediate. No hesitation.
Beomgyu swallowed.
“And you’re aware,” he pressed, “that this is supposed to be hypothetical.”
Kai tilted his head. “But it’s not?”
Oh.
Beomgyu looked at him again—really looked this time. The calm posture. The steady tone. The lack of deflection. No jokes. No embarrassment.
“…Who,” Beomgyu asked quietly, “are you dancing with?”
Kai blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Then his ears turned red.
Something in Beomgyu’s soul cracked.
“Kai,” he whispered, pointing accusingly, “don’t you dare tell me this is about a real person.”
Kai shrugged, turning back to the soundboard and fiddling with a beat.
“God forbid a man wants to write a song about dancing with his girlfriend.”
Beomgyu blinked at him.
Girlfriend?
“…And by girlfriend, you mean a really hot actress, right?”
Kai turned around, eyes wide.
“Why would I lie about having a girlfriend?”
Beomgyu scoffed. “When would you ever leave your room long enough to get a girlfriend?”
Kai nodded slowly—less in agreement and more because he was still processing the audacity of that statement.
Beomgyu, meanwhile, seemed perfectly satisfied with his conclusion. He leaned forward and grabbed Kai by the shoulders.
“So,” he said teasingly, eyes sparkling, “care to tell me which actress made you want to finally become a man?”
Kai grimaced. “That’s gross, hyung.”
Beomgyu gasped, recoiling like he’d been personally offended.
“You’re disgusting! I didn’t mean it like that,” he protested, then pointed accusingly at Kai. “I just wanted to know what made you want to be all sensual,” he sang, dragging the word out obnoxiously.
“She’s not an actress!” Kai exclaimed.
Beomgyu clutched his chest and gasped once more.
“Is it one of our sunbaes?”
Kai opened his mouth to defend himself—but nothing came out.
“Is that why you want to dance with them?” Beomgyu giggled, a new theory forming mid-sentence. “Is it because you want a collaboration?”
Kai sighed and nodded along.
“Sure,” he said, patting Beomgyu as the older boy laughed himself silly. “Whatever floats your boat, hyung.”
Beomgyu continued to giggle.
The maknae having a girlfriend before him?
As if.
No matter how many times TXT released new music, it never stopped being nerve-wracking for Kai.
Questions always raced through his head—what if the fans didn’t like it? What if the directors butchered the music video? What if the company uploaded the wrong file and the wrong video went live?
Release day always left his stomach twisted into knots.
Today was no different.
If anything, it was worse.
Today was the day you would watch—and listen to—Dance With You for the first time.
Kai paced back and forth across your apartment, hands running through his hair, stopping only to glance at your laptop every few seconds as you refreshed the page again and again. Meanwhile, you just watched him with quiet amusement, unfazed by his spiraling energy.
“It’s okay,” you called out gently.
And the practical part of his brain agreed. It was fine. Totally fine.
It’s not like he’d written a song about you.
Not like it was basically dedicated to you.
And it’s not like this was your first time hearing it, considering the song had been out for weeks—weeks you’d spent waiting only because he’d begged you not to listen until the music video dropped.
Really. No big deal at all.
Then he heard you gasp.
Kai snapped his head toward you just in time to see you click on the thumbnail—him, mid-dance, holding a mop.
He physically cringed.
What if you hated it?
What if you hated seeing him like this—more grown, more intentional, more romantic?
Oh my god… what if you broke up with him because you thought he was getting too close with a mop?
The thought was ridiculous. Completely irrational.
And yet Kai suddenly became very afraid that, in some distant future, he’d be remembered only as the ex who danced with cleaning supplies—a cautionary tale you’d tell on dates because you hated the music video that much.
Kai was so consumed by his panic that he completely missed watching your reactions. It wasn’t until your voice cut through his thoughts with a weary, “Kai?” that he snapped back into reality.
“Yes?” he answered too quickly, silently begging his stomach to keep down the egg and toast he’d forced himself to eat that morning.
You were looking at him—not at the screen, not at the paused video, but at him. There was something in your expression that made his chest tighten, something Kai could only describe as awe.
He swallowed hard, pushing down the lump forming in his throat.
“…Did you like it?” he asked quietly, almost meekly.
You held your hands out to him, and when he placed his in yours, you gently tugged him down until he was sitting beside you.
“Like it?” you echoed, disbelief woven into your voice. “Sweetheart, I loved it.”
Kai felt his body finally relax, like everything snapping back into its proper place. “Really?”
You nodded without hesitation. “What’s not to like?”
You reached for the laptop, replaying the music video as you continued, “My boyfriend looking all pretty and handsome on screen, showing the whole world that he’s capable of incredible things.”
A small giggle slipped out of Kai before he could stop it, warmth blooming in his chest as he let himself soak in the praise.
He shifted closer, eventually settling into your lap, eyes fluttering shut as your hand instinctively moved to run through his hair.
“Did you read the lyrics yet?” he asked softly.
You shook your head. “Considering I heard the song for the first time, like, seven minutes ago? I don’t think I’ve had time to properly digest the lyrics you wrote.”
“Well, you should,” he said, almost sheepishly. “They made Beomgyu think I’m crushing on a sunbae.”
You snorted. “What?”
He nodded seriously. “He read the lyrics and straight-up refused to believe I’m capable of writing about girls.”
You laughed, already following his logic. “Another girlfriend reveal gone wrong?”
Kai hummed in agreement. “It’s obvious too. I’m not even hiding you from them anymore, and they still don’t believe me when I tell them.”
He glanced up at you as you tried to think of a solution.
“Maybe they’d believe it if they saw it?” you offered.
Kai considered that. You weren’t wrong—but a small, anxious part of him worried they’d just ask if he’d hired you as an actress.
“I’ll think about it,” he said instead.
Which, in Kai-speak, really meant: I don’t want to think about this right now, but I’ll file it away as a potential Plan B.
You resumed playing with his hair, fingers gentle and familiar. “Hey, Bubba?” you asked softly.
He looked up, expecting a question.
Instead, you kissed him.
He melted into it immediately, relaxing as he pressed his lips back against yours. When you pulled away moments later, you stayed close, your words barely a whisper against his mouth.
“I would love to dance with you.”
Kai kissed you again without hesitation, heart swelling in his chest.
And as he held you there, he couldn’t help but think that he’d dance with you every day—every lifetime—if he could.
THE FOURTH TIME : IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE ABS?
Taehyun knew he was very different from Kai.
Taehyun hated being called cute.
Kai embraced it.
Taehyun hated watching romance.
Kai was—apparently—getting into it.
Taehyun didn’t mind showing skin.
Kai avoided it as much as he possibly could.
But Kai had been Taehyun’s first friend on the team.
One of the people closest to him.
Taehyun listened. He always did. He would sit beside Kai and let him talk—about his day, about melodies stuck in his head, about ideas for projects that never quite left his thoughts. Taehyun didn’t interrupt. He didn’t rush him. He just stayed.
Which led to another realisation, another difference between them.
Taehyun loved working out.
Kai would rather do just about anything else than step into a gym.
Which was why Taehyun found himself surprised— and, admittedly, a little scared— when Kai asked if he could help him get abs.
Taehyun had agreed.
That decision led to a two-hour session at the HYBE gym, where Taehyun spotted the maknae and discovered—much to his disbelief—that Kai was putting in a full, unwavering one hundred percent effort. No complaints. No excuses. Just stubborn focus and slightly shaky arms.
That alone was alarming.
It wasn’t until after the workout that Taehyun decided he needed answers.
They were seated at the HYBE café, taking full advantage of the free food benefit they earned by metaphorically breaking their backs for the company. Taehyun watched as Kai ordered his usual mango drink— then added one scoop of protein powder.
As if that single scoop made all the difference in the world.
Taehyun cleared his throat.
“So,” he began carefully, “what exactly made you want to get—” he paused, searching for the least awkward word possible, “—abs?”
Across from him, Kai slurped his mango concoction thoughtfully, eyes unfocused as he considered the question.
Taehyun waited.
This better be good.
Kai blinked. “Well… we had them for Love Language, so I thought I should keep them.”
Taehyun nodded slowly, not fully buying it.
“If I remember correctly,” he said, “you were always the first person to leave the gym the second the trainer said you were good to go.”
Kai hummed in response, leaning forward to take a bite of the egg tart he’d grabbed.
“So?” Taehyun pressed, crossing his arms.
Kai finished chewing and let out a sigh.
A deep sigh.
That immediately worried Taehyun.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Kai said quietly.
Taehyun’s mind started racing.
What does he mean I wouldn’t understand?
He ran through every possibility—every reason Kai might suddenly change one of his most fundamental habits.
“…Are you getting hate comments about your body again?”
Kai’s eyes widened. “What? No.”
Taehyun raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”
Kai nodded. “I mean, I probably am. But I’m not reading them anymore.”
Taehyun looked down at the table and let out a small, relieved sigh.
Okay. Not that.
So what else?
He cleared his throat again. “Then what is it that I won’t believe?”
Kai took another sip of his drink.
Taehyun watched closely, silently praying that two hours at the gym hadn’t just gone to waste on a mango drink with a conscience.
Kai cleared his throat. “Well,” he trailed off, “my girlfriend really liked my abs during Love Language, so I thought I should try to keep them.”
Taehyun blinked.
Then rubbed his ear, just to be sure.
“I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing it again, “can you repeat that?”
Kai looked like he was used to this. He slumped further into his seat.
“I’m trying to keep my abs because my girlfriend likes them.”
Taehyun stared straight into Kai’s eyes, searching desperately for a hint of humor.
There was none.
Which meant this had to be something else.
“You don’t have to use a girlfriend as an excuse to better yourself,” Taehyun said gently.
That had to be it. He must be embarrassed—starting now, when everyone else had been working out for years.
Kai looked exasperated. “What exactly are you talking about?”
Taehyun continued, “I understand that everyone around us has always pushed us to be fit, and you never listened—which was completely fine, because you looked great without the muscle.” He paused, meeting Kai’s eyes. “But you don’t have to be embarrassed to admit you want to improve yourself now.”
Kai stared at him.
Then leaned forward, rested his arms on the table, and took another sip of his drink.
“Sure, hyung,” he said dryly. “You caught me. I’m using a fake girlfriend as an excuse to get abs so I can keep watching anime and gaming in my room—but with abs.”
Taehyun nodded, satisfied.
“That makes sense,” he said. “I mean—whose love language is abs?”
Kai stared at him blankly. “Yeah,” he said flatly. “So weird.”
Taehyun opened his mouth to comment on the tone when his phone rang—a reminder for an interview he had to film alongside Yeonjun.
He stood, holding the phone up to Kai, who waved him off casually.
Taehyun walked down the hallway toward the makeup room, already shaking his head.
The maknae having a girlfriend?
There was absolutely no way.
When Kai was training, he always kept a small emotional-support plushie with him.
It wasn’t separation anxiety—he swapped them out often.
It wasn’t to stand out or earn points with the producers during training sessions, like some of the other trainees tried to do.
He simply liked having something small and soft nearby. A reminder that even when things felt overwhelming or bleak, there were still gentle, cute things in the world.
People teased him for it.
His sisters teased him.
His members teased him too.
But he always knew it came from a place of fondness, so he never took it to heart. It became just another thing about him—something he accepted with a shrug and a smile.
Which was why his heart had started beating faster when, during a video call, you noticed the plushies in the background.
And instead of commenting on how many there were, you asked if they all had names.
And stories.
You were the first person in his life who didn’t treat his plushies like something to laugh at—but like something that mattered.
What made it even better was that you had your own collection. A stash of stuffed animals you clearly adored just as much.
At the time, it felt like a small detail. Cute. Insignificant.
Later, it became something else entirely.
Something affectionately referred to as “ the co-parenting practice”.
This happened every two to three weeks.
The two of you would meet—usually at your place—and spend a few quiet hours together before exchanging plushies, so that you each left with a small piece of the other.
This week was no different.
In Kai’s hands was a Tuxedo Sam plushie you had given him, tucked carefully alongside the strawberry Molang plushie he planned to give you in return.
But that wasn’t all he was carrying.
In his bag were three of his comfiest hoodies—chosen specifically because, just the other day, you had complained about how the women’s section never stocked properly oversized fits.
Kai wasn’t stupid. He had watched enough dramas to know that this was a thing—something you were supposed to do. Give someone your hoodies. Let them steal your warmth.
So he had spent a full ninety minutes standing in front of his closet, narrowing it down to his top three. He picked his favourite cologne, sprayed each hoodie lightly, then folded them neatly into the bag, placing the plushies on top like they were guarding them.
And somewhere between zipping the bag shut and slinging it over his shoulder, it hit him.
This—this—was what love meant.
Because he knew, without a doubt, that he would never do this for anyone else.
He quickly unlocked the door to his apartment and let himself in, immediately kicking off his shoes and hanging his jacket and mask on the designated hook you kept just for him.
He set his bag at the foot of the couch before heading to the kitchen to find you. Instead of greeting you properly, he opted to surprise you with a hug.
He couldn’t hide his smile when you flinched at the sudden contact.
“You know I could’ve kicked you,” you said, even as you melted into his embrace.
“Yeah,” Kai agreed easily, “but then you wouldn’t be able to hug me, and you’d feel bad.”
You stopped stirring the pasta and turned to face him. “Well, that would be too bad, wouldn’t it.”
He smiled down at you. “Hi,” he whispered.
“Hi,” you smiled back.
“Are you ready for the exchange?” he asked, already looking forward to carrying another piece of you with him.
You nodded, placing a lid on the pot.
“Smells delicious, by the way,” Kai added as he followed you into the living room.
The exchange went on as it always did—soft smiles, familiar movements, comforting habits. In return for his Squirtle plushie, he received a bread plush with a tiny bow tie, accompanied by your quiet remark that it reminded you of him.
He, in turn, excitedly handed you the Molang plushie, which you immediately cooed over, praising how cute it was.
You were just as overjoyed with his hoodie selection, admitting that you’d been eyeing his closet for a long time. Kai felt his heart warm as he helped you pull them on, one by one.
The meal that followed was delicious. Because of you, he had learned how amazing it was to eat something homemade—something not packaged or ordered. He would happily eat your cooking no matter the consequences.
It was only when it came time to say goodbye that Kai found himself truly grateful for the arrangement the two of you had started. He couldn’t imagine not doing this with you.
He lingered in your doorway, procrastinating putting his jacket and shoes back on.
“One more hug,” he pleaded, making small grabby hands in your direction.
You smiled. “I’ve been hugging you all day.”
“That’s different,” he argued. “This is my goodbye hug.”
You played along. “You’re right. It would be unjust to let you go without one.”
He opened his arms, already accepting you the moment you stepped into his space.
You shifted slightly in his embrace. He didn’t think much of it—until your voice came out muffled against his sweatshirt.
“Have you been working out?”
He nodded, arms still wrapped around you. “You said you liked my abs, and I figured… if you liked them, I might as well try to keep them a little longer.”
You looked up at him. “You know you don’t have to.”
He hummed in agreement. “I know. But it’s for you—and it’s not a big deal either.”
“Are you sure?” you asked.
He smiled and nodded, pulling you even closer.
“It even let me tell Taehyun about you,” he added after a moment, loosening his hold just enough to let you breathe.
“Did he believe you?” you asked.
“No,” Kai said, a little dejected.
You giggled. “You’d think he’d be the one to figure it out.”
“You’d think,” Kai sighed, finally moving to put his shoes on.
“It’s okay,” you said, handing him his jacket. “We’ll tell them together?”
He nodded, slipping it on and grabbing the bag that held his children—read: plushies.
He paused, looking at you. “One more hug before I leave?”
You smiled and indulged him.
Kai decided he wouldn’t mind staying in your embrace forever.
THE ONE TIME : WHY WERE YOUR LIPS MOVING LIKE THAT ?
Kai decided that everyone around him was, frankly, dumb.
There was no other explanation. No universe in which four grown men could repeatedly fail to comprehend the very simple fact that he had a girlfriend—especially when he had spelled it out for them. Slowly. Clearly. Multiple times.
And yet.
They accused him of having everything but a girlfriend and moved on as if it never happened.
Which was why Kai decided it was time to test their cognitive skills.
By inviting you to the dorm.
The plan was simple. He’d call you over, the two of you would hang out in his room, and that would be that. Undeniable proof. Visual confirmation. Case closed.
It started well enough. Despite everyone having the day off, the dorm’s common areas were eerily empty, which made it easy for Kai to sneak you inside and coax you down the hallway to his room without running into anyone.
He’d planned the afternoon meticulously. Snacks were arranged neatly on his desk. His laptop was fully charged. His bed had been transformed into the coziest possible setup—plushies piled high, hoodies layered over the mattress for extra comfort. He was nothing if not prepared.
And honestly? The day went well.
It was a little awkward at first—Kai adjusting to the reality of having a girl in his room, you adjusting to the fact that you were in your boyfriend’s room—but somewhere between the soft giggles, the easy conversation, and eventually curling up together on his bed, the nerves melted away.
Two hours slipped by without either of you noticing.
You talked. You scrolled on your phones in companionable silence. Eventually, you settled in properly, choosing My Neighbour Totoro—a mutual favorite—and letting the movie play as you cozied closer together.
At some point during the film, Kai realized he had stopped paying attention entirely.
Totoro moved across the screen, the gentle music swelling and fading, but Kai couldn’t tell you what was happening anymore. His attention had drifted—quietly, naturally—away from the movie and onto you.
You were tucked into his side, knees drawn up slightly, your head resting against his shoulder like it belonged there. One of his hoodies swallowed you whole, sleeves covering your hands, fabric bunching up around your neck. Every now and then, you shifted closer without thinking, chasing warmth.
Kai swallowed.
He told himself to look back at the screen. He really did. But then you laughed softly at something—barely louder than a breath—and the sound settled right into his chest.
He glanced down.
Bad idea.
Your face was relaxed, eyes reflecting the soft glow of the screen, lips slightly parted in concentration. Kai felt something twist low in his stomach, unfamiliar and dizzying. He adjusted his arm around you, intending only to get comfortable.
Instead, you leaned into the touch.
Your head tipped just enough for your cheek to brush his collarbone, and Kai froze. His heart began to race, loud enough that he was convinced you could hear it. He held his breath, waiting to see if you’d pull away.
You didn’t.
Minutes passed. Or seconds. Kai wasn’t sure anymore. The space between your faces felt suddenly noticeable—charged in a way that made his palms sweat. He could feel your breathing, slow and steady, syncing with his own despite his best efforts to stay calm.
You tilted your head up slightly, eyes flicking from the screen to his face.
“Kai?” you murmured, barely audible over the movie.
“Yeah?” His voice came out softer than he intended.
“I think you stopped watching,” you said, a small smile tugging at your lips.
He huffed out a quiet, nervous laugh. “I think I did.”
Your gaze lingered. Too long to be accidental. The air between you felt heavy, expectant, like it was waiting for something to happen.
Kai leaned in before he could overthink it.
Slowly. Carefully. Giving you time to pull away.
You didn’t.
Instead, you met him halfway.
The kiss was gentle—soft and hesitant, like the two of you were still figuring out how to exist in this moment. Your lips fit against his in a way that made his thoughts scatter completely, warmth blooming through his chest.
Someone on-screen said something profound.
Neither of you noticed.
The kiss lingered.
At first, neither of you moved—like you were both waiting to see if the moment would disappear if you shifted even slightly. Kai’s lips stayed against yours, warm and careful, his breath shallow. He could feel the way your hands tightened just a little in the fabric of his hoodie, like you were anchoring yourself there.
Then you leaned in again.
Just a fraction closer. Just enough.
Kai followed instinctively this time, his hand sliding from where it rested awkwardly at your side to your waist, fingers curling into the oversized hoodie. The movement was slow, almost shy, like he was asking permission with every inch.
Your lips parted slightly, and his heart stuttered.
The kiss deepened—not suddenly, not dramatically—but naturally, like it had always been meant to get here. It was still gentle, still sweet, but warmer now. More intentional. Kai tilted his head, kissing you again, softer this time, slower, like he was trying to memorize the feeling.
He pulled back just enough for his forehead to rest against yours.
You were close enough that he could feel your breath, hear the tiny sound you made when you inhaled.
“Sorry,” he whispered instinctively, even though he didn’t know what he was apologizing for.
You smiled, brushing your nose against his. “Don’t be.”
That was all it took.
Kai kissed you again, a little more confident now, his thumb moving absentmindedly at your waist. The world outside his room—practice, schedules, his members, the whole ridiculous plan—felt impossibly far away.
Right now, it was just this.
You. Him. The quiet glow of the movie still playing, completely forgotten.
And for the first time since inviting you over, Kai thought distantly:
Yeah. This was a really good idea.
…Which was, unfortunately, exactly what happened.
Somewhere between kissing you and getting completely lost in it, Kai failed to register the footsteps outside his door. He didn’t notice the handle turning. Didn’t hear the door creak open. Didn’t even process Beomgyu’s voice starting to say something about practice being moved to today.
Not until the scream.
It was loud. Sharp. Horrified.
Kai froze.
Time stalled in the worst way possible—his lips still barely parted, his hand still at your waist, the world crashing back into place all at once.
Kai broke the kiss and looked down at you, trying to make sure you were okay. He was about to ask when another scream tore from Beomgyu.
“Can you stop screaming, hyung?” Kai said, annoyance creeping into his voice.
Beomgyu just stared, eyes wide. “You—” He pointed a trembling finger at Kai. “What the hell were your lips doing?”
Kai opened his mouth to retort—but was interrupted as Yeonjun appeared, dragging a half-asleep Soobin behind him.
“What happened?” Yeonjun asked, out of breath.
His gaze followed Beomgyu’s finger, landing on Kai… and you… in his bed. His eyes widened, and he dragged Soobin closer to see for himself.
The two eldest gulped, then simultaneously turned to Kai. “She’s real,” they said at the exact same time.
Eerie, Kai thought.
Then Taehyun appeared, peeked inside—and Kai watched the most unfazed member of the group’s jaw drop.
He was about to speak, but Soobin cleared his throat before he could.
“Group meeting… in the living room. Now.” His leader's tone made it clear this was going to be serious.
Soobin then turned to you. “You… should also come,” he stammered, clearly untrained in handling the concept of a girl in the maknae’s room.
Soobin quickly dragged the members to the living room, muttering something about “letting the youngest get a decent—” The words sounded pained as they left his mouth.
Kai wanted to yell back that nothing inappropriate was happening, but he quickly realized that wouldn’t mean anything to them.
He turned to face you, bracing for shock or awkwardness—emotions he knew he’d beat himself up for causing. Instead, he found your face carefully composed, trying—and failing—to suppress a laugh.
You let out a small burst of laughter. “Well, I guess they know now.”
Kai relaxed slightly. “I guess they do.”
You turned to him, smiling. “Shall we go?”
Kai nodded, helping you out of the cozy nest of his bed and holding your hand as you stood.
He led you to the living room, where his four older members were whispering and pointing at each other, clearly in the middle of a heated debate.
Kai cleared his throat, catching everyone’s attention. “Hello,” he said, bowing slightly as if this were some formal interview. He held up your joined hands. “This is my girlfriend.”
You smiled, raising your free hand to wave. “It’s so nice to meet you! I’ve heard so many things about you.”
The four boys stared at you as if you were a unicorn.
“You're real?” Beomgyu asked.
You nodded, “I would hope so,”
Soobin snapped back into reality.
“Sit,” he gestured to the couple that he could barely make eye contact with.
Kai let you sit down and settle first before sitting beside you.
Yeonjun cleared his throat, “You weren’t lying when you said you were going to Hadilao to see your girlfriend?”
Kai nodded.
Soobin chimed in, “And you were watching Kimi No Todoke because she wanted you to watch it?”
Kai nodded again.
Beomgyu looked Kai in the eye, “To be clear, you wrote Dance with You for her?”
Kai pursed his lips and nodded, remembering all the glances Beomfyu would give him any time they would pass a female sunbae.
Taehyun stared at him, “You were training to get abs because of her?”
Kai let out a hum of agreement.
A collective ‘oh’ let out by the group.
Beomgyu turned back to you, eyes wide. “So… she’s real. And he’s… yours?” His voice trembled slightly, as if this revelation were too big to process.
Kai, unfazed, simply nodded and gave your hand a small squeeze. “Yep. All hers.”
The room went silent for a moment, each member letting the information sink in. Then, almost simultaneously, Yeonjun and Beomgyu groaned in unison.
“This is so embarrassing for him,” Beomgyu muttered.
“And for us!” Yeonjun added, throwing his head back dramatically.
Soobin finally broke the silence, sighing heavily. “Alright. New rule: no more accidental walk-ins. And Kai… maybe give us a heads-up before your ‘romance escapades’ escalate again.”
Kai’s ears turned red. “That’s not what was happening!”
Beomgyu shook his head, pointing a finger at him. “No, that was exactly what was happening. I’m the one who had the misfortune of watching.”
Kai opened his mouth to argue, but was interrupted by Taehyun, who leaned forward with an unexpectedly serious expression. “Are you… happy with each other?”
You blinked, taken off guard by the sudden shift in mood. Clearing your throat, you smiled softly. “Yeah… I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been when I’m with Kai.”
Kai’s chest fluttered. He leaned forward and pressed a small, tender kiss onto your intertwined hands.
Then came the gagging noises.
Kai didn’t care.
Because no matter what the world—or his members—thought, he was very much in love with his (very much real!) girlfriend.
synopsis: With the Yule Ball fast approaching, Beomgyu enlists you—his best friend—as his wingman in a bold plan to win over Kim Chaewon, the school’s golden girl. In return, he promises to find you the perfect date, sparking a ridiculous series of interviews.
Meanwhile, you’re quietly drawn to Kai, a reserved Hufflepuff whose tutoring sessions slowly unravel something unexpected between you. But as your connection with Kai grows and Beomgyu edges closer to asking Chaewon out, something unspoken begins to shift between the two of you—just in time to make everything so fucking complicated.
pairing: gryffindor bestfriend!Beomgyu x gryffindor fem!reader, hufflepuff!Kai x gryffindor fem!reader
a/n: omgg ive always wanted to write a hogwarts AU ficc LMAOO my guilty pleasure lowk omg. i was originally going to focus on beomgyu in this fic but i was like... hueningkai as a hufflepuff tho.. so here we aree. i rlly hope u guys like this bc damn did this take me a long time to write like omll
part two
“We’re fucking doomed.”
Beomgyu dramatically drops his head onto the table with a dull thud, narrowly missing an open ink bottle.
It’s mid-afternoon. The Great Hall during this time is supposed to be for quiet study—OWLs prep, strictly enforced and monitored by professors. Key word: quiet.
Instead, the hall hums with this restless energy. The usual quiet is now replaced by soft whispers and the occasional bursts of laughter that no one bothers to hush anymore.
Sunlight streams through towering windows, casting light over scattered notes and half-abandoned textbooks. Quills drag lazily across wrinkled parchments, pages turned without much focus. Some people look like they haven’t slept in days; others glow, lost in the haze of delusional infatuation.
No one’s really paying attention at this point, concentration gradually slipping away piece by piece. A Fizzing Whizzbee pops with a sharp fizz beneath the Slytherin table, followed by a muffled snort or someone kicking their friend under the table. At one end of the hall, a group of Hufflepuffs have given up entirely, huddled around hand-drawn dress sketches, giggling behind their cupped hands. .
And above it all, talk of the Yule Ball lingers in the air much like perfume—faint, sweet, and fucking everywhere.
Ah, yes. The Yule Ball.
Announced weeks ago by Dumbledore—twinkle-eyed and dramatic as always—and somehow, the news still clings to every hallway. It’s the kind of event that manages to distract even the most disciplined minds. Some students are practically glowing with excitement. Others? Well, they’re spiraling. Hard.
It’s everywhere and it’s only getting worse. I mean, even the castle ghosts have started gossiping. You’d think that with the Triwizard Tournament in full swing and OWLs just right around the corner, people would be too stressed to care. But no—somehow, who’s asked who to the dance is still the main thing on everyone’s minds.
At this point, it’s been painfully clear half the student body has officially lost their minds.
And unfortunately, at the Gryffindor table... that includes my friends. Beomgyu’s voice breaks the silence with a dramatic, hopeless tone loud enough to earn a few startled looks from nearby.
“Doomed how exactly?” I ask, not bothering to look up from my notes.
He lifts his head just enough to shoot me a glare. “Doomed as in doomed. The Yule Ball is in, what, a couple of weeks? And none of us have dates. Or plans. Or hope.”
“Speak for yourself,” Nari cuts in from beside him. “I might have a plan.”
“You said that yesterday,” Jungwon reminds her. “Then you chickened out the second Kang Taehyun asked you what time it was.”
“Okay, well—he looked at me,” she defends herself.
Beomgyu groans out loud, before dropping his quill like he’s just sealed our collective fate. “Yep. This is it. We’re done for.”
Nari scoffs softly. “You’re being way too dramatic.”
“I’m simply being accurate,” he says, slumping back in his chair. “The ball’s just around the corner, and I’m still date-less, dress-robe-less, and dangerously close to throwing myself into the Black Lake.”
I finally look up, exchange a quick glance with Nari, then shift my attention back to the boy in front of me.
“I thought you didn’t care about dances,” I say.
“I didn't,” he groans once more, face now smushed into his Charms notes. “And then people started getting dates. Hot dates. And now I’m panicking.”
“You panic every time someone looks at you for more than ten seconds,” Jungwon comments dryly from beside me.
“This is different,” Beomgyu whines, lifting his head just enough to meet my gaze. “This is social survival. I can’t be the only loser who shows up stag. I have a reputation to maintain.”
“What reputation?” Jungwon and I say in perfect sync, then high-five.
“Adorable,” he groans, shaking his head. “I’m basically hopeless, guys.” I lean back, letting out a breath.
Sometimes I wonder how we even got here—how a castle filled with talking portraits and disappearing staircases became just part of our everyday lives. Beomgyu and I first crossed paths in our first-year Charms class. He was this shy and awkward kid, always flinching every time his wand sparked. I remember offering to help him with a simple levitating spell, and apparently, that one moment was enough to earn me a lifetime of chaos. One week he was all awkward smiles and nervous stutters. The next, he was critiquing my handwriting, stealing food off my plate, and insisting the Bulgarian National Quidditch team had the best uniforms in Quidditch history.
Do I regret helping him that day? Absolutely. (Not really.)
We’d known Nari and Jungwon since first year too, but mostly just names we recognized and other kids we occasionally partnered with in class. Things didn’t really start clicking until second year.
Nari and I bonded in Herbology class after a near-meltdown over a screaming Mandrake. While, Beomgyu and Jungwon grew close after accidentally setting off a dungbomb in the boy's bathroom and being sentenced to scrub the floor with enchanted toothbrushes by Professor McGonagall. By third year, we were a proper friend group. A chaotic, loud, kind of a mess, but it all worked.
Now, in fifth year, we’ve all survived detention-worthy mischief, disastrous crushes, and one unforgettable cursed toilet incident together. Through it all, Beomgyu and I have always shared this quiet understanding between one another. A bond closer than anything either of us has with anyone else.
So when he lets out that dramatic groan and slumps forward. I already know what’s about to come—even before he turns to me with that look.
Aaaaand... there it is.
“That’s why I need your help,” he says, pointing a finger at me like he’s just had a brilliant idea.
“No,” I say automatically.
He blinks. “You don’t even know what I’m asking.”
“I don’t need to. The answer’s still no.”
He gasps, clutching his chest. “You used to be nicer.”
“I used to have a will to live. Things change.” He pouts dramatically, but I just raise a brow.
“Let me guess,” I deadpan. “You want me to help you find a date for the ball?”
He lights up. “Dang, you know me too well.”
Jungwon pipes up with a grin, “So, who’s the unlucky girl this time?”
We all know exactly who.
The girl who’s at the top of nearly every class and somehow has Beomgyu wrapped around her finger without even trying. The girl with the sharpest mind, gentle smile, and a knack for answering the toughest questions. The girl who probably doesn’t even know Choi Beomgyu exists beyond the occasional nod in the hall.
Beomgyu shrugs, but his eyes wander—past our table, toward Ravenclaw's. Towards her.
“Chaewon,” he says.
Of course. My stomach does a slow, uncomfortable flip.
Then, suddenly, a laugh breaks out right beside Jungwon. It’s Park Jong Seong, another Gryffindor who’s been eavesdropping our conversation.
“Kim Chaewon? Dude, that girl's got so many people interested, even some seventh years are hoping to ask her.”
Nari nods. “He’s right., y'know. The girl's at the top of almost every class and is ridiculously charming too. No wonder everyone’s after her.”
“Yeah, I know.. But it doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.” Beomgyu shrugs.
“Come on, man. It’s easier than it looks—asking someone to the ball,” Jay says with a casual shrug.
Jungwon raises an eyebrow. “Says the guy who hasn't even scored a date yet.”
Jay only smirks, flipping to a fresh page in his notebook beside him. He grabs his quill and scribbles something quickly, before tearing the page out and beginning to fold the piece of paper.
“What are you doing?” I ask, eyes narrowing.
Jay doesn’t answer.
He just turns slightly, scanning the tables before spotting someone a few seats down—Huh Yunjin, a Hufflepuff with red velvet hair and equally sharp grades. With zero hesitation, he raises the newly folded paper airplane and launches it in her direction. It glides smoothly before landing right next to her own parchment.
She blinks, surprised, then looks up to meet Jay’s gaze. He gives a sheepish wave, then gestures softly to the note.
Curious, she unfolds it. We watch from afar as she reads the scrawled message: Will you go to the dance with me?
A second later, her lips curl into a shy smile as she nods to him—definitely a yes. Then, she looks back to her friends, who quickly lean in and begin reading the tiny message on note, whispering excitedly to one another. Jay simple leans back, smug as hell, then picks up his quill like nothing happened.
“Damn,” Nari mutters.
“Show-off,” Beomgyu grumbles.
A second later, he turns to me with wide eyes. “Okay, so that's why I need backup. Moral support. You know, someone to make sure I don’t spiral mid-sentence.”
“You want me to be your wingman?” I say flatly.
He grins. “Exactly.”
Nari groans. “C'mon, Beomgyu, that's ridiculous. It’s a dance, not a battlefield.”
“For you, maybe,” Beomgyu sighs, placing a hand over his heart. “But for the rest of us emotionally underdeveloped disasters, this is war.”
I roll my eyes. “What’s in it for me then, if I say yes?”
“Funny you ask,” he says, before digging into his robes and pulling out a tiny, beat-up notebook.
I raise an eyebrow. “Money? Food? A cheat sheet for Potions?”
“Even better.” He opens it, holding it out.
The three of us lean in, squinting at a poorly written, barely legible list. “What is this exactly?”
“It’s a draft list,” he says proudly. “Potential dates. For you. I figured if I’m not going alone, then neither are you, my good friend. So, this way, we can sort them out together. Like auditions."
"Auditions?"
“Think of it as... the Tournament of Eligible Wizards.”
“That’s not a thing.” Nari says.
“It is now.”
“You’re actually insane,” I mutter.
He just smiles, turning those ridiculous puppy eyes on me. “So? Will you do it?”
I don’t hesitate.
“No.”
For the next two days, Beomgyu launches what he calls a 'gentle persuasion campaign'—emphasis on gentle, despite there being absolutely nothing low-key about it.
At first, he started off with small things: carrying my books to class like some victorian gentleman—stiff posture and embarrassingly exaggerated bows; saving me a seat in the common room, then dramatically fanning it with his hand; and even sliding me some chocolate frogs during breakfast, each one accompanied by a cryptic note scrawled in his messy handwriting:
“To the fairest of them all ♡ P.S. Say yes to my plan PLZ.”
I try to ignore it. I really do.
But when I find a single, perfectly folded origami heart on my pillow one night, I start to reconsider. Because this? This is not subtle.
Then he takes it up a notch.
This boy literally starts buttering up my professors:
“Professor Flitwick, wouldn’t you agree that Y/N is exceptionally talented at Charms? She just told me how she managed to perfectly cast a Protego Shield without even moving her wand!”
Or passing Sprout on the way to Herbology: “Professor, did you know that Y/N here could probably single-handedly replant the entire greenhouse, she’s just that amazing.”
It didn’t take long before that backfired.
Next thing I know, I was stuck after class hours actually replanting some of the trickiest plants in the greenhouse, all thanks to him.
Of course, he came over shortly after with wide, apologetic eyes and flushed cheeks, before gently taking my hand, silently begging for forgiveness. And then, without a word, he began kneeling down and started helping me replant the delicate Whomping Willow saplings I’d been struggling with, making sure every root was set just right.
How could I possibly stay mad?
By the end of the second day, he’s pulling out the big guns: puppy eyes, dramatic sighs, and a painfully off-key (and way too loud) rendition of “A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love” echoing through the corridor outside the Potions classroom.
Needless to say, I told anyone who witnessed it that I didn’t even know the guy.
All of this was enough to make me question my sanity. And yet, there’s something weirdly endearing about all of it.
But I don’t say yes. Not yet.
Because helping him means watching it all unfold from the sidelines. It's a sight that would stir something inside me that I’m not ready to face. So instead, I focus on other things that makes sense.
Namely, tutoring.
Namely, Huening Kai.
Late one afternoon, I settle into a quiet corner of the school library with Kai, tucked behind a pile of Transfiguration books and a globe that’s been spinning slightly off-axis all afternoon. It’s calm here, broken only by the soft rustle of parchment and the occasional scratch of his quill. Kai’s hunched over his notes now, brows furrowed, bottom lip caught between his teeth. A stray strand of hair falls over his forehead, but he doesn’t notice.
“So if you switch the order of the incantation, you’ll reverse the spell completely,” I say, voice low, steady. “That’s why your teacup exploded. You basically undid the base form mid-transfiguration.”
Kai blinks, processing. “Right. That… makes sense.”
“Here.” I lean over, reaching for his notes, and he shifts slightly to give me space. Our arms brush.
“Try it this way next time,” I add, scribbling a revised sequence onto the page.
He’s quiet a moment, then says, “Thanks. You’re really good at explaining things.”
I shrug. “I’ve blown up enough teacups to learn from it.”
He lets out a quiet laugh and I catch his smile as he glances over at me, sweet and warm.
This all started when Professor McGonagall assigned me to help him with Transfiguration. We mainly studied vanishing spells, but, after a few sessions, Astronomy got added to our coverage as well—once Professor Sinistra noticed he couldn’t keep his constellations straight.
At first, I thought it would be this really awkward and annoying part of my day that I would just have to go through. But, after getting to know him during late-night revisions and half-whispered complaints about homework, I started growing this soft spot for him that I can't quite put my finger on. Now these sessions feel less like an obligation and more like something I don’t really mind making time for.
I lean back with a sigh, twirling my quill once between my fingers, following a short pause between us.
“Okay,” I say, lowering my voice, “can I complain about something slightly unhinged?”
Kai blinks, then smiles softly. “Always.”
“Beomgyu is driving me insane.”
Kai chuckles. “What did he do now?”
“He’s been on this unholy mission to convince me to help him ask out this girl to the dance. Like, full-on campaign mode. Bribes. Compliments. Chocolate frogs. Yesterday he wrote me a poem. A poem, Kai.”
Kai lifts an amused eyebrow. “That’s… kind of sweet?”
I groan. “It was a haiku about how I’m his only hope. And he rhymed ‘Yule ball’ with ‘Downfall.’”
He presses a hand to his mouth, clearly trying not to laugh.
“Who’s the girl?”
“Kim Chaewon.” I say.
“Oh?” he says, genuinely surprised.
“I know, right?” I giggle at the way his eyebrows lift.
“The thing is… I’m not even mad about helping him,” I admit. “It’s just the way he’s going about it—like life or death.”
“That does sound like him,” Kai says, eyes twinkling.
“And the worst part?” I continue, voice low, "Is that I’m this close to giving in. Which I shouldn’t.”
The next morning, Beomgyu and I make our way to Care of Magical Creatures, our boots crunching softly on damp grass as the castle looms smaller behind us. The stone steps are slick with morning mist, and the air smells rich with wet earth and fresh hay.
There’s a low buzz running through the class—something about today’s creature being “a bit more exciting,” according to Hagrid. Which, knowing him, could mean anything from harmless flobberworms to something closer to fire-breathing death.
Beomgyu falls into step beside me, hands stuffed deep in his robe pockets, unusually quiet. He’s been like this all morning—restless, like he wants to say something but keeps holding back.
I can tell he’s trying not to push. Not today.
“I’m not saying anything,” he mutters after a few seconds, glancing at me. “Just… making a point that I’m not saying anything.”
“You literally just said something,” I deadpan.
He flashes me that familiar grin. “Yeah, but not the thing. So I get points, right?”
I shake my head, hiding a reluctant smile as we join the rest of the class gathered near the paddock. Professor Hagrid is already waiting, towering beside a large, roped-off enclosure with something ginormous shifting behind it.
“Right then! Everyone here? Good. Got a real treat for yeh today,” Hagrid beams. “Now, everyone gather ‘round, but not too close, yeah?”
Beomgyu nudges me as we edge into the group. “Place your bets now—giant spider or scaly death lizard?”
“Tempting options, but I’m going with majestic death bird,” I murmur.
Suddenly, a sharp rustle of feathers confirms it. In the center of the clearing stands a hippogriff—massive and sleek, its brown wings folded neatly. It fixes us with an intense amber gaze, claws gleaming in the morning light.
“This here is Buckbeak,” Hagrid announces. "He’s got a bit of a temper, so you’ve got to show him respect.”
Beomgyu whistles low under his breath. “Majestic death bird wins.”
A ripple of gasps spreads through the students as Buckbeak fully reveals himself, wings twitching with a soft rustle. A few students shuffle back, eyes wide, as Park Yejun somewhere near the front lets out a strangled noise and ducks behind their partner.
Hagrid stands tall beside the creature, his large hands resting on the rope fence. “Now, hippogriffs ain’t just any magical beast,” he begins, voice low but proud.
“They come from forests far from here—wild places where they can stretch their wings and hunt. Half eagle, half horse, see? Sharp eyes and beak of a bird, with the strong legs and body of a horse.”
We spread out in a loose half-semicircle around Buckbeak, giving him plenty of space. He eyes us keenly, feathers rippling, that sharp amber gaze sweeping the group.
"This one here’s a Highland breed, they come from up north near Inverness. Now, hippogriffs are proud animals. So you make sure you bow first, make eye contact, and if he bows back, you’re good to go.” Hagrid continues.
Beomgyu mutters under his breath, “So basically, a flying judgment machine.”
I nudge him. “Still sounds more reasonable than Professor Snape.”
Near the back, I spot a familiar figure—Kai, notebook tucked under his arm, watching the hippogriff with quiet curiosity. When he sees me, he lifts a hand in a small wave, the corner of his mouth twitching in a smile.
I smile automatically and wave back.
Beomgyu’s gaze slides between us. “Who’s that?”
“Kai,” I answer, too casually. "I tutor him Transfiguration and Astronomy."
Beomgyu raises a brow.
“Tutoring,” he repeats, like he’s filing the phrase away for later interrogation. “Hm.”
Hagrid looks around with that big grin of his. “Alright then, who’s brave enough to go first?"
No one volunteers—just lots of nervous glances and shuffling feet. Then, almost on cue, the whole class takes a step back—except me.
I freeze, and wouldn’t you know it, I end up looking like I just boldly stepped forward on my own.
Hagrid’s eyes light up as he points right at me. “Well, well, well! Look who’s volunteered herself. Y/N, come on, don’t keep Buckbeak waitin’.”
Suddenly, every pair of eyes is on me—including Beomgyu’s—and I’m left trying to figure out if I should be proud or mortified. I nudge Beomgyu before slowly making my way toward the creature. He just smirks, clearly entertained by how caught off guard I am.
“Assholes” I mutter under my breath, heart starting to climb into my throat. Buckbeak's eyes track me as I move closer. I try to keep my breathing steady, my steps slow.
“Alright now, Y/N,” Hagrid says gently, stepping up beside me. “Start with a bow, nice and respectful. Show ‘im yeh mean no harm.”
I nod, swallowing hard.
Slowly, I bow at the waist in what I hope is the most confident and respectful bow this animal has seen in his life, fighting every instinct screaming at me to look away. Buckbeak stares. For a terrifying few seconds, he doesn’t move. Just breathes and watches.
And then, finally, he bows back.
A wave of relief washes over me. I exhale slowly, trying to keep it steady. I hear somebody behind me mutter “Bloody hell,” and the rest of the class finally takes an exhaled relief, as a flicker of pride stirs in my chest.
Hagrid claps a hand on my back, nearly sending me forward. “Good job! Not many get a bow on their first try. Now, step forward slow—hand out, let him have a sniff.”
I take a shaky step forward, holding my hand out. Buckbeak leans in, nostrils flaring, his hot breath feeling heavy against my fingers. But, he doesn’t pull away.
Oh my god, I’m doing it. I’m actually doing it—
The thought barely has time to settle before everything changes.
A loud, jarring sound cracks through the clearing like metal being slammed against stone. It cuts the air in two, sudden and violent, scattering the quiet.
Buckbeak reacts instantly. His head jerks up, eyes wide with alarm, and his massive wings snap open with a powerful rush of wind. The force of it knocks the breath from my lungs.
I stumble back, thrown off balance by the sheer strength of his movement.
“Shit—!” I gasp, trying to steady myself. But I move too slowly.
There’s a blur of feathers and flashing talons. A shrill, warning screech fills the air, piercing and frantic.
Then it hits me.
Something slams into my side with brutal force, hard enough to lift me off my feet. I crash into the ground, landing hard on my back, the air knocked clean from my chest.
For a moment, everything goes still.
Then I hear it—a sound that doesn’t belong to the creature.
A sharp hiss, low and strained, filled with pain.
I turn my head quickly, heart racing, panic tightening every muscle in my body. My limbs feel heavy, but I push through the fog in my mind, dragging myself upright.
A few gasps ripple around me. Someone lets out a scream, high and terrified.
The hippogriff stomps, agitated, but he doesn’t strike again. Slowly, wings folding, he backs away, eyes still sharp but no longer hostile.
I scramble up, breath caught in my throat, and immediately spot Beomgyu crouched in front of me, arm curled protectively around his middle. His sleeve is torn and blood is blooming fast.
“Are you okay?” he asks first, breathless and hoarse.
“You’re the one bleeding,” I manage, eyes wide. “I...What—why would you—”
He winces, crouching lower to keep the weight off his arm. “Didn’t really think about it. I just saw claws coming at your face. Not a fan of that visual.”
I huff out a laugh that’s more nerves than amusement. “You’re actually crazy.”
There’s a tremble in my voice I didn’t mean to let slip. My hands hover uselessly, unsure if I should help him up or shake him for doing something that reckless. He looks up at me with that stupid, lopsided grin of his.
“Little bit,” he says.
Behind us, I catch a flicker of movement. Kai—frozen halfway from where he’d clearly started to move too. His hand is clenched around his wand, jaw tight, but his eyes are on Beomgyu.
On me.
On us.
Hagrid rushes over, dropping to his knees. “Sweet Merlin—hold still, lad—let me see.” His eyes go wide at the blood. “Lucky that wasn’t deeper. Could’ve been a lot worse.”
He shoots Beomgyu a look—half-scolding, half-shaken. “Brave, yeah—but reckless. What were yeh thinkin’?”
Beomgyu just gives a breathless laugh, still pale.
“Y/N,” Hagrid says, voice low and tight, “take him up to the infirmary. Quick as yeh can.”
I nod, slipping an arm under Beomgyu’s without a word. He doesn’t resist, simply leaning into me, not meeting my eyes.
And even though I’m half ready to strangle him for jumping in like that… I can’t stop replaying it.
How fast he moved. How fast I could’ve—
And behind us, Kai’s eyes follow our every step.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Beomgyu hisses through his teeth. “Ow. That burns.”
“Good. Means it’s working,” Madam Pomfrey snaps.
I let out a soft breath, watching as the gash slowly begins to seal, raw edges knitting themselves together. The blood vanishes in slow spirals as the soaked fabric returns to its original color. After a few long minutes, she pulls back and gives me a curt nod.
“He’ll live. No flying or Quidditch for at least two days. And if I catch you messing with the spellwork, you’ll be back here with worse,” The old woman says briskly, already turning away before Beomgyu can muster a reply.
The door to her office swings shut behind her, leaving a sharp silence in her wake. Beomgyu exhales, leaning back against the crisp infirmary sheets. His uniform is rumpled, sleeve still torn, though the blood is gone—replaced by smooth, freshly-healed skin wrapped in gauze.
“Well,” he says after a beat, glancing at me. “That was fun.”
I stare at him. He stares back, as if surprised I haven’t said anything yet.
“You could’ve died.”
“That’s dramatic,” he says, then immediately winces when he shifts too quickly. “Okay, a little dramatic.” I don’t laugh.
“You think?” I fold my arms. He turns his head toward me.
“Could’ve been worse.”
"You literally got clawed by a hippogriff, Beomgyu."
“Minor inconvenience,” he says, wincing as he tries to shift.
I glare at him, then sit on the edge of the bed, arms still crossed. “You’re an idiot.”
He smiles faintly. “Takes one to love one.”
The silence stretches, long enough to feel heavy. His smile falters slightly and I glance away, suddenly too aware of how close we are.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I say quietly. “Get in the way.”
He shrugs with his good arm. “Didn’t really think about it.”
“That’s the problem,” I snap—but my voice is too soft, too shaky to land properly.
He watches me for a beat, expression unreadable. “You looked so scared.”
“I’ve never seen you look like that before,” he adds, quiet. I don’t answer. Because I don’t know how to say that I was. That I still am.
For a moment, all I can hear is the tick of the clock on the wall and the distant sound of Madam Pomfrey muttering behind her office door.
“I owe you,” I say finally, voice quiet.
His brow furrows. “No, you don’t.”
“I do,” I insist. “You got hurt because of me.” He opens his mouth, but I cut him off before he can say something else stupidly noble.
“So I’ll help you.”
He blinks. “Help me…?”
“With your big Yule Ball plan,” I say, forcing a small smile. “Chaewon. Operation Win Her Heart or whatever we’re calling it now.”
Beomgyu stares like I’ve just offered him a Hippogriff of his very own. I nod. “Consider it your thank-you gift. For being a reckless idiot.”
A beat.
“You sure?” he asks, something unreadable threading through his voice.
“Positive,” I lie. He grins. Not one of his usual cocky, exaggerated ones; this one’s smaller, tired at the edges.
“Well,” he says, “if you’re offering…”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“Too late,” he hums, eyes closing briefly as he leans back.
I study him in the quiet that follows. His hair’s a mess, there’s still a smear of dried blood on his neck he hasn’t noticed yet, and yet somehow, he still looks infuriatingly smug. Infuriatingly… Beomgyu.
But my heart’s still a little unsteady. From the moment he moved. The sound of impact. The idea of—
No.
I cross my arms. “So. What's the plan? You said you needed help landing a date with Hogwarts’ golden girl, right. What’s the first step? Flashcards? Dramatic declarations? Peacocks?”
His mouth quirks. “Tempting. But I was thinking interviews first.”
I blink. “Interviews?”
He cracks one eye open. “Gotta find your perfect date too, remember? It’s a joint operation.”
I stare. “I never agreed to that part.”
“It’s a package deal,” he says, smug despite the gauze. “You help me, I help you. Everyone’s happy. I don’t bleed out. Win-win.”
I roll my eyes but don’t argue. Because something tells me it’s already too late to back out.
And when I glance at him again—his lashes resting against his cheek, a faint crease between his brows even in rest—I realize something else, too. That maybe the part I should really be worried about… isn’t helping him fall for someone else.
It’s what happens after I do.
“So you agreed to do it?” Nari stares at me like I’ve grown a second head. “Voluntarily?”
I sink into the couch beside her, rubbing at my temples. “He got hurt because of me. What was I supposed to do—nothing?”
“I mean…” She tilts her head, considering. “Yes?”
I give her a look.
She shrugs, not even a little sorry. “You do realize you just signed up to help Beomgyu stage a grand, romantic operation. That’s not a favor... that’s a side quest with emotional consequences.”
“Yeah, well...” I exhale. “Guilt makes people do stupid things.”
She hums, watching me carefully, but doesn’t press.
We both stare into the fireplace for a while, letting the quiet settle. The flames flicker against the stone, and somewhere upstairs, someone slams a door.
Nari leans back with a sigh that sounds. “I swear. If I have to carry my Potions group through one more sentence, I’m putting leeches in their shampoo.”
I snort. “Do it. I’ll provide the leeches.”
She slumps further into the couch, arms crossed like a personal protest. “It’s Potions, Y/N. All they had to do was test ingredients and write literally anything coherent. Instead, I’m rewriting everything from scratch.”
“Oh, I feel you,” I mutter, dragging a hand down my face. “My Muggle Studies group still hasn’t turned in their sections. I think one of them genuinely believes I’ll finish it out of the kindness of my heart.”
“Are they wrong?”
“…No. But I hate that they’re right.”
She shakes her head, muttering something dark under her breath, then sighs. “Oh my god. And guess what? I was supposed to have a meeting tonight—literally right now. Wanna guess who bailed again?”
I glance at her. “No.”
“Yes.”
“Oh my god.”
“Left me mid-draft with half the analysis missing just to ask that one Slytherin girl to the Ball.”
I blink. “Wait—now? During the meeting?”
“Dipshit said something about ‘perfect timing.’” She rolls her eyes. “If he’s gonna ditch his group to shoot his shot, he better fucking score.”
Across the room, Beomgyu is holding court. Literally holding court. He's currently surrounded by at least seven people, most of them girls leaning in with sparkling eyes and slightly over-exaggerated laughs. He’s showing off his cast, all dimples and nonchalance, grinning like a prince who doesn’t even realize he’s being worshipped.
Or worse—does realize and just knows how to make it look effortless.
“Apparently throwing yourself in front of a hippogriff gets you fans,” Nari says dryly, following my gaze. “Who knew.”
I roll my eyes, trying not to look for too long. He’s laughing with Jay and Jungwon now, casually spinning his wand between his fingers like it’s second nature—like he doesn’t have a neatly wrapped bandage under his uniform or a half-healed scar tucked beneath his sleeve.
He catches my eye mid-laugh. The smile shifts for a second—softens. I look away first.
Then, suddenly, the portrait door swings open with a BANG!, and Jiho stumbles in like he’s just survived a dementor’s kiss. Pale, dazed, and clutching what remains of his dignity as he’s being half-dragged by two Gryffindor students, one arm slung over each of their shoulders like a fallen soldier.
The common room quiets, eyes turning toward the spectacle.
Nari blinks. “Is that—oh my god. Jiho?”
Nari's groupmate.
One of the guys propping him up grins, clearly trying not to laugh. “He did it. Asked out that Slytherin girl.”
Jiho opens his mouth, then closes it. Then opens it again. All that comes out is a hoarse, soul-deep groan.
“And?” Nari asks, already bracing for the answer.
“She laughed,” he says hoarsely, like the words have personally betrayed him. “Not just a little laugh, either. Full-on cackled, like I was some punchline of a bad joke.”
I choke on a laugh. Nari is already snorting.
He waves a hand dramatically. "Then she said something about Saturn being in retrograde, or my ‘stars not being in my favor.’ I don’t even know what that means—I just blacked out after that."
He pauses for a beat, visibly mourning the moment, then staggers over to an armchair.
“You know, I’m starting to think I’m cursed,” Jiho says, flopping into the seat like a war veteran. “This is the third girl this week who's mentioned the entire solar system before walking away.”
Nari bursts out laughing. I press a hand to my mouth to keep from smiling too loudly, as Jiho slumps deeper into the cushions with a tragic sigh. “At this point, I should just drop out.”
“Not before the project’s done,” Nari says sweetly. “Then you can spiral.”
Their banter fades into the background as my eyes drift—almost involuntarily—back to Beomgyu.
Jay’s mid-laugh, flicking a chocolate frog into the air and catching it with the kind of smooth, practiced ease that says he’s done it a hundred times. He grins, pleased with himself. Beomgyu cracks his knuckles, like some kind of chocolate frog ninja, and tosses one up with his good arm—only for it to bounce off his nose with a pathetic boink before flopping onto the floor.
He blinks, then tries again. This time missing so badly the frog lands on his shoe and starts hopping away. A few of the girls surrounding them bite their lips, trying hard not to burst out laughing. Jay just crosses his arms, watching with quiet amusement, while Jungwon shakes his head with a soft chuckle, patting Beomgyu on the shoulder. The boy only shoots him a mock glare but can’t hide the grin tugging at his lips.
I bite back a laugh, the corners of my mouth twitching. Because as much as I want to pretend this whole plan is just a favor—a simple “thank you” for him saving me from the hippogriff—I know better.
I know I’m pretending I don’t feel anything when he’s near.
But for now, I shove that down. Focus on the plan. The interviews. The “win her heart” nonsense that somehow feels way more complicated than it should.
For now, I’m just going to help Beomgyu—because he needs me. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.
“Merlin, I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.”
“You agreed to it.”
“Because you emotionally blackmailed me with your near-death theatrics.”
Beomgyu grins like it’s a compliment. “It's my specialty.”
We settle into a quiet corner of the courtyard, sunlight flickering over the blank parchment between us. Beomgyu’s already uncapped his ink, treating this like some kind of strategy meeting.
“So,” he says, “what’s your type?”
I blink. “My what?”
“Your type. Tall? Brooding? Has opinions on cauldron safety? I need something to work with.”
“You’re serious.”
“You think I got almost trampled by some bird-horse just to half-ass a matchmaking campaign? Of course I’m serious.”
I sigh, mumbling: “…Can’t believe you’re calling it a campaign.”
“Why start with me?” I mutter more to myself than to him. “Shouldn’t we be talking about what you’ve got planned for yourself instead?”
“Yours is more fun.”
“That’s not an answer.” He looks at me like he’s weighing something, then shrugs once more.
“My part’s easier. Cause I already know what I want, and Chaewon already knows me… kind of. We just have to shift perspective." He taps the parchment with his quill. “But with you? People need an introduction.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Sounds dramatic.”
He smirks. “Because it is. Now come on, you’re stalling. Ideal date. Go.”
“Fine. Someone... real. Smart. Decent. Not allergic to listening.” I roll my eyes.
“No dramatic peacocking?”
“I’d prefer they not scream poetry across the Great Hall, yes.”
He scribbles something on the parchment. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll find someone better than me.”
“Maybe..”
He laughs, offering me a light-hearted grin, but it doesn't quite meet his eyes.
I exhale. “I want someone grounded too."
I pause, biting the inside of my cheek. Then, adding. "Not performative, though. Someone who can make me laugh without trying too hard. I want them to be quiet-smart too, not the loud, know-it-all kind.”
Beomgyu doesn’t respond right away. He just nods once, quill still poised over the parchment like he’s giving it his full, ridiculous attention. After a beat, he flips it around and slides it toward me, ink slightly smudged where his hand dragged across the corner.
“Here,” he says. “Updated list. Crossed out some, added a few.”
I scan the page. There’s a neat little X next to someone I vaguely remember snoring through our Potions final. Another’s been crossed out with the note “snores in Divination.” I’m halfway through an underlined name when something in the middle catches my eye—bold, circled, underlined twice.
“Wait—Park Sunghoon?” I blink, holding the parchment up like I misread it. “You actually put him on the list?”
Beomgyu barely looks up, still doodling in the corner of the page. “Yeah. Why not?”
I blink at him. “As in, top of his class, probably gets fan mail, currently competing in the Triwizard Tournament Park Sunghoon?”
He shrugs like we’re talking about some random guy in the courtyard. “I heard he also volunteers in the infirmary, is fluent in three languages, and I'm pretty sure the guy bakes when he’s stressed too.”
“I know that. Everyone in the castle does. That’s why this is insane!”
“Is it?” he says, finally glancing at me, one brow raised.
“Yes!” I gesture toward the parchment. “The guy's got a literal fanbase and hasn’t even come close to losing a round in the tournament. And he’s tall. Like, how-is-that-even-fair tall.”
Beomgyu fights a grin. “So what I’m hearing is… he’s perfect.”
“What you’re hearing is that he’s not even remotely in my league."
He shrugs again, calm as ever. “Reach for the stars, Y/N.”
“That’s not reaching for the stars,” I mutter. “That’s launching myself into space with a broken wand and a prayer.”
He laughs under his breath, then leans forward, elbow on the table, smile softening. “Look, if I’m out here doing the most to win over Chaewon, you’re not getting away with playing it safe either.”
My eyes narrow. “So this is like a solidarity thing?”
“It’s like a ‘why the hell not’ thing,” he says, still smiling. “Besides…” He taps the parchment once. “You’re you. And if that’s not enough, then that’s his problem.”
He says it like it’s nothing, like it’s obvious—but it sticks more than I want it to. I glance back down at the list. Sunghoon’s name is circled in bold and clear writing, like Beomgyu genuinely believes I could actually stand a chance.
I clear my throat. “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you if I spontaneously combust trying to talk to him.”
He smirks. “We’ll make sure to have Madam Pomfrey on standby."
I roll my eyes, before nudging him and tapping on another name. “And Choi Soobin? That's also new.”
“Yep, from Ravenclaw,” he says. “He's a bit clumsy, but in a charming way. He's grounded and observant, like you said. Feels like someone who’d actually remember your birthday.”
“Are you really finding me a date or just tossing random names on a list?”
“A bit of both,” he admits. “But Soobin’s sweet. I saw him trip over his own shoelace once and he actually apologized to the floor. I figured you’d appreciate that kind of sincerity.”
I can’t help but grin, looking at the crossed out names. “You don’t waste time, huh?”
“Nope,” he says with a grin. “I believe its better to narrow it all down before the interviews.”
“Quality over quantity,” I say, folding my arms. “Fine. But I’m not going to go easy on them.”
He laughs. “Wouldn’t want you to.”
I trace a name with my finger, suddenly quieter. “Do you really think any of these guys would want to… actually go out with me? Or even say yes to all this chaos?”
Beomgyu looks up, expression unreadable for a beat. His eyes meet mine, steady and serious in a way that steals my breath for a second.
“If I were them?” he says. “I’d be crazy not to.”
My throat goes a little dry. Before I can say anything, he snatches the parchment back. “Also—hear me out—I think we should add that Durmstrang champion to the 'maybe' list.”
I stare at him. “You mean the one who made that second year burst into tears just by looking at them?”
“Yep. I thought he might be your type.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him blink since the opening ceremony.”
“Exactly. You love a challenge.”
I groan, half-laughing. “You’re dumb.”
Beomgyu grins wide.
I straighten, voice steady. “Alright fine, but this whole thing has to wait until after OWLs. No exceptions.”
He opens his mouth to protest.
“No,” I say firmly, cutting him off. “This is a non-negotiable.”
Beomgyu raises an amused eyebrow. “After OWLs it is then.”
Later that night, the castle feels quieter, the weight of the day settling into stillness.
“Okay,” Kai murmurs, squinting at the diagram in front of him. “If the angle of elevation from the northern horizon is thirty-seven degrees and Mars is in retrograde… what does that mean again?”
The Astronomy Tower is nearly empty, bathed in soft blue moonlight and flickering candlelight. A light breeze curls through the open arches, rustling the edges of my notes. We’ve been studying here for over two hours now, notes and textbooks spread between us like a quiet fortress against the night. Kai lies halfway on his stomach, chin resting in his palm, eyebrows furrowed in quiet frustration.
I glance up from my notes, trying not to smile. “It means you didn’t do the reading I assigned last week.”
He shrugs, a small grin tugging at his lips. “I skimmed it.”
“You skimmed the title page.”
“Still counts,” he mumbles, eyes flickering up to meet mine for a moment.
I snort, leaning over to tap my quill against his notes. “Try again. Where’s the observer located?”
He groans softly, dragging his quill across the parchment like it’s a punishment. “Hopefully somewhere with a better tutor.”
I gasp in mock offense. “Rude.”
Kai lifts his head just enough to flash me a lopsided smile. “Kidding. You’re brilliant. The best in the tower.”
I arch an eyebrow. “There’s no one else in the tower.”
“Exactly,” he deadpans, then grins wider.
I snort again, tapping my quill against his notes. “Try again. Where’s the observer located?”
He groans, slouching just a little, but his smile stays soft. “Somewhere with snacks would be nice.”
“Kai.”
“Fine, fine,” he mumbles, squinting at the diagram. “Northern Hemisphere. Mars looks like it’s going backward… because of perspective..? Retrograde.”
I blink. “That’s… actually right.”
He sits up a little straighter, eyes widening. “Seriously?”
“See? Not so bad having me as your tutor after all,” I say with a playful smile.
“Okay, okay, you’re actually pretty good at this.” He taps his quill on the parchment, smiling softly.
Kai shifts beside me, fingers brushing lightly over the edge of my notes. After a moment, his voice drops a little. “Hey… how’s Beomgyu doing, by the way?”
I glance up. “He’s fine.”
“Yeah?” His voice is casual, but his brows pull together just a little. “That scratch looked pretty bad it happened. It was all pretty terrifying.”
“Yeah, I thought I was gonna get my head bitten off. But I'm really grateful he was there.”
Kai nods, gaze dropping for a beat. “Yeah… lucky you had him.”
He doesn’t say anything more, but there’s something thoughtful in his expression.
“But he’s alright now,” I add, a small smile tugging at my lips. “I mean, earlier in the common room, he was acting like he wrestled Buckbeak bare-handed and lived to tell the tale. So, I guess the guy’s alright.”
He laughs softly, before shifting a little closer to me, voice gentle. “How about you? How are you holding up after all that?”
“I’m alright. Honestly, it was a lot in the moment, but now it just feels like one of those crazy stories. " I smile a little, glancing at Kai. “Having Beomgyu around made it easier too, I guess.”
Kai’s smile softens, eyes warm. “Yeah, he really does look out for you, even when things get a bit crazy.”
I chuckle softly. “Brave or foolish—I’m still not sure.”
Kai shifts slightly again, voice quieter. “What about the Chaewon thing? Are you two working on that yet?”
I shake my head, a small smile playing on my lips. “Oh. It hasn’t started yet.”
“No?”
He raises an eyebrow, curious. “Something more important than his own plan with Chaewon?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah. Me, apparently.”
His expression falters, just slightly. “You?”
I laugh softly, shaking my head. “He’s now on some kind of matchmaking mission for my sake. Says people need a proper introduction.”
Kai leans back a little, eyebrows raised. “Matchmaking?”
“Yeah. Beomgyu made a list of names with actual plans for interviews and everything.” I give him a playful look. “But I made it clear—it has to be after exam season. That’s the only way I’d fully agree to it.”
He chuckles, then sighs. “Sounds like he’s got it all figured out.”
“Right?” I smile, though there's a subtle hesitation there. “He calls it a campaign. Like, it's a whole operation.”
Kai is quiet for a moment, then says gently, “And you’re okay with that?”
"I don't really mind, honestly." I shrug. “Beomgyu seems pretty determined about the whole idea... and maybe a little emotionally persuasive.”
His smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Still… whoever he picks is going to be lucky.”
I blink at him. “You really think so?”
He meets my eyes, not flinching. “Yeah. I mean it.”
Around us, everything quiets down—the soft breeze, the flicker of candlelight, and something unspoken hanging between us. The silence stretches on as the night deepens around the Astronomy Tower. Kai glances down at the worn clock carved into the stone floor beneath us, his eyes narrowing.
“Wait…” he mutters, sitting up straighter.
...
“Oh SHIT!—” Kai blurts, a grin spreading. “What time is it?!”
I follow his gaze—and immediately feel my stomach drop. “Oh hell.”
We both stare at the clock for a beat in stunned silence before launching into motion, gathering books and parchment like two first years during a surprise dorm inspection.
“Yep.” He snatches a stack of notes, eyes wide. “We’re past curfew. Like… way past.”
“Why didn’t we check the time?” I whisper, half-shouting as I scramble for the papers.
“You were so focused on tutoring, I don’t think either of us noticed the time,” he says, a little panicked but smiling. “And I was still messing up the planets.”
A small warmth flickers inside me at how earnest he sounds. Then the reality starts to hit.
“We’re going to get caught,” I remark. “Filch is probably out there breathing down a suit of armor right now.”
Kai groans. “With Mrs. Norris lurking. Like she always does.”
“Fuck. I forgot about her.”
We’re already at the top of the steps when he suddenly pauses. “Wait—your common room’s farther, right?”
I nod. “Gryffindor Tower.”
He shifts his books to one arm and tilts his head toward the hallway. “Alright. Let’s go.”
I blink. “Wait—what? Your common room's like ten feet that way.”
“Exactly. Which means I’ve got time to make sure you don’t get eaten by a cat-demon.”
“You don’t have to walk me—”
“I know,” he smiles softly, already heading in my direction.
I hesitate, then fall into step beside him.
We make our way down the spiral steps, moving as fast as we dare without tripping over our own feet or dropping anything. The castle feels twice as silent now, even the portraits are asleep—or at least pretending not to notice us.
Kai holds the stairwell door for me, peeking his head out before motioning me through with an exaggerated “All clear” whisper.
The tower door groans loudly as we slip out, the sound echoing down the corridor. We both freeze.
“Shhh—” I whisper.
“That wasn’t me,” Kai whisper-hisses. “That was the castle.”
The corridors are dark and quiet in that eerie after-hours way. Our footsteps feel way too loud, so we start tiptoeing in exaggerated slow motion.
“This feels like a heist,” he mutters. “A very nerdy one. Like we’re smuggling notes instead of treasure.”
“Shut up, you’re gonna jinx us—” Patter-patter.
We both stop dead. Then—a soft meow.
Kai’s eyes snap wide. “Oh my God.”
Before I can react, he reaches out and grabs my hand, tugging me gently behind a suit of armor nearby. The sudden contact makes my heart skip, but I don’t pull away.
I whisper, “It’s her.”
He crouches low, voice barely audible. “Mrs. Norris.”
We press ourselves flat against the cold metal, barely daring to breathe. My fingers instinctively reach out, curling around his, and he gives a gentle squeeze. I catch the faint pressure, and for a moment, heat blooms in my chest. I internally shake my head at the thought, trying to focus on the situation at hand.
This isn’t the fucking time to get distracted, Y/N. He probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. I thought to myself.
After what feels like forever, Kai peeks out cautiously and gives me a small thumbs-up. “Looks like we’re safe for now,” he whispers, a relieved grin tugging at his lips.
I can’t help but snort quietly. “I almost lost it holding my breath.”
He squeezes my hand again, eyes warm. My heart stutters a little.
Together, we slip back into the corridor, as we walk towards the direction of the Gryffindor towers, tension between us easing just a bit. We finally make our stop in front of the Fat Lady’s portrait.
I turn to thank him, but he’s already looking at me, like he wants to make sure I get inside before he leaves.
“Thanks,” I say, quieter now.
He tilts his head, that soft smile back on his face. “Anytime.”
“You head in first,” he adds, “I’ll keep an eye out for anyone lurking around.”
I give him a small, grateful smile and step forward, pushing the portrait just enough to slip inside.
With a final glance over my shoulder, I whisper, “Goodnight, Kai.”
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replies, his voice just as quiet.
Then the hallway falls silent—except for the steady flutter of my still-racing heart.
The morning after.
The Great Hall’s buzzing like usual—cutlery clinking, low chatter everywhere, and somewhere an owl screeches as it flies overhead. Sunlight spills through the tall windows, making warm patches across the tables.
I slide into my usual spot at the Gryffindor table, arms heavy, eyes burning from not enough sleep. Nari’s already halfway through her porridge, flipping through her notes with this half-focused frown. Jungwon’s across from her, poking at a piece of toast. He looks up the second I sit down across him, eyebrows raised.
“What hole did you crawl out of?” he says, grinning. “You look like you got hit by a bus.”
I groan, dropping my head onto my folded arms. “Didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Jungwon keeps watching, amusement dancing in his eyes. “We didn’t see you in the common room last night. You vanish into the walls or something?”
“Stayed out later than I meant to,” I mumble. Nari glances up briefly, but doesn’t comment.
Then Beomgyu drops into the seat beside Jungwon, hair still damp, somehow looking way too awake for this hour. He takes one look at me and snickers.
“Yikes,” he says cheerfully. “You look like a Bludger hit you on the way to breakfast.”
I blink at him, too tired for comebacks.
Jungwon leans in, his grin widening. “Or maybe,” he says dramatically, “someone just had a very productive study session.”
I don’t dignify that with a response. I just pick up a baby carrot and chuck it at his head.
Thwack! Direct hit.
“Oi!” he yelps, ducking a second too late. “Uncalled for!”
“Totally called for,” I say, already reaching for another. I toss it at Jungwon again, who throws his hands up in mock surrender, laughing. Nari finally looks up from her notes, the corners of her mouth twitching.
“You two never change,” she says, shaking her head. “How do you even function like this at breakfast?”
“Hey, some of us thrive on chaos!" Beomgyu chuckles and leans back slightly, then shifts a little closer to Jungwon, his eyes narrowing with playful curiosity.
“Seriously though,” he says, “where were you last night? I didn’t see you anywhere in the common room.”
Jungwon makes a show of nodding. “Exactly. It’s suspicious.”
I sigh. "Did you sleep in the library again?” Nari asks.
I wave a hand vaguely. “Something like that.”
“Sketchy,” Beomgyu says, narrowing his eyes in mock suspicion. “You’re being very cryptic this morning.”
“She’s definitely hiding something,” Jungwon says, eyes twinkling as he leans in dramatically. “Secret Hogsmeade rendezvous? Late-night broomstick joyride? Did you get eloped?”
I grab another baby carrot and fling it at him without hesitation.
Thwack. Right between the eyes.
“OW—again?!” he cries. “Why is food your weapon of choice?”
“Because it’s handy,” I mutter, reaching for another just in case.
Then it happens. Silence. They’re all watching me now—waiting. The teasing’s stopped, but the curiosity’s still there, sharp and lingering. Jungwon’s eyebrows are halfway to his hairline like he’s piecing things together. Nari’s notes are officially forgotten. Even Beomgyu, frozen mid-reach for a muffin, doesn’t look away.
I rub my face. “Okay. Fine.”
The table leans in just a bit.
“I was tutoring Kai,” I say, trying to keep it casual. “In the Astronomy Tower.”
Jungwon immediately lets out a long, exaggerated, “OoOooh.” and beams. “Scandalous.” He points at me triumphantly. “Told you! Study session turned into a little more—Astronomy Tower edition.”
I give him a flat look. “It was literally just tutoring.”
“Sure,” Jungwon says with a sly smile, raising an eyebrow. “Sounds like the stars weren’t the only things you were aligning last night.”
“You’re disgusting,” I mutter.
Nari snorts into her porridge. “That’d explain why you disappeared before curfew.”
I nudge her lightly, hiding a smile. “We just lost track of time. We were just going over star charts and—next thing I knew, it was nearly midnight.”
My gaze flicks across the hall for a second. The Hufflepuff table is its usual happy chaos, busy with laughter and loud chatter. And there, in the middle of it, Kai's laughing at something one of his friends said, hand half-covering his mouth, bright-eyed and cheerful. He doesn’t notice me looking. But someone else does.
Beomgyu doesn’t turn—doesn’t need to. I can feel it, he knows exactly where I’m looking. His smile doesn’t falter, but something in his posture tightens—just slightly.
“That must’ve been a trek,” Nari says, glancing at me over her spoon. “Getting all the way back to Gryffindor Tower from the Astronomy Tower?”
I shrug. “I mean, yeah, but Kai walked me back.”
A short pause.
Then Jungwon pipes up, brow quirking in faux puzzlement. "Isn’t the Astronomy Tower like... way closer to the Hufflepuff dorms, though?”
I hesitate for half a second, then answer, “Yeah. But he insisted.”
Nari blinks. “He walked you all the way back?”
“Mhm.”
There’s a longer silence this time. Jungwon’s practically glowing with mischief, while Nari watches me more carefully now. But it’s Beomgyu I feel the most. Then, finally, he clears his throat.
“Well,” he says, voice light, even. “That was… gentlemanly of him.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I say, brushing a crumb off the table. “We didn’t want another Filch encounter.”
“Wise,” Jungwon says with a laugh. “Old man’s got bat ears. I sneezed once—two corridors away—and he still found me.”
That gets a laugh out of Nari, and the conversation shifts—something about the ridiculous new Divination seating chart and how Jungwon always ends up next to the kid who smells like dungbombs.
Beomgyu laughs too, tossing in a few jokes of his own. But I notice the way his fingers keep fidgeting with the frayed cuff of his sleeve, how he avoids looking directly at me. How he lets the noise carry him instead of steering it like he usually does.
Maybe the others don’t catch it.
But I do.
Eventually, Nari shuts her notebook with a sigh. “Alright, I need to grab my Herbology notes before class,” she says, pushing back from the table.
Jungwon stretches, groaning. “If I get stuck with dungbomb guy again, I’m dropping Divination. Mark my words.”
We all rise, some grabbing last-minute bites or straightening their robes, the morning pulling us apart into different halls.
“See you guys later,” Nari says over her shoulder.
Jungwon shoots me a look as he heads off. “Try not to hurl more carrots today, yeah?”
I roll my eyes, but a smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. Just like that, we’re moving—blending into the morning stream of students filing out. That’s when I feel someone fall into step beside me.
“Hey,” Beomgyu says, appearing at my side like he’s been there the whole time. “Didn’t think I’d have to jog to catch you.”
“Sorry,” I say. “Thought you were still busy inhaling your second muffin.”
He holds up the muffin in mock offense. “I was. But then I looked up and you were halfway to the dungeons.”
“Figured I’d beat the hallway traffic for once. Character development and all.”
The corridor is thick with chatter, footsteps echoing against the stone, laughter bouncing down the halls. We stay quiet for a moment, as I silently hope that we'd fall back into our light-hearted rhythm, until...
“I, uh… waited up for you last night.”
I blink, glancing at him. "What?" I add. “You did?”
“Yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “In the common room. Thought we could go over stuff for the interviews, maybe over some awful hot chocolate or something.”
Something in my chest tugs.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I say, gently.
“I know,” he says, finally meeting my eyes. “Still figured I might.”
A beat.
“Guess I got a bit worried when you didn’t come back,” he adds, even quieter. That lands heavier than I expect.
“I lost track of time,” I admit. “I'm sorry.”
“No need to be,” he says quickly. “Just glad you’re weren't, I don’t know, trapped in a secret passage somewhere.”
I huff a quiet laugh. “There were no trolls or secret dungeons involved, promise.”
His smile softens, and this one feels like him again.
“So,” he says, glancing sideways. “The plan—still on? Since it’s still after exams, I wasn’t sure if you’d want to back out or—”
I shake my head. “I’m still in.”
His grin returns, this time with a flicker of mischief. “Good. Because I’ve got some questions ready that might scare a few people off.”
I grin. “Perfect. That’s exactly what we need.”
“Exactly what we need,” he echoes.
We keep walking side by side. And for the first time all morning, the air between us feels steady again.
The final stretch before O.W.L.s doesn’t feel like a countdown anymore—it’s more like a slow descent into collective madness.
The whole school is tense and restless, fueled by too much caffeine and too little sleep, like everyone’s bracing for impact. The Yule Ball, once the center of every whispered conversation, has quietly faded into the background, replaced by something far more terrifying:
Academic reality.
Suddenly, distractions aren’t even an option anymore. Every corner of the castle is now packed with students, heads down and books open. The library’s standing room only, its usual hush replaced by frantic page flipping and the occasional quiet breakdown. The Great Hall has turned into a shared study battlefield—ink-stained hands, scattered parchment, and half-empty cups of tea abandoned for diagrams and spell lists.
Hell, even the common rooms, once filled with laughter and half-hearted homework attempts, have gone quiet. Now they flicker under dim candle lights, filled with the sound of scribbling quills and muttered incantations whispered like prayers. Everyone’s after the same thing now: a few more hours of sleep, a little more time to cram, one more chance to make it all stick.
My schedule’s a mess too. I’m bouncing between my own revisions, tutoring Kai, and squeezing in the occasional study session with Nari.
She and I work well together—quiet, focused, no theatrics. We don’t need much talk to get things done. Normally, she studies alone or with her other Slytherin friends, but we make time when we can. It helps having someone just as determined to survive this.
Studying with Jungwon and Beomgyu, however? A total lost cause.
I’ve tried—honestly, I have—but within minutes, Jungwon’s doodling dragons in the margins of my notes while Beomgyu constructs a miniature fortress out of textbooks and christens it “Castle Beom.”
Seriously?
Still, there’ve been moments. Quiet ones. Just me and Beomgyu, side by side as I walk him through Arithmancy theory. He listens, surprisingly focused—brow furrowed, mouth set, like he’s trying to soak it all in at once. Sometimes he grumbles, sometimes he jokes, but he always listens.
“You don’t have to help me, you know,” he said once, fidgeting with the edge of his parchment. “You’ve got enough on your plate.”
I just nudged the notes back to him and said, “You’d do the same.”
And he would. I know he would.
Lately, though, I haven’t seen much of him—or Jungwon, for that matter. My world’s narrowed into a tighter loop: books, parchment, Nari… and Kai.
Kai’s become a constant. We don’t schedule sessions anymore—we just find each other. In quiet corners between classes, at small tables before curfew, on stairwells between floors. He’s improved—not just at Astronomy, but at keeping the panic at bay.
Sometimes we study in silence, sometimes we laugh through the trickier bits, and sometimes—especially when he’s half-asleep over his Transfiguration notes—he’ll ask me something quietly, like it’s just occurred to him that I might disappear when exams are over.
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Finally, the morning of our first exam arrives. We fall into step on the way to the Great Hall—books clutched tight, nerves humming just beneath the surface.
“You remember the difference between lunar and solar conjunctions, right?” I ask, eyes flicking over my notes one last time.
Kai bumps my shoulder lightly. “Only because you explained it with biscuits.”
“Hey, that was a brilliant analogy.”
“It really was,” he agrees, then looks at me softer now. “Thanks for sticking with me through all this.”
I glance up and catch something gentle in his gaze—like he’s still figuring out how we ended up here, together. I smile and nudge his elbow. “You’ve come a long way.”
We slow as we reach the doors, sharing a quiet breath—an unspoken promise not to throw up.
“Good luck,” I say, quieter than I intend.
Kai meets my eyes. “You too, tutor girl.”
"TO SURVIVING EXAMS!" Beomgyu declares, raising his mug with a triumphant grin—loud enough to turn a few curious heads nearby.
The cozy warmth of the Three Broomsticks wraps around us like a soft blanket. Firelight flickers across worn wooden beams and stained glass, while the murmur of other students’ laughter and chatter fills the inn. The end-of-exam tension finally beginning to melt away. We all clink our mugs against his.
“To surviving,” Nari echoes, grinning like she’s just escaped a dungeon. “I’m so glad it’s over, I might actually remember what fresh air feels like.”
Beomgyu takes a long sip of his butterbeer, eyes glinting with relief.
“I swear my quill was doing the writing by itself by the end,” he says, slumping back in his chair. “I was just there for moral support.”
Jungwon leans back with a stretch. “I’m just glad I can stop pretending I understood anything in Arithmancy.”
I smile, glancing around at the group. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been this ready for anything to be over. No more late nights pretending to be productive.”
Nari nudges me with a knowing look. “And yet here you are, about to jump into a whole new kind of chaos. Willingly, too.”
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Right, Beomgyu—wasn’t there some little project you and Y/N were supposed to kick off now that exams are done?”
I groan. “Oh, fuck off.”
Beomgyu’s grin spreads like wildfire.
“Wow, thanks for the reminder, Jungwon.” He turns to me, eyes gleaming. “I was starting to think you’d try to run.”
“I was really hoping you’d forget,” I mumble, taking a sip.
Nari shakes her head, smiling. “Honestly, I still can’t believe he talked you into this.”
“Barely,” I say. “At this point, I’d rather have Buckbeak add me to his collection than go through with it"
Beomgyu just grins, raising his mug again.
“Too bad. Operation: Find Y/N a Date officially begins.”
「 ✦ Operation: Find Y/N a Date ✦ 」
A Choi Beomgyu Production - complete with a comedic montage series of date interviews. (Y/N: You're an idiot.)
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Interview #1 | Library
“Seriously? The library?” I whisper, shooting Beomgyu a pointed look. “We couldn’t meet literally anywhere else?”
He just leans back in his chair, completely relaxed, like this isn’t about to turn into a magical disaster. “He wanted to meet here. I didn’t have a choice.”
Before I can respond, the date arrives—a Ravenclaw boy with glasses nestled on the bridge of his nose, clutching a stack of scrolls and parchment tied neatly with a blue ribbon. And barely two minutes in, and the guy—Namjoon? Namshin? Something with an ‘N’—is already unraveling.
“If I’m honest,” he says, adjusting his glasses, “I think emotional compatibility only comes from shared trauma or, like, a serious understanding of magical theory. You know about love languages, right? Mine’s spellcraft.”
I blink. “Your… what?”
He grins and pulls out a wrinkled parchment covered in stars and scribbles. “I brought a compatibility chart. Don’t worry, it’s color-coded.”
I glance sideways at Beomgyu, who’s visibly struggling to keep a straight face. I rest my hand on the table and subtly flick him the middle finger without breaking eye contact.
I mouth, I hate you.
His only response is two emphatic thumbs up. Then Madam Pince rounds the corner and gives us a sharp, hissing “Shhh!” like the sound itself might turn us to stone.
Of course. The library.
Interview one: FAILED!
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Interview #2 | Courtyard
“Ready for this?” the next guy says, brushing his bangs back as we sit in the courtyard.
I blink. “Wait, ready for what?”
Before I can say more, he just starts singing. Loudly and painfully off-key. Right there, in the middle of the courtyard.
“When I saw you across the Great Haaaall—”
He holds that last note a little shaky, but you can tell he’s really putting his heart into it. I slump back in my seat, trying not to cringe. Beomgyu is already half off his bench, barely holding in his laughter.
When the guy finishes, he winks like he’s just won the whole thing.
I clap, slow and sarcastic. “Bold move.”
Beomgyu’s voice cracks. “That was… something.”
No questions. He just nods and walks off, clearly proud of himself. I smack Beomgyu on the arm as he starts to laugh.
Interview two: FAILED??
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Interview #3 | Gryffindor Common Room
He sits down across from me at the wooden small table and just blinks. Then he stares at the floor like he’s trying to disappear.
“Hey,” I try, keeping my voice soft.
“…Hi.”
“How are you?” I smile gently.
“I’m good…”
A long pause.
“Um… do you want to maybe tell me about yourself?”
“…”
Another awkward silence.
Then he makes this tiny squeaking noise, his cheeks flush bright red, and before we can even blink, he bolts—straight out of the common room. Beomgyu and I just watch him disappear.
“…I kind of feel bad,” I say quietly.
Beomgyu snorts. “Why? That was probably the most cardio he’s done all year.”
“Right, so,” the Slytherin guy says, spinning a sugar spoon between his fingers like he’s rehearsing a speech, “I don’t really believe in labels… but I do believe in academic synergy.”
I blink. “Academic synergy?”
He leans forward, eyes sparkling. “It means we’re intellectually compatible. Spiritually aligned. And—if you let me copy your Arithmancy notes—I’d say we’re destined.”
Beomgyu lets out a sharp breath without looking up. “Rejected.”
The guy smirks, unfazed. “Oh, I don’t take no for an answer.”
Beomgyu finally meets his gaze. “Oh? What.. are you gonna fight us or something?”
The guy stands suddenly, clutching his chest like he’s been struck by a powerful curse. “No,” he says, eyes fluttering closed. “I’m just going to faint.”
Then, all of a sudden, the guy sinks to the floor of the tea shop with a long, exaggerated sigh, one arm flung over his forehead. His robes pool around him, a little too perfectly, like he’s done this before.
What. The. Actual. Fuck
The room gasps. A few customers nearby shoot up from their seats, startled, as Madam Puddifoot herself hurries over seconds later with the dessert menu, frantically fanning him like it might help. I stand up from my seat, blinking, before grabbing the a napkin on the table and join in because I mean... what else do you do?
I glance at Beomgyu. Beomgyu shrugs, grabbing another menu from our table and starts fanning too, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Then, he leans in by my side, whispering, “Is he breathing too evenly for someone who’s unconscious?”
I whisper back, “I can see his eye twitching.”
From the floor, the guy sighs dramatically. “The agony of unrequited academic love…”
Madam Puddifoot narrows her eyes. “Get up.”
Slowly, he sits up, brushes invisible dust from his robes, and groans theatrically. Then he points at me, winks, and says, “The offer still stands.”
And just like that, he stands up and strolls out of the tea shop—completely fine. Beomgyu and I watch him leave in disbelief, before slowly following him out of the tea shop. Outside, the cold air hits us, and the gravel crunches beneath our boots as we make our way up the path. I stay quiet, still trying to wrap my head around what just happened.
Finally, Beomgyu breaks the silence. “He… fainted.”
“He actually just did that,” I say.
“This is whole thing is worse than I imagined,” I add, pressing my palms into my cheeks.
“I swear that singing guy nearly summoned thunderclouds in the school,” Beomgyu says, muffled by his scarf.
“And the first guy literally brought a scroll titled Why I’m the Best Candidate for Y/N’s Hand in the Yule Ball.”
Beomgyu stops mid-step, turns slowly. “He did not.”
Wordlessly, I reach into my coat pocket, pulling out a piece of parchment and letting the long sheet unravel in the air. He stares. Then screams.
We both start laughing—loud and breathless—until I have to lean into him to keep from slipping on the uneven path. My sides ache. His laugh goes high-pitched and wheezy.
By the time the castle comes into view, we’re still giggling like we’ve lost it. Beomgyu wipes his eyes. “We’re not even halfway through.”
“Wait,” I murmur, squinting toward the courtyard. “Is that—”
“Park Sunghoon,” Beomgyu finishes, eyes wide.
I blink, still trying to wrap my head around it. “You actually owled the Ravenclaw Head Boy?”
“I thought he said yes in a joke-y way! I didn’t think he’d actually—oh damn.” Beomgyu says, disbelief in his voice.
Then it sinks in, and my voice drops. “Oh, fuck.”
I glance at Beomgyu. “Please don’t tell me you got that Durmstrang guy involved in this, too.”
“I didn't. I swear.”
We hadn’t expected him to come—figured he’d be too busy prepping for the next task. But there he is, walking like he owns the place, hands tucked into his coat pockets, scarf wrapped snug around his neck. The breeze catches his hair just right, like it’s all part of the moment.
When he reaches us, he offers a small, calm smile. “Hope I’m not late.”
“No, you’re—” I blink, caught off guard. “Very… punctual.”
I try to play it cool. “Thanks for coming. We didn’t think you’d actually—uh, yeah. Hi.”
“Hi,” he replies softly.
“Yeah, I thought it sounded kind of interesting,” he says, his eyes lingering on mine just a moment longer than usual. “And… well, I was curious...”
“About you,” he adds easily. Then, like he realizes how forward that sounded, he gives a slight, shy smile. “And the whole selection process, of course.”
Beomgyu stifles a cough behind me.
“Right. Well,” I say, nodding toward a nearby bench, “let’s get started?”
He nods and follows me. We sit side by side, a polite distance apart, but there’s a quiet awareness between us. Not obvious, just… there.
“So,” he says, glancing over at me, “do I get actual questions, or is this more of a vibe check?”
“A little of both,” I reply, meeting his gaze. “Depends on how honest you want to be.”
Sunghoon smiles softly. “I’m usually honest. Maybe too honest.”
“You hesitated a little just now.”
“I’m self-aware,” he says with a small grin. I can’t help but laugh, and his expression softens.
Beside us, Beomgyu taps his quill. “You two want me to leave for a bit?”
I roll my eyes. “Be serious.”
Sunghoon leans back, arms crossed. “Let him stay. I kind of like the challenge.”
I raise a brow. “Challenge?”
“You’re hard to read,” he says quietly, not teasing. “It makes this more interesting.”
Beomgyu scoffs quietly at that. I don’t answer right away. The moment lingers a second. Finally, I clear my throat and glance down at my parchment. “Okay, first question: What’s your favorite winter activity?”
“Staying warm,” he says right away. “With good snacks, and hopefully with someone who won’t mind if I fall asleep halfway through a good book.”
“That’s oddly specific.”
“What can I say? I know what I want.”
I smile, and he softly curls his lips upward back at me.
Beomgyu exhales quietly. “Okay, yeah, I’m definitely the third wheel here.”
Neither of us corrects him.
And the interview hasn’t even started.
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Interview #6 | Room of Requirement
If Sunghoon is polished and poised, Soobin is something else entirely. He's softer, quietly endearing in a way that catches me off guard.
The Room of Requirement shifts again to match the moment: warm and softly lit, with low ceilings and enchanted windows casting a dusky sort of glow. Thick rugs muffle our footsteps, though here and there, worn cobblestones peek through.
Soobin nearly trips on one the second he steps inside. Then, he catches himself quickly but still looks horrified.
“I’m so sorry—I swear I saw the stone, but then my foot just… yeah. Anyway—hi.”
I glance, startled, then smile. “Hello.”
He’s gentle, in both voice and presence. He talks quietly about his love for Care of Magical Creatures, how fascinated he is by nifflers and thestrals. He admits he plays piano, but only when no one else is listening—too nervous to perform for an audience. His words tumble out unevenly, but he laughs at himself when they do, and somehow that makes the whole thing even more endearing.
Halfway through, his elbow knocks into the ink bottle. It tips, dark liquid spreading toward the parchment like a slow disaster. His eyes go wide, and his face flushes with panic.
I wave my wand quickly and clean it up. “Hey, don’t worry about it. That kind of thing happens to me at least twice a week.”
He lets out a breath, his shoulders relaxing. Then he smiles again, eased. Beomgyu has been mostly quiet, chin propped in his hand as he watches the whole thing. When Soobin stands, thanks us, and slips out the door (almost forgetting his scarf on the chair), Beomgyu leans toward me and mutters under his breath,
“...Alright, he’s kind of cute.”
I raise an eyebrow.
Beomgyu just shrugs like it’s nothing. “Whatever.”
“Now this guy,” Beomgyu mutters as Yeonjun jogs toward us, still in his Slytherin practice gear, “absolutely screams ‘walking red flag.’”
Yeonjun doesn’t hear him—but judging by the smirk on his face, he wouldn’t mind if he did. He’s still a little breathless from flying, broom slung over his shoulder, wind-tossed hair looking unfairly good for someone who just spent an hour chasing a Quaffle. He climbs up the bleachers two steps at a time and drops onto the seat across from us with the kind of easy confidence that’s probably gotten him into (and out of) trouble more times than anyone could count.
He flashes me a wink. “So, am I the first Slytherin you’ve interviewed, or just the best-looking?”
I raise a brow, amused. “Both. For now.”
Yeonjun smirks. “Good to know I’ve set the bar.”
Beomgyu’s face does not look amused at this. I hum. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves."
Yeonjun grins wider, and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “So, is this actually an interview, or just a good excuse to talk to me?”
“That depends,” I say, matching his energy. “You got real answers, or just a bag of recycled pickup lines?”
His smile sharpens, impressed. “Ohoho—I like her.”
Beomgyu, flat as stone, clears his throat. “Yeah, speaking of lines—you told Eun Ae from History of Magic the same one last week.”
Yeonjun freezes for half a beat, caught. Then he recovers with a shrug and a flash of teeth. “I have a repertoire,” he says smoothly.
“I see,” I reply, smirking.
The moment lingers—playful and just a little electric. Beomgyu mutters something under his breath and jabs his quill a little too hard, nearly tearing the parchment.
Just as Beomgyu finishes scribbling Yeonjun’s name with the words "menace to society", a gust of wind lifts through the stands.
I glance over as a group of students makes their way up the opposite side of the bleachers—Chaewon among them, laughing at something one of her friends says. She’s in Ravenclaw robes, but a couple of the girls with her wear Slytherin green, waving at the players still hovering on their brooms.
Chaewon waves back at them, then finds a seat a few rows above us. She tosses her scarf over her shoulder, still smiling as she settles in. And that’s when I notice it: Beomgyu’s gone quiet. His quill stills. He doesn’t even finish the sentence he was half-muttering.
Just the smallest shift—shoulders drawn in, lips pressed together. I catch his eyes flick up toward her, linger for a second too long, then drop back to the page like nothing happened.
But Beomgyu isn’t listening.
And neither am I.
We’re making our way back from the Quidditch pitch, the courtyard washed in late-afternoon gold. I drop onto a cold stone bench, still running Yeonjun’s interview back in my head.
Beomgyu sinks down beside me, the usual smirk on his face—but there’s something different about it tonight. It felt sharper, guarded.
I let out a sigh. “Well. That was a bit of a circus.”
He huffs a dry laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
I glance over. “Soo, anyone catch your eye?”
He shrugs, casual. But the slight curl at the corner of his mouth gives him away. “Yeonjun? All show. No substance. He’s charming, sure—but I doubt he’s in it for anything real.”
I smirk, remembering Yeonjun’s grin. “Yeah, I got that vibe.”
“What about Soobin?” I ask.
Beomgyu’s expression softens. “He’s nice. Genuine. But… I don’t think it’d work. I feel like you’d be the one putting in all the effort.”
I nod slowly, letting that sink in.
“And Sunghoon?”
He lets out a quiet sigh. “Too put-together. Like he’s performing instead of just… being himself. Something about it feels off.”
“Put-together?” I tease. "He’s literally swimming in the Black Lake tomorrow. I think he’s allowed to be a little focused."
Beomgyu smirks. “There’s focused, and then there’s ‘trying way too hard.’”
I laugh. “You’re just jealous he didn’t laugh at your terrible joke.”
“Terrible? It was a masterpiece!” Beomgyu protests. “Anyway, if I had a task for a life-threatening tournament tomorrow, I’d be too busy trying not to die to care about Yule Ball interviews.”
I grin. “Sounds like someone’s scared I might actually find someone better than you.”
Beomgyu shoots me a mock glare. “Keep talking, and you’re going alone.”
I glance at him. “You’re not really sold on anyone, are you?”
There’s a pause.
Then he flashes that familiar grin—mischievous, but quieter than usual. “Maybe I just don’t think they’re good enough.”
I raise an eyebrow. “For me?”
He meets my gaze, steady. “Yeah. You deserve nothing less.”
And just like that, whatever comeback I had disappears. Because this time, Beomgyu isn’t joking.
The Great Hall hums with the kind of noisy excitement only winter can bring. Light from the enchanted ceiling glimmers like frost, casting golden reflections on the tables below. Students chatter over half-eaten meals, bursts of laughter erupting as someone unwraps yet another extravagant owl-delivered package.
At the Gryffindor table, I’m halfway through my third spoonful of blueberry tart, seated beside Nari, Jungwon, and Beomgyu, whose expression is unusually wary.
“I’m serious,” Nari is saying, tone overly casual as she peels a clementine with exaggerated care. “A squirrel delivering the note. It's subtle. Charming. Plus: small enough to run if it goes badly.”
Jungwon coughs on his pumpkin juice. “Subtle? You’re about to send a rodent to flirt on your behalf.”
“It’s Taehyun,” Nari argues. “He’s shy, and I need an opening move that screams ‘cute and subtle’ and not ‘quiet desperation.’”
Beomgyu snorts. “You say that like you’ve ever had a soft and subtle approach in your life.”
I grin. “If you do the squirrel, I’m begging you to put it in a little bowtie.”
“I was going to,” Nari says, smugly shrugging her shoulders.
“Still can’t believe people are already getting their dressrobes owled in,” Jungwon says, glancing down the table where a group of third-years are gathered around a box with squeals of excitement. “Some families really go all out.”
“Chaewon’s probably getting owled something straight from Paris,” Beomgyu says, shaking his head.
He leans back with a groan. “Meanwhile, I’m bracing for something completely tragic.”
Nari doesn’t even look up. “You? Tragic? Highly doubt it.”
He points at her, serious. “You don’t know her taste, Nari. One time she made me wear a gold-trimmed cloak to a wedding. I looked like a cursed tapestry.”
That gets a laugh out of Jungwon and a few others nearby.
“Exactly my fear,” Beomgyu mutters. “How am I supposed to get Chaewon to say yes if I show up looking like I got dressed in the dark at Gringotts?”
Someone down the table chokes on their juice. Nari snorts. “Honestly? That might be your best shot. She’ll say yes out of pity.”
Beomgyu whines, looping his arms around mine like a clingy five-year-old. “Y/N, Nari’s bullying me again!”
I smile softly and reach up to ruffle his hair. “Aww, poor Beomgyu. Need me to rescue you from the evil witch and her wicked spells again?”
Nari laughs, shaking her head. “Of course he always runs to you when he needs a safe spot. You’re basically his personal bodyguard.”
Beomgyu shoots her a playful glare but tightens his hold on my arm. “Yeah, yeah, evil witch. Just you wait—I'll get you back.”
I chuckle, glancing between them. “You two are hopeless.”
Just then, a soft flutter of wings cuts through the chatter. Two owls swoop low—one drops a sleek, green package into the hands of a smirking Slytherin nearby. The wrapping is neat, with silver ribbon catching the light.
The other owl, a grand and glowing creature, lands right by the Gryffindor table, carrying a box so ridiculously fancy it draws some snickers. The velvet wrapping is deep red with gold embroidery, but the faded, frayed floral pattern makes it look like it was wrapped by a very old-fashioned relative.
Beomgyu’s eyes widen. He leans forward, hands pressed together like he’s pleading, whispering, “Please, please don’t be for me…”
The owl drops the heavy box beside him with a soft thud. A few Gryffindors chuckle, others shoot him amused looks. Beomgyu forces a smile, clearly bracing for whatever’s inside.
“Is that from your mom?” I ask, eyeing the gold wax seal and the expensive-looking wrapping.
Beomgyu stares at it like it’s cursed. “Why does it look like a wedding cake?”
A note is tucked beneath the bow:
Darling, I added extra flair to make you stand out! Can’t wait for pictures. Love, Mom.
“Oh no…” he mutters.
Still, he cracks the seal. Slowly, Beomgyu lifts the lid—and goes utterly still.
It’s hard to even describe it. The dress robe is a maroon velvet suit with a ruffled collar. And lace. So much lace. The sleeves are dramatically puffed, the lining is satin, and there’s a glittery gold crest stitched right over the heart. For a beat, no one says anything.
Then—
“IS THAT A BIB?” Jungwon wheezes, leaning forward to get a better look.
Nari chokes on her juice.
“Oh my Godric,” Nari says, nearly breathless. “I take everything back.”
I try to hold it in, but once Beomgyu holds the robes up by the shoulders, the entire corner of the Gryffindor table loses it. Jungwon slides down the bench, now belly laughing at the sight. Nari pounds a fist on the table, trying to catch a breath from her endless laughter. I press my face into my sleeve, tears threatening to escape my eyes.
Then, a younger student two seats down blurts, “My grandfather has that exact set!”
“Beomgyu,” I gasp between laughs, “it’s got frills on the frills.”
Beomgyu just grabs the note in one hand and the ruffled cravat in the other. “HOW,” he says, voice hoarse with disbelief, “am I supposed to get Chaewon to say yes to me while looking like a haunted opera singer?”
Laughter bursts from around the Gryffindor table.
“She might appreciate the drama,” I offer gently, trying not to laugh too hard.
“Y/N,” Beomgyu says solemnly, “if I show up looking like this, I’m basically obligated to challenge someone to a duel over her honor.”
“Please do,” Jungwon says. “And make sure it’s near the snack table too.”
While everyone else is still reeling from Beomgyu’s tragedy, I sense someone behind me—a gentle shuffle just past my shoulder. Then a light tap. I turn. Kai is standing there, looking quietly pleased and a little nervous.
“Hey,” he says. “Mind if I borrow you for a second?”
My expression softens. “Sure.”
We leave the table as Jungwon launches into a theatrical impersonation of Beomgyu as a pompous aristocrat. I follow Kai down one of the quieter corridors just off the Great Hall, where the noise fades into low, musical echoes.
Kai reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, neatly wrapped parcel. “I… meant to give this to you earlier. For helping me with Astronomy.”
I open it carefully. Inside is a tiny handmade charm—a miniature planet that spins slowly on its axis, attached to a slender cord bracelet.
“It’s nothing fancy,” he says quickly. “Just… something I made.”
My heart lifts a little. “Oh Kai, it’s perfect.”
“I know tutoring’s over, and I guess I was just…” he hesitates. “Hoping it wouldn’t mean that we’d stop hanging out.”
I meet his eyes, steady and sincere. “We won’t. I like spending time with you. And not just because you can now identify all the moons of Jupiter.”
He laughs quietly. “Even if I mix up Io and Europa sometimes?”
“I'll forgive it,” I say. “As long as you keep making things like this.”
We smile at each other—warm and simple, the way things always feel with Kai.
When I return to the table, the mood has shifted entirely. Someone's asked Jungwon who he’s taking to the Yule Ball, and he’s suddenly very invested in peeling the label off his pumpkin juice. Beomgyu is slumped across the bench, pretending to write his will on a napkin.
Nari, meanwhile, is eyeing me with a raised brow and a suspicious grin. I just slide back into my seat, the charm bracelet wrapped around my wrist. Beomgyu glances up as I settle in, his eyes flicking briefly to my hand before returning to his dramatic scribbling. He crumples the napkin with a little more force than necessary.
Around me, the table buzzes with jokes and last-minute plans, the air now tingling with nerves and excitement. But in my chest, there’s something quieter—something hopeful, new.
Like something is just about to begin.
[part two]
a/n: holy fucking shitballz bro this took me so long to write and theres still sm more to this story PLEASEEE I'll post part 2 soon but i rlly hope u guys enjoyed this (pls comment that u did) JSBDHAJSBHSH
p.s. I am completely aware that some of the personalities probs dont match exactly the characters irl, so pls take in mind this is fanfiction
⟢ Pairing: cursed writer!hueningkai x fem artist!reader
⟢ Genre: Angst, Slow-Burn, Bittersweet Ending
Summary: When love is as fragile as memory, Kai is cursed to forget everything—and everyone—he loves. No matter how deeply he feels, the magic erases him, leaving only blank pages where once there were memories. But Y/N refuses to give up, even when every day brings a new heartbreak. As she clings to the fleeting moments of their time together, she fights to keep their love alive, knowing that each day could be the last he remembers her.
In a cycle of forgotten smiles and vanished kisses, can love survive when memories are fleeting? Or will the price of holding on to Kai’s love be more than she can bear?
⟢ Word count: 9.1k
The curse had always been a part of Kai’s life, a shadow that loomed over him from the moment he understood the world. It was a dark family secret passed down from generation to generation—an affliction that claimed the memories of anyone he loved, but left the pain of their loss behind. His parents, distant and silent about it, had taught him to avoid forming attachments, to guard his heart. But the curse, no matter how much he tried to outrun it, was an inevitable fate. And in his heart, a part of him knew that one day, it would claim everything.
He was just a child when they told him. He remembered it vividly, his father’s voice trembling as he sat on the edge of Kai’s bed, explaining in hushed tones.
“Son, you have to understand… no one can escape this. It’s in our blood.”
Kai hadn’t understood at first, his childish mind unable to grasp the magnitude of what was being said. But as he grew older, the truth settled in like a weight on his chest.
The curse meant that Kai would forget everyone he loved. Every connection, every person who mattered would fade from his mind, erased as if they had never been there at all. And it wasn’t just the people who would disappear. Every feeling tied to them—the warmth of their smile, the sound of their laugh, the little things that made them irreplaceable—those would vanish too. The pain of losing them would remain, but the memories would slip through his fingers like sand, each loss more unbearable than the last.
It was a curse meant to keep him alone. And the more he thought about it, the more he understood how cruel it was. It stole memories, leaving only an ache. It was a life half-lived, a love half-loved.
But Kai couldn’t accept it.
From the moment he understood what the curse meant for him, Kai made a vow to himself. If he couldn’t hold on to the people he loved, then he would at least hold on to the memory of them. He would keep their faces alive in his mind, even if the details would fade. He would write them down, store them away like precious treasures.
He found an old wooden box one day, buried deep in the attic, and from then on, it became his ritual. Every time someone new entered his life, every time he felt his heart begin to open, Kai would write them a letter. Not just any letter, but one filled with the things he loved most about them—the way their voice sounded, the warmth of their touch, the way they made him feel safe and understood. He wrote down the moments that mattered most, as if they were the last ones he would ever have.
The box became his sanctuary, the one place where his memories could live on, even when his mind betrayed him. No one could open it but him. It was a fragile system, but it was all he had. The curse would take everything else. But the letters—those letters were his resistance.
And yet, as he sat there, writing another letter one evening, the weight of the curse pressed down on him harder than ever. The curse wasn’t just something that hovered on the horizon. It was here, now, in every moment. Every smile, every touch, every laugh, every tear. Kai knew that one day, all of it would fade away. He would forget. And the thought of it hurt more than he could bear.
It was a rainy afternoon when Kai first saw you. The kind of day that blurred the edges of the world, making everything feel like a memory that was already slipping away. You were sitting at the corner of a small café, your sketchbook open in front of you, completely absorbed in your art. The soft glow from the lamps above illuminated your figure, its warm and golden light a stark contrast to the dull and gray world around you.
Kai had never been a fan of crowded places, but on this particular day, he had no choice but to seek refuge inside. His footsteps echoed in the quiet café as he entered, shaking off the rain that clung to his coat. His gaze, as if pulled by a magnetic force, drifted to you.
You didn’t notice him at first, too focused on your drawing. Kai wasn’t sure what exactly it was that drew him in—the way your brow furrowed in concentration, the way your lips parted slightly as you hummed a soft tune to yourself, or the faintest trace of something wistful in your eyes when you paused to stare out the window.
But there was something. Something that made him pause, make a slow approach to the counter, his heart inexplicably racing.
The barista handed him his coffee with a polite smile, and Kai turned back to look at you. This time, you caught him staring.
“Can I help you with something?” you asked, tilting your head slightly, your eyes locking with his.
For a moment, Kai forgot how to breathe. He wasn’t used to this—being caught, being seen in such an open way. His eyes flickered downward, and he mumbled something about the weather before retreating to the farthest corner of the café, leaving you with a small smile on your face.
You didn’t press him, but something about his presence lingered in the air, as if he carried an invisible weight that tugged at your curiosity. Throughout the next few hours, as the rain continued to pour and the café filled with the soft hum of conversations and clinking mugs, you noticed him again and again—sitting, always with his notebook in front of him but never really writing, always distracted by something. You had no idea why, but there was an undeniable sadness about him, something hidden in the way his gaze would occasionally drift to your direction, only to quickly retreat when you looked back.
When you stood to leave, gathering your things and preparing to step out into the rain once more, Kai stood up too. It was impulsive, but something inside him urged him to speak.
“You... you’re an artist, aren’t you?” The words felt clumsy as they left his mouth. He winced inwardly, wondering why he was even talking to you. It wasn’t as if he could afford to form attachments, not with the curse always hanging over his head.
You smiled, a small, knowing smile that hinted at a playful kind of mystery. “Yes. And you?”
Kai hesitated, feeling the weight of his own silence, the years of solitude pressing down on him. But there was something about you—something about the way you didn’t look at him with pity or indifference. You simply saw him, in a way that few people ever had.
“I... write,” he replied. It was the simplest way to put it, though it felt like an understatement. His notebooks, filled with letters to himself, weren’t just a hobby—they were a lifeline.
You nodded, clearly intrigued. “What do you write about?”
The question caught him off guard. No one had ever asked him about his writing before, not in such an open, genuine way. He shifted uncomfortably. He couldn’t tell you the truth. The letters weren’t meant to be shared. They were his secret, his private attempt to defy the curse that was slowly erasing him.
But still, something about you made him want to open up, to share.
“I... write about memories,” he said after a moment, his voice quieter now. “About the things I want to remember. Even if I can’t.”
Your expression softened. “That sounds beautiful. I think everyone should write about the things they want to hold on to.”
Kai blinked, unsure of what to say. The words you spoke felt like a rare gift, a balm to a wound he hadn’t known how to address. He gave a small nod, more to himself than to you, before pushing open the door and stepping into the rain.
He never expected that brief encounter to change anything, but as he walked away, something shifted. The world felt just a little brighter, despite the persistent drizzle, and Kai found himself thinking about you in a way that felt... strange. The feeling was unfamiliar, like a forgotten dream drifting back to the surface.
And he knew, deep down, that he would see you again. That somehow, this brief moment had already begun to matter.
As the days passed, Kai found himself returning to that café more often than he ever had before. Each time, his steps led him to the same corner where you sat, sketchbook open, lost in your art. And each time, he couldn’t help but watch, his heart inexplicably drawn to the way you moved—so effortlessly, so naturally, as if you existed in a world of your own making.
It became a routine: the café, your art, and the growing, unspoken connection between the two of you. You never asked more of him than he was willing to give, and that was both a relief and a burden. He found solace in your presence, even if his mind never stopped warning him that it would all be fleeting, that he would forget you, just as he had forgotten so many others before.
One afternoon, after weeks of these quiet meetings, you sat down beside him with a cup of tea, your sketchbook resting on your lap.
“You’re always writing,” you remarked, your voice light but curious. “What is it you write about? You never share.”
Kai looked up, surprised by your bluntness, yet comforted by the familiarity of it. The way you spoke to him didn’t feel like an interrogation. It felt like an invitation, like you truly wanted to understand him.
“I write about people,” he said, his eyes flickering to the notebook in front of him. “People who matter. People I don’t want to forget.”
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Why wouldn’t you want to forget them? Seems like a burden, doesn’t it?”
Kai’s heart ached at the simplicity of your question, the innocence with which you asked. You couldn’t possibly understand the weight of what he was saying, the curse that hung over him like a specter.
“It’s... complicated,” he replied, his voice dropping to a whisper. “For me, it’s a way of holding on. Of not losing everything I love.”
You watched him for a long moment, then leaned forward slightly, your eyes filled with a quiet understanding. “You’re scared of forgetting, aren’t you?”
Kai’s breath caught in his throat. How did you—how could you—know?
“I’m not scared of forgetting,” he said, his voice shaking despite his best efforts to remain calm. “I’m scared of forgetting you.”
There. He had said it. The truth that had been sitting on the edge of his lips for so long. He knew the moment the words left his mouth that they were dangerous, but they felt so right—so necessary—that he couldn’t take them back.
You didn’t say anything at first, and Kai immediately regretted it, feeling exposed, vulnerable in a way he hadn’t expected. But then you smiled softly, the warmth of it a balm to his frayed nerves.
“I’ll make sure you don’t forget me,” you said, a hint of mischief dancing in your eyes. “How about that?”
Kai’s heart thudded painfully in his chest. How could you promise something like that? How could anyone promise something so impossible?
But instead of answering, he simply nodded. In that moment, there was no room for anything else but the aching hope that maybe—just maybe—you could break through the wall he’d built around his heart.
Weeks passed, and every time Kai saw you, he found himself writing more. Letters, poems, short descriptions—anything to capture the fleeting moments he shared with you. You were becoming his muse, the light in his otherwise bleak existence. Each word he wrote felt like an anchor, something to hold on to when the curse eventually came for him.
But then, one day, it happened. The first sign that the curse was beginning to take hold.
Kai had been sitting across from you at the café, a letter halfway finished, when he looked up and caught sight of the bracelet you were wearing. It was delicate, silver, with a small charm hanging from it that caught the light. A gift, he realized, but not from him.
“Where did you get that?” Kai asked, his voice sounding distant even to his own ears.
You looked down at your wrist, then back up at him with a gentle smile. “You gave it to me. Remember? For my birthday. We picked it out together.”
His heart stuttered, a sharp pain shooting through his chest. His hands trembled as he reached up, as if he could touch the memory itself, but it wasn’t there. The details were gone, wiped clean from his mind like they’d never existed.
“I... I don’t remember,” he whispered, his voice cracking.
You paused, and for a moment, everything seemed to freeze. The air was thick with unspoken words, and the reality of what was happening hit Kai with full force.
“I’m sorry,” he added, his voice barely audible, a lump forming in his throat. “I don’t remember giving it to you.”
You said nothing at first, just looked at him with a sadness and confusion that made Kai’s chest tighten painfully. But then, you reached over and took his hand gently in yours, the touch warm and grounding.
“It’s okay,” you said softly, squeezing his hand. “Everyone forgets things sometimes, it’s normal. Hell, I even forgot what I ate for breakfast yesterday.”
Kai wanted to believe you. He desperately wanted to believe you. But the fear gnawed at him from the inside out, the creeping sense that everything was slipping away, piece by piece. The curse was real, and no matter how hard he tried, it would take everything from him in the end.
You stood up, then, the movement fluid, graceful, almost as if you were trying to pull him out of the dark thoughts that threatened to consume him. “Let’s go buy a new bracelet,” you said, a soft, encouraging smile on your lips. “We’ll pick something even more special, I’ll get you a matching one too, then I bet you won’t forget about it.”
And despite the crushing weight in his chest, despite the growing sense of dread, Kai followed you. For the first time in a long while, he let himself hope. Even if it was fleeting. Even if the curse would one day steal this moment too, he would hold on to it for as long as he could.
The days following the incident with the bracelet were a whirlwind of confusion and emotions. Kai’s fears—those deep, gnawing fears about the curse—had started to consume him. The more he tried to push them down, the more they clawed at his insides, demanding attention, reminding him that no matter how much he wanted to keep you in his life, it would never last. Not for long.
And so, he began to pull away.
It started small—his messages became less frequent, the invitations to hang out became few and far between. Kai was careful, though. He didn’t want you to feel abandoned, didn’t want you to think he didn’t care. But deep down, he believed that pulling away was the only way to protect you. The curse would take him eventually, it always did, and if he let you get too close, you would be hurt. That was a certainty he couldn’t avoid.
You, however, weren’t so easily deterred.
After a week of silence, when you hadn’t seen him at the café or heard from him at all, you decided to confront him. You knew something was wrong, and no amount of pretending on his part could hide it from you.
When you showed up at his apartment that evening, he was sitting by the window, staring out at the city below, lost in thought. His face was shadowed, unreadable. The air between you was thick with the weight of unsaid words.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” you asked, your voice steady but full of concern. “I’ve been trying to reach you. You’ve been shutting me out.”
Kai didn’t look at you right away. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his fingers gripping the edge of the windowsill. He knew the moment you entered that room that you would ask him this question. He just didn’t know how to answer it.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he finally said, his voice quiet, barely audible. “I care about you too much to keep dragging you into this... into my mess.”
The words hit you like a physical blow, but you didn’t flinch. Instead, you walked over and sat beside him, refusing to back down. “I don’t care about your mess, Kai. I care about you.”
He let out a breath, frustration leaking through his voice. “You don’t understand. You can’t. The curse… it’s not something you can just fix.”
You tilted your head, refusing to let him push you away. “Then explain it to me,” you said softly. “What curse? What is it you’re so afraid of?”
For a long moment, Kai said nothing. His heart raced in his chest, torn between the overwhelming urge to push you away and the undeniable need to finally tell you everything. Slowly, his eyes met yours, filled with pain and regret.
“I… I forget people,” he whispered, the words seeming too heavy to speak. “The people I love… I forget them. Over and over again. Every time I get too close to someone, the curse takes them away from me. And it’s not just them I forget. It’s everything. Everything that ever mattered.”
You blinked in confusion, not fully understanding the weight of his words. “You forget them?”
“Not just memories,” he continued, his voice strained. “I forget who they are. I forget their faces. I forget their names. And when I do remember, it’s always too late. By then, they’re already gone.”
Your breath caught in your throat as you tried to process what he was saying. “That’s… that’s horrible,” you whispered. “But why didn’t you tell me sooner? You’ve been pushing me away, Kai. I deserve to know.”
“I didn’t want you to stay out of pity,” he said bitterly, his hands gripping the edge of the windowsill until his knuckles turned white. “I didn’t want you to feel like you had to fix me. I don’t want to be fixed. But I know that in the end, I’ll forget you. Just like everyone else.”
You reached out, taking his trembling hand into yours. “I’m not going anywhere,” you said firmly. “You don’t have to go through this alone. If there’s a way to break this curse, we’ll find it together.”
Kai looked up at you, tears welling in his eyes despite his attempts to hold them back. His heart ached, his mind screamed at him to push you away, but your words—your warmth—pulled him closer. For the first time in a long while, he felt something other than fear. It was a glimmer of hope.
You stayed with him that night, and the nights that followed. The two of you spent hours researching, diving into old books, talking to anyone who might have any knowledge of curses or memory loss. You scoured libraries, read through ancient texts, and even sought out experts, but time and again, you found nothing. The curse was a mystery, an enigma with no solution.
As the days passed, Kai’s fear only deepened. Every time he looked at you, every time he spoke to you, he was struck by the reality of what he might lose. But there you were, right beside him, holding his hand and refusing to let go. You wouldn’t leave him, not now.
It broke his heart to know that no matter how much he wanted to hold on to you, the curse would eventually take you from him. It was a truth he couldn’t escape.
Kai sat in the dim light of his apartment, the silence around him suffocating. The evening air was thick, carrying the scent of rain that had begun to fall outside. He hadn’t even realized how much time had passed, lost in his thoughts, paralyzed by the very thing he had been avoiding for months. His heart ached, not from the curse itself, but from the realization that the love he had for you was only going to be temporary.
It was as if his very existence had been rewritten to fade, just like his memories. The curse forced him to forget everyone he loved. Over and over again, he lost people, but the pain was always there, gnawing at him. Every time it happened, every time someone slipped through his fingers, the weight of that loss only grew heavier. He had been fine with it before. At least he thought he had been. After all, what choice did he have? But now… now that you were here, now that you were so important to him, the thought of losing you completely shattered him in ways he could never have imagined.
Kai stared down at the crumpled paper before him, the ink of his pen smeared slightly as his hands trembled. His thoughts were a mess, disjointed and desperate, the reality of his situation becoming clear in the most painful way possible. He could never confess his feelings to you. He couldn’t do that to you. The curse would take away his love, his memory of you, everything. And if he told you—if he allowed himself to truly love you—then when the curse took its toll, it would tear both of them apart. You’d be left with nothing but the broken pieces of a love that wasn’t meant to last.
And yet, he couldn’t stop the flood of emotions that overwhelmed him. Every time he saw you, every time you smiled, every time you laughed, it felt like his heart had a reason to beat again. But this was a fleeting joy. He couldn’t hold onto it. He couldn’t let you become the next casualty of his curse.
Kai took a deep breath, wiping his eyes before picking up the pen again. He wrote, not with the intention of ever showing it to you, but for himself. Maybe if he could put his feelings into words, they would somehow become more manageable. Maybe he could come to terms with this loss before it even happened.
"To my future self,
If you're reading this, then you’ve already lost her.
I don't know how, but I know it will happen. This curse... this cruel curse will erase everything, just like it always has. You won't remember her face. You won’t remember the sound of her voice, the way she laughs, or the way she makes you feel like you’ve finally found home. You won’t remember how her presence makes you feel alive, how she has this way of looking at you, this unspoken understanding, like you’re the only two people in the world.
But I need you to remember this—remember what it felt like to love her, even if you can’t remember her name. Remember the warmth of her touch, the kindness in her eyes. Hold onto that, no matter how much the memories fade.
You may not be able to hold onto her physically, but don’t let her slip completely. Don't forget how much you loved her, even if she doesn't exist in your mind anymore. You will lose everything. You will lose her. But don’t forget this: she was everything.
Please, don’t let her go, even if the curse makes you forget how much you care. She deserves better. She deserves all the love we had to give, and more. You’ll be broken when it happens. But I need you to remember… I need you to keep that love, even when you can’t feel it anymore.
I’m begging you, don’t let her leave. She’s worth every broken piece of us."
The ink dried on the paper as Kai folded the letter carefully, almost reverently, before placing it in the box with all the others. His chest was tight, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him. There was no way to stop what was coming. He couldn’t protect you from the curse, no matter how much he wanted to. The pain of forgetting you—of forgetting the very essence of you—would be unbearable.
And yet, in the quiet of his room, surrounded by the evidence of his love for you, Kai felt as if he had already lost you. The letter he had written wasn’t just a plea—it was a desperate hope. A hope that, even if he couldn’t remember you, his future self would somehow carry the weight of this love with him, and that love would be enough, even in its broken state.
But deep down, he knew it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
As he laid down that night, the letter still fresh in his mind, he thought of you. He thought of your smile, of the way your hand fit perfectly in his, of the way you had slowly, gently, found your way into his heart. He didn’t want to forget you. He didn’t want to lose you.
But he knew it was inevitable.
And that was the hardest part.
The weeks had passed in a blur for Kai. The curse, as inevitable as it was painful, seemed to be growing stronger by the day. What had once been fleeting moments of forgotten details—small things like where he left his jacket or the name of a book he had been reading—had now become unsettling, disorienting waves. It was like a fog had settled into his mind, blotting out the things that mattered most.
Kai felt it creeping in, like a cold hand around his heart. The things he cherished, the people he loved—they were beginning to fade. The memories were no longer his own to keep. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how desperately he clung to them, they slipped away. And with each passing day, the pain of losing you became more unbearable.
One evening, as he sat at his kitchen table, the candlelight flickering on the surface, he felt a chill run through him. It wasn’t just the curse this time. No, it was something deeper, more overwhelming. It was you—your absence.
He stared down at the photo of the two of you together on the table, trying to place the memories, but they were slipping further from his grasp. He had forgotten the little things first: your favorite color, the way you liked your coffee, the sound of your laughter when you told a joke. Then, he began to forget the bigger moments: the way you first met, the promises you made to each other, even the quiet, tender moments when he had held you close.
But it wasn’t just the memories. It was you. He couldn’t remember your name. Turning the photo around, he sees your name, written in black ink next to his.
Kai + Y/N = Besties Forever
“Y/N…” He whispered the name, as though testing it, hoping it would spark something inside him, but it didn’t. It felt distant, like a word he had once known but had now lost to time.
His breath hitched in his chest. "Who are you?" he thought, panic rising in his throat. "What am I forgetting?"
The panic swelled, drowning him in a deep, dark abyss. He grabbed the first thing he could find—one of the letters he had written to himself, one of the hundreds that were stored away in the box. He tore it open and began to read, his eyes scanning the words, the familiar handwriting that had once been his lifeline.
"Don’t let her leave. She’s worth every broken piece of us."
Kai’s chest tightened painfully as he read those words. His fingers trembled, the letter shaking in his hands. The words meant so much more now, piercing through the fog in his mind. They were a plea, a desperate cry from a future self who had already forgotten everything, everything that mattered to him.
“I love her.” The realization hit him like a wave, as if the memory of loving you had been hidden beneath layers of fog, waiting for this moment to break free. His heart ached with the weight of the truth. He loved you, but he couldn’t hold onto it. Not like this.
His tears blurred the ink on the page as he sank back into his chair, gasping for air. He clutched the letter tightly to his chest, like it could somehow save him from the pain. I love you, he thought again, the words so simple, so impossible. He couldn’t remember your face, your smile, the sound of your voice—but somehow, he still loved you.
The curse had taken everything from him, but it hadn’t taken his heart. At least, not yet.
The morning air was still, a fragile quiet hanging in the apartment as you waited for Kai to return from his errand. You had been visiting him more often lately, bringing him meals or simply sitting in the same room, offering a quiet comfort. The curse had taken its toll on both of you, and yet, in small moments, there was still some semblance of peace when you were together. Even in the face of the ever-growing loss, there was something deeply intimate about those moments—something you clung to.
You had arrived early that morning, hoping to surprise him with his favorite breakfast. As you set the table, you noticed something odd—a box hidden under the desk, tucked just out of sight. It wasn’t like Kai to leave things around like that, especially something so carefully concealed. Curiosity gnawed at you, and though you knew better, you couldn’t help but reach for it.
The box was heavier than you expected, the paper crinkling in your hands as you carefully lifted the lid. Inside, there were stacks of letters—neatly folded, each one dated, with Kai’s familiar handwriting on the front. Your fingers trembled as you pulled one out and read the first few lines.
At first, you thought they were just musings, idle thoughts that Kai often jotted down when he was alone. But as you continued reading, the words began to take shape, and with each sentence, the gravity of the situation became clearer. These were more than just thoughts. These were confessions.
Each letter was written to his future self—something you hadn’t known he had done. You had always known that Kai was a private person, but this—this was something else. He had been writing to himself, preserving pieces of his soul, just in case he lost them. The first few letters spoke of his growing fears, how the curse had begun to erode his memory in small, almost imperceptible ways. But with each passing letter, the tone changed. The fear turned into desperation. And there it was, one of the lines that took your breath away:
"She’s worth every broken piece of us."
The words swirled around in your mind, resonating with a pain that you hadn’t expected. You had known for a while that Kai was struggling with something—his slow drift into forgetfulness, the moments when he would lose himself completely in confusion. But you hadn’t realized just how much it had consumed him.
He had been fighting the curse, not only for himself, but for you. The love you shared had been slipping through his fingers, and yet he had been holding onto it, with every letter, with every desperate plea to himself.
Tears began to gather at the corners of your eyes. You wiped them away quickly, afraid to let them fall, but they came anyway. You couldn’t stop them. The depth of his feelings—the pain in his words—it all crashed over you. Kai loved you. And he had known, for all this time, that he wouldn’t be able to hold onto that love forever. But he had fought for it anyway, and in doing so, he had written to you, to himself, to anyone who might find the truth of his heart.
You picked up another letter, your heart aching with every word, and you read on. Each letter, each plea, each confession painted a picture of a man who loved deeply and was terrified of what was happening to him. He wrote about you, about the moments you shared, about how the curse had stolen everything but the love he felt for you. And in that love, he was still holding on.
As you read, the air around you seemed to thicken, the weight of the letters pressing down on your chest. The realization hit you like a wave—the man you loved, the man who had slowly become a stranger to you, had always known what was happening. He had always known that one day, he would forget you. But even with that knowledge, he had continued to love you with everything he had.
You sank to the floor, clutching the letters to your chest. You had always been the one to be strong for him, to offer him comfort when he needed it most, but now—now you were the one who felt lost. How could you ever show him how much these letters meant to you? How could you ever explain that even in his forgetfulness, even as the curse took more of him away, you would never stop loving him?
A sharp, painful sob escaped you, breaking the stillness of the room. You couldn’t hold it back any longer. The heartbreak of seeing his love, his anguish, all laid out in front of you—it was too much. Kai was fading, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.
“He’s fighting so hard,” you thought, your chest tight with sorrow. “But I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight this with him.”
But even through the pain, something in you refused to give up. You couldn’t let the love that Kai had so desperately held onto slip through your fingers. You couldn’t turn your back on him now—not when he needed you the most.
The sound of the front door opening made you jump, and you quickly wiped away your tears. Kai stood in the doorway, his eyes searching the room, his gaze landing on you.
“Y/N?” he asked, his voice quiet, unsure. "What’s going on?"
You stood up slowly, still holding the letters in your hands. You didn’t know what to say. The words felt like they were lodged in your throat, too heavy to escape. But in that moment, you realized that the letters weren’t just about Kai's love—they were about hope. They were about a future he wished for but feared he wouldn’t be able to reach. And you would fight with him to make sure that love, that hope, didn’t fade along with the memories.
You looked up at him, a shaky breath leaving your lips. “I found something,” you said, your voice faltering, but firm. “I found your letters.”
Kai froze, his face a mixture of surprise and guilt. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
“I know,” you whispered, your heart breaking all over again. "I know you’ve been writing to yourself. I know everything, Kai."
His gaze softened, and a vulnerability you hadn’t seen in weeks flickered across his face. The weight of your words hung between you like a thread, fragile and delicate.
“You’re not alone in this,” you said, taking a step toward him. “I’ll be here, even when you forget. I’ll help you remember. I promise.”
And in that moment, you both understood: no matter how much Kai’s memories faded, no matter how many pieces of him were lost, you would fight for him. You would fight for the love that still lingered between you—because that love, despite everything, was worth it.
The day you had been dreading arrived. You woke up with a sense of heaviness in your chest, knowing that the curse had slowly been taking more from Kai. His memory was fading, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. The letters you had found the day before had only confirmed what you already feared. But you still hoped—hoped that maybe today, Kai would remember you.
When you arrived at his apartment that afternoon, you were met with a strange silence. Normally, Kai would greet you with that small smile, maybe a joke about how you always showed up with something for him to eat. But today, there was nothing. The door was slightly ajar, and as you entered, you found him sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the wall.
“Hey,” you said softly, stepping closer.
Kai looked up at you, but there was no recognition in his eyes. His gaze was distant, clouded with confusion.
“Who are you?” he asked, his voice flat, almost disinterested. “Why are you here?”
A chill ran through you, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. It was like a punch to the gut, the way he looked at you like a stranger.
“Kai, it’s me… Y/N,” you said, your voice trembling. “You know me. Please… you have to remember.”
His brow furrowed as he stood up, taking a few steps back from you. “I don’t know you,” he said, his voice growing more firm. “Whoever you are, I don’t want any trouble. If you don’t leave, I’ll call the police.”
The words stung more than anything you had ever heard from him. The man you loved, the one who had once been your closest friend, was now a stranger to you.
Panic gripped your heart, but you forced yourself to stay calm. You couldn’t lose him—not like this. Not when you still had a chance to remind him of who he was, who you were together.
“No, no, please don’t do that,” you said, holding your hands out in a placating gesture. “Kai, please listen to me. You’re not well. You don’t remember, but we—we’ve been through so much together.” You took a hesitant step toward him, searching his face for any sign of recognition. “Please, let me show you.” You grabbed his wrist and brought it next to yours. Showing him the matching bracelet you had bought together for both of you. “We got this together. remember? We picked them out together. I convinced you to get matching ones with me, remember? Don’t you dare forget about this, I told you I made sure you wouldn’t forget”
You dropped his wrist, watching his eyes flicker as he looked at it. There was a slight shift in his expression, like he was trying to grasp something just out of reach, but the confusion still clouded his face.
“Kai, we got this to remind us both that no matter what, we were always together,” you said, your voice soft but desperate. “Every time you wore it, it was a promise. A promise that we would never forget each other.”
He held your wrist, his fingers brushing back and forth against the bracelet. There was a brief moment where you both stood there, the weight of the silence settling in. But then, he just stared at it, his face blank.
“I don’t… I don’t remember,” he whispered, his voice cracking. The words broke something inside of you, the final piece of hope crumbling.
You swallowed, pushing past the lump in your throat. “Please, Kai. Please try to remember.”
There was no answer, just the quiet hum of the room, as you realized you weren’t getting through to him. The frustration, the heartbreak, was unbearable. But you refused to give up. “I have something—something important.”
You quickly ran around the apartment, scrambling to find the box of letters you had discovered earlier. It felt like an eternity as you searched through the drawers, the cabinets, before finally finding them tucked away in the corner of his desk. You grabbed the box, clutching it tightly as you returned to him.
“Please,” you whispered, your hands shaking as you held the box in front of him. “You need to read these. They’ll help you remember. I’m not lying to you, Kai. I swear. These letters—they’re from you. They’re from your heart. You wrote them to yourself. You’ve always known what’s happening to you.”
He stared at the box for a moment, his expression unreadable. Slowly, he took it from your hands, but his confusion didn’t seem to lessen. He opened one of the letters, scanning the words with a furrowed brow.
“‘Don’t let them leave,’” he read aloud, his voice shaky. “‘They’re worth every broken piece of us.’” His voice faltered as he looked up at you, his face clouded with sorrow. “What does this mean?”
You swallowed, your heart aching with each passing second. “It means that you loved me,” you said, your voice breaking. “You still love me. Even if you don’t remember it, Kai—please, don’t forget.”
As he read more of the letters, the room grew silent except for the soft rustling of paper. And then, Kai’s composure finally broke. The letters slipped from his hands, and he sank to the floor, his face twisted in pain. Tears filled his eyes, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he was truly himself again—vulnerable, raw.
“I don’t want to forget,” he whispered, his voice shaking with emotion. “I don’t want to lose you… but it’s happening, isn’t it? Every day, I forget something. And the worst part is, I don’t even know if I’ll ever remember.”
You knelt down beside him, your hands gently reaching for his. “You will. We’ll find a way. I promise.”
But even as you spoke the words, you knew the truth—you didn’t know how much longer you could keep him from slipping away completely.
“Please don’t leave me,” he whispered, his voice so small, so fragile. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” you said firmly, your heart breaking for him. “I love you, Kai. And I’ll stay by your side, even if you forget me every single day. I’ll love you every time.”
The air between you was thick with the weight of your unspoken fears, but at that moment, there was nothing but love. Even in the face of everything, you couldn’t let him go. And neither could he.
The days that followed were a mixture of pain and small, precious moments of connection. Each time Kai forgot you, it was like losing him all over again. But each time, you reminded him of who you were, of the love you shared. Every morning, you greeted him with a soft smile, a quiet reassurance that you were still there, no matter how much he struggled to remember.
At first, it felt like an endless cycle. You would sit with him, gently telling stories of your past, hoping to jog his memory. You spoke of the first time you met, how you’d both been awkward, shy—how you had tried so hard to avoid that sudden, inexplicable pull toward each other. But something about him had always felt right, even in your early days of friendship. You reminded him of the long nights spent talking, the way you’d laughed until your stomachs hurt, how he had always been the one to help you when you needed it most.
And sometimes, when the silence between you grew heavy, you would find small ways to remind him—little touches, soft glances. You would let him trace the bracelet on your wrist, the one that matched his. The touch of his fingers against the metal, the way his hand would linger, gave you hope that maybe, just maybe, the memory of you would come back.
Kai had always been so different when he remembered. The walls he built up when he was lost in his confusion would crumble as soon as he recalled the way you had been there for him. You’d make him laugh, tell him ridiculous stories of your shared moments—those little inside jokes that only the two of you understood. You’d hold his hand as he laughed, feeling the warmth of him beside you, even if just for a fleeting moment.
There was a time, not long ago, when you sat down together on the couch after a long day. You started to tell him about the first time you painted together—how it had been messy, chaotic, but beautiful in its own way. He listened, still struggling to fully connect the pieces, but something in his eyes softened as he sat there, listening. You showed him the canvas you had both worked on, the colors that had splashed onto the surface, forming something that was imperfect but real.
“I don’t remember the first time we did this,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret. “But it sounds like something I would do.”
“You did,” you smiled, brushing your fingers over the painting. “We painted together and had a competition to see who could make the most ridiculous art. You won, but only because you made that ridiculous purple whale.”
A laugh escaped him, though it was laced with uncertainty. “A purple whale?”
“Yeah. Don’t you remember? You were so proud of it. It was huge, and it had these big, exaggerated eyes.”
His lips tugged into the slightest of smiles, the first you had seen in days. “I don’t remember that,” he murmured, but then he paused, his eyes locking with yours. “But I want to.”
“You will,” you promised softly. “We’ll keep painting. We’ll make new memories, even if it takes a thousand tries.”
And so you did. You spent hours together, making more art, more chaos, more laughter. The process was slow, but with each stroke of the brush, each color added to the canvas, Kai seemed to relax, his heart opening in ways that felt familiar, even if it wasn’t entirely whole yet.
One evening, you brought out a guitar and began to strum softly. It was something you used to do together, a way of passing the time, of reconnecting when words felt too heavy. You started with a simple melody, something that didn’t need to be said—just music to fill the space between you. Kai watched, unsure at first, but slowly he joined in, tapping his fingers against his leg in rhythm, his voice uncertain but getting stronger as you continued.
“This is how we always did it, wasn’t it?” you asked as you played. “You and me—making up songs, telling stories through music.”
Kai nodded slowly, his voice soft. “Yeah. I think… I think I remember.”
You smiled at him, the warmth between you both growing stronger with each moment you spent rebuilding what had been broken. Even if he couldn’t remember everything, even if the curse kept trying to tear you apart, you refused to let go. And Kai—though he was still lost in the fog of his memories—was holding onto you as tightly as he could.
In the evenings, after the music stopped and the painting was done, you would sit together in the quiet, just holding each other. No words were needed. You knew that as long as you kept telling him stories, as long as you kept showing him the love that had always been there, there was hope. Even if it was fleeting, even if it was only for a moment, Kai was still there. And you would never give up on him.
With each passing day, the memories might fade again. But you were determined to keep creating new ones. And when those old memories returned, you would be waiting, just as you always had been.
Even if it meant starting over each time, you were never going to let him forget that you loved him, and you always would.
Months had passed since the curse had first started, and in that time, you and Kai had settled into a fragile rhythm. There were good days—days where the fog in his mind seemed to lift just enough for him to remember fleeting moments, bits of laughter shared between you, the warmth of his hand in yours. But there were also bad days, where he looked at you with blank eyes, a stranger to him once again. Despite it all, you stayed.
Now, you lived together, sharing a space that once felt like a sanctuary but now held an undertone of pain. It was a daily battle, a fight to keep the love alive when it was constantly slipping away. But you couldn’t give up—not when he was fighting too, even if he didn’t fully understand why.
This morning, like every other, you woke before sunrise. The house was still, save for the soft sound of Kai’s breathing as he slept beside you. It was a routine at this point, you moved quietly, careful not to wake him, and grabbed your notebook from the nightstand. This had become a routine for you—to document the days, the moments you shared, the love you held onto so fiercely.
As you wrote, the words felt both familiar and painful. Yesterday had been one of those rare, beautiful days where Kai had laughed freely. You had baked cookies together, the kitchen a mess of flour and sugar, but neither of you had cared. You remembered the way his eyes had crinkled at the corners when he caught the flour on your nose, how he’d leaned over and kissed it off with a soft laugh. For a moment, you had forgotten the curse, forgotten the weight of everything that was slipping away.
But as always, reality crept back in.
You wrote, “Yesterday, you looked at me and smiled, like I wasn’t a stranger. Like we hadn’t been through this over and over again. I wish I could tell you that today would be different—that the curse will lift, and you will remember me completely.”
You paused, the words heavy in your chest. There was so much you wanted to say, but the pain of it all made it difficult. You ended the note with a final line, one you’ve written countless of time yet still feels like it had been ripped from your very soul: "Even when you forget me again, I will still love you with everything I have, Kai. I just wish you could remember that."
You placed the notebook carefully on the bedside table, leaving it open to the page you’d just written. With a quiet sigh, you climbed back under the covers and curled up beside Kai, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. You closed your eyes, trying to quiet the whirlwind in your mind, but the ache in your heart remained. It was always there, even in the moments when you were together.
Kai woke slowly, the soft light of the morning creeping into the room. He turned his head toward you, his brow furrowing as he saw your sleeping form next to him. For a moment, he simply stared at you, his mind a blur of confusion. He had no memory of the night before, no recollection of who you were in that moment. The curse had taken another piece of him, and for the thousandth time, he didn’t know you.
The room felt empty despite your presence, as if a vital part of him was missing. His eyes fell on the open notebook beside him. He reached for it, his fingers trembling slightly as he read the words. His heart pounded in his chest as he read through your description of the day, your laugh, your love. His breath caught when he read the last line, the raw emotion that poured from it. He felt something shift inside him, an overwhelming sorrow and recognition that he couldn’t fully grasp.
He looked back at you, lying peacefully next to him, and something in his chest broke. He didn’t remember all of it, but he knew, in that moment, that you were everything to him. His confusion swirled with a deep, aching emptiness. He couldn’t recall how he had fallen in love with you, but he felt it now—so painfully, so deeply.
Without thinking, Kai slid closer to you, the vulnerability in his eyes clearer than ever. He gently pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your hair, holding onto you as if you were the one thing in the world that mattered. You stirred in his arms, and without even realizing it, you clung to him, your own tears threatening to fall.
You had always known the pain of his memory loss, the ache that came with seeing him forget you again and again. But this—this was something different. The rawness in his touch, the desperate need to hold you close, even though he had no idea who you were—it was more than you could bear. You whispered his name, your voice thick with emotion.
“Kai…”
He pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours with confusion and pain. “I don’t know who you are,” he whispered, his voice raw. “But I... I know that I need you.”
Your heart clenched. You held him tighter, your tears silently falling as you pressed your cheek to his chest. “You’re not lost, Kai. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Despite the unfamiliarity, despite the confusion that still clouded his mind, Kai held you with everything he had. He didn’t understand what was happening or why his memories were slipping through his fingers like sand, but he knew one thing: you were his anchor. You were the one person who made sense in the chaos of his mind.
And for a moment, you allowed yourself to hope—hope that this time, no matter how many times he forgot you, you would never let go of him. Even if it meant living through the pain of his memory loss again and again, you would hold on. Because he was worth it. Every single time.
Rei's Notes ✎: Tadaaa, another fic again this month, I hope this gave you the feels the same way it did for me while I was writing it. I had “Would you fall in love with me again” from epic the musical on repeat while writing this.
Thanks a lot to @beomiracles for beta reading part of this story!! Lots of love to her~ Not much else to say honestly, so I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts!!!
PLOT: It is the year 2060, and you are a retired robot.
You figured you’d live a peaceful lonely life as you slowly broke down, until a broken HelperBot knocks on your door begging to use your charging pod. [WC: 13.5K]
WARNINGS: Allusions to miscarriage (not Reader). Depictions of dysfunctional relationships (not Kai or Reader). Reader is an allegory for being a child of divorce. Reader and Kai are lowkey dying. Gender Neutral Reader. No beta, we die like [SPOILERS]
DISCLAIMERS: You do not have know Maybe Happy Ending to enjoy this fic. Title based on the song “Nevertheless”
Loosely based on Will Aronson and Hue Park’s “Maybe Happy Ending”
A/N: Happy Valentine's Day! Posting this because I actually got TXT fanmeet tickets yesterday and I swore I’d finally post this if I got them. Behold, the reason behind my URL!
It was loud in the house, the kind of volume that made you sure the neighbours were filing a complaint.
Hyo-rin and Dong-jun were arguing again.
Though you were advertised as ‘smart technology’, you always found yourself confused in this house.
You were confused about what Hyo-rin and Dong-jun even liked about each other, confused about how two beings that were so different could be so enamoured with each other.
‘He knows me better than anyone else.’ Hyo-rin would tell her friends. ‘She makes me feel in a way nobody else could.’ Dong-jun whispers to his mother during a late night call. How any of this was possible was something you hadn’t been programmed to understand.
But mostly, you were confused how all these feelings the two had for each other could so quickly turn to hatred.
“You never tell me anything anymore! Why can’t you just be honest with me?” Dong-jun demands, his frustrated hands in the air waving around like a madman.
“Why bother telling you anything when you’re just going to ask the robot to snitch on me anyways?” Hyo-rin snaps back, grabbing her purse, refusing to even look at the man she married.
Dong-jun priorises honesty, you learned this long ago, but it seems your honesty with him always ends up hurting Hyo-rin. You can never figure out how you can make them happy, resulting in every argument they have always feeling like your fault. You wonder how they haven’t retired you yet.
Your memory tends to glitch and blur around this part of the memory. You learned very early on how to block out their arguments and focus on whatever mundane task they had given you.
You turn your head away from the dreadful scene and force your artificial mind to focus on chopping carrots for their dinner. Though, it didn’t seem likely either of them would be in the mood for it by the time you were done.
You felt the front door slam, the noise shaking your entire being, and you saw Dong-jun frustratedly rubbing his face as he walked to the small couch in the living room“Are you still going to eat your dinner, sir?” You asked, your voice almost glitching, similar to a human voice crack. You were unsure how he was going to react, even to such a simple question.“Not now, kid I-” He rubbed his forehead as he sighed, his eyes glistened in the harsh white light of the room and he laid down on the couch like a man who hadn’t slept in days. “I’m just going to rest.”
‘Kid’, ‘baby’, ‘honey’, ‘sweetheart’, all names typically used by a parental figure towards a child they were taking care of, and also all names Hyo-rin and Dong-jun called you. Though it was unusual for a human owner to treat their HelperBot with such affection, you usually appreciated it anyway. But right now, hearing the petname caused a pang in your metal chest, a feeling that made you feel like you were malfunctioning.
If HelperBots could want things, then you’d probably want to hug Dong-jun right now. If HelperBots weren’t programmed to complete a task as soon as it was given to them, you’d probably walk out the door and make sure Hyo-rin wasn’t leaving you forever.
But you don’t want. So you simply say “Understood, Dong-jun.” and kept cutting the vegetables.
What you really understood was love and want were human, and humans are illogical.
You were lucky the developers never programmed you to love. Otherwise it would’ve hurt when Hyo-rin and Dong-jun finally decided to retire you.
10 Years Later, YEAR 2060
Life at HelperBot Homes is simple. You live in a very small apartment, with nothing but a wireless electromagnetic charging pod, a simple wooden desk and matching chair, and a window with a view that's blocked by another building. Only the basic necessities for you, you don’t need any more, or any less.
Being a HelperBot, you have no need for a bed, so HelperBot homes didn’t take it upon themselves to provide you with one. You found it funny that your former owners had insisted you use the one in their guest bedroom back when you still lived with them. At the time, you would’ve found it sweet, like they thought of you as one of their own, but now you know it was just naive. Just a silly temporary way to pretend they saw you as one of their own, but you knew now that HelperBots would never be seen as equal to humans.
The only true sign of life in the room is your little plant, Hyo-jun, named after your two former owners, which you carefully take care of every day.
‘Hyo-jun’ is what they would have named their kid, if they had been able to have one.
“So, we bought you so we could have some help around the house when the baby finally arrives.” Hyo-rin eagerly explained as she toured you around the large house for the first time.
She was 3 months pregnant at the time. You had been excited to take care of their child, to see this beautiful couple introduce a new member to the family. They seemed so happy back then.
When you tend to Hyo-jun, you like to imagine you’re taking care of the child they never had. You carefully water it every other week, talk about the things you learned that day, and decorate its pot. It feels like a glimpse into a life you almost got, the life you were meant to have.
You have a perfect schedule that you always abide by, persevering through the little malfunctions you experience throughout the day.
“Alrighty, Hyo-jun, it's a watering day!” You carefully bend down to its level on the window sill and reach for your spray bottle. “You better behave this time, okay? The water is good for you!”
The succulent stares at you wordlessly, and you respond by picking it up and spraying it with a healthy amount of water.
“See, that wasn’t so hard!”
Being retired is freeing, it’s the closest you’ve ever been to doing what you “wanted” to do. There’s no difficult tasks, no long list of orders, no arguing, and no screaming.
But it’s not what you were made for.
You always had to live with the fact that you had essentially failed. You had failed to live your shelf life with a family you had taken care of. You’re painfully aware you were made to take care of more than just a tiny succulent, that you were made to walk farther than one end of your room to another.
There’s this constant vague sense that something is missing your artificial life.
Your mental connection to the internet was cut off as soon as you arrived, so you’re unable to search for what it may be, or how it could be helped.
Without your deviceless connection to the internet, you're essentially an ageless human being, wandering aimlessly in your room. With no entertainment, no job, and no company.
Still, you go through your life, cooling yourself when your system overheats, untangling your inner wires, hitting your metal legs when they suddenly stop working, and deleting unwanted memories to clear up your storage.
You think this is what being content is.
As you were about to place Hyo-jun back onto the window sill, you heard a knock at your door.
“HELLO? IS ANYBOT THERE?” A muffled artificial voice desperately asked. The volume makes you jolt, you nearly drop Hyo-jun.
“IT’S URGENT. MY CHARGING POD IS BROKEN AND I’M ABOUT TO-”
You hear that familiar ‘Power Off’ sound that comes out of a HelperBot when their battery dies.
You stare in shock at your door as you carefully place Hyo-jun down on the window sill.
This was the loudest noise you’ve heard since you entered HelperBot Homes. Your ears only ever listened to far off construction sounds or distant doors opening and closing. You haven’t heard a single voice in years.
You look around your room, as if trying to find someone else who could help the Bot behind your door. You obviously find nothing, and you decide to carefully open the door.
You read for the dusty door knob you haven’t touched in years, and slowly turn it around.
As the door gently opens, you’re greeted with the sight of a male HelperBot.
Due to being off, he’s slightly slouched over and his eyes are closed.
His body is frozen in time, his hand is up and closed mid-knocking motion.
You carefully observe him, trying to make sure you fully understand what’s in front of you.
You recognise the model, which must mean he was created before you were retired. You hesitantly move forward and pull down his collar to reveal faded blue words printed onto his fake skin reading ‘HelperBot Ver. 3’ on the side of his neck.
His clothes are worn and dusty, as if he hadn’t changed since the moment he was retired. There’s some scratches on his fake-skin, revealing the metal he was created from, you can tell he’s been retired for a while.
When you feel like you’ve thoroughly analysed the Bot in front of you, you carefully and awkwardly pick him up, placing your hands on his waist and slowly backing up into your room.
You place the bot onto your electromagnetic charging pod, which you only ever use once a week.
HelperBots are made to only charge once a month, but being slightly more worn down and broken, your battery depletes quicker. The reason HelperBots have to be sent to a retirement home is because nobody wants to buy a used, broken, old HelperBot. You are painfully aware of this fact.
Once the Off HelperBot’s properly placed on the charging pod, you stand awkwardly for a few minutes, waiting for him to power on again.
As the minutes go by, and it takes longer and longer for him to turn on, you realise that this HelperBot’s battery life must be even more damaged than yours. No wonder he was retired.
As more and more time passes without any result you start worrying that he’s not going to turn back on. Do Model 5 charging pods even work on Model 3s? Maybe you should find another HelperBot to take care of him.
You’re sitting sideways on your chair, fiddling with your metal fingers nervously when suddenly, his body straightens up, the shock makes you almost fall backwards, seeing his movements, you straighten yourself as well.
When his eyes open, a panicked look falls upon his face.
“I’M ABOUT TO SHUT DOWN AND-” His voice slowly fades when he spots you in front of him.
The model 3 turns his head side-to-side and observes your room, quietly piecing together what must’ve happened. You suddenly feel really self conscious about how empty the place is.
“You charged me!” The bot exclaims happily, politely clapping his hands together. He looks down to make sure his feet are firmly planted on the charging pod’s foot markers. “Thank you so much, I-I was about to shut down!”
You haven’t been around anyone in 10 years. And since Hyo-rin and Dong-jun picked you up from the HelperBot store over a decade ago, you haven’t been around any other Bots.
Instinctually, your polite mannerisms and speech return to greet him. “No worries, Sir. I am happy to help whenever you need.”
He looks at you oddly, getting almost flustered at those words. “Oh, hey! No need to call me ‘sir’, I’m just like you!” He laughs so casually. “You can relax.”
You’ve never heard a HelperBot laugh like that. You’ve generated a polite laugh before, and you’re programmed to make a loud guffaw when your owner makes a joke, but his laugh sounded… genuine. Was this a special Model 3 feature that was removed before you were created?
“Would you like me to take a more relaxed form of speech with you?” You ask.
“Just be you,” He encourages with a slight shrug. “Don’t be shy, we’re all the same here.”
You nod, unsurely. “Hi.”
“Hi!” He says with a beautiful smile. “I’m Kai, I’m a Model 3, that works in Jeju Island, I was sent here for a temporary vacation 10 years, 1 month, and 1 day ago.” He reaches out his hand, careful not to accidentally move off the pod.
You stayed silent, processing his words as your body automatically moves to reciprocate the handshake.
You were confused, HelperBot Homes is a retired robot facility. There were no such thing as ‘temporary robot placements’ when you arrived.
You’re intrigued by him. You realise that despite him being an Older bot, he was retired after you. It makes you feel a bit ashamed.
You notice his gaze moving around your apartment. He’s making an effort to really take in your room, but you spot a frown on his face when he slowly realises just how… empty it all is.
You decide to hold your tongue and introduce yourself too. “I’m a Model 5, and I retired 10 years, 5 months, and 30 days ago. I also used to work in Jeju Island.”
Kai formed a frown once again. “Your owners never gave you a name?”
You shake your head in response. “They didn’t find it necessary.”
“That’s sad,” He pouted, crossing his arms. “Jaeah, gave me a name the day she got me.”
You almost want to snap back and defend your owners' choice, but instead, you just shut your mouth and change the subject. You assume Jaeah was or… is his owner?
“You’re very pretty.” He suddenly says. “I mean, I’m loyal to Jaeah, but you were designed very nicely.”
Your eyebrows raise, you’ve never received a compliment about anything that wasn’t housework related. HelperBots, to your knowledge, weren’t designed to compliment anyone that wasn’t their owner, so you have no clue why he would want to say this to you. Your face suddenly feels like a rush of heat was sent to it.
“I-I uh, you too. I think you’re very aesthetically pleasing.” Now you’re stumbling over your words? What is happening to you?
You shake your head and decide to ask the question that’s been bugging you. “You said you were here on temporary vacation. What do you mean by that?”
“Oh, well, Jaeah will be picking me up any day now. She only dropped me off here for a change of scenery.” He laughs. It sounds a bit forced this time. “We rarely ever leave the house.”
If he were human, you would have held off your curiosity for fear of making him uncomfortable, but considering he’s a machine, you don’t mind asking. “Why?”
“Oh uh, she’s quite sick.” His friendly smile drops for a second before coming back, his somber tone changing to an optimistic one. “But shesays doctors say she’s been getting better! She should be well by now, surely! I’m sure she’ll be fully recovered when she picks me up.”
You nod, but find yourself frowning, unsure if you believe his story yet. It’s hard to trust that a human who left 10 years ago would come back. Yours certainly haven’t.
Kai spots you frowning and starts to worry. “I hope I’m not bothering you by being here! I’ll stop talking if you want. Actually, I’m 15% charged already! My charger might be working already, if you want me to leave I-”
You stop him right before he moves off the pod. You don’t know why, but something inside you tells you not to let him go, to keep talking to him.
You’re a HelperBot, you’re supposed to help… right? That’s what you tell yourself to justify whatever your motivations are.
“No,” It comes out so suddenly it’s almost a plea. “No, I uh… I doubt you’d find another charging pod before you lose power again.”
Kai’s expression softens and his stature relaxes. “I’ll only accept as much help as you want to give me. You can kick me out at any moment and I’ll understand.”
“I can only give as much help as you let me.” You sigh. “What are you going to do if your charger doesn’t work?”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine by the time I’m finished charging…” He clearly doesn’t believe his own words. Kai looks down at your beige rug almost sadly. “But… I’d hate for Jaeah to pick me up uncharged. I’ve been getting… slower for some reason.”
You realise Kai probably doesn’t realise he’s breaking down. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to think about it. He looks around, thinking about if he wants to say what’s on his digital mind. He rubs the back of his hand nervously. “Could I just… knock on your door if I need to?”
“I’m a HelperBot, I was made to help.” You give your best supportive smile. “I was made to help you.”
Kai sighs with relief, “Thank you very much.”
And so, from that day on, Kai would knock on your door when he was at 15% or lower, and he’d strike up a conversation whenever he could. Being an older, more broken down robot, he had to come around often. But he refused to acknowledge it.
There’s something nice about getting to talk to someone, but you refused to acknowledge that too.
DAY 2
For the first time in 10 years, you left your room. And you didn’t even think about it.
You had shut yourself off for the night, but Kai knocked on your room, wearing ‘2060’ new years glasses and turned you back on.
“Come on, friend, let’s go watch the fireworks.” He pulled you out of your room and dragged you out of the apartment, kindly explaining to the guard that you two were only going to stay in the parking lot.
You opened the trunk of your car and you two sat inside together. You had a blanket, pillows, sparklers, and balloons with you (Kai wanted to go all out, despite the fact robots don’t use any of these things). With the trunk door as your roof, you two looked up at the sky, waiting for the fireworks.
“I used to watch this all the time with Jaeah.” He places a hand on top of yours. “She’d hold me as the year started because she wanted to start and end the year with me.”
You’re still not used to hearing Kai talk about his ‘romantic’ experiences with his owner.
“This will be my first time seeing fireworks.” You explain to him, unable to recall what they look like. It’s not like you can even look it up. You’re currently imagining hot rings of fire in the sky.
“Okay, I know you never go outside, but didn’t you at least see fireworks when you weren’t retired?” He quizzes, genuinely upset.
You close your eyes and search in your head.
SEARCH: Memories from [49/12/31]
RESULT: [THIS MEMORY HAS BEEN DELETED]
SEARCH: Memories from [48/12/31]
RESULT: [THIS MEMORY HAS BEEN DELETED]
You open your eyes back up at Kai and shake your head. He responds with a pout. “Well, I’m glad I could show them to you for the first time, friend.”
He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you into him right as the sky blooms into colourful lights.
Red, purple, blue, gold, and green, it all shimmers in your vision. You hear ringing bells and see people with sparklers.
You tilt your head up to look at him, and for some reason, you prefer to watch the fireworks in the reflection of his eyes.
DAY 3
After an awkward moment of silence, Kai decided to look around your room like he always does, and his eyes finally spotted Hyo-jun, who was slightly hidden on your desk today.
“What’s that?” He points curiously. Head slightly tilting as he leaned forward to get a closer look.
“A plant.” You reply blankly.
“I can tell!” He laughs, luckily, he doesn’t look offended. “But, I mean, your room is so bare, I’m surprised to see a cute little plant here.”
You look at Hyo-jun, then back at Kai, thinking about how much you’re ready to share with him. Are you really ready to talk about Hyo-rin and Dong-jun with a Bot you barely know?
Looking at Kai’s smiling face suddenly makes you realise how long it’s been since you got to talk to someone, let alone about your owners.
Kai’s been talking about Jaeah since the day you met him.
Now it’s your turn. You want to talk about Hyo-rin and Dong-jun.
“Hyo-jun was given to me by one of my owners, Dong-jun.” You find a sad smile making its way onto your face, it’s an expression you’ve never felt before. Your hand moves to curiously touch your face and feel the unfamiliar expression.
You look up and realise Kai is still looking at you intently, apparently very invested in your story, considering you’ve never talked about your owners before.
“He uh- he loved plants, and taking care of things, I admired that about him, so I try to take care of Hyo-jun.”
Kai tilts his head at you with an inquisitive smirk. “There’s a story behind that name.”
You’re deeply fascinated by his ability to analyse you. “You must’ve analysed behaviour a lot back with your owner.”
You give in to him and say what he wants to hear. “Yeah, Hyo-rin and Dong-jun wanted to name their kid Hyo-jun. I was so ready to take care of Hyo-jun, but he just… never came. Plant Hyo-jun is the closest thing I ever got to a little owner. And now, being retired, Hyo-jun is the closest thing I have to any owner at all.”
You find yourself looking away from Kai, after such a vulnerable admission. It’s the first time you’ve ever felt shy. You used to be able to talk about anything taboo without a twitch, but now you feel almost… embarrassed.
It’s not something you’ve ever done.
Have you ruined how Kai sees you by talking about yourself too much?
“You just want to make everything about you! How do you think I feel?!” You remember how the sweet caring voice of Hyo-rin turned angry that day. You were hanging up their clothes to dry outside, but that didn’t stop you from hearing their voices.
Making everything about you makes Hyo-rin upset. Noted.
This was before you learned how to silence their voices in your head. With all the noise, you found yourself struggling to get the task at hand done. Your hands would shake while trying to clip the clothes to the hangers.
“Am I not allowed to have feelings? This was going to be my child too! I lost something too!” Dong-jun retorted. You heard his fist slam against a wall which shook you to your metal core.
Emotions always seem to cause fights. Hyo-rin might be too angry or Dong-jun might be too sensitive.
“How could you smile at this?”
“Can’t you just smile for once?”
“Why do you always have to be so mad?”
“Are you not angry at this?”
It's always emotions that are the problem.
Don’t try to emulate emotions, be a machine.
You should delete this memory.
You look off into the building wall across your window before Kai starts talking again.
“About analysing people,” Kai breaks the silence, admitting something personal in response to your confession. “Yeah, I needed to do daily check ups on Jaeah in case something was wrong with her health.”
You nod, very appreciative of his ability to try and make you feel better. He probably learned to do that all the time with Jaeah.
“I became good at analysing her behaviour and symptoms.” He fiddles with his fingers. “But, I also just love to look at her. I look at her face, every little frown or twitch, I love to figure out what she’s thinking about.”
Love. What a human word. You find yourself confused again, and you remember why you haven’t talked to anyone in 10 years.
“Love.” The word tasted odd in your mouth. “You… love? How is that even possible?”
“I know, most HelperBots don’t think they can. We weren’t programmed to do it, but it’s possible! I know it! I feel it when I’m with Jaeah.” He exclaimed, suddenly very excited to discuss this topic. His hands shake, almost like he’s been waiting to talk about this.
HelperBots don’t love, that’s one of the only benefits of being one. Not having to deal with this emotional complication. The fact you don’t have to see someone and need them, it’s a blessing.
You’ll never be the Dong-jun to somebot’s Hyo-rin.
Falling in love, feeling betrayed, breaking your heart? Those are human flaws that you were never programmed with, and shouldn’t be possible for you to experience.
You’re glad.
You don’t want to burst Kai’s bubble, but you don’t want to encourage his behaviour either.
“But we weren’t programmed to have emotions. How could you experience something that only humans are capable of?”
His expression becomes uncomfortable, and he goes silent for a moment.
“I think I’m fully charged.” He says, stepping off the charging pod. “I’ll go.”
DAY 6
Kai walks in and places 3 books on your window sill.
“What are those for?” You ask curiously.
“For your entertainment.” He boops your nose as he backs himself onto the charging pod. “Your room was looking pretty bare, so I figured it might be nice to have something to look at other than Hyo-jin.”
Your system warms up slightly at those words. You’re very surprised that he would do something like this for you, and it’s a surprisingly pleasant feeling. You knock at your chest to make sure your inner fan is working.
“What did you do that for?” Kai tilts his head like a confused puppy.
“Oh, well, Model 5s break down easier. I need to make sure my inner system is still working every once in a while.”
Kai nods understandingly. “If you ever need help, I’m made to help.”
You smile at the offer. “I’ve never been helped before.”
DAY 9
When you hear Kai knock, you go to open the door, only to be stopped by your legs freezing in place. Literally.
“Uh, Kai, could you open the door yourself? I can’t seem to move.” You awkwardly call out.
Kai immediately opens the door concerned. He kneels on the ground and observes what seems to be wrong.
“Can you try moving?” He says, voice slightly slowing down as his battery depletes.
You’re concerned for him, but you know he won’t get up until he knows you’re alright. You make an effort to bend your knees, and it takes a while but eventually you’re able to get your legs fluidly moving again. If you were human, you’d be flustered at the lack of distance between you and Kai, but you know not to think anything of it.
“I used to do this with Jaeah,” He explains, standing back up and wrapping your arm around his neck and carrying your legs in a bridal position.
It reminds you of a photo Hyo-rin and Dong-jun had of each other back at home. He places you down on your desk chair. “Jaeah also had a hard time walking.”
He walks to the charging pod himself, you can tell he’s still slightly concerned about you. Until he turns back to look at you with a bittersweet smile on his face.
“Y’know, you remind me a lot of her.”
DAY 10
“Jaeah hired me after her late husband passed.” Kai explains one day. “Her kids moved out, and her human helpers retired, so she got me.”
You’re fascinated by Kai’s relationship with Jaeah, it doesn’t seem logical, but you’re very much interested to learn about the emotions Kai seems to be experiencing.
“She never treated me like a bot, she always treated me like… a friend. We would dance together, watch films together, cook together, and I know you don’t believe I can, but I… I know I fell in love with her. It was so easy, it just made sense.”
Kai smiles like a giddy kid, you swear he might even be blushing somehow.
“If you two loved each other so much, why did she send you here?” You genuinely ask.
Kai thinks for a second, placing a hand on his chin. “I’m not sure. She just told me she wanted me to get out of the house for once. She looked a bit sad to be away from me, but she promised that she’d see me soon.”
Why would a human lie like that?
“Where could Jaeah be? Why is she taking so long? Why would she make a HelperBot do anything other than help? I’m so confused about all of this.” You can’t help but admit all of your thoughts out loud.
Kai gives you a sympathetic look, you don’t doubt that he’s been confused about this too. “With humans, and especially with love, everything is confusing. You just have to trust your heart.”
You want to mention that you don’t have a heart, but the objective part of you seems to shut down when you focus on the bot in front of you.
“Y’know sometimes I wonder if she…” Kai frowns for a second, rubbing his arm comfortingly. “No, that’s bad to think about. Nevermind.”
DAY 12
Today, Kai didn’t need to charge but he came to you anyway.
He even brought in his radio today, and he’s been playing popular love songs from the 20s.
As the music plays, he reaches out both of his hands for you. You give him a confused look.
“Come on, let’s dance! I’m a pro at this, I did it all the time with Jaeah.” Kai encourages, and you roll your robotic eyes but decide to indulge him to make him happy.
He holds one of your hands up in the air and places the other hand on your waist. He even lets you twirl him around.
You find yourself laughing, a genuine laugh, but your voice glitches out, the laugh coming out extremely choppy.
“Oh no! Are you okay?” Kai asks, his hands cup your face, which makes you overheat.
“I, uhm– yeah! Considering that I can’t feel pain and all.”You reply, staring at him. You think you feel his system overheating too.
DAY 17
Kai invited you to visit his room, he wanted to show you what a fully decorated HelperBot room looked like. He’s got multiple books, a radio, origami flowers, paper cranes, and even stuffed animals. It’s even got a bed, despite the fact he obviously didn’t need one.
Kai plops himself down on the bed and invites you to join him, which you politely decline.
The room felt so lived in, with so much personality.
Kai really learned how to be his own person.
You wonder if it was too late for you to become your own too.
DAY 25
You had practically memorised Kai’s schedule already. You knew exactly when he’d arrive, which makes it weird that he didn’t arrive yet today.
You open the door, frowning impatiently, wondering where he could be.
You look right and are greeted by nothing but an empty hallway, you look left and–
“Boo!”
You laugh as you push the brunette Bot backwards. “You, dork! That’s so mean!”
“You’re so cute when you’re waiting for me.” He says slyly, pinching the fake skin on your cheek as he enters your room.
You cover your face in embarrassment as you walk back into your room.
DAY 26
Kai knocks on your door. In response, you lock it.
You hear him huff behind the door. “Come on, let me in! I know you want to~”
You roll your eyes at his cockiness and let out a firm “No!”
You bend down to look at him through the door peephole, to which you see a warped but pouty Kai, with his arms crossed.
You laugh at his adorableness and finally unlock the door. “I’m just kidding, come on in, Kai. I wanna hear you sing the song you wrote for Jaeah.”
DAY 30
Kai was just staring at you. It was completely silent, he was halfway charged, and he was just staring at you.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You quip, in the middle of reading one of the books he had lent you.
“Can I name you?” He blurts out.
You shut your book in surprise. “Give me a name? Why?”
“I just feel like you deserve one after 10 years.” He tilts his head, as if trying to figure out what you look like.
He clearly has something in his head that he’s unsure is correct.
“C’mon,” you nudge him. “Say what’s on your mind.”
“I was thinking… ‘Y/N’.” He smiles, shyly.
“‘Y/N’? That’s an… interesting name.” You muse.
“Y/N is the main character in a book I lent you!” He explains, pointing at one of the other books on your window sill. “They also don’t believe in love, at least, in the beginning of the story. They remind me a lot of you.”
“Ha. ha.” You give a deadpan sarcastic laugh. “Sure, Kai. You can call me Y/N.”
“Yay!” He squeals with joy. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N! You’re so Y/N, it fits you so well!”
You laugh at his sweetness, and shake your head. You suppose it does fit.
You have a name now.
DAY 34
Kai taught you how to make paper cranes from book pages. He told you that if you make 1000 cranes, you’ll get a wish. He shows you his collection in his room, he claims he just keeps losing count, but you can tell he’s made over 3000 already.
He keeps his wish a secret, but you think you can guess what it is.
DAY 35
You finally let Kai water Hyo-jun after he begged you for weeks, and it made him jump with joy.
You realised you really enjoy giving him what he wanted, and you decided that maybe you could allow him to water Hyo-jun every once in a while.
Something about the way he smiles… it makes you feel broken.
DAY 41
Kai tells you the story about his first kiss with Jaeah, you can’t figure out why, but you didn’t like the story. It’s not the first time he’s told you, you notice he has a habit of forgetting what he has and hasn’t told you already, but you listen intently like it’s the first time every time.
Something about a long night of him taking care of her, or maybe it was underneath the cherry blossoms in spring, you already blocked out the details.
Maybe it was too intimate, maybe it felt like he was showing off,
or maybe you were just jealous.
After he leaves that night, you find yourself thinking about him longer than you usually do. You notice how empty the room feels without him.
You wonder what it must feel like to kiss another HelperBot.
DAY 45
“What exactly is love?” You ask Kai. You’re sitting in his room today, it’s the day before ‘Valentine’s Day’ and he makes paper flowers for Jaeah every year just in case she visits.
He tilts his head at you. “Weren’t your two owners in love?”
You frown, trying to recall any memory of your owners acting ‘in-love’ but all you see in your head are glitches or flashes of the words “[THIS MEMORY HAS BEEN DELETED]”.
You shake your head. “No, I don’t think they were in love. Or at least not anymore.”
Kai glues a paper rose onto a painted green stick and gets started on a paper tulip. “Well, I think it’s different for every bot, for me… Love is when you want to do whatever you can to make someone happy, when all you want to do is spend time with them. Sometimes it hurts when you’re without them.”
You frown. “Isn’t that normal?”
“Well, isn’t love normal?” Kai insists as he finishes folding his tulip.
That’s odd, you experience all of this when you’re with Kai.
DAY 57
You read one of the romance books Kai gave you. He says he’s read it before, but has already forgotten most of it.
It’s a story about a sweet couple, Oliver and Claire, two people that meet on a rainy day and have to pretend to be a happy couple while on the run from the law.
You two were so invested in the story that he stayed until late night, even after he finished charging. You two sat on the floor, Kai’s head on your shoulder, just reading.
It felt nice.
DAY 58
Kai came back early the next day so you two could finish reading the book together.
Once you had finished, you two couldn’t stop talking. You two imagined a stage adaptation of the book where you two played the main characters.
You being Oliver and Kai being Claire, of course.
DAY 62
“Do you really think she’s coming soon? It’s been 10 years. I might’ve started… doubting… after that long.”
Kai nods slowly, he’s sitting on your desk chair, folding another paper crane. He must’ve folded at least 20 today. “I know most people would but… I trust her. I just worry that something… something bad might’ve happened to her that stopped her from coming back for me.”
“Oh, Kai.” You sigh sympathetically, you bend down to give him a hug. You found yourself doing more of these physical human actions recently, but only with Kai.
“I know.” He rubs your back.
“That’s why I’m planning to go to her myself.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You should come with me, Y/N! I can tell you love your owners too, and they live around the same area! We could find them together!” Kai excitedly suggested, jumping out of his chair.
“You want to go to Jeju island? Are you– Kai, we’re not even supposed to leave the home, we’re retired!” You said exasperatedly, Kai believing he was in love with his owner was enough nonsense to deal with, how could he believe that he could just go to her? It was illegal!
“We won’t be ‘retired’ when we return to them! They’ll surely take us back, they love us!” He places air quotes around the word ‘retired’, clearly believe he isn’t retired yet.
“I’m a HelperBot, Kai, they did not love me.” You grit your plastic teeth together.
“From the stories you told me, I think they did.” He looks directly into your eyes when he says this. “They treated you like you were their child. They loved you like one of their own, Y/N.”
“Oh, honey, it’s yours!” Hyo-rin said, showing off a new car in the driveway. It was a brand new silver Hyundai car, way too nice for a simple HelperBot like you.
“Oh, madam, you didn’t have to.” You reply. Your chest felt warm, it was such an unnecessary gift, you were perfectly fine just walking or riding in her car wherever you needed to, but Hyo-rin seemed so excited to give it to you that you couldn’t deny it.
“I know, but I hate knowing you have to walk all the way when you need to run errands while I’m at work!” She gives you a side hug as she rests her head on your shoulder. “You’re part of the family now, you need your own things.”
Maybe you were part of the family back then, but you were a robot at the end of the day. She chose to retire you. She didn’t want you anymore.
As you were lost in your thoughts, you could see Kai going on and on about his plans with a big smile on his face.
“And when we get off the ferry, depending on when we get there, we might catch the cherry blossoms, or even the fireflies! Gosh, I keep forgetting what month it is…”
“I…” You didn’t know what to say. You hadn’t even left your room before you met Kai, now he wanted to take a secret road trip that could get you two decommissioned? All for three owners that would probably turn you away the minute you knocked on their door?
But looking at Kai’s hopeful expression, it infected you, and you remembered you were made to help.
And you really liked making Kai happy.
So you shut your eyes and nodded along.
“We’re going to Jeju.”
You had to ask around the other bots on your floor, but you eventually were able to borrow a travel charger. It’s not as quick or durable as the charging pod that was built into your floor, but it was foldable and good for long trips with your HelperBot.
You packed 3 days worth of clothes (plus an extra pair), a little basket for Hyo-jun, and a wallet full of money that Hyo-rin and Dong-jun were kind enough to give you, but you were never able to use.
When Kai knocked on your door, you knew it was time
.
You opened the door to his immediate rambling, his eyes glues to a checklist.
“Okay, so I brought Will the Bear, and I also brought Hue the Tiger so he wouldn’t be lonely. I brought two books in case we got bored on the ferry, and I spent all night making a playlist for us to listen to in your car! I hope I packed enough–”
“Kai, calm down.” You place a hand on his shoulder to ground him.
He pauses, shutting his eyes for a few seconds before he comes back to earth.
“Yes! Yes, I’m just… so glad I’m gonna see Jaeah again.”
Ah, right. That’s what this trip is for, you almost forgot.
This isn’t just a fun rebellious road trip with Kai, this is potentially the last moments you have with him before his owner takes him back. It makes you feel a bit unbalanced, but it’s too late to back out now.
“Kai, I think you should change.” You say before you can stop yourself.
“Huh, why?” He looks down at his old, worn outfit. “This is the last thing Jaeah saw me in, if I change, she might not recognise me!”
“Kai, she loves you, and your face has never changed, she’ll know it’s you.” You reason, brushing off some dust on his shoulder. “You want her to see you looking your best, don’t you? You should wear something more sleek, and clean.”
He thinks for a moment before he nods and returns to his room.
You tell the guard outside the building that you’re just going to get some room decoration from the nearby mall, and he merely grunts in response, so you know you’re in the clear.
You hold the basket containing Hyo-jun and Kai’s stuffed animals carefully in your hands and wait for Kai outside your car.
“I hope you’re getting along with Will and Hue, Hyo-jun. They’re going to be with us for the whole trip.” You whisper to the basket. The guard at the gate gives you a weird look, but he shrugs and looks away.
You see Kai walk out the building, greeting the guard politely, carrying his gigantic bags, in a clean white dress shirt and red tie that makes him look extremely handsome.
Your thoughts load for a few seconds before you smile and compliment him. “You look fantastic, Kai, Jaeah will be blushing when she sees you.”
Kai tilts his head as he looks at you. “Your smile looks like hers.”
Your face freezes for a second before you let out a tiny laugh and move to place your bags in the back seat.
“No, let me.” Kai takes your bag and basket and places it inside the car along with his. He even goes out of his way to open your driver’s seat door.
You smile gratefully and get in the car, opening the passenger’s seat door from the inside to reciprocate his politeness.
Once he gets in and you start the car, he opens a map, guiding you along the way.
It’s quiet for a white, but a couple minutes in he speaks something that isn’t a direction.
“Hey, Y/N. Wouldn’t it be a bit suspicious to see two HelperBots walking around without an owner to claim them?”
You sigh, keeping your eyes on the road. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“Hey, it’s fine! All we have to do is pretend we're human! It won’t be that hard. We need to come up with a name for you.” He ponders, looking around the car for inspiration until he spots his bag.
“Oliver! You could be Oliver, and I could be Claire, like the book!” He enthusiastically suggests. “Now we can really play our dream roles.”
“Won’t people get that it’s a reference?” You ask.
“They’re common names, we can just say it’s a funny coincidence.” He shrugs simply. He reclines his seat and places his hands on the back of his head, like he’s relaxing on a beach. “How did we meet?”
You shrug, moving the steering wheel and taking a right. “On a rainy day, just like Oliver and Claire.”
“No, that’s too on the nose, let’s be more original!” He places a hand on his chin, thinking once more.
You look at the car radio, it’s playing one of Kai’s favourite songs by some niche artist he likes. “How about, you’re an underground musician, and I’m your biggest fan?”
Kai’s eyes light up at the idea. “Yes! We met after one of my gigs and we decided to go on a date that same night.”
You were surprised that he immediately decided you two should be a couple, but you found yourself fond of the idea. “You would ask me to dance when other musicians would play, and you’d sing songs just for me when we were alone.”
“You always supported me, even when my dreams seemed impossible, and you continue to follow me even if I’m unsuccessful.” He says, a dreamy look in his eyes as he stares into the sky. “Why is this so easy to imagine?”
“Maybe it’s what happened between us in another life.” You suggest, leaning into his romantic point of view.
“I don’t think we get anything more than this.” He admits, he unreclines his seat and gives you a little shrug. “That’s why we need to make the most of this one.”
You look at him, not expecting that answer. “Huh, you surprise me constantly, Kai.”
Kai looks back at you, and you can’t help but understand why Jaeah loved him so much as you look at him bathing in the afternoon sunlight shining through the windshield.
“You surprise me too, now make a left on the.”
“What do you mean?” Kai chuckles as he gets his words out.
During sunset, you two found yourself playfully arguing about a song Kai played. A song from the 20s he got from Jaeah, where the male singer is trying to earn the forgiveness of his girlfriend.
“This song is literally one of my favourites!” He exclaims dramatically.
“The singer isn’t apologising at all! He clearly cheated and lied to his girlfriend, but he’s just making excuses for it!” You defend your opinion light heartedly, keeping your eyes on the road.
Kai thinks about what you just said before groaning.
“Ugh, you’re right!” Kai groans his head in his hands.
“There, there, the song still sounds good, I understand why you like it.” You say comfortingly, you giggle at his reaction and take one hand off the steering wheel to pat his back.
He rises once again to look at you. “Y’know I appreciate how honest you are with me. Even when we disagree, you provide me with a new perspective. That’s something special about you.”
Special. You’ve never been special. You were always just one of many Model 5s made to serve a household. A personalityless, soulless, empty machine. But Kai’s been showing you that you could be more, and now you’re being more.
You find yourself with a happy expression as you stare at the sun setting against a pink and purple sky.
Kai’s laughter turns into silence and his beautiful smile fades away. “Y/N, we have to stop, I’m running low on power.”
“Oh… but we can’t just stop on the side of the road,” You frown, trying to think of a solution. “Are there any hotels nearby?”
Kai looks at the map worriedly, he frantically points to a motel about 9 minutes away.
You place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Alright, Kai, shut off and save your power for now, I’ll turn you back on when we’re there.”
Kai nods and presses a button located on his back and turns off.
You two found a very interesting place to stay. The lights are dim and the rooms are themed.
You two spent a long time explaining your made-up backstory to the employee at the motel counter, and trying to figure out if picking the sci-fi room would make you more or less suspicious.
You ended up picking the summer themed room, with a beach wallpaper and rattan chairs.
On the Elevator up to your room, a human entered, he stared at you for a couple of seconds, making you extremely nervous. Oh no, this was it, you were going to be turned in and your hard drive would be erased.
The human leaned into Kai and whispered in his ear. “Good job, man, you really bagged yourself a ten!”
Kai also had a somewhat nervous expression on his face before lifting a finger up, as if he was going to correct the man. “Actually, they’re a five.”
As soon as you entered the room, you unpacked your bags and unfolded the traveling charging pod placing it on the floor for Kai to use. Kai quickly stepped on it and relaxed.
You decided to lay down on the single motel bed, feeling a real bed for the first time in a decade, as he charged and turn on the TV. You placed Will the bear and Hue the tiger next to Hyo-jun on the night stand.
You could see through the corner of your eye that Kai was fidgeting with his fingers.
“Kai? Is something wrong?” You push yourself up slightly so you’re leaning on your elbows as you face him.
He looked at you, slightly shocked that you noticed, before speaking. “Oh, uh, I’m just a bit nervous about all this.”
“Why? I’m sure Jaeah will be happy to see you.”
“Yeah! Yeah… but… I can’t deny how long it’s been.” He admits.
This shocks you, this entire time you’ve been under the impression Kai has been in denial of the passage of time, but all along he’s been thinking about it. Probably even more than you have.
“She could’ve changed, she could’ve gotten sicker. She could’ve found someone better…” Kai’s voice glitches out, almost like a human voice crack, as he blinks slowly.
“I’m broken now. I have to acknowledge it. I’m worn down, and it takes 10 minutes to reactivate me when I shut down. My voice glitches, I have trouble recording new memories, and I can’t even use my own charger. I’m old, Y/N, why would anyone want me?”
The room goes quiet as you think of what to say. You have to admit, you’ve felt some of his thoughts deeply. Should you deny that he’s broken? Should you tell him that he should be fixed?
Or should you just tell the truth?
Don’t try to emulate emotions.
Emotions cause problems.
Be a machine.
Machines can’t love.
And that’s a good thing.
Don’t try to emulate emotions.
Emotions cause problems.
Be a machine.
Machines can’t love.
And that’s— Your brain is so loud,
and it… hurts.
Everything you believe hurts.
But everything goes away when Kai places a hand on your shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
He’s off the charging pod, trying to make sure you’re okay.
You stare at him, and you can’t help but admire him while you’re at it.
Kai loves it when you’re honest. And making him happy is better than anything else. Making him happy is worth being a broken machine.
“Well, I met you when you were already broken,” You say. “and I still loved you.”
Kai nearly stumbles backwards, surprised, but not appalled.
His expression eventually turns to happiness, extremely infectious joy.
“You love me?” He squeals. His screams are louder than the TV “You love me!”
You nod, taking his hand in yours. “You’re my friend, Kai. How could anyone not love you?”
“Oh wow, I-I never thought I’d heard you say this! I’m so happy, you– you can love!” Kai’s arms flail in the air, and it suddenly hits you that you’d give anything to see him happy forever. Even if it meant losing him to Jaeah.
“And if I can learn to love you, surely Jaeah still will.” You say, remembering why you were trying to cheer him up in the first place.
“Oh, right!” Kai almost seems to have forgotten what you two were talking about as well. He rubs his hands on his shirt. “Gosh, you’re right, she will!”
And it hits you that it would kill you to see him getting hurt.
HelperBots have this way of sharing memories.
There’s this connection device on their temple that any fellow HelperBot can activate by pressing two fingers against it. It’s usually used when one HelperBot is being retired and needs to share information about their previous owners to their new HelperBot.
It’s very useful for two HelperBots to share information.
Or memories.
As Kai was resting on the bed right next to you, you couldn’t help but stare at him. You didn’t mean to see his memories, you swear, but as you were tucking his hair behind his ear, you accidentally connected to his memories.
SEARCH: JAEAH
RESULT: Over 129,739 results.
NOW PLAYING — [49/11/29]
“So you’ll be staying here for now, love.” Jaeah’s face came into view, she was carrying boxes full of things you had seen in Kai’s room.
“When will you be picking me up, Jaeah?” Kai asked. He really had no clue what was happening.
Jaeah coughed, intensely, Kai bent down to help her. “Kai, Kai, it’s fine. I…”
Jaeah looked around, unsure of what to say.
“Kai, do I make you happy or sad?” Jaeah asked, her eyes glistening with tears.
“Happy, of course.” Kai smiled, a bright bright smile.
“And… how would you feel if you lost me?” Jaeah frowned, her hands on Kai’s shoulders.
“I-I don’t know what would happen, Jaeah.” Kai’s body started to shake, and he dropped the box of origami paper he was holding. “Now… Now when will you be picking me up?”
Jaeah’s smile disappears before she starts sobbing. She hugs Kai tightly, her face pressed into his neck.
“We’ll see each other soon enough, my love. Just stay here and wait for me.”
“Are you sure you want to do this…?” You ask Kai as you stand in front of the house he was so familiar with. The same worn bricks with vines crawling all over it. The same bright yellow flowers on the lawn. The same old black roof, it was all coming back to him.
Kai nods, his metal hands gripping his bag. “I don’t care what happens, I need to see her again.”
As he goes to walk towards the door, you panic and you instinctively grab his wrist.
He looks at you confused. “Y/N?”
“Wait,” You whisper as you pull him back. “Will I ever see you again?”
Kai’s eyes glisten, and a sad smile appears on his face. “You won’t need to, you’ll be with your owners. You’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think I will be, Kai.” You admit, dropping your bag onto the ground.
“You had faith that Jaeah will accept me, I have faith that your owners will take you back too!” Kai’s optimism would warm your heart in any other situation.
But not when it comes to your owners.
“Kai, you don’t know them like I do, they didn’t love me like Jaeah loved you.” You grit your plastic teeth.
Kai shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together. “But they thought of you as part of the family–”
“Oh, sir, really, I don’t need a room, I can simply shut myself off in the living room.”
“Nonsense! Even if you don’t need the space, we’d like you to have it.” Dong-jun patted your back, showing you the beautiful guest room they had cleaned just for you. It had a closet, bed, bathroom, even a TV.
“You’re part of the family, sweetheart.” Hyo-rin said, patting your shoulder and she handed you a pile of clothes.
“Would you like me to wash these?”
The two laugh in sync. “Oh, honey, no! These are yours!”
[GLITCH]
“Come sit with us, kid!” Dong-jun gestured for you to join them at the dining room table.
You curiously sat down, unsure of why these two would want you at the table while they ate dinner.
“Now, sweetie, do you think Hyo-jun will be smart like Dong-jun or stupid like me?” Hyo-rin giggles as she eats a spoonful of rice.
Dong-jun lightly slaps her wrist. “Honey, you’re the smartest woman I know.”
Hyo-rin laughs and leans over the table to give him a kiss.
“He’s just saying that, I’m dumb as a rock!”
“Oh, but I hope Hyo-jun doesn’t get my abilities at sports… oh god.” Dong-jun shakes his head, horrified.
Hyo-rin laughs, a really big laugh. “Are you ready to take care of a baby, sweetheart?”
“Yes, ma’am, I’m ready.”
[GLITCH]
Hyo-rin was brushing your artificial hair in front of the mirror. You should’ve told her your hair doesn’t get tangled, but you knew she needed this.
“My sweet angel… you’re my baby, okay? You’re a part of the family.” Hyo-rin shakily whispered out as she brushed your hair. There were tears streaming down her face.
She hadn’t been well for the past few days. You had to feed her as she was lying in bed, she hadn’t changed clothes, hadn’t brushed her teeth, hadn’t showered. You often found the master bedroom locked, barring you from entry, and you always heard her muffled cries through the door.
“Just stay here, my sweet baby.” Hyo-rin hugged your metal body tightly. “Just stay with mommy.”
Suddenly footsteps approached the room and the door opened.
“Hyo-rin? What are you doing?”
[GLITCH]
“We can’t keep acting like they’re our child, Hyo-rin, it’s unhealthy. We have to return them.”
You were sitting on the sofa, shaking, this was the first time you actually had to look at Hyo-rin and Dong-jun as they were fighting.
“I’m not acting like anything! I’m treating them with basic respect–”
“You bought them a damn car without telling me!”
“I can do whatever I want with my finances, no need to blame it on the robot!”
“There you go, shifting the topic AGAIN!” On the last word Dong-jun slammed his fist against the glass table. It made you jolt, but nobody seemed to notice you at the moment.
“They’re not human! And they’re not your baby, they’re a robot that’ll agree with anything you say.”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Hyo-rin screamed, tears streaming down her face.
“We got them to be a helper for a baby we don’t even have! We need to return the–”
Hyo-rin slapped Dong-jun.
“FINE! Go on! Do whatever you want with them! Throw them in the dumpster for all I care, but don’t you dare come near me.” She took in a deep breath before choking out a sob. “I want a divorce.”
Hyo-rin stormed up the stairs and Dong-jun followed after her, both of them screaming and crying.
You sat on the sofa in silence, the realisation that you were never really a part of the family finally sinks in. And you hate yourself for being so naive.
As much as you want to deny that you could ever feel emotions, you know you felt scared. You had to be in a room with two strangers, because these couldn’t be the people who bought you. The Hyo-rin and Dong-jun who loved you.
You could never find it in yourself to delete that last memory. It was core to who you are and what you believed in.
“They thought of me as a replacement, Kai. A replacement for a child they could never have. But I never fully lived up to what they needed. And when it got difficult for them, I wasn’t that hard to throw away. I remember every day leading up to my retirement, it wasn’t pretty, and it definitely wasn’t loving.” You don’t even care how vulnerable and emotional you are right now, you know he needs to hear this. The truth.
Kai stumbled backwards almost. You realise he’s never been exposed to humans that were pushed to act the way Hyo-rin and Dong-jun did.
How was that fair? Why did it have to be you?
Kai pulls you in for a hug. He knows it won’t take away everything that’s happened, but it might bring you here, to the present moment.
“Come with me, Y/N.” He whispered, rubbing your back. “You don’t have to go to your owners.”
You know Jaeah isn’t going to be behind that door. You know Jaeah isn’t going to be there to take him back. But all you want to do is follow him inside the house. Just be near him.
You nod against his shoulder, “Okay.”
He interlocks your hands and you grab your bag off the ground.
Hand in hand, you two walk forwards and knock on the door.
You squeezed his hand tightly as it opened.
You didn’t see Jaeah.
You saw a man.
A very, familiar man.
“D-dong-jun?” You stutter, voice glitching.
He’s much older, more wrinkles and slightly more weight, but you’d never forget his face. He clearly recognised you as well, which surprises you, because you never thought he’d care enough to remember the time he spent with you.
“Wait- what?” Kai confusedly asks. Clearly just as confused as you are.
“A-are you…” Dong-jun’s expression is nearly horrified. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for Han Jaeah, sir. Is she around?” Kai replies, voice shaking, quickly trying to sneak a glance inside the house, looking all around for her.”
“Uh, no. Who is that?” He asks.
“The owner of this house.. I-I think.” Kai stutters out. “I’m assuming you’re not her new boyfriend?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, kid, but the previous owner of this house passed away ten years ago.” Dong-jun scratches the back of his neck.
Kai stumbled backwards, you went to touch him but his body was extremely hot. He was almost steaming. You could tell he was about to shut down at any moment.
“Kai!” You exclaimed, horribly worried about his state.
“Oh, please, come in. Please, I insist!” Dong-jun opens the door wider for you two.
You wrap Kai’s arm around your neck to help him walk inside like he did for you many times before.
As you enter the house, you settle in Dong-jun’s living room. You spot a very familiar couch and almost hesitant to approach it before lead Kai towards it.
You help Kai sit, but he’s stuck in a cycle of shaking his head and hiding his face in his hands. The rest of his body is still burning hot, his inner fan is working overtime, it’s so strong that you can hear it.
When you take a look around the house, you notice that it’s definitely being occupied by someone other than Dong-jun and maybe even… children?
On the table in front of you, you spot incomprehensible drawings of flowers and animals. You even spot crayon markings on the walls around you.
“Baby, who was at the door?” You hear a kind voice coming from another room. It almost sounds like Hyo-rin’s but you know better than to assume it was her.
A beautiful woman holding an infant child comes out of the kitchen and into the living room. She spots you and Kai and waves politely. She even kisses Dong-jun’s cheek as he makes his way into the living room.
“Hello, there! What are your names?” You shake hands with the woman, trying to process everything that was happening.
“Uh- hello, I’m… I mean… I… I don’t know what to say.” You really are speechless, trying to process everything you’re seeing.
Suddenly, you feel Kai clinging onto you as his entire body shakes. His body is still burning hot, but you don’t care, all you care about right now is comforting him.
You place your hand on his head and your thumb rubs against his scalp.
“This is my old HelperBot, Mi-Do. And uh, her friend.” Dong-jun explains, his hand still scratching his neck.
Dong-jun takes the child from Mi-do’s arms and kisses their head. It reminds you of when you’d daydream about taking care of Hyo-jun.
This is what you thought you’d be seeing everyday 10 years ago.
Well, not exactly.
Right now, Dong-jun looks even happier than he did on the very first day when he bought you. He looked so familiar and yet so different.
This isn’t the guy that punched walls or hit tables anymore, this was the expecting father that just wanted a HelperBot around the house. This was Dong-jun.
“This is uh- Kai. He was the HelperBot of the previous owner of this house.” You clarify for the two. Kai was still shaking against your arm, he felt like he was on fire, but you really couldn’t care less.
Mi-do’s mouth falls open as she nods understandingly. “Oh, I am so sorry for your loss, Kai.”
She goes to pat Kai’s back, but you pull him closer to you before she can.
She nods once again before finding a seat to use.
“Dong-jun,” You call out. He immediately looks at you, ready to answer whatever you have to ask. “Can you tell me where Hyo-rin is?”
Dong-jun looks upwards at the ceiling, trying to recall what he knows. “Ah, she’s back with her family in Seoul. She has a boyfriend and step-daughter now.”
“Wow, y-you both have ch-ch-ch-children.” You find your voice glitching again, and you can feel your thoughts getting slower the more questions pop up in your mind.
Dong-jun nods and smiles, patting your shoulder. “We’re both doing good now, in life, and in regards to our relationship with each other, we’re friendly.”
You nod back and just look at the floor in silence.
Mi-do taps Dong-jun’s shoulder and he makes a face of realisation, leaving the room.
“We’ll leave you two be for now.” Mi-do says as she goes to exit the living room. “Stay as long as you need.”
Dong-jun and Mi-do head up their stairs and you can hear them talking to their child.
As soon as the room goes quiet and they’re gone, Kai gets up, fixing his shirt. “Let’s go.”
“Are you sure you don’t need more time–”
“We need to go now. I can’t stand being here any longer.” He rubs his eyes as he reaches his hand out for you.
You two find yourself walking the streets of Jeju aimlessly, not saying a single word to each other, but knowing exactly what you two were thinking about. Occasionally, you two had to help each other walk when it got too hard.
You found yourself thinking about Jaeah, and wondering how much longer you had before you broke down like Jaeah did. You wondered if Kai was thinking the same.
While Kai finds himself staring at the ground, you guide him to a park you used to visit with Hyo-rin and Dong-jun.
It was still spring, which means you two had arrived in Jeju in time to see the cherry blossoms. But you doubt he would appreciate them right now.
You guide Kai onto a bench and lift his chin up so he can see the beautiful flowers. Instead, he moves his head out of your grasp and looks at you.
“Why did you come on this trip with me, Y/N?” He asks, and it breaks something in you.
“Because I’m a HelperBot. I help anyone.” You state.
“I’m not anyone, I’m just a stupid bot you dispose of when times get tough.” He kicks a rock on the ground, you’ve never seen him this upset.
“You’re everything to me, Kai. That’s why I helped you. You’re the only someone in my life.” You reply sternly.
Kai hits his head multiple times. “Ugh! Why didn’t I go back sooner? Why did I take so long? Why didn’t she talk to me?”
You grab his hands to make him stop, his head is now covered in petals.
“She’s gone!” Kai cries out. “I knew it, I always knew it! Why was I so stupid, why did I try to pretend she was still alive?”
“It’s not wrong to have hope, Kai.” You whisper.
Kai shakes his head. “I can’t do this, I can’t do it without her.”
You pause as you hold him, staring at the beautiful flowers all around you.
“Y’know, I’m glad we made it to see the cherry blossoms.” You say.
Kai does that thing you love where he tilts his head at you when he’s confused.
“I know the flowers will be gone eventually, but they’re beautiful while they last. And that’s what we should be focusing on. Not what our life is like when they’re gone, but how beautiful our life was when they were here.”
Kai rolls his eyes and lets out a dark chuckle. “For a ‘smart machine’, I would have thought you’d come up with a more subtle metaphor.”
“Oh shush.” You shush him as you close your eyes and try to catch a falling cherry blossom. “You wanna make a wish on a cherry blossom?”
“HelperBots aren’t programmed to make wishes.” He sighs.
“HelperBots aren’t programmed to fall in love, and look at us.” You say with your eyes still closed, blindly trying to catch a falling petal.
Kai stares at you, and he immediately catches two blossoms. He stares at them before placing one in your hand.
You open your eyes again and look at the blossom you felt him place on your hand.
“Can you go first?” He asks softly, his eyes shining. “Mine never come true.”
You nod and think for a second. At first, you think you want to wish that Hyo-rin and Dong-jun will always be happy, but you realise they both already have people taking care of them.
So you want to wish for someone who doesn’t have anyone else anymore.
“I wish for Kai’s happiness. I hope he realises that sometimes things are out of his control, and that the most important thing about love is the fact it exists and not the fact that it has to end.”
You blow on the blossom and it lands on his nose. Kai scrunches his nose and shakes his head until the blossom flies away. It makes the two of you laugh.
Kai looks down at his blossom and thinks about what he wants to wish for.
“I wish I would stop breaking down, so I could have enough time with the things I care about.”
He rests his head on your shoulder and blows his petal away.
You don’t need to ask to know he’s talking about you.
“Do you want to go home?” You ask.
“Just a little longer, please.” His voice breaks.
“As long as you want.” You rub his back as you stare into the sky.
When you two made it home, Kai decided to stay in your room, just to sit with you a bit longer.
“I spend all my time here anyways,” he said. “Can’t I just… stay here all the time?”
Of course you let him. You’d let him stay as long as he wanted.
When Kai left, he didn’t come back for a week.
You hate to admit it, but all you did was stare at the door waiting for him to come back in.
You almost felt pathetic. Useless even. You felt worse than a desperately in love human.
You tried to read books, you tried to listen to music, you tried to talk to Hyo-jun, but all you could think of was him.
Did I help him well enough?
How long does he need to grieve?
Is he okay?
Millions of thoughts ran through your head every second.
But then you heard a knock.
You forced your terrible legs to move and open the door.
As you opened the door, you were greeted by a somber Kai.
“I don’t think my wish will come true.” He admits.
“What?”
“I don’t think I’ll have enough time with the person I love.” His hands slide down your shoulders, down your arms, all the way until they capture your hands.
He quickly pulls you into a hug and presses his face into your neck. “I want to spend all the time I have left with you. Because I love you, Y/N.”
“I-I love you too, Kai.”
“No, I mean… I think I love you… more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
“You–”
You hug him back, so, so tightly. You know you’re physically incapable of crying, but you might as well be, with how much you’re shaking.
“But Kai, I have a time-limit too. This would hurt… so much, are you really willing to put yourself through that again?”
He pulls back to look at you “If you’re not sure, then I won’t do anything, I promise. I understand your doubts, but you told me that what matters is the existence of love, not its ending.”
You press your lips to his, just like the humans did in the movies.
For some reason, it doesn’t feel like cold metal, it feels… real. It feels tender, and sweet, it feels like destiny.
“Then I’ll love you as much as you want.” You whisper as you pull away.
“As much as you let me.” Kai replies.
You realised a couple weeks after he first kissed you that love was so much less fun than it seemed in the love songs Kai would play for you, but for some reason it was just as addictive as the songs were.
You two found yourself leaving the retirement home with him more often. Talking to your robot neighbours or visiting the local mall made specifically for Bots.
Kai bought a set of repair tools so he can more efficiently help you when you break down. You bought a camera for recording to show him memories he might’ve lose.
You’d hold him as you sat on the grass, soaking in the sun as you read the same books to him over and over again. You’d ride around in your car for a couple of hours, talking about whatever was on your mind today.
Your days have been getting shorter, You and Kai both need to charge every other day now, and random shut-downs have become frequent.
Both of you were having a harder time moving, a glitch or error in one of your systems would happen at least 10 times per day, but both of you would patiently deal with each other, every time.
Kai has a lot of bad days, after all these years he still loves Jaeah, and there are days where it hurts to remember what it was like to lose her.
“I can’t do it. I can’t lose you like I lost her. We have to end things.” Kai came whimpered to you one night.
“I’ll let you leave but… I just want you to know I’ll always be here to make you laugh, and to make you smile. If it gets hard, I’ll be here.”
You have bad days too, you have days where you think you should just end everything and spare you and Kai the pain of losing each other. He always respects your space, but encourages you to let him make you happy. And eventually you always give in.
“I’m really not sure about this, Kai… recently it just feels like I could lose you at any moment.” You said one night when you two were lying in his bed together.
“Would you rather sleep together tonight or break up with me?” He asks.
“...sleep together tonight.”
You’ve completely changed, and your room reflects that. Your room is filled with pictures of him, and books you want to read. You have posters of musicals, movies, and singers, you even got a sleeping bag to put on the floor.
It silently kills you each day to remember that neither of you have much time together. To think about what might happen if you just shut down in his arms one night, or if he…
Every time you have a doubt about this relationship, you come up with something new you want to do with Kai. Maybe you want to know what it’s like to sing together, or draw each other, eventually, you always forget what you were ever concerned about.
“Well, we can’t break up before we’ve read all the books on my shelf.”
“We can’t break up until we’ve spent the whole day doing nothing together.”
“We can’t break up until the glaciers are gone and the earth starts to slow.”
He always finds a new reason, and it makes you laugh, you always play along, knowing you want to find an excuse not to break up either.
You asked Kai one day why he fell in love with you.
He pondered for a few seconds before giving you his response. “I liked that you were always honest with me, even when you disagreed.”
He tightens his grip on your body as you two gaze into the sun. “I liked that you always wanted to make me happy, or help me. That wasn’t something I was used to. What about you, Y/N? Why did you fall in love with me?”
You don’t even have to think before you know your answer. “Because you made me feel like a person.”
Whenever you feel like you need space, Kai is ready to give it to you. And whenever Kai needs you around, you come right to him.
“If you two ever break up, y’know, you could always erase your memories.” Hyo-rin says.
You have been calling Hyo-rin and Dong-jun recently, always wanting to check up on them, and luckily everything seemed to be going extremely well for them. Hyo-rin was engaged and Dong-jun was planning on moving.
You had told Hyo-rin about your relationship with Kai and she had started looking up HelperBot-HelperBot relationships.
“What?” You ask into the payphone.
“Just go back to a save file from before you met him! It’s one thing you can do that humans can’t. Anyways, I gotta go now, my husband is calling, talk to you soon!” She hangs up the phone abruptly, leaving you staring at the phone in stack.
Is this what you wanted? Erase all the love, erase all the future pain?
Your body walks itself towards your apartment as you think about your options, but when you see Kai sitting on a bean bag you two bought together and holding Hyo-jun, you stop thinking.
“There you are, Y/N! I didn’t want to start reading until you came home.”
“Kai,” You interrupt, “if you could make all the pain of losing me go away, would you want to?”
Kai is shocked to hear you say that, and looks away to think for just a second. His face is illuminated by fairy lights, and you can’t help but think about how much you love him.
“No,” he says firmly. “No, because even if it hurts, the pain is proof that I loved you.”
You smile sadly, because you realise that you love him too much to lose him. There’s no way you’d want to make these memories go away, you’d never risk forgetting your first kiss, the cherry blossoms, the fireworks, just… him.
Even if it meant you shutting down one day. Even if it meant your heart breaking down piece by piece every day, you’re happy to spend every day with him until it finally breaks for good.
There is a way to make love work. Hyo-rin and Dong-jun weren’t it for each other, but their time with each other is how they ended up finding their current partners.
Your time with Hyo-rin and Dong-jun is how you became the person that Kai fell in love with.
As you go to cuddle up against him, you tell him about what Hyo-rin told you.
“Even if you take away my memories, I promise, I’d still love you.” He tells you, kissing your forehead.
“Until the day I stop working, I’ll promise I’ll love you too.”
