- * 𝐈'𝐌 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄

[vldhyunjae]

vldrose·:

“well i thought you wanted me here because you wanted my coffee delivery service,” rose says with a smile, standing up and setting down her things. she takes off her coat and puts up her hair. “i thought this whole recoding booth thing was an impluslve spur of the moment thing. or do you really enjoy my singing voice.” rose gives him a smile and reaches out to ruffle his hair, playfully. 

 she walks into the booth, closing the door and sticking her tongue out at hyunjae through the window, giving him a smile afterward. rose puts on the studio headphones and talks to hyunjae for a moment, always weirdly nervous when inside the small booth but hyunjae’s instruction always puts her at ease in the same breath. it was hard recording something without a demo, she was the demo, but it was fun to be apart of hyunjae’s process. “lemme hear it again? i gotta figure out how this is gonna sound.”

hyunjae would have forgotten why he reached out to rose. and it wasn't just about the coffee, that's for sure. the discomfort settled between his fingers as he traced over the words and notes on his notepad, one that he tucked away in the piles of paper somewhere. he ended up spending more time than intended in this set of tracks. not just a set, but a concept for a discography. "your voice is amazing, just get in there, okay?" he rolls his eyes and groans, feigning annoyance as he fixed his hair but quickly sets up for the recording.

he knows better than to be extremely invested in something that would get molded into something far from what he envisioned. hyunjae was setting himself up for stress and frustration. but maybe, just maybe, he could indulge himself. he shifts his attention back to rose, smiling as he plays the track a bit, quickly hitting the space bar to listen to her request. "sure, sure," he replies already hovering over mid-first verse. "maybe start with a half? then quarters to the bridge before the drop," he tells her with a smile, already having a better overview of the song. "just you know, sing however you feel, then we'll polish it later."

[vldhyunjae]

vldyejun·:

yejun sulks as soon as his boyfriend denies him leave of the grocery store and points him to the food samples. “that’s not satisfying,” yejun says unhappily, feeling hyunjae bump him and looking over at him to pout again. “plus they only let you take one each.” yejun’s stomach growls at the scent of food nearby, just the thought of it as he looks around him. he had skipped dinner to finish some eval notes and is now regretting it. “i want real food, hyunjae.”

he also wasn’t lying about his feet, or the pains an aches of having been working on choreography all day. yejun wants nothing more than to go home and lay down in his bed, with his boyfriend and his cats. yejun distracts himself by sneaking more food into the cart when hyunjae isn’t looking, walking at a suspicious distance. “you know,” yejun says rubbing his eyes, letting out a yawn. “we can go grocery shopping like not at 3am, right?”

"i know that," he explains, checking the stalls for what he should try first before looking at yejun. "we'll have to get everything on the list then we'll go have some real food, i promise." he assures yejun before pushing the cart down the middle aisle. hyunjae was starving too, like yejun is from the sound of his stomach growling. now that he thought about it, maybe he is hungrier than he thinks because he can't recall if he had lunch or if he sat that one out to get to some tracks he had been putting off for a few days.

hyunjae starts sampling, only manages to taste a few before he hands his portion to yejun. he starts focusing on the list again, checking the cart and purposely playing oblivious to the growing number of items that were not on the said list. he smiles, walking up to yejun and feeding him with what the lady said to be an improved version of a crowd-favorite dumpling. he hums as he yejun speaks, looking as sleepy as ever, "we can?" he gasps trying hard not to let out a snicker as he reached out for a big pack of dried laver and tossing it into the cart. "i know... but there would be... you know, people." he shuders, the idea of a packed grocery stressed him out. "they'll be walking slowly, laughing, and breathing." he adds, reaching out for yejun's wrist and guiding him to hold onto the cart.

[vldhyunjae]

vldyejun·:

“i’m always soft for you, baby,” he says pulling hyunjae’s hand to his lips and kissing his fingers softly. “i was just wondering.” he keeps hyunjae’s hand and rests it on his chest, over his heart. the wind picks up and pushes his hair off his head, giving him a cool refreshing breeze. a perfect day to be together, he thinks to himself. yejun wishes that they had confessed sooner. now it was as if everyday he was making up for those days that they spend secretly wishing they had belonged to each other, never knowing if the other had felt the same.

yejun’s childhood is filled with bad memories but the ones of hyunjae always stick out, like pressed flowers in an aged, wilted book. he remembers nights spent making forts, taking turns looking through a telescope, and talking about the future. they had both been so broken in so many ways but had always had the right pieces to match each other’s wounds. “you make me so happy,” yejun says suddenly. “i love you, hyunjae.”

before they met, hyunjae had forgotten what it was like to be happy. even as a child, his days were filled with tasks and chores parents and legal guardians should be responsible for. he had lost months if not a few years to being what his father and older brother failed to carry out in the process of putting themselves back together after their family's loss. there were no complaints heard from young hyunjae, even when he had to give up on the things kids his age would throw tantrums about. then yejun comes along, with his cheeks and sunkissed skin, contagious smile and hyunjae learned how to smile again.

"meeting you is one of the two happiest memories i have growing up." he admits, lightly touching the tip of yejun's nose. even when he's heard it dozens of times a day, those three words and eight letters still make his heart full. he smiles softly and hums, "i love you too." he replies, sighing lightly as he kept his eyes on him. "if i had to do everything all over again, i'd still pick you." he continues, reassuring yejun that he was certain about all the choices ever since.

[vldhyunjae]

vldhyunjun·:

hyunjun often visited the record store as often as he could. his grandmother had gifted him a vinyl player a couple years ago and he tried to use it as much as he could. he loved how it sounded, and with the right album it helped him relax. he perused the aisles, not really looking for anything in particular. he often looked in the foreign section to see if he could spot any western artists that were familiar to him. 

he grabs a couple that he likes, holding them in one hand while the free one continues to flip through the multitude of records. he’s so engrossed on what he’s reading that he doesn’t even notice when someone is speaking to him, until the light from a phone catches his eye and he turns to meet someone else’s gaze. “oh uh, i haven’t. but i can help you look!” he offers. “i’ve already flipped through these sections he says, vaguely motioning to a small area next to him, “so we can just start from here and keep looking.” he says, a smile on his face.

"thank you, you're a lifesaver!" hyunjae replies with a smile, feeling a bit of relief that there was an extra set of hands helping him look for this album. although a small part of him really wished the guy would ignore his inquiry, and if he did, hyunjae would have shoved the undone task at the back of his mind. he'd probably get a little annoyed, but then realize he had the excuse to leave the store, get on the bus, and head straight home to rest. but of course, that didn't happen, and he simply focuses on the fact that he might just get this done today after all.

he looks at the section the other guy was referring to and nods his head. hyunjae then lets his eyes follow the still significantly huge chunk of albums they had to go through. he rubs lightly at his nape, brows knitting lightly before he lets out "this is a lot..." his features relax as he starts going through the file in front of him. "don't have anywhere you have to be?" he continues, features relaxing, a small smile clinging to his lips. "or class maybe? are you a uni student?" over the years, hyunjae has learned how to make small talk. he wasn't sure if he ever mastered how to do it normally, but he hoped he's doing it right.

[vldhyunjae]

vldseungyong·:

“going experimental with music is how to make newtrends. but it’s difficult to get people to greenlight that.” he’d been allowed some creative freedom on the album he’d released, but it still didn’t feel like enough, not when they were working on music for the group. he could understand it – his own music only represented himself, and he wasn’t speaking for anyone else when releasing tracks that weren’t necessarily public-friendly. it must’ve been more difficult for hyunjae, who produced for others and didn’t release other things under his own name the way seungyong could. “at least the royalties should be good on the chart toppers, right? i can imagine you could make good moneyoff that.”

seungyong was in the habit of locking himself into hisstudio, and disturbances didn’t happen all that often – maybe that was because his friends, and especially his groupmates, knew that he needed his space to work sometimes, and that he didn’t like to be interrupted, but mostly he chalked it up to the lock he let click shut most of the time. “i can see why that would be a bit of a pain.” he smiled at the thought; he wouldn’t want to trade places, but hyunjae didn’t seem as upset about it as his words made it sound, more fondly exasperated than anything else. “sad love songs are nicer to listen to in winter, but it’s a niche i’d be happy to see people provide for. i’m no good with love songs, so i can’t help you in your fight against the vast majority of upbeat tracks, but i’ll be cheering on you.”

hyunjae did a lot of experimenting when he was getting started. there was no structure, no pressure, and no backhanded compliments that made him hesitate about what he uploads. it was stressful given that he was desperate to find his own sound, his own style, but he took for granted just how much freedom he had back then. there wasn't exactly a pannel that scrutinizes every single element in the track, nor were there consumers to please. there were days when he missed that, being a beginner and thinking the possibilities are endless. he ought himself to learn the rules before he goes all out and breaks them, and here yet here he is, scared to death about possible rejection. "that's true, makes me want to go back to when i was just starting out," he sighs and nods, "the royalties are... yeah, they're okay. more than okay if we're being honest. but there's something that's not there."

he must be really tired, frustrated about everything even that he does what resembles venting out. the moments of silence in the studio helped him clear his mind, but it turns out the more you do what pleases the higher-ups the more complicated things get. it was much harder to balance artistic integrity and what sells. "well, i don't think i'm good with love songs at all. it just seems like i have the bouncy, giggly first-stages of love down to a t." he smiles back as he looks over seungyong, then back at the horizon before them. "thank you for that, i like to think i'd win that fight someday, maybe a few more all-kills, and they'd consider it." hyunjae lets out a laugh at the absurd thought of it all. he knew it wasn't as easy as that, even when the songs are a hit. "i don't just make upbeat girl group tracks, you know. i have some of my older stuff, a few ones i was commissioned for underground releases i think?"

[vldhyunjae]

vldyejun·:

“you’re deflecting,” yejun says as his boyfriend throws his arm around his shoulder. he crosses his arms across his chest as he looks over at hyunjae, narrowing his eyes at his smile, almost as if he had other intentions. “i look tired? maybe i should down ten espressos. what do you say?”

hyunjae was usually quite weird but tonight he was acting a little more so, probably only because he was caught with a late night americano. usually, yejun would accept just grabbing dinner and having a night in but he hadn’t been to the arcade in ages and he was really itching to see if he still had reign over the ddr scores. “we can eat at the arcade,” yejun says pulling hyunjae in the direction of the place in mind, hands intertwined. 

“you can’t just say arcade and then back out,” yejun tells him, finding the bus that would take them there. “that’s like saying ‘let’s go to a girl group convention’ to you and then saying ‘oh, nevermind’. how cruel would that feel, hm? let’s go. this is your punishment for the espressos.”

yejun was spot on about that, hyunjae is, indeed, deflecting. they could be on their way home, sitting comfortably in the bus as they wait to reach their usual stop. but no, he just had to have another cup of coffee after work hours and take another few hours off that gap from the office to their comfortable sofa. then again, he is going to spend time with yejun and he'd pick that over anything. "you can't down ten espressos..." he begins with a sigh, then a playful smirk paints on his lips, "you savor it."

there was no other way at this point, yejun was eager to go to the arcade. of all the things hyunjae could blurt out, it had to be that one place yejun had the reigns over. "eat what exactly?" he tries to protest, sounding hesitant but still yields to yejun as he pulls him away from their typical home-bound direction. he turns his head and looks back, wrinkling his nose as he curses himself before he willingly walks yejun's pace. his worry falls away as he felt yejun's hand, and his automatic response was to give it a light squeeze.

"hey, that's not how it is!" hyunjae gasps, being dramatic as usual. "you never go 'oh nevermind' when it comes to conventions, do you know how hard it is to get tickets to those?" he continues as he rekindles late nights staying up and having countdowns set to get his hands on those tickets way back. "they're pricey too..." he mumbles, shaking his head and looking at yejun with a smile as he draws himself back from his memories. "not a punishment if it's with you." he smiles perhaps a little too enthusiastically, which made it look more forced than it actually is. "one hour?"

[vldhyunjae]

vldjinu·:

Jinwoo runs into Hyunjae, in sunglasses, nursing a piña colada in a peculiarly intimate fashion, and he’s glad he did; he finds Hyunjae immensely entertaining. He’s never met someone who he found so peculiar in behaviour, and Jinwoo liked poking at him, prodding him in attempts to irritate him. 

“My sister?” he asks, as though confused, “Why are you so concerned about my sister?” 

He has some trouble biting back his smirk as he eyes the half-drunk beverage in Hyunjae’s hand curiously, reaching down to pluck the decorative wheel of pineapple from the rim of the glass, ever so casually, taking a bite of it and continuing, as though he’d not done a thing. 

“These sunglasses make you look like a goober.” he advises the other boy, the words twisting awkwardly about the fruit in his mouth, “A cute look, though.” 

hyunjae figured there were about a hundred and one other questions to start this conversation. and yet he mindlessly gravitated towards one were jinwoo was not even the subject and may even imply that he was doing something wrong. but then again, if he asked the most trivial of questions, he wouldn't be true to himself. and also because it was interesting to see just how much alike rose and jinwoo are, "she's my bestfriend," he begins with a small smile. "and because i want you two to have fun, without you know, worrying about each other."

his gaze falls on jinwoo's hand, reaching for the pineapple that he was saving after he drinks his glass empty. the annoyance was starting to build up, but hyunjae just smiles and rolls his eyes as he shakes his head. "i'd take that second one, thank you." he replies, taking a quick sip from his drink before heaving a sigh. "you and your sister are both cute too," he adds holding back a chuckle. while rose either liked or hated something, jinwoo was the like and hate type it seems. "how was your day? did you need one of these?" he continues, raising the glass to face-level before taking another sip.

[vldhyunjae]

vldyejun·:

“the only time?” yejun wonders with an eyebrow raised. he reaches out to touch hyunjae’s skin, a smirk on his lips, leaning in to kiss his shoulder. he savors the feeling of weightlessness, the salt keeping him afloat more than any other typical water. after awhile, he feels a little lonely and swims to where hyunjae is once more before responding to him. “we should. you know i’m always game for a trip to jeju,” he says grabbing onto hyunjae from behind and wrapping his legs around his waist. 

“what if we just keep drifting like this and end up on some deserted island?” yejun asks his boyfriend, leaning his head on his shoulder and nuzzling into his neck. “what if we get eaten by coconut crabs like amelia earhart?” yejun sighs. “let’s go back to the beach. i’m getting hungry and tired. and you need more sunscreen.”

there was something comforting about the way the ocean can make him feel so small. hyunjae basked in the idea of knowing the answer to almost every question thrown his way. but enveloped in the water, the cold and smooth sensation against his skin was calming. all thoughts and worries fall away. "let's visit more than we usually do," he says with a small smile, holding yejun in place as he turns his head slightly. "better yet, we should retire here, yes?" there was no hesitation, no second guessing that they will be spending their lives together. "somewhere quiet, with the view of the sea." he adds quietly.

hyunjae lets out a laugh at yejun's words, "what?" he adds, brows knitting in disbelief, the absurd thought already being proven wrong in his head. it wasn't possible to drift away at a beach like this, they'd be spotted right away. and there weren't exactly desserted islands around the area -- and he knows for sure, he checked the maps before he went to jeju the first time. but he keeps all those to himself, he finds yejun and his thoughts precious, he was in no position to burst his bubble. "well, i doubt we'll be eaten by crabs, and we'll survive in an island for sure." he reassures hims instead. "oh, that's what the rumbling was?" hyunjae proceeds to tease him, snickering, "i thought there was something on my back"

[vldhyunjae]

mielvld·:

he lets out a thoughtful noise as he stops by where he left his stuff on a towel by his ( now sleeping ) manager far up the beach, and he adjusts the parasol to account for the moving sun so that his manager won’t wake up completely sunburnt from head to toe. after slipping on his flip-flops, he says, “ in that case, let’s get you a longboard then. ” once he reaches the top of the stairs, where the sand of the beach meets the asphalt of the road, he makes sure to wash off the sand from his shoes at the faucets.

the queue to the rental kiosk is longer than it had been when dan had rented his board, but he reasons that it has to do with the fact that it’s now later in the day, a couple of hours after lunch has already passed and everyone is ready to go back into the water again. taking a spot towards the end of the line, he asks, “ have you ever been out of the country, then ? ”

this is a bad idea. the words played like a broken record in his head as they walked to the rental kiosj. hyunjae smiles and acts like nothing's wrong, like he could really surf. he waits for miel as he moved about, making sure the guy sleeping at what hyunjae assumed to be their spot, was cared for. "yeah, sure," he says mindlessly, trying to recall his very little knowledge on surfing and how a long board differs from the other boards he didn't really think to know more about. he makes a mental note to pay closer attention to tour guides or hotel employees when they give a talk about beach activities.

hyunjae scans the long line to the kiosk, standing on his toes briefly, chin lifting as his gaze finally meets the first customer and the kiosk personnel. "looks like a lot of people want to surf," he lets out, words probably drowning into the distant chatters and the noise around them. he hums and turns to miel, "oh, uh... yeah, i've traveled out of the country a few times. japan... and taiwan. but i'm hoping to travel more with yejun soon." that was definitely something they had to do, maybe for their next anniversary. "how about you? where else have you traveled to?"

[vldhyunjae]

vldyejun·:

yejun walks forward to hyunjae again, wrapping his arm around his boyfriend’s and then holds his hand, leaning into him. he wants to beg hyunjae to go home so that he can kiss him and snuggle with him but there’s more important things at matter, like the candy aisle. “i don’t want chocolate,” yejun says, walking at his side as they turn the corner. “i want gummies. you should know what. besides, if you get your straight up sugar cubes, i get my gummies.” 

he leaves his boyfriend’s side to go find the candy he wants, putting it in the cart and then turning to him again. “are we almost done?” yejun asks, with a pout, tugging on hyunjae’s arm like a child. it was just that yejun was so tired, with the amount of daily energy his job took from him. not just the stress of watching videos and correcting idols and trainees ( who could sometimes be divas and childish ) but working them through choreography and other training exercises. “i’m tired and i’m hungry,” yejun tells him reaching out to pull gently onto hyunjae’s ear and then poking his cheek. 

“i mean, what else do we need? we already got the candy?”

hyunjae gives yejun's hand a squeeze, looking at him with a soft smile. "i know," he lets out quietly as he keeps their slow, relaxed pace while he listens to his boyfriend's words. in all honesty, if anything his own words were directed to himself more than anyone. he had been trying to curve his smoking habits by indulging himself with something else. he remembered managing to overcome it, took some time but he did. and now here he is again. he liked to think that it starts with accepting that it's not a good, and the rest follows. "alright, alright," he sighs, "get your gummies." he says with a light laugh.

although he was firm about not indulging yejun, he still finds himself letting the other do as he pleased. he watches with a smile, eyeing the candy from his boyfriend's hands and into the cart, shaking his head lightly and unable to hold back a chuckle at how precious he is. he zones out for a moment, going over his list and checking if he missed anything. hyunjae hums as hears yejun speak, turning to him when he feels a tug on his ear, "we'll eat after... but there are samples at this time i think," they turn the corner and hyunjae smiles more, "see?" he bumps his shoulder with yejun's. "eat away, baby." he urges him, nodding at the stalls set-up by the frozen section.

[vldhyunjae]

vldnari·:

nari gives hyunjae a look, grinning. “never say never,” she says. “i’m just kidding.” hyunjae was a fun person to tease, always taking things so seriously. he was definitely too young for her, his face too youthful to even think of as a fully lived adult, though he really has an old soul in the same breath. she’d rather think of him as her younger brother, someone to just pinch the cheeks of and ruffle his hair. 

“ah, i love it. thank you for thinking of me,” she says with a genuine warm smile, taking her headphones back and putting them into her purse again. nari goes back to eating for a moment before looking up at hyunjae. “hey, you injure me, you’re gonna get it back ten-fold,” she says with a frown as she rubs her forehead. “just watch it.” nari narrows her eyes. “well, i’m just saying, this could be someone’s title track easy, you don’t have to waste it on me.” nari leans back to take a drink of water and gives him a smile. “but i’m glad you are.”

hyunjae could only roll his eyes and shake his head at nari's words. he proceeds to tease her, mischievous streak making its way to the surface as he groans and wrinkles his nose at the thought of them being more than what they are now. "we're eating, can you not," he adds, holding back a snicker and keep the feigned annoyed look he was trying to pull. "i'd like to keep this down, i've had a long day." he continues before he gives in and smiles, laughing and seemingly pleased with how long he managed to do it this time.

"i'm glad you do, but i should really be thanking you," he smiles back, proceeding to eat before heaving a sigh. "been feeling like i'm stuck in a loop, not really a slump... but you know, like... a routine," he explains, tries to at least. hyunjae was supposed to like routine, knowing what to expect, certainty, but it just came to a point that he feels uneasy about it. "don't say that, it's not a waste on you." he insists, "if it has to go to someone, i want you to have it." hyunjae would have never put something like this together without inspiration. and for nari to be able to inspire him to put a track like this together was a huge help to bring him back.

[vldhyunjae]

vldrose·:

“and i mean it,” rose says. “you know, i’m not the one to lie. i mean, why would i lie to you? i think you of all people could handle my bluntness.” rose shrugs, looking back to the program on his computer, fascinated with the bits and pieces that songs usually were. it was different seeing something composed on a computer, but it makes sense in a technical way. she was just used to everyone having a different sheet of music. 

rose nods, watching hyunjae with a smile. it was cute to see him so in his element and reminds her how much she misses hanging out with him. “no, it sounds good,” she says reaching out to punch his arm softly. “everything you do sounds good, hyunjae. shall i get inside the recording booth? or do you need more validation?”

rose was right, she never did lie to hyunjae. and in all honesty, he could not remember a time that he had to or even though of lying to her. . they could handle each other's bluntness, and that is one of the reasons why they remained close. "that's true..." he says with a light smile and a nod. he glances at rose and sees the way she eyed his work, behind the countenance, he could see the fascination. it was like that with most people, and he feels a sense of pride when he does catch a glimpse of it. music was no different from the problems he solved at school.

for a second there, hyunjae started to wonder if he would feel this kind of fulfillment if he had pursued becoming an idol. he tried to figure out the realistic timeline it would take before he could produce for the group, or even release his own music. he'd have the patience for it, but he wouldn't be as happy as he is now for sure. there was freedom with his current line of work, not just with what he does but with how he lived his life. and that was the best part. "yeah, get inside the recording booth, we should try to run this. i need validation. why do you think i asked you to come here?" he teases, holding back a smile.

[vldhyunjae]

vldyejun·:

“why didn’t you wear something?” yejun whines, feeling the warmth on hyunjae’s skin, his shoulders and the back of his neck. “so you don’t get burnt all over.” where hyunjae burns, yejun only gets darker but unlike some other people in korea, he doesn’t mind and enjoys how nice his skin looks, how warm and inviting it can become. he’s sure though that once hyunjae’s burn settles, he’ll see a nice tint of darkness to his boyfriend’s skin, reminding him of when they were little, always outside and up to no good. 

“nuh uh,” yejun tells him before pushing hyunjae’s hand away. “i’m not made out of dough, why are you always pinching me.” he giggles and then pushes away from his boyfriend to swim further, so only his head shows above the water. “babe, maybe if you just incase yourself in water you won’t get burnt. or does that make it worse? the water might be too clear.” he gets on his back and floats, letting the waves push him farther away from their spot on the shore. yejun opens one of his eyes to see where his boyfriend is among the waves.

it still doesn’t sink in that they were here. it's been a year and hyunjae still couldn’t believe any of this is happening. and while his mind was going through a multitude thoughts, both positive and negatives, a million reasons come to him why he knew this is where he's supposed to be. "we're in the beach, baby," he snickers, humming as he leans his head back and savors the sun. "i guess the only time i'd really forego a shirt is when we're here in jeju." he says with a soft smile, the kind that he only ever had reserved for yejun alone.

"not dough, you're made of clouds." he says with a light snicker then heaving a sigh, watching his boyfriend float about and enjoying himself. hyunjae indulges yejun, letting his body submerge up to his neck, "i don't think it'll work," he continues before getting on his back, closing his eyes as he stares at the sky. this is a much needed break and with yejun here, it feels even better. "we should come here more often..." he lets out, unsure if he was loud enough to be heard. "it's so relaxing."

[vldhyunjae]

vldseungyong·:

seungyong doesn’t believe in limitations, not when it comes to making music – releasing is another matter, and he has quite the amount of unreleased tracks hidden deep in his folders that he knows will never see the light of day, because they wouldn’t appeal to the public or the company would never green light them. but that hardly matters, not when he’s trying to clear his head, put notes to paper. sometimes, music doesn’t feel like a hobby anymore, but in some cases – when inspiration strikes – it does, and when that happens, he doesn’t think much on the amount he could sell it for and more as an outlet for unrelated stressors.

so he tells hyunjae. “i mean, you can still write it. even if it doesn’t end up sold to your company, or their artists, you can still get it out of your system and see how you feel about it later. besides, it’s not like summit couldn’t go that way if they wanted.” with the right nudging,definitely, although he’s unsure who could provide that. he nods at the next comment – free time isn’t free time at all, not in his opinion, but that’s a minor detail he doesn’t feel the need to mention. “maybe so. but being here or being somewhere else to film, i don’t think it makes a huge difference. it’s nice to see friends, though.” especially those he rarely gets to meet, with conflicting schedules making it difficult to keep in touch. “that’s true. the middle of the night, but it stretches for a few days. could always just block the light in the studio and pretend if you don’t want anyone to bother you, though.”

there's this thought he kept setting aside for some time now. focusing on the positive, worried that it might bring back habits even worse than the ones he turns to now. it came to a point that when an opportunity to unwind presented itself, he grabs it without hesitation just to clear his head. he wasn’t exactly the type to attend these kinds of things anyway, not even before. but the idea of finding a fatal flaw in a career he was starting to enjoy made him try things he used to be wary of and grew to appreciate them. some people may say he's turning a blind eye, but he liked to think he was just playing the hand he's dealt.

still, seungyong's words hit very close to home. it struck something inside hyunjae, but he wasn't the type to react recklessly. the other didn't know and he was just speaking his mind. hyunjae understood that better than anyone, and this reaction, his, was what he expected from others -- not the eye-rolling or the walking away kind. "that's true," he sighs, nodding his head ligtly. "i'd feel even better though if i could release something exactly the way i want, not a formulaic sound, or boxed by a chart-topping template." now, that was just mindless talk. perhaps too straight forward. they both know the answer to it anyway. he lets out a quiet laugh, "did that on my first few weeks, but people seem to know the trick already so..." his shoulders rise and fall at the thought of yejun or rose barging in every now and then. "but you're right, there's not enough sad summer love songs these days."

[vldhyunjae]

han hyunjae; jeju 2020.

[vldhyunjae]

vldnari·:

nari scoffs at the idea of an apology. it’s not as if it was her fault the city was unusually busy right at the same time she had needed a ride. she was a victim to circumstance and he’d have to live with sitting for a few more minutes. she sits down and takes a drink of water that had been waiting for her as well before looking at the food, picking up her chopsticks and deciding which she should eat first. she ignores hyunjae for food that is much needed and deserved. 

her gaze looks up as he says he had written a song for her to feature on. nari raises her eyebrows. “oh, you wrote a song for me?” nari says in a silly tone. “what a flirt.” he pushes his phone at her, requiring her to search in her massive handbag for her headphones. she presses play, putting another mouthful of food into her mouth as she listens. “oh, it’s good? definitely my style.” she sets down her chopsticks, listening to the whole thing with her full attention. “you sure you wanna waste a good song on me?”

they had been friends for a while, and hyunjae was used to nari being, well, nari. "we're way past that," he said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "actually, i don't think we ever went there so..." his shoulders raises and drops as he snickered, trying his luck with teasing his friend. he was not, in anyway, saying that she was not attractive -- she is, it was just that he only had eyes for yejun. he couldn't see himself being with anyone else the way he was with him. not even rose or nari, who were two of his closest friends.

"right?" he smiles, elbow resting on top the table, and cheeks resting on the palm of his hand as he continued to eat. "i thought of you when i was half way through it," he had this nonchalant-but-actually-observing act down to a t that there were days that he actually believed nothing was a big deal. "i'd feel a lot better if this goes to you," he assures her, reaching out to flick her forehead. "what is with this self-deprecating attitude, hm?" he frowns, pinching her nose.

[vldhyunjae]

vldrose·:

rose eaches out to punch playfully hyunjae’s shoulder as he mocks her, laughing with him. “don’t you though?” rose says, raising an eyebrow. “i mean i think every time i see you, you have a coffee cup in hand.” rose follows his eyes, looking to the pile of coffee cups and then giving hyunjae a look. “i’m not judging. at least, not without just cause.” rose reaches out to give his cheek a smack, rather than a pat, but as always, in a playful away. “yeah, sure.”

as hyunjae speaks, rose leans forward, listening to his thought process. she turns to watch the program play out the track that he’s working on and then looks back to hyunjae. she nods and gives him a smile. “it sounds good,” she tells him. “what do you want me to sing? that part?”

there were only a few people who could make hyunjae drop anything it was he had his full focus on to just relax. and rose was one of them. there was not a conversation that he had with his friends (and some days his family) that did not start out with his affinity for caffeine. he never saw it as a problem, it wasn't hurting anyone. but when it was pointed out by people whose opinion he takes into account, maybe he needed to take a step back. he sets the thought aside for a moment, brows knitting as he feels more than a tap, "hey that hurts!" he lets out, being dramatic.

"you always say that," hyunjae was not the type to doubt himself, but prior rejections does things to people, even the most confident. it was different in the sciences, there are supporting data and evidences you can presen. in this industry, it was different. very different. he pulls up on the screen what he had for the lyrics, "yeah, that one... and maybe this?" he turns to her with a hopefuly smile, humming to the melody that was playing. "for the sin of swallowing up the afternoon sun, i’m right here, so hot... alone with you tonight. singing in the rain..." he nods his head to the drop at the chorus. "does it sound weird?"