VocalistNoctis

[vocalistnoctis]

The "can't" mentality

The “can’t” mentality

Today I would like to talk about the idea of “can’t”.

Whenever my father told me to do something my response was always “I can’t..”

Typically his response was “You haven’t even tried how do you know you can’t”

I haven’t been able to shake this mentality, I feel as though just saying I can’t do something makes it easier for me to not put myself out there and get hurt.

If I can’t do something I…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Adapt

In life sometimes we are forced to adapt. I personally have, had to deal with mental and emotional abuse and sexual abuse as a child. On top of being moved around the country my whole school career. I had to make friends and leave friends. I had to change myself to fit in. All this and still in my adult life I have to adapt. Currently, I was told I would not be renewed for a job that I love…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Top 5 Goals for 2018

It’s that time of year again to make a bunch of goals and try for maybe two weeks and give up. That’s the usual attitude I usually have. But this year I hope that I can pick a few things and stick to them. So here are my top 5 goals for 2018.

Drink more water

This is a very simple goal. I should be drinking a lot more water. I’m low key addicted to Dr. Pepper and it’s a real problem. If I saved…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

30 Days with no social media *Final Thoughts*

Hey everyone!

I know I have been very quiet recently and honestly I don’t have a major excuse other then I was just living life. If you don’t know I work 40 hours a week with children with special needs. Though a rewarding job it is very draining on me. So that’s a huge reason I haven’t posted.

So the challenge itself, honestly I do not do everything I said I wanted too. I did stay off all social…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Memories

Hey everyone!

I know I said I was going to post everyday this month, well life happens sometimes. Sorry folks!

This time of year has me thinking a lot of the past. The holiday seasons can be the most memorable times of the year. So I come to you today with a request. Even if you aren’t able to buy someone a gift, share your love with them.

Just being there for someone this time of year is very…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

What brings you joy?

Through this experience I am slowly learing what brings me joy.

To name a few:

Music- I can’t tell you how many hours of music I have been listening too. It has assisted the silence that’s around me. And it has helped me get off my butt and dance sometimes.

Learning- The only thing I have been trying to watch on Netflix is things that stimulate my mind. I have been loving documentaries! I really…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

How strong are you?

Most people want to put on this facade of strength. It’s thought if you aren’t strong then you must be weak and weakness is a kin to being useless.

So how do we define what strong is?

Mental

If one is mentally strong it is assumed that they have complete control of all their emotions, they don’t let the thoughts of there’s influence them. But honestly how realistic is that. At some basic level we…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Manifesting your goals

  I’m a victim of The Secret, if you don’t know what that is it is a book (and Netflix documentary) about the law of attraction.

The law of attraction is “In the New Thought philosophy, the law of attraction is the belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life.”

This concept is one of the biggest reasons for me revamping…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Isolation

Today I finally feel isolated. I’m home sick and all I want to do is surf the internet and take my mind off being sick. So far the only thing I have done with this challenge is not be on social media. If I was doing social media right now I would be surfing for hours.

I have no one to talk to which is frustrating. My husband is at work and I’m here battling a fever and body pain. I guess it is…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Stress

My head is a mess of stress. I have been trying to get everything squared away for this coming Spring semester for the school I plan on attending. I have turned in everything they have asked for but there are still holds on my account and I have already missed signing up for some of my classes.

That being said today I understand why I’m always on the internet. It’s a distraction. I would rather…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Connections

Today after work I watched a movie. It’s called Boss Baby. Now I know what your thinking Josh that’s a children’s movie what value does that have. Well I’ll tell you I was in tears from this simple kids movie.

I have been really realizing that I have lost most of my connections. My relationships with people are now fleeting. I can be someone’s best friend for years and the next never speak to…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Creative venture

Hey everyone this is going to be a shortier upload today. 

Today I woke up early (which is a miracle) and I got to listen to some K pop and then mediate alittle. I felt compelled to grab a few crystals today to help me through the day.

There is a green aventrine heart, a smokey quartz and rose quartz. 

The aventrine helps with a few things but anxiety and new opportunities are big ones. 

The smoke…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Introspection and Declutter

I’m proud to say I have made it past day one of no social media! YAY me 🙂

AS we know I posted the last update at like 4:30 am and I have been up since then. I watched two documentaries on Netflix, first Minimalism: A Documentary

This documentary follows two friends that gave up what most would consider dream lives in the pursuit of inner peace and happiness. They share their stories about how…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

30 Days to find Happiness

I have spent several years feeling unhappy and unfilled. With my physical health and mental health being in such a poor state I have decided to challenge myself to 30 days of no social media. This challenge is going to be the hardest and most isolating thing I will ever do. I am going to outline some of the rules I’m going to adhere too and my thoughts of what will happen and the things I learn…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

The English Path

A little historical fiction, hope you enjoy!

To give some background I am a huge art history nerd. This piece was for an art history class and I just wanted to share it with you. Hope you enjoy! Also the image is from the gallery in the Vatican.

    We started our voyage to Santiago de Compostela not by walking about by boat. Like any civilized British Men we took our vessel to the port of Ferrol. We landed and started our journey on foot.…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

Internet Famous

Just some musing about the internet age! Let me know what you think!

Like most of us I can’t escape the world of the internet. We live in a age where people are making six figures by posting videos on the internet. But apart from that it seems like there really isn’t a whole lot of ways to make money on the internet. The life of the Youtuber or Streamer seems grand and fun but at what price? Let’s look at what I think some positives and some negatives to an online…

View On WordPress

[vocalistnoctis]

What does it mean to be the token gay?

What does it mean to be the token gay?

There are a lot of stereotypes that people make up for all kinds of different people. Gays are no exception. I wanted to bring attention some of the things that have been said to me or assumed about me because I have been the “Token” gay of my town.

I don’t want to go shopping

Just because I’m gay does not mean I know how to dress you sis.  I can barely dress myself sometimes let alone you. I…

View On WordPress