AND FINALLY... not too happy with the result but I need to get this idea out of my head.
The one thing that Sam wanted, was to have one normal day. She loved the ghosts, but she needed a day off.
“Still hiding from the kids?” Jay asked with a smile while chopping some carrots.
“It’s not hiding if they know where I am” she answered returning the smile “now shut it, let me finish this before one of them barges in with a special request.”
“Hey Sam” Alberta crossed the wall to the kitchen, where Sam was typing on her laptop, attempting to finish an article about the latest scandal involving the Farnsby’s unpermitted pickleball court “there’s something wrong with Hetty and Trevor. Usually, Trevor is all about watching one of his movies at least once a day.”
“Okay? And that’s weird because?”
“Because he has been laying on the couch at the library and Hetty is also there, looking out of the window.” She replied giving Sam a pointed look.
“What is it? Update?” Jay asked leaning close to her.
“Apparently Alberta is worried because Trevor didn’t want to watch one of his rom-coms and he is at the library with Hetty just doing nothing.”
“That’s weird, ‘no pants’ is always up for a good 90’s rom-com.”
Sam did think that was weird, she got up and went to find them with Alberta following right behind. Jay shouting to ask her to inform him of the drama, later.
The blonde stopped short when she spotted a young girl at the front desk.
“Oh, hello there!” she greeted her potential guest “Welcome to the Woodstone B&B.”
The girl, who mustn’t have been more than sixteen, turned to look at her. Her auburn wavy hair was adorned with a headband that prevented it from going to her face, her blue eyes focused on her and a gentle smile graced her lips.
“Hello, I’d like a room, please”
“Um, you have to be at least eighteen for that” the blonde said.
“I just need a night, I promise I won’t cause any trouble” the girl insisted, looking at her pleadingly.
“I am so sorry, but I can’t. I could get into a lot of trouble if someone finds out.”
“No one will, I promise” oh those blue eyes were trouble “I just need to stay here for a night, it’s hard to explain but long story short, my parents lived here.”
“What? The only person who lived here was an old lady”
Flower, Sass, Isaac and Pete were watching everything from the stairs.
“According to a letter they left for me” she said while pulling out a letter from her backpack “she was gone for a whole year while they were here.”
Thor, Hetty and Trevor appeared right behind Alberta and just stared at the girl.
“You can read the letter” the red head said, giving her the letter.
Sam started reading and her eyes opened up in shock, she glanced at Trevor and Hetty and back to the letter. All the other ghosts were looking at them while whispering among themselves.
Dearest daughter, my sweet little princess:
It is with a heavy heart that we write you this letter, we know that you might have a thousand questions and no answers as to why we had to part from you. Unfortunately, we are not in the position to answer them, we cannot without sounding like two crazy people. There are a lot of uncertain things surrounding our goodbyes, but know this, the only certain thing we can and will always assure you is… that we love you very much.
One day, when you are older, we hope that you find the answers you may want at the only place we can think of: Woodstone Manor. We have been blessed with a year with the house to ourselves, the lady of the house having gone to another city.
Please, dear Haven, never forget that the hardest choice of our lives, was to give you up.
P.S: Please, I’m begging you to never date a guy, or at least to wait until you are like thirty or something. Dudes can be schmucks (I’d know because I am a dude).
P.S 2: Do not mind your father, he is a little protective right now. But as your mother I must warn you, no Irish men.
Love, your mother and father (H&T).
“This can’t be possible, right?” she asked around, eyes landing on the couple that were looking more and more captivated by the girl.
“What is it?” Jay said walking out of the kitchen, Sam gave him the letter and he looked as shocked as her after reading it. Looking at the girl then to Trevor and Hetty “HOW?”
“Samantha, I think it would be best if the girl is not here for this conversation” Hetty started, walking closer to the girl and looking at her as if she wanted to memorize every single detail “I know this must be shocking but we, all of us, haven’t told you about the last months of 2006.”
“Haven is my daughter” said Trevor stepping up next to the girl.
Okay so... this is an idea not the full first chapter obviously.
Thoughts???
Sam was with Jay in the kitchen when the doorbell rang.
“It's a girl!” Shouted Flower “Oh, such pretty hair she has.”
Sam smiled at her and went to open the door, she looked at the ghosts, turned and smiled before opening.
“Welcome to the Woodstone B&B!”
The young girl smiled nervously at her, murmuring a soft ‘thanks’ before following the blonde inside.
“Do you have a reservation?” Sam asked already behind the front desk, searching on the computer.
“No, actually I came here to ask you something” the girl said, nervously twisting her fingers “my name is Haven, I was born in this house fifteen years ago.”
Sam looked at her in shock, hearing the gasps from the ghosts, mainly Isaac.
“That's not possible, there was an old lady living here.”
“Well, from what I was told, she wasn't at the house in that moment” the girl stated “she was out of town for a whole year.”
“Then how is it that you were born in this house if no one was living here?” Sam asked visibly confused.
“Oh no” said Alberta before steeping closer to Sam “we should probably talk about that year.”
“I don't know” the girl said “I just know that I was born here, my parents left me at an orphanage and all I had was a letter and this” she held a heart shaped locket “unfortunately it didn't have a picture.”
All the ghosts had started to speak at the same time, minus Hetty and Trevor.
“SILENCE” Sam shouted “I mean, we need silence to have this conversation, why don't you come with me to the kitchen? I can make you a cup of tea if you'd like.”
The girl nodded, following her to the kitchen while the ghosts trailed behind them.
“Haven, this is my husband Jay, Jay this is Haven” Sam introduced them.
“Nice to meet you, Jay” the girl smiled.
“You too” Jay answered.
“Well, what does the letter say? If I may know that is.”
The girl handed her the paper and sat next to Sam.
“My dearest daughter, my beautiful princess” the girl started, knowing the contents of the letter by heart “we know you might have so many questions one day, about us and why we left you in this place. Unfortunately we won't be able to answer them, but the one certain thing we can assure you of, is that we love you, so very much.
Parting from you is one of the hardest decisions we have made.
I hope that the questions you have, may be answered one day at Woodstone.
P.s: Please don't date until you're like thirty, I know what I tell you, I'm a man.
P.s 2: Don't mind your father, but please, no Irish men.
Love, your parents H and T.”
H AND T? Sam was reading and reading the end of the letter, looking desperately at the ghosts. Especially Hetty and Trevor, both of them were looking at the girl.
“WHAT THE HELL?” Sam stood up, standing next to a shocked Jay “This is literally not possible, is it?”
“Actually, it is,” Trevor said, stepping forward, “we need to talk about that year.”
“We must” Hetty whispered, her eyes never leaving the young girl. Her auburn hair a match to her own, her blue eyes just as blue as hers “because she is Trevor's daughter… and mine too.”
Asher Grodman who plays Trevor on CBS ghosts mentioned in a podcast that he and the rest of the cast were asked by the producers before season one, what would be some stories they would want for their characters, and him and Rebecca, both separately mentioned- without discussing it beforehand that they wanted to see Hetty and Trevor together and I love that for them
The fact that I fell in love with them, already read every single fic out there and they are not even together anymore... I love me and my good taste to ship people who either break up or one of them dies... AND IN THIS CASE THEY ARE ALREADY DEAD
it’s actually really interesting how philoise antis genuinely believe they’ll be writing off that ship when eloise gets her season cause what then is the logical reason behind marina and phillip being introduced as early as s1 and phillip still being given some screen time, though minuscule, that shows you more about him in s2? especially set in romney hall where tspwl takes place? chris fulton is not a big enough star for them to bring in just for a fun little cameo not once but twice if he’s not gonna have a bigger role later on. and again not to mention that he is clearly cast as a future bridgerton spouse
addendum: there’s a scene in s2 as well where eloise speaks about knowing where romney hall is located. that’s a huge easter egg for her season
No, because I've seen the antis saying they hate Phillip but have they understood the book? They blame him for Marina's suicide like bish he tried to save her, she was depressed. If he didn't marry her, she would have fallen in disgrace because, unfortunately, for the time an unwed and pregnant woman was not well seen. He tried. She must have tried to go on for her children but we know depression is one of the worst mental illnesses.
summary: You and Joel get to know each other better and the two of you share a private moment out behind the barn under the stars; an unexpected guest shows up to the party; Tommy gives Joel a second and final warning about you.
pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic Female Reader
warnings/tags 🏷️ 18+ only, minors dni. (TW) more hints at a strained/abusive marriage, implication of domestic violence; reader and Joel yearning for each other, mostly soft Joel, hints of jealous and protective Joel here and there. **canon storyline deviation, Maria has only now just discovered she’s pregnant.
word count 6.2k
a/n 📝 welp, here is the next installment! there's not much to say except that I love every single damn trope I am throwing into this series and I am not even remotely close to being sorry for mixing them all together lmao. also the first half might be a bit slow but these details and reader’s interactions with Maria and Tommy are going to play an important role later on, which is why I included this scene. comments and reblogs are always very much appreciated and welcome, thank you for your sweet reading time!
Shall I stay
would it be a sin
if I can't help falling in love with you
About an hour later, after tossing back about three or four bottles of Seth’s crappy beer, you’d started feeling a lot livelier, and more like yourself. It was a glass of his delicious, oak barrel aged whiskey that you’d wanted more than anything, but with Esther over at the bar openly flirting up a storm with Joel Miller, you pushed down the desire and settled for the bitter, sour lager instead.
It tasted god awful, but it did the job well enough; the best part was that the bottles of beer were all readily available in coolers all around the barn, and you didn’t need to go up to the bar to get one. The last thing that you’d wanted was to find out what was going on between Esther and Joel.
Whether or not she would succeed in getting him into her bed tonight, you didn’t want to know that either. Not if you could help it.
“And the next thing you know, poor John is being chased all around the chicken coop by a bunch of broody hens!” Martha finished her story, throwing her hands up in the air. “God, I wish I would’ve had a camcorder in hand! The funniest thing I ever did see in almost two damn decades.”
Everyone sitting around the table burst into a fit of loud, hearty laughter.
“Oh okay, so that would explain why there weren’t all that many eggs in stock at the market the other morning,” You joked, only fueling the commotion.
John glared at you, and you shrugged innocently, fighting back another laugh. Six foot two with big, broad shoulders and arms, you found it both very difficult and amusing to picture the blonde haired, green eyed man being chased around by a flock of pissed off chickens.
“I’d really like to see any of you guys try and take a broody hen’s eggs away from her with ease!” John huffed out before taking a gulp of his beer. He was red in the face, and it was hard to tell if it was from the alcohol or the embarrassment. “Assholes.”
Martha leaned over, whispering, “See? I told you it would make him mad.”
You giggled, lightly shaking your head at her. “Talk about ruffling some feathers, huh?”
She snorted into her plate, jabbing her elbow into your side. “Let’s stop before he really gets all riled up or else we’re going to get an earful.”
“Oh come on, John. Lighten up,” You grinned over at him from across the table. “I know what’ll make you feel better. You guys want to hear a really, and I mean really embarrassing story?” You paused for a second or two, just long enough for everyone to nod eagerly. “Let me tell you about what Stella did to me the other day in her stall when I tried to take her temperature, it was absolutely awful—”
“Sorry to interrupt you folks, but do you all mind if we steal this sweet little lady here for just a minute or two?” The sound of Tommy’s smooth and deep voice caused you to stop abruptly and glance over your shoulder only to see him approaching you; he was closely followed by Maria, who had traded her usual patrol duty attire for a light blue denim dress that sat off of her shoulders, the skirt falling to her knees.
Her white cowboy hat matched her husband’s.
“C’mon, Miller! She was just about to tell a story!”
Tommy chuckled, shaking his head. “I promise we won’t keep her too long, alright?”
You immediately noticed he was holding a drink in each hand, each glass filled almost to the top with a rich and bold, amber colored substance over ice; the only reason that you’d immediately known one of the two drinks was meant for you was because Maria had just found out that she was pregnant. It was still a secret that very few people knew about, but the minute she confirmed it with a pregnancy test, she’d come running to your door to tell you. It was the reason she was avoiding booze and held a glass bottle of lemonade in her hand instead.
“Excuse me,” You nodded politely to the group of friends you’d been sitting with and stood up from the table. You followed Tommy and Maria over to a far corner of the barn where the three of you could talk somewhat privately. Accepting the drink from Tommy, you offered him a wide and grateful smile, happy that you’d gotten the drink you had wanted after all. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He nodded and tipped the brim of his hat to you in his typical, gentleman like manner.
He’d never lost an ounce of those Texas manners.
Maria looped her arm through his. “Well, it looks like tonight was a real success,” she stated as she glanced around the room, her pride written clearly across her face. “Wouldn’t you say so?”
“Absolutely,” You agreed without missing a single beat. You smiled again and lifted your glass to the couple as you toasted, “Another year and another success. Here’s to many, many more to come.”
“Cheers to that,” Tommy grinned and lifted up his glass, clinking the rim of it to yours before taking a generous drink, draining almost all of it at once in a single gulp. “Thanks for stoppin’ by earlier and helpin’ set the place up, by the way. We appreciate it.”
You waved your free hand at him. “Oh, no need to thank me at all. You already know that I was more than happy to help out,” You told him as you took a careful sip of whiskey; the hard liquor burned its way down your throat in the sweetest way. Taking another sip, you turned to look at Maria, unable to help yourself from admiring her gorgeous, natural glow. “How are you feeling?”
“Not too bad,” Maria replied with a smile, placing her free hand over her flat stomach. At only a few weeks along, she still hadn’t begun to show. “Just a little bit of morning sickness here and there, but so far, so good.” She paused and leaned her body into Tommy. “I never thought I’d be having a baby in my forties,” she mused with a laugh. “I thought that train had left the station a long time ago. But I guess life had something else planned for me.”
“For us,” Tommy corrected, playfully nudging her.
“For us,” Maria echoed, giving him a loving kiss on his cheek. “Luke calls it a geriatric pregnancy, and he told me I’m automatically considered high risk, due to my age. But we’re hoping it’ll go smoothly.”
You could detect the genuine concern behind her optimistic smile and reached out, gently touching her arm. “I’m sure it will all turn out fine. You just have to make sure that you’re taking good care of yourself and getting plenty of rest.” You pointed a finger at her, wagging it back and forth. “So, that means no more patrol duties for you, Mrs. Miller.”
“Oh I know,” she laughed again. “I’m on light work duties starting next week and in a few months, it’ll be strict bed rest for me. At least that’s what Luke recommended, but I’m hoping to stay on my feet for a little bit longer than that.” She paused, tilting her head curiously at you. “Speaking of Luke, is he around? We haven’t seen him at all tonight.”
You gripped your glass tightly, the corners of your mouth threatening to turn downward, but you still held your smile well enough.
At this point, you had pretty much lost track of the number times you’d been asked about Luke.
Where is he? Why isn’t he here with you? Do you think there’s a chance he’ll show up tonight? Can you go home and convince him to join us?
You just about loathed the way he was considered to be a hero in Jackson. The way that every single damn person in the community adored the man to pieces made you sick to your stomach—Luke was anything but a hero, but nobody knew that. Not a soul knew the real him, the monster that emerged behind closed doors when no one was around.
There had been an occasion or two where you had considered going to Tommy and Maria about it; to tell them all about the horrors that went on within the four walls of your home. But even when they’d point out a bruise on your arm or a scrape on your cheek, you would lose the courage and chalk it up to a clumsy accident or injuries sustained while on the job—hell, just a few months ago, you’d blamed an injured shoulder on Ranger, telling Tommy that his stallion had accidentally kicked you during one of your routine examinations. You wanted nothing more than to tell him that it hadn’t been his horse who put you in a sling for three weeks, it had been Luke. But how the hell could you do that?
Luke was the commune’s doctor. Besides the two older nurses who worked in the clinic with him, he was the only medically trained professional, and it often dawned on you that Jackson really did need him. If you went and told Tommy and Maria about everything that he’d done to you over the last two years, then you’d risk getting Luke thrown out and exiled from the settlement. What would that mean for the people in the community who fell ill or who became injured and needed a trained physician?
Maybe he wasn’t a hero to you, but to everybody else, he was. People could die without him and his medical knowledge. Hell, Maria would need Luke now more than ever now that she was pregnant.
For as much as you wanted to tell them the truth about him, you just couldn’t find the guts to do it, not when the decision would impact every single person in Jackson. It would be too selfish.
So, you’d kept quiet. And you continued to just let it happen because what else could you do?
Nothing.
There wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it.
Tommy said your name, snapping you back out of your thoughts. “Hey, you alright?” he asked you as he gingerly touched your shoulder. “You zoned out on us for a minute there.”
You blinked. “Yeah sorry, I’m alright. Luke decided to stay at home and get some rest,” You replied as you shifted awkwardly from boot to boot, feeling a sudden heat flood your face. “He’s been working a lot of hours at the clinic and making house calls as well, so he’s just been really tired, you know?”
“Oh, well that’s too bad,” Maria frowned. “Tommy and I were hoping we could say this to the both of you together, but I suppose you’ll have to give him the message on our behalf when you get home to him later tonight.”
You shot her a puzzled look. “What is it?”
“We know we don’t say this as often as we should, but you and Luke do so much for us,” Tommy said, a sincere gratitude dripping from his tone. “We’re damn lucky to have the two of you in Jackson. Me and Maria, and everyone in this community, we’re all deeply indebted to both of you for all you do.”
You stared at him, almost blankly. “Everyone here works very hard, Tommy—”
“Now I ain’t saying they don’t,” he interrupted you, holding up his hand. “But let’s be honest. Luke, he takes good care of all of our people, you take good care of all of our horses—people and horses, that’s what keeps this place goin’ and you know it just as well as we do. Without the both of you lookin’ after our two most important resources, I ain’t too sure where the hell this place would be.”
Maria nodded in agreement with her husband and squeezed his arm. “Oh don’t be so modest,” she’d remarked as soon as she saw the expression that crossed your face. “He’s right. And we need you to know how much we appreciate everything the two of you do for this community.”
Tommy grinned, raising his glass in a toast. “To you and Luke.”
Stomach turning, you flashed them your very best smile and lifted your own glass, clinking it against his and then to Maria’s bottle of lemonade. “Well, I will certainly give him the kind message.” You took a quick sip of your drink, an overwhelming feeling suddenly washing over you; the room felt hot, like it had been lit on fire. “It’s starting to feel warm in here. I’m going to go outside for a minute to get a bit of fresh air. Excuse me.”
Before either of could utter another single word to you, you spun around on your heel and made your way across the barn towards the exit. Even as you hurried out, you’d caught sight of Ellie sitting with Dina at one of the tables, digging into her plate full of barbecue; Dina had leaned over and whispered something into Ellie’s ear and Ellie let out a cackle through a mouthful of food.
Despite everything, you couldn’t help but smile an actual, genuine smile this time around.
At least Ellie seemed to be having a good time.
That was more than enough for you.
Joel took a glimpse over Esther’s shoulder.
His eyebrows pulled together in a mixture of both confusion and concern as he watched you hastily leave the barn alone with a drink clutched in your hand and a strange expression on your face. You’d almost seemed upset.
The blonde in front of him had been going on and on about where she was from, although he hadn’t quite been listening to her the entire time she had been talking—or at all. Had Esther said Vermont?
Or maybe it had been Virginia?
Joel wasn’t all too sure, but he didn’t care enough to ask her to clarify. Besides, his thoughts were far too busy preoccupied with someone else.
Someone he needed to make sure was alright.
“Listen, it’s been real nice talkin’ to you,” he stated as he offered the woman the best, and most polite smile he could possibly muster up for her. He tried to ignore the awkward way she’d pouted at him, a sad, disappointed look flashing in her eyes. “I have to go and take care of somethin’ for a minute. Will you excuse me?”
He didn’t even give Esther the chance to respond. Setting his drink down on the counter, he gave her a quick nod goodbye and stepped around her. He started towards the barn’s exit, but before leaving, he tossed a quick glance in Ellie’s direction just to make sure she’d been doing okay without him. He had been keeping a close and watchful eye on her from the bar the entire time; after a while, it soon became apparent to Joel that Ellie had been doing just fine. She was scarfing down another helping of bison and potatoes, grinning from ear to ear as she talked with Dina, who seemed to be enjoying her company.
He couldn’t have been more relieved at the sight.
Joel stepped outside into the night, doing his best to be as subtle as he could possibly be as he took a look around, searching for you among the small, scattered groups of people who stood mingling, a buzz of chatter filling the air. You were nowhere to be found; his dark brown eyes fell to the ground.
He noticed a long trail of footprints left behind by what had to be a pair of cowboy boots, similar to the brown ones you’d been wearing. The odd way that they veered off in a random direction far away from the rest of the crowd tipped Joel off almost a bit too easily, letting him know they had belonged to you. Without even giving it another thought, he had started to follow them—the tracks led him all the way around to the back of the barn.
That is where Joel found you, leaning against the wooden, paddock fence. You were turned around with your back to him, your head tilted upwards.
Your gaze seemed to be lost somewhere up in the velvet, purple night skies and you were swaying to the pretty country melody that could still be heard coming from inside the barn. Your movement was so subtle, so soft that Joel would have missed it if he’d blinked.
Turn around, a sound voice in the back of his mind tried to reason with him. Go go back inside.
He ignored it, his legs moving forward to close the distance between the two of you.
The sound of his own boots crunching on several rocks mixed in with the dirt as he drew closer and closer to you caused you to jump slightly. You let out a tiny gasp and whirled around, your free hand flying to your chest.
“I’m sorry,” Joel hastily apologized to you, holding up both his hands to show that he wasn’t a threat. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Joel?” You were surprised to see him. “What are you doing out here?”
The area out behind the barn was just as dark as it was secluded; however, the moon that night was a full one, big and bright. It’s silver glow illuminated each and every single one of your features in such a beautiful way that it made his throat go dry, just like it had earlier that evening when he’d first seen you in that little white dress.
“Well ain’t that funny. I was actually just about to ask you the same exact question.” He fell into step beside you, leaning back against the fence. “What are you doin’ out here all by your lonesome?”
“Oh I just needed some fresh air is all,” You replied with a small, light shrug. You turned back around, leaning your forearms on top of the wooden fence, both hands wrapped around your glass of whiskey firmly. You’d been standing so closely to Joel that your shoulder touched his, though neither of you made a move to put space in between the two of you. “What’s your excuse?”
“Needed a breather from Esther,” he confessed. It was partially the truth. He couldn’t tell you he had really come outside to check on you.
“What do you mean? Didn’t you like her?”
“Don’t get me wrong, she’s nice and all,” Joel said, letting out a chuckle. He shook his head. “She just ain’t the kind of company I’m lookin’ for tonight.” He paused for just a brief second and crossed his arms over his chest, his sudden change in position causing his shoulder to press even closer against your own. “Tommy mentioned her to me when we were havin’ lunch together yesterday. He said he’d be willin’ to set us up, but I didn’t think his stupid ass would actually follow through with it.”
Confused, your lips parted ever so slightly.
Joel had already known about Esther?
“I’d told him I wasn’t interested in meetin’ her, but Tommy’s always had a real habit of not listenin’ to me,” he remarked, shaking his head once again.
The question had escaped you before you could even think about trying to stop it. “Why aren’t you interested?” You cleared your throat and added in the most nonchalant tone, “Esther is gorgeous.”
“Like I told you. She just ain’t the kind of company I’m lookin’ for tonight.”
“So what kind of company are you looking for?”
Joel hesitated, but answered honestly. “Yours.”
“Oh,” You breathed out, heart skipping a beat.
He tested the waters. “That alright to say?”
“Mhm,” was all you’d been able to utter. You were currently fighting to take a steady, even breath.
“You know, when I was on my way out here, I saw Ellie and Dina together,” Joel finally spoke up after a minute or two. “She honestly seems to be havin’ a real good time with her.” He nudged you with his shoulder, a hint of amusement in his voice as he’d turned to you and asked, “Now tell me why I have this strange little feelin’ that you had somethin’ to do with that?”
Your deep blush prompted his grin. You’d just been caught red handed.
“Okay, I may or may not have talked to Dina earlier today while we were setting up the barn. I asked if she could do me a favor and at least try and talk to Ellie tonight,” You admitted, sheepishly. “I told her about how much Ellie reminds me of her, and how I thought they would get a long.” You felt his dark eyes fixed intently on you, and you blushed again as you continued to explain yourself to him. It had only just occurred to you that perhaps you should have ran the idea by Joel; he was her guardian and the last thing you’d wanted was to cross any kind of boundary. “It took a little convincing. Dina can still be quite shy sometimes but she’s a good girl, I promise.”
Joel raised an eyebrow at you, letting his arms fall down to his sides. “Really? You did that?”
“Yeah. I did.” You nervously took a long sip of your whiskey before adding, “I hope that’s okay?”
“I really appreciate you doin’ that for Ellie.” Joel’s soft gaze met yours, the sincerity swimming in his eyes. “I appreciate everythin’ that you’ve done for her. It means a lot to me, more than I can probably even explain.”
“I can tell how important she is to you.”
Joel nodded. “Ellie is the most important thing in the world to me.” He stopped, releasing a long and heavy sigh. “She’s been through a whole lot, a hell of a lot more than anyone that age should have to go through.” He stopped momentarily and tried to keep his emotions in check. He swallowed harshly, and subconsciously leaned closer towards you as he dove in a little deeper. “Ellie, she ain’t my blood but she’s my daughter. For a long time, I thought I couldn’t take care of her and I thought that I didn’t have what it takes to protect her.”
“And what about now?”
“Now that we’re here, I feel real different about it all. I finally feel like I can keep Ellie safe. I can give her the life she deserves,” Joel stated, sounding a bit relieved, almost like he had just now made the realization.
Pulling yourself back from the fence, you glanced up at him with a curious expression. There were a thousand questions running through your mind at the moment, about him and about Ellie.
“Ellie hasn’t told me all that much about what she has gone through—about what either of you have gone through.” You caught sight of the worry that flashed in his eyes and reassured him, “And I don’t plan on asking because it isn’t any of my business. But in the short time I’ve gotten to know Ellie, I’ve already seen it in her eyes, Joel. It’s all there.”
“What’s there?”
“Every bad thing that’s ever happened to her.”
Joel hung his head. “You see it too, huh?”
And just like that, he’d felt like a fucking failure all over again.
“I know that you’re worried about her, Joel. I don’t blame you, but you’re doing all that you can,” You reminded him, the kindness in your voice causing a warmth to radiate throughout his body. “You’re here in the community now and she’s safe. That’s what’s important—all the rest is going to fall right into place soon enough. Just give her a bit of time and don’t put so much pressure on yourself.”
Joel sighed again. “I just want what’s best for her, you know? Just like any normal parent would want for their kid.”
“And you are doing the best that you can, just like any normal parent would.” You reached out, gently placing your hand on his bare forearm. Your mere touch sent a tingle up his spine, and little did Joel know that the connection had sent one up yours too. “It’s easy to see how much you love her.”
“I do love her,” he murmured. It felt almost foreign for him to say it out loud. Of course he loved Ellie, and although he was pretty certain she knew that and she loved him too, those three specific words had never been exchanged between them and he had the feeling they never would be. “All I want is to do right by her. After everythin’ that she’s been through, I just want her to finally be happy.”
“That says a lot about the kind of person you are.”
Joel shook his head, biting back a scoff. He didn’t want you thinking that he was a good person. You would be horrified if you knew about all the blood that stained his hands, about all of the things he’d done in the last twenty years.
Your hand dropped from his arm, a lot sooner than either of you would have liked.
“So, what’s your story?” he asked, feeling a desire to switch the focus onto you in an effort to know a bit more about you. “How’d you end up in good ol’ Jackson, Wyoming?”
You took another sip of your drink. “Well, like I told you, I grew up in New Mexico on a horse ranch. It was me, my parents, and my little brother,” You’d started to explain. “After the outbreak happened, me and my family ended up in the Albuquerque QZ. We were there for quite some time, until there was a breach at one of the gates and the zone was overrun with infected.” You paused briefly as the memories came flooding back. “Me and my dad made it out, but my mom and my brother didn’t.”
Joel frowned. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked—”
“It’s okay,” You assured him with a nod. “After me and my dad made it out of the zone, we found this group of people. It wasn’t long before everyone started to get picked off one by one—by infected, clickers, raiders, and even slavers. Somehow, we’d survived all that but we found ourselves alone. We were starving, had no shelter, and winter was just around the corner. We honestly didn’t know what we were going to do, and even though neither me or my dad ever said it, we thought we were going to die. But then Tommy and his patrol group came across us one night. Once we proved that neither of us were infected, he brought us in.”
“You’ve been through a lot,” Joel stated. He would have never guessed.
You seemed so well put together.
“Haven’t we all?” You let out a humorless laugh.
A silence fell like a curtain over both of you, but it was comfortable.
Although it had been a warmer night, it was now much later into the evening and a breeze found its way through the settlement, whisking its cool and crisp fingers through your hair. It caused the white daisy you’d been wearing in it to fall and the flower fluttered to the ground, landing right in between Joel’s boots. Without giving it a second thought, he reached down and picked it up, being careful as he gingerly dusted the dirt off of the delicate petals. He turned to you, tucking the flower back behind your ear; as his hand fell away from you, his index finger accidentally grazed the soft skin of your cheek, causing every part of him to flood with the burning desire to feel more of you.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” he mumbled sheepishly.
“It’s quite alright,” You assured him. You couldn’t remember the last time someone’s mere touch caused your insides to feel like they’d just gone up in blazing flames. You had been feeling cold and empty and numb for so long, and while all of the things that Joel was making you feel had become almost foreign, they were reigniting that spark of life inside of you that you’d lost long ago—and it was real, not part of the phony act that you put on for the entire community.
From inside the barn, the two of you could hear the band begin to play their cover of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’.
“Elvis, huh?” Joel mused, raising an impressed eyebrow.
You weren’t sure if the alcohol had suddenly just kicked into full gear in your system or whether you really did lack any kind of common sense, but you found yourself looking up at him shyly through your thick, dark eyelashes as you asked him, “How about another dance?”
“To this song?”
You flushed, tightly gripping your glass. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just that I really love to dance,” You sputtered out nervously, wishing you could teleport to another planet right about now. You only dug yourself further into the hole as you continued to ramble. “Luke doesn’t like to dance at all and he never dances with me—”
That’s all Joel had needed to hear.
He reached for your glass, taking it from you. He set it down on top of the fence and held his hand out to you.
“I’ll dance with you.”
Looking at him in surprise, you accepted his hand in yours. His other hand found your waist and you two began swaying along to the music, causing a smile that could light up the entire town to break out onto your face. Joel didn’t know Luke, but he couldn’t fathom how the man you were married to wouldn’t do just about anything to see that smile.
“Wait, I thought you couldn’t dance,” You teased, noticing the way he was leading you.
Joel shrugged, flashing you a grin. “Guess I ain’t so bad for fifty six with creaking knees.”
Remembering Ellie’s words from earlier, you threw your head back and laughed.
His stomach somersaulted over and over again in a tangle of want, nerves, desire, and jitters.
You being married did nothing to fucking stop it.
For either of you.
Not while you were in his arms.
Joel continued to lead you in the dance. He found himself singing along to the familiar lyrics, quietly, but just loud enough for you to hear the richness of his voice. “Like a river flows, surely to the sea,” he sang, subconsciously giving your hand a gentle squeeze in his. “Darlin’ so it goes, some things are meant to be.”
“Whoa,” You raised an eyebrow at him, looking and sounding impressed. “You’ve got a nice voice, Joel.”
“Think so?”
You nodded. “What, were you a singer in your first life or something?”
“Close.”
“Really? What did you do?”
“I was a contractor,” Joel replied, grinning as he elicited another sweet laugh from you. “I did enjoy singin’ a lot though and playin’ the guitar too. But it was a hobby more than anythin’ since I don’t think music would’ve paid the bills.”
You smiled up at him. “Well, now you’re going to have to play the guitar for me some time. Maybe even sing me a whole song?”
“I still owe Ellie a song,” he remembered, shaking his head. “But I don’t have a guitar, so it gets me out of it.”
“Well then we’re going to have to find you one and when we do, you’ll have to play something for us,” You told him. “Deal?”
“Deal.” Joel agreed. He started singing along to the lyrics again. “Take my hand, take my whole life too—”
“But I can’t help falling in love with you.” You tried not to laugh again at the shock on his face as you finished for him.
“You’ve got a real nice voice yourself.”
“Oh now you’re just being nice,” You accused him with another smile.
The song ended and neither of you made a move to let go of one another.
Joel’s eyes fell to your lips and it took every ounce of strength he had inside of him not to lean down and press his own lips against them.
Finally, he found it in himself to let go of you. He stepped back, clearing his throat. “I should, uh, I should go and find Ellie so I can get her home. It’s gettin’ kinda late.”
You nodded, your heart pounding inside of your chest. “Of course. I'll come with you so I can say goodnight to her.”
As the two of you made your way around the barn and back towards the entrance, Joel noticed a tall man with short dark hair approaching. He’d called out your name and something in Joel’s brain just instantly clicked—he knew exactly who the man was before you’d even had a chance to open your mouth.
“Luke?” You nearly squeaked out his name. “What are you doing here?”
“There you are. I was about to come out and look for you.” He came up and immediately took your arm, pulling you from Joel’s side and over to his.
Luke was a bit younger than Joel, definitely closer in age to Tommy—somewhere around his mid to late forties. He seemed to be a lot more clean cut than most of the other men in the commune with neatly kept hair and a near clean shaven face.
“What are you doing here?” You repeated.
“Now, is that really how a loving wife should greet her husband?” Luke laughed, holding you closer against his side.
Joel wasn’t all too fond of the way he held you.
Possessively.
“I decided to come and check it out. See what all the fuss is about,” Luke said. He glanced at Joel, his green eyes giving him a once over. “Don’t be rude, honey. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your new friend here?”
You spoke softly, almost too softly.
“Luke, this is Joel Miller.”
“Ah, Tommy’s brother, right?”
Joel did his best not too sound too curt. “That’s right.”
“Joel, this is Luke. He’s my husband.” You couldn’t even look him in the eye as you introduced him.
Luke extended a courteous hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Joel.” His other hand found and took yours. “I do hope that my wife here hasn’t been bothering you tonight. She can be quite the little chatterbox. Makes me wish she came with a mute button sometimes.”
Joel’s dark eyes briefly fell to Luke’s hand holding yours, taking note of the way he was gripping it so hard his knuckles had gone white. Between that and the comment he’d just made, Joel had every right mind to connect his fist to the side of Luke’s face.
“Luke, please,” You whispered, throwing him a tiny glare.
“Oh come on now, honey. Where did your sense of humor go? You know I’m only joking,” Luke stated, squeezing your hand a little harder, causing you to squirm.
Something told Joel he wasn’t kidding around.
“She hasn’t been a bother at all,” Joel spoke, his voice tight as he defended you. “Actually, I came out here to talk to her and to thank her for bein’ so kind to my kid, Ellie. Your wife here, she has been nothin’ but good to her since we arrived.”
“Well, as long as she wasn’t being a bother.” Luke glanced down at you. “If you’ll excuse us, there’s a few people that I still need to see and say hello to inside. Come along, honey.” He glanced at Joel, a strange glint in his eye as he told him, “Welcome to Jackson, Joel.”
Joel watched as he all but dragged you into the barn.
Nothing about Luke sat right with him.
The way he’d spoken to you, touched you, treated you.
And then there was you.
The way that you had changed around him, the way the light left your eyes and you went silent as a mouse the second he came into the picture.
Something wasn’t right.
A rough hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts.
“Really, Joel? Really? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tommy hissed, yanking him over to the side of the barn so nobody would overhear him. “What the fuck did I say yesterday in the mess hall?”
“What the hell are you talkin’ about?”
His brother glared at him. “I know that you ain’t as dumb as you look. What were you doin’ out here alone with her?”
Joel pursed his lips together in silence.
What all had he seen?
Tommy had read his mind. “You were dancin’ with her you fuckin’ asshole? Did you fuckin’ forget that she’s married?”
Joel rolled his eyes at him, shoving his hand off of his shoulder a little more aggressively than he had meant to. “We were just dancin’ together, alright? It ain’t like we were makin’ out, Tommy.”
“I don’t give a fuck! If I saw any man that wasn’t me dancin’ with Maria like that, I’d want to fuckin’ murder him with my own two hands!” He nearly spat. “Her husband just showed up to the damn party. You’re lucky that it was me who saw you out there with her and not him. What if he’d seen you two? Then what?”
“Tommy, relax,” Joel tried to calm him. “It was just a dance, alright? It was nothin’ more than that.”
“You listen to me and listen to me good, because I ain’t fuckin’ gonna say it again, big brother. Don’t go gettin’ any ideas about her. I don’t need you to go around stirrin’ up any kind of trouble,” Tommy said, his voice firm. “We can’t have that kinda shit here. Maria won’t tolerate it, and you know what, I won’t either. Don’t cause problems. Got it?”
Joel Miller x Ex-lover!Reader (She/her), OC!May Miller x Mom!Reader, Tommy Miller x Reader (Platonic af)
Chapter II
Summary: In which a girl discovers how the new man in town — who was accompanied by another teenage girl — and her mother were closely and intimately related once, and how almost two decades after they last saw each other, their reunion could possibly turn their worlds upside down.
New people in town playlist! ✨
Warning: swear words, mentions of death, violence and sex, possible smut in the future, ANGST, etc. Possible spoilers!
A/N: English is not my maternal language, Spanish is, so I will take advantage of that in the future lmao. Also if you see any grammatical error, please let me know!
Tag list: Open! If you wanna be tag let me know, also if by any chance you wanna get removed, also let me know! Ty :)
Feedback is really appreciated! ❤️
2005
She wasn't the least bit used to sleeping next to someone, sharing a bed and such a small space. Even before the outbreak, she was not. Yes, she had occasionally shared a bed with one of her girl or guy friends, but it came always from the most platonic place possible. Whenever she had had sex, it had always been sporadic, with no possibility of sleeping in the same bed with such people.
This time it was different, he was different. And that was a problem. She didn't know if allowing herself to let her guard down in that way was going to benefit her in any way, or the opposite.
For every time you let someone into your life in a cruel world like the one she lived in, it only meant one more loss at some point.
The man she had lying next to her, naked, was not her boyfriend — in fact, he wasn't even her friend — they were partners, strictly. And roommates, occasionally. Still, she let her guard down for once, and so she ended up clinging to the warm, broad back of her partner, who was sleeping on his right side. She rested her forehead against the back of his neck, and as she closed her eyes, she listened to the rain falling outside.
It wasn't until her breathing matched his and she was about to fall asleep that he shifted his position and turned onto his left side, coming face to face with her, who still had her eyes closed, even though she was still pretty much awake.
"Shit." He mumbled in the darkness of the room, seeing her body so close to his. Naked and vulnerable, just like him. He did no more, admiring her briefly and pondering the situation he found himself in, despite the heaviness of his eyelids, he shook and dropped his head back onto the pillow, hiding his face in her hair, after that, he hugged her waist over the old blanket that covered them both.
When their breaths came in rhythm again, she opened her eyes and looked up, noticed his relaxed expression and ventured to stealthily bring her hand to the scar on the right side of his forehead, stroked it gently, lovingly, then moved on to caress the curls at the back of his head.
The rain was now falling harder outside, which caused her to look up to the window of the room, still not moving her head in the slightest. The water was falling heavily and was accompanied by the occasional silver streak of a lightning.
It was as if, in some way, the storm that was raging outside was a reflection of the internal struggle she was having.
Was letting her guard down with him a wise choice? Would it hurt in any way? Was he an exception, perhaps, even though they were still strangers?
Before she could even have an answer to all those questions in her head, she fell into the arms of Morpheus. And for the first time since it all began, she slept with an unfamiliar, warm sense of security, which allowed her to feel some sort peace.
2023
"Be very, very careful, okay, my love?" Said the progenitor whom still continued to see the teen as her baby. "Listen always to-"
"-Your aunt Maria. All the time, yeah, okay? I'll be fine. We won't go far." Said the young woman, named May, as she pulled on her gloves before heading to the horse she was about to ride.
"I will have my eyes on her, all the time. Nothing will happen to her, also I will make sure she learns a thing or two." Maria said as she approached the duo, she was accompanied by her husband, Tommy, and the horse she was gonna rode in. "She is a very sharp and clever girl, I assure you she will be a great addition to the expedition and patrol group."
"Maybe one day I can take charge of leading them, you'll see." Half-joked the curly-haired young woman, giving a glance at all the members of her little family.
"It's only a matter of time, sweetheart." Her uncle said, giving his niece a smile as he patted her shoulder playfully. "While you're gone I'll take care of your dearest mother here."
"Thanks, Uncle Tommy." May said before hugging her uncle tightly.
"You're getting stronger and stronger." The man commented with a tone of surprise as he felt the strong grip the young girl had exercised in that brief embrace.
"That's what happens when you lift more weights than your uncle." The brown-eyed girl scoffed, before glancing at her mother, who was looking at the pair in amusement.
"See you in the afternoon, mama." Said the young girl before hugging her mother. Unlike the hug she had with her uncle, this one lasted a little longer and was gentler.
Before they broke the embrace, Red took her daughter's face and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Enjoy the experience, and you better let me know how it went later." She said, squeezing her daughter's hands affectionately, before letting her go.
"Shall I walk you to the clinic?" Tommy asked, after watching his wife and niece ride off on their respective horses.
"Yeah, let's go, Texas."
Tommy ran a hand through his mustache and looked at his friend, who was walking silently beside him. She wore a small smile on her face, one that reflected melancholy, even regret in a way. The younger Miller put his hand on her shoulder, which caused her to stop and give him a curious look.
"What's on your mind, my friend?"
"It's nothing."
"Red?" the man asked, folding his arms. "Spill it, come on."
"Tommy." She said resting her hands on her hips.
"Reddie." He mimicked her, trying to goad her into talking. "I'm your best friend, you know you can tell me anything. You'll never be judged."
"I'm late for work."
The dark curly-haired man looked at his watch, then at his friend. "It's still 20 minutes before you start your shift at the clinic."
"She looks more like him every day." She said at last. "She’ll be 18 in a few weeks and in a way... I can't stop thinking about him lately. And everything he's missed out on with her, because of me."
"Oh, honey." Tommy sighed before pulling her into his body, and resting one of his hands on her head.
"Because of my fucking selfishness and fear of telling him the truth, May has grown up without her father and Joel doesn't even know he has a daughter."
"Listen to me, okay?" his best friend demanded as he grabbed her face with both hands, causing her to fix her gaze on his. "You made the right decision by leaving Boston and not looking back. Don't get me wrong, I love my big brother dearly, but back then, Joel was a fucking mess and didn't care if he blew up everything in his path after Sarah's death. Joel was only a shell of what he once was."
"Don't you think at least I should-"
"Don't torment yourself with the 'what ifs'. They won't help you at all." Tommy wiped the tears away from his friend's face and gave her a small smile. "Besides, you should be proud of the tremendous good job you've done raising your daughter on your own, on your fucking own, and in this fucking post-apocalyptic world.
"Thanks, Miller." Said the woman, smiling at her daughter's uncle. "You know what I love about May? She smiles when she sleeps, whenever I think about it, I feel so much better. Thinking about making sure she keeps smiling… motivates me to keep going."
"Sarah used to do that too."
"Yeah?" the Nurse asked, her eyes lighting up at the thought of the two sisters sharing one more small gesture. "I wish they'd met."
"Sarah would have adored May. Believe me when I tell you she wouldn't have left your daughter's side no matter what."
2005
"Are you all right?" asked the comforting voice from behind her, soon after she felt a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.
She brought her hand to his and closed her eyes briefly, trying to hold back the tears. She knew Joel wasn't a man who showed his feelings, he wasn't usually physically close to her, except for when they slept together.
She didn't know much about him, or his life before the apocalypse. She for sure knew very basic and trivial things, which you might find out about someone on a first date. But at the same time, even when she didn't know anything about his past, she felt an intimate connection and familiarity with him. She felt safe, secure. He was the only person who conveyed that to her.
"Yes, don't worry." She said, nodding slightly, as she brushed her tears away with her free hand.
He knelt down in front of her and cupped her face with both hands. From where she sat on his couch, she could only stand silently watching him intently. He was covered in grime and dust, probably from all the hard work he had done throughout the day. "Something happened at work."
"That sounds like a statement you're making."
"I know it is." He said with his characteristic tone, rough, but soft somehow. "Has anyone given you trouble?" the man questioned with a frown. She didn't answer. "Should I break someone’s jaw to-"
"-No!"
"Do... you want to talk about it?"
She sniffled and looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears that again threatened to spill from her eyes. She shook her head vigorously, and gently rested her forehead against his. "Joel... I- You'll see..."
"What's wrong?"
"I know it's just sex between us, and other than that, we're partners and occasionally roommates, but... can I ask you a favour?" the young adult woman asked, showing her weakness.
"I guess, yes."
"Can we — just for tonight, just for once — sleep together, just sleep?" With trepidation she asked. "I know that because of everything you've been through, you keep your distance from people, but I'm asking you… please. Just for one night, can we be friends? You're the closest thing I have to one here."
Joel seemed to think about it, but a few seconds later he nodded slightly, and without a word, rose from the floor and offered a hand to her, who took it. He pulled her to his body, and she collapsed into tears on his chest.
"Shh... easy. I've got you." He planted a kiss on her hairline and with one hand stroked her back. Her breath hitched briefly, but for a few moments she allowed herself to enjoy and savour this unusual little moment with him.
She was so fucked. She was toasted, no doubt about it.
Despite the fact that they were practically, as many would say, perfect strangers, she had fallen in love with him, and she knew that wasn't the fucked up part of the whole situation. The doubly fucked up part was making a decision as to how she was going to let him go.
It shouldn't be that hard, she used to think from time to time. He doesn't feel anything for me, she used to think too.
It should be relatively easy, shouldn't it? To let go of a person who you know doesn't love you back. Who you know doesn't see you as anything more than a partner, who would help him from time to time with some smuggling business or help him to patch up the wounds he got, either from a fight or from the work he did to earn ration cards. Well, that and a person with whom she occasionally fucked — lately much more frequently than before — to relieve his stress, anger, or whatever.
She didn't mind, when she felt the same way she would go to him for exactly the same thing. Only unlike him, at some point along the way, she ended up catching feelings for the guy from Texas.
Holy fuck.
2023
"Hey, mama!" The young woman with curly brown hair said coming through the door. She was almost 18 years old, tall and with slightly tanned skin. She had a beautiful, radiant smile, which made her nose, identical to her mother's, scrunch slightly. But undoubtedly her most distinctive features were her huge chocolate eyes and the freckles that adorned her cheeks and nose — a trait her own mother did not know from whom she had inherited them.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Her mother, no more than 43 years old, replied as she looked at her daughter curiously. "How did your first expedition out of Jackson go? Did you do what we agreed, May?" she asked, arching an eyebrow and crossing her arms, waiting for an answer.
"Always do what Aunt Maria says. Yes, maaaama." The young woman said as she leaned against the kitchen counter, and watched intently as her mother prepared the evening's dinner. "It was quite unexpected what happened today. You see, a man and his daughter, came in asking for Uncle Tommy."
"Maybe an old friend of his. You know, from when he was with the Fireflies." The mother said to her daughter as she opened the oven door, then picked up the big tray she was going to put in the oven.
"No, not exactly, madre. That man was looking for his brother, Uncle Tommy."
CLANK!
Once the tray made contact with the floor, silence reigned in the kitchen for a few seconds. The young girl approached her mother, concern and nervousness flooding her face.
"Mama, are you okay?" the chocolate-eyed girl asked. "Mom, do you know that man? Do you know who he is?" May asked in a whisper, as she stroked her mother's back.
She could only nod awkwardly and slowly, as she was unable to look her daughter in the eyes. She swallowed and went to one of the kitchen stools, where she sat down and hid her face in her hands.
She sighed regretfully, before opening her eyes and pushing her hair behind her ears. "Yes, I know him — knew him. That was a lifetime ago, my love. But that was before you were even born."
"Did he know... my father? Or perhaps he knows what has become of him?"
The woman looked at her daughter, and brought a hand to the stool beside her, inviting her beloved daughter, the thing she loved most in this broken world, to take her place beside her. "May. You should sit down, I think it's time I told you about him. It's time I told you about your real father — Joel Miller."
"Joel Miller? As if Miller like- Uncle Tommy?"
"Yes." Red admitted with a sense of defeat.
"I don't get it, Mom." With confusion reflected on her face the little girl said. "I'm supposed to have adopted my last name from Tommy because I needed one for school?"
"May. You see-"
"You're telling me that Uncle Tommy is, in fact, my uncle not only because of your good relationship, but also because of what he is biologically?" May gripped the kitchen counter tightly, while frowning and still confused, she tried to process the information she was receiving. "When were you going to tell me all this? Or didn't you plan to?"
"I don't know, sweetheart." She answered honestly as she stood up and tried to take her daughter's hand, to try to comfort her.
The teenager pulled her hand away before she could even touch it. She felt betrayed by her own mother. "Please- Don't!" She exclaimed raising her hands in the air in frustration. "Is that the reason he's here looking for Tommy!? Because he knows his brother has practically raised his daughter?"
Red was silent for a few seconds. "No... no that's- No. Besides, that's not possible."
"Ah, so Joel Miller has no interest in meeting own daughter?" the young woman asked sharply, as tears formed in her eyes.
"No, May, that's not it, alright?" sighed the mother as she looked away from her daughter and tried to find a way to tell her the truth.
"Then why?"
"Because he doesn't know he has a daughter."
"I mean, he- He's come all this way and he doesn't even know about me?" May asked, trying to stifle a sob. "Why didn't you tell me all this before?"
"Because I wanted to protect you!"
"From what? Holy shit, mom!" May exploded. She could no longer contain herself.
"From the fucking truth!" Her mother exclaimed in the same way. "That I was a fucking coward. And that because of my fucking decisions Joel hasn't even had a chance to... know about you."
"One thing we agree on then, mother. You're a fucking coward!"
A lump formed in Red's throat. Her breath hitched, her heart skipped a beat and her body began to tremble. Tears blurred her vision and she was unable to watch as her daughter angrily left the scene, which she let her know due to the tremendous slamming of the front door of the house, giving her to understand that she had left the house and left her alone, by herself with her regrets.
2005
“Joel.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm writing you this letter. I don't know if you care enough about me to at least write you an explanation, I guess I'm doing it rather for me. By the time you read this I will be gone. I'll probably be far away, maybe I'll never come back, or maybe I will.
I don't know what will become of me and that terrifies me, but at the same time it motivates me to keep going, to keep fighting. Just like you. Even though I haven't known you for very long, you've made a big impact on me. I know that we are very different, I know that many times we have disagreed on many things and that we have clashed, but even so, when I was not up to the task and I have probably been a hindrance to you, you have protected me and taken care of me — always from a distance, except when we both sought comfort in each other's arms —.
I know the last thing you want is to leave another person in your life. It's understandable, especially in a world like this where that means loss. This is one of the reasons why I'm leaving. To avoid jumping over the walls you have built, so that I can respect your boundaries and prevent you from ending up like me. I don't know at what point it happened, but you managed to jump over all my walls. You've been the only person capable of doing it until now and that terrifies me. I'm terrified of losing you. I'm also terrified of staying in Boston and seeing you letting your guard down with someone else, not being that person. I know it's selfish, but I didn't want to risk living in this broken world with an even more broken heart. It's probably already like that.
It already breaks my heart to leave you behind, without saying goodbye, but I know I will heal. I will find something that gives meaning to my life and I will fight on. I hope, too, that when you're ready, you'll find that reason too.
Try to be happy.
I love you.”
2023
"May! May!" Red exclaimed as she pounded on the door of Tommy and Maria's house. "Anybody home? Maria?" She asked as she took a few steps back and peered into the windows of the house, trying to see if there was movement inside.
She looked around the house and tried to see if there was any sign of the young girl with the curly hair anywhere, but there didn't seem to be any luck. She put her hands to her mouth and tried to warm them. She watched as the snow began to fall again, which caused her to go briefly into a small trance.
She remembered May's first snowfall, in the winter of 2005. She was only a few weeks old and they were both alone on the road, trying to find a safe place to spend the night. May had not stopped crying all day, hungry because she was not producing enough milk, as she had barely found food and water the last few days. The little girl's cries kept her mother alert all the time, waiting for an infected to appear and attack them. She could still remember the terror and paranoia in her bones. It wasn't until the snow began to fall that the newborn girl calmed down, watching the snowflakes fall, so that soon after she fell asleep.
"That May you are looking for is not here.”Said a voice that brought her out of her trance.
She walked back to the front door and there she saw a person she didn't recognise, poking her head out from inside. "You are not Maria.” Said the woman with obviousness.
"No. I'm Ellie." Said the young teenager, looking her up and down.
"You are the kid who was with Joel." Red muttered, looking at her intently. She didn't look like him.
Maybe she looked like her mother?
"Do you know him?" Ellie asked as she opened the door all the way and showed her body.
She nodded. "I used to, a long time ago." She replied rubbing her hands together from the cold. "I imagine you and your father came all the way from Boston. I hope the trip wasn't too hard," Red said sincerely, as she gave the teenager a small smile.
"That old man isn't my dad." Ellie laughed at the witticism of the woman standing a few feet away from her. "But- uhm... thanks?" She replied at what the woman had said to her about the trip there.
Reddie nodded her head and gave Ellie another small smile before setting off to find her daughter.
"Wait!" Ellie said to her from the doorway, causing her to turn and look at her curiously. "Why don't you go inside and wait for Maria? She'll be able to help you."
"Thanks, but I can't." She thanked the girl. "Please, when you see Maria or Tommy, can you tell them that if they see May to tell her that her mother is looking for her and to come home?"
The teen nodded her head. "I will." She whispered, in response.
"Thank you so much, Ellie." May's mother told her before turning back on her heels and heading off to find her daughter. "By the way, welcome to Jackson!" Ellie heard her saying from a little further away.
The young girl smiled to herself and watched as the woman disappeared into the distance, closing the door as she felt a cold breeze, but not before wondering how she knew Joel.
[…]
It had been three, almost four hours since May had left home and her mother had not been able to find her. It was as if she had disappeared from town. She had looked everywhere; at her friends' house, at Tommy and Maria's house twice, in the main hall of the village, in the stables... nothing!
She walked silently down the empty main street, not a soul was there. Everyone was gathered around the main hall watching that film of which she couldn't remember the name. Now it was colder than before, the sun had set a while ago and the snow was still falling, although now with less force.
She stopped to look at the Christmas tree and thought of her family, of all those she had lost. She smiled sadly as she wished things were different and that she could be held by her loved ones once more. She wished that the Outbreak had never happened, that nothing was the way it was.
No! Not that!
She shook her head, trying to shake off the thought. Yes, there were things she missed from her life 20 years ago, and there were certainly things she wished she hadn't lived since then. But May? May was a blessing and the best thing that had ever happened to her in her entire earthly existence. She was grateful to have her, and therefore thanked any deity or cosmic force for having put the Miller brothers in her path.
She resumed her walk once again, leaving the Christmas tree behind her. Hopefully her daughter would be there by now and they could talk about everything at length. At the thought, her stomach sank with nerves. But she ignored it.
May deserved to know the truth, she deserved to know everything.
As she was so wrapped up in her own thoughts, she didn't see that silhouette appear from the side and practically jump out at her, causing her to fall to the snowy ground surprised. But when she heard her daughter's laughter, a huge sense of relief washed over her.
She clung in a hug to her daughter's body, which was lying on top of hers, and then, she too burst out laughing. She looked to her side once her daughter lay on the floor beside her. She sighed and watched intently as the young woman, who was undoubtedly the spitting image of her one-time lover, gazed raptly at the night sky and lights around her.
"I'm so sorry, Mama. For how I behaved with you before." Said the young woman, a mist adorned the words that left her lips.
"I'm sorry too, baby girl. For not telling you the truth before." She apologised too, as she sat down on the floor.
Her daughter mimicked her and sat down as well, took her mother's cold hand in hers and rubbed it gently. "I want to know everything. No more half-truths, okay?"
"Okay." Reddie said as she brushed an unruly curl away from her daughter's face, tucking it behind her ear. She stroked her cheek with her free hand and gave her a small smile. "Fancy a hot chocolate in front of the fireplace... while I tell you all?"
"Sounds great!" May said as she stood up from the floor and offered a hand to her to make it easier for her to get up. "Now get up, you're freezing. You'll catch a cold."
The mother flinched at the almost adult woman's comment. "Since when do you behave as if you were my mother?"
"Since I'm the one who has to pick you up off the floor like you are a little girl?" the young Miller laughed.
"Ha! I love you, too, you nightmare child." Red said carelessly, shaking off the snow on her legs. She looked at her daughter who was suddenly silent. "May?" she asked, noticing that the girl was staring at a spot behind her.
"Mama..." the young girl whispered, looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite make out, only to turn her attention back to what she had previously been staring at, causing her mother to turn and look in that direction as well.
And there he was.
The man she had loved for all those years and had to leave behind. This time he was different from the last time she saw him, obviously, time had passed for him too. His gorgeous curly hair had gone grayer, and so did his beard. But without a doubt he still had almost the same physical constitution as he had had almost 20 years ago.
He was still just as undeniably handsome, though.
"Joel..." she let out in a whisper, which she doubted he would ever hear.
The man looked at her with surprise, as if he had seen a ghost, in a way. He certainly hadn't expected that after all those years he would see her again, let alone there.
Not after convincing himself that he would never see her again.
He looked at her carefully, hoping to somehow rule out that what he was seeing, not far from him, wasn't some kind of trick his mind was playing on him. Then his gaze shifted to the young teenager, who, stunned by the scene before her, shifted her gaze from her mother to the man she had discovered a few hours ago to be her father, repeatedly.
Red took May's hand and the young girl squeezed it, looked down at their hands and then back up at Joel, who was still looking at them. The adult woman bit her lower lip and tried to articulate a word, but was unable to.
Then it was when she saw it in his gaze, which changed from surprise to realization, that something had clicked in his head. It was as if he had found the last missing piece in the puzzle he had been unable to solve all that time.
And what to say. No words were needed. It was in the soft sound of the winter night, in the gentle, cold breeze, that the truth came out.
That truth he had been unaware of, until that precious moment.
areudirty
dededos
origamiaround
ellievsbear
kaledo-art
