My interpretation of Ellernate, bit incoherent:
I have a personal niche-ish idea of Ellernate having covert dissociative identity disorder, I really like the perception of Ellernate struggling with amnesia, lack of identity, and overall struggles of those with DID. I believe he isnāt aware of it, nor will he be unless he got professional help.
This lead to me believing that Ellenate has struggled with repeated trauma (whilst I think mental abuse is the best way to describe my belief of what happened, it could really be anything repeated. Up to your belief.) from birth.
Some point along the lines, he ran away from home and had been living the high life since.
- relationships/friendships
His childhood lead to him being a people pleaser, and wanting people to like him and rely on him. He doesnāt form meaningful relationships, however. Instead he has a disconnect from most people.
Ellernate feels like he has a huge gap of āwhoā he is and āwhatā he is. So there is a wonder of if anything he has ever done was genuine at all, these stops makes him struggle with forming actual relationships that are more than just deals.
However this yearning lead him to wanting to have someone who loves him truly, platonical and or not. This yearning, along with his people pleasing traits, lead him to encouraging unhealthy behaviors and having a fake positivity with others.
If one or two people truly relied on him, then he would self-isolate and try to better them in his āownā way. Something something, Ellernate having a savior complex to his special people would be sick.
I also think a lot of his identity is sourced from others, so if his friends is mad , HEāS mad. Despite him not understanding why theyāre so mad to begin with. (Heās a hypocrite)
Bc of Ellernateās lack of identity, I donāt think he even knows that he realized that he mimics and takes from other people around him. A lot of his traits are stolen from those who he āadmiresā or is āfriendsā with, or even his own āpersonaā (the people pleasing traits) of himself because he can hardly remember what heās like on his own.
This mimicking blurs together to make his own āpersonaā at some point, but itās not really who he is as a person. Heās unsure who he is as a person, since he āchanges upā every week, at least thatās how he views it as.
- he does care for people
Despite everything, he does care for people. He just doesnāt understand how to use his care in a way that doesnāt value his own self-worth on it. His love for others isnāt fictional, despite him thinking that it is.
I like to believe itās care, but his struggle and need to feel important gets in the way. He could learn to be healthy, he could learn to be better, but he already feels so amazing when his special people, trll him heās special.
He does his actions because he thinks that itās the right thing to do, he believes in encouraging isolation and other unhealthy behaviors, bc he views it as love.
I think Ellernate tries to over-compensate himself by doing actions around the around the house, acts of service and physical touch is a huge love language for him.
He wants to do the cleaning, the trades, and basically everything. It, once more, add values to him. Despite this, I think his room is very messy in a āI know where everything is, so donāt touch itā way.
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titsay
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