Hi! I’m Crow, he/him. 21 y/o demiboy 🏳️⚧️ who’s got that auti-HD wombo combo and various physical disabilities. My cane (named Hollyhock🌿) is my bestie.
I post/reblog almost exclusively kpop, writing, and fanfiction related content. This includes NSFW content so minors please dni.
I write for Stray Kids and ATEEZ, and I’m a casual enjoyer of too many others to name. I’m OT8 at heart, but my biases are Han, Yunho, and Yeosang. I’m a multishipper and connoisseur of rarepairs.
If you follow me you’ll get:
My never ending love for yunsang in whatever form pleases the brain worms (analyses/meta, ficlets, picture comps, video clips, gifsets, incoherent screaming, etc.)
Ramblings about my fanfiction (+ potential spoilers)
Fanart! And original art! And moodboards!
Positivity posts
(If you’d like to read my fics, check out my masterlist!) (Or check out my ao3)
I love thinking about puppydorm activities but it's yeosang and yunho humping all over each other at any given time. or generally just being clingy. things like hugs or cuddling that can either be very sweet bonding time or turn into something desperate. just the difference in yunho being so tall and big and yeosang being a bit shorter but buff makes it appealing. like i might just explode
Omg dude it’s like you stole my brain. I think about this ALL THE TIME. Especially bc Yeosang doesn’t really initiate touch with anyone, but Yunho is *consistently* an exception. Like, imagine Yeo cuddled up on Yunho’s lap watching him play Spiderman and trying to distract him and make him mess up cuz he thinks it’s funny. AUGH.
things that always make me happy: serial commenters. there are three types
1) reading a longfic chapter by chapter, leaving an increasingly emotional comment on every chapter, descends into keysmashes near the end: outstanding
2) read one fic by accident, clicked the author name, now working steadily through the backlog and commenting on everything, I wake up to an AO3 inbox full of enthusiasm: precious beyond words
3) the longterm serial commenter whose comment begins with I don’t even know this fandom but because they have followed me from somewhere else: stunning. humbling. magical.
these are all *chef’s kiss* and I want to add one more:
4) left a comment a while ago, comes back and leaves another comment on the same fic, telling you that they’re coming back to reread the fic: angels. blessings. lifesavers.
Lowkey driving myself crazy working on DMAS ch6 and ch7 at the same time but. The story is calling for it 🤷 I planned the chapters out together, so I guess I doomed myself to work on them together too
On a plus side, both chapters are going well? Ch6 is at 2,713 words and ch7 is at 2,368, so together they make up a full chapter XD
Summary: Seonghwa is more than happy to be there for his Doberman when he needs him.
Additional info: AU-roommates, mild hurt/comfort, idiots in love, domestic fluff, slice of life, gentle kissing, pet regression/petspace, Seonghwa is a good hyung
This is part of my bingo series and covers the following squares: pining/idiots in love, puppy, hurt/comfort. Oh and happy 3 year anniversary of posting on ao3 to me :)
Read on ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/82834651
Or read below the cut:
It’s late when his roommate knocks at his door.
Seonghwa says, “come in,” from underneath his covers, tucking a bookmark in his book and setting it to the side. He pushes himself up in his bed until he’s sitting, leaning forward expectantly as the door opens and reveals Yeosang. Peeking around the door, he steps into the frame, holding onto it like a lifeline.
“What’s up, Yeosang?” Seonghwa asks, picking up on his body language and adjusting how gently he speaks accordingly. When something is wrong, Yeosang is really bad at hiding it.
He looks up to speak, hesitates and looks to the side, then shakes his head. He puts up a hand and waves, then turns and starts closing the door behind him.
“Wait!”
Yeosang stops, turning back around.
“Do you want to join me? Is that all?” Seonghwa offers up, pulling his covers down and scooting to the side so there’s space next to him on the bed.
Yeosang nods and comes back into the room, cautiously crawling onto Seonghwa’s bed and settling beside him.
“Are you okay?” Seonghwa asks as he puts the blankets over Yeosang’s legs in an attempt to help him relax.
Yeosang shakes his head no.
“How can I help you?”
Yeosang puts Seonghwa’s hand on top of his head in a silent question. Seonghwa doesn’t miss a beat and gently scratches his scalp. He cards his fingers through Yeosang’s hair and scratches again at the base of his neck. Yeosang leans into the touch, tilting his head ever so slightly. His expression eases into contentment, and a sweet smile begins to play at the corners of his lips.
“You’re such a beautiful doberman,” Seonghwa starts, and Yeosang perks up. Seonghwa can imagine ears at the top of his head, flicking as if to be sure he heard him right. He decides to start there.
“Beautiful ears,” he says, feeling around the shell of his ear down to the lobe with his forefinger and thumb.
“Fur,” he brushes the hair out of Yeosang’s face and tucks it behind his ears.
“Jaw,” he says while running his fingertips against the cut of Yeosang’s jaw, “and snout,” he boops him once.
Seonghwa smiles and cups his face in his hands. “And eyes. Beautiful eyes.”
Yeosang blinks those big, beautiful brown eyes up at him and Seonghwa’s heart tightens with fondness. He comes closer and gives a tiny kitten lick to the tip of Seonghwa’s nose, making him chuckle.
“Can I call you mine? Do you want to be my guard dog?” Seonghwa asks.
Yeosang smiles, and even his teeth are pretty. Even and white with defined canines that make him look even more like a dog.
He buries his head in Seonghwa’s neck and begins attacking it with licks. The tickling strokes of his tongue glancing over his skin brings bubbling laughter out of Seonghwa. He crosses his arms over his chest, but can’t find it in him to push Yeosang away. The action, albeit a little gross, is too endearing.
He takes it as a yes.
“Guard dogs are supposed to be well behaved!” He giggles out, fighting back against Yeosang now. But gently. Just because he’s in a better mood now doesn’t mean he wasn’t not okay.
He squeaks when Yeosang prys his hands away from his chest and pins them to the side, hovering over him with an intensity he’s not used to seeing from him. He has no idea where Yeosang is going to take this. It’s hot. It’s scary. He panics.
“Yeosang, fetch,” he says.
Yeosang’s grip slackens, confusion overtaking his face.
“Fetch me a wipe,” Seonghwa stammers, “please.”
Yeosang crawls off of him and fetches the wipe obediently, sitting on the edge of the bed while Seonghwa wipes off his neck and avoids making eye contact with him. Awkwardness seeps into the air. Seonghwa begins to fiddle with the corner of the wipe, the urge to keep himself clean satisfied, guilt taking its place.
“I’m sorry.”
Yeosang’s voice comes out small and fearful.
“Oh baby, no,” Seonghwa says immediately, mortified that Yeosang took it the way he did. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just… it’s just…”
He meets Yeosang’s eyes, finding care in them.
“I like you,” he swallows. “And I feel bad, but it’s hard to do this with you when you don’t like me back. I still want to be here for you, I just— I need a minute.”
Yeosang has gone still. Seonghwa grows afraid he’s said the wrong thing, ready to take it all back and pretend he never admitted anything when—
Yeosang crawls back onto the bed. And over him. And pins him again.
Seonghwa fights back immediately this time, pushing against his grip to no avail. “Yeosang, this isn’t funny,” he starts, about to continue when Yeosang leans down and kisses his forehead.
Now it’s Seonghwa’s turn to go still. He looks up at Yeosang with wide eyes and his mouth parted slightly in shock. Before he can fully register what happened, Yeosang leans down again and kisses his cheek, gentler than the last kiss.
When Yeosang hovers over him again, his gaze flicks between Seonghwa’s eyes and his lips, asking a question.
Seonghwa can’t quite believe this is happening. But seeing the same hesitation in Yeosang’s eyes that he feels in his own self, he nods yes.
Yeosang leans down one last time and kisses him proper, somehow even gentler than the last two kisses combined. It’s a fleeting butterfly touch of lips to lips, the softest, sweetest thing he’s ever experienced.
And it doesn’t end.
Yeosang keeps kissing him. He keeps pressing the most delicate kisses all over his face, and every time he circles back around to kissing Seonghwa’s lips, Seonghwa melts further into it. Every kiss feels like a unanimous, collective yes to his unanswered question; that Yeosang likes him back. He’s unable to keep a smile from his face, even when Yeosang accidentally kisses his teeth in his puppy love frenzy.
Eventually he settles and they cuddle, wrapped around each other in Seonghwa’s bed. Yeosang gets his words back when he comes out of his funk and they talk things out. This new prospect held in the tender space between them after multiple years of what both had assumed was a one-sided affair drives excitement through their hearts.
They laugh off the grief of wasted time, rather opting to look together at their bright future.
I ran an experiment this past week of trying to write everyday since I was on break— just as a short term thing since I know it isn’t sustainable for me long term. Here’s what happened!
Sunday the 29th: 157 words total (all for DMAS)
Monday the 30th: 406 words total (all for one bingo fic)
Tuesday the 31st: 505 words total (193 for a bingo fic, 205 for DMAS, and 107 for MAFW pt2)
Wednesday the 1st: 105 words total (all for Tip The Scales) (my ateez a/b/o)
Thursday the 2nd: 136 words total (all for DMAS)
Friday the 3rd: 96 words total (all for a new yunsang oneshot)
Saturday the 4th: 200 words total (all for the same oneshot)
Sunday the 5th: 200 words total (all for the same oneshot XD)
My total words all added up ended up being 1,805! Which I’m super proud of! And I’m even more proud of myself for sticking to it and succeeding at writing every day. That’s a big W.
Anyway! This week on the 10th is my 3rd anniversary of posting on ao3, and to celebrate I’m going to (fingers crossed) edit the bingo ficlet I worked on this week and put that out on or around the date!
Two years ago today I posted the very first chapter of Don’t Make A Scene! I thought a great way to celebrate it would be to share some behind-the-scenes stuff on my writing process/system when it comes to this fic, and a sneak peek of the next chapter 👀
So let’s get into it!
Firstly! DMAS is in two documents, one simply titled “Don’t Make A Scene” where I do all my storywriting chapter by chapter, and the other titled “DMAS tidbits and bobs” where I put all* my notes, ideas, future scenes, cut scenes, inspiration, etc.
*well, not all of my notes are in the tidbits doc. I keep my notes for the chapter I’m working on at the bottom of the chapter so that they’re easily accessible, and I delete them when the chapter is finished.
I don’t have a strict outline I adhere to, but I have a lot of big plans for the fic. I’ve found I prefer to come up with ideas and then let the characters decide how and when we get there. However, I do plan out my chapters at least one or two in advance. For example, I came up with the plan for chapters six and seven when I was finishing up chapter five. When I get to chapter seven, I’ll plan chapter eight, and so on and so forth.
Each chapter averages around 5k words in length, with the formal splits being as follows: chapter one at 4,907 words, chapter two at 4,227 words, chapter three at 4,367 words, chapter four at 6,613 words, chapter five at 5,025 words, and chapter six at 1,630 words so far :)
I don’t write chronologically! I mean, I do write chapter by chapter in my main document, but I don’t write scene by scene, and if I get an idea for a future scene I’m not gonna pass up on writing it down in my second document (I’ll forget it otherwise.) For the most part, I write in big sections, and then go back later and bridge the gaps. It’s like a puzzle to me: I block out a small part bc I already have some pieces together, and connect it to the frame later.
As for inspiration, I take a lot of it from my own life. My own interest in theater, psychology, and fabric arts is what inspired Ateez’s majors, since I thought it would be easier to write stuff I know a good bit about rather than have to do tons of research on something new. Other inspiration comes from Ateez themselves and the activities they get up to.
Secondly, the sneak peek ;)
-
He hesitates for another moment.
Yunho: Are you okay?
Guilt rides his shoulders. He didn’t mean to make Yunho worry about him.
A smaller, quieter part of him is glad he asked.
A bigger, louder part of him kind of wants to cry at the thought of answering. This is why he put this off for so long. His parents raised him to be an honest person. But in this situation, honesty feels like taking a sledgehammer to a dam. And, politely, he’d rather not unleash a flood upon himself or anybody else.
People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.
I’m feeling pretty upset tonight. Now that it’s February, I’ve been putting in effort to get back into writing, and I’ve been pretty successful so far with some new stuff, but I’m running into the issue of feeling guilty for working on anything but DMAS. Because I was really hoping to get ch.5 out before or by DMAS’s anniversary. But I’m not feeling motivated for DMAS rn :(
So it’s stuck at 60% and too disjointed for me to post in two halves… frustrated sigh
I know forcing myself isn’t gonna get me anywhere, it never has. But I want this chapter done so badly. I want to put something out there. I want my audience to know I haven’t died or given up on DMAS, I’m just struggling 😭
