Was his creator one and the same with his ‘god’? No doubt, Lucifer could not deny it for he was a man who offered honesty where he may divine it. Even so he notes the way the world about them falters, shimmering as if a pebble had been carelessly tossed so that ripples may disturb the once even surface. Eyes cast up and there is something of sadness, for what should have been vast and beautiful is but a lazy recollection hardly put together at all.
This, Lucifer thinks, this right here is the difference between them. Lucifer dreams of blue skies, whilst Lucilius cannot even bring himself to dream of any sky at all.
Even as he is commanded not to touch Lucifer disobeys, for that is the beauty of what he was created with and so he chooses now to exert his own will. Fingers linger softly and without force, trailing the seam that had bound his creator to Lucifer’s own body. It was no doubt an ugly thing, such that sounds inspire anger and hatred at what it had taken from Lucifer for this ugly creation to be born. Once more there is none of the reaction there, merely benevolence as he opts for what he sees as the better path. Too much of him was bound to Lucilius to truly hate anyway, it would have been an impossibility.
“Stagnation.” Fingers retract, falling away as he once more retreats to his seat as if he had never touched at all. “I agreed once, but I have since come to the conclusion that there is another way.” Because in perceived perfection Lucifer had learnt, had grown. He had been created an adult without the experience a child would rely on into later life to forge them into suitable adult, fulfilling role and being a ‘what’ rather than ‘who’. Yet somewhere he had grown tired and had understood. Understood better than any.
Even so, he feels certain Lucilius will not entirely understand what he wishes to say. “I have decided the best way to protect them is to let them live free to make their own choice, to forge their own paths. Stagnation is a conclusion, but it is not the only one.” Cold tea is brought to lips, opting to partake in it even as he found something unpleasant in tepid nature.
“Were it that they only stagnated you would not have lost, for people will evolve throughout their lives. They will grow, and with care enough they will flourish beneath careful diligence.” This had been the duty Lucifer had tasked himself with, though only now does he realise his coddling had likely been too much. He had died before he’d been able to correct this mistake.
Quiet sigh and wings twitch, looking up once more. He wonders if he could alter this world if he saw fit, realising that no doubt he could. “When you look at the sky what do you see?”
That gaze of sorrow does not escape him. Surely he must think little of him, of how pathetic the Astral seemed faltering over his control of this false world, over nothing but words to make matters for his pride worse. ( He knew it to be that sympathetic nature again; admitting it, acknowledging his perfect being was defective, was the difficult part. )
Though he detests having to answer to Lucifer any more than he has to, the primal’s resistance growing increasingly grating with each word he utters, Lucilius nonetheless humors him, heeding the call to debate.
❝ Oho? So you would prefer to be a negligent caretaker rather than a doting one. There is difference in neither; the only way in which you separate yourself from the creator is that you would choose to live among them. But here you sit, with no common people to know your name and remember your sacrifices - is that fair? Is that just? You would have them evolve and grow as you want them to, but be unable to witness it? ❞
The Astral shook his head as expected, brow furrowed in thought over the fallen primarch’s words that he just could not make sense of. Did this mean Lucifer evolved in his own way, then, adapting to the emotions he learned of, the joys he saw in letting people run free?
❝ I am but one example of the creator’s ignorance, his Speaker’s - the one it abandoned -blind loyalty. My time here has been hell. To be in between dimensions, locked away for time untold, having only my own thoughts to carry me... Not existing at all would be a finer fate. Yet I could not be granted even that wish. Instead, my sentence is to be tied to the very thing I sought to destroy - stagnation. ...You have felt the same elsewhere, yes...? ❞
He is reminded of days gone past again, days where the two clones would partake in amiable discussion, trading thoughts and philosophies without a care for status. Good days, perhaps even days he missed. ( But not days that could happen once more. )
Pressing his lips into a tight frown, he brings his cup up towards them, not even caring for the sour taste the loss of warmth gave it. They will grow, he says. Yet far too much growth leads to the lower plants, those unable to adapt and overcome, to wilt and die out; too little growth leads to ruin, the extinguishing of evolution, and a shameful reset. He would have those he was created to guide endure such trials...? For what purpose...?
His voice is steadfast and true in response to Lucifer’s question, how quick he was in saying such a sentence almost unsettling. The clinking of a jagged finger against rim of cup is all that can be heard in the moment of respite he gives himself, taking careful notice of the manner in which Lucifer stared at what the sky could be.
❝ The dawn that breaks through the clouds, the twilight that ushers in rest, the ever-visible moon guiding what the sun cannot - all of it is meaningless. What point is there to toil away in the flawed memory of an overseer who is not there...what point is there to living if death is what awaits in the end? Disease runs rampant, evil is birthed in the hearts of man, and taking a life is just as easy as creating one - where is this loving and protective god to aid its children then? Where was it when I was doubting my faith and subsequently defied it...? ❞ A shuddering breath escapes the pondering Astral, his words clear and concise as if it were something he’d known and rehearsed his entire life - and it was.
❝ Flawed you are for not accepting that these worlds are void, and flawed I am for not accepting you. ❞
