Hey guys, are you experiencing social anxiety online? You know, usually it's considered that it's may be hard to communicate in real life, but easier online. But what if it's even harder online?
I think I restrict myself in interactions because I'm so afraid.. Like, I never participate in discussions in the comments even if I really want to say something, and it's so hard to force myself to write a compliment to the art I like or even repost it even if it's my friend's post. I'm really anxious to reply on comments to my art. Moreover I'm scared to write or ask somethig in group chat doesn't matter if it's chat with other artists in some project (I feel stupid and my heart beats so fast everytime I'm doing it), my classmates or even my friends again, hello??
I feel like I'm missing out on so much.. I mean, I have some benefits to start communication, like you know, my art.. I could talk to my audience, freely reply to comments, and try to communicate with the artists we're mutuals with..
I've tried communicating with people online a few times (well, they were the initiators every time) but those were very strange, very difficult attempts for me. They all ended up well. We're some kind of friends now, and my anxiety level during this conversation is under control. But it's still a very big deal, I need to spend a lot of effort to make it work, even if I want it myself.
Today I watched a life stream for the first time (a very scary, parasocial activity, I believe) and looked at the chat section. I was thinking about how these people can message a streamer they like and get responses, communicate with each other, while I can only watch..
It's not that I don't like being an observer. I'm also some kind of a content creator so.. in some way, people are watching me and it's fine.. But what if someone wants me to respond? What if I have things in my head that can be interesting to people I don't know yet?
Sometimes I want to say something. To respond. And in those moments it feels like I don't have a mouth.
I'm not even writing this post on social media where I usually share such things because I'm afraid again. What's wrong with me÷(
stormborns
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