I feel like as a society, the sooner we realize that people are not obligated to like/cherish gifts without any prior knowledge of what was happening, the better.
What I mean by this is how people, especially when referring to family members, get up in arms about "Oh but you can't get rid of that because your aunt made it for you!" Or "Why aren't you so appreciative of what was given by your nephew?"
Like yes, I feel that when someone gives you something that you shouldn't just immediately disown or trash it even if you don't like it. You should still be polite, respectful, and understand the work if it's a hand made piece.
However, if someone makes something for you without giving you any input, warning, or idea of what to expect, then the maker should take into account that their gift may not be as beloved as they want it to be.
Sure, it is disheartening to know that the amount of time, effort, and money you put into something wasn't as appreciated as you intended it to be, but I feel like that's the dice you have to roll when doing a gift surprise like that.
My family members have made me dolls and blankets without asking if I would like one, or if I would use it, or if I have space, and when I receive it I am both in awe at what they did, but also in shock because I don't know what to do. I wasn't expecting to have this piece nor was it something I was asking/needing.
So now I'm left in a situation where I have a piece that takes up room and makes me feel guilty because I don't like it, but I'm forced to hold onto it only because someone in the family made it. I can't sell it because "Oh but your X made it! They put in so much time and money into it!" And to that I am very aware and appreciative of what they've done, but I also wasn't ready to own this item.
I've talked to people about this, and most come to the idea of "how would you feel if you made something and the person didn't like it?" And well, I would feel fine because I know I wouldn't spend so much effort into it unless I had talked to the recipient about it.
Recently my cousin was over and I asked him to give me a couple of colors, I then went to make him a couple of kandi beaded bracelets. As I was making them I knew there was a possibility he may not like, want, or wear them, so I weighed in the worth of my actions against the unknown future. I then showed them to him and said that I made two designs because I was unsure which he would like, and that he's free to have one or both, BUT he can also not accept either or just ask for a different color. He thought about it long and hard and then asked if instead of those colors if he could have a cyan and purple one. I asked if what pattern and then went downstairs to cut up the old ones and make his new one. I wasn't offended, and in fact I was quite happy he denied my offer to give me exactly what he would like instead.
Anyways this has gone on much longer than I thought.
