Soldier Boy's grumpy assistant

𝓘𝓯 𝓲𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸 𝓼𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓪𝓼𝓴 𝓢𝓑 𝓯𝓸𝓻, 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓰𝓸 𝓽𝓸 𝓶𝓮

[voughthellhole]

“Hello. My name is Emma. I work for Vought so I obviously have to keep certain information confidential but I’m not gonna send you to the bloody fuckin’ camps just because you have some stupid opinion. You can say whatever you want here; I do not care as long as it is somewhat tame. Gosh, do I really have to explain what I mean? I think I can trust you people enough to know what I mean. Ask whatever you want. Obviously if you send threats to Soldier Boy or something of that sort, I may have to……slime you out? Is that discreet enough? Also if a man by the name William Butcher asks about me, please say you don’t know me, thanks. ……Have fun.”

(side blog to @gargle-my-ballsack)

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Alright this is it, we get a stake through the heart when the vampire man girl is sleeping.” @ashortdropandasuddenstop

@miss-faultfinder

[miss-faultfinder]

What vampire girl? Soldier boy are you high again? Do I need to call your assistant?

@voughthellhole

@gargle-my-ballsack

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“It’s a girl but it’s also a man. That’s sometimes really unclear but that detail doesn’t fuckin’ matter. It’s British and I’m at war with it so I need to just put an end to this shit and it’s not like Elizabeth can get nuked cus’ she’s fuckin’ indestructible to the max. Where do I find a stake? Don’t tell Emma about this whole thing.”

[miss-faultfinder]

Is this the war where I had the idea of killing that one guy; who was it again? The president? I think you told Ashley about this too. I forgot there was even a war to begin with.. and since when was there a vampire and who are Emma and Elizabeth?! I know I'm infamous for taking naps that last for days sometimes weeks but damn! How long was I out for?!

[voughthellhole]

“Me. I’m Emma.😔”

“What is Soldier Boy doing??”

[miss-faultfinder]

If you're Emma, who the hell is Elizabeth?!

[voughthellhole]

The vampire lad, I guess. Soldier Boy thinks the vampire is a girl, I don’t think he is. He isn’t exactly a party animal so you can’t always get a hold of him.”

[voughthellhole]

Hello Emma, I am doing a work for school

Between you and me, from 1-10, how much do you hate your job?

“Hi! I'll say....maybe a 7? I don't hate it. It pays pretty well but I guess that would depend on which supe you’re working for, oof. Working at Vought in general can be pretty stressful but Soldier Boy is a good lad when he follows the schedule. Such a good boy.”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Alright this is it, we get a stake through the heart when the vampire man girl is sleeping.” @ashortdropandasuddenstop

@miss-faultfinder

[miss-faultfinder]

What vampire girl? Soldier boy are you high again? Do I need to call your assistant?

@voughthellhole

@gargle-my-ballsack

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“It’s a girl but it’s also a man. That’s sometimes really unclear but that detail doesn’t fuckin’ matter. It’s British and I’m at war with it so I need to just put an end to this shit and it’s not like Elizabeth can get nuked cus’ she’s fuckin’ indestructible to the max. Where do I find a stake? Don’t tell Emma about this whole thing.”

[miss-faultfinder]

Is this the war where I had the idea of killing that one guy; who was it again? The president? I think you told Ashley about this too. I forgot there was even a war to begin with.. and since when was there a vampire and who are Emma and Elizabeth?! I know I'm infamous for taking naps that last for days sometimes weeks but damn! How long was I out for?!

[voughthellhole]

“Me. I’m Emma.😔”

“What is Soldier Boy doing??”

[voughthellhole]

“Who the fuck messed up my papers?????? I had them perfectly organized in alphabetical order tucked inside their individual binders….”

miss-faultfinder !!!!!!!

[miss-faultfinder]

Whattttt.. that's crazyyy... Hope you find them!

[voughthellhole]

“Uh huh. Suuure. This isn’t gonna be funny anymore once I get Mr Edgar over here….or better yet, Soldier Boy.”

[miss-faultfinder]

Pft- I'm not scared of a old boujee man who talks down to everyone else when he ended up getting kicked out of his own building by a guy who wears a flag as a blanket and another man with daddy issues and an ego so fragile that he gotta sleep with other women to reassure his mental that he's good enough man and not some "guy who took a shortcut to get where he's at".

@gargle-my-ballsack

@soldier-boy-official

[voughthellhole]

Emma places on an arrogant, knowing smile.“Well if I’m not mistaken, that old man was your boss as well. He was the one who made you the famous person you are today, so I wouldn’t be so quick to criticize. A bit of a biting the hand that feeds you situation, yeah? And as much as you can point fingers at Soldier Boy, you were also complicit in the atrocities he committed. I can imagine that using innocent college kids as target practice isn’t a good look. I would put those files back if I were you.”

[americasrealhero]

Why the hell, do you keep multiplying!?!?

Like I've seen 2- now 3 of you! Literally!

First @hom3land3r

Then @homelander-vought

And now you?! This is too much! @voughthellhole help me! He's multiplying and I can't stop it! I might need to convince @gargle-my-ballsack to get rid of these clones with his chest blast thing!

From: @miss-faultfinder rp account

There’s more mes? I didn’t know that…

[voughthellhole]

“Multiverse type shit. Err…..Voughtverse? Bloody hell…..”

[voughthellhole]

“Who the fuck messed up my papers?????? I had them perfectly organized in alphabetical order tucked inside their individual binders….”

miss-faultfinder !!!!!!!

[miss-faultfinder]

Whattttt.. that's crazyyy... Hope you find them!

[voughthellhole]

“Uh huh. Suuure. This isn’t gonna be funny anymore once I get Mr Edgar over here….or better yet, Soldier Boy.”

[voughthellhole]

“Who the fuck messed up my papers?????? I had them perfectly organized in alphabetical order tucked inside their individual binders….”

miss-faultfinder !!!!!!!

[voughthellhole]

Hey girl, I don't think we've met. I'm @miss-faultfinder; soldier boys' old (and currently only alive) ex-member from his payback days. Don't be deceived by my looks though! I may look like I'm in my 20s but I'm over 100 years old 🥴.

Jeez, I never get used to saying that out loud.

Anyways! How are you? Do you have files from the Pentagon you could let me steal- I MEAN UM- do you have any files I could help you organize? You know to help with stress since I don't have anything else to do and I know soldier boy probably give PR a heart attack everytime he opens his mouth to say something..

“I don’t believe we’ve formally met, no. I have seen you however. I collected so many Soldier Boy comics when I was younger. I read your stand alone book, they built a whole fucking backstory for you just for them to forget you entirely almost. I’m guessing the backstory was bollocks like everything else is. Um, I actually never realized you people didn’t age, I just went with the flow like a distracted, mindless fangirl. Until the media came to their senses of course. Sigh.

I’m doing alright. Soldier Boy is fine, normal as always. He’s just…..him I guess. Ok. Unfortunately just because you are a celebrity does not mean I can allow you into my office for long without an appointment….but you can um, hang here for a bit if you want and look at books or something. I’m just planning……”

[bcmbsight]

OPEN STARTER:

"Get behind me!"

[voughthellhole]

“Um….o-ok. Who are you and what the fuck was that??”

(side blog to @gargle-my-ballsack)

[voughthellhole]

"Sake sure is nice. You can forget your troubles if only for a moment. You'll have to remember them tomorrow though, and they'll be even more painful than they were the night before. You can't run away from things like this. Especially from things you really want to forget."

“I’m sorry, what is a ‘Sake’? W-wait, I’m gonna have to have nightmares tomorrow?? I don’t think I have…….too much painful memories. This is all going so fast.”