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Ultra-Independence is a Trauma Response

I shared a post about this topic on TWW IG and a lot of you seemed to resonate. So, I decided to make a blog post about it. Let’s jump right in. What is Ultra-Independence? It is a defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves when we’ve learned that it isn’t safe to trust others. Regular independence is great. It’s healthy. What’s not healthy is suppressing yourself and your needs, failing…

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#friendship #mental health #relationships #self improvement #self-esteem #self-love #toxic relationships #trauma #trauma bonding #trauma response #ultra independence #ultra-independence

Did he change for her?

*Everything I write is interchangeable between men and women.*

Every day I see several quotes floating around the Internet that get hundreds and thousands of reposts. What’s worse than the quotes themselves is the fact that so many people have fallen into believing these illusionary statements to be true.

There is one quote in particular that I want to take the time to dispel:

“A man…

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Ask Tori: How to Stay Positive When You’re Surrounded by Negativity

How to Stay Positive When You’re Surrounded by Negativity?

The trick is…you don’t.

One of my favorite lessons from Brené Brown’s book, The Power of Vulnerability, (highly suggested in my “book list”), is when she spoke about being a turtle without a shell in a briar patch. I know it doesn’t make sense yet. Bear with me. A briar patch is a thorny plant. Brené was complaining to a friend…

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Why It’s Important To Release Negative Assumptions When Dealing With Others

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” – Henry Winkler

Let’s say you’re dating someone new and have plans to meet up. Next thing you know, you receive a text from them saying that they can’t make it to the date. In that moment, do you assume that they’re are making excuses, or don’t want to hang out with you? Or, let’s say one of your friends ‘seems’ like they’ve been avoiding you. Do…

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#negative assumptions #relationships #release negative assumptions

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Requested Topic: How To Overcome Regret

First off, know that it’s okay and healthy to feel regret for a short period of time because it can help us learn from our mistakes; however, keeping this feeling for a long period of time is not good! Regret stems from us blaming ourselves for something that happened. We feel ashamed or guilty for the way that something played out.

To overcome regret we have to forgive ourselves. In order to…

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National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month: Be A Friend

Randomly, I felt it in my spirit to talk about suicide. Coincidentally, or maybe not, upon feeling this urge, I found out Sept. 9th through Sept. 15th is actually National Suicide Prevention Week, and September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.

Constantly, we hear about people committing suicide. The media has been a blessing and a curse. It’s a curse because it desensitizes…

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