He recoiled at that, as if he’d been burned, blinking rapidly as pain registered upon his face. “I… I tell you everything,” he softed. Were… Were they not friends? Did she not share in those feelings? He backed away a bit as the hurt worsened, becoming a ball of pain in his chest he couldn’t untangle. But hurt swiftly turned to anger. “I trusted you with everything! But you’ve lied to me all this time! I get that this isn’t something you’d just tell anyone but…”
You’re my best friend, Val.
He wanted to say it, but, for whatever reason, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He’d thought he wasn’t just anyone. He’d thought he’d meant more to her than that. But… he was wrong. And that hurt more than any wound her claws could ever inflict.
“I just… You could have trusted me! Did you think I’d hate you? Did you think I’d tell everyone? Come on, Val, you know me better than that!”
He was afraid, it was true. Of course he was afraid. But that was mostly due to the fact that this had come as a complete shock. He’d seen her transform, tear into the Silver Hand as if they were made of little more than paper, and even feast upon their intestines before he’d the sense to run. How was that not terrifying? What did she expect when she did not prepare him?
“I could have handled it. But this…? This is… I don’t know, you scared the shit out of me, Val!” He hadn’t known if she was in control or if she was going to turn on him next. He had no way of knowing. As far as he knew, werewolves became mindless beasts upon transformation. Clearly, that was not the case, at least not for her, but at the time, he hadn’t known. He couldn’t have known.
“Look, you mean a lot to me, okay? That wouldn’t have changed if you’d been honest with me from the start. It’s not going to change now. I don’t know how this came about or what made you go down this path, but it doesn’t matter to me either way. Okay? I just… I thought you knew you could trust me.”
her jaw clenches, expression as steely as the second before in spite of teldryn’s hurt. it was a harsh thing to say, she knows that, and he’s still her closest friend, but--
nothing is enough to make her ever feel comfortable with this. not him, and not anyone before who found out, either. ( not even brynjolf with all his suaveness and charm was enough to make her feel at ease with it. )
she steps backward, crouching down to lift hellfire where she had dropped it so she may sheathe it back into her belt. her head is turned away.
❛ this isn’t the same as the sort of fucking tragic secret you’re thinking, like if i was actually a member of the tong, or something, or if i was really dunmer royalty the whole time. ❜ if only it was that simple and cutesy, not involving her transforming into a terrible beast to rip flesh from bone and devour it. trust has nothing to do with this secret.
while her stare had been hard before, it immediately sours into a glower with his last few words, and she almost visibly tenses as she whips her head back toward him, locking their stares. how dare he say that to her? how dare he imply this was anything even close to a choice?
❛ what made me go down this path? ❜ valvossa hisses, the sheer hostility in her tone uncharacteristic of her normal friendliness. ❛ you-- ❜
it’s been a long time since she’s felt such genuine anger and hurt, and while she knows he hadn’t intended on prodding the wound, her eyes sting regardless. gods, she hates being angry like this. not only because of the wolf, the ugliness of it, but because she can never manage it without crying.
❛ never mind. i’m going back. just leave me alone. ❜
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